HIS vision

Billy Graham once said, "We can't see the wind but we can feels its effects.  In the same way, we can't see GOD, but we can certainly see HIS effects."

I have learned throughout this 10 year journey of walking with CHRIST, that nothing is by chance.  It's not by fate, rather it is by HIS plan & HIS purpose.  It has been HIS vision that has lead me to being who I am today.  

As a Mama to 5 amazing blessings my prayers should consist of them forming their own personal relationships with JESUS.  However, sadly that has not been my prayer, as I have been too focused on me, and have lost sight of who I am to them.  To know this about me, grieves me that I have fallen so short of what HE has called me to do with my own children, HIS children.  Thankfully HE loves me enough to open my eyes, and reveal HIS vision to me about who I am called to be for HIS children.

HE is asking me to pray for them that they will not only form their own personal relationships with Jesus, but also that they will realize that they too "need " HIM every single moment of their lives.  I must pray for them that they too will go boldly against what the world is saying to them, and pick up their own cross and follow HIM, even though that isn't what the world says to do.  I must pray that they too will hear HIS "whispers," and heed HIS callings for their lives.

Today HE has revealed to me that since I have become a Mama I have always felt the "need" to control every aspect of my children's lives.  Now while this may have worked when they were little, now that two of them are teenagers, I can tell you this does not.  HE is letting me know that GONE are the days where I can control, and fix all of their problems.  GONE are the days where I can kiss their boo boos and make everything all better with ice cream.  GONE are the days where a hug, and a smile will make all the world's problems just go away.  Life as I know it, and they know it, is real, tough, and sometimes just plain hard.  

HE is letting me know that though my greatest desire is to "fix" what is broken in their lives, it is not for me to fix.  I am learning that when they are being challenged, it is not up to me to fight their battle for them.  Therefore, I must encourage them to fight their own battles, by seeking HIM and asking HIM to teach, lead, and guide them through their own life's problems.

HIS Daily Teachings today is letting me know that though I may be able to encourage my children to walk daily with JESUS, I can't do the walk for them.  I must never try and talk them out of the calling that HE has placed on their lives.  I am learning that this means, I must let go of my incessant "need" of trying to change them into being who I "think" they should be, rather than who HE has made them to be.   I must never push my agenda and telling them they have to seek HIM, rather I must encourage them to seek HIM, and I must live my life as a testament of what living for the LORD is like, so that they too will want the same for their lives.

I can only pray that they too will have their hearts filled with the desire to die unto themselves, and pick up their crosses and follow HIM.  I can only pray that they will let go of their own "need" to please this world, and follow HIM no matter what the world says to do.  I am learning that it is not about them simply knowing of JESUS, but rather it is about them knowing JESUS.

HE is letting me know that in my saying "YES" to GOD, I am modeling what it is to be a true CHRIST follower to them.  I am learning that whether I like it or not, they are learning how to deal & cope with their own storms of life, based on how I deal and cope with my own.

Therefore, I must be GOD honoring, in my speech and actions.  I must show them HIS mercy, and HIS grace.  I must let go of my incessant "need" to be right all of the time.  HE has reminded me that some of my most painful moment's of my childhood were where the adults in my life, were always right, and to them I was just some stupid little kid.  I never want my children to believe that, this is the way I feel about them.  I want them to know that their opinions matter, and that I respect them.  I want them to know that it is o.k. that we won't always see eye to eye.  I want them to know that no matter what they may do in life, I will never turn my back on them, and I will never stop loving them.  

HE is asking me once again today to let go....... and let GOD.  He is letting me know that my children, HIS children need me to pray for them in a way that I have never prayed for them before.  HE is telling me that I must pray for my precious children to become HIS disciple's.  I am learning that I must pray that they will be filled with courage and conviction to be world changers.  I must pray that they will be able to go beyond what the world says to do.  I must pray that they too will have the courage to say "YES" to HIM when the world is pointing to ALL things "NO."

GOD is asking me to have a radically obedient heart, even when what HE is asking me to do doesn't make any sense.  He is wanting me to know that it is not about me knowing it all, but rather trusting that HE has everything worked out for HIS good according to HIS plans.   HE is telling me that it is about HIS vision, and not my own.

I wrote this prayer out in my journal today during HIS teaching, "LORD JESUS, create in me a heart that says "YES" because YOU have said so.  I promise to obey YOU, no matter how I or the world may feel about it.  LORD create in me a heart like Simon Peter, one that obeys you, even when I am tired, and feeling weary.  LORD create in me a radically obedient heart that goes beyond what I feel I should have to do.  Fill my heart with desire to do all the things that YOU call me to do.  I need YOU LORD JESUS, to teach, lead, and guide me through every single moment of this day, I love YOU ~ Amen."

"When he had finished speaking, he said to Simon, “Put out into deep water, and let down the nets for a catch.” Simon answered, “Master, we’ve worked hard all night and haven’t caught anything. But because you say so, I will let down the nets.” Luke 5:4-5

GOD is wanting me to know that I must not be lazy in my walk with HIM, but rather live my life with radical obedience.  So many times, I know HE has called me to do something, and I allow the excuses of my life to get in the way.  Some times, I am not busy, but rather, I just want to do what I want to do, and am tired of doing things for other people.  Some times I am just plain tired, and therefore I am lazy.  However, if I am not careful I take on that lazy attitude, and maintain it, and that rubs off onto my children.  I don't want to be raising 5 procrastinators, I want to be raising 5 radically obedient disciples of CHRIST JESUS.

Today's teaching was tough for me, as it made me examine how I truly am, and see where I have fallen short in bringing GLORY and HONOR to HIS name.  HE has revealed to me that the more I put emphasis in doing what the world tells me to do, the more of HIS blessings I am missing out on.  It is because that I now know this, I do not want the same thing to happen to my children.  I don't want them missing out on HIS great blessings for their lives, just because their lazy Mama didn't model obedience very well.  Therefore, I must model a radically obedient heart for the LORD, so that my children will know how to truly live for GOD.

GOD has taught me this morning this HIS meeting of Simon Peter, that when I radically obey, HIS blessings in return will be overflowing and overwhelming in my life.  Therefore, I must pray for my children to have the desire for HIM to create radically obedient hearts in them.

HE is reminding me today that my radical obedience has lead to HIS calling, and show HIS vision for my life.  I have learned that I must never question even what I see as mundane things that HE has called me to do.  As, I may never know how life changing it could be for me.  I have learned that being in HIS word daily is a must for my life.  I wish that is the way it has always been, but sadly it is not.  I went many years "claiming" to have a relationship with JESUS, without even seeking HIM.  I don't want my own children to live their lives that way, therefore I must show them what a daily walk with HIM is like.

