One of my greatest fears is feeling unloved. To not be accepted, and to have to face rejection. I get so worked up knowing someone doesn't like me. Worse than that I can become enraged when someone is spreading vicious lies about me. GOD revealed HIS truth to me yesterday, and today in HIS words just how much I need to overcome the insecurity of feeling unloved, and the feeling of rejection.
HIS Daily teachings yesterday revealed to me that "when life suddenly errupts like a volcano insecurity turns into panic." Beth Moore. I now know that HE was trying to prepare me for what the day would be bringing. Thankfully I didn't errupt for too long, before HE rescued me once again before I completely self destructed. I am learning that HE prepares me for the very test that I am going to be enduring right when I need it.
Yesterday I was hit pretty hard by some accusations that I couldn't even fathom someone saying about me. Upon hearing what "people" thought about me, I became angry, and I began to think very impure thoughts. I had allowed the "lies of deception" to creep into my life, and even when I knew that these things weren't true, I allowed myself to be emotionally lead. HIS Daily teachings was a double dose of what HE wanted me to know today. HE made it so that I wasn't able to blog yesterday, as I needed to go through this test to fully understand what HE was saying to me.
HE has been showing me that it is when I am falling apart, HIS unfailing love will be revealed to me. It is when those moments of rejection come into my life, and the feelings of being judged, and not being acceptetd creep into my heart, and begin to twist my emotions and distort HIS words for me that I must cling to HIM and know that HE is with me. I am learning that just because I was forsaken by so many people, HE will never forsake me.
HE knows that the pain of rejection that I endured as a young girl still creeps into my thoughts sometimes. HE also knows that when I allow that pain to creep into my heart, it keeps me from knowing HIS truth. HE has revealed to me that until I know for certain whose I am, HE will allow these tests of my faith in HIM to continue.
Today I am seekiing to know "whose I am, so I can know who I am" Pastor Brian Sanders, ELEVATE Church. Today I am thankful for the tests that HE is putting me through, as they are refining and renewing my heart. I am thankful that HE is strengthening my faith, and allowing me to grow closer to HIM. I am thankful that I know I am to fully rely on HIM.
GOD has let me know that it is because HE is the one who created me, HE knows exactly the way my heart works. HE knows how tenderhearted I am, as HE intended me to be tenderhearted. HE is showing me that my greatest need can only be fulfilled by HIM, and that is unfailing love. HIS unfailing love that is,"unconditional, unwavering, radical, demonstartive, broader than the horizon, and deeper than the sea."
HE is saying that I am lying if I say my greatest need is anything besides HIS unfailing love.
"What a person desires is unfailing love[better to be poor than a liar." Proverbs 19:22
I am learning that GOD created me to crave HIS unfailing love. HE created me to crave HIM so that I would receive eternal life through HIM. HE created in me a need that wouldn't be fulfilled until I seek HIM earnestlly every day of my life.
Beth Moore describes what that seeking means in these words: " Searching for perfect, unfailing love in anyone else is not only fruitless, it is miserably disappointing and destructive." I know that I will never find that fulfillment in the flesh, therefore I must seek HIM earnestly and allow HIM to teach, lead, and guide me through every moment of my life. I know that my heart will not be healthy until it is completely full of HIM.
"No love of the natural heart is safe unless the human heart has be satisfied by GOD first." Oswald Chambers.
"We are not free to love in the true intent of the word until we have found HIS love."
I would add that not only could I not love freely, but I didn't understand what it fully meant to love someone until I found GOD'S love for me.
D and I came to the realization about six years ago, that neither one of us truly loved each other when we got married. We got married when I was 6 months pregnant with our first daughter. We had been planning our wedding for the summer of 99, however in the summer of 98 GOD had other plans for us. I still wanted to wait until the date when had orginally chosen, but D was adamant that he wanted to be married before our child was to be born. I was terrified of what people would think, as I knew it was wrong to be pregnant before marriage, but even in my "knowing" I didn't really understand what that truly meant.
It would be years later that GOD would take me through that time, and show me what it meant. It is when HE would reveal to both D and I that we couldn't possibly understand and truly love someone with HIM in our lives. In just two short months D and I will be celebrating 15 years of marriage, and we would love to be able to renew our vows, as it is now that we truly understand what it is to love one another, and to be fully committed to one another. We know this because we have chosen to keep JESUS at the center of our marriage. Today we know that our love for each other runs deep, but our love for CHRIST runs even deeper.
We know that it has been through HIS unfailing love that we were able to find each other again throughout the storms of our marriage. We have learned that we were able to forgive much easier because we know that HE has forgiven us. We have been able to demonstrate unconditional love to our children because of HIS undconditional love for us.
I have learned that love without JESUS, is all just temporary. Love without HIM, is here today, and gone tomorrow. HIS love is everlasting, and when we choose to keep HIM at the center of our marriage, and our family, our family will be everlasting.
Today I am thankful that I know I will find HIM when I am falling apart. I am thankful for HIS unfailing love, that is renewing and refining my heart daily. I am thankful that HIS love is allowing me to be a mama to 5 awesome children, and a wife to amazing GODLY man. I am thankful for this life that HE has chosen for me, and I am thankful for HIS Daily Teachings as that is where I find HIS unfailing love, when I am falling apart.
I pray today that you will know HIS unfailing love is always there. I pray today that if you are falling apart, that you will seek the one who knows and loves you the most. I pray that HIS truth will be revealed to you, and that you will know that HIS unfailing love is meant just for you. I pray today that HE will capture your heart, and HE will show you that HE created you just the way HE intended.
Blessings,
Heather
This is an account of my early morning walks of faith with my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. In searching for accountablity for me, the LORD used it as encouragement for others. I pray blessings for each and every life who reads HIS Daily Teachings
Saturday, August 24, 2013
Thursday, August 22, 2013
lies of deception....
I'm always sad when its time to leave our church, and go home, as it is when I am in church that I feel HIS presence the most. It is where I feel the most safe, and can feel HIS strength running through me. I try and keep that feeling with me the rest of my week, however like clock work come Monday morning I feel defeated once again, and sometimes I feel as if though I'm barely surviving the week.
GOD is currently taking me down a path of revealing all of the lies that Satan has been telling me. HE is doing this so that I will have true freedom, and will be able to live the rest of my days with joy and peace in my heart. HIS Daily Teachings today was to uncover the lies of deception that I have allowed in my heart. Once again HE has brought me to my knees. HE has revealed things to me, I never even knew that I was being deceived about HE also revealed to me how at times I have been the one who has been deceiving.
In "Praying GOD'S Word" Beth Moore writes how to recognize the lies of deception in our lives. I was floored as I read the fifteen examples she wrote out. I not only recognized them in my life, but in other's as well. I am overwhelmed at how much I have allowed Satan's lies of deception in my life.
LIE #1 ~ I can never be victorious over this compulsion, I've had it too long
HIS TRUTH! ~ I can do anything through CHRIST as HE gives me the strength! Phil 4:13
LIE #2 ~ I can't help the mess I am in. I am caught. There's nothing I can do about it.
HIS TRUTH! ~ HE can, will, and does transform my heart, soul, and mind all I have to do is ask! I must repent of my sins, and HE will free me! I must seek HIM earnestly every single day!
"It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm,then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery." Galatians 5:1
LIE #3 ~ It may be a stronghold, but I really need it to get by.
HIS TRUTH! ~ CHRIST IS ENOUGH FOR ME! HE is all I need! HE can, will, and does meet all of my needs abundantly!
"And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:19
LIE #4 ~ I am absolutely worthless, I am a failure.
