"Do good for Daddy"

"Do good for Daddy," is a phrase that I have heard countless times in the last thirteen years of my walk with HIM.  It is something that I never quite understood why anyone would say, however this past week HE has been working hard on my heart that it's NOT about the amount of GOOD I am doing, if it is with selfish ambition, rather than a TRUE desire to do what is right, because HE has called me to do HIS good works.  

Huh??? To put it another way, HE doesn't want me doing HIS good works, because I know it's right, and good, and it will make me "look" good.   What I mean to say is, that NOTHING that I am thinking, saying, or doing, should EVER be about "trying" to impress anyone, rather it is to be BUILDING HIS KINGDOM in me and through me, by allowing HIM to teach, lead, and guide me every single step of the way.

"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves" Philippians 2:3

HE is wanting me to to know that it's not as if though HE'S keep a tally system and I'm earning so many "brownie points" for "Doing good for Daddy."  HE is telling me that HE doesn't relentlessly pursue my heart, and mind so that I will "look" good, rather HE relentlessly pursues my heart, and mind so that I will BE HIS light for this broken and fallen world.  HE is wanting me to know that it's not about being "right" or "doing right," rather it's about me seeking HIM, and allowing HIM to transform and renew me into RIGHTEOUSNESS as that is when I will be in RIGHT STANDING with HIM.

"The light of the righteous shines brightly, but the lamp of the wicked is snuffed out." Proverbs 13:9

This morning HE has captured my heart once again and has called me to just be still...... and wait, soak, and rest..... in HIS peaceful presence.  To rest in HIS peace filled presence.  HE is telling me that when I remember and choose to just sit, quietly, and wait..... for HIS voice, HIS peace, HIS grace, HIS mercy.... when I choose to be still..... that is when I will hear HIS voice, teaching, leading, and guiding me to BE the me, HE created.  

"He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” Psalm 46:10

HE is wanting me to know that when I come into HIS presence, I must NOT be boastful or prideful of ALL the good that I have done, as I need to always remember that I, Heather have done NOTHING, rather HE has done everything that is good in my life.  HE is reminding me that I didn't just wake up one day and say, "hey I think I'll be a good person today, one who isn't easily offended, who loves everyone, and forgives anyone who hurts me...." um yeah I'm pretty sure I didn't do any of that.  

"When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom." Proverbs 11:2

"Where there is strife, there is pride,  but wisdom is found in those who take advice" Proverbs 13:10

However, in walking so intimately with HIM on a daily basis, and seeking HIM in every situation, that is exactly what my hearts cry has been.  So much that lately when someone hurts my feelings, I want so badly to just be able to forgive them right away, but I'm human so sometimes it's not an immediate thing. 

Joyce Meyer once said, "you should be so full of forgiveness, that when someone is offending you, you can already forgive them..... before...... then even finish offending you."  

Say what now??? Do what now???  Yes, this is it, it's NOT that I am forgiving so that I will "look" good in other peoples eyes, rather I will be in RIGHT STANDING with HIM as I that is when I will become more like HIM, and less like me, the hott mess that the world is making excuses for me to stay.  I know this because if you know my story, which most of you do, in our humanness it's easy to say, "well of course you are having a hard time, you've had a hard life, and anyone who has ever suffered as much as you have would understand that.  You don't owe anyone ANYTHING, this is your life, and you deserve to be Happy. After all EVERYONE deserves to be happy.  So what if your choices, words, thoughts, and actions offend someone, WHO cares it's your life, life it the way you want, and don't worry about how other people will feel. "

"A fool’s mouth lashes out with pride, but the lips of the wise protect them." Proverbs 14:3

"The eyes of the arrogant will be humbled and human pride brought low; the Lord alone will be exalted in that day." Isaiah 2:11

