I am a true believer that nothing in this world happens by chance. I believe with all my heart, that things happen with HIS truth, and HIS purpose for our lives. I know this to be true, because of how my life has played out. Even in my darkest hours, HE was there, and HE has now taken me back and shown me just exactly where HE was.
Yesterday I attended my second service since moving at Willow Creek. It had been heavy on my heart from the moment we entered the church just how much our family has been blessed. It was heavy on my heart of the radical change that our family has gone through in just two short years. Honestly, the radical change in just six months. Which in reality is like a moment of time.
The story that Pastor Bill Hybels shared yesterday was amazing. It was the story of Mylene Paquette a 30 year old Canadian woman who was wanting to be the first woman to row solo across the Atlantic Ocean. On day 83 of her journey she radioed for help, and told her team back home, barring a HUGE miracle, this is NOT going to end well. Pastor Bill goes on to tell about how he was on the Queen Mary at that time, on a solo trip to be in solitude with GOD. To get his heart, and his mind right with GOD. He goes on to say how one afternoon the captain came over the intercom of the ship to let all the crew and passengers know that they were going to be making a detour. In fact not only would they be making a detour but they would be stopping dead in the water. Pastor Bill went on to say people began to ask why, and it was then they found out about Mylene. Four hours, after she radioed for help, the "Queen Mary" arrived to assist her in her troubles. He said that all the people aboard the ship went out onto the deck, and cheered and clapped for her as they gave her supplies, and made it so that her dream of being the 1st woman to sail solo across the Atlantic Ocean could be her reality.
As he was telling of this "radical blessing," I began to think about what has been a "radical blessing" in my life. Well honestly I have too many to count. Ones that I didn't even realize I had until I began to seek HIM to reveal to me what they were.
10 years ago I began a journey with GOD, and in the beginning of knew of HIM. However it has been through the storms of my life that I have really come to know HIM. It has been through a series of "radical teachings" starting with "radical forgiveness." I have shared the story of my journey of forgiveness in the way that I have been forgiven, and how HE has taught me to forgive others. Then came "radical obedience." It was all about my trusting HIM that HE would take care of me, and that I would surrender all of me "no matter what."
Today HIS Daily Teachings is letting me know that is has only been through my radical forgiveness, and obedience that I am now am to receive HIS "radical blessings." One "radical blessing" that HE revealed to me yesterday was this, during the closing of the message at church, Pastor Bill began to speak about the "big dreams" that the church has for the next 24 months. As it is in 24 months that Willow will be celebrating its 40th year. D and I were just baby Christian's when they built the addition to Willow Creek. We were a part of that and didn't even realize it.
"Walk in obedience to all that the Lord your God has commanded you, so that you may live and prosper and prolong your days in the land that you will possess." Deuteronomy 5:33
Yesterday D and I sat down to figure out a new budget for our newest chapter of life, and we were both blown away by HIS goodness, and the "radical blessings" that we have been receiving. My first thought was before everything we needed to first give it back to GOD. We needed to bring the tithe. As I wrote the check out, I prayed, that GOD would reveal HIMSELF in a big way that would give us much joy in knowing that our obedience would be blessed.
"Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this,” says the Lord Almighty, “and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that there will not be room enough to store it." Malachi 3:10
I am happy to say that our obedience was blessed just by being able to be a part of something so HUGE at Willow Creek. I can honestly say that when I prayed for D to find a new job, I never in my wildest dreams would have imagined that it would bring us back right to where our lives truly began 10 years ago. As Pastor Bill spoke yesterday of his amazing story of GOD'S "radical blessings" in his life, and those around him, he said, the Queen Mary was one of those moments where I threw my hands up in the air, and said, "the Queen Mary GOD, are you freaking kidding me?" When I heard those words, I too myself thought the same thing, when it comes to the home are living in, to the life we are settling into, to the chapter our lives that have been closed. It all makes me throw my hands in the air, in praise and say, "Are you freaking kidding me GOD?!?"
The answer that I have received from HIM is a resounding "YES!" I know that it is because HE loves me, and wants to pour HIS favor and blessings over my life when I say "Yes" to HIM, and "NO" to my fleshly wants and desires. I now know that it has been through my daily surrender, and constant seeking of HIM to teach, lead, and guide me throughout every single moment of my life that I am able to receive HIS "radical blessings."
"If you fully obey the Lord your God and carefully follow all his commands I give you today, the Lord your God will set you high above all the nations on earth." Deuteronomy 28:1
I pray today that you are able to say "YES" to GOD, and allow HIM to transform and renew you. I pray that you will be on the receiving end of HIS "radical blessings" as a result of your "radical obedience." I pray today that you will seek HIM and allow HIM to teach, lead, and guide you through every single moment of your life. I pray today that you will be able to say with confidence that you know HIM and not just know of HIM.
Blessings,
Heather
This is an account of my early morning walks of faith with my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. In searching for accountablity for me, the LORD used it as encouragement for others. I pray blessings for each and every life who reads HIS Daily Teachings
Monday, October 14, 2013
Sunday, October 13, 2013
"the line"
This past week I have been sick, and with that sickness has come attitude.... One of which I am ashamed of having. Attitude towards my family, friends, and even strangers. An attitude that is not of gratitude, but that was full of harsh and angry words. Words that I as a Mama of five would never want to hear come out of my children's mouths. Words that cut deep, words that are demeaning, and words that just hurt. Yesterday was no exception. I in all of my attitude fought with my 14 year old daughter, the way a three year old fights over a toy. Shamefully I did not handle things well. In fact, after fighting I became defiant, and became if even possible more childish. With my tantrum I decided to watch a show that my two oldest and I usually watch on Friday nights. I didn't wait for her, and I believe I now understand why.
HIS Daily Teachings today was based on this past Thursday's episode of "Glee." All it took was one line in the whole show to stop me in my tracks.... "what get's me in this line right here, it was his whole life." Now if you don't watch the show, it was about the character Finn's death. Also it was about the death of the actual actor Cory Monteith, who died way too young, and who left so many people heartbroken, and devastated. His death was one of shock and disbelief, a tragic ending to a promising life. His death has made me examine my own life, and has made me think about "the line" in my life.
Years from now when my life here on this side of heaven comes to a close there will be a line that separates the year from which I was born, to the year where I died. Today GOD is wanting me to think about what "the line" represents in my life. HE is wanting me to think about the legacy that I am wanting to leave, and I am most certain that it is not a legacy of attitude, but rather one full of gratitude and thanks. A legacy that is full of love, grace, mercy, and forgiveness.
When I think about "the line" for my life, I want it to be one of grace, and humility. I want it to be of integrity, and morals. I want my family and friends to celebrate my life with joy in their hearts as I followed the LORD for the past however many years it will have been by then. This morning HE is having me read "The Dash" by Linda Ellis. As I was reading these lines of the poem really spoke volumes to me: "He noted that first came the date of her birth and spoke of the following date with tears,but he said what mattered most of all was the dash between those years."
This morning as I sit humbly typing my blog, I am thinking about what matter's most in my life. I think am I really living my life in a way that other's would know what truly matters most? Am I truly living my life in a way that GOD know's what truly matters most to me? Am I following HIM as I need to be? Or am I just being childish, and in need of a constant attitude adjustment? If you would have asked me this yesterday I probably would have gave you attitude, however today, this morning at 5:36 a.m. I am on my knees with my eyes welling up with tears, as I am seeking HIS forgiveness for "the line" of my life yesterday is not one of which I want to be remembered by. Yesterday was not me living for GOD and representing what truly matters most.
As I continued reading the poem, these next few lines cut deep into my heart: If we could just slow down enough to consider what’s true and real and always try to understand the way other people feel. And be less quick to anger and show appreciation more and love the people in our lives like we’ve never loved before.
Oh how I wish I would have read this yesterday morning, as it is the whole reason for our fight yesterday. When it comes down to it, I was not compassionate towards my daughter, and I lashed out at her. Why? you ask, well because in my own selfishness I put my feelings first, and chose to make an example out of her. I threw it in her face, and challenged her about her faith. I, me, Heather, a sinner...... yes, I judged her, and when she didn't do what I wanted her to do, and say what I wanted her to say, I pretty much threw her to the wolves....
Sadly, I won't be able to tell her I am sorry until tomorrow when she comes home. However, because I know that HIS mercies are new every morning, today I get to continue "the line" of my life, and this time I can live it in a way that represents what truly matters the most in my life.
Today I will seek HIM earnestly to teach, lead, and guide me how to live out each and every single moment that I am giving. With each breath that I take today, I will know that it is only possible through HIM. When my children come to me with their burdens, I won't make them feel guilty, but I will love them, and lift them up in prayer. I will seek HIM to create in me a compassionate heart, a kind heart, and a forgiving heart. Today I will choose to be the hands and feet of JESUS towards all of HIS children, and I will choose to love them just as HE loves me. I will choose to forgive them just as HE has forgiven me.
The finals lines of the poem, are one's that I will meditate on today, as I believe this is what HE is trying to teach me today: So, when your eulogy is being read, with your life’s actions to rehash…would you be proud of the things they say about how you spent YOUR dash?"
I pray today that you will seek HIM and allow HIM to show you how HE wants you to spend your dash. I pray today that "the line" of your life will represent who you truly are, because you will know WHOSE you are. I pray today that if you don't already know who you are, that you will seek HIM, and HE will reveal HIMSELF to you in a way that you will know that it is HIM. I pray today for you to have the courage to step out and boldly declare that you will do whatever it takes to live your life in a way that shows what truly matters most.
Blessings, Heather
HIS Daily Teachings today was based on this past Thursday's episode of "Glee." All it took was one line in the whole show to stop me in my tracks.... "what get's me in this line right here, it was his whole life." Now if you don't watch the show, it was about the character Finn's death. Also it was about the death of the actual actor Cory Monteith, who died way too young, and who left so many people heartbroken, and devastated. His death was one of shock and disbelief, a tragic ending to a promising life. His death has made me examine my own life, and has made me think about "the line" in my life.
