"qualified"

As I began reading today's bible study, I realized HE was showing me what HIS disciples must have looked like to the ordinary every day, you and me type of people.  The more I read, and thought about why HE chose those men as HIS disciples, the more it began to make sense to me, how HE could choose someone like me.  

As always, I "thought" I knew what I was supposed to write about today, so when I "tried" to log onto the blog and type it out, I was blocked.  Frustrated, I gave up and thought, "well maybe I'm not supposed to write anything today."  However, HE had much bigger plans in store for me, and had me take my journal to church with me this morning.

Our family has only been to three services so far at our new church, but each one has been remarkable in my walk with HIM.  Today was no exception.  It shouldn't be of any surprise to me that HIS Daily Teachings today is about being "qualified," and today's message at church was about "refocusing, and doing our part in building HIS church."  

The more Pastor Dave Mudd spoke the more HIS Daily Teachings was coming to life for me.  The more our Pastor spoke about refocusing ourselves so that HE is our vision, in helping do our parts in building HIS church, the more I understood just how I am "qualified."

I still pinch myself at times as it's hard to grasp that I am the writer of "HIS Daily Teachings."  I find myself in complete awe every single day that I see the stats climb.  If you were to be sitting in the room with me when I see that another country is now reading the blog, then you would be able to witness my "PRAISE JESUS DANCE!" Thankfully no one has witnessed that yet, but I know it's only a matter of time.  

Today HE is wanting me to know that I have been chosen specifically to be one of HIS disciples, as I was made for HIS plan and HIS purpose, therefore that makes me more than "qualified."  As I try and wrap my mind around that, I'm finding myself more and more overwhelmed.  Me, Heather, a hott mess, who makes mistakes all of the time, who can speak HIS word, but not live it completely, is chosen, is "qualified?!?!"  

HE is telling me that no matter how insignificant or small I "think" my part is, I must understand that it is through HIM that I am "qualified."  HE is wanting me to know that it is through HIS confidence in me that I am able to fully grasp and understand that I am indeed one of HIS disciples.  HE is wanting me to know that in choosing to live my life as one of HIS disciples means helping HIM to build HIS church.

I was blown away this morning as our pastor spoke about the very thing HE had been teaching me this morning.  Though I didn't understand it fully then, I do now, and what I know is this.  GOD is building HIS church.  HIS bride, HIS love, to bring HIS Kingdom of HEAVEN here to Earth.  HE has chosen me to do HIS good works, to speak boldly, and to declare that HE is LORD! 

I am learning that I have been equipped by HIM so that I can protect HIS church.  HE is wanting me to know that I am protecting the church when I choose to speak HIS truth, HIS words, and live HIS truth daily.  HE wanting me to know that I have been called to speak against false religions and false teachings.  I am learning that I am to speak HIS truth when it comes to anything that contradicts the bible which is HIS word, and HIS truth!

Today HE is wanting me to know that in the times where I "feel" unqualified  HE is wanting me to always remember that HE can, will, and does take my hott mess, and turn it into HIS powerful message!  HE is wanting me to know that I am the only one who can write HIS Daily Teachings, as it is all about me and my journey and daily walks with HIM.  

Okay, so that very thought both excites and scares me all at once.  I'm excited, as WOW, really GOD that is too cool!  The part that scares me is, "Um I am a hott mess, and I don't want to share what a total hott mess I am...... I don't want people to know the "real" me.... I don't want to be judged...... I am afraid..... I don't want my words or my story to be used against me........ I.could.go.on.and.on.and.on.......... but I won't." 

Today HE is letting me know that it is time for me to LET GO of the fear that I am holding onto so tightly and let HIM teach, lead, and guide me to build me, restore me, renew me, transform me, so that I am qualified to share HIS Daily Teachings.

Even now I just feel like, "wow GOD really?"  Never in my wildest dreams would I have ever thought HE would use me in this way.  In the past almost 11 years of my journey with HIM I have heard many people share their testimonies on how GOD used them in a BIG way, and I had always longed for HIM to use me in the same way.  I am in shock and awe that HE has made me a writer, as well if you were to talk to my college English professor he would let you know that I am so NOT a writer.  Thankfully, being HOLY SPIRIT lead I am. 