I can only imagine where I would be right now had I not surrendered and began to live out HIS calling for my life.  I can only imagine what kind of wife and mama I would be.  I can only imagine what kind of friend I would be.  I know that none of my life has been by chance, or by fate.  I know that it has not been my vision, but rather HIS vision that has brought me to where I am in my life today.

In the last part of HIS teaching today HE has once again reminded me of my "pride."  HE is letting me know that in choosing to be radically obedient, there is no longer any room for my pride.  HE has reminded me that under no circumstances will HE ever allow me to live with pride, as HE hates a prideful attitude. 

" But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says: “God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble." James 4:6

"Many times the little steps leading to the bigger steps in our calling will be tests that help whittle the pride out of our heart." Lysa Terkeurst

I pray today that you will see that HIS vision is what is truly best for your life.  I pray today that you will seek HIM, and ask HIM to create in you a desire to be radically obedient.  I pray today that you will let go of your "need" to be a world pleaser, and become a world changer.  I pray that HIS favor and blessings will be poured over your life when you begin to live out HIS vision for your life.

Blessings,
Heather 

prayers full of tears....

Today my prayers are full of tears.  My heart is so heavy and full of fear, anxiety, discontent, worry, strife, anger, so many emotions wrapped up inside.  The more I seek HIM the more I feel as if though my faith is slipping with each obstacle that comes in my way of walking the path that HE has chosen for me. 

My heart is incredibly heavy for my children today, as they are all very much struggling with adjusting to their new schools.  It has been very hard on them to leave the only real place they ever called home.  It was incredibly hard for them to leave their mentors, and a church that they loved.   In the past month I have witnessed each of my children break down, including my four year old son.

This past weekend we were in our previous town, and when he realized that we weren't going "home" to the place he called home for most of the life that he could remember, he broke into tears.  He cried even harder when he realized that we would not be going to his "friends house" (church).  This broke my heart, and I didn't even know how to console him. 

My heart is heavy, in wanting to do what is good and right.  My prayers are seeking HIM to teach, lead, and guide me to making the right decisions when it comes to helping my children navigate through this change.  My prayers of tears are for HIM to hold me when I feel as if though I can no longer stand.  My prayers are for HIM to restore and renew my health, as I have been battling sickness since we moved.  

Today is a day of prayer for me, with tears streaming down my face, I am seeking HIM.  I am praying that HIS truth, HIS love, HIS forgiveness, and most importantly HIS grace will be poured over me.   I pray that HE will annoint me with HIS words, and lead me to speak in love, and to act in love.

HIS Daily Teachings today is leading me right into Psalm 143.  HE is asking me to break this down, and tell how it applies to my life.

"O Lord ,hear my prayer, listen to my cry for mercy" ~ as I sit and type tears streaming down my face, I am crying out to GOD, as HE is the only who can help me in this time.  I am finding comfort in the song "Draw Me Close to YOU"

"in your faithfulness and righteousness come to my relief" ~ Oh how I am needing relief from this feeling of brokenness, and weariness.  I am seeking HIM to take away my feelings of fear and anxiety.  I am laying it all down.

"Do not bring your servant into judgement, for no one living is righteous before you"  ~ I am thankful to know that HE is not judging me, but rather loving me enough to take me through this tough storm of confession that I have not been laying my burdens down.

"The enemy pursues me, he crushes me to the ground;  he makes me dwell in darkness like those long dead. ~ lately I have felt the more I try and draw closer to GOD, the more intently Satan pursue's me.  I have lost my footing several times during this transition in this journey of change.   My days have been darker than I want, I know that not every day is going to be sunshine and roses, however, I never expected to be crushed by this darkness.  HE has reminded me of another song that I hold close to my heart during my times of darkness "I Will Be Here for You" by Michael W. Smith.

"So my spirit grows faint within me; my heart within me is dismayed" ~ oh how I long not to have my spirit be downcast, but rather full of life, HIS love, HIS truth, HIS grace.  I am comforted today in knowing that during this storm HE is with me, and I am in good company, as many people have walked this same journey of darkness that I am currently in.

"I remember the days of long ago; I meditate on all your works and consider what your hands have done" ~ HE is reminding me this morning of all that HE has done for me.  Looking back on my life, I can see HIS hand on my life, and through some of my darkest storms.  Though this is a different storm, HE is promising me that HE is right here with me.  I am comforted to know that HIS HOLY SPIRIT is living in me, and HE is the air that I breathe. 

"I spread out my hands to you; my soul thirsts for you like a parched land" ~ as each day passes in my journey towards wholeness, I am finding myself so thirsty for HIS word, and HIS truth.  HE is letting me know that my thirst will never be quenched unless I surrender and seek HIM daily to teach, lead, and guide me every single moment of my life.

"Answer me quickly, O' Lord; my spirit fails."  ~ LORD JESUS create in me a patient heart, one that will wait for YOUR promptings and YOUR teachings.  LORD help me to not be so discouraged when times become tough.  Help me to remain strong in my faith, and not waiver when the waves crash upon me.  

"Do not hide your face from me or I will be like those who go down to the pit." ~ HE is letting me know that it is not HE who is hiding their face, but rather it is me.  HE is letting me know that though I may "try" to hide from HIM, I am never able to achieve being hidden.  HE is wanting me to know that when I seek HIM daily, and surrender, HE will not let me fall into the pit of despair.  HE will help me, all I have to do is ask.

"Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love" ~ HE is letting me know that HIS mercies are new every morning, and with HIS mercies, comes HIS  unfailing love.  HE is telling me that nothing I could ever do would ever make HIM love me any less.

"for I have put my trust in you" ~ I know that because I have placed all my trust in HIM, and given all of me to HIM, HE will help me.  HE is reminding me once again that HE loves me, and HE seeks all of my trust.  HE wants me to put HIM above all else, and not ever waiver from that decision.

"Show me the way  I should go, for to you  I lift up my soul" ~ I am learning that the only path I can travel with certainty is the path that HE has created for me.  I know that when I choose to align my thoughts and actions with HIS, HE is there, always helping me along the way.  I am learning that when I can no longer walk, HE will carry me.  HE has lovingly reminded me this morning that through everything I go through, I am never alone.

"Rescue me from my enemies, O' Lord, for I hide myself in you"  ~ HE is wanting me to know that HE is my refuge, HE is my safe haven, the place where I know I can go, and nothing will be able to harm me.  HE is letting me know that nothing that I ever go through in this life, will I ever be truly alone.  HE is wanting me to meditate on that very thought, so that my life will be a living testament for my children, so that when they too are going through the tough storms of life, they will know that they are never alone.

"Teach me to do your will, for you are my God;" ~ HE is reminding me once again that I must seek HIM daily to teach, lead, and guide me through every single moment of my life.  I am learning that on the days where I don't seek HIM, and ask HIM to teach me, I fall, and fall hard.  I am learning that when I don't put HIM first my day never goes right.