I can't tell you how much my heart breaks every single time I read, or hear the news about another pedophile, murderer, cheater, liar, robbery, and even CHRIST followers who condemn those who do not know HIM like they do, and instead of loving choose to judge.  My heart breaks because if this world doesn't truly understand and know what HIS unfailing, relentless, unending, unconditional love is really all about, people will be lost, souls will be lost.  If we are so content on doing what we "think" is right, instead of doing what is "righteous," then we won't be SHINING HIS light for the last, the least, and the lost.  What I mean is, I know what I have been through in my life, and I know what HE has done in me and through me, to FREE me from the bondage and lies that the enemy "tried" to bury deep into my heart, soul, and mind.  I know how HE has begun a good work in me to SEE all of HIS good, beyond all the sorrow sadness and pain that I have endured in my life.  I know how HE has gifted me HIS wisdom, HIS discernment, and HIS mercy for people who offend, hurt, destroy, kill, lie, and steal.  I know in the flesh, I, Heather am human, and I couldn't possibly comprehend how anyone could have compassion for someone who commits such horrific crimes.  However, in and through HIS SPIRIT, I am able to SEE the world as HE SEES it, and because of that I am able to do what HE calls me to do, even if in my own "thinking" it doesn't make sense.  

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will." Romans 12:2

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord." Isaiah 55:8

I can look back on my journey with HIM, and can say that I haven't always had the mentality that HE is doing ALL the work, it's just the willingness of opening my heart for HIM to do the work that I have gotten to the mentality that I have today.  I haven't always had a heart for the last, the least, and the lost.  So much in fact that as soon as I realized I had a story to tell, I told it that way I wanted to, when I wanted to, and when I told it, I wanted everyone's heart to break, as my story was so incredibly sad.  I wanted sympathy, I wanted to "feel" better as I was locked in my own prison without a key.  A KEY, THE KEY, of which was revealed to me was HIS TRUE FREEDOM.  

When I received my first taste of HIS TRUE FREEDOM I was blown away. I was SHOCKED that anyone would love me enough to relentlessly pursue my heart, and mind so that I would know the TRUTH, HIS TRUTH, so that when the time was right, I would be able to share my story the way HE had always intended it, and because I was no longer hurting, or in pain from my story, I wouldn't be looking for sympathy, rather a HUGE desire would be created deep within me to be encouraging, and inspiring as when I would share my story, HIS story it would be so that they would SEE ALL the good that HE has done in my life, and that because I was HIS FAITHFUL FOLLOWER HE poured HIS blessings and favor ALL over my life.  

" Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” John 8:32

Today I am resting, peacefully in HIS peaceful, peace filled presence.  I am TRUSTING HIM that no matter what happens to me in my life today, NOTHING can upset HIS perfect peace, as I know that no matter what the outcome is for today, HE has already paved HIS peace filled path for me to walk.  Even if that path means the end of my life here in this world and it is time for my eternal life to begin. 

At the end of each and every single day, I want to have a clean heart, to know that ALL that I did today, I did because HE poured into me HIS strength, HIS wisdom, HIS discernment, HIS mercy, HIS grace, HIS peace, through HIS perfect unfailing love.  I want to be able to lay my head down each and every night acknowledging HIM and ALL the good HE is doing in me and through me.  I want to be able to say if I am not given tomorrow that I was HIS FAITHFUL FOLLOWER, I ran the race, I NEVER gave up, I chose to seek HIM daily, and I TRUSTED HIM, I surrendered my selfish ways, and let go of ALL selfish ambition, and chose to seek HIS face so that HE could teach, lead, and guide me through each and every single step of my journey towards wholeness with HIM.  I want to be able say that, "LORD I love you, I have loved you for the last thirteen years of my life, and I done what you have called me to do, by being YOUR LIGHT, as YOUR Ambassador, as YOUR living vessel, and shared YOUR TRUTH, and spoke YOUR words, and LIVED the life that YOU LORD have called me to LIVE.  I have become the ME YOU have created me to BE.  LORD I have surrendered ALL of me, and have said,"anything for you LORD, always."  I have let go of my way of doing things LORD, and chose to seek out YOUR will and YOUR ways, by TRUSTING YOU to LIVE out YOUR plans for my life.  I have STOPPED doing things because I felt I should do them, and STARTED doing them because my desire to be a close to you as I can possibly get, outweighed any worldly reward, or recognition I could have EVER received.  This is ALL because YOU LORD have loved me with an everlasting love, and because of YOUR love, I was able to overcome ALL the ways of this world, and I finished the race in the way that YOU LORD have always intended."