HIS TRUTH! ~ I am exactly the way HE intended. I am not a failure, I am a sinner, I must confess, and repent, and I will be forgiven.
"Since you are precious and honored in my sight,and because I love you, I will give people in exchange for you, nations in exchange for your life." Isaiah 43:4
LIE #5 ~ I'm in control here. This is not controlling me.
HIS TRUTH! ~ HE doesn't want me in control, as my ways are NOT HIS ways. HE wants me to let go... and let HIM teach, lead, and guide me through every single moment of my life. I can't overcome anything without HIM. HE is who will set me free from my strongholds.
Throughout my time with HIM this morning HE kept directing me back to the same scripture, and in my "need" to control, HE is letting me know that I am NOT in control and so I am sharing the scripture once again with you!
"It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm,then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery." Galatians 5:1
LIE #6 ~ This isn't doing me any harm. I can handle it.
HIS TRUTH! ~ HE has let me know that anything that I am keeping a secret from HIM or anyone else is not GOD honoring, and therefore I must rid myself of it from my life. I must not be fooled by the lies of deception that Satan uses through the flesh. I must choose to be GOD honoring in every area of my life. I must tell myself NO, and say YES to GOD!
"But he said, “Blessed rather are those who hear the word of God and keep it!” Luke 11:28
LIE #7 ~ I'll know just when to stop.
HIS TRUTH! ~ I am weak without HIM! I can't break free from anything without HIM! I was created to do things on my own, I was created to be dependant on HIM.
"You are worthy, our Lord and God,to receive glory and honor and power, for you created all things,and by your will they were created and have their being.” Revelations 4:11
LIE #8 ~ After all I have been through I deserve this.
HIS TRUTH! ~ GOD doesn't want me to depend on anything but HIM! HE wants me to acknowledge HIM in every area of my life, and lean on HIM and seek HIS knowledge. HE wants me to follow HIM, and let HIM direct my path for my life. HE wants me to know that HIS plans for my life are far greater than anything I could imagine.
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6
" For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
LIE #9 ~ There is nothing wrong with this relationship. People just don't understand us.
HIS TRUTH! ~ any that is in secret is NOT from GOD! Anything that I am to be ashamed of someone finding out is NOT from GOD! Anything that keeps me in hiding is NOT from GOD. HE is the key to my prison, and HIS truth will set me free.
This is an area where I suffered in my childhood. I was told repeatedly growing up, "People wouldn't understand us, and I could go to jail, do you want me to go to jail?" I remember crying, and pleading to please stop hurting me, and to just be someone who loved me without all the other stuff. I remember every time I got a glimpse of how things should be, I would tell him, and he would quickly come up with a way to distort what I had learned. I know now that he lived and breathed the lies of deception that Satan had placed in his life. I am thankful as my loving FATHER has been revealing to me that HE was indeed there during my "darkest hours" showing me hope, and sending me a message that "help" was on the way. I am thankful that HE rescued me when HE did.
LIE #10 ~ Everyone thinks these kind of thoughts most of the time. I'm only human
HIS TRUTH! ~ while I may be human, it doesn't give me the right to be anything less than GOD honoring. HE has called me to be pure in my thoughts and to have a heart like HIS. I must seek HIM daily and ask HIM to create in me clean heart.
"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things." Philippians 4:8
LIE #11 ~ GOD may work for other people, but HE doesn't work for me.
HIS TRUTH! ~ I was made by HIM for HIM, and HE is in my life whether I realize it or not. I am learning that HE can, will, and does work for me, in me, and through me for HIS purpose.
"for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose." Philippians 2:13
LIE #12 ~ I'll just have to wait till Heaven to get over this. Real victory is impossible on earth.
HIS TRUTH! ~ NOTHING is impossible for HIM! HE can, will, and does bring me victory in my life when I seek HIM earnestly! HE will break me free from my strongholds when I allow HIM to transform and renew my mind. I know that by allowing HIM to renew my mind I will be more like HIM, and thus I will help HIM bring HIS kingdom of Heaven here to earth. This I believe is HIS purpose for my life, and yours. HE is seeking after us daily, and waiting for us to repent, and submit, so that HIS good works can be made through us, and HIS purpose will be fulfilled.
"Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship." Romans 12:1
" being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." Philippians 1:6
LIE #13 ~ GOD can't possibly fill the void in my life, I need something more.
HIS TRUTH! ~ HE is the only one who can fill the void in my life. HE is our creator, and without HIM we wouldn't even be here. I must allow HIM in every area of my life, so that I will be able to receive HIS blessings in my life. True peace and happiness can only come from HIM.
" Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." John 14:27
LIE #14 ~ I am to emotionally handicapped to ever be o.k.
HIS TRUTH! ~
"The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold." Psalm 18:2
The story of how I first heard this verse is very special to me, as GOD intervened in my life during prayer ministry training. Our leader told us to close our eyes, and wait for a vision, scripture, or a word to speak to the person that she chose for us to pray over. I was panicked as I didn't know how I would hear from HIM. Thankfully I didn't have to go first, but rather my partner did, and she read this very verse to me. At the time I didn't realize just what HE was saying to me, but I do now. HE knew I was about to go through some of my "darkest hours" of my life, and that within the next week I would learn that I would suffer another miscarriage. HE knew that my world would be shook upside down, and I would fall hard, and fast. HE knew and HE was sending HIS message for hope in my life. Sadly, I wouldn't be ready to receive it till almost two years later.
However, as cool as GOD is in my life, it is now my favorite Psalm, and is currently the picture on the blog. The picture is actually my bible, that my daughters and I took, and then edited it to have water running through HIS word. The blog picture is very special to me, as my thirst for HIm is unquenchable, and it is was keeps me seeking HIM daily.
LIE #15 ~ It's hopeless... I'm hopeless...
HIS TRUTH! ~ NOTHING is impossible for GOD. I know that because I have GOD in my life, I have hope. There is NOTHING to fear as HE is with me always. I know that in my sorrow and pain HE hold me. HE reminds me of this daily through songs, and memories of my journey with HIM.
The song "You Hold Me Now" by Hillsong United is one that I hold very near and dear to my heart. It is the song that I cling to whenever life's circumstances become all too much to bear. When I am feeling defeated, I sing this song, and I can feel HIM holding me, and catching every tear.
GOD is currently taking me down a path of revealing all of the lies that Satan has been telling me. HE is doing this so that I will have true freedom, and will be able to live the rest of my days with joy and peace in my heart. HIS Daily Teachings today was to uncover the lies of deception that I have allowed in my heart. Once again HE has brought me to my knees. HE has revealed things to me, I never even knew that I was being deceived about HE also revealed to me how at times I have been the one who has been deceiving.
In "Praying GOD'S Word" Beth Moore writes how to recognize the lies of deception in our lives. I was floored as I read the fifteen examples she wrote out. I not only recognized them in my life, but in other's as well. I am overwhelmed at how much I have allowed Satan's lies of deception in my life.
LIE #1 ~ I can never be victorious over this compulsion, I've had it too long
HIS TRUTH! ~ I can do anything through CHRIST as HE gives me the strength! Phil 4:13
LIE #2 ~ I can't help the mess I am in. I am caught. There's nothing I can do about it.
HIS TRUTH! ~ HE can, will, and does transform my heart, soul, and mind all I have to do is ask! I must repent of my sins, and HE will free me! I must seek HIM earnestly every single day!
"It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm,then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery." Galatians 5:1
LIE #3 ~ It may be a stronghold, but I really need it to get by.
HIS TRUTH! ~ CHRIST IS ENOUGH FOR ME! HE is all I need! HE can, will, and does meet all of my needs abundantly!