Years from now when my life here on this side of heaven comes to a close there will be a line that separates the year from which I was born, to the year where I died. Today GOD is wanting me to think about what "the line" represents in my life. HE is wanting me to think about the legacy that I am wanting to leave, and I am most certain that it is not a legacy of attitude, but rather one full of gratitude and thanks. A legacy that is full of love, grace, mercy, and forgiveness.
When I think about "the line" for my life, I want it to be one of grace, and humility. I want it to be of integrity, and morals. I want my family and friends to celebrate my life with joy in their hearts as I followed the LORD for the past however many years it will have been by then. This morning HE is having me read "The Dash" by Linda Ellis. As I was reading these lines of the poem really spoke volumes to me: "He noted that first came the date of her birth and spoke of the following date with tears,but he said what mattered most of all was the dash between those years."
This morning as I sit humbly typing my blog, I am thinking about what matter's most in my life. I think am I really living my life in a way that other's would know what truly matters most? Am I truly living my life in a way that GOD know's what truly matters most to me? Am I following HIM as I need to be? Or am I just being childish, and in need of a constant attitude adjustment? If you would have asked me this yesterday I probably would have gave you attitude, however today, this morning at 5:36 a.m. I am on my knees with my eyes welling up with tears, as I am seeking HIS forgiveness for "the line" of my life yesterday is not one of which I want to be remembered by. Yesterday was not me living for GOD and representing what truly matters most.
As I continued reading the poem, these next few lines cut deep into my heart: If we could just slow down enough to consider what’s true and real and always try to understand the way other people feel. And be less quick to anger and show appreciation more and love the people in our lives like we’ve never loved before.
Oh how I wish I would have read this yesterday morning, as it is the whole reason for our fight yesterday. When it comes down to it, I was not compassionate towards my daughter, and I lashed out at her. Why? you ask, well because in my own selfishness I put my feelings first, and chose to make an example out of her. I threw it in her face, and challenged her about her faith. I, me, Heather, a sinner...... yes, I judged her, and when she didn't do what I wanted her to do, and say what I wanted her to say, I pretty much threw her to the wolves....
Sadly, I won't be able to tell her I am sorry until tomorrow when she comes home. However, because I know that HIS mercies are new every morning, today I get to continue "the line" of my life, and this time I can live it in a way that represents what truly matters the most in my life.
Today I will seek HIM earnestly to teach, lead, and guide me how to live out each and every single moment that I am giving. With each breath that I take today, I will know that it is only possible through HIM. When my children come to me with their burdens, I won't make them feel guilty, but I will love them, and lift them up in prayer. I will seek HIM to create in me a compassionate heart, a kind heart, and a forgiving heart. Today I will choose to be the hands and feet of JESUS towards all of HIS children, and I will choose to love them just as HE loves me. I will choose to forgive them just as HE has forgiven me.
The finals lines of the poem, are one's that I will meditate on today, as I believe this is what HE is trying to teach me today: So, when your eulogy is being read, with your life’s actions to rehash…would you be proud of the things they say about how you spent YOUR dash?"
I pray today that you will seek HIM and allow HIM to show you how HE wants you to spend your dash. I pray today that "the line" of your life will represent who you truly are, because you will know WHOSE you are. I pray today that if you don't already know who you are, that you will seek HIM, and HE will reveal HIMSELF to you in a way that you will know that it is HIM. I pray today for you to have the courage to step out and boldly declare that you will do whatever it takes to live your life in a way that shows what truly matters most.
Blessings, Heather
Friday, October 11, 2013
"shattered by the american dream"
In the spring of 2005 D and I were well on our way to becoming debt free. Just one year prior we found out that we were expecting our third daughter. We were also planning an elaborate vacation to Disney World with our two young daughters, when truthfully we didn't have a dime to our name. However, with the worldliness leading our hearts, we were foolish in thinking that it could be achieved.
Thankfully GOD had much bigger plans, and placed us in a financial education class through our church. It was there that we really got "right" with GOD, and let go.... and let HIM lead us. For an entire year we didn't go anywhere unless it was planned. We only ate out once a month, and when we did it was a HUGE deal. We got dressed up, and celebrated that GOD had allowed us to dine out for the evening. I came to LOVE the one night a month that I was certain I didn't have to do any dishes. As the months passed, and as each bill was marked paid-in-full D and I celebrated. We would become giddy with excitement, as our stack of monthly bills began to shrink. In one year alone, through HIS timing and provision we were able to pay of $22,000 in debt. Not only were we are to pay that much off, but we did so with one income, and three little girls. It was then that I learned to live frugally.
However, the closer D and I became to being debt free, the more worldly desires began to invade our hearts. We began to hear that we were missing out on not being homeowners. We were told that there were so many benefits to home ownership, and that we would qualify for a home for sure. We now know that this was one of the biggest lies that we have ever fallen for. This was the beginning of our family being "shattered by the american dream."
As we began the search for our "perfect" house, we were met with so much disappointment. At the time our family was living in a 3 bedroom coach home, however, we didn't have a yard, and the neighborhood park was over run with kids. Our girls used to have to wait in line to go down the slide. The would have to wait in line to play on the swings. The more we stood in line, the more our hearts desire grew for something more. However, little did we know the journey that we were about to embark on, and how it would change the dynamic of our little family forever.
In the fall of 2005 D and I purchased what we called our "dream home." It was everything that our hearts desired. Our mortgage was less than our rent, and we had a HUGE yard, 1 acre to be exact. D landed a job closer to our new home, and life well, it was really looking up. Looking back now I can see when our eyes were taken off of HIM, and placed all on the desires to fulfill our very own version of the "american dream."
Within four months of our living out our version of the "american dream." We were stopped dead in our tracks by something life changing happening to our two oldest daughters. This began a whole new journey for me, as their Mama, and helping them through the darkest moments of their young precious lives. This would prove to be one of my hardest life's lessons. This would forever change my perspective on someone chasing their version of "american dream."
HIS Daily Teachings today is a loving reminder of just how far we have come from being shattered. HE is wanting me to know that as long as I keep my eyes, mind, and heart focused on HIM, HE will pour HIS blessings and favor over our family. I am convinced more and more as each day passes that I must start out every single day saying, "Teach, lead, and guide me how to live every single moment of my day LORD."
As I sit here typing my blog, I am looking around this beautiful home that GOD has blessed us with, and I am in awe. As each day passes GOD reveals more of HIMSELF to me, in the way that HE answer's my prayers. I love when I realize just how little of prayers HE answers. Just small "breath" prayers of my heart's desire. HE is wanting me to know that even though I was once "shattered by the american dream," HE has rebuilt me, restored me, renewed me, transformed me, and loved me through HIS grace and HIS mercy every single step of the way.
Just thinking about how far we have come, and how much HE has taken us through, and being rescued from the brokenness of our past, brings me to my knees. Today my eyes are filled with tears of gratitude and thanks to my SAVIOR. Today I am thankful that HE has rescued me, and has began a new journey full of HIS hope, HIS love, HIS grace, HIS mercy, and HIS forgiveness.
HE is wanting me to write HIS word's down on my heart and mediate on them daily. This morning through my youngest daughters spelling words HE is wanting me to meditate on "Steadfast." HE has revealed to me what that very word means about HIS love for me. Once again, I am brought to my knees, and my eyes well up with tears. HE is wanting me to know today that as long as I keep HIM at the center of my life, I will never again be completely "shattered." I am learning that though I may struggle, and go through hard times, NEVER again will I have to feel so alone.
"They will have no fear of bad news;their hearts are steadfast, trusting in the Lord." Psalm 112:7
"And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal gloryin Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast." 1 Peter 5:10
I pray today that if you have been "shattered by the american dream" that you will turn to HIM, and seek HIS timing and HIS provision for your life. I pray today for you to have the courage to say "No" to the "american dream" and YES to HIM. I pray to today that HE will create in you a desire to seek HIM daily, and to ask HIM to teach, lead, and guide you through every single moment of your day today.
Blessings,
Heather
Thankfully GOD had much bigger plans, and placed us in a financial education class through our church. It was there that we really got "right" with GOD, and let go.... and let HIM lead us. For an entire year we didn't go anywhere unless it was planned. We only ate out once a month, and when we did it was a HUGE deal. We got dressed up, and celebrated that GOD had allowed us to dine out for the evening. I came to LOVE the one night a month that I was certain I didn't have to do any dishes. As the months passed, and as each bill was marked paid-in-full D and I celebrated. We would become giddy with excitement, as our stack of monthly bills began to shrink. In one year alone, through HIS timing and provision we were able to pay of $22,000 in debt. Not only were we are to pay that much off, but we did so with one income, and three little girls. It was then that I learned to live frugally.
However, the closer D and I became to being debt free, the more worldly desires began to invade our hearts. We began to hear that we were missing out on not being homeowners. We were told that there were so many benefits to home ownership, and that we would qualify for a home for sure. We now know that this was one of the biggest lies that we have ever fallen for. This was the beginning of our family being "shattered by the american dream."
As we began the search for our "perfect" house, we were met with so much disappointment. At the time our family was living in a 3 bedroom coach home, however, we didn't have a yard, and the neighborhood park was over run with kids. Our girls used to have to wait in line to go down the slide. The would have to wait in line to play on the swings. The more we stood in line, the more our hearts desire grew for something more. However, little did we know the journey that we were about to embark on, and how it would change the dynamic of our little family forever.