This..... is my hearts plea, my hearts cry....... for when I meet JESUS face to face, and Oh what a glorious day that will be!  Holding tight to that image of meeting HIM, so that when the days are long, and life seems unbearable, I will remember that in the end ALL will be made right, ALL of my tears will be wiped away, and I won't ever have to suffer EVER again.

"Then I saw “a new heaven and a new earth,” for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea.  I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband.  And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God.  ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!” Then he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.” He said to me: “It is done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. To the thirsty I will give water without cost from the spring of the water of life.  Those who are victorious will inherit all this, and I will be their God and they will be my children.  But the cowardly, the unbelieving, the vile, the murderers, the sexually immoral, those who practice magic arts, the idolaters and all liars—they will be consigned to the fiery lake of burning sulfur.This is the second death.” Revelations 21:1-8

My Dear Brothers and Sisters in CHRIST JESUS,  it is my fervent prayers that you set aside, set down, ALL expectations that you "think" HE has of you, and just be still..... and wait in HIS peaceful, peace filled presence.  Allow HIM to work in you and through you to know what HE wants you to do, NOT what the world is telling you that you have to do.  I pray that today will be the day that you are set free from your own prison without a key as HE breathes HIS truth into your heart, and you receive HIS amazing gift of TRUE FREEDOM.  I pray that today that you will choose to seek HIM in everything that you are doing, and SEE ALL the good that HE is doing in you and through you.   I pray that if you too always thought that being a CHRIST Follower meant to "Do good for Daddy" that you will know that it doesn't matter how much good you "think" or the world "thinks" you are doing, what matters is that you know that without HIM you can't do anything, but with HIM, you can do anything.

Always in love and prayers, with much grace, compassion, and understanding,

Your Sister in CHRIST JESUS,

~ Heather 

love you more....

Sitting here in the quiet of the evening.  Times ticks away, as I struggle, and try to comprehend how to deal with the overwhelming sadness that washes over me and through me.  Sitting here with tears streaming from my eyes, wanting so badly for life to be different, longing for the days where we were a family of seven..... seven.... a number of which we will be again... well again at least to the world, and yet in my heart, the ache remains... we were seven....... 

Tears fall as I try so hard to accept and embrace that this really is what HIS plans are.  How LORD, how can this really be?  How can my heart just be so unimaginably, unfathomably broken.  How LORD, how will I live, can I live with this heartache forever?  How can this be?  How is it that Seth couldn't be here?  Why wasn't there any warnings?  Why didn't you let us fight for him?  Why LORD must I cry every day, as I watch each of my children  struggle to come to terms with the very fact.... our devastating reality that their little brother's life is over.  We were seven LORD, seven.

Oceans pool at my feet, as tears fall like rain, and flow down my cheeks into my lap.... never have I had to cry so hard, for so long, so deep, heartbreak unknown......... I ache, I beg, I plead, I want so desperately to understand... to know the answers to my questions......  My final plea tonight is, but I loved Seth LORD, we love him, he should be here......

I feel HIS embrace wrap tightly around me as HIS words flow deep into my heart....

"Because I love you more..... I love Seth more.... I know how much you love him.... Even though you may not feel MY love for you in this heartache, I promise ONE DAY this will ALL make sense..... because I love you more...."

