Recently I took a challenge to say nothing negative for twenty-four hours. Upon taking this challenge I didn't really prepare, to be honest I didn't even pray about it. I just "thought" its only twenty-four hours how hard can it be? What I would learn over the next twenty-four hours, both saddened and angered me.
Upon the first hour of the challenge I was at the gym, and even on my way to the gym, traffic which is usually light that time in the morning was pretty heavy. I should have known that upon taking this challenge that there would be roadblock's set up to test me. One of my greatest flaws that I struggle with is, feeling angry while driving. Especially when someone endangers the lives of my precious five children. Sure enough, someone made a careless move and cut me off, in fact it was more than one person. I gritted my teeth, and said, "Thank YOU JESUS for YOUR protection." Looking back I'm pretty sure JESUS doesn't want my praise and thanks while I have gritted teeth.
When we got to the gym I put my youngest in the childcare center and my two teen daughters and I made our way to the workout stations upstairs. That morning I had decided that I was going to bike for at least five miles, and then I would lift weights for the remaining time. No sooner did I start warming up, did I feel someone press on my bike behind me, and a voice that said, "what are you doing?" I turned around and it was a personal trainer, that was getting well.... waaaay to much into my personal space. He kept asking questions, and the one that nearly threw me over the edge was "make sure you check your heart rate, you do know what that is right?" After that I had, had enough, and I was about to give him a piece of my mind, and that is when I remembered the challenge. I managed a half smile, and said, "thank you for your concern, I am very aware of my heart rate, to which he insisted on asking me if I knew what level I should be at. All the while I am becoming more annoyed by the minute in thinking, "um excuse me, am I paying you to bother me? To coach me? To train me? UGH!!! LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!"
After what seemed like forever, he left me alone, and it was then that all of my insecurities began to creep out of me with questions of, "do I look stupid working out? Am I too fat for this machine? Is it that obvious that I need help? Was he flirting with me? Why was he being such a creep? If that is his way of being helpful, well he doesn't have game. Also, if he was flirting, ewwww, and he most certainly does NOT have any game." It took me almost three miles in to get all of these thoughts out of the way, before I could fully focus on keeping my heart rate up, and I stopped questioning myself.
To be honest, had I been there alone that day, I wouldn't have stayed, in fact I don't think I would have ever gone back. However, since I had my two daughters with me, I sucked it up, and gritted my teeth and made it through one of the best workouts I had ever had. It was on that day that I began to let go of my need to be perfect, and began to accept my imperfections.
At the end of the challenge I breathed a sigh of relief, as well I had failed miserably. It's been a week since I took that challenge, and today HE is meeting me right where I am to teach me how my distorted view of being a positive wife, mama, and well person have affected me and those around me. Today HE is teaching me that being positive means that I must choose to accept that I have imperfections.
HIS Daily Teachings today is showing me that just as I, Heather am flawed, so is everyone else. So often I "think" I could be a positive person if the circumstances were just right. HE is teaching me that I can't just "think" that I can overcome the negativity that plagues my heart, soul, and mind, rather, I must seek HIM and allow HIM to work in me and through me, by teaching me ways to guard my thoughts, and tame my tongue.
HE is reminding me once again that the only way I am going to learn is by going through a series of tests and trials, to challenge me to guard my thoughts, and tame my tongue. HE is wanting me to know that I will be able to remain positive during these challenges when I, Heather let go of my great expectations that everyone, and everything needs to be perfect. HE is telling me that in order for me to let go HE will keep humbling me when I am putting my unrealistic expectations on either myself or the people around me.
"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." Psalm 139:14
Today HE is wanting me know and understand that I, Heather was made the way I am, on purpose, for HIS purpose, therefore I must remember that it is the exact same way for everyone else. HE is telling me that so often I forget that my life's journey isn't just about me, that it is about other people as well. HE is wanting me to know that there is a reason why I encounter the people I do, as I am to learn something from each of the challenges that I face when interacting with other people.
I used to "think" that I was total people person, now however, I "think" I am a people person, but only when said people are nice to me. I like people when the circumstances are perfect, and well as I am learning those are the most unrealistic expectations I could possibly have in this messed up broken world full of people with so many imperfections.
HE is letting me know that the quirks and flaws that I myself, and others may find annoying, HE has planned for a reason, so that I, Heather full of quirks and flaws would know that I couldn't possibly navigate through all of my imperfections without HIM. HE is telling me that just as I am learning that I need HIM, I must remember the next time I get annoyed by someone else's quirks and flaws that they too need HIM as well.
HE is teaching me that in order to let go of my unrealistic expectations of perfection from myself and others, I must choose to seek HIM, and HIS truth about WHO I am, as I know WHOSE I am, and in doing so I will be able to live my life as my true authentic self.
"HE uses our unique combination of abilities and disabilities to help build loving and balanced homes" Karol Ladd "The Power of a Positive Mom"
HE is letting me know that it has been HIS plan all along to make each of my seven family members uniquely different. HE is reminding me of this by having me think about my children. Even though I have five of them, no two of them are alike. They are all so uniquely different in their likes and dislikes. Some of them like to sleep in, other's like to stay up late. Some are very sarcastic, and while other's are extremely tender hearted. HE is telling me that it is the same for my husband D and I. We are both so uniquely different, and that is why we work. What D likes to do, I don't, and that creates this amazing balance. This is why our marriage works as we bring a nice balance to our marriage and complete the tasks that need to be done without the need to keep score of who does what. Never before have I been more thankful that D and I are so uniquely different.
"Our success as positive mothers begins as we realize that we are glorious creations -- a special blend of strengths and shortcomings that GOD has put together to create a beautiful work of human art, know to our families as "Mom." Karol Ladd "The Power of a Positive Mom"
Once again HE is reminding me that HE created me on purpose for HIS purpose. HE is wanting me to know that HE has created me to be the writer of HIS Daily Teachings, as HE knew one day I would seek HIM, and through allowing HIM to teach, lead, and guide me, I wouldn't be able to keep it all to myself, that I would feel the need to shout it, scream, and tell it to the masses WHO HE is, and WHAT HE has done for me. HE is letting me know that each day I write the blog is another day where I am doing my part of bringing HIS KINGDOM of HEAVEN here to Earth.
HE is showing me that my life has been HIS plan all along, imperfections and all. HE is letting me know that it has been HIS plan that I would be Mama to HIS amazingly precious five children. HE is wanting me to know that it has been HIS plan all along that I would meet, and marry D, and we would live the life that we are living, as it has all been our story which plays a part in HIS story that HE has written for this world.
This morning HE is taking me back to D and my wedding day when my little sister sang "Keeper of the Stars." This verse is really standing out to me this morning, and really making me smile: "It was no accident me finding you. Someone had a hand in it. Long before we ever knew. I know I don't deserve a treasure like you, there really are no words to show my gratitude."
HE is filling me with HIS loving reminders this morning that long before D and I ever knew..... HE knew..... HE knew that D and I would meet at the young ages of 16 and 17. HE knew that we would marry just 3.5 years later on October 17, 1998. HE knew that 4 months after that on February 25, 1999 welcome our first daughter, and become parents for the 1st time. HE knew all the tests, trials, and storms that we would endure in our marriage. HE knew that 3 years into our marriage the imperfections that threatened to wipe us out, HE would use for HIS good. HE knew that on my 25th birthday D and I would both choose HIM to be our LORD and SAVIOR and be baptized in front of thousands of people. HE knew that my past that was full of imperfections would come exploding out of me HE knew that D would be able to withstand the stormy raging seas that would last almost 9 years until I finally learned to accept my imperfections, and would have the strength to overcome my past through HIS loving guidance, and teachings. HE knew that in 3 months from now we will be celebrating 16 years of marriage, a marriage that without HIM being THE KNOT, our CENTER wouldn't be possible, as we are both so full of imperfections.
Today I am so honored and blessed to be writing our story, that once we asked CHRIST to be the center of our lives, our love, respect, and understanding grew for each other by leaps and bounds. I am humbled to say that had it not been for HIM transforming and renewing each of our hearts, souls, and minds, we wouldn't still be together, and we wouldn't be raising our wonderful family of seven. I am thankful that I get to be his Wife and their Mama and that I have the pleasure of living life with all of them and how they love me and I love them imperfections and all.
Dear Friends, I pray that if you are struggling with being positive that you will seek HIM and allow HIM to show you that your imperfections are not to hurt you, but to lead you to encourage you to seek HIM. I pray that you will know and understand that you were designed specifically on purpose for HIS purpose to seek HIM, to know HIM, and to allow HIM to be LORD of your life. I pray that you will have the courage to let go of your imperfections and that you will allow HIM to work in you and through you, so that you too will be doing your part of bringing HIS KINGDOM of HEAVEN here to Earth. I pray for many blessings and favor to be poured over your life, and that you will feel HIS presence and be filled with HIS peace, comfort, and understanding that you are HIS glorious creation!
Much love, prayers, and blessings,
Heather
This is an account of my early morning walks of faith with my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. In searching for accountablity for me, the LORD used it as encouragement for others. I pray blessings for each and every life who reads HIS Daily Teachings
Thursday, July 10, 2014
Wednesday, July 9, 2014
Mama Bear
Being a Mama of five of HIS precious children, I often fail to see what my role as Mama Bear really is for my life, and theirs. For so long I have thought that being Mama Bear means that I am to be fiercely protective of my children, and to go to battle with anyone who may try to harm them by bullying them. I have always "thought" that GOD has called me to fight for them, but as I am learning with raising my teenage daughters, NOT only do they NOT need me to fight for them, it isn't my place to fight their battles for them. This is all been a HUGE part of my learning to fear NOT.
"When I am afraid, I put my trust in you." Psalm 56:3
HIS Daily Teachings today is teaching me what my being Mama Bear really means for my life. It never ceases to amaze me that when someone is offending me, or hurting me how I am so quick to take the high road, and avoid confrontation all together. However, if you offend, or hurt my children in anyway shape or form, you better be ready for Mama Bear as she is ferocious, and she will fight you, with thoughts, words, and actions, and most of the time they will be unholy and ungodly.
Whew, just typing that makes me cringe, as HE is taking me back to so many times where I "thought" that being Mama Bear was how I was raising my children, when really HE is teaching me something completely opposite. HE is letting me know that it was never HIS intention for my children to be fully dependent on me. Rather it is my job as Mama Bear to teach my children that even though I can't do everything to help them HE can.