"may your good Spirit lead me on level ground" ~ HE is wanting me to know that when I choose to be HOLY SPIRIT lead, no matter how rough the path may be, it will be as though I am walking a smoothe surface.

"For your name's sake, O' Lord, preserve my life;"  I am learning that in choosing to live my faith out loud, I am covered my HIS blood.  I know that by speaking HIS word, and HIS truth that nothing could ever come against me.  I am learning that this does not mean that I will never experience heart ache, but rather I will be comforted, and filled by HIS peace as HE will never forsake me.  I am truly comforted by that very thought this morning.

"in your righteousness, bring me out of trouble." ~ HE is letting me know that because HIS love is perfect, HE will heal my heart, and make it clean, HE will open up my eyes, and show me how to love like HIM.  HE is wanting me to see how great HIS love is for me, that no matter what I do, HE will always rescue me.  

"In your unfailing love, silence my enemies; destroy all my foes" ~ HE is telling me that HIS love in unfailing, and HE will not let anything harm me.  HE is wanting me to know that when I speak HIS truth, and share HIS love, and grace, and give mercy to others, HE will protect me.  I know that in choosing HIM I am covered by HIS sacrifice for my life.  

"For I am your servant" ~ I am being reminded once again that this is all for HIS glory and not mine.  I am to pick up my cross daily, and let HIM lead me.  I must die unto myself, and seek HIS face daily.  I am comforted as nothing is this life has ever brought me more joy than being HIS servant.

This morning I am comforted by HIS loving reminder that my life is about HIS will, and not my own.  I am being filled by HIS peace, that HIS plans and purpose for my life, are far greater than anything I could ever imagine.  I know that HE is wanting me to teach my children the very same about their lives.  HE is wanting me to let them know that HE is with them, and is asking me to lift them in prayer daily, and teach them to pray to HIM, and ask HIM daily to teach, lead, and guide them through every single moment of their day.


I pray today that you will know HE hears every single one your prayers of tears.  I pray that you will be comforted by HIS unfailing love, and that you will receive HIS loving touch.  I pray today that you will have the courage to lay it all at the foot of the cross, and die unto yourself.  I pray that if you have never accepted JESUS CHRIST as your SAVIOR, today will be the day that you will know that HE is waiting for you.  HE is waiting with arms wide open, full of HIS unending love and grace, and is waiting for to know that it is with HIM that your new life will begin.

Blessings,
Heather 

HE said "no"

Today I am going to be totally transparent in saying "Hi am I Heather and I have a bad attitude."  Not only do I have a bad attitude, but lately I been having several "pity parties for one."  I have become a very "woe" is me person in certain areas of my life.  Why? you ask, well all because "HE said, "no."  

Not only did HE say NO, but HE slammed the door shut tight on my ideas.  Not only were they my ideas, but I felt as if though they were great ideas.  They were honoring, or at least what I thought they were.  However, once again, HE is letting me know that it is not about me, and it is not for my glory, rather it is about HIM, and it is ALL for HIS glory!  

HIS Daily Teachings today is about the reoccurring theme in my life, and that is that my life is all about how my perspective, doesn't always have to match up with HIS provision.  However, the more that I seek HIM, the more I will see HIM in every single area of my life.  HE is reminding me that when I became a CHRIST follower my perspective of my life changed.  My perspective changed in a way that the more I sought HIM the more I found HIM in every area of my life.

What I have learned in my 10 year journey with HIM is this:  Though I may not always understand the whys as to what happens in my life, I can trust that I know WHO is working all of this for HIS good.  I am learning that no matter what the circumstances may be in my life, I will received HIS blessed assurance that HE can, will, and does work out everything for my own good.

This morning I was woken up at 2.a.m. by a loud crash, my son had fallen out of bed.  As I laid there, my mind began to race about all of the things I have either said, or done this past week, that were less than GOD honoring.  The more I "tried" to fall back asleep, the more I sensed that HE was asking me to talk to HIM. So here I am it's now 3:03 a.m. and I am up writing my blog.  

Lately I have felt such a discontentment with my life's circumstances.  Mainly because HE has moved us from our church family.  We are in a new area, where we are not serving, and though I may not have needed it in my previous time with HIM, I need it now.  I am learning that I am not fulfilled in the way that HE wants me to be, unless I am serving in HIS house, and doing my small part of bringing HIS kingdom of Heaven here to Earth. 

HE is wanting me to know this morning that when I am feeling "woe" is me because HE said "no" I must seek HIM, as to well ok, "you said "no," so what does that mean?  "What are you saying "yes" to then?"  I am learning that I must seek HIM in every single area of my life, and wait for HIS timing and provision for my life, in order to be able to live a truly peaceful and blessed life.

HE is wanting me to know that it is during the times that HE says "no," that Satan is ready and waiting.  Waiting to destroy any ounce of faith and trust that I have in HIM.  Satan is ready to distort my thinking, and challenge me to question whether or not GOD really is for me.    I am learning that in allowing Satan to distort my thinking, I am taking myself further from HIS plans, and HIS purpose for my life.

HE is wanting me to know today that I must not allow Satan to derail me, as when I do, I am not able to share HIS good news with anyone.  HE is asking me once again to relinquish control over my life, to surrender, and to pick up my cross and follow HIM.  HE is asking me to trust HIM fully with my life, and in everything that I say I do I must be honoring to HIM.  

HE is wanting me to know that especially in the times where I HE said "no," I must have faith and trust that it  is for my provision, and it is HIS way of growing my faith in HIM.  Therefore, I must keep on praising HIM, "no matter what" happens in my life.

"We also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance produces, character; and character, hope." Romans 5:3

Lysa Terkeurst writes: "GOD'S word calls me to rejoice!  NOT that I rejoice in the bad things-- I would have to fake that.  But I can rejoice in what GOD is doing in me through difficult time."

I am learning that I am always going to be struggling at some point in my life, and rather than just lying down and admitting defeat, and sending out those pity party invitations, I must seek HIM, and trust HIS timing and provision for my life.  I must let go.... and let GOD take over.    HE is wanting me to know that no matter how difficult the circumstances become in my life, I must  remember that HE is faithful, and HE is true to HIS word.

"For he has not despised or scorned the suffering of the afflicted one; he has not hidden his face from him but has listened to his cry for help." Psalm 22:24

HE is wanting me to know that when I am feeling like HE isn't hearing me, it is for my provision.  HE is letting me know that EVERYTHING is in HIS timing, and provision.  Therefore, when I am feeling discourage because HE said, "no," to something I have prayed for, I must trust that HE said "no" for my provision and my protection.