In the fall of 2005 D and I purchased what we called our "dream home." It was everything that our hearts desired. Our mortgage was less than our rent, and we had a HUGE yard, 1 acre to be exact. D landed a job closer to our new home, and life well, it was really looking up. Looking back now I can see when our eyes were taken off of HIM, and placed all on the desires to fulfill our very own version of the "american dream."
Within four months of our living out our version of the "american dream." We were stopped dead in our tracks by something life changing happening to our two oldest daughters. This began a whole new journey for me, as their Mama, and helping them through the darkest moments of their young precious lives. This would prove to be one of my hardest life's lessons. This would forever change my perspective on someone chasing their version of "american dream."
HIS Daily Teachings today is a loving reminder of just how far we have come from being shattered. HE is wanting me to know that as long as I keep my eyes, mind, and heart focused on HIM, HE will pour HIS blessings and favor over our family. I am convinced more and more as each day passes that I must start out every single day saying, "Teach, lead, and guide me how to live every single moment of my day LORD."
As I sit here typing my blog, I am looking around this beautiful home that GOD has blessed us with, and I am in awe. As each day passes GOD reveals more of HIMSELF to me, in the way that HE answer's my prayers. I love when I realize just how little of prayers HE answers. Just small "breath" prayers of my heart's desire. HE is wanting me to know that even though I was once "shattered by the american dream," HE has rebuilt me, restored me, renewed me, transformed me, and loved me through HIS grace and HIS mercy every single step of the way.
Just thinking about how far we have come, and how much HE has taken us through, and being rescued from the brokenness of our past, brings me to my knees. Today my eyes are filled with tears of gratitude and thanks to my SAVIOR. Today I am thankful that HE has rescued me, and has began a new journey full of HIS hope, HIS love, HIS grace, HIS mercy, and HIS forgiveness.
HE is wanting me to write HIS word's down on my heart and mediate on them daily. This morning through my youngest daughters spelling words HE is wanting me to meditate on "Steadfast." HE has revealed to me what that very word means about HIS love for me. Once again, I am brought to my knees, and my eyes well up with tears. HE is wanting me to know today that as long as I keep HIM at the center of my life, I will never again be completely "shattered." I am learning that though I may struggle, and go through hard times, NEVER again will I have to feel so alone.
"They will have no fear of bad news;their hearts are steadfast, trusting in the Lord." Psalm 112:7
"And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal gloryin Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast." 1 Peter 5:10
I pray today that if you have been "shattered by the american dream" that you will turn to HIM, and seek HIS timing and HIS provision for your life. I pray today for you to have the courage to say "No" to the "american dream" and YES to HIM. I pray to today that HE will create in you a desire to seek HIM daily, and to ask HIM to teach, lead, and guide you through every single moment of your day today.
Blessings,
Heather
Monday, October 7, 2013
Radical Obedience
I will be the first to admit, that when it comes to being obedient, I can be pretty defiant. I can be stuck in my ways, however when it comes to GOD and HIS calling for my life, well I pretty much cave. I cave because I trust HIM. I cave because I know in time HE will reveal to me why HE was asking me to live out Radical Obedience.
In the last 10 years of my journey I have had to live with Radical Obedience. To me this meant, Radical forgiveness. Last night as I was catching up on Facebook, I came across a post that stated, " I believe all Child Molesters deserve the death penalty." As I read those words, it took me back to the moment where GOD asked me to forgive my step-grandfather for all he had done to me. For those of you new to my reading my blog, I was molested by him from the time that I was 4 until I turned 15. It would be 11 years later that GOD would allow me to relive all of those years through intense therapy sessions with an amazing Christian Therapist.
Three months after I completed therapy GOD asked me to forgive him. I can't begin to describe the hurt and anger that I felt that HE was asking this much of me. I was astonished that HE could ask so BIG of me, however HE made a promise to me that was something I could NOT turn down, and HIS promise was, "Heather if you forgive him, I promise to take away all of your pain. If you forgive him, I will make sure that your nightmares cease. If you forgive him, I make you flashback free. If you forgive him, I will give you peace with that part of your past.
With those promises I did the only thing I knew I could do, I trusted HIM and I forgave my step-grandfather for all he had done to me. Almost instantly I was pain, nightmare, and flashback free. I could talk about what happened to me without sobbing and trembling. In choosing to live out Radical Obedience, I was able to forgive in a way I never knew would be possible. In choosing to live out Radical Forgiveness I saw things and people in a new light.
However, I have learned that with Radical Obedience, and Forgiveness, the tests and trials keep coming. I am learning that each day GOD is stretching my faith, and refining and renewing my heart to be more like JESUS every single day. As the years went on from that moment of Radical Forgiveness, the level of forgiveness became even more frequent.
There was a time in D and my journey where we were wronged by people we had entrusted in our inner circle. In short, we were betrayed, and our words were used against us. We were shunned by people who'm we called "family." Up until that time the worst pain I had felt was holding onto the unforgiveness, and grudge in my heart for justice when it came to my step-grandfather. So when our "friends betrayed us, " it was beyond anything I could imagine. The pain was real, raw, and damaging. However, with that being said, it was forgivable. In having lived through that, I have learned that nothing is impossible in CHRIST. HE can, will, and does make all things possible. Now being on the other side of that pain for almost four years, I can tell you I don't even have an ounce of pain in my heart. I have gone on to entrust new people in my inner circle, and GOD has grown my faith in HIM by leaps and bounds.
Yesterday while at Willow Creek, Senior Pastor Bill Hybels spoke about this very subject. He said that Radical Forgiveness is about giving up your right to revenge. He went on to say that, "You can tell a lot about a person's heart just by the way they pray when they have been wronged." As those words began to sink deep into my heart, I thought about all the times where I was called to forgive, and instead I felt sorry for myself, and refused to let go of anything.
I found myself thinking back to all of the times I said, "YES" to myself, and "NO" to GOD. Those were times where I found myself astonished that HE would ask me to forgive another person. After all, hadn't I forgiven enough already? I found myself saying, "haven't I proven enough that I know how to forgive?" Thankfully, GOD loves me enough, and cares for me enough to NOT let me stay in that mindset. NO, HE captured my heart once again, and stretched and strengthened my faith even more in HIM.
Yesterday Radical Obedience was the topic, even without Pastor Hybels saying it. As I sat there I found myself, praising GOD for HIS themed teachings in my life. I thanked HIM for seeking me so intently, and audaciously. In a way, I felt special like this was all just for me. The more the guest speakers spoke of their stories, the more in awe, and in love I was with my SAVIOR.
The two guest speakers were Israeli, and Palestinian. A mother who lost her son, and father who lost his daughter. Brought together through their grief. Two people who should be sworn enemies, now with a bond that has been woven so tightly with JESUS at the center. Their stories of Radical Forgiveness took my breath away. As I sat there listening to their stories, I found myself so grateful that I truly understood how they were able to live out Radical Forgiveness, by living out Radical Obedience.
Yesterday's message was this, praying like JESUS prayed, and 3 categories of being wronged. I could identify with all three. The first category was minor wronged, petty wronged, one where one might say, "Really (sarcastically) that's really the worst thing that's really happened to you? The second category was betrayal. Where one could say, "I'm so sorry that happened to you, that was wrong." You could also say, "This is something that's going to be difficult to navigate, and I will be praying for you. Then there is the third category, and this for me is something that I pray not everyone ever has to go through. This is where the injustice is overwhelming. The life changing moments, that take our breath away. The pain, and tears, and heartache that fill our hearts. To this person one might say, "I am so incredibly sorry, I am praying for you." I believe that these are the moments where most of us become speechless.
As Pastor Hybels spoke about all three categories, he referenced JESUS' prayer in Luke 23:34 when HE was being brutally tortured, and crucified, as HE was hanging on the cross, HE said allowed to HIS FATHER in Heaven, "Forgive them Father, for they know not what they do." Even in HIS pain and anguish, of which I can't imagine.... and truthfully makes me cry every time I think about it, JESUS prayed for those HE was being wronged by. Powerful.... just powerful.....
My heart is overflowing with emotions as I type, so I will leave you all with this. If you haven't already accepted JESUS into your heart, all you have to do is ask, and HE will meet you right where you are. If you don't already know JESUS, I pray that you will be filled with the courage and the peace that you need to seek and find your SAVIOR, the one who knows and loves you best. I pray today that my life will be a living testament to you all to know the power of HIS love, HIS grace, HIS mercy, and HIS forgiveness. I pray today that you too will live out Radical Obedience.
Blessings,
Heather
In the last 10 years of my journey I have had to live with Radical Obedience. To me this meant, Radical forgiveness. Last night as I was catching up on Facebook, I came across a post that stated, " I believe all Child Molesters deserve the death penalty." As I read those words, it took me back to the moment where GOD asked me to forgive my step-grandfather for all he had done to me. For those of you new to my reading my blog, I was molested by him from the time that I was 4 until I turned 15. It would be 11 years later that GOD would allow me to relive all of those years through intense therapy sessions with an amazing Christian Therapist.
Three months after I completed therapy GOD asked me to forgive him. I can't begin to describe the hurt and anger that I felt that HE was asking this much of me. I was astonished that HE could ask so BIG of me, however HE made a promise to me that was something I could NOT turn down, and HIS promise was, "Heather if you forgive him, I promise to take away all of your pain. If you forgive him, I will make sure that your nightmares cease. If you forgive him, I make you flashback free. If you forgive him, I will give you peace with that part of your past.
With those promises I did the only thing I knew I could do, I trusted HIM and I forgave my step-grandfather for all he had done to me. Almost instantly I was pain, nightmare, and flashback free. I could talk about what happened to me without sobbing and trembling. In choosing to live out Radical Obedience, I was able to forgive in a way I never knew would be possible. In choosing to live out Radical Forgiveness I saw things and people in a new light.