HE is telling me that just as HE is teaching me to fully depend on HIM, I must choose to live my live as HIS living testament of WHO HE is, and WHAT HE has done, and WHAT HE will continue to do in my life, and their lives. HE is wanting me to know that my being Mama Bear means that I am to love them, and help them, and encourage them to seek HIM, and walk closely with HIM, to give their hearts, souls, and minds over fully to HIM, to know and to trust that HE truly does have their best interest at heart.
HE is showing me the ways where I have failed to live out my role of being Mama Bear in this way, as often times I become the arrogant Mama in "thinking" that I am the only one who truly knows them, and loves them the best. HE is telling me that I must choose to let go of my "thinking" that my children couldn't possibly survive a crisis without my "helping" them. HE is reminding me that while I play a unique role in their lives, HE is their ultimate leader, provider, and protector and it is my job as Mama Bear to teach them that.
HE is reminding me that while I may "think" that I, Mama Bear am their sole provider, I must remember that it is my job as Mama Bear to train them up with full and complete dependence on HIM. I must teach them that HE is the only one WHO will be their in every single one of their crisis's and times of need.
This morning HE is taking me back through a hard lesson that HE taught each of us through our oldest daughter. When she was thirteen she endured the most tragic event that has ever happened to her. During that time D and I were so immersed in our own tests and trials, that we weren't there for her, and honestly we didn't even see that she needed us. Through her words, she told us the story of when she realized the harsh reality that her parents weren't going to be the ones to help her through this crisis. As the tears streamed down my face that day, and are this morning, through her words, as they replay back to me this morning, I now know and fully understand that this is when she truly learned what it meant to fully depend on HIM.
She let us know how HE took her through the event and showed her where HE was. HE lead her through an amazing journey of forgiveness, and taught her the greatest lesson of FAITH that she has ever endured. Through her bravery to share her story she was able to overcome it all through her loving LORD and SAVIOR. When she finished sharing her story, she looked right at me and said, "Mama I was able to make it through all of this, because I knew I could trust and depend on GOD, because that is what you have always taught me."
When the reality hit of the most horrific event that she has ever endured, I was astonished by how calm, and peaceful I was. I was completely taken aback of how Mama Bear didn't lash out and try to blame someone for NOT protecting her precious little cub. It was amazing to me that I didn't try and seek revenge, and plan the demise of someone else's life, by allowing myself to be emotionally lead and letting Mama Bears ferocious teeth bare to anyone and everyone that was involved.
HE is reminding me of her words this morning to let me know that this is what my role of being Mama Bear really means for my life. HE is wanting me to know that I must never underestimate the value of my life's challenges and what they mean for my children, as they are witnessing to how I choose to handle things, and how I choose to seek HIM, and ask HIM to help me overcome every single one of my life's challenges.
HE is wanting me to know that just as it is my role to be Mama Bear, it is also my role to honor my children by modeling what a GODLY marriage looks like for them. HE is letting me know that my children are watching my every step, and holding on to my every word that I speak about their Daddy, therefore, I must choose to guard my thoughts, and tame my tongue, so that when they too are in relationships with their spouses they will be able to do the same.
HE is wanting me to know and understand that just as I myself endured tragedy as a young girl, and made it without my parents, my daughter has as well, but the GREAT NEWS is that she has her LORD and SAVIOR, of WHOM she chose to make LORD of HER life at the young age five, and after tragedy struck rededicated her life to HIM at fourteen. HE is telling me this is because of my role as Mama Bear that HE has been working through me to reach her since she was two years old.
HE is teaching me that fear NOT means that I must choose to live this way with my life, and also as Mama Bear. HE is telling me that I must to TRUST HIM, and BELIEVE HIM that HE will protect each of us, and through HIS love and grace we will be able to OVERCOME anything and everything that we encounter.
"The truth is is our children need experiences that teach them to cope without us." Karol Ladd "The Power of a Positive Mom"
HIS loving reminder is coming to me today that NOT every battle is for Mama Bear to fight. HE is wanting me to know that while my daughter's circumstances were extreme, not all of my children's battles will be extreme, and it is especially important for me to remember that in the little battles, I must teach them to fear NOT, as we know that the storm won't rage for very long, and HE will be right there with us, teaching, leading, and guiding us to victory!!!
"If we take care of every need and are present in every situation how will our children learn dependence on GOD?" Karol Ladd "The Power of a Positive Mom"
This is hard for me, as I feel as if though I am abandoning them in their time of need. This is especially true when someone is hurting them, or their feelings. I become Mama Bear and quickly prepare myself to go to battle for them. However, I am learning that my job as Mama Bear is to love and encourage them to seek HIS will and HIS way for their lives. To ask HIM to lead them through the crisis, and to be there for them to do the victory dance with them when they do overcome and win the battle when they choose to fight the good fight with HIM!
"Sometimes we "wonder moms" need to humble ourselves and get out of the way." Karol Ladd "The Power of a Positive Mom"
HE is telling me that in my quest to be Mama Bear I am failing to to remember to teach my children that HE has everything already worked out for our own good. Therefore, I must choose to fear NOT through my FAITH in HIM, and TRUST and REST in HIM that HE is there, and HE will help us through everything that HE is leading us to. HE is letting me know that it is NOT my job to live out my vision of being Mama Bear through all of their problems. Rather, it is my job to live out HIS vision of being Mama Bear to my amazingly precious five children.
"Mothers have one of the most powerful jobs on Earth. With GOD's help, we can influence our children to become world leaders, talented inventors, creative musicians, great athletes, passionate preachers, devoted school teachers, committed physicians, and the list goes on." Karol Ladd "The Power of a Positive Mom"
Never before has my role of being Mama Bear been more evident mean to me. I am learning that it is crucial that I choose to let go of their hand, and allow them to walk their journey with HIM. I must choose to fear NOT when the time comes that HE asks me to let go of their hands, and TRUST HIM completely that HE truly does love them and know them best, and that HE does indeed have great, and amazing plans for their lives.
HIS final reminder to me about being Mama Bear is this: I am to train, nurture, develop, prepare, and teach HIS precious five children that HE has chosen to place in my care. This means that HE has entrusted me with these precious five lives to teach them how to run after HIM, and fall straight into HIS loving arms. To know HIM, and to BELIEVE that they too can fully depend on HIM with every single area of their lives. HE is wanting me to know that when my time on Earth here is through, and they will have to face this cruel harsh world without their Mama Bear, they will remember their Mama and all that she taught them about love, and life, and how HE will help us overcome anything through our FAITH in HIM. HE is wanting me to know that is when I will hear as I come face to face with HIM, "well done good and FAITHFUL servant."
As I typed out today's blog, I fought back so many tears, as I am so incredibly honored and blessed to be Mama Bear to my amazingly precious five children. I am in constant awe of their incredible resilience to our life's challenges, and how they in my times of weakness remain incredible pillars of FAITH for me to know that I truly am training them up right. I never imagined myself as someone's Mama, and I am so incredibly thankful that I get to be theirs.
To my wonderful children: I promise to always love you, support you, and encourage you to chase after your dreams (not my dreams for you.) I promise to never let my fear be placed on you, and to push you further into your LOVING SAVIOR's arms. I promise to always speak HIS truth to you, and to be sure that you are writing HIS promises deep into your hearts. I promise to model what being in a GODLY marriage means, so that you too will one day have a GODLY marriage. I promise to always pray for you. I promise to always be your greatest cheerleader, and biggest fan!!! I promise to be your Mama Bear just as HE has always intended. I am so blessed to be your Mama, I love each and everyone of you with all my heart. Love always, Mama
Dear Friends, I pray today that when you are feeling fearful, that you will remember that with HIM there is nothing to fear. I pray that you will have the courage to seek HIM, and ask HIM to help you in your time of need. I pray that if you are hurting, and are in an what seems impossible situation, that you will know that HE is there, and HE cares for you. I pray that HE will fill you with HIS peace, HIS love, and give you HIS comfort to know that HE has already fought the battle for you, and that you can fully depend on HIM. I pray that if you don't know HIM, or don't have a relationship with HIM, that you will repent of your sins, by saying your sorry, and ask HIM to come into your life as your LORD and SAVIOR. I pray that HIS blessings, and favor will be poured over your life through your obedience to HIM.
With love, FAITH, and many blessings,
Heather
"When I am afraid, I put my trust in you." Psalm 56:3
HIS Daily Teachings today is teaching me what my being Mama Bear really means for my life. It never ceases to amaze me that when someone is offending me, or hurting me how I am so quick to take the high road, and avoid confrontation all together. However, if you offend, or hurt my children in anyway shape or form, you better be ready for Mama Bear as she is ferocious, and she will fight you, with thoughts, words, and actions, and most of the time they will be unholy and ungodly.
Whew, just typing that makes me cringe, as HE is taking me back to so many times where I "thought" that being Mama Bear was how I was raising my children, when really HE is teaching me something completely opposite. HE is letting me know that it was never HIS intention for my children to be fully dependent on me. Rather it is my job as Mama Bear to teach my children that even though I can't do everything to help them HE can.
HE is telling me that just as HE is teaching me to fully depend on HIM, I must choose to live my live as HIS living testament of WHO HE is, and WHAT HE has done, and WHAT HE will continue to do in my life, and their lives. HE is wanting me to know that my being Mama Bear means that I am to love them, and help them, and encourage them to seek HIM, and walk closely with HIM, to give their hearts, souls, and minds over fully to HIM, to know and to trust that HE truly does have their best interest at heart.
HE is showing me the ways where I have failed to live out my role of being Mama Bear in this way, as often times I become the arrogant Mama in "thinking" that I am the only one who truly knows them, and loves them the best. HE is telling me that I must choose to let go of my "thinking" that my children couldn't possibly survive a crisis without my "helping" them. HE is reminding me that while I play a unique role in their lives, HE is their ultimate leader, provider, and protector and it is my job as Mama Bear to teach them that.
HE is reminding me that while I may "think" that I, Mama Bear am their sole provider, I must remember that it is my job as Mama Bear to train them up with full and complete dependence on HIM. I must teach them that HE is the only one WHO will be their in every single one of their crisis's and times of need.
