HIS timing

The clock read 3:38 a.m. this morning, I could feel HIS gentle nudge in telling me that it was time for HIS Daily Teachings.  Normally that time would throw me off and I would fight HIM thinking, surely I needed sleep more than I needed to hear right right at that moment.  However, since Friday night, HE has been stirring something up inside of me.  Something that I never really gave much thought to, until I was act directly the one question which I have always dreaded.

D and I went out Friday on date night for the first time since the start of our latest adventure.  We were enjoying our food, each other's company, and the warm and gentle kindness of our waitress.  Each time as she came back to the table she asked us more about ourselves.  Laughter, and smiles filled our conversations, and she shared a little bit about herself as well.  Towards the end of our meal she asked us, "Did you two always plan on having five children?"  I thought to myself, oh here we go again, how am I going to answer that question this time.  Little did I know that GOD was up to something BIG, and it wasn't until this morning that I realized just how BIG.

I said a breath prayer, and before I knew it these words came out of my mouth, "We never really planned per say, but GOD did, HE knew exactly when we were to have our children.  HE made me a Mama at the young age of twenty, and then nineteen short months later I became a Mama for the second time.  As we learned of the impending birth of each of our children, we were amazed, but each time when they arrived it was just as exciting as the first time we became parents.  Each of them were made specifically for our family, and they are each lovely and wonderful in their own special way.  

Our waitress looked at me with tears in her eyes and said, "that was such a beautiful way of saying how HIS timing has been perfect for your family."  I was even in awe of my own answer, and though I didn't realize it then, I know now that it was HIS HOLY SPIRIT that was doing the talking.

HIS Daily Teachings today is HIS loving reminder that everything that has happened in our family has been all through HIS timing.  HIS timing has become crucial in my thinking, and understanding of how to become more CHRIST-like as each day passes.  This morning the theme of contentment that has been swirling around in my mind has come to fruition.

HE is teaching me that in order for me to be like HIM, I must be accepting, of HIS timing, and be content in being right where HE has placed me.  HE is wanting me to know that nothing in my life or my children's lives have been by chance.

"But godliness with contentment is great gain." 1 Timothy 6:6

Each morning I journal the current status of my heart, and this morning I wrote, "Lord Jesus, I want and desire that ordinary, plain and simple, typical everyday love and life for my children.  I want a legacy of faith for them, not tragic circumstances that bring us together.  I would never want my children to have to endure the pain I did.  Help me to reach and console the tender hearts of my children.  Help me to be the Mama YOU have called me to be for them."

With a heavy heart I wrote that, and HE slowly began working in me.  HE is telling me that the only way I can truly be the Mama HE has called me to be is by TRUSTING in HIS timing that everything has happened, is happening, and will continue to happen just as HE has planned.  

"Motherhood is being in a partnership with GOD."

HE is telling me that even though D and I didn't plan on having five children in the beginning of our marriage, HE did.  HE is wanting me to remember that the birth of each of my children have been a miracle through HIS timing.  HE is reminding me once again that each of them were born at just the right time for our family, and they each have their own unique fit into the makings of our family.  

This morning HE has me focused on our oldest daughter M.  She is our first born, our stubborn, strong-willed, full of life, compassionate, world-changing daughter.  She doesn't back down, she's persistent in every way.  Her passion and zest for life is unmatched by any of her siblings.  Her ability to forgive and extend grace keep her Daddy and I in complete awe.  She doesn't let the pressure of being the oldest keep her from being CHRIST-like.  She doesn't give into the pressure and stress that any of us put on her.  She doesn't let her peers change her, instead she loves them just as they are, and though it may not happen right away, most of the time they end up coming around and seeing that she truly is a genuine person.

M ~ Daddy and I are in constant awe of you.  I am so honored and blessed to call you mine.  I never knew love until I had you, and I pinched myself each time I looked at you on the night you were born.  Never would I have imagined the amazing young woman you have grown to become, and I know now that it has all been through HIS timing.  I can't wait to see what HE is going to do with you next!  Keep being a world-changer and not a world-pleaser.   Keep blowing us all away with your love and compassion that in unmatched.  I love you more than my words could ever say. ~ Mama

"As a Mother my job is to take care of the possible, and trust GOD with the impossible."