However, I have learned that with Radical Obedience, and Forgiveness, the tests and trials keep coming. I am learning that each day GOD is stretching my faith, and refining and renewing my heart to be more like JESUS every single day. As the years went on from that moment of Radical Forgiveness, the level of forgiveness became even more frequent.
There was a time in D and my journey where we were wronged by people we had entrusted in our inner circle. In short, we were betrayed, and our words were used against us. We were shunned by people who'm we called "family." Up until that time the worst pain I had felt was holding onto the unforgiveness, and grudge in my heart for justice when it came to my step-grandfather. So when our "friends betrayed us, " it was beyond anything I could imagine. The pain was real, raw, and damaging. However, with that being said, it was forgivable. In having lived through that, I have learned that nothing is impossible in CHRIST. HE can, will, and does make all things possible. Now being on the other side of that pain for almost four years, I can tell you I don't even have an ounce of pain in my heart. I have gone on to entrust new people in my inner circle, and GOD has grown my faith in HIM by leaps and bounds.
Yesterday while at Willow Creek, Senior Pastor Bill Hybels spoke about this very subject. He said that Radical Forgiveness is about giving up your right to revenge. He went on to say that, "You can tell a lot about a person's heart just by the way they pray when they have been wronged." As those words began to sink deep into my heart, I thought about all the times where I was called to forgive, and instead I felt sorry for myself, and refused to let go of anything.
I found myself thinking back to all of the times I said, "YES" to myself, and "NO" to GOD. Those were times where I found myself astonished that HE would ask me to forgive another person. After all, hadn't I forgiven enough already? I found myself saying, "haven't I proven enough that I know how to forgive?" Thankfully, GOD loves me enough, and cares for me enough to NOT let me stay in that mindset. NO, HE captured my heart once again, and stretched and strengthened my faith even more in HIM.
Yesterday Radical Obedience was the topic, even without Pastor Hybels saying it. As I sat there I found myself, praising GOD for HIS themed teachings in my life. I thanked HIM for seeking me so intently, and audaciously. In a way, I felt special like this was all just for me. The more the guest speakers spoke of their stories, the more in awe, and in love I was with my SAVIOR.
The two guest speakers were Israeli, and Palestinian. A mother who lost her son, and father who lost his daughter. Brought together through their grief. Two people who should be sworn enemies, now with a bond that has been woven so tightly with JESUS at the center. Their stories of Radical Forgiveness took my breath away. As I sat there listening to their stories, I found myself so grateful that I truly understood how they were able to live out Radical Forgiveness, by living out Radical Obedience.
Yesterday's message was this, praying like JESUS prayed, and 3 categories of being wronged. I could identify with all three. The first category was minor wronged, petty wronged, one where one might say, "Really (sarcastically) that's really the worst thing that's really happened to you? The second category was betrayal. Where one could say, "I'm so sorry that happened to you, that was wrong." You could also say, "This is something that's going to be difficult to navigate, and I will be praying for you. Then there is the third category, and this for me is something that I pray not everyone ever has to go through. This is where the injustice is overwhelming. The life changing moments, that take our breath away. The pain, and tears, and heartache that fill our hearts. To this person one might say, "I am so incredibly sorry, I am praying for you." I believe that these are the moments where most of us become speechless.
As Pastor Hybels spoke about all three categories, he referenced JESUS' prayer in Luke 23:34 when HE was being brutally tortured, and crucified, as HE was hanging on the cross, HE said allowed to HIS FATHER in Heaven, "Forgive them Father, for they know not what they do." Even in HIS pain and anguish, of which I can't imagine.... and truthfully makes me cry every time I think about it, JESUS prayed for those HE was being wronged by. Powerful.... just powerful.....
If I have learned anything it is this, when called to live out Radical Obedience, I should NEVER hesitate, as my SAVIOR lived it daily. No matter what pain or anguish I may endure during my lifetime on this side of Heaven, nothing can compare to the pain and anguish that JESUS suffered on the cross for me.
My heart is overflowing with emotions as I type, so I will leave you all with this. If you haven't already accepted JESUS into your heart, all you have to do is ask, and HE will meet you right where you are. If you don't already know JESUS, I pray that you will be filled with the courage and the peace that you need to seek and find your SAVIOR, the one who knows and loves you best. I pray today that my life will be a living testament to you all to know the power of HIS love, HIS grace, HIS mercy, and HIS forgiveness. I pray today that you too will live out Radical Obedience.
Blessings,
Heather
Sunday, October 6, 2013
Ordinary to Extraordinary
I will never forget the moment that I accepted Jesus into my heart. I will never forget the pain that I had been going through. I will never forget those first moments as I stepped inside the Lakeside Auditorium at Willow Creek Community Church. I will never forget the tears that fell freely from my eyes, and the relief that began to wash over me. I will never forget holding my husband's hand, whom I was ready to divorce, and to shut out of my life forever. I will never forget the power of the word's that were spoken to me. I will never forget just how much JESUS loves me, and how HE saved me from my darkest hour's.
This morning I am going back to Willow Creek for the first time in eight years as a completely transformed christian. I am going back to the first place I ever called home. I am going back to a life changing church that when I left, I was a young woman of faith, I was a baby christian. I am returning today as a strong woman of faith, who has been through so much these past eight years, whose faith would grow by leaps and bounds. Who would be shook upside down, and dumped out. I have gone from being an ordinary christian to an extraordinary christian.
This morning all of this was revealed to me through my current read. As I read, these word's really spoke volumes to me: "Radical obedience is not just following a list of right things to do. Non believers can do that and call it "good." Radical obedience is choosing to exchange what is "right" for GOD'S righteousness. Only the pursuit of GOD'S righteousness leads to HIS best."
Two short years ago GOD placed our family into another life changing church. Elevate Church was a breath of fresh air when walked in. It brought us back to our roots of Axis at Willow Creek. It brought me back to the first moments where I found JESUS. Two years ago, I began a journey of coming back home. Home to JESUS, home to HIS word, HIS truth, HIS heart, and HIS plans for my life. Two years ago, I began a radical transformation. Two years ago I prayed for a total renewal of my heart, soul, body, and mind. Two years ago my Pastor began to challenge me in a way that I had never been challenged to walk in my faith. Two years ago, I would begin to see the transformation of my family going from being ordinary to extraordinary.
This past May I knew that I needed to change things BIG in my life. So as my Pastor had been challenging me every week, I prayed boldly and BIG. I prayed that GOD would use me BIG. Never in my wildest dreams would I have ever imagined just how BIG HE would use me. Yesterday was another one of those little nudges from GOD showing me that I am being used BIG, and I am doing what HE has called me to do. HE sent this confirmation that I am being a radical christian by revealing the stats of my blog. I am so honored to say that HIS Daily Teachings is now being read in 16 different countries. Yesterday alone we had over 35 hits, that means 35 lives were touched by the hands of JESUS through my words. Words that are written by me, but through HIS HOLY SPIRIT.
Throughout my life I have met many people who know JESUS is their SAVIOR, however GOD has revealed to me that so very few people really know HIM as LORD. Therefore, today I will seek HIM earnestly, and I will ask HIM to teach, lead, and guide me through every single moment of my day. I will answer HIS calls, and heed HIS "whispers." I will acknowledge HIM in everything I do, as I know none of what has been happening in my life wouldn't have been possible without my saying YES to GOD!
I am learning that saying YES to GOD means surrendering every single day even when I don't "feel" like it. I know that in saying YES to GOD I am called to be set apart. I am called to be not of this world. I am to seek HIM daily to transform and renew my heart. I am called to seek HIM to create in me a heart for people, to love them just as JESUS loves them. I am called to go from ordinary to EXTRAORDINARY!
"The love of CHRIST compels us to choose obedience."
Because I love HIM and I trust HIM, I choose obedience. HE has proven time and again to me that HE knows what is best for me. I know that HIS plans for me are to prosper me, and to give me HOPE and future. I know this to be true, as I am living proof of HIS very words.
"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
Four years ago I read a book called "You Were Born For This" by Bruce Wilkinson. This book is all about being extraordinary, and though I wanted so badly for GOD to use me in that way, I wasn't able to fully surrender. I wasn't at a place in my walk where I was strong enough to fully surrender. Unbeknownst to me I had so much more growing to do, and so much more strengthening to go through in order for GOD to use me in such a BIG way.
When I first became a christian, I was what you would call a "closet" christian. I had my faith, and I kept it to myself. I was too afraid of people disagreeing with me, and arguing with me. I was too weak in my faith, and too new in my walk to withstand harsh judgement. Many times I found myself "under fire" about my faith, and I crumbled each and every time. However, throughout the years, GOD has been strengthening me, and showing me how to be bold in my walk.
So many people have said to me, "You are such a strong woman of faith." I usually just smile and say, "thank you," when inside I'm thinking, "I am?" Today HE has revealed to me just how strong I have become in my faith in HIM. HE has let me know that I only became strong by seeking HIM, and surrendering all of me to HIM daily.
This is not to say that I don't have rough days. Days where I mess up, where I say things that are less than GOD honoring. Day's where I just want to eat my words, and my actions. I mess up daily, but because I keep HIM at the center of my life, when I do mess up, I know all I have to do is ask JESUS to lead me, and HE'S right there loving me, and showing me either how to change it, or how to seek forgiveness and learn from my mistakes. HE always meets me right where I am repenting, loving me, and filling me with HIS grace.
Lysa Terkeurst poses these four challenges in her book "What Happens When Women Say YES to GOD"
~ Do I really want this freedom, this life of ministry that now lies before me? ~my answer is a resounding YES!!! I most certainly do, I can't imagine my life being any other way.
~ Do I really want to be interupted in the middle of my busy life to see GOD, hear GOD, and pursue GOD? ~ YES!!! YES I do, as I know that it is when I am busy that HE is my calm, HE is the source of my true inner peace, HE is the one who loves and knows me best!