This morning HE is taking me back through a hard lesson that HE taught each of us through our oldest daughter. When she was thirteen she endured the most tragic event that has ever happened to her. During that time D and I were so immersed in our own tests and trials, that we weren't there for her, and honestly we didn't even see that she needed us. Through her words, she told us the story of when she realized the harsh reality that her parents weren't going to be the ones to help her through this crisis. As the tears streamed down my face that day, and are this morning, through her words, as they replay back to me this morning, I now know and fully understand that this is when she truly learned what it meant to fully depend on HIM.
She let us know how HE took her through the event and showed her where HE was. HE lead her through an amazing journey of forgiveness, and taught her the greatest lesson of FAITH that she has ever endured. Through her bravery to share her story she was able to overcome it all through her loving LORD and SAVIOR. When she finished sharing her story, she looked right at me and said, "Mama I was able to make it through all of this, because I knew I could trust and depend on GOD, because that is what you have always taught me."
When the reality hit of the most horrific event that she has ever endured, I was astonished by how calm, and peaceful I was. I was completely taken aback of how Mama Bear didn't lash out and try to blame someone for NOT protecting her precious little cub. It was amazing to me that I didn't try and seek revenge, and plan the demise of someone else's life, by allowing myself to be emotionally lead and letting Mama Bears ferocious teeth bare to anyone and everyone that was involved.
HE is reminding me of her words this morning to let me know that this is what my role of being Mama Bear really means for my life. HE is wanting me to know that I must never underestimate the value of my life's challenges and what they mean for my children, as they are witnessing to how I choose to handle things, and how I choose to seek HIM, and ask HIM to help me overcome every single one of my life's challenges.
HE is wanting me to know that just as it is my role to be Mama Bear, it is also my role to honor my children by modeling what a GODLY marriage looks like for them. HE is letting me know that my children are watching my every step, and holding on to my every word that I speak about their Daddy, therefore, I must choose to guard my thoughts, and tame my tongue, so that when they too are in relationships with their spouses they will be able to do the same.
HE is wanting me to know and understand that just as I myself endured tragedy as a young girl, and made it without my parents, my daughter has as well, but the GREAT NEWS is that she has her LORD and SAVIOR, of WHOM she chose to make LORD of HER life at the young age five, and after tragedy struck rededicated her life to HIM at fourteen. HE is telling me this is because of my role as Mama Bear that HE has been working through me to reach her since she was two years old.
HE is teaching me that fear NOT means that I must choose to live this way with my life, and also as Mama Bear. HE is telling me that I must to TRUST HIM, and BELIEVE HIM that HE will protect each of us, and through HIS love and grace we will be able to OVERCOME anything and everything that we encounter.
"The truth is is our children need experiences that teach them to cope without us." Karol Ladd "The Power of a Positive Mom"
HIS loving reminder is coming to me today that NOT every battle is for Mama Bear to fight. HE is wanting me to know that while my daughter's circumstances were extreme, not all of my children's battles will be extreme, and it is especially important for me to remember that in the little battles, I must teach them to fear NOT, as we know that the storm won't rage for very long, and HE will be right there with us, teaching, leading, and guiding us to victory!!!
"If we take care of every need and are present in every situation how will our children learn dependence on GOD?" Karol Ladd "The Power of a Positive Mom"
This is hard for me, as I feel as if though I am abandoning them in their time of need. This is especially true when someone is hurting them, or their feelings. I become Mama Bear and quickly prepare myself to go to battle for them. However, I am learning that my job as Mama Bear is to love and encourage them to seek HIS will and HIS way for their lives. To ask HIM to lead them through the crisis, and to be there for them to do the victory dance with them when they do overcome and win the battle when they choose to fight the good fight with HIM!
"Sometimes we "wonder moms" need to humble ourselves and get out of the way." Karol Ladd "The Power of a Positive Mom"
HE is telling me that in my quest to be Mama Bear I am failing to to remember to teach my children that HE has everything already worked out for our own good. Therefore, I must choose to fear NOT through my FAITH in HIM, and TRUST and REST in HIM that HE is there, and HE will help us through everything that HE is leading us to. HE is letting me know that it is NOT my job to live out my vision of being Mama Bear through all of their problems. Rather, it is my job to live out HIS vision of being Mama Bear to my amazingly precious five children.
"Mothers have one of the most powerful jobs on Earth. With GOD's help, we can influence our children to become world leaders, talented inventors, creative musicians, great athletes, passionate preachers, devoted school teachers, committed physicians, and the list goes on." Karol Ladd "The Power of a Positive Mom"
Never before has my role of being Mama Bear been more evident mean to me. I am learning that it is crucial that I choose to let go of their hand, and allow them to walk their journey with HIM. I must choose to fear NOT when the time comes that HE asks me to let go of their hands, and TRUST HIM completely that HE truly does love them and know them best, and that HE does indeed have great, and amazing plans for their lives.
HIS final reminder to me about being Mama Bear is this: I am to train, nurture, develop, prepare, and teach HIS precious five children that HE has chosen to place in my care. This means that HE has entrusted me with these precious five lives to teach them how to run after HIM, and fall straight into HIS loving arms. To know HIM, and to BELIEVE that they too can fully depend on HIM with every single area of their lives. HE is wanting me to know that when my time on Earth here is through, and they will have to face this cruel harsh world without their Mama Bear, they will remember their Mama and all that she taught them about love, and life, and how HE will help us overcome anything through our FAITH in HIM. HE is wanting me to know that is when I will hear as I come face to face with HIM, "well done good and FAITHFUL servant."
As I typed out today's blog, I fought back so many tears, as I am so incredibly honored and blessed to be Mama Bear to my amazingly precious five children. I am in constant awe of their incredible resilience to our life's challenges, and how they in my times of weakness remain incredible pillars of FAITH for me to know that I truly am training them up right. I never imagined myself as someone's Mama, and I am so incredibly thankful that I get to be theirs.
To my wonderful children: I promise to always love you, support you, and encourage you to chase after your dreams (not my dreams for you.) I promise to never let my fear be placed on you, and to push you further into your LOVING SAVIOR's arms. I promise to always speak HIS truth to you, and to be sure that you are writing HIS promises deep into your hearts. I promise to model what being in a GODLY marriage means, so that you too will one day have a GODLY marriage. I promise to always pray for you. I promise to always be your greatest cheerleader, and biggest fan!!! I promise to be your Mama Bear just as HE has always intended. I am so blessed to be your Mama, I love each and everyone of you with all my heart. Love always, Mama
Dear Friends, I pray today that when you are feeling fearful, that you will remember that with HIM there is nothing to fear. I pray that you will have the courage to seek HIM, and ask HIM to help you in your time of need. I pray that if you are hurting, and are in an what seems impossible situation, that you will know that HE is there, and HE cares for you. I pray that HE will fill you with HIS peace, HIS love, and give you HIS comfort to know that HE has already fought the battle for you, and that you can fully depend on HIM. I pray that if you don't know HIM, or don't have a relationship with HIM, that you will repent of your sins, by saying your sorry, and ask HIM to come into your life as your LORD and SAVIOR. I pray that HIS blessings, and favor will be poured over your life through your obedience to HIM.
With love, FAITH, and many blessings,
Heather
Tuesday, July 8, 2014
distracted"
For the past five days, I have been busy. Busy being a Mama to my five children. Busy going to the library, gym, swimming, and spending three days at Six Flags Theme Park. In the past five days I have allowed myself to become so incredibly distracted from HIS teachings, that sadly when I looked up the last time I wrote in my journal was on July 3rd. Sure I prayed in these past five days, but I didn't seek HIM, and ultimately I have made some pretty crucial mistakes in the way I have chosen to think, speak, and act.
Thankfully this morning, I felt HIS gentle nudge for me to get out of bed, restart my routine, of my alone time with HIM, so that I would be able to hear HIS whispers, and most importantly heed HIS whispers. HIS Daily Teachings today is revealing to me just how distracted I have become, and in allowing that to happen, WHO I have become is someone I don't even recognize. Today HE is showing me what has happened to my thoughts, words, and most importantly my actions in allowing myself to become distracted.
My Thoughts:
Oh where to begin, you mean about the hurtful, awful, deadly thoughts I have had in the past five days? Thoughts where I have wished ill will on the drivers who have cut me off. Thoughts of wanting to send my ungrateful children away. Thoughts of my husband being a jerk. Thoughts of being tired, most importantly (to me anyways) sick and tired of everyone getting on my nerves. Just sitting here typing it all out, brings stinging tears to my eyes, as I have seen where I have fallen so short of HIS glory for my life in the past five days.
HE is wanting me to know that it is never too late to begin again, and that when I repent, and seek HIM, HE will meet my distracted self right where I am. HE is telling me that HE has allowed myself to become distracted so that I would be able to see WHO I am without HIM. It is no coincidence to me that I woke up this morning singing, "Imagine me without YOU" by Jaci Velasquez "Imagine me without You, I'd be lost and so confused. I wouldn't last a day. I'd be afraid without You there to see me through. Imagine me without You, Lord, You know it's just impossible. Because of You, it's all brand new. My life is now worth while. I can't imagine me without You." Upon looking up the lyrics for this song, I have been sitting here listening to it, and I have begun to realize just WHO I am without HIM.
Thankfully this morning, I felt HIS gentle nudge for me to get out of bed, restart my routine, of my alone time with HIM, so that I would be able to hear HIS whispers, and most importantly heed HIS whispers. HIS Daily Teachings today is revealing to me just how distracted I have become, and in allowing that to happen, WHO I have become is someone I don't even recognize. Today HE is showing me what has happened to my thoughts, words, and most importantly my actions in allowing myself to become distracted.
My Thoughts:
Oh where to begin, you mean about the hurtful, awful, deadly thoughts I have had in the past five days? Thoughts where I have wished ill will on the drivers who have cut me off. Thoughts of wanting to send my ungrateful children away. Thoughts of my husband being a jerk. Thoughts of being tired, most importantly (to me anyways) sick and tired of everyone getting on my nerves. Just sitting here typing it all out, brings stinging tears to my eyes, as I have seen where I have fallen so short of HIS glory for my life in the past five days.