Ruth Bell Graham

This morning HE has revealed to me that HE has absolutely NO interest in making sure that I am like other mom's.  HE is wanting me to know that I must let go of my jealously of how other moms are with their children.  HE is telling me that I am the only one who is upset, that I am not that pinterest, baking everyday, crafty, artistic, Suzy homemaker ready with brownies, soft spoken, Mom.  I am however, Mama to five of HIS amazing blessings.  A Mama who has been given the capacity to see beyond what is on the surface, who loves her children fiercely, who would do what the LORD calls me to do in order to raise them to be CHRIST-like.  HIS words this morning have given me even more reasons not to hang onto the jealousy that has been closing in on me for quite some time now.

"Jealousy is a very powerful and a very negative emotion that wars against our ability to accept all that happens to us as coming from the hands of a good GOD." Kendra Smiley

"Anger is cruel and fury overwhelming,but who can stand before jealousy?" Proverbs 27:4

HE is letting me know that the jealousy I allow in my heart, is keeping me in bondage with Satan, and is keeping me from having a content heart.  Therefore, I must trust HIM that HIS plans are far greater than what "my plans" are for my life.  I must trust that what HE has in store for me is NOT always going to be what HE has in store for other moms.

HE is wanting me to know that HE doesn't want my comparison of myself to other mom's to get in the way of my contentment in being the Mama HE has called me to be.  HE is wanting me to TRUST HIM completely and know that HIS timing is perfect!

"I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances." Philippians 4:11

"GOD calls me to be content, not complacent, but content" 

"Comparison is a game with NO winners."

Today HE is wanting me to stop asking Why things are the way they are, and TRUST HIS timing, and know and BELIEVE that HE is who HE says HE is, and everything that happens in my life is for HIS plans and HIS purpose, and even when it's hard, or heartbreaking, HE can, will, and does make everything work together for my own good.  HE is telling me that I need to start asking HIM "what."  For me that would mean asking HIM, "what can I learn from the current situation I am in?"  "What does this move mean for our family?"  "What can I do as their Mama to help them adjust and transition?"  

This morning HE is telling me that the only thing I can do is my best.  HE is telling me, "Do your best, and let ME take care of the rest!"  "Ask me to change you, and not worry about me changing them!"

"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;your works are wonderful,I know that full well." Psalm 139:14

HE is wanting me to remember that all of life is precious, and each and every single one of else was created just the way HE had intended.  So today I ask HIM, "LORD create in me a content heart, one that is NOT jealous, one that loves beyond reason, and is accepting of people just as they are."  It is because of HIS Daily Teaching today that I now know that I must choose contentment over comparison.

"A child is a gift whose worth cannot be measured except by the heart." Theresa Ann Hunt

HE is reminding me that HE is SOVEREIGN and HE has a great plan for each of my children.  Therefore, I must TRUST HIM, and I must choose to be content!

"A Mother understands what a child does not say." Jewish Proverb

This very statement couldn't be more true for my life.  So many times D has struggled to understand what is going on with our children, and after only a few minutes speaking with them, I am able to sense that there is much more than meets the eye.  HE is wanting me to know that I am able to do this, because I have been blessed with HIS mercy, HIS discernment, and HIS wisdom.  I know that it is because I am choosing to seek HIM, and ask HIM to teach, lead, and guide me every single day, that I am able to understand that everything that has happened is happening, and will happen is all because of HIS timing.

HIS final reminder to me this morning is this: "I have brought you right where you are, in order to grown you in your faith for ME, so please just TRUST ME and be content that I know what is best for you!"

I pray today that you will know that everything that happens in your life, is all in HIS timing.  I pray that if you are in a season of waiting, and you are faithful, that you will know that HIS timing is perfect, and at just the right exact moment HE will bless you beyond measure.  I pray that you will know the cries of your heart are being heard, and in HIS perfect timing, HE will answer your prayers.

Blessings,
Heather 

HIS light

Each time HE takes me back into my past, especially to my childhood, I can't help but to feel sad.  As I have written before, I didn't have a very happy childhood.  Today I was reminded of what my daily life used to be like when I lived with my parents.  Though I wasn't being physically abused, I was however being verbally abused.  Not only by my parents, but by my older brother.  

We had a very volatile relationship that was filled with hitting, screaming, biting, punching, kicking, you name it we did it.  Our fighting had become so bad, that when I was just eight years old I was rushed to the hospital as I was in horrendous pain,  and it was later that I was diagnosed with my first ulcer.  We grew up hating one another, not even know the personal hell that we were both enduring.

Sadly it would be many years later before HIS light would shine on the years of lies and manipulations that tore us apart.  I will NEVER forget the first time he and I discussed at length the lies that we had both been told about one another.  I will NEVER forget how hard I cried, as we had been robbed of our relationship for so many years.