Lysa Terkeurst writes: "GOD always hears me when I cry out to HIM, and when HE says "no," its for my provision, and my protection, and it's part of the process of growing me more like CHRIST."

GOD is wanting me to know that in the times where I am feeling weary and weak, HE is there!  HE is there filling in the gaps where I am NOT able to.  HE answers my prayers, by calling on others, and waiting for them to heed HIS "whispers."  I am learning that HE helps me not to feel weary and weak by sending HIS servants to serve me.  That just as HE calls me to serve others, HE calls other's to serve me.  

Yesterday HE called on my soul sister "B" to speak HIS truth to my life, and my current circumstances.  Though I may not have wanted to hear it, I know that if HE called upon her to speak so boldly about HIS timing and provision, then I must listen.

When "B" spoke to me I knew that it was directly from HIM.  HE is wanting me to know that because "B" allowed herself to be HOLY SPIRIT lead, then I was able to hear HIS message for my life.  

As I sit here and type this early morning, I am finding myself yawning, and feel a headache coming on.  I know that this is just to derail me from sharing HIS good news this morning.  Thankfully I serve an almighty and powerful GOD and HIS is bigger than my tiredness, and headache, and HE can will & does provide my every need.

Today HE is challenging me with these words, "How can HE be our Ultimate Provider, if we aren't ever lacking and in need."  Whenever my life gets tough, I tend to feel sad, and ask HIM why this is happening, what HE is wanting me to know that is that I must depend on HIM for everything in my life.  I must trust that just because HE said "no, " doesn't mean that HE hates me, or is against me.  Rather it's because HE loves me, and knows what is best for me, that is why HE says "no."  

HE has reminded me of it just like this, I tell my children "no" all of the time, because I as their Mama know what's best for them.  I expect them to trust me, and to respect that I say no, hmmm, however when I think about it.... I am pretty defiant in when HE is telling me "no," therefore if I am defiant, I am modeling that to my own children about how not to listen and obey being told "no" and oh my here comes some more humble pie.....

Just as my children can't expect to have everything go their way, neither can I.  HE is reminding me that the only way I am ever going to learn anything is by HIM challenging me.  HE is wanting me to know that instead of feeling "woe" is me, I should be saying "Yeah" its me!  I am understanding this as saying, "MY heavenly father loves me so much that HE challenges me every single moment of my journey with HIM.  HE loves me enough to teach, lead, and guide me through each day of my journey.  HE loves me enough to tell me "no" for my own provision and protection.

HIS final teaching before dawn this morning is this: "GOD has worked good in, every one of these situations.  As I look back and reflect on our difficult times, I can see how HE has protected us."

I pray today that just because HE said "no" you will continue to seek HIM.  I pray that HE will reveal HIS timing and provision for your life.  I pray that you will be able to see HIM amidst the struggles in your life.  I pray that you will be able to boldly pray and seek HIM in every area of your life.  I pray that HIS favor and blessings will be poured over your life for your obedience.

Blessings,
Heather 

"GOD smacked"

"I was discouraged.  In two month's time my life went from being wonderfully fulfilling and clicking right along to completely topsy-turvy.  I felt myself getting caught in a whirlwind of emotions."

No truer words have ever been spoken about my life right now.  However, I didn't write these, no I read them in Lysa Terkeurst's book.  As I read those words, for the 5th time, I was thankful that someone was able to articulate exactly how I felt.  

In two month's time I went from serving in a church that I loved, one that I called "home."  A church that was filled with my "family," where I was a part of "having a heart for the house."  I enjoyed the women's ministry called "Sisterhood," and was so rooted in my faith was so happy.  

My children were also very involved in our church, and they too were rooted in their faith, and felt very strong in their convictions.  We loved our Pastor and his family, and had close connections with several families at our church.  Life as we knew it was great!

However........... there was a dark side to our happiness.... one that would threaten to demolish our happiness at a moment's notice.   That darkness was in the form of D's job.  D had been working for the same company for the past 8 years, and in that time his job became increasingly more and more demanding.  

Four years ago when our son was turning one,  D made the announcement that he was going to be needing to spend more time at the office.  Little did I or our other children know that this meant he would leave for the office around 2:30 a.m. and wouldn't be home until 11 p.m.  His job grew more and more demanding, and I began slipping further and further into a deep pit of depression.  This went on for four years, until finally I had endured what I thought was all I could possibly take, and I began to voice my opinion. 

Now I know what your thinking, this couldn't have gone well.  Well you would be right in thinking that, in fact it went so wrong that every time I was needing some help with our 5 children he would roll his eyes as if I was asking the world of him.  Our communication was in the gutter, as was our marriage.  As each day passed I felt us moving further and further away from each other.  Things were happening in our marriage that we had never dealt with before, and I was losing it.  

I was losing it with D, my children, and myself.  I was falling apart at the seams, and all I seemed to be able to do was cry.  For months I prayed, "Lord!  Change him!!!"  Over and over, month after month I "prayed" that GOD would give D the biggest GOD smack, and wake him up!  I continued with this insanity for probably six months or so, and finally I decided I couldn't do it anymore.  I began to think about leaving D.  I imagined how I would tell him, and our children.  I imagined how it would work out, me being a truly single mother, and raising 5 kids on my own.  

I was hell bent that NONE of this was my fault, and all his fault.  However, thankfully as you know how my life goes by now, GOD intervened, and captured my heart.  HE began to challenge me to pray for D in a way that I had never prayed for him before. My prayers went from, "Lord!  Change him!!!," to "Lord! Change me!!!"  

Slowly as each morning passed GOD revealed more and more to me about my faith or lack there of , my selfishness, my pride (oh this was a tough one for me) my unforgiveness I harbored in my heart, my anger (I was soooo angry), and most of all my resentment towards D. 

Faithfully I remained in HIS word for days upon days, seeking HIM each morning, and laying it all out that without HIM I couldn't do anything.  I began to pray even more passionately for the three requests I made in January.  However, behind my prayer was a selfish agenda, and that was that all three prayer requests would be answered in "my way." 

I shudder to think of the blessings that we would have missed out on had we done things "my way."  I am thankful that I received what was probably one of the biggest "GOD smacks" of my entire life.  Almost immediately when I surrendered everything to HIM, HE began to move me through the storm of darkness that was threatening my marriage, my family, and our livelihood.  

Now here we are in our new life, new home, new job, new town, new schools, totally new surroundings.  Here I am, being completely ungrateful, and still looking back over my shoulder, and crying about everything that our family is missing out on in our previous life.  I believe today that HIS Daily Teaching was to remind me that though everything seemed wonderful for the children and I in our previous life, when I began to uncover the hidden truths, HIS truth about the reality of our lives then,  I would never want to go through that storm again, not ever!  

