forever changed

"And it was down with the old man, Up with the new. Raised to walk in the way of light and truth. I didn't see no angels, just a few saints on the shore. But, I felt like a newborn baby, Cradled up in the arms of the Lord" Randy Travis, "Baptism"

This morning I woke up feeling so incredibly full of despair.  I quickly made my way down to my office, and pulled out my journal.  As I began to write, my heart spilled out for HIM to see, and hear, and it was in that moment, where I let it all out, and told HIM how I didn't know how to live, even after all of HIS teachings, I still needed to know how am I supposed to do this?  How am I supposed to keep going with the same tenacity, and strength with each day passes that it becomes clearer to me,HIS/my heart breaking truth that my time here on Earth with my precious son is over.  How do I live for each of my children when my heart is broken.  How do any of us live, each moment passing, and making memories as we celebrate specials days without one of us.  My thoughts always go back to we were seven, and no one will know that unless you knew us before...... before our whole world was forever changed... 

Thankfully because HE loves me so much, HE met me right where I am, and began to pour HIS truth into me, and I before I knew it I was sinking deep in HIS waves of grace, and HIS amazing love that HE couldn't wait for me to feel and experience this morning.

HIS Daily Teachings today is letting me know that the reason I am feeling so full of despair is because I have yet to embrace HIS truth that I, Heather, Mama of five of HIS precious blessings, am only raising four of them now.  I have yet to embrace HIS truth that HE called HIS son home.  I have yet to embrace HIS truth that HIS calling for my life is NOT was, absolutely NOT a part of my plan.  Yet, when I think back to earlier days of full of prayers to HIM, I remember that I prayed for total transformation, and strengthening of my FAITH.

" Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will." Romans 12:2

HE is letting me know that HE has always intended for my life to be exactly the way it is, as it has been written on purpose, for HIS purpose, to mold me, and shape me.  To create a heart just like HIS for people, and for me to embrace HIS truth that when I opened my heart up to HIM, and was baptized, that was me embracing HIS truth, that I, Heather, who once was lost, was saved by HIS amazing grace, and because of that I am forever changed.

" You were all called to travel on the same road and in the same direction, so stay together, both outwardly and inwardly.  You have one Master, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all, who rules over all, works through all, and is present in all.  Everything you are and think and do is permeated with Oneness." Ephesians 4:5 The Message

"You make known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand." Psalm 16:11

HE is reminding me that with HIM teaching, leading, and guiding me I, Heather am an overcomer.  This means that each time that I soak,and drench myself in HIS word, each time I breathe HIM in, that is when I will, and am through HIS amazing grace overcoming the evil that is lurking in my life, waiting...... to seize, kill, and destroy.  Thankfully, HE loves me far too much to ever let me do this life alone, and that is why HE is so lovingly reminding me that my hearts desire has always been to be forever changed.  

Once again HE is asking me to trust HIM, trust HIM to know and be filled with HIS true confidence, that I, Heather, am HIS daughter.  HE is wanting me to always remember that I need NOT to ever feel full of despair, but rather full of HIS HOPE, that HE continues to teach me that through my FAITH in HIM, HE is increasing my FAITH, and that is all apart of my being forever changed by HIM.  I know this because HE pursues me every single moment, and fills me with HIS relentless, unfailing, unending, unconditional love.

"being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." Philippians 1:6

" We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure"

 Hebrews 6:19

HE is reminding me that I, Heather, need to understand that through my FAITH in HIM, is so that I will know that I am to be like a tree that is planted firmly in HIS living water that, can, will, and does flow in me, and through me, and that means that with each change of the current of my life's events, HE is there, and HE is holding me, guiding me, and lets me know that I need NOT to fear, as HE has always intended for me to be forever changed.

"That person is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither—  whatever they do prospers." Psalm 1:3

 

HE is letting me know that in knowing HIS truth that I, Heather, am forever changed , that is when I will bear the best fruit when I choose to live out my FAITH in HIM, and because of that I will remain firmly planted and rooted in HIS love, and HIS truth, HIS plans, and HIS purpose that was written beautifully for just me.

"If you only knew what lies awaiting ~ If you could only see what I can see ~ If you could only hear the music playing ~ The angels singing sweet victory ~ Oh, if you only knew, if you only knew ~ How much He loves you" Randy Travis "If you only knew"

As I sit here typing, I am listening to this song, and can't help but to think of my Gram, and my son being together, and singing this song to me.  "If you only knew Heather, Mama, how much HE loves you, and doesn't do any of this to hurt you, but to ensure that you are forever changed to be WHO HE has always intended for you to be.  That HE has gone ahead and fought for you, and if you only knew how well things are going to turn out for you.  Just wait, Heather, Mama, hold fast, HIS HELP is on the way, and HE will carry you and see you through it all.  HE loves you Heather, Mama, we are here, we are waiting for you, and when you are called home in HIS timing, the angels will be singing sweet victory."

Today I am so incredibly overwhelmed by HIS love for me, and just how far HE will go to reach me, and let me know that through this storm, and every storm I will go through HE is there, and HE is my refuge, HE is my fortress, HE is my Rock, HE is my Redeemer, HE is my Deliverer, HE is my shelter from the storms.  HE is telling me that HIS plan for ALL of this has been that I would lean in, and press into HIM, and embrace HIS truth that HIS plan is for me to be forever changed.

"I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress,    my God, in whom I trust.” 

Psalm 91:2

"The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer;my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold." Psalm 18:2

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, ”declares the Lord." Isaiah 55:8

" For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

This morning HE is leading me straight to HIS word, and letting me know that the very definition of being forever changed can be found in HIS word, and it is there as HIS precious gift to me to study, soak, drench myself into.  HIS word is for me to meditate on so that I will know it, trust it, and all for HIS purpose for my purpose that I would be full of HIS true confidence to speak HIS word, to the masses, to reach the last, the least, and the lost, so that they too will receive the invitation of being forever changed. 

"I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." Galatians 2:20

My Dear Brothers and Sisters in CHRIST JESUS ~ HE has made it known to me, that I am to pray diligently for each and every life that reads HIS Daily Teachings, to ensure that I am writing exactly what HE tells me to.  So that you will know HIS truth, and seek out HIS truth for your life.   I pray today that you will be able to let go of feeling hurt, or let down by GOD.  Dare I say let go of feeling betrayed by HIM, and allow HIM to reveal HIS truth to you, as HE shuts down, shuts out, and shuts up the lies of the enemy that has you trapped.  I pray for your freedom and your release as HE breaks every single chain that has kept you from living in HIS true freedom, through HIS true confidence that HE is LORD, and HE is good, and HE is fighting for you always.  I pray today that you will seek HIM, and know that HE is holding you, and catching every single tear you cry, and that HE hears every single prayer that you pray.  That in HIS timing HE answers every single one of your prayers.  It is my prayer today, that you will know that HE is there, HE is waiting, waiting for you to say, "I'm ready LORD JESUS,  I'm ready to be forever changed."

Much love, prayers, compassion, understanding, and grace,

Your Sister in CHRIST JESUS,

~ Heather