HIS Daily Teachings today was HIS loving reminder that even when all hope seems lost, HE is there, just as HE was so many years ago, even when I didn't know it.  As I have written in a previous post, my favorite song when I was around nine years of age was "I will be Here for You" by Michael W. Smith.  My most favorite line the song was "I'll shine a light for you."   Just thinking about those times where I would sit on my bed, rewinding the cassette tape to that part, over and over I would listen to it.  Even then when I didn't know how I would get through another day, HE did, and I know now that HE was shining HIS light on me.

Today HE is telling me that HE sees me worrying, about well pretty much everything.  HE is wanting me to know that just as HE had everything in HIS hands then, HE most certainly has them in HIS hands now.  HE has reminded me this morning through my loving relationship with my brother, that HE truly does make all things come together for my own good.  I am so thankful that we are able to talk about the tough stuff, and still smile, and sometimes even laugh.  I am so thankful that just as I am walking with HIM daily, so is my brother.  I am so thankful that he is leading his family as a strong man of GOD, who despite the circumstances of his life has chosen JOY and has chosen to be led by HIS light.

J ~ if you are reading this, I just want you to know how much I love and adore you!  I am so incredibly proud of the Man you have become, and I am honored to be your sister.  I am thankful for the time that HE has blessed us with, and so thankful that HE has freed us both from the darkness with HIS light.  I love you more than you could ever know.

I am in awe that what I "thought" would be HIS Daily Teaching today, is not what HE is really wanting me to know.  I am thankful that once again, HE knows what is best for me, and I know that when I ask HIM to teach, lead, and guide me, HE does, HE can, and HE most definitely will. I am thankful that HIS presence is known to me everyday, and that HE shines HIS light on the things that frighten me, and that through HIS truth, HIS word, I know that with HIM I need NOT to worry about anything!

"Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." 1 Peter 5:7

Once again, HE is telling me that HE doesn't want me to worry about anything, and is showing me that it is through HIS plan and HIS purpose that HE is building me to be one of HIS prayer warriors.  I am learning that when I feel the darkness closing in on me, I must pray!  I must wait for HIM, and I must trust that HE will shine HIS light on me in the darkness that threatens me.

 "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7

HE is wanting me to know that HE sees me struggling with bondage's that Satan and HIS demon's have tied to me.  HE is wanting me to know that when I call upon HIS name, HIS will lead me to where my trust is without borders, where HE will take me deeper into my faith that I could have ever imagined.  HE is teaching me that even when it seems that all hope is lost, HE is there, HE will shine HIS light, HE will rescue me!

Today HE is wanting me to understand and let go of things that are binding me to the darkness.  HE is showing me that despair, guilt, pride, fear, and worry are a part of Satan's plans to wipe me out.  Therefore I must choose to see that HE will be there for me..... ALWAYS!  I must know that the choices someone else made were not , are not, my fault.  HE is wanting me to know that it is good for me to admit where I fall short, as I know that where I fall short, HE more than makes up for it!  Once again HE is proving to me that even when things are the worse they have ever been, HE is there, therefore I must pray and cast ALL of my fears and anxiety on HIM.  HE is telling me that HIS light should be my reminder, that HE is there, and HE will carry my burdens for me, all I have to do is let go.  I must choose to see that HIS light as HE is waiting to rescue me from the darkness that threatens my very existence.

"I lift up my eyes to the mountains— where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord,the Maker of heaven and earth." Psalm 121:1-2

"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:34

"Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its JOY."  Leo Buscaglia

"Blessed is the man who is too busy to worry in the daytime and too sleepy to worry at night."

HE is wanting me to know that just as HE was there during my darkest hours, HE will continue to be there. HE is telling me that I need NOT to worry about anything, that HE will supply and meet all of my needs with HIS abundance.  HE is teaching me that I must keep my faith strong in HIM, that even when darkness is looming, HIS light is shining bright.  I must choose to TRUST HIM, and let go..... and let HIM take all of my cares, and let HIM teach, lead, and guide me through every single step of my journey towards wholeness.

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes?  Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?" Matthew 6:25-27

The more I sit here thinking about what HE is saying to me this morning, the more I am asking myself, "why is it that I "think" that my life would be better if I were in complete control?"  I know that I am foolish for thinking that way, as HE has proven time and again that HIS plans for my life have been far greater than I could have ever imagined.  Therefore, I know I must choose to see HIS light, and let go of my incessant "need" to be in control and start living with HIM leading me.

