On Saturday, October 17, 1998 at 3 p.m. I slowly made my way through and across the church to my fiance, who was waiting for me to walk down the aisle together. As I have written in the past, I was estranged from my parents at that time. Looking back I can actually see that GOD had been setting the stage for the beginning of what would take years of reconciliation to occur in my relationship with them. Anyways, back to walking down the aisle, I remember seeing D, and him smiling at me with so much love, eagerness, and tenderness in his eyes. He reached out his hand, and I placed mine is his, and he said to me, "Hey Baby want to walk down the aisle with me?" That was/is D, he is always and forever more trying to make me laugh, and to see me smile.
We made it to the front of the church where we were holding hands, and the Minister began to say a bunch of things, that honestly I don't even remember what he said. I do remember however feeling D's hand in mine, and feeling him squeeze my hand as if to say, "can you believe it we're getting married?" We recited our vows to one another, D speaking so calmly, and with such pride that I was becoming his bride. When it was my turn, I trembled, shook, and bawled through all of it, almost as if I was in total disbelief that someone would actually want to marry me. Me, Heather, a girl who had struggled with self-esteem for as long as I can remember, D chose me, to marry me, to make me his bride, at the young ages of 20 and 21. I should also tell you that at that time we were also 6.5 months along in our journey of becoming parents for the first time.
When the Minister said, "I now pronounce you husband and wife, D you may kiss your bride" I thought my heart would burst. We continued onto our amazing wedding reception, and spent the night laughing, dancing, and spending time with our friends and family. Afterwards, because I was pregnant, we headed to our hotel, and it was there that D helped me out of my dress, and I slipped into the bathroom to slip into something more "comfortable," and came out to my gorgeous husband waiting for me. I laid down on the bed, and he began to rub my feet. Somewhere in the span of five minutes, D said I fell into a deep sleep, one of which I wouldn't wake until morning. Talk about a harsh entry into NOT having your "great expectations" met.
This morning HE is taking me on the journey of my marriage to D, and showing me what our marriage is truly intended for. HIS Daily Teachings today is reminding me that not only did we tie the knot that day, but when we were both saved, and received the gift of HIS SALVATION that we truly did Tie the Knot.
HE is wanting me to know that our version and HIS version are completely different. As upon entering into marriage with D, I fully "expected" him to just know me, know my needs, and simply put, he was there to love me, take care of me, nurture me, and be sure to meet ALL of my "needs." HE is telling me that it was in those time's where I failed to see that there was so much more to our marriage than either one of us could have possibly imagined.
By year three of our marriage we were now parents to two beautiful little girls, and things were rocky to say the least. D was working a hour away from home, and we had made the decision that I would stay home with the girls, and take care of our home.(small two bedroom apartment) As I have written in other blogs this in where my demons met up with me, and I began to plan my exit from this cruel harsh world.
The harsh reality was this, I was so focused on D and making him my everything, and I was so desperately wanting to be his everything that I was overwhelming him. My past was creeping up and out of me daily, and before long I was completely coming apart at the seams. Three and a half years into our marriage, it was no longer, "Hi honey welcome home, I missed you *kiss* how was your day?" Sadly, it was more like, "Great your home, F%$^ could you have stayed longer at the office(sarcasm, as I was totally resentful that he had a life outside of our apartment) To which D responded, " You know what F%$^ You, I worked all day, and you didn't even make dinner, what's wrong with you?" It saddens me to be reliving this moment in our marriage but I am thankful as HE has redeemed us both from that time in our marriage, and through HIS amazing love and grace we have overcome our communication battles to where we now fight about the issues, and NOT fight with each other.
It has taken a really long time, as I am a sllllooooow learner to, accept that NOT everything is about me in our marriage, that's why its called "our marriage." HE is reminding me once again that "our" doesn't mean just D and I, rather it means HIM, teaching, leading, and guiding us both to become WHO each other needs in our marriage. D and I learned a long time ago that we needed to tie the knot, the marriage knot.
"Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken." Ecclesiastes 4:12
Today HE is revealing just what D and signed up for when we agreed to Tie the Knot with HIM. It is of no surprise to me that today's bible study was focused on insecurity where the author talked about her relationship with her husband. HE is showing me that often time where I feel the least secure is in my marriage to D, as it is when he isn't meeting my "great expectations," that I "feel" as if though he doesn't listen to me, love me, or care for me the same way I do for him.
HE is wanting me to know that my thinking has become so distorted in "thinking, speaking, and acting upon my self righteous beliefs that I am all that, and a bag of chips! HE is truly knocking me off my high horse today, and bringing me along side of HIM to show me that D and I are really not that different, as we both need HIM.
"Your husband loves you" YES he does. And I love him. But we are flawed people with flawed hearts. We don't always say the right thing or choose to do the thing that would build the other up." Beth Moore "So Long: Insecurity"
HE is letting me know that even though I married D for love HE is showing me that through choosing to Tie the Knot with HIM love isn't just a "feeling" rather love is an action, meaning that when life gets hard, and the storms roll in, I must choose to hold fast to my FAITH in HIM, that HE will carry us through the storm. HE is wanting me to remember that in the earlier days of my marriage to D and "thinking" that D's job was to carry me through our life's challenges is NOT what I need to be thinking these days.
HE is reminding me that D and I are both flawed people, WHO need HIM, and that means that both of us are going to slip from time to time, and there will be times where each of us want to run the other way, and that is WHY HE became THE KNOT in our marriage.
HE is teaching me that while the world's view is to marry for now (until someone better comes along), and marry until (until you hurt me, and I can't forgive you) marry for love (I love the way you make me feel, and dote on me, I love being your best friend, and I love all of our ooey gooey lovey dovey talk about our "feelings") marry for lust (you look good, I look good, we both look good together, of course we'll get married, we'll be the best looking couple) marry for money (all I "need" is someone who is "rich" and then I will be happy) or like D and I we got married because it was the next step in our relationship.
HE is wanting me to know that while we may have gotten married for all the wrong reasons, we have been given HIS blessed assurance, in seeking HIS perspective of our marriage and what we both need to be doing so that we contribute to our marriage. HE is reminding me once again that my marriage to D isn't 50/50 rather it is 100/100. This means that I must seek HIS will for my life, my marriage to D, and choose to follow HIS plan, and HIS will for our marriage. HE is wanting me to know that even when I "feel" as if though D isn't doing the same, I must choose to press on and press through by modeling CHRIST in our marriage to D, so that he too will seek HIS will, and HIS plan for our marriage.
HE is telling me that is what HIS intention for marriage has been all along, for each of us to wake every day saying, "how can I make their day even better than yesterday? What is my husband/wife needing from me? How can I show them that I am in this marriage for better or for worse , for richer, for poorer, in sickness, and in health, till death do us part?" HE is wanting me to know that the answer to those questions comes when we choose to see that HE is THE KNOT in our marriage.
"We love each other deeply and know each other like no one else" Beth Moore
HE is telling me that D knows me in ways that only he is supposed to know, and I am the same way for him. HE is wanting me to know that this has been HIS purpose, HIS plan, and HIS vision all along for the creation of our marriage. HE is teaching me that this means that when both D and I are actively seeking HIM and allowing HIM to be the center of our marriage to be THE KNOT HE is FAITHFUL, and HE is there, and HE absolutely cares for each of us, and the fate of our marriage. Therefore, I must choose to get out of my own way, and allow HIS way to be the only way for our marriage.
"We are versed in each other's weaknesses and starkly aware of the other's vulnerabilities. Most of the time we avoid those areas. Some of the time we aim at them." Beth Moore
HE is teaching me that I am NOT being made aware of D's vulnerabilities so that I may use them against him, rather to know, and to encourage D, by building him up in choosing to speak HIS words, and HIS truth into D's life of WHO he is, because I know that he is HIS son!
HE is wanting me to remember that it is in those moments where I "feel" like lashing out, I must choose to guard my thoughts, and allow HIM to tame my tongue, as it is much harder to rebuke the lies that penetrate our hearts the way they do when the lies come from our other half.
HE is telling me that my marriage to D wasn't created so that we would battle each other, rather to that we would battle the circumstances and our life's challenges facing them as a team. HE is wanting me to remember that HE is our coach for our team. HE is THE KNOT that will keep our heads in the game of life, and HE is the only one WHO will lead us to victory!