HE is wanting me to know that it is never too late to begin again, and that when I repent, and seek HIM, HE will meet my distracted self right where I am. HE is telling me that HE has allowed myself to become distracted so that I would be able to see WHO I am without HIM. It is no coincidence to me that I woke up this morning singing, "Imagine me without YOU" by Jaci Velasquez "Imagine me without You, I'd be lost and so confused. I wouldn't last a day. I'd be afraid without You there to see me through. Imagine me without You, Lord, You know it's just impossible. Because of You, it's all brand new. My life is now worth while. I can't imagine me without You." Upon looking up the lyrics for this song, I have been sitting here listening to it, and I have begun to realize just WHO I am without HIM.
Today I am so incredibly thankful, and blessed to know that I am truly living out HIS promises for my life about WHO HE is, and WHAT HE will do for me, NO matter how distracted I have become. Today HE is answering my cries for help, and is meeting me right where I am and showing me what my life would look like without HIM. Through HIS loving reminders I am seeing WHO I will become.
My Words:
Honestly I can't even begin to type all of the horrible things I have allowed to slip through my thoughts and straight out my mouth. Sadly, in allowing myself to be distracted, I haven't said or done much of anything, that is even remotely GOD honoring. It pains me to know that because of my my being distracted, I have taught me own children how to be all about one's self, which undoubtedly they don't need anyone teaching them how to be selfish.
HE is teaching me once again through horrible consequences to my actions in choosing to speak words of death instead of life just how much I need HIM. HE is reminding me once again the utmost importance it is for me to understand just how much I need to be guarding my thoughts, and taming my tongue.
"Those who guard their mouths and their tongues keep themselves from calamity." Proverbs 21:23
"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." Ephesians 4:29
"A gentle answer turns away wrath,but a harsh word stirs up anger." Proverbs 15:1
"The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing."
Proverbs 12:18
MY Actions:
These are undoubtedly that hardest thing for me to admit, much less write about. My actions in the past five days of allowing myself to be distracted have been at times disastrous. In failing to guard my thoughts, and tame my tongue, I have allowed myself to be Satan's puppet in his deadly game of wanting to wipe me and everyone I come into contact with out. Living distracted I have become just another pawn in Satan's deadly game of where no one wins, we all lose, and sadly as my family history has been written lose their lives.
HE is filling me with HIS loving reminder today that through HIM, HIS strength, HIS love, HIS mercy, HIS grace I am truly More than a Conqueror!
"No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us" Romans 8:37
HE is wanting me to know that no matter what happens in my life, HE is there. HE will give me the strength to handle it. HE is telling me that my problems are no longer anything I have to solve on my own, that HE is there and is waiting for me to seek HIM, and ask HIM to teach, lead, and guide me through ALL of my problems. HE is telling me that when I seek HIM that is when I will know that with HIM I am MORE than a CONQUEROR!
This morning HE is filling me with HIS loving reminders that I am MORE than a CONQUEROR through my "Power Thoughts Devotional " Joyce Meyer. HE is wanting me to know that I am able to do anything that HE leads me to. HE is wanting me to remember that with HIM I most certainly can do anything, and with HIM I will be able to lose my sense of dread, when I know I am facing difficulties.
This is taking me back to yesterday and driving my precious amazing five children and a guest to Six Flags. We were two minutes away, and I had just go on the toll way to get to the exit that I needed for us to go there. As soon as I entered the tollway, everyone hit their breaks. Almost instantly I knew it was an accident, but sadly I didn't even pray, no I was more concerned that "great now we have to wait, we were so close, how long is this going to take?" Which then became thoughts of, "Look at all these idiot drivers, HEY that guy cut me off!!! HEY listen BUSTER I have children in my TRUCK!!! GAHHH!!! Unfortunately for myself, and my children, and our sweet guest, I began to allow my thoughts to become my words.
My Actions:
Upon being cut off by the guy in the red SUV, I became irate, and in my anger, I began to say things, agree to things, and ultimately began to act out my road rage. Mocking other drivers, cursing, and saying horrible ungodly, awful things. In my selfishness of the inconvenience that I was "feeling" I missed out on the amazing opportunity to pray for the people who had just been in an accident. Even driving past, I was way more annoyed than I was concerned. The total time that it took for us to get on the tollway, get off the tollway, and into the park took 1 hour and 40 min. In that time my children all became restless, just as I was. In that time I not only lost on the amazing opportunity to pray, but I failed to seek the opportunity to speak HIS truth to my children,and speak HIS plans and HIS will for WHO we are, as no matter what happens WE are ALL MORE than CONQUERORS!
Today HE is telling me that I need to share what I wrote in my journal about what was on my heart. It is hard for me admit this, as it shows me just how far I strayed from HIS Daily Teachings.
"LORD JESUS, I now know what "I can't imagine me without YOU" means for me. I haven't felt YOUR guidance in the last five days, as I have been so consumed with having fun, and keeping to my own agenda. To realize that I was only pulling myself further away from YOU. I am so sorry for allowing myself to become distracted by allowing my words to become daggers, and my actions to.... well to be honest they could have been deadly. I have made mistakes for the past five days as a Mama, a Wife, and a woman WHO is supposed to be but is most certainly NOT GOD honoring! Through my distractions I have become a push self-entitled brat WHO wants what she wants, when she wants it. OH LORD please forgive me. Hear my cry for YOUR guidance to replace my distracted vision with YOUR vision. I want and need YOUR vision, YOUR will, YOUR plans, YOUR way for my life. In allowing myself to be distracted I have once again let go of my health, and as a result, I had a major toothache from all of the soda I had been consuming. This was all a result of letting myself go. Help me LORD to hear YOUR whispers, and most importantly heed YOUR whispers! I need YOU and I love YOU so very much! Love, Heather"
As you can see I poured my heart out to HIM this morning, and whenever I do, it's a very personal moment of reflection that I write to HIM. I write to HIM, as HE is my Daddy, and I love HIM. I am realizing with each day passing just how much I need HIM, and when I allow myself to be distracted just how quickly I can be swept away.
Dear friends, I pray today that you will have the courage to seek HIM, and allow HIM to show you how you have become distracted. I pray that you will know that HE knows your hearts cry, long before it ever enters into your mind. I pray that you will allow HIM to transform your heart, soul, and mind to align with HIS will for your life. I pray that your distracted vision will be replaced with HIS vision for your life, so that you will truly be living your life according to HIS will and HIS plans for your life. I pray that when you do, HE will pour HIS blessings, and favor all over your life.
Many prayers, and blessings,
Heather
Heather
Wednesday, July 2, 2014
priceless.....
She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.Her children arise and call her blessed." Proverbs 31:25-26,28
This morning I woke up with a heavy heart, feeling defeated in the battle of my words. Not just my words, but my thoughts as well. Last night I spoke so negatively to my children, and I kept replaying that moment over and over in my head. This morning HE is giving me the answers to the questions in my heart as to WHY I gave into my "feelings" last night, and is teaching me how to OVERCOME the stronghold of negativity in my thoughts, words, and actions.
HIS Daily Teachings today is reminding me that while I may NOT have realized it before now, I must know that my being Mama is truly priceless. HE is wanting me to know that in order for me to fully understand what that means for me, I must first seek what priceless means. According to dictionary.com, priceless means, "having a value beyond all price; invaluable:" HE is telling me that my being Mama to my amazing five children is something that NO one else has been or will be equipped for.
HE is telling me that I must understand that I was chosen to be their Mama, and because of that I must know and understand that no matter what challenges, tests, or trials, that may come up in their lives, when I seek HIM, HE will equip me to help them, and that is truly priceless.
This morning HE is teaching me the importance of maintaining a positive tone in my home. HE is wanting me to know that if there is a lack in positive tones in the house, then in order for things to turn around, I must be the ONE WHO resets the tone. This is difficult for me, as I grow weary at times of always being the bigger person, always be the ONE WHO takes the first step, and always being the first person to say they are sorry.
HE is wanting me to know that instead of grumbling or complaining about the challenges that I or my children are facing on a daily basis, I must choose to laugh and be positive so that I will then be setting the tone for positive interaction between my children and myself. HE is reminding me once again that the things that I am needing to know and understand about being Mama, can only be found when I choose to read HIS word, study HIS word, speak HIS WORDS, and meditate on HIS word.
HE is wanting me to know that my role as Mama is truly priceless as I am the only one WHO will model how to keep a positive outlook on a not always so sun- shiny life. HE is telling me that I must choose to give positive instructions to my children and learn to let go of my pessimistic views, thoughts, words, and actions. HE is wanting me to know that when I choose to model a positive outlook on life to my children , that is when my children will see me, and they will call me blessed. HE is telling me that having them call me blessed, is truly priceless. After all, WHO else would endure the daily struggles with them, and still find a reason to smile.
HE is telling me that this is the very reason why HE has been working so hard to teach me about always remembering to choose HIS JOY! HE is teaching me that HE didn't just teach that to me, for just me, but so that I would then model it to my children, and they would learn to choose HIS JOY so that no matter what may happen in their lives, they too will know that HE is there, and that HE does care.
HE is wanting me to know that I am the only one who spends almost every single waking hour with them, and because of that I am the only one who is given the chance to model CHRIST for them, and because I know of HIM and HIS faithfulness, HIS goodness, and HIS unending, unfailing, relentless love and amazing grace, that makes my role as being their mama truly priceless.
HE is teaching me that I became their Mama on purpose for HIS purpose, to raise, train up, and teach HIS ways, and how to seek HIM, and to grow in a relationship with HIM. HE is letting me know that each time I pray with my children, I am teaching them how seek HIM to have a heart like HIS and that is truly priceless.
HE is reminding me that when I had my first child, to when I had my fifth child HE has been, is, and will continue to be teaching HIS wisdom. HE is reminding me of who everyone comes to with questions to be answered in our home about where things are, what needs to be done, whats for dinner etc. HE is telling me that the reason I am the only one who can answer those questions is because I am Mama. That to me is truly priceless.
"The truth is we wouldn't trade this job for the world. It's the toughest job we ever loved!" Karol Ladd "Power of a Positive Mom"
This is so true for my life, as even though I may not have dreamt of becoming a Mama, I truly am a blessed Mama of five to HIS amazing, precious children. Just the mere fact that HE has entrusted five little beings to me is truly priceless.
"Motherhood transforms naive, inexperienced young ladies into wise, accomplished women who command respect." Karol Ladd "Power of a Positive Mom"
HE is reminding me of my first few moments of being a new Mama. I remember holding this precious little girl, and just being in complete awe of how magnificent she was, and still is. I remember holding her for hours on end, just looking into her eyes, and loving her with each feeding, diaper change, song that I sang, rocking her, bathing her, and holding her until I thought my heart would completely burst. Those memories I hold so very near and dear to my heart, as they are so incredibly, overwhelmingly, and truly priceless.