"And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:19
LIE #4 ~ I am absolutely worthless, I am a failure.
HIS TRUTH! ~ I am exactly the way HE intended. I am not a failure, I am a sinner, I must confess, and repent, and I will be forgiven.
"Since you are precious and honored in my sight,and because I love you, I will give people in exchange for you, nations in exchange for your life." Isaiah 43:4
LIE #5 ~ I'm in control here. This is not controlling me.
HIS TRUTH! ~ HE doesn't want me in control, as my ways are NOT HIS ways. HE wants me to let go... and let HIM teach, lead, and guide me through every single moment of my life. I can't overcome anything without HIM. HE is who will set me free from my strongholds.
Throughout my time with HIM this morning HE kept directing me back to the same scripture, and in my "need" to control, HE is letting me know that I am NOT in control and so I am sharing the scripture once again with you!
"It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm,then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery." Galatians 5:1
LIE #6 ~ This isn't doing me any harm. I can handle it.
HIS TRUTH! ~ HE has let me know that anything that I am keeping a secret from HIM or anyone else is not GOD honoring, and therefore I must rid myself of it from my life. I must not be fooled by the lies of deception that Satan uses through the flesh. I must choose to be GOD honoring in every area of my life. I must tell myself NO, and say YES to GOD!
"But he said, “Blessed rather are those who hear the word of God and keep it!” Luke 11:28
LIE #7 ~ I'll know just when to stop.
HIS TRUTH! ~ I am weak without HIM! I can't break free from anything without HIM! I was created to do things on my own, I was created to be dependant on HIM.
"You are worthy, our Lord and God,to receive glory and honor and power, for you created all things,and by your will they were created and have their being.” Revelations 4:11
LIE #8 ~ After all I have been through I deserve this.
HIS TRUTH! ~ GOD doesn't want me to depend on anything but HIM! HE wants me to acknowledge HIM in every area of my life, and lean on HIM and seek HIS knowledge. HE wants me to follow HIM, and let HIM direct my path for my life. HE wants me to know that HIS plans for my life are far greater than anything I could imagine.
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6
" For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
LIE #9 ~ There is nothing wrong with this relationship. People just don't understand us.
HIS TRUTH! ~ any that is in secret is NOT from GOD! Anything that I am to be ashamed of someone finding out is NOT from GOD! Anything that keeps me in hiding is NOT from GOD. HE is the key to my prison, and HIS truth will set me free.
This is an area where I suffered in my childhood. I was told repeatedly growing up, "People wouldn't understand us, and I could go to jail, do you want me to go to jail?" I remember crying, and pleading to please stop hurting me, and to just be someone who loved me without all the other stuff. I remember every time I got a glimpse of how things should be, I would tell him, and he would quickly come up with a way to distort what I had learned. I know now that he lived and breathed the lies of deception that Satan had placed in his life. I am thankful as my loving FATHER has been revealing to me that HE was indeed there during my "darkest hours" showing me hope, and sending me a message that "help" was on the way. I am thankful that HE rescued me when HE did.
LIE #10 ~ Everyone thinks these kind of thoughts most of the time. I'm only human
HIS TRUTH! ~ while I may be human, it doesn't give me the right to be anything less than GOD honoring. HE has called me to be pure in my thoughts and to have a heart like HIS. I must seek HIM daily and ask HIM to create in me clean heart.
"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things." Philippians 4:8
LIE #11 ~ GOD may work for other people, but HE doesn't work for me.
HIS TRUTH! ~ I was made by HIM for HIM, and HE is in my life whether I realize it or not. I am learning that HE can, will, and does work for me, in me, and through me for HIS purpose.
"for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose." Philippians 2:13
LIE #12 ~ I'll just have to wait till Heaven to get over this. Real victory is impossible on earth.
HIS TRUTH! ~ NOTHING is impossible for HIM! HE can, will, and does bring me victory in my life when I seek HIM earnestly! HE will break me free from my strongholds when I allow HIM to transform and renew my mind. I know that by allowing HIM to renew my mind I will be more like HIM, and thus I will help HIM bring HIS kingdom of Heaven here to earth. This I believe is HIS purpose for my life, and yours. HE is seeking after us daily, and waiting for us to repent, and submit, so that HIS good works can be made through us, and HIS purpose will be fulfilled.
"Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship." Romans 12:1
" being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." Philippians 1:6
LIE #13 ~ GOD can't possibly fill the void in my life, I need something more.
HIS TRUTH! ~ HE is the only one who can fill the void in my life. HE is our creator, and without HIM we wouldn't even be here. I must allow HIM in every area of my life, so that I will be able to receive HIS blessings in my life. True peace and happiness can only come from HIM.
" Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." John 14:27
LIE #14 ~ I am to emotionally handicapped to ever be o.k.
HIS TRUTH! ~
"The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold." Psalm 18:2
The story of how I first heard this verse is very special to me, as GOD intervened in my life during prayer ministry training. Our leader told us to close our eyes, and wait for a vision, scripture, or a word to speak to the person that she chose for us to pray over. I was panicked as I didn't know how I would hear from HIM. Thankfully I didn't have to go first, but rather my partner did, and she read this very verse to me. At the time I didn't realize just what HE was saying to me, but I do now. HE knew I was about to go through some of my "darkest hours" of my life, and that within the next week I would learn that I would suffer another miscarriage. HE knew that my world would be shook upside down, and I would fall hard, and fast. HE knew and HE was sending HIS message for hope in my life. Sadly, I wouldn't be ready to receive it till almost two years later.
However, as cool as GOD is in my life, it is now my favorite Psalm, and is currently the picture on the blog. The picture is actually my bible, that my daughters and I took, and then edited it to have water running through HIS word. The blog picture is very special to me, as my thirst for HIm is unquenchable, and it is was keeps me seeking HIM daily.
LIE #15 ~ It's hopeless... I'm hopeless...
HIS TRUTH! ~ NOTHING is impossible for GOD. I know that because I have GOD in my life, I have hope. There is NOTHING to fear as HE is with me always. I know that in my sorrow and pain HE hold me. HE reminds me of this daily through songs, and memories of my journey with HIM.
The song "You Hold Me Now" by Hillsong United is one that I hold very near and dear to my heart. It is the song that I cling to whenever life's circumstances become all too much to bear. When I am feeling defeated, I sing this song, and I can feel HIM holding me, and catching every tear.
Today I am feeling overwhelmed by how much HE has revealed to me about the lies of deception in my life. Today I am clinging to HIS words, and HIS promise's to me. Today I am meditating on what HIS word says about me, and what HIS plans are for me. Today I am seeking peace in HIM.
I pray today that you will seek HIM to show you the lies of deception in your own life. I pray today that you will allow HIM to renew and transform your heart. I pray today that you find peace in HIM.
Blessings,
Heather
I pray today that you will seek HIM to show you the lies of deception in your own life. I pray today that you will allow HIM to renew and transform your heart. I pray today that you find peace in HIM.
Blessings,
Heather
Wednesday, August 21, 2013
deceived by pride....
When I look back on the past ten years of my life as a CHRIST follower, I can't really recall a time where HE wasn't trying to humble me. If I am being totally honest, I am currently in a season of life where HE is working on me, and humbling me daily. Through HIS Daily Teachings, HE can, will, and does humble me daily, as I have a HUGE pride problem. Today I am admitting that pride is one of my toughest strongholds.
I know that GOD is always looking for ways to humble me. Today He revealed that if I am not letting HIM humble me, then I am heading down a dangerous path of self-destruction, and am allowing myself to be full of arrogance and self-righteousness. That very thought, scares me, as my testimony is filled with moments where my pride nearly destroyed me.