Today I am thankful that in the midst of my tears, and loneliness, GOD has once again wrapped me up in HIS loving arms, and revealed HIS truth to me.  Today I am thankful for the friendships that HE has brought into our lives where we are right now.  Today I am thankful that my marriage to D is stronger than ever, and that I am a much better wife, and mama having gone through the storm and was "GOD smacked" into surrender, that ultimately saved our family, our life together. 

I pray today that if you too are struggling, and are in need of change, that you will turn to HIM, and allow yourself to be "GOD smacked."  Though it may hurt your pride a little, I pray that you will see what a blessing it is to surrender completely to HIM, and allow HIS plans, and HIS purpose be the center of your life.  I pray today that  you will have the courage to say NO to yourself, and YES to HIM!

Blessings,
Heather 

"Magnify"

My life these days is anything but peaceful.  As a Mama of now two teenage daughters, a preteen daughter, a preschool aged son, and a little toddler son.... well I guess you could say each moment of my day is challenging.  Today was a "fail" as a mama of a teen.  More than anything I am craving peace these days when it come's to be a Mama, especially when it comes to being a Mama to both of my teens.  I am struggling in staying GOD honoring in my speech and actions.  Like all of my struggles, GOD is working in themes in my life once again, and presenting HIS teachings to me every chance HE gets.

When I was finally able to sit down this morning after taking all the kids to school, putting my littlest down for his morning nap, and making sure my 4 year old was preoccupied, I dove straight into HIS word.  I poured my heart out into my journal about the current condition of my heart, and fell face first into HIS arms.  HE like always was waiting for me, and when my pity party was over, HE began to teach me.

"Peace is the fruit of the obedient, righteous life."

HIS Daily Teachings today is a reminder to me that if I am ever going to be able to live a peaceful life, one of which is not derailed by naysayers, and attacks by Satan, I must choose to walk in obedience daily..... moment to moment.  I must pray without ceasing!  I must always seek HIM to teach lead, and guide me from one moment to the next.  I must obey HIS commands NO MATTER WHAT or HOW I MAY FEEL!!!  (really putting the emphasis on that as I feel like HE was really drilling that into my head today.... can you tell it's been a rough day?!?)

As I read my current read by Lysa Terkeurst, she really caught my attention with this thought.  "One of the most radical blessings for the woman saying "YES" to GOD is the peace that rushes through the soul of the one who is attentive to the LORD'S commands."  As I read that over for the third time, I began to pray in my heart, LORD this is WHO I want to be... help me LORD JESUS, help me to obey YOUR commands, so that I will be open to receiving YOUR radical blessings.

Beth Moore writes: "To have peace like a river is to have security and tranquility while meeting the many bumps and unexpected turns on life's journey.  Peace is submission to a trustworthy Authority, not resignation from activity."

Today HE is letting me know that if I truly desire to be filled with HIS peace, then I must not let anything get in the way of my trusting HIM fully with my life.  I must lean on HIM to help me through the storms of my life.  I must choose to speak boldly of HIS truth about WHOSE I am, and live a life that shows WHOSE I am.  I must NOT seek world peace, but rather HIS peace that surpasses anything of this world.

Today as I was feeling sorry for myself, as my life has become so difficult in raising these five children, GOD made sure that two of my soul-sisters contacted me.  Tonight I am so thankful that K & A both called me, and gave me the kick in the rear that I had been needing.  I am thankful that they both are obedient in speaking HIS truth to my life.  Who encouraged and assured me that NO MATTER WHAT I was dealing with it is normal, and HE knows all about it.   They both encouraged me to choose my battles wisely, and once again talked me down off the ledge.  I am so thankful for both of my soul-sisters for their boldness and courage to say the tough things to me, and for not trying to spare my feelings.  I am thankful that even though I may be sad in the moment, I know that what they are saying is being said by HIS HOLY SPIRIT.

Now even though I am thankful now, I wasn't then.  In fact, as each of them spoke to me, I thought, "seriously?  Why can't you just say something like, "Oh Heather I am so sorry you are going through that, oh I feel so sorry for you."  I mean come on, is it too much to ask to have someone attend my pity party?!?  I do hope you know I am being sarcastic.  In the moment though, I wasn't, and that is why HIS Daily Teachings was stretched out for the entire day!!!  OH Joy of Joys!!!  Oh how I LOVE to be reminded of how stubborn I am being!  

When I finally got over it, and left my pity party of one, I knew and understood that GOD was wanting me to know that HE isn't interested in making me feel better.  Rather He is interested in making me strong in my faith and convictions.  HE is letting me know  that HE wants me to live out my life as a living testament for my children, and to be GOD honoring in my speech and my actions.

Today HE lovingly reminded me that HIS peace is unlike the world's peace, therefore I must seek HIS peace, in order to fulfill HIS plans and purpose for my life.

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." John 14:27


HE is wanting me to know that while the world is telling me to achieve is my pulling back from my responsibilities and making things easier for me, that is NOT HIS plan and HIS purpose for my life.  HE is letting me know that the problem in following the world's idea of peace is that I am NOT here to be all about myself, rather I am here to be all about HIM!!!

He is reminding me that I am to die unto myself and surrender my self-centeredness.  I am to seek HIM and ask HIM to transform my heart and mind to be like HIS.  HE is telling me HE wants me to be focused on only HIM, HIS ways, HIS example, HIS truth, and when I do HIS peace will run through me and over me.

HE is wanting me to know that when I keep my mind focused on HIM, HIS glory is magnified in my life, and HIS kingdom of Heaven is brought here to Earth.  HE is letting me know that when I magnify my life's problems according to what the world says, my problems will then seem bigger than WHO GOD is in my life!

Therefore I must keep my focus on HIM and "Magnify" HIM in my life as HE is much BIGGER than my problems!  There is a saying that I have read many time's on facebook that goes like this, "Instead of telling GOD how BIG your problems are, tell your problems how BIG your GOD is!"  In my journey towards wholeness it seems as if though I am always either going through a storm, or bracing myself for the next storm.  GOD is wanting me to know today that I must choose to "Magnify" HIM in my life, so that the storms of my life, will NOT be able to wipe me out!

Today HE has lovingly reminded me through many people, and many ways that once again I have magnified my problems, and failed to "Magnify" HIM.  I must be bold and speak with courage of HIS truth over my life!  I must be faithful and choose to believe that HE is who HE says HE is, and HE will do what HE says HE will do!  

HIS Daily Teachings today has had me digest a HUGE slice of HIS humble pie!  Tonight I am sensing from HIM that HE really wants me to focus on this prayer that I read today:

JESUS, JESUS oh how I love YOU and want YOU more than anything else.  I love YOU and want YOU more than the approval of my peers, family, and friends, and even the naysayers of my life.  I love YOU and want YOU more than the comforts and trappings of this world.  I love YOU and choose to believe YOUR truth over Satan's lies.  I love YOU and choose to worship YOU, and YOU alone. JESUS, JESUS oh how I love YOU and want to come to YOU empty handed and offer my life in complete surrender."