As I took part in communion this morning it dawned on me what exactly it meant for me to be chosen by HIM to be one of HIS disciples.  I realized that in taking part of communion it was my way of responding to HIS call for me to follow HIM.  The more our Pastor spoke the more the message came true for my life.  Pastor Dave Mudd was saying that we respond by worshiping HIM, and today I was both arms high in the air praising HIM, thanking HIM, and just loving HIM and all that HE has done, and all that HE has yet to do in my life!

I am thankful that today's message was to teach me the gift of this new year, is actually a daily gift, and that is one that I get to have a do-over EVERY single DAY that I am here on this Earth!   That is amazing to me, as I make mistakes daily, and seek HIS forgiveness when I do fall flat on my face.  Today I am thankful for HIS loving reminder that all I have to do is refocus, and seek HIM, and ask HIM to teach, lead, and guide me through every single moment of my journey towards wholeness with HIM.

The more I write either in my journal or on this blog, the more I am comforted in knowing that HE is teaching me, and that HE is here with me, as there is NO way, I could ever come up with any of this by myself.  I have said it before that I am no a writer, however in being lead by HIS HOLY SPIRIT everything is possible!  I received great comfort in knowing that HE does speak to me through this scripture that our Pastor read today.

“But what about you?” he asked. “Who do you say I am?” Simon Peter answered, “You are the Messiah, the Son of the living God.” Jesus replied, “Blessed are you, Simon son of Jonah, for this was not revealed to you by flesh and blood, but by my Father in heaven. And I tell you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of Hades will not overcome it."  Matthew 16:15-18

Since this past May GOD has really been pressing this hard on my heart, and that is that I am NOT to conform to the ways of this world.  I am not to worry about being a world pleaser, but rather I am called to be a world changer.  GOD has let me know in the past, and is letting me know again now that HE isn't interested in making sure that I am comfortable, rather HE is interested in making sure that my faith in HIM is being stretched, and that I am not staying in the same place for very long, so that I will NOT grow stagnant in my faith.

"Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship.  Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you.  For just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function,  so in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others.  We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us. If your gift is prophesying, then prophesy in accordance with your faith;  if it is serving, then serve; if it is teaching, then teach;  if it is to encourage, then give encouragement; if it is giving, then give generously; if it is to lead, do it diligently; if it is to show mercy, do it cheerfully." Romans 12:1-8

HE is wanting me to know that if I am still doubting on whether or not I truly am "qualified" to speak HIS truth, and share HIS good news, all I need to remember is that I have been blessed with HIS gifts which make me more than "qualified."  In the year of 2009 I learned that my spiritual gifts are mercy, discernment, and wisdom.  One final gift of prayer was revealed to me, and though at the time I "tried" to deny it, HIS truth prevailed and I have since become a prayer warrior.

Throughout the remaining part of our pastor's message today he spoke about the gifts that we have all been given.  He went onto to say that whether I like it or not, my gift is there.  He also said that I must understand that these very gifts are from GOD HIMSELF.  I am learning that the gifts that I have been blessed with are for HIS plan and HIS purpose for this life that I am living.  

Today I have learned that when I don't use my gifts in the way HE intended I am allowing HIS church to be weakened.  Therefore I must use HIS amazing gifts that HE has blessed me with so that I will be doing my part of bringing HIS Kingdom of HEAVEN here to Earth.

"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." Matthew 6:33

My final thought for today is this, I am thankful that I read about the importance of having an ear like "Samuel," so that I will hear HIS whispers, and heed them as well.  I am thankful that I have answered HIS call for my life to write out HIS Daily Teachings.  I am thankful that I am able to use my gifts no matter how small or insignificant I "think" they are, as they were designed for HIS perfect plan, vision, and purpose for my life.  I am thankful that I was able to worship HIM by singing, "Be Thou My Vision" today.

I pray today that you will have the courage to seek HIM, and ask HIM what your gifts are.  I pray that you too will see that you are more than "qualified" to speak HIS truth, and live HIS word each day.  I pray that you know that with the start of each day it is HIS gift to you, so that you will be able to do your part of bringing HIS Kingdom of HEAVEN here to earth.  I pray that when you use your gifts you will be in awe of HIS presence and know that you are more than "qualified."

Blessings,
Heather