I have been deceived by pride, as I always "thought" I didn't have a pride problem, because I had low self-esteem. Today however, HE revealed this little gem to me: "pride is actually the opposite of humility." HE let me know that my low self-esteem has masked my pride problem, and if I didn't realize that, and allow HIM to set me free from that, I would eventually self-destruct once again.
GOD has let me know that my pride is the "welcome mat to my own prison" I know that in choosing to not allow HIM to humble me, I will remain bound in every area of my life that I don't allow HIM to humble me. HE has let me know that until I allow HIM to humble me, I won't be able to break-free from the stronghold of pride in my life.
GOD revealed to me this morning that just by reading the book "Praying GOD'S Word" I am admitting that I need HIS help. I am learning that just by reading this book I am inviting HIM into my life to humble me. In choosing to invite HIM in, I was saying, "I'm not too proud to say I need help."
Now as nice as it is to know that, I wish that were the case for every area of my life. Sadly that is NOT the case, and I mess up daily because of it. Beth Moore write's of her pride struggle and shares what GOD revealed to her. Today GOD broke it down for me, piece by piece, and showed me just how much I had let pride sink into my heart, and my thoughts.
"My name is pride, I am a cheater. I cheat you of your GOD given destiny.... because you demand your own way. ~ How many times I can look back on my life, and see where I missed out, because I chose to do things "my way" instead of "HIS way." How many times I must have insulted HIM in saying, "Sorry GOD I don't trust YOU, I'm looking out for me!" That very thought..... makes me cringe.... makes me cry, and repent, and say, "I'm sorry JESUS, please forgive me... I need YOU every hour of every minute, of every second, of every single moment of my life."
"I cheat you of contentment.... because you deserve better than this." ~ This really hit home to me this morning, as I am always thinking that either myself, or someone close to me deserves better, or more. What I fail to realize is that maybe the situation I am in, is to prepare me for the greater blessing. I am learning that I won't be able to truly appreciate HIS blessings in my life, until I allow HIM to humble me. LORD JESUS create in my a content heart. Teach me LORD to trust in YOUR ways for my life."
"I cheat you of knowledge.... because you already know it all." ~ Okay, so I am am completely red-faced at the thought of this one, because clearly as you have read, I do NOT know it all, and if I ever act like I am, well I am so deeply sorry. I don't know anything without HIM. I don't know how to get through my day without HIM. The ugly truth is without HIS knowledge in my life, I am a bitter, stressed out, angry, unloving, selfish, self-absorbed, shameful, prideful person. This includes my life as a wife, mama, daughter, sister, friend, companion, the list goes on and on. I am a hateful person without HIS knowledge. This very revelation to me has brought me to my knees.... LORD JESUS I need YOU!!! I need YOU to fill me with YOUR knowledge and YOUR ways. I need YOU to create in me a humbled servant's heart, one that is open to YOUR teachings every single day. LORD please help me to keep my eyes focused on YOU, and off of me, myself, and I.
"I cheat you of healing... because your too full of me to forgive." ~ Through the tests of forgiveness in my life, I have learned that HE won't be able to truly heal me until, I let go of the incessant need for justice in my life. I have learned that forgiveness isn't saying that what a person did to hurt me was okay, rather it is freeing me from the hurt in my heart, and healing me from their hurts. I once read that "hurting people, are the ones who hurt people." LORD JESUS help me to discern when someone is hurting. Teach me to be quick to forgive, and quick to love, just as YOU love. Teach me to know that YOUR timing and provision are perfect, and YOUR justice is perfect. Teach me LORD to stay on the path that YOU have chosen for me, and humble me when I "think" I am above forgiveness when someone has wronged me.
"I cheat you of holiness.... because you refuse to admit when you are wrong." ~ Wow, this was so written for me! How many times I have refused to say I am wrong about something, because I felt tired of always being the one who takes the "first steps." What HE has revealed to me today is that I should be honored that HIS SPIRIT is in me, and leading me to take the "first steps." I am learning that it is because of my faith that I am opening myself up to great blessing through my obedience. I must choose to admit when I am wrong. LORD JESUS create in me a humbled servant's heart. A heart that doesn't point out the blame in other's lives, but rather one who is humbled at the very word YOU speak to me of admitting I am wrong. Help me not to question YOU LORD. Create in me an ear like Samuel's ear LORD, one who is quick to answer YOUR call, and to obey THEE first of all!
"I cheat you of vision... because you'd rather look in the mirror than out a window." ~ LORD JESUS give me YOUR eyes so I can see everything that I have been missing in my life. LORD give me YOUR eyes, so that I may see the world as YOU see it. LORD JESUS create in my a desire to follow YOU and YOUR ways all the days of my life.
"I cheat you of genuine friendship.... because nobody's going to know the real you." ~ The people who know the "real" me know that I am not perfect. I don't ever claim to be perfect, and know that I mess up on a daily basis. I think that is why HIS Daily Teachings have become to crucial in my daily walk with HIM. I made a decision a while ago that the friendships that I would have in my life would be intentional. I made the decision that the people I would allow in my inner circle, would know and see the real me. What's ironic to me, is that I have always been a pretty private person, and not wanting to share my faults, and failure's however GOD'S sense of humor is humbling me as we speak, as each day HIS Daily Teachings is asking me to be transparent. HE has shown this to me, through many letters, and messages from so many of the blogs readers of how much they appreciate my openness in sharing what has happened in my life, and how candid I am in my writings.
"I cheat you of love.... because real romance demands sacrifice." ~ I am beyond blessed to be married to my best friend for almost 15 years now. I am thankful that GOD started our "love story" 18 years ago, when we were both so young and naive. I am so thankful that GOD has created a desire in both of our hearts, to live each day as a chance to bless one another. I am thankful that just as I would do whatever I could to support D in HIS walk, he will do the same for me. I am thankful that instead of throwing in the towel when things got tough, and boy did they ever, we stuck it out together. We dug deep into our faith, and held onto the anchor in our marriage. We turned to HIM, and allowed HIM to transform and renew our hearts. I am thankful that each day we keep JESUS at the center of our marriage. I am thankful that everyday we are given the chance to be humbled in finding new ways to honor and love each other.
"I cheat you of greatness in heaven.... because you refuse to wash another's feet on earth." ~ I love serving at my church, but that wasn't always the case. I used to "think" that I didn't need to serve, as I was a very needy person. I lived my life as though, "I have been hurt, and therefore people should feel sorry for me, and I deserve the star treatment, as I am awesome to have endured what I did, and lived to tell about it. Ouch, just writing that makes me cringe.... I can't even begin to tell you just how much HE has humbled me in my thinking. I can't begin to tell you the journey I took with HIM, and am currently still on in HIM humbling me, and let me know it's not about me, and my neediness. HE is revealing to me every day that it is about sharing HIS word, love, hope, grace, and forgiveness. It is all about HIM, and has nothing to do with me. I am thankful that I serve at a church where one of our sayings is, "There is no "I" chair at Elevate Church." I am so thankful for HIS daily teachings to remind me that it's not about me, it's all about HIM.
"I cheat you of GOD'S glory.... because I convince you to seek your own." ~ I will admit that there were a few days where I wrote this blog simply because I enjoyed the feeling of being liked. However, HE quickly revealed to me, and brought me to my knees and humbled me that it is all for HIS glory and NOT mine. HE has let me know that any time I start to get full of myself, HE can, will, and does humble me! LORD JESUS, help me to stay focused on what YOU call me to do. Help me to stay out of YOUR way, and get my eyes, and mind focused on what YOU are teaching me everyday. LORD JESUS thank YOU for choosing me to share YOUR word daily. Thank you for filling me with YOUR HOLY SPIRIT and for giving me YOUR words to say.