"No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us." Romans 8:37
HE is reminding me that so often I forget that D and I are on the same team, as I am so busy comparing, blaming, and failing to see just how amazing D is. HE is wanting me to know that I must get my head in the game in get my focus on what HE wants for our marriage and let go of my own foolish agenda, one of which frankly revolves around three people, (me, myself, and I)
This is hard for me, as I don't like to "think" of my self, as selfish. However, after going through HIS Daily Teachings with HIM today, I am seeing where I have been so focused on my foolish agenda, and have missed the mark so many times, and have forgone the opportunities to receive the abundance of blessings that HE has been waiting to pour over my marriage to D.
I now know that it has been no coincidence that HE began working on strengthening and building our FAITH and TRUST in HIM in regards to our marriage, so that we would be able minister to others about the matter's of marriage. HE has placed it heavy on my heart as well as D's to be able to speak HIS words, and HIS TRUTH about what a CHRIST centered marriage really looks like.
Today I am so incredibly thankful that HE is teaching me, and showing me where I have fallen short in my marriage to D. I am thankful for HIS mercifully, endless, relentless love and amazing grace, of which without D and I wouldn't be getting ready to celebrate 16 years of marriage in just under 4 months. I am so incredibly blessed to be D's wife, and to know that though we may not know how to navigate through the storms of our marriage, all we need to do is keep THE KNOT tied tight in our marriage, and HE will help us OVERCOME every single difficulty, and challenge that we may face in our marriage.
Looking back on D and my hardships it will include: infidelity, suicidal threats, broken trust, divorce threat, divorces door step (twice) miscarriage (twice) depression, bankruptcy, foreclosure, health crisis (too many) financial loss, job loss, deaths in family, but through it all HE was there, HE was THE KNOT in our marriage, and HE continues to be just that in our marriage today.
D and I are getting to know each other the way HE has always intended for us to by choosing to make time for our marriage, in dating each other every week, and talking about our hopes, and dreams for our marriage, ourselves, and our family. There are times where we can't afford to go "out" so instead we go for walks, as some of our best talks have come from our walks with HIM.
I am in complete awe of how much HE loves us, and how HE delights in showing us how much HE does! I am so incredibly blessed, and thankful to be D's wife and to know that I was created to be his bride. He still gives me butterflies after all this time with just a look, and I am so thankful that I know it is all because we have chosen to ask HIM to be THE KNOT.
Dear Friends, I know life is hard. Marriage is hard. Sometimes unbearable... I pray today that you will know that HE cares for you, and HE is there. HE is waiting for you to say that you need HIM. I pray right now in this very moment in you are in a broken marriage, one where your trust has been broken, or abused, I pray that you will seek HIM for healing, for comfort, and for peace to know that HE will turn this all out for your good, by bringing you close to HIM, and allowing HIM to show you HIS vision for your marriage. I pray that even if today you had a fight with your spouse that you will go to HIM, and ask HIM to show you what is really going on behind the scenes. I pray today that you will have the courage to seek HIM to ask HIM to transform and renew your heart so that you will be the person that your spouse needs. I pray that you will know that you aren't in this alone, that HE is there, and HE is ready, and waiting to teach, lead, and guide you and to show you what HIS vision is for your marriage. I pray that if you are single, you will see my story as HIS message of the only reason to be married, and to teach you that when you allow HIM to be THE KNOT in your marriage you too will be more than a conqueror!
With much love, prayers, understanding, compassion, and blessings,
Heather
This is an account of my early morning walks of faith with my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. In searching for accountablity for me, the LORD used it as encouragement for others. I pray blessings for each and every life who reads HIS Daily Teachings
Monday, June 30, 2014
Saturday, June 28, 2014
"needy and hysterical"
Oh man here we go again, the title says it all. Perhaps I should just start at the beginning and tell you why this little gem of a saying has become ingrained into my brain the last few days. I'm sure by now you were wondering why I haven't blogged, and to be honest, I was focused on something far more important for me to understand, and that is, until I start taking care of my body which is HIS living temple, HE can't work in me or through me the way HE has intended to all along if I am not able to stay awake long enough to hear HIS whispers, let alone heed HIS whispers of the changes that HE is wanting to make in my heart, soul, and mind.
The truth is, because I have failed to care for myself, I was constantly falling asleep during bible study, and as a result I wasn't able to type HIS Daily Teachings, as I couldn't really focus on what HE was saying to me. This past Monday however, HE captured my attention once again, and I began my daily workouts at our local gym. It has been through this past week that HE has started chipping away at all of my insecurities, that have left me "feeling" "needy and hysterical."
Four days into my daily workouts, my hearing aid quit working. I wish I could say that my response was something like, "oh bummer, well I know GOD will provide and meet all of my needs, so I'm NOT going to worry about this, GOD's got this!" When in all actuality my response was, "Wahhhhhh I can't believe this is happening now, WHY GOD OH WHY do I have to be deaf? Wahhhhhh, my poor husband D, he works so hard, and now he will have to buy me new hearing aids.... Wahhhh I'm robbing our families resources, and hoarding them for myself. Wahhhh......" Honestly, I think I went through half a box of tissues that day. To make matters worse, I didn't stop when D got home. In fact I was supposed to be excited and ready for date night with him to celebrate our 19 years of being together.
Sadly, I was so focused on maintaining my self-loathing, and crying and feeling sorry for myself by continuing to be "needy and hysterical." D ended up fixing my hearing aid, (which only deepened the insecurity of my "feeling" dumb and stupid) and now I can hear again, but sadly in my selfishness all I could focus on was, "great, now I'll NEVER get new hearing aids."
Whew, I don't know how D stands me sometimes, I completely and totally irritate myself just in typing this out. It is in these moments where I am so incredibly thankful and blessed to be living with HIS amazing grace. I am thankful that no matter how "needy and hysterical" I become, HE is there, HE is waiting, and HE will carry me through, and HE will take my burdens from me, all I have to do is offer them up to HIM.
Sounds easy right?!? Well as you know by now, I am a sllllloooow learner, and because of that it is of NO surprise that HE is taking me through the next chapter of my journey towards wholeness with HIM. HIS Daily Teachings today began yesterday at our local library when HE called me to check out my current read by Beth Moore "SO Long Insecurity." To be honest, I was a little hurt, my pride that is, as I "thought" I was getting better in that department. However, after only reading the first chapter the harsh reality is that I need HIM more now than ever before, as HIS truth is speaking through the lies that have penetrated my heart for far too long. Today HE is shining HIS light on the lies that have kept me locked in my own prison without a key, through HIS hope, as HE is the key, and with HIS love, HE is tearing down the walls, and helping me break free, breakthrough, and overcome every single one of my insecurities.
Foolishly I began to "think" as I was reading, I'll just read this time, no journaling, surely I can retain everything, and write about what I think I need to write about. I'm sure GOD laughed at my thought, and quickly let me know that I wouldn't just be journaling, rather I would be quoting verbatim what Beth Moore has to say in her book. I should have known better as the last thing I journaled that was in my heart today was, "LORD have YOUR way in me!" I know now that GOD answered, "Ahem, ask and you shall receive."
"I type by faith NOT by sight" Beth Moore "So Long Insecurity"
How true these words are for my life, as there have been many times where I "think" I know what I am to write about, only to write three or four paragraphs, and HE has me erase all of it, as I am completely missing the mark. I can honestly say that before HIS Daily Teachings, I couldn't write much of anything, well not anything that anyone would want to read that is.
This morning HE is taking me through today's teaching step by step and revealing HIS truth to me as I quote the author's words.
"Somethings wrong with us for us to value ourselves so little. Our culture has thrown us under the bus." Beth Moore
HE is wanting me to know that the days where I seek security of this world is over. HE is wanting me to know that as long as I am going to everything, and everyone but HIM, I will NEVER be satisfied by anything that anyone has to do or say about me or to me. HE is wanting me to know that this world that I "think" loves me so much would be so quick to throw me under the bus, criticize, ridicule, and persecute me without even batting an eye. HE is telling me that it is in those moments where I allow my insecurities to take over my emotional, and mental well being by becoming "needy and hysterical."
"Woman want to be told that they are captivating, that they are beautiful and desirable." Beth Moore
HE is telling me that HE thinks I am captivating, beautiful and desirable. HE is telling me that this has been HIS plan and HIS purpose ALL along for me to seek out HIS truth about WHO I am, and be able to live with the security in know that because of WHOSE I am that no matter what someone may say or think about me, or do to hurt me, HE is there, HE cares for me, and HE is the only one WHO knows and loves me the best. HE is telling me that when I seek my value from this world, I will always be disappointed, and that is how Satan will keep me trapped in bondage in "feeling" "needy and hysterical."