I am learning that saying "YES" to GOD is a lot more about being and than doing.  It is choosing WHO I will worship and then depending on GOD to give me the strength to follow through.  Therefore, I must choose to "Magnify" the LORD, and I will wait for HIS peace to wash over me.

I pray today that you will seek to "Magnify" HIM above all else.  I pray today that you will have the courage to speak boldly to your problems just how BIG your GOD is!  I pray today that you will be filled with HIS peace that surpasses anything of this world.  I pray that if you are hurting right now, that you will know that you are not alone!  I pray that when you seek HIM, HE will reveal HIMSELF to you, and you will witness HIS unending love, and HIS unending grace.

Blessings,
Heather 

"temporary home"

Since our move just over three weeks ago, I have felt as if though I have fallen into a pit.  One of which has been filled with anger, animosity, despair, ungratefulness, pity parties, and over all negative thinking.  This pit has been a part of my life for a long time now.  There have been many seasons of my life, that this same pit has almost destroyed me.  Thankfully because of my heavenly Father's love, I know that no matter how far I may stray, HE is waiting with arms wide open for me to run straight back into them.

HIS Daily Teachings today has been a compilation of several daily teachings for the past four days.  Hence the reason I haven't blogged.  When I allow myself to fall into the pit, I close myself off from what HE is trying to teach me.  In allowing myself to fall, I lose my positive thinking, and my ability to be GOD honoring in my speech.  Those two things single handily have wreaked havoc in my daily walk for the past three weeks.  

Today HIS loving reminder that this life that I have been blessed with is just my "temporary home."  I am thankful for this reminder, as I have been so wrapped up in everything that we have lost, and not been able to see what we have gained.  We all as a family are struggling in finding our purpose in our new journey that GOD has us on.  My children are trying their best to adjust to their new schools, and I as their Mama am struggling, as their tears and sadness are heartbreaking, as we really did love our life in our previous home.  

We are now attending a mega church, and are mere audience members, and not leaders.  We don't have the friendships that we had in our previous home, and we are all struggling with not feeling like we fit in.  D has said, it is as though we are "fish out of water."  However, GOD has let me know this morning that this is all just "temporary."  Therefore I must choose to remember that, and to trust HIM completely that HE has everything worked out for my own good.

Today HIS loving reminder is comforting me through the following verses of the song "Temporary Home" by Carrie Underwood.  "This is my temporary home, it's not where I belong.  Windows and rooms that I'm passing through. This is just a stop on the way to where I'm going. I'm not afraid because I know. This is my temporary home."

This past Sunday Pastor Bill Hybels asked the question, "are you satisfied?  With your job, house, car, friends, the money you make?  Are you satisfied with your life?"  That very question spoke volumes to me that I was able to answer yes to all but one area, and that was that this is all just "temporary" that though I may feel lost right now, HIS plans for my future are greater than I could possibly imagine.  I am thankful that HE has let me know that no matter how far I may stray, its never so far that I am not within HIS reach.

This morning GOD has asked me to get real with what the condition of my heart really is.  I can honestly say that my heart is feeling overwhelmed.  I know that I have strayed from the path that HE has chosen for me, and partly because of laziness on my part.  Life has gotten too hard in some areas, therefore rather than working through the tough areas, I have run away.  I know that I have strayed because I am not sure what my purpose is in our newest adventure.  I feel lost because I am now attending a mega church and not serving, all because I am overwhelmed. 

My heart is very heavy right now as I feel lost for my children.  Though each of them are doing their best to adjust to their new schools, things have been very tough for them as well.  This move has been very hard on them, as they have left all of their friends, and the church where they first really felt close to the LORD.  Leaving our church for all of us, has made us feel unsure, and unsteady.

There was a day last week, where I fell apart, and cried out, "why did everything change?"  I know that HE heard me, and it was then that HE began to teach me about my "temporary home," however, in my stuborness, I wasn't having any of it.  No, in true Heather fashion, I ran, and hid and tried to bury myself in unpacking and making our house a home. 

In my current read this morning I was reminded of just how detrimental it is to allow Satan's lies into my life through these words, "when we worry we have pity parties where the guests of honor are negative thinking, and resignation."

GOD is letting me know that I am guilty of allowing all of these things to happen to me.  HE is letting me know that this is NOT part of HIS plan for my life.  HE is letting me know that rather than choosing to lie awake at night and ponder Satan's lies, I must choose to worship HIM and trust that HE has everything worked out for my own good.

In choosing to worship HIM despite how I feel, I am saying, "Lord Jesus this is NOT about me, and is all about you."  HE is telling me that I must get my focus off of myself and back onto HIM.  I know that until I do I will continue to struggle through my daily walk.

It has been through my journey that I have learned that HIS Daily Teachings has become a vital part of my journey towards wholeness.  Therefore, I must seek HIM, and ask HIM to teach, lead, and guide me through every single moment of my day.

"GOD can use empty places in your life to draw your heart to HIM."  Today HE has let me know that HE knows I feel empty, and HE is wanting me to run straight into HIS arms, and let go.... and let HIM take over in navigating my life.  I must realize that this is just my "temporary home," and not get so wrapped up in my incessant "need" to be comfortable.

HE has let me know that it is in the times that I feel empty when I seek HIM HE can, will, and does reveal HIMSELF to me that HE is the one who knows and loves me best.  HE is letting me know that HE will never let me down, and will continue HIS good works in me.

HE is wanting me to view my life as my "temporary home."  Therefore, I must get the focus off of myself, and onto HIM.  HE is teaching me that all of this is not for nothing, but is however, all for HIS plan, and HIS purpose for my life.  HE is wanting me to know that even though I may not understand the "why's" of HIS plan, I must choose to trust HIM as HE has proven HIMSELF time and again to me through my journey.  

"Realizing that this life is temporary helps me to live beyond this moment, and rejoice it as a call to draw near to the Lord."

Today I will sing songs of praise and worship HIM, and I will meditate on HIS truth, and I will seek HIM throughout every single moment of my day.  I will smile as HIS loving reminders are everywhere in my life.  Today when I feel alone, I will sing one of the many songs that bring me great comfort such as "Draw Me Close to You."  I am thankful that GOD has exposed me to these songs, as they are also a vital part of my journey towards wholeness.

"Draw me close to You. Never let me go. I lay it all down again. To hear You say that I'm Your friend. You are my desire. And no one else will do. 'Cause nothing else can take Your place. To feel the warmth of Your embrace.  Help me find a way.  Bring me back to You. Bring me back, oh Jesus"

Today I am thankful for the empty places in me, as they are HIS loving reminder that I need HIM daily, and that HE is the only one who can truly fulfill my needs.  