"Maternal love strengthens us and helps us grow into selfless, thoughtful, and giving adults." Karol Ladd, "Power of a Positive Mom"
HE is telling me that even though I didn't have a Mama growing up, when I became a Mama, HE equipped me to be just that for my precious baby girl. HE is reminding me of the first time she got sick, and instead of panicking, I calmly took her temperature, and was able to discern whether or not she needed medicine. Once I was able to determine that, I then took her to the doctor. Through every fall, scrap of the knee, boo-boo kissed, I was there, and HE is telling me so was HE. Coaching me, cheering me, towards victory in my quest of becoming Mama.
HE is wanting me to remember and think about all of the times in the years since I have become Mama, where I have let go of the things I wanted, and sought after what they needed. HE is letting me know that just as in my being Mama wanting to meet ALL of their needs, HE is doing the exact same thing for me, and because HE knows what's on my Mama heart for my children, NOT only does HE meet my needs, but HE meets their needs as well. When I am able to teach this to my children of how good, great, and wonderful HE truly is, that to me is truly priceless.
HE is reminding me that just as I am willing, and seeking HIM to move mountains to provide for my children, HE is doing the exact same thing for me. I am overwhelmed by HIS loving guidance this morning, in revealing to me HIS plans, HIS intent, and HIS purpose for me being Mama. I am so incredibly thankful and blessed to be living this life, as a living testament of WHO HE is, WHAT HE has done, and WHAT HE will continue to do. I am so thankful to know that my role as Mama is truly priceless.
HE is taking me back through all of the challenges, tests, and trials that I have endured as being Mama, and HE is letting me know that HE was there, is there, and will continue to be there, and HE will NEVER leave me, nor forsake me, and that is truly priceless to me.
"Yes being a mom brings out the best in us!"
I can tell you that never before in my life have I ever been more loving, giving, accepting, forgiving, and adventurous person before my becoming Mama. Before I had children, I didn't even know how to be child-like, and if it weren't for my amazing, precious five children, I wouldn't know what it means to be child-like in my FAITH, as HE calls us to be. I am so incredibly thankful for each of my children, who have taught me how to have so much FAITH, that no matter how bad things get, how hard life becomes, or how hurt we are, we serve a truly loving, giving, forgiving, faithful GOD and that to me is truly priceless.
"And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven." Matthew 18:3
"GOD has given us an inexplicable strength -- a strength beyond our own strength -- that allows us to tend to the multiple needs and cares of our precious charges." Karol Ladd "Power of a Positive Mom"
HE is reminding me once again that is on those days where I "feel" weak, as Mama I must seek HIM and TRUST HIM and BELIEVE HIM when HE says that HE is my strength. HE is telling me that even though I may not always see through HIS vision right away, when I seek HIM, HE will show me things through HIS perspective. In knowing that HE is waiting for me to seek HIM to teach, lead, and guide me, I am in complete awe that HE never gives up on me, and I am able to tell my story to HIS children, and that to me is truly priceless.
In thinking about my story, and how HE has, is and will continue to turn things around for my good, I am truly honored and blessed to be living this life as it has been written specifically for me. To know that HE has built me to withstand the test, storms, trials, and challenges of this life is truly priceless to me, as it has ALL brought me straight to HIS loving arms.
This morning HE is reminding me just how priceless my role as Mama is by teaching me how to live. It is of no coincidence to me that I fell completely in love with this song by Point of Grace called "How You live." Today I am so incredibly thankful to have this song to model to me how to live, and that is with fearless trust without borders, unfailing, unconditional love, WHO is able to extend HIS amazing grace onto everyone who upsets or hurts me. To model ALL of this life, walking closely with HIM, choosing to be clothed in dignity and grace, that to me is truly priceless.
Through seeking HIM this morning HE has revealed to me the many ways where my being Mama is truly priceless:
When one of my children are hurt, and they automatically want/need Mama.... Priceless
When they see how much I enjoy being their Mama, and seek out ways to show them that they are special, and how much they mean to me..... Priceless
Through all of the smiles, hugs, laughter, silliness, and thanks for being "the best Mama in the WHOLE WORLD"..... Priceless
When being woken in the middle of the night to console a little one with a bad dream, or a teen who can't sleep as life's questions stalk their sleep. Through loving words, gentle hugs, and encouraging prayers..... Priceless
In helping each of my five children navigate their relationships with others, and teaching them how to be humble enough to admit their wrong, and to forgive and see past offenses and love others as CHRIST love us....... Priceless
When upon turning our home upside down to locate the missing toy, ipod, phone, shoe, cup, comforting sleeping stuffed animal...... Priceless
When becoming their own personal cheerleader, encouraging them, speak HIS truth into their hearts, and showing them how much they matter to me and to HIM...... Priceless
When being able to be the only one who can comfort or console them in their time of need...... Priceless
When forgoing the hot bath, resting, or reading the book that I've tried to read at least 10 times to bake their favorite treats, so that our home smells wonderful, and their tummies are full of yummy goodness. When afterwards chocolate faces and smiles looking at you and declaring you "Best Mama in the WHOLE WIDE WORLD"..... Priceless
When taking them to the library and picking out more than 10 books to read, to haul them all home, pile up on the couch, teens too, to hear Mama read a story, complete with silly faces, and voices...... Priceless
When holding their hand as they are trembling with fear as they face a challenge, and letting them know that they are NOT alone that HE is there HE cares, and I am there and I care..... Priceless
Through every single prayer on their behalf for their future, including their spouse, their jobs, their friends, and their lives. To pray for their relationships with HIM to growing stronger and stronger with each day passing.... Priceless
In getting to wake up each and every morning, for every do-over I am blessed with.... Priceless
"Few can duplicate our loving touch. What price tag can be placed on the sense of warmth and comfort we bring to our home?"
Today I am overwhelmed by HIS loving grace in giving me the much needed wake-up-call, and do-over to show me that being Mama to my amazing, precious five children is truly priceless. Words fail me to say how thankful, grateful, and honored I am to have a LOVING SAVIOR WHO gave HIS life for me, so that I may live and spend eternity with HIM and OUR HEAVENLY FATHER. The very thought that HE paid the ultimate price for my sins, all because HE loves me............ Priceless!!!!!!!!!!
Dear friends, I pray today that if you are struggling to know whether or not you matter, I pray that you will seek HIM and you will know that your life was written specifically on purpose for HIS purpose, to bring you back to HIM. I pray that you will be filled with HIS love, comfort, and peace as you seek HIM, and ask HIM to transform and renew your heart to show you just how priceless you truly are to HIM. I pray that you will know that NOTHING in this life is by chance, but rather to grow, strengthen, and renew your heart, to build, and give you the desire to seek HIM with all of your heart, soul, and mind, to know that HE is a truly LOVING GOD, and that OUR SAVIOR JESUS CHRIST is waiting for you to boldly declare that HE is LORD OF YOUR LIFE!!! I pray that when you do HIS blessings and favor will be poured over your life, and NOTHING of this world will ever be able to compare........ then you will truly live your life knowing that HIS love for you is truly priceless.
Much love, prayers, and compassion,
Heather
This morning I woke up with a heavy heart, feeling defeated in the battle of my words. Not just my words, but my thoughts as well. Last night I spoke so negatively to my children, and I kept replaying that moment over and over in my head. This morning HE is giving me the answers to the questions in my heart as to WHY I gave into my "feelings" last night, and is teaching me how to OVERCOME the stronghold of negativity in my thoughts, words, and actions.
HIS Daily Teachings today is reminding me that while I may NOT have realized it before now, I must know that my being Mama is truly priceless. HE is wanting me to know that in order for me to fully understand what that means for me, I must first seek what priceless means. According to dictionary.com, priceless means, "having a value beyond all price; invaluable:" HE is telling me that my being Mama to my amazing five children is something that NO one else has been or will be equipped for.
HE is telling me that I must understand that I was chosen to be their Mama, and because of that I must know and understand that no matter what challenges, tests, or trials, that may come up in their lives, when I seek HIM, HE will equip me to help them, and that is truly priceless.
This morning HE is teaching me the importance of maintaining a positive tone in my home. HE is wanting me to know that if there is a lack in positive tones in the house, then in order for things to turn around, I must be the ONE WHO resets the tone. This is difficult for me, as I grow weary at times of always being the bigger person, always be the ONE WHO takes the first step, and always being the first person to say they are sorry.
HE is wanting me to know that instead of grumbling or complaining about the challenges that I or my children are facing on a daily basis, I must choose to laugh and be positive so that I will then be setting the tone for positive interaction between my children and myself. HE is reminding me once again that the things that I am needing to know and understand about being Mama, can only be found when I choose to read HIS word, study HIS word, speak HIS WORDS, and meditate on HIS word.
HE is wanting me to know that my role as Mama is truly priceless as I am the only one WHO will model how to keep a positive outlook on a not always so sun- shiny life. HE is telling me that I must choose to give positive instructions to my children and learn to let go of my pessimistic views, thoughts, words, and actions. HE is wanting me to know that when I choose to model a positive outlook on life to my children , that is when my children will see me, and they will call me blessed. HE is telling me that having them call me blessed, is truly priceless. After all, WHO else would endure the daily struggles with them, and still find a reason to smile.
HE is telling me that this is the very reason why HE has been working so hard to teach me about always remembering to choose HIS JOY! HE is teaching me that HE didn't just teach that to me, for just me, but so that I would then model it to my children, and they would learn to choose HIS JOY so that no matter what may happen in their lives, they too will know that HE is there, and that HE does care.
HE is wanting me to know that I am the only one who spends almost every single waking hour with them, and because of that I am the only one who is given the chance to model CHRIST for them, and because I know of HIM and HIS faithfulness, HIS goodness, and HIS unending, unfailing, relentless love and amazing grace, that makes my role as being their mama truly priceless.
HE is teaching me that I became their Mama on purpose for HIS purpose, to raise, train up, and teach HIS ways, and how to seek HIM, and to grow in a relationship with HIM. HE is letting me know that each time I pray with my children, I am teaching them how seek HIM to have a heart like HIS and that is truly priceless.