HE is telling me that the only place I will find the steady affirmation that my soul is craving, is by choosing to walk closely with HIM, and allowing HIM to show me what my worth is to HIM. HE is wanting me to know that my identity crisis that I am living with is because I have forgotten that I will know WHO I am, when I know WHOSE I am. HE is wanting me to know that when I look anywhere but right where HE is, that is when I fall apart, and that is when the two things I loathe the most about myself are reborn, that is when I fall flat on my face feeling the most undesirable, and unappealing as I am outwardly displaying that I am "needy and hysterical."
This morning HE is taking me through one of the hardest parts of my being "needy and hysterical," and that is my marriage to D. D has always been my rock, and he has seen me at my absolute worst, and also my best. However, more often than not he gets to see the "needy and hysterical" side of me that is totally irrational, inconsolable, WHO is inviting anyone and everyone who will come to her pity party. D has long since declined his invitation, for what I "feel" as if forever more. HE is wanting me to know that D's r.s.v.p of a resounding NO is all apart of HIS plan for my life. HE is telling me that had he not lead D to say NO, I would still be depending on D, and I wouldn't be seeking HIM with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength, each and every single day of my life. HE is teaching me that HE can't show me how much I need HIM until I can see that without HIM, all I will ever be is "needy and hysterical."
"Men are not our problem; its what we are trying to get from them that messes us up." Beth Moore
Wow! Talk about a tough dose of reality! Seriously, HE is teaching me that in the past, and well even now I depend way too much on my husband D. Sure, he is a strong guy, and strong in his faith, but come on give the guy a break, he has his limits. OUCH!!! This has been an extremely tough pill to swallow as I don't want to put anymore pressure on D, however, I am still struggling with this whole "needy and hysterical" thing that I seem to go through each and every time my world gets shook up. Until now I was under the impression that it is ok for me to be the damsel in distress, and that D would be my knight in shining armor, WHO was born into this life to save and rescue me from every single storm, and attack that I go through.......... eh.......... talk about................pressure.
HE is wanting me to know and understand that if I, Heather need HIM so badly in my life, so that I won't become "needy and hysterical" what makes me think that D is any different? More so, D needs HIM as he has been given the responsibility to be the head of our household of seven, our sole provider and protector, WHO needs to remain calm, and level headed in this house full of "needy and hysterical" people. Today HE is showing me once again WHO D is through HIS eyes, and I am seeing D's role with HIS vision.
"We use guys like mirrors to see if we're valuable. Beautiful. Desirable. Worthy of notice. Viable." Beth Moore
HE is taking me back to only every single time I ask D, "Do I look okay? Does my makeup look good? Do you like my hair? Do you like my clothes? Do you think my shoes look okay with this outfit? Do you like my jewelry? Do you think my earrings look too big? Do you think my butt looks too big in this jeans? Do you like this dress? Do you, do you, do you, do you?????" Okay, now I am completely annoyed with myself, I can't imagine how frustrating it must be for D to be married to my constant questioning of my value, and self worth. I can only imagine how it must feel for him to be married to someone so insecure, who gives into her self-loathing, and becomes completely and totally irrational, and ends up crying like the hott mess that she is in allowing herself to once again be "needy and hysterical."
HE is telling me that in the times where D seems withdrawn from me, I must NOT assume that it is because of me. HE is wanting me to remember that just as I teach my children, "the world does NOT revolve around me! The sun does NOT rise and set because of JUST me!" HE is wanting me to know that when I allow my thoughts to go there and assume that D's frustrations are because of me, that is when my "feelings" go into overdrive, and that is when I become "needy and hysterical."
"We're attempting to get our security from a gender that doesn't really have much to spare." Beth Moore
Goodness gracious, I am feeling the heat rush to my face today. How many times have I expected, with great expectations for D to just come in a save the day. Not only save the day, but read my mind. Honestly, I didn't realize any of this until today, during HIS Daily Teachings. HE is wanting me to know that the very thing that I have been praying to GOD to change D about, is something that HE changed D from on purpose, for HIS purpose, so that HE would draw me near to HIM, and so that I would rely and depend on only HIM. HE is reminding me once again that D isn't there to carry me along in my life, rather to be my supporter, and encourager. HE is wanting me to know that all the hard work in my life that needs to be done, can only be completed by myself. Just as in D's life, only he can do the work.
"Let's face it, Men want us to get a grip anyway. They don't like the pressure of being in charge of our sense of value. It's too much for them." Beth Moore
HE is reminding me of my latest episode of being "needy and hysterical," how D not only walked away from me, but said to me, "I'm not going to stand here and listen to you get down on yourself by talking badly about yourself this way. I'm not going to listen to this anymore." HE is wanting me to know that was D's way of saying, "seriously get a grip woman! I fixed your hearing aid, say "thanks baby" smile, and MOVE ON!!!" What is wrong with you? Stop self-loathing, and see yourself as we all see you, YOU are amazing, wonderful, loving, kind, caring, and giving, YOU ARE NOT THIS HOTT MESS WHO NEEDS TO BE NEEDY AND HYSTERICAL!!!!" If my husband were a person who yells, I believe he would probably yell that last part, which is why I typed it in all caps!
The next part of my current read really speaks volumes to my heart, and makes me realize that this needs to be my heart's cry.
"I want some soul-deep security drawn from a source that never runs dry,and never disparages us for requiring it." Beth Moore
YES!!! Amen!!! That is what I want!!!! HE is telling me that HE is there, HE cares for me, and HE is the soul-deep security that I am desperately craving. HE is telling me that HIS strength is always there for me, and that through HIS amazing grace, unending, unfailing, and relentless love I, Heather, "emotional, hott mess, needy and hysterical" can, and will OVERCOME ALL of my strongholds with HIM!!!
HE is telling me that it is imperative for me to know that when I am "feeling needy and hysterical" that I must bring it ALL to HIM, and NOT to D. HE is wanting me to know it is because HE is the only one WHO knows the amazing plans that have been written for my life, therefore I must choose to go straight to the only source who can truly create in my the security the my soul craves, and desires, WHO will take away the "feelings" of being "needy and hysterical."
" For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
HE is wanting me to know that the only ONE strong enough to love me when I hate me, is HIM. HE is reminding me of this in taking me back to yesterday where in my moment of self loathing, D looked right at me with complete annoyance and said, "where's your faith?" It was then that I looked straight into his eyes and said, "I don't know, but I'm praying to GOD to help me overcome my unbelief!"
" But if you can do anything, take pity on us and help us.”
The truth is, because I have failed to care for myself, I was constantly falling asleep during bible study, and as a result I wasn't able to type HIS Daily Teachings, as I couldn't really focus on what HE was saying to me. This past Monday however, HE captured my attention once again, and I began my daily workouts at our local gym. It has been through this past week that HE has started chipping away at all of my insecurities, that have left me "feeling" "needy and hysterical."
Four days into my daily workouts, my hearing aid quit working. I wish I could say that my response was something like, "oh bummer, well I know GOD will provide and meet all of my needs, so I'm NOT going to worry about this, GOD's got this!" When in all actuality my response was, "Wahhhhhh I can't believe this is happening now, WHY GOD OH WHY do I have to be deaf? Wahhhhhh, my poor husband D, he works so hard, and now he will have to buy me new hearing aids.... Wahhhh I'm robbing our families resources, and hoarding them for myself. Wahhhh......" Honestly, I think I went through half a box of tissues that day. To make matters worse, I didn't stop when D got home. In fact I was supposed to be excited and ready for date night with him to celebrate our 19 years of being together.
Sadly, I was so focused on maintaining my self-loathing, and crying and feeling sorry for myself by continuing to be "needy and hysterical." D ended up fixing my hearing aid, (which only deepened the insecurity of my "feeling" dumb and stupid) and now I can hear again, but sadly in my selfishness all I could focus on was, "great, now I'll NEVER get new hearing aids."
Whew, I don't know how D stands me sometimes, I completely and totally irritate myself just in typing this out. It is in these moments where I am so incredibly thankful and blessed to be living with HIS amazing grace. I am thankful that no matter how "needy and hysterical" I become, HE is there, HE is waiting, and HE will carry me through, and HE will take my burdens from me, all I have to do is offer them up to HIM.