"My name is pride, I am a cheater, You like me because you think I'm always looking out for you. Untrue"
"I am looking to make a fool of you"
"GOD has so much for you, I admit, but don't worry..... If you stick with me you'll never know." ~ Oh LORD JESUS I want to know all of YOU, I want to know everything about YOU. I want to live my life in a way that is good, pleasing, and honoring to YOU! I need YOU LORD to teach, lead, and guide me every single moment of my day.
" I will break down your stubborn pride and make the sky above you like iron and the ground beneath you like bronze." Leviticus 26:19
I must continue to seek HIM earnestly every day so that I will learn to respect HIS word.
"Who is it you have ridiculed and blasphemed? Against whom have you raised your voice and lifted your eyes in pride? Against the Holy One of Israel!" 2 Kings 19:22
I must allow HIM to humble me, and break me free from the pride in my life. I must choose to not let myself be deceived by pride, and allow my pride to be my downfall.
I know that GOD is always looking for ways to humble me. Today He revealed that if I am not letting HIM humble me, then I am heading down a dangerous path of self-destruction, and am allowing myself to be full of arrogance and self-righteousness. That very thought, scares me, as my testimony is filled with moments where my pride nearly destroyed me.
I have been deceived by pride, as I always "thought" I didn't have a pride problem, because I had low self-esteem. Today however, HE revealed this little gem to me: "pride is actually the opposite of humility." HE let me know that my low self-esteem has masked my pride problem, and if I didn't realize that, and allow HIM to set me free from that, I would eventually self-destruct once again.
GOD has let me know that my pride is the "welcome mat to my own prison" I know that in choosing to not allow HIM to humble me, I will remain bound in every area of my life that I don't allow HIM to humble me. HE has let me know that until I allow HIM to humble me, I won't be able to break-free from the stronghold of pride in my life.
GOD revealed to me this morning that just by reading the book "Praying GOD'S Word" I am admitting that I need HIS help. I am learning that just by reading this book I am inviting HIM into my life to humble me. In choosing to invite HIM in, I was saying, "I'm not too proud to say I need help."
Now as nice as it is to know that, I wish that were the case for every area of my life. Sadly that is NOT the case, and I mess up daily because of it. Beth Moore write's of her pride struggle and shares what GOD revealed to her. Today GOD broke it down for me, piece by piece, and showed me just how much I had let pride sink into my heart, and my thoughts.
"My name is pride, I am a cheater. I cheat you of your GOD given destiny.... because you demand your own way. ~ How many times I can look back on my life, and see where I missed out, because I chose to do things "my way" instead of "HIS way." How many times I must have insulted HIM in saying, "Sorry GOD I don't trust YOU, I'm looking out for me!" That very thought..... makes me cringe.... makes me cry, and repent, and say, "I'm sorry JESUS, please forgive me... I need YOU every hour of every minute, of every second, of every single moment of my life."
"I cheat you of contentment.... because you deserve better than this." ~ This really hit home to me this morning, as I am always thinking that either myself, or someone close to me deserves better, or more. What I fail to realize is that maybe the situation I am in, is to prepare me for the greater blessing. I am learning that I won't be able to truly appreciate HIS blessings in my life, until I allow HIM to humble me. LORD JESUS create in my a content heart. Teach me LORD to trust in YOUR ways for my life."
"I cheat you of knowledge.... because you already know it all." ~ Okay, so I am am completely red-faced at the thought of this one, because clearly as you have read, I do NOT know it all, and if I ever act like I am, well I am so deeply sorry. I don't know anything without HIM. I don't know how to get through my day without HIM. The ugly truth is without HIS knowledge in my life, I am a bitter, stressed out, angry, unloving, selfish, self-absorbed, shameful, prideful person. This includes my life as a wife, mama, daughter, sister, friend, companion, the list goes on and on. I am a hateful person without HIS knowledge. This very revelation to me has brought me to my knees.... LORD JESUS I need YOU!!! I need YOU to fill me with YOUR knowledge and YOUR ways. I need YOU to create in me a humbled servant's heart, one that is open to YOUR teachings every single day. LORD please help me to keep my eyes focused on YOU, and off of me, myself, and I.
"I cheat you of healing... because your too full of me to forgive." ~ Through the tests of forgiveness in my life, I have learned that HE won't be able to truly heal me until, I let go of the incessant need for justice in my life. I have learned that forgiveness isn't saying that what a person did to hurt me was okay, rather it is freeing me from the hurt in my heart, and healing me from their hurts. I once read that "hurting people, are the ones who hurt people." LORD JESUS help me to discern when someone is hurting. Teach me to be quick to forgive, and quick to love, just as YOU love. Teach me to know that YOUR timing and provision are perfect, and YOUR justice is perfect. Teach me LORD to stay on the path that YOU have chosen for me, and humble me when I "think" I am above forgiveness when someone has wronged me.
"I cheat you of holiness.... because you refuse to admit when you are wrong." ~ Wow, this was so written for me! How many times I have refused to say I am wrong about something, because I felt tired of always being the one who takes the "first steps." What HE has revealed to me today is that I should be honored that HIS SPIRIT is in me, and leading me to take the "first steps." I am learning that it is because of my faith that I am opening myself up to great blessing through my obedience. I must choose to admit when I am wrong. LORD JESUS create in me a humbled servant's heart. A heart that doesn't point out the blame in other's lives, but rather one who is humbled at the very word YOU speak to me of admitting I am wrong. Help me not to question YOU LORD. Create in me an ear like Samuel's ear LORD, one who is quick to answer YOUR call, and to obey THEE first of all!
"I cheat you of vision... because you'd rather look in the mirror than out a window." ~ LORD JESUS give me YOUR eyes so I can see everything that I have been missing in my life. LORD give me YOUR eyes, so that I may see the world as YOU see it. LORD JESUS create in my a desire to follow YOU and YOUR ways all the days of my life.
"I cheat you of genuine friendship.... because nobody's going to know the real you." ~ The people who know the "real" me know that I am not perfect. I don't ever claim to be perfect, and know that I mess up on a daily basis. I think that is why HIS Daily Teachings have become to crucial in my daily walk with HIM. I made a decision a while ago that the friendships that I would have in my life would be intentional. I made the decision that the people I would allow in my inner circle, would know and see the real me. What's ironic to me, is that I have always been a pretty private person, and not wanting to share my faults, and failure's however GOD'S sense of humor is humbling me as we speak, as each day HIS Daily Teachings is asking me to be transparent. HE has shown this to me, through many letters, and messages from so many of the blogs readers of how much they appreciate my openness in sharing what has happened in my life, and how candid I am in my writings.
"I cheat you of love.... because real romance demands sacrifice." ~ I am beyond blessed to be married to my best friend for almost 15 years now. I am thankful that GOD started our "love story" 18 years ago, when we were both so young and naive. I am so thankful that GOD has created a desire in both of our hearts, to live each day as a chance to bless one another. I am thankful that just as I would do whatever I could to support D in HIS walk, he will do the same for me. I am thankful that instead of throwing in the towel when things got tough, and boy did they ever, we stuck it out together. We dug deep into our faith, and held onto the anchor in our marriage. We turned to HIM, and allowed HIM to transform and renew our hearts. I am thankful that each day we keep JESUS at the center of our marriage. I am thankful that everyday we are given the chance to be humbled in finding new ways to honor and love each other.