HE is reminding me that when I had my first child, to when I had my fifth child HE has been, is, and will continue to be teaching HIS wisdom. HE is reminding me of who everyone comes to with questions to be answered in our home about where things are, what needs to be done, whats for dinner etc. HE is telling me that the reason I am the only one who can answer those questions is because I am Mama. That to me is truly priceless.
"The truth is we wouldn't trade this job for the world. It's the toughest job we ever loved!" Karol Ladd "Power of a Positive Mom"
This is so true for my life, as even though I may not have dreamt of becoming a Mama, I truly am a blessed Mama of five to HIS amazing, precious children. Just the mere fact that HE has entrusted five little beings to me is truly priceless.
"Motherhood transforms naive, inexperienced young ladies into wise, accomplished women who command respect." Karol Ladd "Power of a Positive Mom"
HE is reminding me of my first few moments of being a new Mama. I remember holding this precious little girl, and just being in complete awe of how magnificent she was, and still is. I remember holding her for hours on end, just looking into her eyes, and loving her with each feeding, diaper change, song that I sang, rocking her, bathing her, and holding her until I thought my heart would completely burst. Those memories I hold so very near and dear to my heart, as they are so incredibly, overwhelmingly, and truly priceless.
"Maternal love strengthens us and helps us grow into selfless, thoughtful, and giving adults." Karol Ladd, "Power of a Positive Mom"
HE is telling me that even though I didn't have a Mama growing up, when I became a Mama, HE equipped me to be just that for my precious baby girl. HE is reminding me of the first time she got sick, and instead of panicking, I calmly took her temperature, and was able to discern whether or not she needed medicine. Once I was able to determine that, I then took her to the doctor. Through every fall, scrap of the knee, boo-boo kissed, I was there, and HE is telling me so was HE. Coaching me, cheering me, towards victory in my quest of becoming Mama.
HE is wanting me to remember and think about all of the times in the years since I have become Mama, where I have let go of the things I wanted, and sought after what they needed. HE is letting me know that just as in my being Mama wanting to meet ALL of their needs, HE is doing the exact same thing for me, and because HE knows what's on my Mama heart for my children, NOT only does HE meet my needs, but HE meets their needs as well. When I am able to teach this to my children of how good, great, and wonderful HE truly is, that to me is truly priceless.
HE is reminding me that just as I am willing, and seeking HIM to move mountains to provide for my children, HE is doing the exact same thing for me. I am overwhelmed by HIS loving guidance this morning, in revealing to me HIS plans, HIS intent, and HIS purpose for me being Mama. I am so incredibly thankful and blessed to be living this life, as a living testament of WHO HE is, WHAT HE has done, and WHAT HE will continue to do. I am so thankful to know that my role as Mama is truly priceless.
HE is taking me back through all of the challenges, tests, and trials that I have endured as being Mama, and HE is letting me know that HE was there, is there, and will continue to be there, and HE will NEVER leave me, nor forsake me, and that is truly priceless to me.
"Yes being a mom brings out the best in us!"
I can tell you that never before in my life have I ever been more loving, giving, accepting, forgiving, and adventurous person before my becoming Mama. Before I had children, I didn't even know how to be child-like, and if it weren't for my amazing, precious five children, I wouldn't know what it means to be child-like in my FAITH, as HE calls us to be. I am so incredibly thankful for each of my children, who have taught me how to have so much FAITH, that no matter how bad things get, how hard life becomes, or how hurt we are, we serve a truly loving, giving, forgiving, faithful GOD and that to me is truly priceless.
"And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven." Matthew 18:3
"GOD has given us an inexplicable strength -- a strength beyond our own strength -- that allows us to tend to the multiple needs and cares of our precious charges." Karol Ladd "Power of a Positive Mom"
HE is reminding me once again that is on those days where I "feel" weak, as Mama I must seek HIM and TRUST HIM and BELIEVE HIM when HE says that HE is my strength. HE is telling me that even though I may not always see through HIS vision right away, when I seek HIM, HE will show me things through HIS perspective. In knowing that HE is waiting for me to seek HIM to teach, lead, and guide me, I am in complete awe that HE never gives up on me, and I am able to tell my story to HIS children, and that to me is truly priceless.
In thinking about my story, and how HE has, is and will continue to turn things around for my good, I am truly honored and blessed to be living this life as it has been written specifically for me. To know that HE has built me to withstand the test, storms, trials, and challenges of this life is truly priceless to me, as it has ALL brought me straight to HIS loving arms.
This morning HE is reminding me just how priceless my role as Mama is by teaching me how to live. It is of no coincidence to me that I fell completely in love with this song by Point of Grace called "How You live." Today I am so incredibly thankful to have this song to model to me how to live, and that is with fearless trust without borders, unfailing, unconditional love, WHO is able to extend HIS amazing grace onto everyone who upsets or hurts me. To model ALL of this life, walking closely with HIM, choosing to be clothed in dignity and grace, that to me is truly priceless.
Through seeking HIM this morning HE has revealed to me the many ways where my being Mama is truly priceless:
When one of my children are hurt, and they automatically want/need Mama.... Priceless
When they see how much I enjoy being their Mama, and seek out ways to show them that they are special, and how much they mean to me..... Priceless
Through all of the smiles, hugs, laughter, silliness, and thanks for being "the best Mama in the WHOLE WORLD"..... Priceless
When being woken in the middle of the night to console a little one with a bad dream, or a teen who can't sleep as life's questions stalk their sleep. Through loving words, gentle hugs, and encouraging prayers..... Priceless
In helping each of my five children navigate their relationships with others, and teaching them how to be humble enough to admit their wrong, and to forgive and see past offenses and love others as CHRIST love us....... Priceless
When upon turning our home upside down to locate the missing toy, ipod, phone, shoe, cup, comforting sleeping stuffed animal...... Priceless
When becoming their own personal cheerleader, encouraging them, speak HIS truth into their hearts, and showing them how much they matter to me and to HIM...... Priceless
When being able to be the only one who can comfort or console them in their time of need...... Priceless
When forgoing the hot bath, resting, or reading the book that I've tried to read at least 10 times to bake their favorite treats, so that our home smells wonderful, and their tummies are full of yummy goodness. When afterwards chocolate faces and smiles looking at you and declaring you "Best Mama in the WHOLE WIDE WORLD"..... Priceless
When taking them to the library and picking out more than 10 books to read, to haul them all home, pile up on the couch, teens too, to hear Mama read a story, complete with silly faces, and voices...... Priceless
When holding their hand as they are trembling with fear as they face a challenge, and letting them know that they are NOT alone that HE is there HE cares, and I am there and I care..... Priceless
Through every single prayer on their behalf for their future, including their spouse, their jobs, their friends, and their lives. To pray for their relationships with HIM to growing stronger and stronger with each day passing.... Priceless
In getting to wake up each and every morning, for every do-over I am blessed with.... Priceless
"Few can duplicate our loving touch. What price tag can be placed on the sense of warmth and comfort we bring to our home?"
Today I am overwhelmed by HIS loving grace in giving me the much needed wake-up-call, and do-over to show me that being Mama to my amazing, precious five children is truly priceless. Words fail me to say how thankful, grateful, and honored I am to have a LOVING SAVIOR WHO gave HIS life for me, so that I may live and spend eternity with HIM and OUR HEAVENLY FATHER. The very thought that HE paid the ultimate price for my sins, all because HE loves me............ Priceless!!!!!!!!!!
Dear friends, I pray today that if you are struggling to know whether or not you matter, I pray that you will seek HIM and you will know that your life was written specifically on purpose for HIS purpose, to bring you back to HIM. I pray that you will be filled with HIS love, comfort, and peace as you seek HIM, and ask HIM to transform and renew your heart to show you just how priceless you truly are to HIM. I pray that you will know that NOTHING in this life is by chance, but rather to grow, strengthen, and renew your heart, to build, and give you the desire to seek HIM with all of your heart, soul, and mind, to know that HE is a truly LOVING GOD, and that OUR SAVIOR JESUS CHRIST is waiting for you to boldly declare that HE is LORD OF YOUR LIFE!!! I pray that when you do HIS blessings and favor will be poured over your life, and NOTHING of this world will ever be able to compare........ then you will truly live your life knowing that HIS love for you is truly priceless.
Much love, prayers, and compassion,
Heather
Monday, June 30, 2014
Tie the Knot
On Saturday, October 17, 1998 at 3 p.m. I slowly made my way through and across the church to my fiance, who was waiting for me to walk down the aisle together. As I have written in the past, I was estranged from my parents at that time. Looking back I can actually see that GOD had been setting the stage for the beginning of what would take years of reconciliation to occur in my relationship with them. Anyways, back to walking down the aisle, I remember seeing D, and him smiling at me with so much love, eagerness, and tenderness in his eyes. He reached out his hand, and I placed mine is his, and he said to me, "Hey Baby want to walk down the aisle with me?" That was/is D, he is always and forever more trying to make me laugh, and to see me smile.
We made it to the front of the church where we were holding hands, and the Minister began to say a bunch of things, that honestly I don't even remember what he said. I do remember however feeling D's hand in mine, and feeling him squeeze my hand as if to say, "can you believe it we're getting married?" We recited our vows to one another, D speaking so calmly, and with such pride that I was becoming his bride. When it was my turn, I trembled, shook, and bawled through all of it, almost as if I was in total disbelief that someone would actually want to marry me. Me, Heather, a girl who had struggled with self-esteem for as long as I can remember, D chose me, to marry me, to make me his bride, at the young ages of 20 and 21. I should also tell you that at that time we were also 6.5 months along in our journey of becoming parents for the first time.
When the Minister said, "I now pronounce you husband and wife, D you may kiss your bride" I thought my heart would burst. We continued onto our amazing wedding reception, and spent the night laughing, dancing, and spending time with our friends and family. Afterwards, because I was pregnant, we headed to our hotel, and it was there that D helped me out of my dress, and I slipped into the bathroom to slip into something more "comfortable," and came out to my gorgeous husband waiting for me. I laid down on the bed, and he began to rub my feet. Somewhere in the span of five minutes, D said I fell into a deep sleep, one of which I wouldn't wake until morning. Talk about a harsh entry into NOT having your "great expectations" met.
This morning HE is taking me on the journey of my marriage to D, and showing me what our marriage is truly intended for. HIS Daily Teachings today is reminding me that not only did we tie the knot that day, but when we were both saved, and received the gift of HIS SALVATION that we truly did Tie the Knot.