Sounds easy right?!? Well as you know by now, I am a sllllloooow learner, and because of that it is of NO surprise that HE is taking me through the next chapter of my journey towards wholeness with HIM. HIS Daily Teachings today began yesterday at our local library when HE called me to check out my current read by Beth Moore "SO Long Insecurity." To be honest, I was a little hurt, my pride that is, as I "thought" I was getting better in that department. However, after only reading the first chapter the harsh reality is that I need HIM more now than ever before, as HIS truth is speaking through the lies that have penetrated my heart for far too long. Today HE is shining HIS light on the lies that have kept me locked in my own prison without a key, through HIS hope, as HE is the key, and with HIS love, HE is tearing down the walls, and helping me break free, breakthrough, and overcome every single one of my insecurities.
Foolishly I began to "think" as I was reading, I'll just read this time, no journaling, surely I can retain everything, and write about what I think I need to write about. I'm sure GOD laughed at my thought, and quickly let me know that I wouldn't just be journaling, rather I would be quoting verbatim what Beth Moore has to say in her book. I should have known better as the last thing I journaled that was in my heart today was, "LORD have YOUR way in me!" I know now that GOD answered, "Ahem, ask and you shall receive."
"I type by faith NOT by sight" Beth Moore "So Long Insecurity"
How true these words are for my life, as there have been many times where I "think" I know what I am to write about, only to write three or four paragraphs, and HE has me erase all of it, as I am completely missing the mark. I can honestly say that before HIS Daily Teachings, I couldn't write much of anything, well not anything that anyone would want to read that is.
This morning HE is taking me through today's teaching step by step and revealing HIS truth to me as I quote the author's words.
"Somethings wrong with us for us to value ourselves so little. Our culture has thrown us under the bus." Beth Moore
HE is wanting me to know that the days where I seek security of this world is over. HE is wanting me to know that as long as I am going to everything, and everyone but HIM, I will NEVER be satisfied by anything that anyone has to do or say about me or to me. HE is wanting me to know that this world that I "think" loves me so much would be so quick to throw me under the bus, criticize, ridicule, and persecute me without even batting an eye. HE is telling me that it is in those moments where I allow my insecurities to take over my emotional, and mental well being by becoming "needy and hysterical."
"Woman want to be told that they are captivating, that they are beautiful and desirable." Beth Moore
HE is telling me that HE thinks I am captivating, beautiful and desirable. HE is telling me that this has been HIS plan and HIS purpose ALL along for me to seek out HIS truth about WHO I am, and be able to live with the security in know that because of WHOSE I am that no matter what someone may say or think about me, or do to hurt me, HE is there, HE cares for me, and HE is the only one WHO knows and loves me the best. HE is telling me that when I seek my value from this world, I will always be disappointed, and that is how Satan will keep me trapped in bondage in "feeling" "needy and hysterical."
HE is telling me that the only place I will find the steady affirmation that my soul is craving, is by choosing to walk closely with HIM, and allowing HIM to show me what my worth is to HIM. HE is wanting me to know that my identity crisis that I am living with is because I have forgotten that I will know WHO I am, when I know WHOSE I am. HE is wanting me to know that when I look anywhere but right where HE is, that is when I fall apart, and that is when the two things I loathe the most about myself are reborn, that is when I fall flat on my face feeling the most undesirable, and unappealing as I am outwardly displaying that I am "needy and hysterical."
This morning HE is taking me through one of the hardest parts of my being "needy and hysterical," and that is my marriage to D. D has always been my rock, and he has seen me at my absolute worst, and also my best. However, more often than not he gets to see the "needy and hysterical" side of me that is totally irrational, inconsolable, WHO is inviting anyone and everyone who will come to her pity party. D has long since declined his invitation, for what I "feel" as if forever more. HE is wanting me to know that D's r.s.v.p of a resounding NO is all apart of HIS plan for my life. HE is telling me that had he not lead D to say NO, I would still be depending on D, and I wouldn't be seeking HIM with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength, each and every single day of my life. HE is teaching me that HE can't show me how much I need HIM until I can see that without HIM, all I will ever be is "needy and hysterical."
"Men are not our problem; its what we are trying to get from them that messes us up." Beth Moore
Wow! Talk about a tough dose of reality! Seriously, HE is teaching me that in the past, and well even now I depend way too much on my husband D. Sure, he is a strong guy, and strong in his faith, but come on give the guy a break, he has his limits. OUCH!!! This has been an extremely tough pill to swallow as I don't want to put anymore pressure on D, however, I am still struggling with this whole "needy and hysterical" thing that I seem to go through each and every time my world gets shook up. Until now I was under the impression that it is ok for me to be the damsel in distress, and that D would be my knight in shining armor, WHO was born into this life to save and rescue me from every single storm, and attack that I go through.......... eh.......... talk about................pressure.
HE is wanting me to know and understand that if I, Heather need HIM so badly in my life, so that I won't become "needy and hysterical" what makes me think that D is any different? More so, D needs HIM as he has been given the responsibility to be the head of our household of seven, our sole provider and protector, WHO needs to remain calm, and level headed in this house full of "needy and hysterical" people. Today HE is showing me once again WHO D is through HIS eyes, and I am seeing D's role with HIS vision.
"We use guys like mirrors to see if we're valuable. Beautiful. Desirable. Worthy of notice. Viable." Beth Moore
HE is taking me back to only every single time I ask D, "Do I look okay? Does my makeup look good? Do you like my hair? Do you like my clothes? Do you think my shoes look okay with this outfit? Do you like my jewelry? Do you think my earrings look too big? Do you think my butt looks too big in this jeans? Do you like this dress? Do you, do you, do you, do you?????" Okay, now I am completely annoyed with myself, I can't imagine how frustrating it must be for D to be married to my constant questioning of my value, and self worth. I can only imagine how it must feel for him to be married to someone so insecure, who gives into her self-loathing, and becomes completely and totally irrational, and ends up crying like the hott mess that she is in allowing herself to once again be "needy and hysterical."
HE is telling me that in the times where D seems withdrawn from me, I must NOT assume that it is because of me. HE is wanting me to remember that just as I teach my children, "the world does NOT revolve around me! The sun does NOT rise and set because of JUST me!" HE is wanting me to know that when I allow my thoughts to go there and assume that D's frustrations are because of me, that is when my "feelings" go into overdrive, and that is when I become "needy and hysterical."
"We're attempting to get our security from a gender that doesn't really have much to spare." Beth Moore
Goodness gracious, I am feeling the heat rush to my face today. How many times have I expected, with great expectations for D to just come in a save the day. Not only save the day, but read my mind. Honestly, I didn't realize any of this until today, during HIS Daily Teachings. HE is wanting me to know that the very thing that I have been praying to GOD to change D about, is something that HE changed D from on purpose, for HIS purpose, so that HE would draw me near to HIM, and so that I would rely and depend on only HIM. HE is reminding me once again that D isn't there to carry me along in my life, rather to be my supporter, and encourager. HE is wanting me to know that all the hard work in my life that needs to be done, can only be completed by myself. Just as in D's life, only he can do the work.
"Let's face it, Men want us to get a grip anyway. They don't like the pressure of being in charge of our sense of value. It's too much for them." Beth Moore
HE is reminding me of my latest episode of being "needy and hysterical," how D not only walked away from me, but said to me, "I'm not going to stand here and listen to you get down on yourself by talking badly about yourself this way. I'm not going to listen to this anymore." HE is wanting me to know that was D's way of saying, "seriously get a grip woman! I fixed your hearing aid, say "thanks baby" smile, and MOVE ON!!!" What is wrong with you? Stop self-loathing, and see yourself as we all see you, YOU are amazing, wonderful, loving, kind, caring, and giving, YOU ARE NOT THIS HOTT MESS WHO NEEDS TO BE NEEDY AND HYSTERICAL!!!!" If my husband were a person who yells, I believe he would probably yell that last part, which is why I typed it in all caps!
The next part of my current read really speaks volumes to my heart, and makes me realize that this needs to be my heart's cry.
"I want some soul-deep security drawn from a source that never runs dry,and never disparages us for requiring it." Beth Moore
YES!!! Amen!!! That is what I want!!!! HE is telling me that HE is there, HE cares for me, and HE is the soul-deep security that I am desperately craving. HE is telling me that HIS strength is always there for me, and that through HIS amazing grace, unending, unfailing, and relentless love I, Heather, "emotional, hott mess, needy and hysterical" can, and will OVERCOME ALL of my strongholds with HIM!!!