"In my worship of HIM, my soul is safe and comforted and reassured, and at peace."

I pray today that you will know that the life you are living is really just your "temporary home."  I pray today that you will seek HIM, and HE will show you where your true home really is.  I pray for HIS presence, and peace to be upon you as you go through your journey towards wholeness.  I pray today that you too will be comforted by HIS truth, and HIS love about what HIS plan and purpose are for your life.  I pray today that even though you may feel discontented about the circumstances of your life that you will know that it is all temporary.

Blessings,
Heather 

grace...

If I have learned anything in the past 10 years of my walk with CHRIST its this: no matter how tough my journey becomes, the one thing I know I can always count on is HIS grace.  It has been by HIS grace that I am still here.  It has been by HIS grace that I was able to celebrate 15 years of marriage to D yesterday.  It has been by HIS grace that I am forgiven, and able to be a Mama to 5 of HIS amazing blessings.  As I have stated in my previous blogs, HE works in theme's of my life, and today I am so thankful that the most reoccurring theme in my life has been HIS grace.

HIS Daily Teachings today is to remind me that HE is the only one I should be living for.  HE is wanting me to remember that it is by HIS grace alone, that I am able to handle my successes and failures in my life.  HE is wanting me to know that it has been by HIS grace only, that I am humble enough to receive praise with out is going to be head.  HE is telling me that is has been by HIS grace only, that I am able to receive criticism without it going to my heart, and changing me from being the person HE calls me to be.  

Lysa Terkeurst writes:  "Sometimes our efforts will be fruitful and other times fruitless.  But as long as we  please GOD it's all for HIS good."

GOD is wanting me to know today that I am not always going to get it right, but rather when I do mess up, I must seek HIM as HIS grace is all sufficient in helping me recover from my mistakes.  HE is wanting me to know that as long as I am seeking HIM daily, and asking HIM to teach, lead, and guide me through every moment, the times that I do make mistakes won't seem so bad, and I will be able to repent, surrender, and move on.  I am learning that when I surrender, it is much easier to "hear" HIS "whispers" and stay on track with HIS plans for my life.

Today's bible study talks about how HIS grace has two foe's.  One of which I was very surprised as being so.  

Acceptance ~ requires much of me, and is very tempting and enticing in its offerings, compliments, and promises.  In other word's if it seem's too good to be true, then in most likely is.

HE is wanting me to know that acceptance is a trap that leads me to false "needs" to impress others.  In my quest to impress I become easily overwhelmed, and when I fall short, or at least when I "think" I fall short of what people are expecting of me, I fall into a deep dark pit of despair.

Rejection ~ requires much of me as well, and allows me to become lazy in my walk.   Rejection is what keeps me from living out the calling that HE has for my life.  Rejection has played a key role in my journey by allowing and encouraging me to shy away from the obedience that my soul craves.  Rejection is from Satan who play's mind games with me.  Those mind games were revealed to me this morning as word's that question what GOD is asking me to do.  Often times I fall into the trap of  "if I do this then what will people think of me?"  

One of the greatest examples of this in my life is this blog.  Writing this blog almost didn't happen as I was afraid of what people would think when they got to know the real me.  When GOD first started asking me to be transparent I was terrified.  At first  I was defiant and said, "No way, that is not happening!"  I knew HE was asking me to share "the good, bad, and the ugly" of my journey, and I was so nervous about what people would think.  However, as you know when GOD calls me to do something, until I surrender and do it, my life has no balance, and I have no peace, and no sleep.  Therefore, I have learned that when HE calls on me to do something, it's much easier to do it the first time HE asks.

HIS loving reminder today for me is this: I must deny the cravings of my flesh, and seek HIS grace.  HIS grace is what will humble me and allow me to handle rejection and also the acceptance that my flesh craves.  HE is wanting me to know that when I keep craving acceptance in the flesh, then I keep pride in my heart.  Therefore, I must seek HIS acceptance and be filled by HIS grace, and not fall into the trap of the two foe's of grace.  

He is letting me know that I must choose to not worry about what other's will think, rather I must pick my cross daily and follow HIM.  I must surrender.

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." Philippians 4:6

HE is wanting me to know that whenever I am worried about acceptance or rejection in my life, all I need to do is call out to HIM in prayer, and HE will be there for me to fill me with HIS love, and grace.  HE is wanting me to meditate on HIS words that HIS grace is all sufficient for me, and all I need is HIM.

This morning HE had me read about HIS apostle Paul in how HIS grace was all sufficient for Paul, and how Paul's weakness was made perfect in HIS strength.  HE has shown me once again through someone else's journey that what I am currently living through, or have lived through, it's all right there written in HIS word.  Today I am comforted to know that I am not alone in my struggles.

"Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me.  Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me.  But he said to me,“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.  That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Corinthians 12:7-10

HIS truth was revealed to me this morning in saying,  JESUS is standing and waiting with HIS arms wide open for me to run and fall into.  HE is waiting for me to run into HIS warm, and loving embrace.  HE is waiting to capture my heart, and wipe away my tears, and calm my fears.  HE is wanting to fulfill my "need" to feel secure by speaking HIS truth straight to my heart.

HE has revealed HIS truth to me through my current read in saying, "HIS truth is that I am precious and accepted, no matter what."

Just to read those words this morning is exactly what I needed.  I haven't had a very good week as far as keeping my thoughts in check.  In fact, I haven't really surrendered very well this week, and have allowed thoughts to enter my mind that were far less from GOD honoring.  This morning, I was feeling guilty, and repenting, and seeking HIS forgiveness and guidance to get things back on track.  How wonderful it feels to know that HE knows me so well, and knew that I needed to be reminded of HIS all sufficient grace.

HE is wanting me to mediate on these final words for today, "Love is not based on my performance." "HIS love is based on HIS perfect surrender at the cross."  

Today I must choose to deny myself and my fleshly desires.  I must choose to be filled by HIS love, and HIS grace so that I am able to walk in HIS truth in the storms of my journey.  Today I must remember when all else fails, HIS love in unfailing, HIS grace in unending. 

I pray today that you will know that HIS grace is all sufficient for you.  I pray that you will seek HIM in your journey to calm your fleshly desires when it comes to being accepted and rejected.  I pray today that you will have the courage to surrender and pick up your cross and follow HIM.  I pray today that HIS favor and blessings will be poured over your life because of your obedience.