"I cheat you of greatness in heaven.... because you refuse to wash another's feet on earth." ~ I love serving at my church, but that wasn't always the case. I used to "think" that I didn't need to serve, as I was a very needy person. I lived my life as though, "I have been hurt, and therefore people should feel sorry for me, and I deserve the star treatment, as I am awesome to have endured what I did, and lived to tell about it. Ouch, just writing that makes me cringe.... I can't even begin to tell you just how much HE has humbled me in my thinking. I can't begin to tell you the journey I took with HIM, and am currently still on in HIM humbling me, and let me know it's not about me, and my neediness. HE is revealing to me every day that it is about sharing HIS word, love, hope, grace, and forgiveness. It is all about HIM, and has nothing to do with me. I am thankful that I serve at a church where one of our sayings is, "There is no "I" chair at Elevate Church." I am so thankful for HIS daily teachings to remind me that it's not about me, it's all about HIM.
"I cheat you of GOD'S glory.... because I convince you to seek your own." ~ I will admit that there were a few days where I wrote this blog simply because I enjoyed the feeling of being liked. However, HE quickly revealed to me, and brought me to my knees and humbled me that it is all for HIS glory and NOT mine. HE has let me know that any time I start to get full of myself, HE can, will, and does humble me! LORD JESUS, help me to stay focused on what YOU call me to do. Help me to stay out of YOUR way, and get my eyes, and mind focused on what YOU are teaching me everyday. LORD JESUS thank YOU for choosing me to share YOUR word daily. Thank you for filling me with YOUR HOLY SPIRIT and for giving me YOUR words to say.
"My name is pride, I am a cheater, You like me because you think I'm always looking out for you. Untrue"
"I am looking to make a fool of you"
"GOD has so much for you, I admit, but don't worry..... If you stick with me you'll never know." ~ Oh LORD JESUS I want to know all of YOU, I want to know everything about YOU. I want to live my life in a way that is good, pleasing, and honoring to YOU! I need YOU LORD to teach, lead, and guide me every single moment of my day.
" I will break down your stubborn pride and make the sky above you like iron and the ground beneath you like bronze." Leviticus 26:19
I must continue to seek HIM earnestly every day so that I will learn to respect HIS word.
"Who is it you have ridiculed and blasphemed? Against whom have you raised your voice and lifted your eyes in pride? Against the Holy One of Israel!" 2 Kings 19:22
I must allow HIM to humble me, and break me free from the pride in my life. I must choose to not let myself be deceived by pride, and allow my pride to be my downfall.
"But after Uzziah became powerful, his pride led to his downfall. He was unfaithful to the Lord his God, and entered the temple of the Lord to burn incense on the altar of incense." 2 Chronicles 26:16
I know that HE will forgive me when I repent of the pride that has taken residence in my heart. I know that in choosing to repent I will no longer be deceived by my pride. HE can, will, and does open up my eyes and heart to see things the way HE intended for me to see them.
" Then Hezekiah repented of the pride of his heart, as did the people of Jerusalem; therefore the Lord’s wrath did not come on them during the days of Hezekiah." 2 Chronicles 32:26
I know that there is NO room in my thoughts for pride. I must align my thoughts to HIS so that HE can lead me down the path that HE has chosen for my journey towards wholeness. I must admit that I need HIM, always, every single moment of my day.
"In his pride the wicked man does not seek him;in all his thoughts there is no room for God." Psalm 10:4
I have a tendency to fly off the handle when I full of pride, and I hurt people who come across my path. Therefore, I must choose to be humbled, and not let myself be deceived by pride.
"Therefore pride is their necklace; they clothe themselves with violence." Psalm 73:6
I must allow HIM to create in me a healthy fear of HIM. One that abolishes my pride and arrogance.
To fear the Lord is to hate evil; I hate pride and arrogance, evil behavior and perverse speech." Proverbs 8:13
"When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom." Psalm 11:2
I am learning that it is crucial for me to let go of my incessant need to be right, and not argue with people. I am learning that the only thing arguing does for me is create disgrace in HIS eyes. In choosing NOT to be humbled, I am distancing myself from HIM, and I am allowing myself once again to be deceived by pride.
" Then Hezekiah repented of the pride of his heart, as did the people of Jerusalem; therefore the Lord’s wrath did not come on them during the days of Hezekiah." 2 Chronicles 32:26
I know that there is NO room in my thoughts for pride. I must align my thoughts to HIS so that HE can lead me down the path that HE has chosen for my journey towards wholeness. I must admit that I need HIM, always, every single moment of my day.
"In his pride the wicked man does not seek him;in all his thoughts there is no room for God." Psalm 10:4
I have a tendency to fly off the handle when I full of pride, and I hurt people who come across my path. Therefore, I must choose to be humbled, and not let myself be deceived by pride.
"Therefore pride is their necklace; they clothe themselves with violence." Psalm 73:6
I must allow HIM to create in me a healthy fear of HIM. One that abolishes my pride and arrogance.
To fear the Lord is to hate evil; I hate pride and arrogance, evil behavior and perverse speech." Proverbs 8:13
"When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom." Psalm 11:2
I am learning that it is crucial for me to let go of my incessant need to be right, and not argue with people. I am learning that the only thing arguing does for me is create disgrace in HIS eyes. In choosing NOT to be humbled, I am distancing myself from HIM, and I am allowing myself once again to be deceived by pride.
"Where there is strife, there is pride, but wisdom is found in those who take advice." Proverbs 13:10
I want to be a person who gains honor in HIS sight. Therefore I must allow HIM to humble in every area of my life that I need to be humbled.
"Pride brings a person low, but the lowly in spirit gain honor." Proverbs 29:23
I am learning the hard way that it is much better to be patient and wait on HIS timing and provision that it is to be trapped because I was deceived by pride.
The end of a matter is better than its beginning,and patience is better than pride." Ecclesiastes 7:8
I don't want the pride in my heart to deceive me anymore, nor do I want it to deceive my Heavenly Father. I do NOT want to be the receiver of HIS wrath. I do not want to be punished. I want to live a life that is HOLY, pleasing, and honoring to HIM. I must choose to be HOLY SPIRIT lead and NOT let myself be fooled another moment. I must choose to be thankful that HE seeks me daily to humble me where I need to be. Today I am thankful that HE has brought me to my knees once again and opened up my heart and mind to HIS Daily Teachings.
"The terror you inspire and the pride of your heart have deceived you,you who live in the clefts of the rocks,who occupy the heights of the hill. Though you build your nest as high as the eagle’s,from there I will you down,"declares the Lord." Jeremiah 49:16
Today I am thankful that HIS ways are just, and I know that when I am prideful HE can, will, and does humble me. HE humbles me because HE loves me way too much to see me be lead astray. HE loves me enough to go to the ends of the earth to rescue me time and again. I am thankful that my FATHER loves me so much that HE will intervene every single moment of my life to be sure that I am walking down the path HE has chosen for me on my journey towards wholeness. I am thankful that one day I will reach the end of that journey, and I will be made whole, and I will not want, nor need for anything ever again.
"Now I, Nebuchadnezzar, praise and exalt and glorify the King of heaven, because everything he does is right and all his ways are just. And those who walk in pride he is able to humble." Daniel 4:37
I pray today that you will seek HIM earnestly and let HIM reveal to you how you are being deceived by pride. I pray today that your eye's and heart will be open to HIS Daily Teachings, and that you will allow HIM to transform and renew your heart. I pray today that you will follow HIS path for your life, and will allow HIM to humble you so that you may live with true peace and joy in your heart. A peace that surpasses anything of this world.
Blessings,
Heather
I pray today that you will seek HIM earnestly and let HIM reveal to you how you are being deceived by pride. I pray today that your eye's and heart will be open to HIS Daily Teachings, and that you will allow HIM to transform and renew your heart. I pray today that you will follow HIS path for your life, and will allow HIM to humble you so that you may live with true peace and joy in your heart. A peace that surpasses anything of this world.