"Worry is like a rocking chair, It gives you something to do, but doesn't get you anywhere."

HE is teaching me that even though in my past life the ground was being cultivated for me to worry, HE can, HE will, and HE does rescue me.  HE always gives me a way out, and HE sends HIS loving reminder that HE is there by shining HIS light!

"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10

Today I am grateful that once again HE has taken me back to my past, and has shown me again, and proven to me once again that HE has always been there.  I am thankful that because I know that, I know that I have nothing to fear in my future.  I am thankful that HE calls upon me everyday to be a prayer warrior in HIS army, and that I know that HE hears and answers every single one of my prayers.

I pray today that you will know that in the darkness HE will shine HIS light for you.  I pray that you will see that HE is there for you always.  I pray that HE will fill you with HIS hope, HIS love, HIS grace, and HIS mercy.  I pray that no matter what has happened in your life, whether you chose for it to happen or not, HE loves you, HIS love is unconditional.  HE is waiting, waiting for you to open the door of your heart to HIM.  I pray that you know that when you see HIS light you know that you can always come home.

Blessings,
Heather 

JOY

Last night D and I were going to have "date night," however after assessing how cold it was outside, we decided to stay in.  From there, things just went sour.  What was to be a happy relaxing night, became a night of tears, anxiety, stress, and him saying to me, "I miss my happy cheerful wife, is she still in there?"

I stayed up really late, feeling like such a failure that "date night" was ruined because of me.  I went to bed asking GOD please, LORD, please help me find my JOY again.  Even thought I was asking, I was doubtful that I would be able to find my JOY again.

I laughed this morning when I realized what HIS Daily Teachings would be about today.  Today HE is wanting me to know that in all circumstances there is JOY to be found.  HE has let me know that I have let the JOY robber, steal my JOY for far too long.

"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." John 10:10

I wasn't sure at first what book I was to read, or what scripture HE wanted me to read, and after about 5 minutes of sitting and wondering, HE led me straight to Kendra Smiley's book titled: "Empowering Choices." I have had this book for roughly eh, four years.  I bought it at one of the Hearts at Home National Conferences one year.  I had intended on reading it right way, however due to my life's circumstances I had yet to read it.  Well actually I read one chapter, and then tucked it away, stating,  "this is NOT the book for me!"

I have come to the conclusion that surely I must humor GOD, as I am always making a fool of myself, and what HE is trying to tell me.  I am forever "thinking" that I know what is best for me, and what I really "need."  Once again, humble pie awaits for me.  Once again, I have been brought to me knees in seeking HIM, and asking HIM to teach, lead, and guide me through every single step of my journey.

HE is wanting me to know that I will be able to choose JOY in HIM through my prayers.  HE is telling me that though my life may be difficult, HE wants me to choose JOY so that I will NOT be overcome with sadness, hatred, anger, strife, or worry.  HE is teaching me that I, Heather, a broken hott-mess can laugh, despite what has happened, is happening, and will happen to me.  HE has reminded me once again, that when I seek HIM, HE answers my calls, and therefore I BELIEVE in miracles, and that with HIM there is always HOPE and always JOY to be found!

"And I, when I am lifted up from the earth, will draw all people to myself.” John 12:32

"That is why I am suffering as I am. Yet this is no cause for shame, because I know whom I have believed, and am convinced that he is able to guard what I have entrusted to him until that day." 2 Timothy 1:12

HE is wanting me to remember that even when I "feel" the JOY robber (Satan) creeping in on me, I must remember that HE is always there for me, and in HIM there is always HOPE and JOY to be found.  HE is wanting me to remember that in all my times of trouble, trials, and storms of my life, HE has been there, is there, and will continue to be there.  HE is wanting me to declare that when I chose HIM, I chose HIS JOY, HIS HOPE, HIS LOVE, HIS MERCY, HIS GRACE, HIS FORGIVENESS, and in knowing that I chose all of those things, I know that HE will never leave me, nor will HE ever forget about me.

“Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” Hebrews 13:5

"I have held many things in my hands and have lost them all;  But the things I have placed in GOD's hands those I always possess."  Earline Steelburg

Once again, HE is teaching me that "my ways" are NOT  "HIS ways," and for that I am thankful.  I am comforted in knowing that HE truly is the perfect gift for me.  I know that I can feel at peace, as HE is the reason that I am going to one day be able to live an eternal life in HEAVEN with HIM and HIS FATHER.  I am grateful, and thankful that HE saved me right when HE did, and for giving me the courage to be at peace with my past, content with my present, and now because of choosing to be filled by HIS HOPE and HIS JOY I can be excited about my future.  I know who holds my future, and I know that my future is being held in HIS more than capable hands.