Tears fall hard.... and come crashing down, into the sorrow of the deepest part of my soul.  Oh GOD how I ache, I hurt...... but I TRUST you LORD, with ALL I am.....

"Into YOUR hand I commit again... With ALL I am... For YOU LORD.... YOU hold my world.... in the palm of YOUR hand... and I'm YOURS forever... JESUS I BELIEVE in YOU.... JESUS I BELONG to YOU.... YOU'RE the REASON that I LIVE..... the REASON that I SING..... With ALL I am.... I'll WALK with YOU.... WHEREVER YOU go... through tears and JOY.... I'll TRUST in YOU.... and I WILL LIVE.... in ALL of YOUR WAYS.... and YOUR PROMISES FOREVER... I WILL WORSHIP..... I WILL WORSHIP FOREVER...." Hillsong United "With ALL I am" 

HE is the only reason I sing... HE is the only reason I am getting out of bed every single morning.  NOT because I don't love my life, but this pain, is more than me, more than anything I could ever handle or face on my own.  This journey of walking through grief is NOT something HE ever intended for me to walk alone.  HE is there, holding my hand every step of the way.  SHINING HIS LIGHT to guide my way.  HE knows how hard this is... I know this because with every tear that I shed in the overwhelming sorrow, sadness, pain, and anguish, HE is there to remind me how much HE loves me, and that is far more than I could possibly imagine.  

" And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them.  This is how love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment: In this world we are like Jesus.  There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. We love because he first loved us." 1 John 4:16-19

Tonight I"m clinging to HIS words....... "I love you more"  Tonight I'm leaning in and pressing into HIS word, HIS promises that HE'S near, HE hasn't left me, and HE will help me deal with each wave of sadness that "tries" to overtake me.  Tonight I'm choosing once again to take that next leap of faith and TRUST that HIS plan is truly what is best. 

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

Tonight I will TRUST that though in my "humanness" I "think" that Seth is better off living here with his dayee and sissy's and big brother, and his mama.... I know the TRUTH, HIS TRUTH and this is that HE loves each of us far more than we could ever love each other.  Tonight I'm clinging to HIS promise that HEAVEN is our HOME, the TRUTH that I cling to that this life as hard as it may be, is temporary.  Tonight I'm clinging to HIS promise that HE will always be there to catch every single one of my tears.  Tonight...... as I sit here in the quiet, I'm soaking in HIS presence.  Tonight..... I'm reflecting on my journey of how far HE has brought me, and thinking about HIS TRUE CHARACTER.  

"The Lord is compassionate and gracious,  slow to anger, abounding in love. He will not always accuse, nor will he harbor his anger forever; he does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth,  so great is his love for those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west,  so far has he removed our transgressions from us. As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him; for he knows how we are formed, he remembers that we are dust." Psalm 103:8-14

Tonight I'm pressing deep into HIS word of WHO HE IS, and NOT listening to the nonsense that the enemy is wanting me to believe.  Rather I'm pressing deep into HIS truth of ALL that HE has done, is doing and will continue to do in my life.  Tonight I'm choosing to FIGHT the GOOD FIGHT by shutting down, shutting out, and shutting up the LIES that Satan "tries" to entice, to seek, kill, and destroy with.  Tonight I will FIGHT with ALL that I am, that HE is BUILDING me to be, so that at the end of this life, I will be able to stand before HIM and say that I have fought the good fight, I have been HIS servant, I have been ALL in, and I NEVER gave up.  I have answer HIS call to my life, as "anything YOU ask of me LORD I will do, I TRUST YOU, I LOVE YOU." 

"Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses." 1 Timothy 6:12

" Be strong, and let us fight bravely for our people and the cities of our God. The Lord will do what is good in his sight.” 2 Samuel 10:12

"Be strong, and let us fight bravely for our people and the cities of our God. The Lord will do what is good in his sight.” 1 Chronicles 19:13

"I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith." 2 Timothy 4:7

Tonight I'm pressing deep into my FAITH and TRUSTING HIM that HIS plan, HIS purpose for my life, is to go through these very thoughts, so that HE can pour HIS truth into me, and when I choose to speak HIS words of TRUTH that is when HIS power and authority come ALIVE in me to FIGHT!!! 

