"valley"

Once again, I am in a season of waiting.  Waiting rather impatiently, waiting in despair.  Living in the "valley" of despair.  Every day is a struggle as where HE has placed me to live, is my home, however I am not truly living.  In my "valley" of despair I have fallen short of HIS glory more times that I would ever want to admit.

Last night was no exception.  Even though I prayed for HIS words to be my words, and for HIM to lead me, and show me how to be the woman of faith HE has called me to be, I have once again fallen flat on my face.  I my need to be right, and heard, I hurt someone whom I love very much.  

My day started out just like most days in my life.  I began by getting into HIS word, and I read about being "too busy" and not letting my mind wander.  Clearly I didn't take HIS Daily Teaching very seriously yesterday, as I didn't even finish it.  I went about my day doing what I wanted, with no regard for what HE was wanting me to do.  I managed to make it through to the afternoon with my boys, without losing my temper.  

About an hour before my daughters were due home from school I began to praise GOD and thank HIM for giving me the right frame of mind, and getting my heart right before my daughters got home.  However, within one hour of my oldest being home, I lost it.  I said things, that I cannot take back.  I let my anger and frustration of this current "valley" I am living in, come out in the form of anger, hatred, and rage.  

I left my sweet daughter in its dust, and as she sat there shocked that her Mama said these things to her, she quietly sat there with tears falling down her face.  Very quickly the magnitude of how far I let things go hit me..... I messed up BIG time, and I couldn't take it back.  Once again, I could feel myself sinking deeper into the "valley" of despair.

This morning HE is showing me that once again  I have allowed myself to become consumed with despair and hopelessness.  Sadly those two life-altering things have spilled over into the lives of my children.  HE is reminding me that I am the thermostat, I do set the tone as to how to deal with circumstances in our lives.  I must choose to NOT allow myself to become discouraged, and distracted in the "valley" that I am currently in.  

HIS Daily Teachings today is to remind me that my being in a "valley" is all for HIS plans and HIS purpose for my life.  I must understand that even if I don't "see" HIM working in my life, I must seek HIM and be filled with HIS Blessed Assurance that HE is in fact working behind the scenes in my life.

HE is wanting me to know that the "valley" I am in is a "waiting place" that HE will keep me in until HIS plans and HIS timing are perfect.  I must really truly trust HIM, and BELIEVE HIM.  I must NOT just talk the talk,  I must walk the walk.  I must NOT just talk about my faith, I must live out my faith.

HE is telling me that I must say what I mean, and mean what I say.  HE is telling me that I am in this "valley" this "waiting place" too see if I really am being genuine in my faith.  HE is wanting me to know that it is because I have been seeking HIM and asking HIM to teach, lead, and guide me every single moment of my life, that HE is doing just that!  Therefore, I cannot be upset that I am currently in a "valley" that is my "waiting place," while HE is working behind the scenes in my life.  I must trust HIM, and BELIEVE HIM!

It never fails that HE gives me opportunities to pray for other people who have been wronged by someone they love.  I pray genuinely for the hurting hearts, and praise HIM that I don't have those struggles in my life.  I quickly take on a false sense of security that I am "safe" from that type of harm.  How quickly Satan sees that as a challenge, and almost every time I fall for it.   The very thing I pray for someone else, creeps into my life, and wreaks havoc over my relationships with the people whom I love and care for the most.

This morning as my head is hanging low, HE is meeting me right where I stand.  HE is once again reminding me that HE is the lamp unto my feet.  HE is the one who guides the path of my life.  HE is the light in my very dark world.  His reminders made me confess to HIM this morning, " feelings of despair overwhelm my heart these days.  It is all so much more than I can bear."

Through my tears this morning, I am asking HIM these very questions:

"Why are you allowing this?"  ~ HE is telling me that I am in this current "valley" to grow my faith and trust in HIM.  It is all part of HIS plans and HIS purpose for my life.  HE is wanting me to know that though I may not feel HIM, or see HIM working in my life, HE is there, working behind the scenes, and fighting gallantly for me.

"What is the purpose in this?"  ~ HE is teaching me that it is for HIS purpose, everything that happens in my life is for HIS purpose.  HE is telling me once again, that in choosing to trust HIM, I must let go..... and let HIM take over.  I must let go of my incessant "need" to control the things in my life.