~ Do I really want to be compelled by the love of CHRIST? ~ OH my LORD JESUS YES!!! HIS loving is greater than anything I have ever known. HIS love is beyond my wildest dreams. HIS love is what captured me, and saved me from the darkest pits of hell. HIS love is what keeps me on the path that HE has set before me.
~ Do I really want a LORD for all of my life? ~ I am humbled and honored to say that HE is my LORD, and HE is my KING! HE is the leader of my life. HE is the CENTER of my world. HE is my EVERYTHING! I know that without HIM I am nothing!
All of these very confirmations are so comforting to me, to know that I am doing what HE has called me to do. I am honored that HE has been leading me for the past ten years of my life, and who has taken me from being ordinary to EXTRAORDINARY!
I pray today that if you too are struggling with living boldly in your faith that you will seek HIM and ask HIM to create in you a heart of courage. I pray today that you too will want your faith to go from being ordinary to extraordinary. I pray today that in seeking HIM, you will be filled by HIS peace, and that HIS favor and blessings will be poured over your life through your obedience.
Blessings,
Heather
This morning I am going back to Willow Creek for the first time in eight years as a completely transformed christian. I am going back to the first place I ever called home. I am going back to a life changing church that when I left, I was a young woman of faith, I was a baby christian. I am returning today as a strong woman of faith, who has been through so much these past eight years, whose faith would grow by leaps and bounds. Who would be shook upside down, and dumped out. I have gone from being an ordinary christian to an extraordinary christian.
This morning all of this was revealed to me through my current read. As I read, these word's really spoke volumes to me: "Radical obedience is not just following a list of right things to do. Non believers can do that and call it "good." Radical obedience is choosing to exchange what is "right" for GOD'S righteousness. Only the pursuit of GOD'S righteousness leads to HIS best."
Two short years ago GOD placed our family into another life changing church. Elevate Church was a breath of fresh air when walked in. It brought us back to our roots of Axis at Willow Creek. It brought me back to the first moments where I found JESUS. Two years ago, I began a journey of coming back home. Home to JESUS, home to HIS word, HIS truth, HIS heart, and HIS plans for my life. Two years ago, I began a radical transformation. Two years ago I prayed for a total renewal of my heart, soul, body, and mind. Two years ago my Pastor began to challenge me in a way that I had never been challenged to walk in my faith. Two years ago, I would begin to see the transformation of my family going from being ordinary to extraordinary.
This past May I knew that I needed to change things BIG in my life. So as my Pastor had been challenging me every week, I prayed boldly and BIG. I prayed that GOD would use me BIG. Never in my wildest dreams would I have ever imagined just how BIG HE would use me. Yesterday was another one of those little nudges from GOD showing me that I am being used BIG, and I am doing what HE has called me to do. HE sent this confirmation that I am being a radical christian by revealing the stats of my blog. I am so honored to say that HIS Daily Teachings is now being read in 16 different countries. Yesterday alone we had over 35 hits, that means 35 lives were touched by the hands of JESUS through my words. Words that are written by me, but through HIS HOLY SPIRIT.
Throughout my life I have met many people who know JESUS is their SAVIOR, however GOD has revealed to me that so very few people really know HIM as LORD. Therefore, today I will seek HIM earnestly, and I will ask HIM to teach, lead, and guide me through every single moment of my day. I will answer HIS calls, and heed HIS "whispers." I will acknowledge HIM in everything I do, as I know none of what has been happening in my life wouldn't have been possible without my saying YES to GOD!
I am learning that saying YES to GOD means surrendering every single day even when I don't "feel" like it. I know that in saying YES to GOD I am called to be set apart. I am called to be not of this world. I am to seek HIM daily to transform and renew my heart. I am called to seek HIM to create in me a heart for people, to love them just as JESUS loves them. I am called to go from ordinary to EXTRAORDINARY!
"The love of CHRIST compels us to choose obedience."
Because I love HIM and I trust HIM, I choose obedience. HE has proven time and again to me that HE knows what is best for me. I know that HIS plans for me are to prosper me, and to give me HOPE and future. I know this to be true, as I am living proof of HIS very words.
"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
Four years ago I read a book called "You Were Born For This" by Bruce Wilkinson. This book is all about being extraordinary, and though I wanted so badly for GOD to use me in that way, I wasn't able to fully surrender. I wasn't at a place in my walk where I was strong enough to fully surrender. Unbeknownst to me I had so much more growing to do, and so much more strengthening to go through in order for GOD to use me in such a BIG way.
When I first became a christian, I was what you would call a "closet" christian. I had my faith, and I kept it to myself. I was too afraid of people disagreeing with me, and arguing with me. I was too weak in my faith, and too new in my walk to withstand harsh judgement. Many times I found myself "under fire" about my faith, and I crumbled each and every time. However, throughout the years, GOD has been strengthening me, and showing me how to be bold in my walk.
So many people have said to me, "You are such a strong woman of faith." I usually just smile and say, "thank you," when inside I'm thinking, "I am?" Today HE has revealed to me just how strong I have become in my faith in HIM. HE has let me know that I only became strong by seeking HIM, and surrendering all of me to HIM daily.
This is not to say that I don't have rough days. Days where I mess up, where I say things that are less than GOD honoring. Day's where I just want to eat my words, and my actions. I mess up daily, but because I keep HIM at the center of my life, when I do mess up, I know all I have to do is ask JESUS to lead me, and HE'S right there loving me, and showing me either how to change it, or how to seek forgiveness and learn from my mistakes. HE always meets me right where I am repenting, loving me, and filling me with HIS grace.
Lysa Terkeurst poses these four challenges in her book "What Happens When Women Say YES to GOD"
~ Do I really want this freedom, this life of ministry that now lies before me? ~my answer is a resounding YES!!! I most certainly do, I can't imagine my life being any other way.
~ Do I really want to be interupted in the middle of my busy life to see GOD, hear GOD, and pursue GOD? ~ YES!!! YES I do, as I know that it is when I am busy that HE is my calm, HE is the source of my true inner peace, HE is the one who loves and knows me best!
~ Do I really want to be compelled by the love of CHRIST? ~ OH my LORD JESUS YES!!! HIS loving is greater than anything I have ever known. HIS love is beyond my wildest dreams. HIS love is what captured me, and saved me from the darkest pits of hell. HIS love is what keeps me on the path that HE has set before me.
~ Do I really want a LORD for all of my life? ~ I am humbled and honored to say that HE is my LORD, and HE is my KING! HE is the leader of my life. HE is the CENTER of my world. HE is my EVERYTHING! I know that without HIM I am nothing!
All of these very confirmations are so comforting to me, to know that I am doing what HE has called me to do. I am honored that HE has been leading me for the past ten years of my life, and who has taken me from being ordinary to EXTRAORDINARY!
I pray today that if you too are struggling with living boldly in your faith that you will seek HIM and ask HIM to create in you a heart of courage. I pray today that you too will want your faith to go from being ordinary to extraordinary. I pray today that in seeking HIM, you will be filled by HIS peace, and that HIS favor and blessings will be poured over your life through your obedience.
Blessings,
Heather
Saturday, October 5, 2013
house or home?
This morning as I began reading, I sensed GOD asking me, did you grow up in a house or home? I knew the answer to that immediately, as I grew up in a very unloving, and uncaring house. As I stated before I was raised by selfish people. One of the many ways that confirms to me that I was raised in a house, was the mere fact that I would have to clean our house, before the cleaning people would come. I never quite understood that, but because it was what was asked of me, I didn't argue, as the wrath of anger would be upon me, and I would much rather just do what I was told, then be on the receiving end of that wrath.
HIS Daily Teachings for me today was so that I may never forget just how important it is to live in a home, and not a house. HE has let me know that a house is just four walls, with things filling it. It is a mere structure, of which has no value, other than worldly value. A home however, is filled with HIM, HIS love, HIS grace, HIS forgiveness, HIS hope, HIS mercy, and what I feel is the most important HIS peace.
Today I am thankful for this reminder that my true peace comes from HIM. Today I am thankful that HE has let me know and understand the importance between a house or a home. Today HE has let me know what HIS desire is for myself, and my family. I was reminded to NOT sweat the small stuff, of my children being children.
Not understanding what I mean, well let me paint a picture for you. On any given day, there are clothes strewn about in every room. You can pretty much bet that there will be lights left on, and shoes blocking the doorways. There are dishes in the sink, and the garbage is almost always over flowing. Laundry is looking more and more like Mt. St. Laundry, and there always seems to be something sticky on the bathroom floors, and the kitchen floor.
Now as I have stated D and I have been blessed with five beautiful children. However, because they are indeed children, their version of clean, and my version are completely different. While I strive to maintain order, and cleanliness in our home, my children would much rather be striving to maintain silliness, laughter, and joy in our home. This I believe what a loving reminder from my heavenly Father this morning, that is more important that I live in a home, rather than a house.
GOD knows my heart best, and HE knows that I absolutely detest clutter. So much in fact, that when there is clutter, and chaos, I lose it. I become easily agitated, and begin to lash out at my loved ones.
This past week my oldest daughters and I have been working diligently in making our house a home. We have hung curtains, decorated, washed floors, cupboards, lit candles, cooked, and even baked. We have created an inviting space room by room in our new house.
It has been my prayer that our house would be a place for us to call home. However, just as my children and I have a different version of clean, so do GOD and I in what makes a house a home. Today HE is asking me to release my clenched fists and trust HIM with all that I am and with everything that I have. HE is wanting me to know that I need not be so focused on the condition of our home, but rather the hearts that reside in it. HE has let me know that is far more important for me to model to model CHRISTS love to my children, than how shiny the kitchen floor is. HE has let me know that HE would much rather have me let laundry pile up, and spend time with my children, as my time is so very fleeting with them.