HE is telling me that it is imperative for me to know that when I am "feeling needy and hysterical" that I must bring it ALL to HIM, and NOT to D. HE is wanting me to know it is because HE is the only one WHO knows the amazing plans that have been written for my life, therefore I must choose to go straight to the only source who can truly create in my the security the my soul craves, and desires, WHO will take away the "feelings" of being "needy and hysterical."
" For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
HE is wanting me to know that the only ONE strong enough to love me when I hate me, is HIM. HE is reminding me of this in taking me back to yesterday where in my moment of self loathing, D looked right at me with complete annoyance and said, "where's your faith?" It was then that I looked straight into his eyes and said, "I don't know, but I'm praying to GOD to help me overcome my unbelief!"
" But if you can do anything, take pity on us and help us.”
"If you can’?” said Jesus. “Everything is possible for one who believes.”
Immediately the boy’s father exclaimed, “I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!”
This is HIS loving reminder that I can, and will OVERCOME anything that is difficult in my life when I choose to BELIEVE HIM that HE will do what HE says HE will do, and that HE does love me more than anyone else. That HE truly does care for me, and HE really does have my best interest at heart. HE is wanting me to know that it was NEVER a part of HIS plan to keep me "feeling" and responding to the difficulties and challenges in my life in being "needy and hysterical."
"Life is too hard and the world too mean for many of us to grasp a lofty sense of acceptance, approval, and affirmation." Beth Moore
HE is telling me that I must NOT rely on my "feelings" to pull me through as my circumstances will always be changing. HE is wanting me to know that the reason why I have always struggled to fit in, and feel as if though I belong, is so that I would always know that the only place where I will ever truly fit in and feel accepted as though I belong is with HIM. HE is telling me that this has been HIS plan all along for me to NOT only know this, but to live this according to HIS plans, and HIS will for my life. HE is teaching me that this is the very reason why I am so different, in the way I think, speak,and act. HE is letting me know this is the very reason why I wear hearing aids, so to block out what the world is telling me, so that I can solely focus on what HE is telling me.
"An old situation creeping up in a new season of our life can be more complicated than ever." Beth Moore
"As if the battle isn't hard enough, we sabotage ourselves, with self-condemnation" Beth Moore
HE is telling me instead of becoming "needy and hysterical" during painful situations of insecurities, I must seek HIM and allow HIS truth to speak authority over my situation that is causing my insecurity. HE is telling me once again that when I know HIS truth, it is HIS truth that will set me free!
"If you stick with this, living out what I tell you, you are my disciples for sure. Then you will experience for yourselves the truth, and the truth will free you.” John 8:32 The Message
"My head knows good and well that this doesn't define me. Why can't I get that message to my heart?" Beth Moore
LORD JESUS, I pray today that YOUR words will penetrate my heart, and lead me through the breakthroughs of my insecurities. I pray that my constant go to in my time of distress will be to YOU, and not to allowing myself to be "needy and hysterical." LORD create in me a patient heart, and mind that knows that YOUR timing and provision are perfect, and that by YOUR power and authority which rule over my life, everything is covered. Help me to OVERCOME my unbelief that YOU are with me, and because of that I have absolutely NOTHING to worry about. I pray today that YOU will keep teaching me, leading me, and guiding me towards wholeness as I seek YOU to live out YOUR plans and YOUR purpose for my life. I am so incredibly blessed to have received YOUR teachings today, thank YOU for loving, saving, hearing, and blessing me with YOUR amazing grace! In YOUR HOLY, JUST, and RIGHTEOUS Name! Amen!
Dear friends I pray today that you will know that your insecurities don't define you. That your worth can only be found in HIM. I pray today that you will have the courage to seek HIM to show you where you have fallen short and have become "needy and hysterical." I pray that you will seek HIM and ask HIM to give you the strength to overcome, so that you too will be living your life as HIS living testament that HE is good, HE is faithful, and that HE truly does love and know you best. I pray that you will know that HE will take your hott mess of circumstances, and turn them into HIS beautiful message. I pray that you will have the courage to tell your story, which is HIS story, written and designed perfectly to bring HIS message of HOPE to the hopeless.
With much love, prayers, compassion, and blessings,
Heather
Tuesday, June 24, 2014
shaken
"Whatever will come our way. Through fire or pouring rain. We won't be shaken" Building 429 "We Won't be Shaken"
As each storm passes through my life, I tend to forget to stand firm in my FAITH, and allow HIM to create in me courage with HIS true confidence, to live out my life with HIS GODLY character. Instead of allowing HIM to lead me, I lead myself, and well to be honest, right off a cliff. No matter how hard I "try" to keep it together, and repeat HIS promises over and over, I allow my FAITH to be shaken.
HIS Daily Teachings today is reminding me once again that in the storms in my life, I must choose to stand firm in my FAITH in HIM, and TRUST HIM that HE is going to work everything that is wrong out, and make it for HIS good. HE is telling me that I must NOT let my fear of being shaken over-ride HIS promises for me, as I know, as HE has proven it time and again to me that No matter what happens to me, I know that I am NOT forsaken.
HE is telling me once again that HE sees me, and HE knows how I am going to react, even before the storm comes rolling into my life. HE is wanting me to know that it isn't just through the storms in my life, but through every single situation that I find myself in, HE is there, and HE already knows how I am going to react and what I am going to say. This for me is difficult, as HE is the only ONE WHO knows how long I will be this hott mess when I allow myself to be shaken.
Last night was a perfect example of how I allowed myself to manipulated in my thoughts, and therefore my words were wrong, and I didn't speak according to HIS word. I had once again allowed myself to be shaken. This morning HE is meeting me right where I am, and teaching me that when I seek HIM, and ask HIM to teach me how to speak, HE can, will, and does every single time.
This past Sunday our Pastor delivered a message about how HE is GREATER than our Sundays. Since then I can't stop thinking about this one thing he said, "instead of asking GOD to help you with what you want to do, why don't you tell GOD that you want to be a part of whatever HE is doing." This was like a HUGE punch in the face for me, (one I truly needed) as for so long I have been only focused on myself, that I haven't even thought about what HE is doing in the lives around me, and the lives that I encounter on a daily basis.
HE is wanting me to know that it is time that I see things through HIS vision, so that whenever I encounter someone I will say, "GOD I want to know what you are doing here, and I want to be a part of it. Use me LORD as a living vessel to be YOUR hands and feet, to bring YOUR KINGDOM of HEAVEN here to Earth." HE is telling me that when I choose to live my life this way, it won't matter what storms may brew and roll into my life, or the lives around me. HE is wanting me to know that when I choose to stand firm in my FAITH and seek HIS vision, I will then be able to boldly declare HIS promises, and it is then that I won't be shaken.
HE is reminding me once again that I must choose HIS JOY when I am suffering, as I know that is when HE is teaching me to TRUST HIM with absolutely everything in my life. HE is wanting me to know that when I choose to TRUST HIM, HE sees that, and not only does HE see, HE can, will, and does double my blessings for my trouble.
" But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. “Do not fear their threats ; do not be frightened.” 1 Peter 3:14
"Instead of your shame you will receive a double portion, and instead of disgrace you will rejoice in your inheritance. And so you will inherit a double portion in your land,and everlasting joy will be yours." Isaiah 61:7
This morning I am hearing HIS message loud and clear, that I must choose HIS JOY when I am suffering, and it is when I live with HIS JOY that I know that I won't be shaken. HE is telling me that choosing JOY means that I must choose to sow the right seeds (speak the right words, behave the way HE is wanting me to behave, and live according to HIS will) so that I will then reap an amazing harvest (HIS blessings will overflow in my life, and my life will truly be HIS living testament of HIS goodness, and HIS faithfulness.)
As each storm passes through my life, I tend to forget to stand firm in my FAITH, and allow HIM to create in me courage with HIS true confidence, to live out my life with HIS GODLY character. Instead of allowing HIM to lead me, I lead myself, and well to be honest, right off a cliff. No matter how hard I "try" to keep it together, and repeat HIS promises over and over, I allow my FAITH to be shaken.
HIS Daily Teachings today is reminding me once again that in the storms in my life, I must choose to stand firm in my FAITH in HIM, and TRUST HIM that HE is going to work everything that is wrong out, and make it for HIS good. HE is telling me that I must NOT let my fear of being shaken over-ride HIS promises for me, as I know, as HE has proven it time and again to me that No matter what happens to me, I know that I am NOT forsaken.