"I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." Philippians 3:14

"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." Romans 15:13

My Dear Brothers and Sisters in CHRIST JESUS,  oh my dear ones, you are so NOT alone.  NEVER alone as HE is with you..... always.  I pray that if you too are finding yourself in tears so overwhelming in sorrow, I pray that you will feel HIS warm embrace engulfing you as HE is holding you.  I pray that if you have yet to receive our SAVIORS love, that you will have the courage to seek HIM, repent, ask for forgiveness of your sins, and receive HIM dear ones as your SAVIOR.  I pray this for you because I love you, because HE loves you, and just knowing that I, Heather, maybe someone who is a world away from where you are right now, am praying for you.  Just remember..... HE LOVES YOU MORE.  

" Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.  Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.  This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.  Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.

This is how we know that we live in him and he in us: He has given us of his Spirit.  And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God,God lives in them and they in God.  And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.

God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them.  This is how love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment: In this world we are like Jesus.  There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

We love because he first loved us.  Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen.  And he has given us this command: Anyone who loves God must also love their brother and sister." 1 John 4:7-21

Always in my prayers are the hearts of the readers of HIS Daily Teachings,

With much love grace, compassion, and understanding,

Your Sister in CHRIST JESUS,

~ Heather 

leap of Faith

Not feeling led to write lately, I've journaled..... a lot.  So much that I wasn't quite understanding that if I was journaling that much, then why wasn't I writing and posting on the blog?  Feeling frustrated like I must have missed something, I wrote in my journal this morning that I just wanted to be with HIM, not here, but there.... where no pain, sorrow, sadness, and this overwhelming heartache exists.  As soon as I finished journaling my plea, the next sentence I wrote was, but I know that isn't possible, as YOU aren't through working in me and through me here yet, so that means that I'm just going to have to TRUST YOU, that YOU LORD know whats best for me.

The more I poured my heart out, the further HE took me back to last week, which started a whole new perspective of how I got to where I am.  More specifically what happened on the worst day of my life.... a day that would forever change who I am, how I think, how I love, how I speak, absolutely everything would change.

Last Monday was my 37th birthday, and it was so bittersweet for me.  One because my 36th year was hands down the hardest, most heartbreaking year of my life.  Two because it was THE YEAR that HE taught me all about HIS PERFECT LOVE, PERFECT PEACE, and ENDLESS GRACE.  This past year has been the most intense year of growing that I have EVER done in the last thirteen years of walking with HIM.

My phone rang last Monday and it was my brother calling to wish me Happy Birthday.  Our conversation started out lighthearted, and soon was heading straight into HIM speaking HIS truth to me, through my brother.  My youngest niece, his youngest daughter was diagnosed with ALL a form of cancer when she was just six years old.  She's now thirteen and in full remission, PRAISE JESUS, but the heartache, the pain, the suffering, the unknown that my brother his wife went through as parents was heartbreaking and painful to see, to know, and to hear about.  

His words that day spoke VOLUMES to my heart when he said, "I don't know how you feel, I can't begin to imagine, as we walked to the edge and looked over to what life would be like without her.  However, we NEVER had to jump.... Heather..... you didn't jump..... you were PUSHED off the cliff.  HIS grace is what has kept you from falling into the pit.  Whenever I pray for you, I pray for more of HIS grace to guide you, to help you, to sustain you in your fall."