Today I am thankful that D and I have both received the same message about the importance of residing in a home, and NOT a house. I am thankful that I am married to a man who loves and understands me, and knows just how badly I am affected by clutter. D knows that when I feel as if though my life is full of clutter, I feel out of sorts. D knows that follows by feeling unaccomplished, and frazzled. Which then leads to ultimately feeling like a failure. Failure as a wife and a mama. Failure to keep our home neat and tidy. Failure that our home is never "company ready." What I have learned is that GOD is not a failure, and anything that I lack in, HE more than makes up for. Therefore, I must seek HIM earnestly, and ask HIM to teach, lead, and guide me through every single moment of my life.
Today I am thankful for these words written by Lysa Terkeurst "I could have a neat and tidy house where things never get lost, misplaced, or broken if there were no others living there but me."
As I began to think about that statement, I began to think about my upbringing and how I felt growing up as a child, who was taught that her worth would be found in what she did, and not who she was. Growing up that way, was very damaging for me, and it took years of spending time in HIS word for me to fully understand that its not about what I do, but about WHOSE I am.
I am realizing that I would much rather have home full of life, joy, laughter, and fun., than a neat and tidy house, where you could eat off the kitchen floor. Today HE has captured my heart once again about the things that really matter, and what matters right this very moment is this: How boring my life would be without these amazing loud, fun, silly people whom I get to live life with every single day!
Someone once wrote me and let me know just how blessed I am. At the time, I wasn't feeling very blessed, as I was going through a major storm myself, however, when I think back to their words now, I can see that it was the beginning of this reoccurring theme in my life of a difference between a house or a home. They told me that because I have a home which is filled with my family, then I have been truly blessed beyond all measure.
Oh how true those words are to me today! So today when you stop by my house, I will tell you to come on in, have a seat, and ask you if I could get you something to drink. Today when you stop by my house and want a tour to see how unpacking is going, I will gladly show you this amazing blessing that GOD has blessed us with. Today when you stop by my house, I will tell you just how happy we are to be able to call this our "home."
I pray today that you will seek HIM and ask HIM to reveal to you whether you live in a house or a home. I pray today that you will let go of the desire to compete with what the world is telling you about what matters most. I pray today that you will see that when you have JESUS at the center, then you will be able to call the place where you reside "home."
Blessings,
Heather
HIS Daily Teachings for me today was so that I may never forget just how important it is to live in a home, and not a house. HE has let me know that a house is just four walls, with things filling it. It is a mere structure, of which has no value, other than worldly value. A home however, is filled with HIM, HIS love, HIS grace, HIS forgiveness, HIS hope, HIS mercy, and what I feel is the most important HIS peace.
Today I am thankful for this reminder that my true peace comes from HIM. Today I am thankful that HE has let me know and understand the importance between a house or a home. Today HE has let me know what HIS desire is for myself, and my family. I was reminded to NOT sweat the small stuff, of my children being children.
Not understanding what I mean, well let me paint a picture for you. On any given day, there are clothes strewn about in every room. You can pretty much bet that there will be lights left on, and shoes blocking the doorways. There are dishes in the sink, and the garbage is almost always over flowing. Laundry is looking more and more like Mt. St. Laundry, and there always seems to be something sticky on the bathroom floors, and the kitchen floor.
Now as I have stated D and I have been blessed with five beautiful children. However, because they are indeed children, their version of clean, and my version are completely different. While I strive to maintain order, and cleanliness in our home, my children would much rather be striving to maintain silliness, laughter, and joy in our home. This I believe what a loving reminder from my heavenly Father this morning, that is more important that I live in a home, rather than a house.
GOD knows my heart best, and HE knows that I absolutely detest clutter. So much in fact, that when there is clutter, and chaos, I lose it. I become easily agitated, and begin to lash out at my loved ones.
This past week my oldest daughters and I have been working diligently in making our house a home. We have hung curtains, decorated, washed floors, cupboards, lit candles, cooked, and even baked. We have created an inviting space room by room in our new house.
It has been my prayer that our house would be a place for us to call home. However, just as my children and I have a different version of clean, so do GOD and I in what makes a house a home. Today HE is asking me to release my clenched fists and trust HIM with all that I am and with everything that I have. HE is wanting me to know that I need not be so focused on the condition of our home, but rather the hearts that reside in it. HE has let me know that is far more important for me to model to model CHRISTS love to my children, than how shiny the kitchen floor is. HE has let me know that HE would much rather have me let laundry pile up, and spend time with my children, as my time is so very fleeting with them.
Today I am thankful that D and I have both received the same message about the importance of residing in a home, and NOT a house. I am thankful that I am married to a man who loves and understands me, and knows just how badly I am affected by clutter. D knows that when I feel as if though my life is full of clutter, I feel out of sorts. D knows that follows by feeling unaccomplished, and frazzled. Which then leads to ultimately feeling like a failure. Failure as a wife and a mama. Failure to keep our home neat and tidy. Failure that our home is never "company ready." What I have learned is that GOD is not a failure, and anything that I lack in, HE more than makes up for. Therefore, I must seek HIM earnestly, and ask HIM to teach, lead, and guide me through every single moment of my life.
Today I am thankful for these words written by Lysa Terkeurst "I could have a neat and tidy house where things never get lost, misplaced, or broken if there were no others living there but me."
As I began to think about that statement, I began to think about my upbringing and how I felt growing up as a child, who was taught that her worth would be found in what she did, and not who she was. Growing up that way, was very damaging for me, and it took years of spending time in HIS word for me to fully understand that its not about what I do, but about WHOSE I am.
I am realizing that I would much rather have home full of life, joy, laughter, and fun., than a neat and tidy house, where you could eat off the kitchen floor. Today HE has captured my heart once again about the things that really matter, and what matters right this very moment is this: How boring my life would be without these amazing loud, fun, silly people whom I get to live life with every single day!
Someone once wrote me and let me know just how blessed I am. At the time, I wasn't feeling very blessed, as I was going through a major storm myself, however, when I think back to their words now, I can see that it was the beginning of this reoccurring theme in my life of a difference between a house or a home. They told me that because I have a home which is filled with my family, then I have been truly blessed beyond all measure.
Oh how true those words are to me today! So today when you stop by my house, I will tell you to come on in, have a seat, and ask you if I could get you something to drink. Today when you stop by my house and want a tour to see how unpacking is going, I will gladly show you this amazing blessing that GOD has blessed us with. Today when you stop by my house, I will tell you just how happy we are to be able to call this our "home."
I pray today that you will seek HIM and ask HIM to reveal to you whether you live in a house or a home. I pray today that you will let go of the desire to compete with what the world is telling you about what matters most. I pray today that you will see that when you have JESUS at the center, then you will be able to call the place where you reside "home."
Blessings,
Heather
Friday, October 4, 2013
"the climb"
One short month ago, D interviewed for a job that he wasn't really sure he wanted or not. He called me right after his interview, and said, "I think it went ok, it would be a great job for me, but I'm not sure that I got it or not." He went on to tell me that they would let him know in a few days. Forty-five minutes later I received a text from him saying that they were making him an offer. Two short hours later D walked through our front door with the biggest smile on his face, and so began the planning for our next big adventure!
Blessings,
Heather
That night D and I talked about what his taking the job would look like for our family. We talked about how quickly this would mean that we would have to find a house, and give notice to our current landlord. The biggest topic of discussion was how we were going to break the news to our children. This in itself proved to be the most challenging part of our preparation.
We sat the children down for a family meeting, and were immediately met with questions, and pure defiance. Something along the lines of our oldest daughter leading with, "what?!? My whole life is here, my church, my friends, my school! You are ruining my life! I am NOT living with you I am moving in with my friend!" This was to be followed by our second oldest daughter saying, "I am NOT living with you, I am moving in with my friend!" Lastly our youngest daughter spoke with her hands on her hips stating very matter of fact, "I am NOT living with you, I do NOT know where I am going, but I am NOT going with you!"
I remember looking at D, and prayed, "oh dear LORD JESUS, please, oh please, change the hearts and minds of these three girls." The meeting ended that night with tears, hugs, and lots of more tears. I could tell D was having a really hard time being excited anymore about this amazing career opportunity that he had just been blessed with. I knew that this was going to be one of our toughest challenges yet as a family.
This past months preparation has been a HUGE part of "the climb" of my spiritual journey. When I asked GOD to take me to new heights in my faith, I never realized just what "the climb" would have me endure. For the first few weeks finding a house for our family to call home would prove to be very difficult. House after house that D and I would look at, apply for, and eventually be turned down. With each turn down, it felt as a let down of my faith. I know I was supposed to stay strong, and be confident of my faith in HIM, but the truth is, I was barely hanging on.
When I look back on my ten year journey with CHRIST, I can honestly say that I doubted HIM at first. I didn't truly grasp the concept of FAITH. I failed to understand what it meant to trust HIM fully. However, this past month HE has revealed HIMSELF so magnificently that there is NO more doubting HIM. I know that HE is who HE says HE is, and HE does what HE says HE will do!
These days that only doubts I have are of myself, and mostly that is centered around whether or not I have the courage & discernment to know that it is really HIM who is speaking to me. This past month, I have come to know and recognize HIS voice above all else. I have come to depend on HIM fully to aide me in "the climb" of my spiritual journey.
HIS Daily Teachings today is HIM wanting me to know and understand that I must trust and know HIM fully. HE is wanting me to know that it is HIM that I must rely on to teach, lead, and guide me through every single moment of my life.
I am learning that "the climb" is NOT possible without HIM. Therefore, I must trust that HE is who HE says HE is, and HE will do what HE says HE will do. I am learning that in order to endure "the climb" my belief in HIM must be solid.