HE is telling me once again that HE sees me, and HE knows how I am going to react, even before the storm comes rolling into my life. HE is wanting me to know that it isn't just through the storms in my life, but through every single situation that I find myself in, HE is there, and HE already knows how I am going to react and what I am going to say. This for me is difficult, as HE is the only ONE WHO knows how long I will be this hott mess when I allow myself to be shaken.
Last night was a perfect example of how I allowed myself to manipulated in my thoughts, and therefore my words were wrong, and I didn't speak according to HIS word. I had once again allowed myself to be shaken. This morning HE is meeting me right where I am, and teaching me that when I seek HIM, and ask HIM to teach me how to speak, HE can, will, and does every single time.
This past Sunday our Pastor delivered a message about how HE is GREATER than our Sundays. Since then I can't stop thinking about this one thing he said, "instead of asking GOD to help you with what you want to do, why don't you tell GOD that you want to be a part of whatever HE is doing." This was like a HUGE punch in the face for me, (one I truly needed) as for so long I have been only focused on myself, that I haven't even thought about what HE is doing in the lives around me, and the lives that I encounter on a daily basis.
HE is wanting me to know that it is time that I see things through HIS vision, so that whenever I encounter someone I will say, "GOD I want to know what you are doing here, and I want to be a part of it. Use me LORD as a living vessel to be YOUR hands and feet, to bring YOUR KINGDOM of HEAVEN here to Earth." HE is telling me that when I choose to live my life this way, it won't matter what storms may brew and roll into my life, or the lives around me. HE is wanting me to know that when I choose to stand firm in my FAITH and seek HIS vision, I will then be able to boldly declare HIS promises, and it is then that I won't be shaken.
HE is reminding me once again that I must choose HIS JOY when I am suffering, as I know that is when HE is teaching me to TRUST HIM with absolutely everything in my life. HE is wanting me to know that when I choose to TRUST HIM, HE sees that, and not only does HE see, HE can, will, and does double my blessings for my trouble.
" But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. “Do not fear their threats ; do not be frightened.” 1 Peter 3:14
"Instead of your shame you will receive a double portion, and instead of disgrace you will rejoice in your inheritance. And so you will inherit a double portion in your land,and everlasting joy will be yours." Isaiah 61:7
This morning I am hearing HIS message loud and clear, that I must choose HIS JOY when I am suffering, and it is when I live with HIS JOY that I know that I won't be shaken. HE is telling me that choosing JOY means that I must choose to sow the right seeds (speak the right words, behave the way HE is wanting me to behave, and live according to HIS will) so that I will then reap an amazing harvest (HIS blessings will overflow in my life, and my life will truly be HIS living testament of HIS goodness, and HIS faithfulness.)
HE is reminding me once again that every single test, trial, and storm in my life has a purpose. HE is teaching me that the purpose is so that I will come to depend on HIM, and HIM alone that no matter what is happening my life, or the lives around me, when the storms roll in I won't be shaken. HE is teaching me that HIS purpose for the storms in my life have been designed to strengthen, grow, to shape, and to mold me into a woman with GODLY character.
So often I forget that things are not always about me, that HE is at work on something much bigger than I could possibly know or see. In knowing this, I know that I must choose to get my mind off of myself, and get my heart and mind aligned to HIS will for my life, that way when I find myself becoming overwhelmed, I won't allow myself to be shaken.
HE is reminding me of the storms in my life where I have allowed myself to be shaken so badly that I have become angry with HIM, instead of pressing into HIM, and seeking HIM, and asking HIM to carry me through the storms. No I, Heather in my stubbornness, and foolish pride, decided to do things my way, and not realizing that my way was allowing Satan the free access to ensure that I would be shaken in my FAITH.
HE is telling me that it is those times that I have allowed myself to be shaken that I have forgotten one the most important things about my FAITH and TRUST in HIM, and that is patience. HE is telling me that when I pray for patience, I must understand that the only way I will ever have patience, is when I am put through a storm, and I press into HIM, and press through HIM to get to the other side of the storm. HE is wanting me to know that my days of going through a storm, and allowing myself to be shaken are NO more. HE is wanting me to really know and understand that by now, I surely after everything, that I have been through, that HE has revealed to me, that "whatever will come my way, through fire or pouring rain, I WON'T BE SHAKEN!"
"I wonder how many times we get a little storm in life, and turn it into a tornado through speaking negatively" Joyce Meyer, "Change Your Words, Change Your Life"
Oh how these words ring true to my ears this morning. HE is showing me that in my past, I have allowed the little storms in my life, to become massive raging storms, when I have allowed myself to be shaken. One of the hardest storms that I remember being shaken was when I got my wires all crossed on how to help someone. Not only did I NOT help them, but I alienated people, and I "tried" to make things go according to my will because after all it was what I wanted. In seeking my will, I allowed myself to be shaken in the worst possible way, and I became extremely vulnerable in my walk with HIM, and allow myself to be taken out of my purpose in life, and as a result other people (my sweet husband and amazing five children) suffered for it.
"That day when evening came, he said to his disciples, “Let us go over to the other side.” Leaving the crowd behind, they took him along, just as he was, in the boat. There were also other boats with him. A furious squall came up, and the waves broke over the boat, so that it was nearly swamped. Jesus was in the stern, sleeping on a cushion. The disciples woke him and said to him, “Teacher, don’t you care if we drown?” He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, “Quiet! Be still!” Then the wind died down and it was completely calm. He said to his disciples, “Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?” They were terrified and asked each other, “Who is this? Even the wind and the waves obey him!”
He is telling me that the when the storms roll into my life, I must choose to stand firm in my FAITH and TRUST HIM that HE will bring me to the other side. HE is wanting me to know that it is during the storms of my life, that I must choose to BE QUIET, and BE STILL, as I know HE is going to work out everything for my own good. HE is telling me that I must NOT allow myself to be shaken because of my fear of the storm, rather I must choose to seek HIM, and ask HIM to create in me a strong heart, that is overflowing with FAITH in HIM, that HE can, will, and does love and know me best and that HE would NEVER do anything to hurt, but to help me, and build me strong, so that I would be able to encourage other to seek HIM so that they too won't be shaken in the storms of their lives.
Dear Friends, I pray today that you will know that no matter what you may be going through, what your troubles are, HE is there. I pray that you will feel HIS presence and know that HE already has your problems worked out for your own good. I pray that you will know that whatever comes your way, through fire or pouring rain, you won't be shaken, as HE is creating you HIS true confidence as you choose to stand firm in your FAITH that HE can, and will work everything out for your own good. I pray today that you will have the courage to seek HIM, and ask HIM to teach, lead, and guide you through the storm, so that you too won't be shaken.
With much love, prayers, understanding, and compassion,
Heather
Wednesday, June 18, 2014
refuse to settle
Before I even started my bible study this morning, I began to think about what has brought me to this very moment of where I am in my walk on this journey towards wholeness with HIM. In looking back just over the past few months my family has been dealt some pretty harsh blows. Thinking about it all now, I am so incredibly grateful for HIS Daily Teachings that have been creating in me a powerful mindset of, I, Heather refuse to settle for anything less than HIS absolute best for my life!
It is absolutely NO surprise to me that HIS Daily Teachings would be about how I must remember to refuse to settle for anything less that HIS absolute best for my life. HE is showing me how through each trial, test, and storm HE has been, is, and will continue to strengthen and grow my FAITH in HIM so that I will be more than able to stand firm when the storms rage in my life. HE is wanting me to know that this is why I must surrender my life to HIM, and dedicate my life daily to HIM, to teach, lead, and guide me every single moment of my life.
HE is telling me that I must not let my fear of suffering and being uncomfortable keep me from pressing on and pressing through the hard stuff in my life. HE is showing me that in my past I have let my fears completely throw me off track, and in turn I have made a HUGE mess out of the circumstances of my life, and have wrecked many of my relationships with others. HE is wanting me to know that it was NEVER HIS intention for me to stay in this mindset, and this is why HE has captured my heart once again to show me that without HIM I truly can't do anything. HE is letting me know that this is why I must align my heart and mind to HIS will by saying, "I, Heather, refuse absolutely REFUSE to settle for anything less than GOD's absolute best for my life!"