After our conversation I thought long and hard about being PUSHED off the cliff and what that meant for me.  I can tell you that on the most ordinary, rainy afternoon of October 13, 2014 at 4 p.m. I was most definitely PUSHED off the cliff.  Not only was I pushed but HE let me know that HE would catch me as I fell with HIS grace, and I had to TRUST HIM that HIS promises are true that HE would come always come through for me.  HE let me know that in trusting HIM, to teach me, HE would have to allow my heart to become so incredibly broken...... devastatingly broken..... broken the point that would make me question whether or not HE really did love me, and did HE really have my best interest at heart.... all of which HE would answer with a RESOUNDING YES!!!

For months I clung to my FAITH in HIM, HIS promises, and poured myself into HIS word daily.  Even if that meant just laying my head on my bible, and weeping oceans of tears into HIS word, I clung to HIM.  HE held me in the darkness, and kept HIS light SHINING on me, even when I was too blind with tears to SEE it.  HE was there when the pain cut me so deep that I felt as if though I would surely die.  HE was there.

After 28 weeks of asking WHY and HOW did this happen, and HOW LORD could this possibly be the plan for our lives.  How could Seth's life here just be over?  One week before we moved into our new home HE gave us the answer.  Our precious little son Seth died of complications from a rare lung disease that we didn't even know he had.  There it was written on his death certificate, cause of death, "natural causes."   It left us reeling as to what could possibly be natural about a healthy little boy who was just going to be turning two dying, two days before his second birthday?  What could possibly be natural that his Mama and Daddy would have to plan his celebration of life and pick out his casket on what would have been, should have been his second birthday.... NONE of it made sense.

It's now been nine weeks since HIS truth was revealed to us of what happened to our precious little sweet Seth, and it hasn't gotten any easier.  Knowing, processing, how, going back into that day reliving, and even more than that, re-examining, our life with him, we could now SEE what we "thought" was teething, and colds, was something more..... something that without us knowing would take our precious little baby love away from us.  Where we would learn the hardest lesson as parents that our children are really HIS children, and that they are on loan to us, to raise, to love, to lead straight back to HIM.  Our time with Seth was over........ so what now?

A few days ago HE revealed to me WHY HE didn't warn us, WHY HE allowed Seth to die alone without any intervention.  HE revealed to me WHY all of the struggles, heartache and pain have been allowed to happen in my life.  Even replaying HIS words as I think about typing them..... I struggle..... 

"Time is my gift of protection for you.  If you knew ALL that would happen in your life, you wouldn't show up, you would shrink back.  I know it hurts, all of it hurts so much, but I promise you that GOOD will come from ALL of this.  I need you to TRUST ME that I do know what is best for you.  I will wait as long as I need to to teach you, to show you that I really am trustworthy.  Even in this heartache, sorrow, and pain, I'm with you, my heart aches with you as I am with you, and I ask that you trust ME, and hold on, just wait till you SEE what I am going to do.  I love you."

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord." Isaiah 55:8

So there it is, time is HIS gift of protection for me.  When time has hurt me so badly for the past eight months.  Time has been ripped from my hands, my heart, my life with my sweet little boy.  Time has taken me even further from the precious moments, that were made into precious memories with Seth. Time has wrecked me, and hasn't been my friend, and now I'm supposed to just understand and know that time is HIS gift of protection?  

This has left me digging even deeper into HIS word, and clinging even harder to HIS promises for my life.  Instead of backing down, shutting down, or walking away from HIM, the further I have flung myself deep into HIS word, soaking in HIS presence, surrendered myself, as I TRULY want to know and understand and SEE and LIVE out HIS goodness and GLORY that has always been intended for my life.

"Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in him." Psalm 34:8

HE is letting me know today that this means that in order to continue on this portion of my journey with HIM its going to take a Leap of Faith.  HE is telling me that it's not that I don't know WHO HE is, or what HE can or will do, but rather HE needs me to be ALL IN, when it comes to TRUSTING HIM, that HE does TRULY know what is best for my life.  To trust HIM that if HE says HE'S going to do something, that I will have the confidence to claim it for my life. 