"Are you there?" ~ HE is wanting me to know that HE most certainly is there.  I must be patient, and hold tight to my faith in HIM, and trust HIM that HE has everything worked out for my own good.

"Do you care?" ~ HE is saying to me, "I care, I hear your cries for help.  I catch every single one of your tears."  "I know the cries of your heart."  I care, I love you so very much, trust in ME, rest in ME."  "Wait for ME."

This morning I heard HIS "whisper," "Heather, where is your faith?" "Do you not trust that I will calm your storm?"

"One day Jesus said to his disciples, “Let us go over to the other side of the lake.” So they got into a boat and set out. As they sailed, he fell asleep. A squall came down on the lake, so that the boat was being swamped, and they were in great danger. The disciples went and woke him, saying, “Master, Master,we’re going to drown!” He got up and rebuked the wind and the raging waters; the storm subsided, and all was calm. “Where is your faith?” he asked his disciples. In fear and amazement they asked one another, “Who is this? He commands even the winds and the water, and they obey him.” Luke 8:20-25

HE is telling me that is is during my season of waiting in the valley that HE has place me in that I must not grow weary in my faith.  HE is wanting me to know that though I may not see HIM, I must trust that HE is there, and HE can, will, and does calm my storms.

"My eyes fail, looking for your promise;I say, “When will you comfort me?” Psalm 119:82

"I am worn out calling for help;my throat is parched. My eyes fail,looking for my God." 
Psalm 69:3

"He stilled the storm to a whisper; the waves of the sea were hushed." Psalm 107:29

"The hardest part of faith is the last half hour" 
"Waiting on GOD test us like nothing else does"
"The problem is we give up, just before GOD shows up"
"In the darkness, we tend to give up, just before the light breaks through" 
~  Waiting on GOD by Cherie Hill

This morning HE is telling me that HE is the light in my darkness!  I must not give up!  

"Your word is a lamp for my feet,a light on my path." Psalm 119:105

"We love GOD's grace, but we don't like HIS watch" Cherie Hill

Once again HE is telling me that HIS timing and HIS provision are perfect!  HE is wanting me to know that HE is the one who will guide my steps and direct my life.  HE is the one who has brought me into the "valley" that I am currently in where I have been crying out for HIS mercy.  HE is wanting me to know that HE has allowed the circumstances  that have brought me into the "valley" I am currently in.  HE is letting me know that I am in this "valley" so that HE can bring me to my knees, so that I, Heather, control freak, will let go.... and let HIM lead me.  HE is reminding me once again that this all for my own good, and is for HIS plans, and HIS purpose for my life.

This morning I am hearing HIM say to me "Heather I have brought you to this valley, so that you will be still............

HE is telling me that I must trust HIM completely.  I must strike from my thoughts, and words the negativity I feel about the current valley I am in.  I must choose to trust HIM and be filled up with HIS Blessed Assurance.

HE is teaching me that it is when I am weary, that Satan, the enemy will pounce on me.  HE is wanting me to know that it is when I am down that the enemy will strike and will begin to taunt me by saying, "where is GOD?  HE isn't going to show up..... you must do something!  GOD's too busy to care that you are in a valley."

This morning HE is answering my cries from the valley of despair I am in.  "Wait on me..... I will save you! I will deliver you!  I hold your precious life in my hands, I love you.  Do NOT believe the lies that are surrounding you in the valley.  Your "waiting place" is NOT a "wasted space!"  Hold tight to your faith!  Trust me completely and I will bring you, Heather, my Daughter, out of the valley."

"Trust in ME, rest in ME"

"Since ancient times no one has heard,no ear has perceived,no eye has seen any God besides you,who acts on behalf of those who wait for him." Isaiah 64:4

Dear friends, I pray that if you are currently in a "valley" of despair, you will know that HE does indeed care for you.  I pray that you will wait for HIM, and trust HIM that HE has it all worked out for your good.  I pray that you will know that HE catches everyone of your tears.  I pray that when you seek HIM, HE will reveal HIMSELF to you, and you will be filled by HIS over abundance of grace, and peace.  I pray that you will be comforted, by HIS words, and HIS truth that you are indeed HIS!

Blessings,
Heather