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord."
Isaiah 55:8

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

HE is teaching me once again that with HIM there is always hope.  I do BELIEVE in miracles, as it is truly a miracle that I am still here living this life.  I do BELIEVE in miracles, as it is truly a miracle that D and I are still married, despite of everything we have been through in our 18.5 years together.   The other night D and I were talking, and I asked him, "If tonight were our last night together, what would you say to me."  He took a moment, and then looked at me and said, "It's been amazing crazy ride!"  Wow if that isn't the truth.

This morning HE has reminded me that D and I have been able to endure some really tough things in our marriage, and we have somehow been able to smile through it all.  HE has shown me that even though our life's circumstances have been viewed as more than hopeless, we have found HOPE in HIM.  I know that HE has taken me down memory lane once again to show me that my life's trials right now are nothing compared to what I have gone through in my past, therefore I must choose JOY, as that truly is HIS plan and HIS purpose for my life!

"Daily prayers will diminish your cares" Betty Mill

HE is wanting me to know that in choosing JOY there is no room for "what ifs and if onlys."  HE is telling me that I must strike those two life-draining thoughts from my vocabulary.  HE is wanting me to know that HIS plans have absolutely NO room for me looking back.  HE is telling me that HE wants me to keep my eyes pointed forward, centered on HIM.  I am learning that HE wants me to continue to seek HIM daily and ask HIM to teach, lead, and guide me through every single step of my journey.

HE is lovingly reminding me this morning that this is the reason HE died for me, for GOD's purpose and GOD's plans, for not only me, but for everyone who BELIEVES that JESUS CHRIST is the SON of GOD, and that HE was a gift, sent to EARTH, to teach us, how to live our lives, who was crucified, and died on the cross, for my sins, and the world's sins.  HE WHO OVERCAME DEATH!  WHO rose from the grave, all so that one day I, and the rest of HIS followers could join HIM and HIS FATHER in HEAVEN.  IF that isn't enough to be JOYFUL about then, I don't know what is!

" For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." John 3:16

I am in awe, as I didn't even realize how much HIS Daily Teachings would affect me today.  As I sit here typing, I am being overcome with emotions that I haven't  had in so long.  I am in awe that once again, I can look at my life's circumstances, and choose JOY as I know that HE is growing me, and stretching my FAITH in HIM even further.  I am thankful that HE never wants to keep me at the same level of FAITH, that HE will continue to grow, and move me further in my commitment with HIM.

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,whenever you face trials of many kinds" 
James 1:2

Today I am thankful as I am being reminded by another song of WHO HE is, and WHAT HE has done, is doing, and will continue to do in my life.

"Joy unspeakable that won't go away, Just enough strength to live for the day, So I never have to worry what tomorrow will bring,  'Cause my faith's on solid rock and I'm counting on God" "Counting on GOD" Phillips, Craig & Dean

I am thankful for HIS loving reminder that had I not lived the life that I have, I wouldn't be able to write this blog.  I most likely won't have the level of compassion for other's as I do.  I know that it is because of my life happenings that I have been blessed with HIS MERCY, DISCERNMENT, and WISDOM.  HE truly has taken my broken mess, and turned it into HIS beautiful MESS-AGE!

"Happiness is based on happenings.  JOY is an inside job.  It is a fruit of HIS HOLY SPIRIT." Kendra Smiley "Empowering Choices"

This is so true for my life, therefore I know that I must choose JOY!

"Laugh Often, Laugh Much!"

"Laughter is a tranquilizer with no side effects!" Arnold Glasow

"A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones." Proverbs 17:22

I must choose to be cheerful!

"A happy heart makes the face cheerful,but heartache crushes the spirit." Proverbs 15:13

I must choose to have a happy heart! I must seek HIM and ask HIM, "LORD create in me a happy heart, so that I will smile from the inside out!"

"Light in a messenger’s eyes brings joy to the heart, and good news gives health to the bones." Proverbs 15:30

One thing that I remember most of about my wonderful Gram was that no matter what was happening to her in her life, she chose JOY!  You could see it in her eyes, and you knew how she felt, and the JOY she was experiencing.  She truly was contagious!  She left an amazing legacy, and I BELIEVE that HE is asking me to do the same!