HE is wanting me to know that our version and HIS version are completely different. As upon entering into marriage with D, I fully "expected" him to just know me, know my needs, and simply put, he was there to love me, take care of me, nurture me, and be sure to meet ALL of my "needs." HE is telling me that it was in those time's where I failed to see that there was so much more to our marriage than either one of us could have possibly imagined.
By year three of our marriage we were now parents to two beautiful little girls, and things were rocky to say the least. D was working a hour away from home, and we had made the decision that I would stay home with the girls, and take care of our home.(small two bedroom apartment) As I have written in other blogs this in where my demons met up with me, and I began to plan my exit from this cruel harsh world.
The harsh reality was this, I was so focused on D and making him my everything, and I was so desperately wanting to be his everything that I was overwhelming him. My past was creeping up and out of me daily, and before long I was completely coming apart at the seams. Three and a half years into our marriage, it was no longer, "Hi honey welcome home, I missed you *kiss* how was your day?" Sadly, it was more like, "Great your home, F%$^ could you have stayed longer at the office(sarcasm, as I was totally resentful that he had a life outside of our apartment) To which D responded, " You know what F%$^ You, I worked all day, and you didn't even make dinner, what's wrong with you?" It saddens me to be reliving this moment in our marriage but I am thankful as HE has redeemed us both from that time in our marriage, and through HIS amazing love and grace we have overcome our communication battles to where we now fight about the issues, and NOT fight with each other.
It has taken a really long time, as I am a sllllooooow learner to, accept that NOT everything is about me in our marriage, that's why its called "our marriage." HE is reminding me once again that "our" doesn't mean just D and I, rather it means HIM, teaching, leading, and guiding us both to become WHO each other needs in our marriage. D and I learned a long time ago that we needed to tie the knot, the marriage knot.
"Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken." Ecclesiastes 4:12
Today HE is revealing just what D and signed up for when we agreed to Tie the Knot with HIM. It is of no surprise to me that today's bible study was focused on insecurity where the author talked about her relationship with her husband. HE is showing me that often time where I feel the least secure is in my marriage to D, as it is when he isn't meeting my "great expectations," that I "feel" as if though he doesn't listen to me, love me, or care for me the same way I do for him.
HE is wanting me to know that my thinking has become so distorted in "thinking, speaking, and acting upon my self righteous beliefs that I am all that, and a bag of chips! HE is truly knocking me off my high horse today, and bringing me along side of HIM to show me that D and I are really not that different, as we both need HIM.
"Your husband loves you" YES he does. And I love him. But we are flawed people with flawed hearts. We don't always say the right thing or choose to do the thing that would build the other up." Beth Moore "So Long: Insecurity"
HE is letting me know that even though I married D for love HE is showing me that through choosing to Tie the Knot with HIM love isn't just a "feeling" rather love is an action, meaning that when life gets hard, and the storms roll in, I must choose to hold fast to my FAITH in HIM, that HE will carry us through the storm. HE is wanting me to remember that in the earlier days of my marriage to D and "thinking" that D's job was to carry me through our life's challenges is NOT what I need to be thinking these days.
HE is reminding me that D and I are both flawed people, WHO need HIM, and that means that both of us are going to slip from time to time, and there will be times where each of us want to run the other way, and that is WHY HE became THE KNOT in our marriage.
HE is teaching me that while the world's view is to marry for now (until someone better comes along), and marry until (until you hurt me, and I can't forgive you) marry for love (I love the way you make me feel, and dote on me, I love being your best friend, and I love all of our ooey gooey lovey dovey talk about our "feelings") marry for lust (you look good, I look good, we both look good together, of course we'll get married, we'll be the best looking couple) marry for money (all I "need" is someone who is "rich" and then I will be happy) or like D and I we got married because it was the next step in our relationship.
HE is wanting me to know that while we may have gotten married for all the wrong reasons, we have been given HIS blessed assurance, in seeking HIS perspective of our marriage and what we both need to be doing so that we contribute to our marriage. HE is reminding me once again that my marriage to D isn't 50/50 rather it is 100/100. This means that I must seek HIS will for my life, my marriage to D, and choose to follow HIS plan, and HIS will for our marriage. HE is wanting me to know that even when I "feel" as if though D isn't doing the same, I must choose to press on and press through by modeling CHRIST in our marriage to D, so that he too will seek HIS will, and HIS plan for our marriage.
HE is telling me that is what HIS intention for marriage has been all along, for each of us to wake every day saying, "how can I make their day even better than yesterday? What is my husband/wife needing from me? How can I show them that I am in this marriage for better or for worse , for richer, for poorer, in sickness, and in health, till death do us part?" HE is wanting me to know that the answer to those questions comes when we choose to see that HE is THE KNOT in our marriage.
"We love each other deeply and know each other like no one else" Beth Moore
HE is telling me that D knows me in ways that only he is supposed to know, and I am the same way for him. HE is wanting me to know that this has been HIS purpose, HIS plan, and HIS vision all along for the creation of our marriage. HE is teaching me that this means that when both D and I are actively seeking HIM and allowing HIM to be the center of our marriage to be THE KNOT HE is FAITHFUL, and HE is there, and HE absolutely cares for each of us, and the fate of our marriage. Therefore, I must choose to get out of my own way, and allow HIS way to be the only way for our marriage.
"We are versed in each other's weaknesses and starkly aware of the other's vulnerabilities. Most of the time we avoid those areas. Some of the time we aim at them." Beth Moore
HE is teaching me that I am NOT being made aware of D's vulnerabilities so that I may use them against him, rather to know, and to encourage D, by building him up in choosing to speak HIS words, and HIS truth into D's life of WHO he is, because I know that he is HIS son!
HE is wanting me to remember that it is in those moments where I "feel" like lashing out, I must choose to guard my thoughts, and allow HIM to tame my tongue, as it is much harder to rebuke the lies that penetrate our hearts the way they do when the lies come from our other half.
HE is telling me that my marriage to D wasn't created so that we would battle each other, rather to that we would battle the circumstances and our life's challenges facing them as a team. HE is wanting me to remember that HE is our coach for our team. HE is THE KNOT that will keep our heads in the game of life, and HE is the only one WHO will lead us to victory!
"No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us." Romans 8:37
HE is reminding me that so often I forget that D and I are on the same team, as I am so busy comparing, blaming, and failing to see just how amazing D is. HE is wanting me to know that I must get my head in the game in get my focus on what HE wants for our marriage and let go of my own foolish agenda, one of which frankly revolves around three people, (me, myself, and I)
This is hard for me, as I don't like to "think" of my self, as selfish. However, after going through HIS Daily Teachings with HIM today, I am seeing where I have been so focused on my foolish agenda, and have missed the mark so many times, and have forgone the opportunities to receive the abundance of blessings that HE has been waiting to pour over my marriage to D.
I now know that it has been no coincidence that HE began working on strengthening and building our FAITH and TRUST in HIM in regards to our marriage, so that we would be able minister to others about the matter's of marriage. HE has placed it heavy on my heart as well as D's to be able to speak HIS words, and HIS TRUTH about what a CHRIST centered marriage really looks like.
Today I am so incredibly thankful that HE is teaching me, and showing me where I have fallen short in my marriage to D. I am thankful for HIS mercifully, endless, relentless love and amazing grace, of which without D and I wouldn't be getting ready to celebrate 16 years of marriage in just under 4 months. I am so incredibly blessed to be D's wife, and to know that though we may not know how to navigate through the storms of our marriage, all we need to do is keep THE KNOT tied tight in our marriage, and HE will help us OVERCOME every single difficulty, and challenge that we may face in our marriage.
Looking back on D and my hardships it will include: infidelity, suicidal threats, broken trust, divorce threat, divorces door step (twice) miscarriage (twice) depression, bankruptcy, foreclosure, health crisis (too many) financial loss, job loss, deaths in family, but through it all HE was there, HE was THE KNOT in our marriage, and HE continues to be just that in our marriage today.
D and I are getting to know each other the way HE has always intended for us to by choosing to make time for our marriage, in dating each other every week, and talking about our hopes, and dreams for our marriage, ourselves, and our family. There are times where we can't afford to go "out" so instead we go for walks, as some of our best talks have come from our walks with HIM.
I am in complete awe of how much HE loves us, and how HE delights in showing us how much HE does! I am so incredibly blessed, and thankful to be D's wife and to know that I was created to be his bride. He still gives me butterflies after all this time with just a look, and I am so thankful that I know it is all because we have chosen to ask HIM to be THE KNOT.
Dear Friends, I know life is hard. Marriage is hard. Sometimes unbearable... I pray today that you will know that HE cares for you, and HE is there. HE is waiting for you to say that you need HIM. I pray right now in this very moment in you are in a broken marriage, one where your trust has been broken, or abused, I pray that you will seek HIM for healing, for comfort, and for peace to know that HE will turn this all out for your good, by bringing you close to HIM, and allowing HIM to show you HIS vision for your marriage. I pray that even if today you had a fight with your spouse that you will go to HIM, and ask HIM to show you what is really going on behind the scenes. I pray today that you will have the courage to seek HIM to ask HIM to transform and renew your heart so that you will be the person that your spouse needs. I pray that you will know that you aren't in this alone, that HE is there, and HE is ready, and waiting to teach, lead, and guide you and to show you what HIS vision is for your marriage. I pray that if you are single, you will see my story as HIS message of the only reason to be married, and to teach you that when you allow HIM to be THE KNOT in your marriage you too will be more than a conqueror!
With much love, prayers, understanding, compassion, and blessings,
Heather
We made it to the front of the church where we were holding hands, and the Minister began to say a bunch of things, that honestly I don't even remember what he said. I do remember however feeling D's hand in mine, and feeling him squeeze my hand as if to say, "can you believe it we're getting married?" We recited our vows to one another, D speaking so calmly, and with such pride that I was becoming his bride. When it was my turn, I trembled, shook, and bawled through all of it, almost as if I was in total disbelief that someone would actually want to marry me. Me, Heather, a girl who had struggled with self-esteem for as long as I can remember, D chose me, to marry me, to make me his bride, at the young ages of 20 and 21. I should also tell you that at that time we were also 6.5 months along in our journey of becoming parents for the first time.