Blessings,
Heather 

"naysayers"

Just the other night my best friend posed a question on Facebook about how certain people come into our lives with NOT good intentions, but rather to wreak havoc and shake things up in our lives.  Her particular question was centered around marriage.  I felt GOD wanting me to post a response to her question in a way that was GOD honoring, not only to HIM but to my own marriage.  As I began typing I felt HIS words come out in this way, "When there is a friendship of the opposite sex in your marriage, then your spouse must be made aware of it."  As I typed out those words, I felt strong, and confident that this was the message that GOD wanted me to share, HIS truth that HE wanted me to speak.  However, I was quickly met by criticism, even saying that they felt "sorry" for my husband because I didn't trust HIM enough.

Now if you know me, I don't do criticism very well, however HE is working on me, or I should say HE has been working on me.  Even yesterday I was still stewing at how this person who didn't even know me could judge me so harshly.  So naturally this morning it is only fitting that HIS Daily Teachings would be about "naysayers" in my life.

HE is wanting me to understand that in choosing to live my life with "radical obedience" I will encounter "naysayers."  HE is wanting me to know that because how I am choosing to obey HIM and pick up my cross daily and follow HIM, then that convicts the "naysayers" in my life in some way.   This morning HE is wanting me to know that rather than the "naysayers" allowing GOD to transform them, they tear down what HE is trying to teach them through me.  

I know that I am called to speak HIS truth, and live in a way that is good, pleasing, and honoring to HIM in everything that I do.  This is not to say that I don't fall into the trap of being a "naysayer" myself.  HE is reminding me this morning that I too fall into the trap, and letting me know that just because I don't like something, doesn't mean it needs to be changed.  Therefore I must seek HIM and discern what HE says is right.

Today I am finding HIS truth comforting that even in the bible it has been written about "naysayers."

But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money,boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents,ungrateful, unholy,  without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good,  treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God—  having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with such people." 2 Timothy 3: 1-5

Lysa Terkeurst writes: "Becoming a woman who unashamedly says yes to GOD is going to cause you to be different from many of your family member's and friends."

GOD is wanting me to understand that by saying "No" to myself and "YES" to HIM my vision will be one that is NOT of this world.

" Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will." Romans 12:2

I must meditate on HIS words whenever I come up against "naysayers" in my daily walk.  HE is letting me know that the more I seek HIM and surrender myself to HIM and ask HIM to teach, lead, and guide me, the more my expectations will mirror what HIS expectations are for my life.

HE is wanting me to to know that just because I am a busy Mama of 5 children, who stays home and runs our household, whose life is busy with many different responsibilities, whose body is run ragged most days, who is frantic in trying to complete each task that is at hand, does NOT mean that I need to be in a rush with GOD.  Rather when it comes to my relationship with HIM, I must slow down, so that I am able to heed HIS "whispers" and answer HIS calls for my life.  I must live my life with "radical obedience."

Even this morning I was still holding onto the words that were written to me the other night, and as I read my bible study I couldn't help but to smile as HIS Daily Teachings was about "naysayers" in my life, and how I am to navigate around them.  I am comforted by HIS teaching this morning that I am NOT to worry about anything, but rather trust HIM that HE has ALL things worked out for my own good.

HE is wanting me to know that instead of freaking out and worrying, I can be comforted by HIS "blessed assurance" that HE know's what is best for me.  He is wanting me to be lead by HIS truth, and not by the fear that is being instilled by Satan through other people in my life.  Therefore, I must remember that my strength and power to endure the storms of my life can only come from HIM.  I must choose to rely on HIM for everything.

HE has revealed to me today that people who are "naysayers" in my life.  HE is wanting me to know that because I choose to live my life differently than the "naysayers" in my life, they will feel compelled to come against me, because they feel threatened in their own convictions of how CHRIST is working through me. HE is letting me know that it is through their own insecurities and convictions in their own personal lives that they go on the attack with me.  HE is wanting me to understand this, as HE doesn't want me to take this attacks too personally.

"Never let other's compliments go to your head or their criticism go to your heart."

In speaking HIS truth the other night, I was attacked by a woman who spoke horrible words to me and who defiled the sanctity of marriage according to HIS word.  This I know know and understand was a test to see what condition my heart was.  It was a test to see whether or not I would lash out, and speak horrible things right back to her, or speak in love, and HIS truth.  I will admit that though I spoke HIS truth, I harbored ungodly thoughts in my heart.  So much in fact that I wasn't able to hear HIS Daily Teachings yesterday for my life.  I am learning that when I harbor horrible thoughts and feelings towards "naysayers" in my life, I miss out HIS blessings for my life.  Therefore, I must choose to let go, and let GOD sort out the mess of other people's thoughts.  

Lysa Terkeurst writes: "It's not easy to keep their negativity from being discouraging."  She goes onto to say, when feeling attacked by a naysayer you must "consider the source."  In her book  "What Happens When Women Say YES To GOD"  gives some questions that I must ask myself when feeling attacked by a "naysayer."

~ is said person actively seeking a relationship with the LORD?

~ is said person answering GOD'S call on their life?

~ does said person have my best interest at heart?

HE is letting me know that if the answer to any of these are no, then I must seek HIM and hear HIS truth in what has been said to me.  I must forgive them for any hurt they may have caused.  I must remember to let go..... and let GOD.

GOD is wanting me to remember that even though I am actively pursuing HIM daily, I too fall into the trap of be a "naysayer."  I, Heather also fall into the trap of not being GOD honoring in my attitude and actions.  Therefore, I must choose to be lead by HIS HOLY SPIRIT and not of the flesh.  I must seek HIM to give me HIS eyes so that my view and perception of things will align to HIS view and perception.

Pastor Rick Warren writes the following description of "naysayers" in his book "The Purpose Driven Life."  "You will find that people who do not understand your shape for ministry will criticize you and try to get you to conform to what they think you should be doing.  Ignore them.  Paul often had to deal with critics who misunderstood and maligned his service.  His response was always the same"  Avoid comparisons, resist exaggerations, and seek only GOD's commendation." 

At the end of my bible study today, GOD so lovingly reminded me of why the story of Saul turned Paul is my favorite in the bible.  I love it because Saul was one of the worst people who did horrible unspeakable things, who sought out people who loved GOD and killed them.  However, when he repented, and accepted GOD into his hardened heart, his heart was softened, and his eyes were opened.  He went onto be an amazing messenger for GOD in speaking HIS truth to everyone he came in contact with.  GOD used him to do HIS good works.  HE equipped HIM with the courage to boldly speak HIS truth, HIS love, HIS grace, and HIS mercy.  Today HE is letting me know that I, Heather a sinner just like Paul must do the same.

I pray today today that you will seek HIM and HIS truth for your life.  I pray today for discernment for you to know the "naysayers" in your life.  I pray today that you won't let their words change your heart, but rather seek HIM to give you the strength to let go.... and let HIM take over for you.  I pray today that you will seek HIM in your troubles and worries, and be filled with confidence that HE truly does work all things out for your own good.

Blessings,
Heather