"All the days of the oppressed are wretched, but the cheerful heart has a continual feast."

 Proverbs 15:15

I am learning that when I seek HIM I will be filled with unspeakable JOY!

" This day is holy to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.” 

Nehemiah 8:10

I will REJOICE, as HE is the ONE WHO brings me so much JOY!  HE is my strength!  HE is the only reason that I can get through the tough circumstances of my life!  Today I am choosing JOY! Today I am choosing to count on GOD!  

"JOY is the HOLY FIRE that keeps our purpose warm and our intelligence aglow." Helen Keller

"The most wasted of all our days are those in which we have not laughed" Sebastian Chamfort

"Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever." Hebrews 13:8

I pray today that no matter what may be happening in your life right now, that you will be filled with HIS hope, HIS peace, and you will seek JOY in HIM, as HE truly does love and care for you. I pray that in the darkness of your world you will SEE HIS light shining on you.  I pray that you will know through HIM you can BELIEVE in miracles.  I pray that though there may be pain throughout the night, you will know that when you seek HIM, you will receive HIS Blessed Assurance, that JOY truly does come in the morning!

Blessings,

Heather

the only reason....

After writing yesterdays blog, I began to put away six loads of laundry.  Some had been sitting for two days waiting to be put away, and of course some of the clothes needed to be ironed. As I was ironing, HE began to speak to me about how I missed the mark yesterday.  Meaning, here I "thought" I was to write about that I am not to reason when it comes to HIM.  I "thought" that I was supposed to write about not making excuses, or allowing distractions in my life.  

HIS Daily Teachings that began yesterday lasted all day long, and continued in my sleep, and woke me up this morning with HIS "whisper" saying, "I am the only reason."  I called my soul-sister A yesterday and told her about what I was hearing while ironing, and told her that I felt like HE was going to have me write a second part to the blog.  I told her that I wasn't sure that I wanted to do that, as well frankly, I didn't want to look like a fool in not getting what HE was teaching me the first time.

Well, as you can imagine after I hung up with her, yes there it was, a nice HUGE slice of humble pie just waiting for me to choke down.  I felt as if I needed to write another blog introducing myself as, "Hi I'm Heather, and not only am I a slow learner, but I am an idiot!"  Seriously, that is how I felt after hearing that I missed the mark.  

This morning, HE has been filling me with HIS love and HIS grace, and encouraging me to write out what I have learned.  HE is teaching me that HE loves it when I fall flat on my face, and admit to it!  HE is wanting me to know that HE loves to serve me humble pie.  HE is reminding me that I should be learning something new from HIM, every single time I seek HIM.

I am learning that what I ask for, HE truly does deliver.  So when I prayed and asked for more of HIM, HE was more than happy to oblige.  When HE did deliver, there I was saying, "What GOD, why?  Why are  you making me eat humble pie?  Why do I have to do this, or that?"  Seriously, I am that slooooow.

I have this cross that sits on my night stand, it was my Grams.  Written on the cross are all the names that HE has been given.  This morning HE had me grab that cross and bring it to HIS teaching for today.  As I was reading it, I was overcome with peace, as I read each of HIS names on the cross.  The cross reads:

I AM, LORD OF LORDS, THE WAY, ANOINTED ONE, REDEEMER, LAMB OF GOD, ALMIGHTY, MEDIATOR, CORNERSTONE, MORNING STAR, PRINCE OF PEACE, LIGHT OF THE WORLD, DAYSPRING, EMMANUEL, SAVIOR, ALPHA & OMEGA, BREAD OF LIFE, JESUS, MESSIAH, ADVOCATE, HOLY ONE, GOOD SHEPHERD, SON OF GOD......

As I read those names, I kept hearing HIM say to me, "Heather I am the only reason that you will ever need."  I began to write out all those names in my journal, and started meditating on what HE was saying to me, and as I wrote them out, I claimed them, and I declared them.  In writing the final set of HIS names, I wrote this: "YOU are the GREAT I AM!  YOU are the only reason I will ever need.  With YOU I need not to doubt, worry, or be anxious.  With you I know YOUR word is truth.  I know YOUR plans, and YOUR purpose are perfect for me.  I know your loves is unfailing, and unending, just as YOUR word is infinite."