""I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living." Psalm 27:13

In looking back on my journey since being  PUSHED off the cliff of oblivious living  I know that my FAITH in HIM has only brought me so far, that I didn't get to where I am on FAITH alone, I had to learn to TRUST HIM completely.  I had to seek HIM in the darkness, where my feet couldn't even feel the ground beneath me, I had to TRUST that HIS hand was there in mine, guiding me safely on the path.  When my tears fell like rain, and pooled as oceans at my feet, I had to TRUST HIM that HE would catch and bottle every single tear, and that ONE day HIS promise would come true for my life, that ONE day I would be able to LIVE, TRULY LIVE in PARADISE with HIM and OUR FATHER in HEAVEN with no more tears, no more heartache, no more pain, and I would no longer have to long to hold, to see, to kiss, to dance, to be with my precious little boy.

" Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see." Hebrews 11:1

"And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him." Hebrews 11:6

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6 

"You number my wanderings; Put my tears into Your bottle;Are they not in Your  book?" Psalm 56:8

"He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” Revelations 21:4

    

Today I, Heather, HIS daughter am CONFIDENT that HIS HOLY SPIRIT LIVES within me,  I, Heather am CONFIDENT that through HIS HOLY SPIRIT HE is doing a good work in me and through me for HIS purpose.  I, Heather am CONFIDENT that HE will continue to work in me and through me, until my time here on earth is through.  I, Heather am CONFIDENT that no matter what comes my way, HE'S there, holding my hand, and HE WILL keep me safe.  Though that may not mean keeping me safe from earthly death...... this was hard for me grasp and to understand, as it was the ONE thing that I struggled the most with in learning to accept and embrace my reality that my son's life here on Earth was through.

" being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." Philippians 1:6

"Keep me safe, my God, for in you I take refuge." Psalm 16:1

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28

I had to let go of what I "thought" HIS promise was to me that HE would always rescue and save us, that we were under HIS protection meant that HE would save my family from the evil one's clutches. Learning this took another huge Leap of Faith that Seth wasn't alone that afternoon, HIS angels were with HIM, and they saw HIS face as Seth was dying in his bed , and HE told them to GO and they did, and they rescued him.  Through HIS truth of HIS words, I was able to take that HUGE Leap of Faith that HE rescued Seth, and gave me the confidence and peace of mind knowing that Seth went from his loving sister's arms straight into JESUS' loving arms.  

"See that you do not despise one of these little ones. For I tell you that their angels in heaven always see the face of my Father in heaven." Matthew 18:10

" Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” Matthew 19:14

Seth knew only of love in this life, and left this life to LIVE with the most PERFECT LOVE, and that brings me such peace.  I am thankful that yesterday was another Monday, and at precisely 4 p.m. as I sat on my couch, I breathed in HIS peace.  I breathed HIM in, as I knew that NOTHING could EVER take away HIS perfect peace from me, as HE has proven to me that HE is always with me, and HE will help me get through anything that comes my way.  I say this with CONFIDENCE because I have lived through the worst day of my life.  I have survived that day, and months following, all because I chose to take a HUGE Leap of Faith and TRUST HIM with everything.

"And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:7

"I can do all this through him who gives me strength." Philippians 4:13

My Dear Brothers and Sisters in CHRIST JESUS,  It is my fervent prayer that you will come to know HIM as I have come to know HIM.  Not because you have memorized scripture, or that you can quote verbatim HIS word, or pray eloquently, but rather that in your realness, and rawness of your sorrow, sadness, and pain, you choose to seek HIM.  To allow yourself to be rescued by HIM, as HE is your SAVIOR.  I pray that you will have the courage to take a Leap of Faith and allow HIM to teach, lead, and guide you to know, to understand, to TRUST that HE does indeed know what is best for you.  I pray today that if you too are living in darkness, that you will tilt your head back and look up and SEE HIS light shining for you.

Always with so much love and compassion,

Your Sister in CHRIST JESUS,

~ Heather