"Therefore, with minds that are alert and fully sober, set your hope on the grace to be brought to you when Jesus Christ is revealed at his coming. As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance. But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; for it is written: “Be holy, because I am holy.” 1 Peter 1:13-16
HE has revealed to me that in order to be able to discern that it is HIM speaking to me, I must prepare my mind for action. I am learning that I will prepare my mind for action by practicing self-control. I know that my hope is in HIM through HIS unending grace that has been gifted to me. Therefore, I must be obedient, and turn my back on all things that are evil. HE has revealed to me that as a CHRIST follower I am called to be HOLY just as HE is HOLY!
I am learning that in order to be truly HOLY the way HE intended, I must clothe myself in HIS righteousness, and in doing so I must surrender so that I will rely fully on HIM for "the climb" of my spiritual journey.
HE never ceases to amaze me as HE reveals things to me in themes for HIS Daily Teachings. As I am typing right now, HE is wanting me to share another part of my journey that has been proven to be very difficult for me. This part is sort of embarrassing for me as it is about my T.V. addiction. If I haven't previously written about it in my blog, well I will say it now, "Hi my name is Heather and I am completely addicted to TRASH T.V."
Whew, there I typed it, and well honestly, I wish I wasn't addicted, but I am. There is something about watching mindless T.V. that just makes all things that are difficult in my life seem to disappear for a few hours. However, as I "think" I am disappearing HE is letting me know that when I open myself up to be completely consumed by T.V. I am missing out on HIS Daily Teachings for my life. HE has revealed to me that HIS teachings are vital to my well being. I am learning that HIS Daily Teachings are the most important part of "the climb" of my spiritual journey.
Today I am being reminded that in order to pick up my cross and follow HIM and to be able to fully seek HIM, I must surrender to myself. I must let go of my desires, which have been proven to keep me farther away from HIM, and HIS will for my life. In short, HE has revealed to me, that when I only keep time for T..V. watching I miss out on HIS best for my life. HE wants me to seek HIM so that I will be able to discern HIS best for my life.
HE has revealed to me that HE wants me to be fulfilled by HIS strength and be filled by all of HIM. HE wants me to know and fully understand that HIS plans for my life, far outweigh my own. He is telling me that when I open myself up to worldly plans it only carries me further away from HIM. HE has lovingly reminded me that whenever I take on a bad habit it is hard for me to let go. Today HE has revealed to me that my T.V. watching is one of my bad habits.
Today HE has shown me that HE doesn't want my mind to be filled with worldly things. HE wants my desire to be for HIM to teach, lead, and guide me throughout my day to be stronger that my obsession for T.V. watching. I am learning that in order to do what HE is telling me to do, I must choose to say NO to myself, and YES to HIM! I know that I must choose to say YES to HIM so that I will be able to endure "the climb" in this season of my life.
Of all of my bad habits, this will probable be the most difficult for me, as I truly enjoy watching shows. However, because I want HIS best for my life, I will choose to obey HIM, and HIS calling for my life. I must choose to be obedient when HE calls upon me.
"We need not fear what our obedience will cause to happen in our life. WE should only fear what our disobedience will cause us to miss." "What Happens When Women Say YES to GOD" by Lysa Terkeurst
I must meditate on HIS truth so that I will then be filled by HIS peace even when I don't fully understand what HE is demanding during my climb and journey to seek HIM and to know HIM fully.
"We tend to want to see the big picture complete with all the details before stepping out in obedience to GOD."
As D and I were searching for a house to call home, I knew that GOD had the right one already picked out for us. However, in my humanness, and controlling ways, I wanted to know all of the details and of course HE was asking me to go out on blind faith, and trust HIM completely. That itself is another blog, for another day :)
"We long for a cost analysis where we can weigh out what we'd be giving up against what we'd be gaining and then decide if the trade is worth it."
If you could see me right now, you would see that I am raising my hand, "Guilty" I am saying. If things don't line up in my "thinking," then surely they can't really work?!? This I believe is where GOD if HE ever does face palm, must be doing so. Often times I feel HIM say to me, "Why don't you trust me?" The answer is I don't know, because I want to know it all! I want to know where I will end up, what will happen. I have never liked surprises, and because of that I believe that HE has a journey full of surprises in store for me!
I have learned that the more I dread something, the more HE will seek me and teach me NOT to dread it. I am learning this all through "the climb" of my journey with CHRIST. My journey of my life is not about me becoming a new person, but rather it is about me seeking HIM and asking HIM to create in me a purified heart so that I may be prepared and be matured in my faith so that I will be able to fulfill HIS calling for my life.
Today HE has revealed to me that one of the most important parts of "the climb" of my journey is the refining process that HE is putting me through daily. I now understand that this is what HIS Daily Teachings is all about. HE is wanting me to know that I will only be able to follow HIM and HIS will for my life when I surrender and allow HIM to renew and refine me daily.
HE has revealed to me that when I hold onto my desires with a clenched fist, I not only lose the desire to let go... and let GOD, I also lose the desire to give. This loss leads to the loss of my ability to receive. If I have learned anything over this past month is that the more I gave, the more I received. The more I opened my heart to people and HIS calling for my life, the more my life was enriched by HIS love and HIS grace. The more I answered HIS call for my life, the more manageable "the climb" has become in my journey.
I pray today that you will seek HIM and ask HIM to lead you through "the climb" of your spiritual journey. I pray today that you will be able to surrender to the one who knows what is best for you. I pray today that you will have the courage and conviction to seek from HIM what your bad habits are that are keeping you from HIS best for your life. I pray today that HE will reveal HIMSELF to you today that you will be able to know that it is indeed HIM.
Blessings,
Heather
Friday, September 27, 2013
"the call"
It is no secret, that if you know me that during my pregnancy and following the birth of my 5th child I have stated that I am done having children. I have said that I feel overwhelmed with the five that I have, and I can't imagine how I could possibly be a Mama to anymore of GOD'S children. However, as my reality goes, I found myself holding onto the baby clothes which were gifted to me in my time of need. All of the baby furniture, and accessories that little one's need. Pretty much everything that I had for my youngest was a blessing to us in our time of need. I was blown away by HIS goodness each time someone else would say, "Hey I have some things I would like to give you, when would be a good time to drop them off?" I now know and understand that all of the blessings that I received were made possible because of HIS faithful followers who answered "the call."
As I was packing the other day it hit me, "I am no longer in "need" for any of the baby things that I was storing in my home." A peace came over me that if I indeed become pregnant again, HE will be there, just as HE has always been, and will always be. HIS Daily Teachings this morning was to remind me about "the call" that HE has put out on my life. HE is letting me know that with HIM there is NO need for me to worry about anything that pertains to my needs.
HE is teaching me daily that it is about following HIM, and picking up my cross and giving my life to HIM. I am learning that it is about surrendering all of me for HIS good works. This morning at 5 a.m. HE woke me and reminded me of HIS goodness and HIS mercy, and how HE is always there. HE reminded me in the early hours of today that I have asked to be a blessing to other's in my life, so therefore I must answer HIS call when I "hear" HIS "whispers."
Last night one of my closet friends surprised me with a "I am going to miss you so very much, please don't go, but I am so happy for you, but I am going to miss you, I am so glad that I met you, thank you for coming into my life gift." I say that with confidence as HE is the one who brought us together. Today is my last full day in our current home, and I am leaving with a peace, and excitement in my heart for our families next adventure.
Today HE has reminded me just how much other's have answered "the call" that HE placed to them, in loving our family. Lifting up our family in prayer, and keeping me accountable with my daily walk with HIM. HE reminded me of all the times that I have fallen, and how the one's who have answered "the call" that HE placed to them, how it slowly began to transform and renew my heart soul, and mind. I know that I would have never been able to grow in my faith in HIM if it weren't for the special people in my life who answered "the call" that HE placed to them.
HE reminded me of where I was two short years ago, and where my marriage to D was heading. Even just six months ago, I was seriously considering leaving D, as our marriage was anything but on solid ground. My faith had been shaken, and rocked to its core. I was broken, and a hott mess. I was slowly becoming a distant, unloving, uncaring, and if I am being totally honest selfish wife. I was so wrapped up in how difficult my life had become that I failed to see how D's life was being devoured by Satan. I was so "busy" throwing enormous pity parties for myself, that I failed to see just how badly D was being hurt.
In May after many months of praying that GOD would change D, and just make him who he used to be, GOD captured my heart once again. When HE placed "the call" to me about surrendering I was anything but thrilled. In fact, I believe I was angry, angry that once again I was having to take the first step. Angry that I was the one to surrender, and to be dumped upside down, and taught exactly what HE wanted me to know in how to navigate in my life.
Today I am thankful that I answered HIS call, and in answering that call, other's call's were made to me, and I was able to answer them, as my faith in HIM was growing by leaps and bounds. Today I am thankful for that GOD knew, and placed us right where we needed to be to be restored, and transformed. Today I am thankful that each day HE reveals to me that I am HIS masterpiece, and that HE won't be done with me until I am with HIM in heaven. Today I am confident that I am going to spend my eternity in Heaven with HIM, as I have been one who has answered "the call" that HE has placed on my life. Today I will meditate on HIS word's and HIS truth, in knowing, believing, and trusting that HE says who HE says HE is, and HE does what HE say's HE will do. Today I will answer "HIS call" and be a blessing to someone else. Today I will meditate on HIS word which HE has placed before me.
"And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work." 2 Corinthians 9:8-11
" And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28
"So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear? For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." Matthew 6:31-33
All of this was a loving reminder from HIM as I was attending the last "Sisterhood," event at my church. On that night as each of my good friends saw me, they filled me with words of encouragement. They hugged me, and thanked me for being a part of their lives. As I walked to my truck that night, I was in awe of HIS goodness, and I was thankful for every single person who answered "the call" that HE placed to them to bless myself, and my family. HE has reminded me today that it is because of my earnestly seeking HIM daily in my life, that HE has, and will continue to reveal HIMSELF to me, and pour HIS favor and blessings over my life because of my obedience. HE is letting me know that it is only through my obedience that I will be able to "endure" the storms of my life. I have learned that I must be willing to answer "the call" that HE places to me in order to not only grow my faith in HIM, but be a model for CHRIST to others.