As if that part of HIS Daily Teachings wasn't enough, I read today's declaration.  "I am YOUR GOD, and MY HOLY SPIRIT is good.  I will lead you in the land of uprightness and teach you to do MY will. Whoever does MY will is MY brother and sister and mother.  MY love is with those who fear me, and MY righteousness, is with those who keep MY covenant and remember to do MY will.  How can a young woman stay on the path of purity?  By living according to MY word and by seeking ME with all your heart that you might not sin against Me.  Mediate on MY precepts and consider My ways."

"Teach me to do your will, for you are my God; may your good Spirit lead me on level ground." Psalm 143:10

"For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.” 
Matthew 12:50

"as far as the east is from the west,so far has he removed our transgressions from us. As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him" Psalm 103:12-13

"Then I would not be put to shame when I consider all your commands. I will praise you with an upright heart as I learn your righteous laws. I will obey your decrees; do not utterly forsake me." Psalm 119:6-8

"How can a young person stay on the path of purity? By living according to your word. I seek you with all my heart; do not let me stray from your commands. I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you.  Praise be to you, Lord; teach me your decrees. With my lips I recount
all the laws that come from your mouth. I rejoice in following your statutes as one rejoices in great riches. I meditate on your precepts and consider your ways. I delight in your decrees; I will not neglect your word." Psalm 119:9-16

When I finished reading HIS word, I wrote out what HIS word meant to me.  "LORD JESUS, it is written, YOUR words have been written  of what I am to do.  I must obey!  Create in me a steadfast unwavering heart to obey YOU LORD.  Help me to know that YOU are the only reason I will ever need! I will praise YOU all day long.  I will seek YOU and ask YOU to teach, lead, and guide me every single step of my journey towards wholeness with YOU.  LORD bless me with the knowledge and the wisdom to obey YOUR commands.  Let everything I say and do be a reflection of YOU.  Fill me with YOUR HOLY SPIRIT, and tear down and destroy all my reasons, excuses, distractions that flood my mind.  Keep me focused solely on YOU, as YOU are the only reason I will ever need!  I ask that YOU please pour YOUR favor and blessings over my life as I obey YOUR commands.  In YOUR HOLY, MIGHTY, and JUST name ~ Amen."

Today I am grateful that HE didn't let me go on thinking that I got HIS teaching right the first time.  Today I am thankful that HE continues to prove to me, that when I seek HIM, I will find HIM. I am thankful that once again HE has revealed to me the next step in my journey with HIM.  I am thankful that I have been chosen to live this life that HE has chosen for me.  I am honored that HE has called upon me to write this very blog, and to share my daily face plants with all of my readers.  I am thankful that I am able to show that HIS mercy truly is great, and that HIS grace is unfailing.

I pray today that if you only get one thing out of this blog, is that HE truly is the only reason you will ever need.  I pray that if you are struggling with something that has troubled you for a long time, that you will bring it to HIM, so that you will be set free.  I pray that through this blog you will be encouraged to seek HIM, and start your own personal relationship with HIM. I pray for HIS favor and blessings to be poured over your life when you make HIM first in your life.

Blessings,
Heather 

reason....

"I'm not a perfect person, there's many things I wish I didn't do.  But I continue learning. I never mean to do those things to you.  And so I have to say before I go.  That I just want you to know.  I've found a reason for me, to change who I used to be.  A reason to start over new, and the reason is YOU." Hoobastank

HIS Daily Teachings today is to remind me that HE is not interested in whether or not I understand the why, or the reason things are happening the way they do, rather HE is interested in my understand that HE is the GOD who HE says HE is, and HE will do what HE says HE will do.  HE is asking me to trust HIM, and not try and reason why everything is happening in my life the way it is.

This morning HE revealed this to me through the current "why" in my life.  That is, "Why didn't HE move us to GA?"  That is what I truly desired, it's what I wanted, my children wanted, and D was willing to do.  So "why" didn't HE move us there?  In my choice to "try" and reason as to "why" HE moved us there, HE is letting me know that HE didn't move us there, because it wasn't in HIS plans to move us there.  In hearing that I asked, "why" wasn't it in your plans?  HIS response was, "because I have something better planned for you."  "When" is the something better going to take place?"  By now, I am thinking "surely I have exasperated you in my reasoning......"  HE answered "YOU must trust that MY timing is perfect!"

"Reasoning leads to confusion" Joyce Meyer "Battlefield of the Mind"

This morning HE is showing me that all the time I have wasted in trying to "reason" why things happened the way they have, I have failed to TRUST HIM, and have failed to let go...... and let GOD take over control over every area of my life.  