HE is wanting me to know that HE doesn't want me to just give up and settle half-way through the blessings that HE is wanting to pour over my life. HE is telling me that it has always been HIS intention for me to receive HIS full blessings in my life. HE is teaching me that I must refrain from saying, "this is too hard, I've been through too much, when will it end?" Rather, I must begin to say, "this situation is hard, however GOD's got this, HE has it all worked out for my best already, I must remember to stand firm in my FAITH and speak HIS words about WHO HE IS, WHAT HE's DONE, and WHAT HE WILL DO for me, as my life is a living testament to HIS FAITHFULNESS and GOODNESS!"
HE is telling me that HIS plan for my life has, been, and will always be for me to go all the way through my journey with HIM. HE is wanting me to know that HE will always be with me, and HE will NEVER forsake me. HE will always carry me through the storms of my life, and HE will always take my burdens off of me when I seek HIM. HE is telling me that HE will always be there, and HE delights in me when I say that I refuse to settle for anything than HIS absolute best for my life!
Once again HE is wanting me to know that it has always been HIS plan that I would write HIS Daily Teachings, as HIS vessel of encouragement to reach the lost, broken, lonely, and hopeless. I am learning daily that I am able to write HIS Daily Teachings, because I have made up my mind that I refuse to settle for anything less than HIS absolute best for my life. HE is wanting me to know that anything means no matter how hard, humiliating, stressful, absolutely anything less than HIS best for my life is ALL part of HIS beautiful message of hope that HE is using me to reach the masses of hopeless, broken, lost and lonely souls.
For this reason I will continue to seek HIM daily and wait patiently for HIM to teach, lead, and guide me, so that I will know what it is that I am needing to know in order to live my life according to HIS will. NOT only will I seek HIS words, but I will meditate on HIS Daily Teachings, and I will put them into play into my life. It has been through HIS amazing grace that I have been able to wake each morning feeling blessed to be living this life that has been written specifically, perfectly, on purpose for HIS purpose for me.
HE is wanting me to know that when I refuse to settle for anything less, I must understand that HIS growing and strengthening of my FAITH in HIM won't happen over night. Rather it is a daily process a slow process, as well I've mentioned before I am a slow learner. HE is telling me that this is why that in my daily walk I encounter trail after trial, test after test, and storm after storm. HE is wanting me to know that each and every trial, test, and storm isn't so that I will break and crumble, but rather so that I will be able to put to use HIS words, and be able to stand firm with unwavering FAITH in HIM, to know that no matter what is happening in my life, HE's got it all, in HIS hands, and HE will work it all out for my own good.
HE is reminding me once again that HE paid the ultimate price for my life. Therefore, HE is now asking me to pay the price in fully surrendering to HIM by seeking HIM daily to set a fire down in my soul that craves and desires more of HIM. HE is telling me that the purpose of this fire is so that a great desire will grow deep within my heart to seek HIM daily, and ask HIM to teach, lead, and guide me, and putting to use HIS Daily Teachings, by refusing to settle for anything than HIS absolute best for my life.
I absolutely love HIS word that has been HIS gift to me this morning through The Message Bible ~
"But the seed planted in the good earth represents those who hear the Word, embrace it, and produce a harvest beyond their wildest dreams.” Mark 4:20 The Message Bible
Through HIS word this morning HE is teaching me that HE won't give me anything more than what I am mature enough to handle. This for me includes, HIS blessings, and HIS favor. This is hard for me, as it is making me really examine and admit to where I am falling completely short of HIS GLORY. Through my tears HE is replaying the events of yesterday in my mind, and showing me how I have failed to mature in my walk with HIM in regards to my health.
Yesterday I was just laying around with my children watching movies, eating junk food, and really just completely ignoring HIS HOLY SPIRIT's promptings that I needed to stop eating junk food, and drinking iced coffee and soda. However, in my selfishness, and my desire to do what I wanted to do, not only did I refuse to hear HIS whispers, I refused to heed HIS whispers. Not long after I heard the final whisper I fell asleep, and was awoken within minutes of a horrible burning pain. I felt like I was on fire, and my chest was expanding, and it was then that I knew this was the warning HE was talking about. For 45 min, I cried out in pain, and begged HIM for relief. I pleaded that I would listen, that I would take better care of myself, and my health, and through each prayer the pain deepened. My children ended up calling D and he came home from work. This for me was awful, as I had caused this, and now D was missing work. By the time D got home the pain had finally diminished, and I was left in its dust. Completely and utterly spent, cried, out, and embarrassed.
"Mature Christians are the ones who hear the Word and receive and accept and welcome it and.... who bear fruit" Joyce Meyer "Change Your Words, Change Your Life"
HE is wanting me to know that without even realizing it I am able to bear fruit through my children. HE is showing me that yesterday when I had my painful acid reflux attack for 45 min my youngest daughter and oldest son held each of my hands, and rubbed my back. It was with tears in their eyes that they both boldly with HIS true confidence prayed out loud for their Mama. They both chose to stand firm in their FAITH in HIM that HE would heal their Mama. For 45 min my little prayer warriors stormed the gates of HEAVEN on my behalf, and HE is wanting me to know that they didn't just learn that from nothing, they were modeled that, and it has been through me that they have learned that their HEAVENLY FATHER loves them, and cares for them, and that HE truly does hear each and everyone one of our cries, and HE does answer every single prayer. They also got to see that our prayers are answered in HIS timing, and NOT our own.
If that wasn't enough to make my Mama heart burst, later that night our youngest son fell and hit his head. Immediately he was placed in my arms, and I placed my hand on his head and began to pray. It was then that my other son came up to his brother and placed his little hand on his head, and with tears in his eyes he prayed to our HEAVENLY FATHER to please heal his little brother. Thinking about yesterday's events brings tears of JOY and HAPPINESS to my eyes and heart, in knowing that it is all because I model a prayer warrior for my children, and show them daily that HE really does love us, and HE cares for us, that we must seek HIM, and I know that it is all because I have held onto the mindset that I refuse to settle for anything than HIS absolute best for my life!
HE is wanting me to know that HIS Daily Teachings is another way that I am bearing fruit, and that is by my seeking HIM to create in me a heart and mindset daily that says, "I, Heather REFUSE, ABSOLUTELY REFUSE TO SETTLE!!!!!" HE is teaching me that this is why HE has me write about my struggles and share my story by choosing to speak HIS words about HIS truth as to what has happened in my life, how HE has, is, and will continue to redeem me from my hurt and pain. HE is letting me know that when I seek HIM He will continue to give me the strength to be used as HIS vessel of encouragement to reach the masses to tell them how my life was saved by HIS amazing grace, and how HIS love is truly unending, unfailing, and totally relentless. It is because of HIS grace and HIS love, I know that I am called to be relentless in my FAITH. I must choose to stand firm and live my life refusing to settle!
Dear Friends, I pray today that you will feel HIS presence, and know that HE is there. I pray that you will seek HIM, and that you will have the courage to speak HIS words so that you too will overcome the hurt and pain in your life. I pray today that you will seek HIM to mature your FAITH in HIM, and that you too will ask HIM to create in you the mindset that you refuse to settle for anything than HIS absolute best for your life. I pray that when you start living with this mindset that HIS favor and HIS blessings will be poured over your life.
Blessings,
Heather
It is absolutely NO surprise to me that HIS Daily Teachings would be about how I must remember to refuse to settle for anything less that HIS absolute best for my life. HE is showing me how through each trial, test, and storm HE has been, is, and will continue to strengthen and grow my FAITH in HIM so that I will be more than able to stand firm when the storms rage in my life. HE is wanting me to know that this is why I must surrender my life to HIM, and dedicate my life daily to HIM, to teach, lead, and guide me every single moment of my life.
HE is telling me that I must not let my fear of suffering and being uncomfortable keep me from pressing on and pressing through the hard stuff in my life. HE is showing me that in my past I have let my fears completely throw me off track, and in turn I have made a HUGE mess out of the circumstances of my life, and have wrecked many of my relationships with others. HE is wanting me to know that it was NEVER HIS intention for me to stay in this mindset, and this is why HE has captured my heart once again to show me that without HIM I truly can't do anything. HE is letting me know that this is why I must align my heart and mind to HIS will by saying, "I, Heather, refuse absolutely REFUSE to settle for anything less than GOD's absolute best for my life!"
HE is wanting me to know that HE doesn't want me to just give up and settle half-way through the blessings that HE is wanting to pour over my life. HE is telling me that it has always been HIS intention for me to receive HIS full blessings in my life. HE is teaching me that I must refrain from saying, "this is too hard, I've been through too much, when will it end?" Rather, I must begin to say, "this situation is hard, however GOD's got this, HE has it all worked out for my best already, I must remember to stand firm in my FAITH and speak HIS words about WHO HE IS, WHAT HE's DONE, and WHAT HE WILL DO for me, as my life is a living testament to HIS FAITHFULNESS and GOODNESS!"