Blessings,
Heather
Tuesday, August 20, 2013
my hearts cry....
When I was a little girl, I was very lonely, and I didn't really have any friends. In fact in the very rare moments where I did manage to make a friend, I wasn't allow to keep them. I would go home to my grandparents house, and I would share the wonderful news that I have indeed made a new friend. I remember being so elated that I was finally being accepted, and that someone actually wanted to be seen with me. As quickly as the joy was brought to my heart, it was quickly taken away from me. It was because of the lies and manipulation that I suffered through my childhood that I was never allowed to have any real "close" friends. It was because of that suffering that I learned to distrust anyone and everyone that came into my life.
That distrust in people stayed with me almost the entire way through my high school years, that is until I met D. He was different, as for the 1st time in my life I "felt" safe enough to be myself. I should say "myself" as even I didn't realize how badly I had been hurt. It would be years later through intense therapy that everything would be revealed as to who "myself" really is.
When D and I first started dating, he would pick me up at my house, and we would just drive for hours, talking, laughing, just getting to know one another. He was my first true friend, one of whom I shared some of my fears with, and who I felt I could really trust. We dated for two short months, and then I left my parents home to live with my birth mother for the summer. I was crushed as the timing for everything was just so horrible.
Little did I know GOD had much bigger and better plans for me. I now know that GOD knew my hearts cry at that season in my life was to meet and get to know my birth mother. When people started finding out that I was leaving to go meet her, there was a sadness in their eyes, of which I wouldn't fully understand until much later that summer. GOD however knew, and understood and had allowed me to go through that storm in my life, and little did I know how much HE was setting up the biggest stepping stone that would bring me to HIM!
On the morning I was leaving, D showed up at my house early to sit with me, cry with me, and hold me. Up until that moment we hadn't even had our first kiss, as I didn't want there to be any reason for me to stay and not fulfill the longing I had to meet my birth mother. I remember him giving me a rose, and hugging him so tightly and him making me promise that I would come back to him. I was crushed, "why now, why now do I find a really great guy who is the sweetest, most gentle, kind, and loving person I have ever met?"
Within my first month at my birth mother's home is was very apparent to me that she was NOT ready for children, and her new husband most certainly wasn't either. Nor was she ready to own her part of my horrible upbringing, and the abuse that I suffered because of her. She was everything that I was trying so desperately to escape back "home." Only worse, as neither one of them really loved me, as they couldn't because I didn't trust them, and didn't let them come close to me.
For the next month D and I planned on him driving out to pick me up. Unfortunately one week before he was to leave to come pick me up he let a friend borrow his car. That friend ended up wrecking D's car, and it was in the shop when he was to be leaving to come and rescue me. However, my step father took pity on me, and bought me a plan ticket back. I was elated as my hearts cry then became, let me live with D, where I will feel safe.
On our first morning at "home" together I shared with D my problems at home, vaguely sharing what had happened at my grandparents house. D responded in a way that no one had ever before in my sharing my story with him. I remember his tears, and him holding me so tightly and vowing in his young 18 year old heart that he would never let anyone hurt me ever again.
During the next six years of our relationship we got married, and had our first two children. We were young, naive, and "thought" we could do anything. However, as you know in my story where this goes, my "darkest hours" were upon me, and it was quickly tarnishing our marriage. D and I were hanging on by a thread when GOD saved the both of us.
For the next ten years, my hearts cry changed from being a mother again, to reconciling with my parents, my family, and forgiving friends who had hurt me. It was filled with desire to know and walk with the LORD more closely, and to be able to be a blessing to others.
Ninety-five days ago, my hearts cry was LORD I need you to be at the Center of my world. I need you to teach, lead, and guide me every step of my journey. I need you to be my strength in my weakness, and I need you to help me to be the wife, mama, daughter, sister, friend, and most of all CHRIST follower that you have called me to be. My hearts cry was LORD, reveal to me YOUR purpose for my life.
What I didn't realize is that in praying that prayer, HE was ready, and HE was ready to make sure that I was going to go BIG in my faith. That is when HE began to renew and refine my heart. That is when HE called me to give up myself, and pick up my cross and follow HIM. That was the moment when I realized that it was all for HIM, and had nothing to do with me.
This morning during HIS Daily Teachings HE helped me put into words my hearts cry for this season of my life. "LORD in Heaven in every faith walk I encounter keep working with me until YOU can victoriously boast, "You believe at last!" John 16:31
In reading Beth Moore's prayer this morning, I was so thankful to realize what my heart's cry was. I know that in order for my heart's cry to be fulfilled I must stand firm in my faith and not waiver in my faith during the storms of my life.
"Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings." 1 Peter 5:8-9
I am learning that my faith is crucial if I am to overcome the ways of this world and be in it, and NOT of it!
"for everyone born of God overcomes the world. This is the victory that has overcome the world, even our faith. Who is it that overcomes the world? Only the one who believes that Jesus is the Son of God." 1 John 5:4-5
I know that because of my faith I am to seek HIM earnestly and allow HIM to do HIS good works through me. I must have a heart for serving, as that is what HE has called me to do. That is HIS purpose for my life, to serve others.
"You see that his faith and his actions were working together, and his faith was made complete by what he did." James 2:22
I know that everything that I am given is because of my faith in HIM.
Listen, my dear brothers and sisters: Has not God chosen those who are poor in the eyes of the world to be rich in faith and to inherit the kingdom he promised those who love him?" James 2:5
Just this past weekend D and I were floored by this very thing. On Saturday morning we received a text message from a wonderful family who wanted us to know that GOD had asked them to gift there 2003 FORD Excursion to us. D and I were floored, and as our pride set in, we "tried" to see if we could afford to pay them. However, GOD had a miracle that HE was performing, and there was NO room for our pride. So later that evening we met up with the wife, and she said, "tomorrow I will drop it off with the title, and keys, and its yours." D and I have been blown away by HIS faithfulness to us, and HIS love, and unending grace for us, even in the midst of trying to ruin HIS miracle. We are so thankful that HE loves us so much, and that HE blesses us for our obedience. Though I hadn't share my prayer with anyone, I had been praying circles around the desire for a larger family vehicle.
Which I guess takes me to another one of my hearts cry. Last fall my daughters started inviting a lot of their friends to church. However, we only had a 7 passenger van, and even when half of our family stayed home, we still had to turn children away. Sadly, week after week we were forced to pick and choose who could come to church with us. As winter approached and our van broke down two weeks before Christmas I became crushed in spirit that we weren't even going to be able to take our own family to church. Thankfully in my little faith, GOD had BIG plans. Not only did HE fix our van, HE place an amazing book into my hands at the first of the year. At the same time HE asked D and I to step out of our "comfort zone" and lead a small group, HE placed into my hands the book "The Circle Maker" by Mark Batterson. It was through this book that received the courage to ask BIG of GOD. So I began to pray, LORD JESUS it is my hearts cry for us to have a bigger vehicle so that we can take as many kids to church that are wanting to go. It is my hearts cry that we never have to turn anyone away ever again.
In praying for the past eight months circles around my hearts cry, GOD has proven HIMSELF once again, as HUGE and faithful, and loving, and just A-MAZ-ING!!!
Today my hearts cry is for those who don't know JESUS that they will see HIM through me. That GOD will continue to use me BIG, and ask BIG of me. That my faith in HIM will know NO bounds, and will continue to flourish through the storms of my life. It is my hearts cry that I will truly be a contagious Christian, and not one that is pushy, and demanding, but rather loving, and forgiving. A Christian who extends grace to the less than honoring, but to show radical love, to love them just like JESUS.