HE is wanting me to know that it is NOT in HIS plans that I understand everything, and dissect everything HE tells me.  I must trust HIM, completely and fully.  I must let go of my foolish "need" to try and reason everything.  HE is teaching me that a curious mind, is a confused mind.  HE is wanting me to know that when I truly let go..... and let HIM take control, I will be much happier.

I am learning that because of my humanness, I tend to only BELIEVE things that seem logical to me.  As to say, that if I, Heather a small minded person couldn't think of what to do in a certain situation, then surely  HE must be wracking HIS brain?!?!? It's astonishing to me, that I even allowed myself to go there.  Really?!? How could I, Heather, person who makes a mess of her life daily possible know more than my creator?  

HE is telling me that its not important for me to know the "why", but it is important for me to understand "WHO."  Hearing this from HIM, reminds me of how each day ends for me.  That is, I lay my head on my pillow, and spill everything to HIM.  Almost every night I go to sleep wondering if tomorrow I won't be a failure.  HE is wanting me to know that I allow myself to feel this way, as I always try to reason, and in return I get confused, and when I get confused I get frustrated, and that leads to anger.

HE is showing me this morning, that my "trying" to find reason in everything, is the reason I have so much anger inside of me.  I am a person who can be easily overwhelmed.  Especially because I like to be in control.  I like things done "my way."  HE has been slowly showing me that it's not important that things be done "my way," rather that they get done at all.

For example, when I "think" that the way I do laundry is the only way to do laundry, then I am missing out on HIM blessing me by having someone else in our house do it.  HE is letting me know that HE has heard my cries for help, and when HE sends it, I must not "try" and control how I receive the help, but rather just graciously accept it.  Since I have let go, and allowed other's to bless me by doing laundry, a HUGE weight has been lifted off my shoulders, and I am able to better manage other domestic duties in my home.

"The person without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God but considers them foolishness, and cannot understand them because they are discerned only through the Spirit." 1 Corinthians 2:14

HE is teaching me that reasoning clashes with HIS discernment.  HE is wanting me to know that HE is more interested in teaching me to be able to discern when I need to allow myself to be led by HIS HOLY SPIRIT, and not reason with my fleshly desires.  I am learning that discernment is the hardest thing for me, as I always find and excuse NOT to obey HIM.  

I am learning that I must let go of my incessant "need" to control everything.  I must stop trying to solve things with reason.  I must trust HIM with everything!  HE is wanting me to know that the sooner I stop "trying" to figure everything out, the sooner I will stop being confused.

HE is wanting me to know that it is okay for me to wonder about things, and bring those questions to HIM, however the moment I start reasoning  as to "why", then I need to know that I have gone too far.  HE is reminding me once again that it sis not about "why" things are the way they are.  Therefore, I must remember that it is all for HIS plan, and HIS purpose for my life.  HE is wanting me to remember that the reason things are the way they are, is because it is in HIS plans for my life!  I must seek HIM, and allow myself to be led by HIS HOLY SPIRIT!

"I speak the truth in Christ—I am not lying, my conscience confirms it through the Holy Spirit—" Romans 9:1

I am learning that my desire needs to be having the satisfaction of not knowing, and being comforted in knowing that HE does.  Once again HE is asking me to "go all in."  HE is asking me to trust HIM completely!

"And so it was with me, brothers and sisters. When I came to you, I did not come with eloquence or human wisdom as I proclaimed to you the testimony about God. For I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and him crucified." 1 Corinthians 2:1-2

Joyce Meyer writes: "The less I know, the happier I am"

Today is the day where I will stop with my "need " to try and reason all of the "whys?" in my life.  Today I will trust HIM because of WHO HE is.  I will let go..... and let HIM lead me.  I will seek HIM and ask HIM to teach, lead, and guide me throughout every single moment of my day today.  I will be comforted in knowing that HE is my SAVIOR, HE loves me, and know me best.  I will be filled by HIS peace in knowing that my life is all about HIS plans, and HIS purpose, and it is through HIS timing and HIS provision that things will happen just as they are supposed to happen in my life.  Today is the day that I have gained a new appreciation and understanding of WHO HE is, and have asked HIM to create in me the desire to let go of my "need" to reason.

I pray today that you will be comforted in knowing that HE is the reason the way things are they way they are in your life.  I pray that you will know that it is HIS plans, and HIS purpose, and that HE is the reason you are here.   I pray that you will seek HIM, and that you will be filled with HIS truth, that HE is the reason and the only reason that you need in understanding the "whys" of your life. 

Blessings,
Heather