Believe!

"I don't believe in GOD, and neither does my mom, because HE NEVER does anything good for us"  Those words are the words that pierced my heart last night during a slumber party for my soon to be nine year olds slumber party.  As I began to pray and ask GOD to come into this little girls life, I was A-M-A-Z-E-D by what I heard next, and that was one by one the other little girls began to witness to this one little girl.  As each little girl spoke about what they believe in GOD, and spoke of their love for HIM, my heart began to soar.  Right there in my living room I was able to witness these little girls witness to a wounded heart.

The season of wonder and magic is here, YES, it's CHRIST-MAS time!  This happens to be my most favorite time of year, and I love doing special things with my children to make it more and more memorable as each year passes.  This year however, Satan has really been at my heels, trying to keep me from all of HIS wonder and magic, or HIS favor and blessings to be poured over my life.

Two weeks ago my husband D and I bought the fun little game at CHRIST-MAS time called the Elf on the Shelf.  My three daughters never really "believed" in Santa Clause, however that is not the case with my son. Oh, he believes, and he will tell you how much he believes.  He is hands down the most enthusiastic of our five children.  He brings so much joy and laughter to our hearts, and I am constantly in awe at how much his little heart believes in his SAVIOR.

This past Thanksgiving my four year old son was the one to say the blessing before we ate.  I could see the look on our family members faces, as they couldn't believe that he would be able to pray in that way.  I knew however, the very people who do and share life with him every single day knew.  Even in his four year old little heart, he is able to believe!

HIS Daily Teachings today is HIS loving reminder that I must choose to believe!  Once again I have allowed myself to be pulled away from my faith in HIM, and I have strayed in my thoughts, which at times have become my actions.  Today as I was journaling and asking HIM to help me overcome my disbelief, HE reminded me that HE is my ROCK!  HE is my SALVATION!  HE is with me!  With HIM, I won't be afraid!  Therefore, I must choose to believe that HE is who HE says HE is, and HE will do what HE says HE will do!

Just to clarify, I started writing this particular blog this past Sunday, and truthfully it has been 3 days since I last journaled, and did my bible study.  HE has been teaching me that I couldn't finish my blog titled Believe!, because I needed to overcome my disbelief.  

For the past three days I have been waiting for HIM to reveal to me what it is that I need to believe, and it wasn't until late last night as I laid my head on my pillow, closed my eyes, that my prayers flooded me with emotion, and I poured my heart and soul out to HIM, and asked HIM to please bless us with a church for us to call home, just as HE did the night HE lead us straight to ELEVATE church.

HE has let me know, that when I seek HIM, HE does answer my calls, and HE is there for me!  HE is wanting me to know that just as HE answered my call for a church to call home then, HE can, and will answer my call now.  I am finding myself struggling with the fact that a church that we once called home, feels like a total distant memory, and what once filled us with what we were "needing" is now no longer the case.

Since Sunday, I have cried my heart out, and begged GOD to help our family.  That just as our sadness has grown with no church to call home, our relationships as a family have begun to unravel, and fall apart.  My heart has been torn as I have watched my children become angrier as each day passes.  I have fallen apart myself, when I have realized just how much I have given into my anger that has found residence within me once again.

My wonderful soul-sister "M" called me on Tuesday and reminded me of a Psalm that I have read, and even blogged about.  She reminded me that no matter what I make "think" of myself, GOD thinks so much better of me.  Through her, HE is reminding me that I am wonderfully made, that I am magnificent.  HE is wanting me to know that it pains HIM to see me cry, and to know that I am in longing, only because I have NOT asked.  I am learning that if I truly desire something, I must 1st seek HIM, and it will be given to me, as HE makes all things work together for my good.

HE is telling me that the current struggle, and test that I am in, is only to grow my faith in HIM even more.  He is wanting me to know that when I finally overcome my disbelief in HIM, and choose to really believe in HIM, HE will pour HIS blessings and favor over me.

HE is telling me that I am NOT in control.  HE is wanting me to remember that it is HIS plan, and HIS purpose for my life that I need to be seeking.  Therefore, I must seek HIM, and allow HIM to align my thoughts to HIS.   HE is teaching me that I must not let my thoughts go to the dark side, I must see myself as HE sees me. 