I pray today that you will reveal your hearts cry to the one who loves and knows you best. I pray today that you will stand firm in your faith that HE will answer your hearts cry. I pray today that you know that you were chosen specifically for the life that you are in. I pray today for you to be filled with HIS peace and joy through your faith in HIM.
Blessings,
Heather
That distrust in people stayed with me almost the entire way through my high school years, that is until I met D. He was different, as for the 1st time in my life I "felt" safe enough to be myself. I should say "myself" as even I didn't realize how badly I had been hurt. It would be years later through intense therapy that everything would be revealed as to who "myself" really is.
When D and I first started dating, he would pick me up at my house, and we would just drive for hours, talking, laughing, just getting to know one another. He was my first true friend, one of whom I shared some of my fears with, and who I felt I could really trust. We dated for two short months, and then I left my parents home to live with my birth mother for the summer. I was crushed as the timing for everything was just so horrible.
Little did I know GOD had much bigger and better plans for me. I now know that GOD knew my hearts cry at that season in my life was to meet and get to know my birth mother. When people started finding out that I was leaving to go meet her, there was a sadness in their eyes, of which I wouldn't fully understand until much later that summer. GOD however knew, and understood and had allowed me to go through that storm in my life, and little did I know how much HE was setting up the biggest stepping stone that would bring me to HIM!
On the morning I was leaving, D showed up at my house early to sit with me, cry with me, and hold me. Up until that moment we hadn't even had our first kiss, as I didn't want there to be any reason for me to stay and not fulfill the longing I had to meet my birth mother. I remember him giving me a rose, and hugging him so tightly and him making me promise that I would come back to him. I was crushed, "why now, why now do I find a really great guy who is the sweetest, most gentle, kind, and loving person I have ever met?"
Within my first month at my birth mother's home is was very apparent to me that she was NOT ready for children, and her new husband most certainly wasn't either. Nor was she ready to own her part of my horrible upbringing, and the abuse that I suffered because of her. She was everything that I was trying so desperately to escape back "home." Only worse, as neither one of them really loved me, as they couldn't because I didn't trust them, and didn't let them come close to me.
For the next month D and I planned on him driving out to pick me up. Unfortunately one week before he was to leave to come pick me up he let a friend borrow his car. That friend ended up wrecking D's car, and it was in the shop when he was to be leaving to come and rescue me. However, my step father took pity on me, and bought me a plan ticket back. I was elated as my hearts cry then became, let me live with D, where I will feel safe.
On our first morning at "home" together I shared with D my problems at home, vaguely sharing what had happened at my grandparents house. D responded in a way that no one had ever before in my sharing my story with him. I remember his tears, and him holding me so tightly and vowing in his young 18 year old heart that he would never let anyone hurt me ever again.
During the next six years of our relationship we got married, and had our first two children. We were young, naive, and "thought" we could do anything. However, as you know in my story where this goes, my "darkest hours" were upon me, and it was quickly tarnishing our marriage. D and I were hanging on by a thread when GOD saved the both of us.
For the next ten years, my hearts cry changed from being a mother again, to reconciling with my parents, my family, and forgiving friends who had hurt me. It was filled with desire to know and walk with the LORD more closely, and to be able to be a blessing to others.
Ninety-five days ago, my hearts cry was LORD I need you to be at the Center of my world. I need you to teach, lead, and guide me every step of my journey. I need you to be my strength in my weakness, and I need you to help me to be the wife, mama, daughter, sister, friend, and most of all CHRIST follower that you have called me to be. My hearts cry was LORD, reveal to me YOUR purpose for my life.
What I didn't realize is that in praying that prayer, HE was ready, and HE was ready to make sure that I was going to go BIG in my faith. That is when HE began to renew and refine my heart. That is when HE called me to give up myself, and pick up my cross and follow HIM. That was the moment when I realized that it was all for HIM, and had nothing to do with me.
This morning during HIS Daily Teachings HE helped me put into words my hearts cry for this season of my life. "LORD in Heaven in every faith walk I encounter keep working with me until YOU can victoriously boast, "You believe at last!" John 16:31
In reading Beth Moore's prayer this morning, I was so thankful to realize what my heart's cry was. I know that in order for my heart's cry to be fulfilled I must stand firm in my faith and not waiver in my faith during the storms of my life.
"Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings." 1 Peter 5:8-9
I am learning that my faith is crucial if I am to overcome the ways of this world and be in it, and NOT of it!
"for everyone born of God overcomes the world. This is the victory that has overcome the world, even our faith. Who is it that overcomes the world? Only the one who believes that Jesus is the Son of God." 1 John 5:4-5
I know that because of my faith I am to seek HIM earnestly and allow HIM to do HIS good works through me. I must have a heart for serving, as that is what HE has called me to do. That is HIS purpose for my life, to serve others.
"You see that his faith and his actions were working together, and his faith was made complete by what he did." James 2:22
I know that everything that I am given is because of my faith in HIM.
Listen, my dear brothers and sisters: Has not God chosen those who are poor in the eyes of the world to be rich in faith and to inherit the kingdom he promised those who love him?" James 2:5
Just this past weekend D and I were floored by this very thing. On Saturday morning we received a text message from a wonderful family who wanted us to know that GOD had asked them to gift there 2003 FORD Excursion to us. D and I were floored, and as our pride set in, we "tried" to see if we could afford to pay them. However, GOD had a miracle that HE was performing, and there was NO room for our pride. So later that evening we met up with the wife, and she said, "tomorrow I will drop it off with the title, and keys, and its yours." D and I have been blown away by HIS faithfulness to us, and HIS love, and unending grace for us, even in the midst of trying to ruin HIS miracle. We are so thankful that HE loves us so much, and that HE blesses us for our obedience. Though I hadn't share my prayer with anyone, I had been praying circles around the desire for a larger family vehicle.
Which I guess takes me to another one of my hearts cry. Last fall my daughters started inviting a lot of their friends to church. However, we only had a 7 passenger van, and even when half of our family stayed home, we still had to turn children away. Sadly, week after week we were forced to pick and choose who could come to church with us. As winter approached and our van broke down two weeks before Christmas I became crushed in spirit that we weren't even going to be able to take our own family to church. Thankfully in my little faith, GOD had BIG plans. Not only did HE fix our van, HE place an amazing book into my hands at the first of the year. At the same time HE asked D and I to step out of our "comfort zone" and lead a small group, HE placed into my hands the book "The Circle Maker" by Mark Batterson. It was through this book that received the courage to ask BIG of GOD. So I began to pray, LORD JESUS it is my hearts cry for us to have a bigger vehicle so that we can take as many kids to church that are wanting to go. It is my hearts cry that we never have to turn anyone away ever again.
In praying for the past eight months circles around my hearts cry, GOD has proven HIMSELF once again, as HUGE and faithful, and loving, and just A-MAZ-ING!!!
Today my hearts cry is for those who don't know JESUS that they will see HIM through me. That GOD will continue to use me BIG, and ask BIG of me. That my faith in HIM will know NO bounds, and will continue to flourish through the storms of my life. It is my hearts cry that I will truly be a contagious Christian, and not one that is pushy, and demanding, but rather loving, and forgiving. A Christian who extends grace to the less than honoring, but to show radical love, to love them just like JESUS.
I pray today that you will reveal your hearts cry to the one who loves and knows you best. I pray today that you will stand firm in your faith that HE will answer your hearts cry. I pray today that you know that you were chosen specifically for the life that you are in. I pray today for you to be filled with HIS peace and joy through your faith in HIM.
Blessings,
Heather
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