hit the wall

I woke up at 4.am. this morning, "thinking" I was ready to hear whatever it is that HE is wanting me to know today.  However, about half way into writing out what I "thought" would be HIS Daily Teachings for me, I hit a wall.  Usually when I hit the wall in writing, I just close up shop, and come back to it at a later date.This morning however, is not like those times, and HE is pulling back the curtains, and showing me where even when I "think" I have placed ALL of my faith and trust in HIM, in a certain area of my life, I'm really haven't, which leads to typing my second post for today.

When I hit the wall this morning my heart sank, as I struggled to even put two words together.  In desperation to hear HIM I began to say, "LORD give me faith, help me to overcome my unbelief."  True to HIS word, HE lead me straight to a song that says exactly what I am feeling right in this very moment.

"Give Me Faith" by "Elevation Worship" is speaking volumes to my heart this morning.  As I sit here listening to it, HE is slowly tearing down the wall, that I have hit.  HE is wanting me to know that the wall that I have hit, is my unbelief.  Even after all this time, I still struggle in believing HIM that HE really does have my best interest at heart.  

Yesterday I was given the opportunity to speak HIS truth, and instead I cowered and failed to speak HIS truth when I knew that I was being prompted by HIS HOLY SPIRIT.  So, this morning I have fallen flat on my face, in seeking HIM and HIS will for my life, and have asked HIM to please give me the faith that I need to overcome my unbelief that has caused me to hit the wall.

"I need You to soften my heart, to break me apart. I need You to open my eyes, To see that You're shaping my life"

HE is wanting me to know that it isn't always about me learning something new, but rather solidifying what I already know because HE has been teaching it to me for quite some time now. However, in my humanness I think it's more about the quantity of what I am learning, rather than seeking the quality, HIS truth, of WHO I am, and where I fall short, HE doesn't, and HE can, will, & does open my eyes to HIS will for my life, when I surrender at the wall.

"All I am, I surrender."

HE is wanting me to know that surrender for me means that I must choose to let go.... and seek HIS will, HIS truth for my life. I must loose the mindset that "hey GOD thanks for all your help, but I've got this" mentality.   

"Give me faith to trust what You say That You're good, and Your love is great. I'm broken inside, I give You my life." 

HE is wanting me to know this morning that in order to overcome the wall, I must seek HIS will, HIS truth, and trust HIM completely.  I must know, and be filled with HIS true confidence of WHO I am, because of WHOSE I am.  HE is asking me to never forget just how amazing HIS love and grace are for me.  HE is wanting me to always remember that because I am broken, I need HIM, and all I have to do is surrender my life, give my life to HIM, and HE will meet me at the wall.

"I need You to soften my heart, To break me apart. I need You to pierce through the dark And cleanse every part of me"

This morning HE is letting me know that there are still parts of my heart that need to be softened so that I will be able to overcome the wall, that I hit almost daily.  Therefore, I must seek HIM daily and ask HIM to teach, lead, and guide me through every single moment of my journey towards wholeness with HIM.  HE is wanting me to know that when I am in the darkness, all I need to do is look at the light, HIS light, and HE will meet me right where I am, when I choose to surrender at the wall.

"I may be weak, but Your Spirit's strong in me. My flesh may fail, but My God You never will"

I am learning that though I may be weak, HE isn't and HIS HOLY SPIRIT is strong inside of me. HE is teaching me daily that my flesh will fail when I fail to seek HIS will for my life. I am thankful that my SAVIOR loves me enough to capture my heart, and prove to me time and again that HIS love is unfailing, and unconditional, and is mine.

Once again, I am blown away by HIS goodness and mercy that HE is showering over my life.  I am thankful that HE loves me enough to keep seeking me, and showing me just what HIS will is for my life, and teaching me that I can trust HIM, that HE will do what HE says HE will do.

I pray today that if you have hit the wall you will seek HIM.  I pray that you will have the courage to surrender at the wall.  I pray that my writings will be a blessing to you today to know that you are not alone.  I pray that you will know that this is all to remind each of us of HIS loving, mercy and grace that is there for you and I to claim and receive.

Blessings,
Heather