Since Sunday, HE has been reminding me that this is why HE has given me the perfect gift under the tree, and that is my SAVIOR, JESUS CHRIST.  HE has let me know that because HE loves me so much, HE gave HIS only SON, so that I may be able to live an eternal life with HIM in HEAVEN.

Once again, I am feeling overwhelmed by my father's love, and I sorry that it has taken me this long to really truly understand, what HIS Daily Teachings has been about throughout this particular blog.  I am thankful that HE has kept calling me, breathing HIS "whispers" to me that I must truly believe in HIM, not only in HIM, but to believe that HE is who HE says HE is, and HE will do what HE says HE will do!

Once again, I am finding myself eating a HUGE slice of humble pie, in realizing that HE truly does do things for my own good.  HE works out EVERYTHING for my good.  HE is telling me that it is HIS good, for HE is good!

" And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28

One of the things that saddens me these days is how drastically life has changed for me in the past year.  I went from having my fifth baby, and being involved in a loving church family.  Leading a small group of fantastic people with D every Sunday.  Every Sunday morning getting up and serving GOD with some of my favorite people.  Being filled with HIS word, and encouragement from a core group of CHRIST following GODLY women, to where I am now.  No core group of women, not serving, no church to call home, no small group, isolated, lonely..........growing daily in despair.......... all because of my........ disbelief in HIM.

Once again HE is reminding me that in choosing to believe in HIM will help me to be flexible when HIS plans for my life change.  HE is telling me that just because things didn't work out the way I "thought" they would, doesn't mean that they aren't going to work out for my own good.  HE is showing me that through this change that we have gone through, I have become a very negative person, and I have been speaking in a very negative way.  This is I know is HIS loving reminder that it is past time that I ditch my "stinkin thinkin."

" Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight." Romans 12:16

As I was reading HIS words this morning I heard HIM say to me "why do you think you are in control?"  "Haven't I proven to you time and again that MY plans are what is best for your life?"  "Why won't you relinquish control"  "Why won't you let go...... and let me take care of you."  "Believe in ME and wait and see if I do not open the floodgates of MY favor and blessings and pour them over your life." "You, Heather, must believe in me!"  "You, Heather, must believe ME!"

HE is wanting me to decide that I can, and will go with the flow of things.  He is wanting me to enjoy HIS day, this very day, that HE HIMSELF, has blessed me with!  HE is telling me that just as I have been set free, free to love, free to give, I am free to believe!

Throughout the current storm in my life, HIS teaching has remained constant, and that is, I must choose to believe that even bad things can be turned around for HIS good!  HE is letting me know that the condemnation that I have been harboring in my heart, is NOT HIS good, and perfect will for my life.  HE is wanting me to know that by accepting that condemnation, I have allowed myself to stay trapped in Satan's evil plans to destroy me.

Now that HE has revealed this to me, I know that I must believe HIM, and trust HIM that HE can, will, and does restore me!  Once again, HE has reminded me that if I truly desire to be free, then I must do what HE asks of me, no matter how it may make me feel.  

Joyce Meyer writes: "The pathway to freedom begins when we face the problem without making excuses for it."

Today I will choose to believe in HIM, and be filled by HIS HOLY SPIRIT, and believe that HE can, will, and does help me.  I will rejoice as it is a new day that HE has blessed me with!  I will believe!

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come." 2 Corinthians 5:17

" Nevertheless, I tell you the truth: it is to your advantage that I go away, for if I do not go away, the Helper will not come to you. But if I go, I will send him to you.  And when he comes, he will convict the world concerning sin and righteousness and judgement:" John 16:7-8

I pray today that you will know that the GOD who loves you, is waiting for you to believe in HIM.  I pray that you will seek HIM, and ask HIM to teach, lead, and guide you throughout your day today.  I pray that HIS favor and blessings will be poured over your life when you choose to believe.  I pray that you will know that HE is there, through all the storms in  your life, and that HE is your deliverer, and HE is waiting to rescue you, all you have to do is believe!

Blessings,
Heather