When the Minister said, "I now pronounce you husband and wife, D you may kiss your bride" I thought my heart would burst. We continued onto our amazing wedding reception, and spent the night laughing, dancing, and spending time with our friends and family. Afterwards, because I was pregnant, we headed to our hotel, and it was there that D helped me out of my dress, and I slipped into the bathroom to slip into something more "comfortable," and came out to my gorgeous husband waiting for me. I laid down on the bed, and he began to rub my feet. Somewhere in the span of five minutes, D said I fell into a deep sleep, one of which I wouldn't wake until morning. Talk about a harsh entry into NOT having your "great expectations" met.
This morning HE is taking me on the journey of my marriage to D, and showing me what our marriage is truly intended for. HIS Daily Teachings today is reminding me that not only did we tie the knot that day, but when we were both saved, and received the gift of HIS SALVATION that we truly did Tie the Knot.
HE is wanting me to know that our version and HIS version are completely different. As upon entering into marriage with D, I fully "expected" him to just know me, know my needs, and simply put, he was there to love me, take care of me, nurture me, and be sure to meet ALL of my "needs." HE is telling me that it was in those time's where I failed to see that there was so much more to our marriage than either one of us could have possibly imagined.
By year three of our marriage we were now parents to two beautiful little girls, and things were rocky to say the least. D was working a hour away from home, and we had made the decision that I would stay home with the girls, and take care of our home.(small two bedroom apartment) As I have written in other blogs this in where my demons met up with me, and I began to plan my exit from this cruel harsh world.
The harsh reality was this, I was so focused on D and making him my everything, and I was so desperately wanting to be his everything that I was overwhelming him. My past was creeping up and out of me daily, and before long I was completely coming apart at the seams. Three and a half years into our marriage, it was no longer, "Hi honey welcome home, I missed you *kiss* how was your day?" Sadly, it was more like, "Great your home, F%$^ could you have stayed longer at the office(sarcasm, as I was totally resentful that he had a life outside of our apartment) To which D responded, " You know what F%$^ You, I worked all day, and you didn't even make dinner, what's wrong with you?" It saddens me to be reliving this moment in our marriage but I am thankful as HE has redeemed us both from that time in our marriage, and through HIS amazing love and grace we have overcome our communication battles to where we now fight about the issues, and NOT fight with each other.
It has taken a really long time, as I am a sllllooooow learner to, accept that NOT everything is about me in our marriage, that's why its called "our marriage." HE is reminding me once again that "our" doesn't mean just D and I, rather it means HIM, teaching, leading, and guiding us both to become WHO each other needs in our marriage. D and I learned a long time ago that we needed to tie the knot, the marriage knot.
"Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken." Ecclesiastes 4:12
Today HE is revealing just what D and signed up for when we agreed to Tie the Knot with HIM. It is of no surprise to me that today's bible study was focused on insecurity where the author talked about her relationship with her husband. HE is showing me that often time where I feel the least secure is in my marriage to D, as it is when he isn't meeting my "great expectations," that I "feel" as if though he doesn't listen to me, love me, or care for me the same way I do for him.
HE is wanting me to know that my thinking has become so distorted in "thinking, speaking, and acting upon my self righteous beliefs that I am all that, and a bag of chips! HE is truly knocking me off my high horse today, and bringing me along side of HIM to show me that D and I are really not that different, as we both need HIM.
"Your husband loves you" YES he does. And I love him. But we are flawed people with flawed hearts. We don't always say the right thing or choose to do the thing that would build the other up." Beth Moore "So Long: Insecurity"
HE is letting me know that even though I married D for love HE is showing me that through choosing to Tie the Knot with HIM love isn't just a "feeling" rather love is an action, meaning that when life gets hard, and the storms roll in, I must choose to hold fast to my FAITH in HIM, that HE will carry us through the storm. HE is wanting me to remember that in the earlier days of my marriage to D and "thinking" that D's job was to carry me through our life's challenges is NOT what I need to be thinking these days.
HE is reminding me that D and I are both flawed people, WHO need HIM, and that means that both of us are going to slip from time to time, and there will be times where each of us want to run the other way, and that is WHY HE became THE KNOT in our marriage.
HE is teaching me that while the world's view is to marry for now (until someone better comes along), and marry until (until you hurt me, and I can't forgive you) marry for love (I love the way you make me feel, and dote on me, I love being your best friend, and I love all of our ooey gooey lovey dovey talk about our "feelings") marry for lust (you look good, I look good, we both look good together, of course we'll get married, we'll be the best looking couple) marry for money (all I "need" is someone who is "rich" and then I will be happy) or like D and I we got married because it was the next step in our relationship.
HE is wanting me to know that while we may have gotten married for all the wrong reasons, we have been given HIS blessed assurance, in seeking HIS perspective of our marriage and what we both need to be doing so that we contribute to our marriage. HE is reminding me once again that my marriage to D isn't 50/50 rather it is 100/100. This means that I must seek HIS will for my life, my marriage to D, and choose to follow HIS plan, and HIS will for our marriage. HE is wanting me to know that even when I "feel" as if though D isn't doing the same, I must choose to press on and press through by modeling CHRIST in our marriage to D, so that he too will seek HIS will, and HIS plan for our marriage.
HE is telling me that is what HIS intention for marriage has been all along, for each of us to wake every day saying, "how can I make their day even better than yesterday? What is my husband/wife needing from me? How can I show them that I am in this marriage for better or for worse , for richer, for poorer, in sickness, and in health, till death do us part?" HE is wanting me to know that the answer to those questions comes when we choose to see that HE is THE KNOT in our marriage.
"We love each other deeply and know each other like no one else" Beth Moore
HE is telling me that D knows me in ways that only he is supposed to know, and I am the same way for him. HE is wanting me to know that this has been HIS purpose, HIS plan, and HIS vision all along for the creation of our marriage. HE is teaching me that this means that when both D and I are actively seeking HIM and allowing HIM to be the center of our marriage to be THE KNOT HE is FAITHFUL, and HE is there, and HE absolutely cares for each of us, and the fate of our marriage. Therefore, I must choose to get out of my own way, and allow HIS way to be the only way for our marriage.
"We are versed in each other's weaknesses and starkly aware of the other's vulnerabilities. Most of the time we avoid those areas. Some of the time we aim at them." Beth Moore
HE is teaching me that I am NOT being made aware of D's vulnerabilities so that I may use them against him, rather to know, and to encourage D, by building him up in choosing to speak HIS words, and HIS truth into D's life of WHO he is, because I know that he is HIS son!
HE is wanting me to remember that it is in those moments where I "feel" like lashing out, I must choose to guard my thoughts, and allow HIM to tame my tongue, as it is much harder to rebuke the lies that penetrate our hearts the way they do when the lies come from our other half.
HE is telling me that my marriage to D wasn't created so that we would battle each other, rather to that we would battle the circumstances and our life's challenges facing them as a team. HE is wanting me to remember that HE is our coach for our team. HE is THE KNOT that will keep our heads in the game of life, and HE is the only one WHO will lead us to victory!
"No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us." Romans 8:37
HE is reminding me that so often I forget that D and I are on the same team, as I am so busy comparing, blaming, and failing to see just how amazing D is. HE is wanting me to know that I must get my head in the game in get my focus on what HE wants for our marriage and let go of my own foolish agenda, one of which frankly revolves around three people, (me, myself, and I)
This is hard for me, as I don't like to "think" of my self, as selfish. However, after going through HIS Daily Teachings with HIM today, I am seeing where I have been so focused on my foolish agenda, and have missed the mark so many times, and have forgone the opportunities to receive the abundance of blessings that HE has been waiting to pour over my marriage to D.
I now know that it has been no coincidence that HE began working on strengthening and building our FAITH and TRUST in HIM in regards to our marriage, so that we would be able minister to others about the matter's of marriage. HE has placed it heavy on my heart as well as D's to be able to speak HIS words, and HIS TRUTH about what a CHRIST centered marriage really looks like.
Today I am so incredibly thankful that HE is teaching me, and showing me where I have fallen short in my marriage to D. I am thankful for HIS mercifully, endless, relentless love and amazing grace, of which without D and I wouldn't be getting ready to celebrate 16 years of marriage in just under 4 months. I am so incredibly blessed to be D's wife, and to know that though we may not know how to navigate through the storms of our marriage, all we need to do is keep THE KNOT tied tight in our marriage, and HE will help us OVERCOME every single difficulty, and challenge that we may face in our marriage.
Looking back on D and my hardships it will include: infidelity, suicidal threats, broken trust, divorce threat, divorces door step (twice) miscarriage (twice) depression, bankruptcy, foreclosure, health crisis (too many) financial loss, job loss, deaths in family, but through it all HE was there, HE was THE KNOT in our marriage, and HE continues to be just that in our marriage today.
D and I are getting to know each other the way HE has always intended for us to by choosing to make time for our marriage, in dating each other every week, and talking about our hopes, and dreams for our marriage, ourselves, and our family. There are times where we can't afford to go "out" so instead we go for walks, as some of our best talks have come from our walks with HIM.
I am in complete awe of how much HE loves us, and how HE delights in showing us how much HE does! I am so incredibly blessed, and thankful to be D's wife and to know that I was created to be his bride. He still gives me butterflies after all this time with just a look, and I am so thankful that I know it is all because we have chosen to ask HIM to be THE KNOT.
Dear Friends, I know life is hard. Marriage is hard. Sometimes unbearable... I pray today that you will know that HE cares for you, and HE is there. HE is waiting for you to say that you need HIM. I pray right now in this very moment in you are in a broken marriage, one where your trust has been broken, or abused, I pray that you will seek HIM for healing, for comfort, and for peace to know that HE will turn this all out for your good, by bringing you close to HIM, and allowing HIM to show you HIS vision for your marriage. I pray that even if today you had a fight with your spouse that you will go to HIM, and ask HIM to show you what is really going on behind the scenes. I pray today that you will have the courage to seek HIM to ask HIM to transform and renew your heart so that you will be the person that your spouse needs. I pray that you will know that you aren't in this alone, that HE is there, and HE is ready, and waiting to teach, lead, and guide you and to show you what HIS vision is for your marriage. I pray that if you are single, you will see my story as HIS message of the only reason to be married, and to teach you that when you allow HIM to be THE KNOT in your marriage you too will be more than a conqueror!
With much love, prayers, understanding, compassion, and blessings,
Heather
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