"And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him." Hebrews 11:6
I pray today that HE will reveal to you the ones who have answered "the call" that HE placed to them to bless you. I pray today that you will answer "the call" that HE places on your life. I pray today that you will be a blessing to someone. I pray that your life will be a living testament of HIS goodness, HIS mercy, HIS grace, and HIS love. I pray today that you will be able to answer "HIS call" with confidence.
Blessings,
Heather
Wednesday, September 25, 2013
pray without ceasing
I will be the first to admit that I don't always pray without ceasing. However, this past January when I read the "Circle Maker" by Mark Batterson, I began to pray bold audacious prayers. I prayed for three very specific things. However, I didn't realize that in praying for those three things, I was saying, "I trust YOU GOD, and I know that YOU will answer my prayers, as they all require YOUR divine intervention.
My first prayer was centered around us getting a bigger vehicle, so we wouldn't have to turn away anymore kids on Wednesday nights for youth group. It was breaking my heart that week after week, we were having to turn kids away, as we didn't have enough room to take them all. So I boldly began to pray without ceasing. However, in my humanness, I now know that even when I "thought" I was praying without ceasing, I was putting limits on what HE was capable of doing for us.
My second prayer was for D to be blessed with a better job. D was miserable in his job, and that in turn made our marriage, and our family life miserable. Week after week we attended church, and smiled, when inside I think we all were dying just a little more as each day passed. To be honest, I was praying that GOD would change him, as he was the one with the problem. However, in May GOD captured my heart, and said, "let me change you, let me use you to get to him." With that, I fully surrender, and so began this wild ride that we have been on ever since.
My third prayer, was probably the hardest one of the three. As I in my little "thinking" and manipulation, and distrust for HIM "thought" that I would be in control of choosing where we would live. At first I "thought" that HE was going to move us to a bigger home in our current town. Then when D said that HE was open to going anywhere for a job, I began to pray that GOD would move us to GA so that we could live life with my brother and his family. The very thought that GOD would move us there was so exciting. I began to envision us living there, and just how great it would be. As each day passed, my expectations grew more and more, and the more my expectations grew, the more HE was trying to tell me that "Hey Heather, um your not running this show, I am."
I should say, and well I should know by now that when the great "I am" speaks, I must listen. HE was letting me know that HE wouldn't answer my third prayer, until first I prayed without ceasing, meaning I put all of my trust in HIM that HE would do just that. Second, I wouldn't "try" to manipulate anything, and I would wait patiently.... (huh?) Third, I would wait patiently, and trust HIM fully.
So there I was waiting, trusting, praying, crying, being brought to my knees daily. It was killing me to know that I wasn't in control. It was so hard for me to let go... and let GOD be in full control. I was going on blind faith, and praying without ceasing, and trusting HIM that HE would bless us with the right home. However, even when I "thought" I was trusting HIM fully, I was still "trying" to make things go the way I "thought" they should go.
For days on end, I was crying, and packing up our home. I was staging our home for new people to come in and view it for rent. I was crying, and on my knees daily, and begging HIM to reveal to me HIS plans for our family. Finally two Saturday's ago GOD allowed us to view a house in a town that I never would have imagined we would move to. Well I should say at first I "thought" we would live there, but as soon as we saw what was available, we began to search for something "more." However, what I am learning is that when HE has planned something for us, HE will make sure that I understand that HE is the one in control and not me.
As we walked through the house, I could sense that this may indeed be the house for us to call "home." However, GOD was through with me yet, HE had one more test of my faith that I needed to endure. When we first tried to secure the house, someone came out of nowhere, and put down a years worth of rent on the place. I was crushed, well devastated. I was scared, worried, and cried my heart out to HIM. D had just left for his 1st week at his new job, and we were homeless, and I was beginning to feel "hopeless." Thankfully GOD knew that, and before I could cry anymore HE blessed us with that house. HE made it so that the owners eyes were opened up to renting to us, and not the other person. HE made it so that they would accept less money for rent from us, so that we wouldn't have to live for our house.
Even as I sit here typing this all out, GOD has revealed even more to be about what my prayers have been. I have even forgotten some of the things I have prayed for in the past. I am learning that HE expects me to pray without ceasing. I am learning that HE is waiting for me to surrender my thoughts, and let go.... and let HIM be the one in charge of my future. I am learning that it is only through surrendering to HIM that HE can, will, and does, pour HIS favor and blessings all over me.
Today I am thankful that I serve a GOD who saves, who loves me unconditionally. I am thankful that HE answers each one of my cries for help, and HE answers every single one of my prayers that I have prayed without ceasing. I am thankful that HE has made my life a living testament that HE is who HE says HE is, and HE does what HE says HE will do. I am confident in my faith, as I have been humbled, and blessed by HIS unending love, mercy, and grace.
I pray today that you will seek HIM, and that you will pray without ceasing. I pray today that HE will reveal HIMSELF to you in your life, so that you will know that it is HIM who is in control of your life. I pray that you will make HIM your first priority, so that the rest of the pieces will fall in place when HE is first in your life. I pray today that you will boldly go before the throne and pray without ceasing. I pray that HE will bless you beyond measure for your obedience when you pray without ceasing.
Blessings,
Heather
My first prayer was centered around us getting a bigger vehicle, so we wouldn't have to turn away anymore kids on Wednesday nights for youth group. It was breaking my heart that week after week, we were having to turn kids away, as we didn't have enough room to take them all. So I boldly began to pray without ceasing. However, in my humanness, I now know that even when I "thought" I was praying without ceasing, I was putting limits on what HE was capable of doing for us.
My second prayer was for D to be blessed with a better job. D was miserable in his job, and that in turn made our marriage, and our family life miserable. Week after week we attended church, and smiled, when inside I think we all were dying just a little more as each day passed. To be honest, I was praying that GOD would change him, as he was the one with the problem. However, in May GOD captured my heart, and said, "let me change you, let me use you to get to him." With that, I fully surrender, and so began this wild ride that we have been on ever since.
My third prayer, was probably the hardest one of the three. As I in my little "thinking" and manipulation, and distrust for HIM "thought" that I would be in control of choosing where we would live. At first I "thought" that HE was going to move us to a bigger home in our current town. Then when D said that HE was open to going anywhere for a job, I began to pray that GOD would move us to GA so that we could live life with my brother and his family. The very thought that GOD would move us there was so exciting. I began to envision us living there, and just how great it would be. As each day passed, my expectations grew more and more, and the more my expectations grew, the more HE was trying to tell me that "Hey Heather, um your not running this show, I am."
I should say, and well I should know by now that when the great "I am" speaks, I must listen. HE was letting me know that HE wouldn't answer my third prayer, until first I prayed without ceasing, meaning I put all of my trust in HIM that HE would do just that. Second, I wouldn't "try" to manipulate anything, and I would wait patiently.... (huh?) Third, I would wait patiently, and trust HIM fully.
So there I was waiting, trusting, praying, crying, being brought to my knees daily. It was killing me to know that I wasn't in control. It was so hard for me to let go... and let GOD be in full control. I was going on blind faith, and praying without ceasing, and trusting HIM that HE would bless us with the right home. However, even when I "thought" I was trusting HIM fully, I was still "trying" to make things go the way I "thought" they should go.
For days on end, I was crying, and packing up our home. I was staging our home for new people to come in and view it for rent. I was crying, and on my knees daily, and begging HIM to reveal to me HIS plans for our family. Finally two Saturday's ago GOD allowed us to view a house in a town that I never would have imagined we would move to. Well I should say at first I "thought" we would live there, but as soon as we saw what was available, we began to search for something "more." However, what I am learning is that when HE has planned something for us, HE will make sure that I understand that HE is the one in control and not me.
As we walked through the house, I could sense that this may indeed be the house for us to call "home." However, GOD was through with me yet, HE had one more test of my faith that I needed to endure. When we first tried to secure the house, someone came out of nowhere, and put down a years worth of rent on the place. I was crushed, well devastated. I was scared, worried, and cried my heart out to HIM. D had just left for his 1st week at his new job, and we were homeless, and I was beginning to feel "hopeless." Thankfully GOD knew that, and before I could cry anymore HE blessed us with that house. HE made it so that the owners eyes were opened up to renting to us, and not the other person. HE made it so that they would accept less money for rent from us, so that we wouldn't have to live for our house.
Even as I sit here typing this all out, GOD has revealed even more to be about what my prayers have been. I have even forgotten some of the things I have prayed for in the past. I am learning that HE expects me to pray without ceasing. I am learning that HE is waiting for me to surrender my thoughts, and let go.... and let HIM be the one in charge of my future. I am learning that it is only through surrendering to HIM that HE can, will, and does, pour HIS favor and blessings all over me.
Today I am thankful that I serve a GOD who saves, who loves me unconditionally. I am thankful that HE answers each one of my cries for help, and HE answers every single one of my prayers that I have prayed without ceasing. I am thankful that HE has made my life a living testament that HE is who HE says HE is, and HE does what HE says HE will do. I am confident in my faith, as I have been humbled, and blessed by HIS unending love, mercy, and grace.
I pray today that you will seek HIM, and that you will pray without ceasing. I pray today that HE will reveal HIMSELF to you in your life, so that you will know that it is HIM who is in control of your life. I pray that you will make HIM your first priority, so that the rest of the pieces will fall in place when HE is first in your life. I pray today that you will boldly go before the throne and pray without ceasing. I pray that HE will bless you beyond measure for your obedience when you pray without ceasing.
Blessings,
Heather
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