HE is telling me that HIS plan for my life has, been, and will always be for me to go all the way through my journey with HIM. HE is wanting me to know that HE will always be with me, and HE will NEVER forsake me. HE will always carry me through the storms of my life, and HE will always take my burdens off of me when I seek HIM. HE is telling me that HE will always be there, and HE delights in me when I say that I refuse to settle for anything than HIS absolute best for my life!
Once again HE is wanting me to know that it has always been HIS plan that I would write HIS Daily Teachings, as HIS vessel of encouragement to reach the lost, broken, lonely, and hopeless. I am learning daily that I am able to write HIS Daily Teachings, because I have made up my mind that I refuse to settle for anything less than HIS absolute best for my life. HE is wanting me to know that anything means no matter how hard, humiliating, stressful, absolutely anything less than HIS best for my life is ALL part of HIS beautiful message of hope that HE is using me to reach the masses of hopeless, broken, lost and lonely souls.
For this reason I will continue to seek HIM daily and wait patiently for HIM to teach, lead, and guide me, so that I will know what it is that I am needing to know in order to live my life according to HIS will. NOT only will I seek HIS words, but I will meditate on HIS Daily Teachings, and I will put them into play into my life. It has been through HIS amazing grace that I have been able to wake each morning feeling blessed to be living this life that has been written specifically, perfectly, on purpose for HIS purpose for me.
HE is wanting me to know that when I refuse to settle for anything less, I must understand that HIS growing and strengthening of my FAITH in HIM won't happen over night. Rather it is a daily process a slow process, as well I've mentioned before I am a slow learner. HE is telling me that this is why that in my daily walk I encounter trail after trial, test after test, and storm after storm. HE is wanting me to know that each and every trial, test, and storm isn't so that I will break and crumble, but rather so that I will be able to put to use HIS words, and be able to stand firm with unwavering FAITH in HIM, to know that no matter what is happening in my life, HE's got it all, in HIS hands, and HE will work it all out for my own good.
HE is reminding me once again that HE paid the ultimate price for my life. Therefore, HE is now asking me to pay the price in fully surrendering to HIM by seeking HIM daily to set a fire down in my soul that craves and desires more of HIM. HE is telling me that the purpose of this fire is so that a great desire will grow deep within my heart to seek HIM daily, and ask HIM to teach, lead, and guide me, and putting to use HIS Daily Teachings, by refusing to settle for anything than HIS absolute best for my life.
I absolutely love HIS word that has been HIS gift to me this morning through The Message Bible ~
"But the seed planted in the good earth represents those who hear the Word, embrace it, and produce a harvest beyond their wildest dreams.” Mark 4:20 The Message Bible
Through HIS word this morning HE is teaching me that HE won't give me anything more than what I am mature enough to handle. This for me includes, HIS blessings, and HIS favor. This is hard for me, as it is making me really examine and admit to where I am falling completely short of HIS GLORY. Through my tears HE is replaying the events of yesterday in my mind, and showing me how I have failed to mature in my walk with HIM in regards to my health.
Yesterday I was just laying around with my children watching movies, eating junk food, and really just completely ignoring HIS HOLY SPIRIT's promptings that I needed to stop eating junk food, and drinking iced coffee and soda. However, in my selfishness, and my desire to do what I wanted to do, not only did I refuse to hear HIS whispers, I refused to heed HIS whispers. Not long after I heard the final whisper I fell asleep, and was awoken within minutes of a horrible burning pain. I felt like I was on fire, and my chest was expanding, and it was then that I knew this was the warning HE was talking about. For 45 min, I cried out in pain, and begged HIM for relief. I pleaded that I would listen, that I would take better care of myself, and my health, and through each prayer the pain deepened. My children ended up calling D and he came home from work. This for me was awful, as I had caused this, and now D was missing work. By the time D got home the pain had finally diminished, and I was left in its dust. Completely and utterly spent, cried, out, and embarrassed.
"Mature Christians are the ones who hear the Word and receive and accept and welcome it and.... who bear fruit" Joyce Meyer "Change Your Words, Change Your Life"
HE is wanting me to know that without even realizing it I am able to bear fruit through my children. HE is showing me that yesterday when I had my painful acid reflux attack for 45 min my youngest daughter and oldest son held each of my hands, and rubbed my back. It was with tears in their eyes that they both boldly with HIS true confidence prayed out loud for their Mama. They both chose to stand firm in their FAITH in HIM that HE would heal their Mama. For 45 min my little prayer warriors stormed the gates of HEAVEN on my behalf, and HE is wanting me to know that they didn't just learn that from nothing, they were modeled that, and it has been through me that they have learned that their HEAVENLY FATHER loves them, and cares for them, and that HE truly does hear each and everyone one of our cries, and HE does answer every single prayer. They also got to see that our prayers are answered in HIS timing, and NOT our own.
If that wasn't enough to make my Mama heart burst, later that night our youngest son fell and hit his head. Immediately he was placed in my arms, and I placed my hand on his head and began to pray. It was then that my other son came up to his brother and placed his little hand on his head, and with tears in his eyes he prayed to our HEAVENLY FATHER to please heal his little brother. Thinking about yesterday's events brings tears of JOY and HAPPINESS to my eyes and heart, in knowing that it is all because I model a prayer warrior for my children, and show them daily that HE really does love us, and HE cares for us, that we must seek HIM, and I know that it is all because I have held onto the mindset that I refuse to settle for anything than HIS absolute best for my life!
HE is wanting me to know that HIS Daily Teachings is another way that I am bearing fruit, and that is by my seeking HIM to create in me a heart and mindset daily that says, "I, Heather REFUSE, ABSOLUTELY REFUSE TO SETTLE!!!!!" HE is teaching me that this is why HE has me write about my struggles and share my story by choosing to speak HIS words about HIS truth as to what has happened in my life, how HE has, is, and will continue to redeem me from my hurt and pain. HE is letting me know that when I seek HIM He will continue to give me the strength to be used as HIS vessel of encouragement to reach the masses to tell them how my life was saved by HIS amazing grace, and how HIS love is truly unending, unfailing, and totally relentless. It is because of HIS grace and HIS love, I know that I am called to be relentless in my FAITH. I must choose to stand firm and live my life refusing to settle!
Dear Friends, I pray today that you will feel HIS presence, and know that HE is there. I pray that you will seek HIM, and that you will have the courage to speak HIS words so that you too will overcome the hurt and pain in your life. I pray today that you will seek HIM to mature your FAITH in HIM, and that you too will ask HIM to create in you the mindset that you refuse to settle for anything than HIS absolute best for your life. I pray that when you start living with this mindset that HIS favor and HIS blessings will be poured over your life.
Blessings,
Heather
Tuesday, June 17, 2014
mature
Every morning I wake up with the anticipation of what HE is going to be speaking to me about. I wish I could say that for the past 11 years of my life that this were the case. Sadly, it is NOT, and honestly it didn't become a part of my life until a year ago when I finally decided to truly follow HIM, and NOT look back.
HIS Daily Teachings today is showing me what it means for me to be a mature CHRISTIAN. HE is wanting me to know that in order for me to live as a mature CHRISTIAN, I must first seek HIS kingdom, and all will be revealed to me so that I will be able to live my life according to HIS will.
HE has given me sort of a checklist this morning to follow to show me what being mature means for me.
~ Being mature means I must act like JESUS, NOT just "act" like I know HIM
~ Being mature means I must seek HIM to know and study all of HIS word, NOT just repeat HIS word
~ Being mature means I must choose to study HIS word, daily so that I will be able to live my life according to HIS plans, HIS purpose, and HIS will for my life.
~ Being mature means that I must choose to seek HIM, and allow HIM to teach, lead, and guide me in everything I do
~ Being mature means that NOT only must I seek HIM, but I must choose to let go of my foolish "thinking" that I have it all figured out
~ Being mature means that I must trust HIM that HIS timing, and HIS provision are perfect
~ Being mature means that I must choose to be patient while I am waiting through HIS timing, and HIS provision
"to keep this command without spot or blame until the appearing of our Lord Jesus Christ, which God will bring about in his own time—God, the blessed and only Ruler, the King of kings and Lord of lords" 1 Timothy 6:14-15
~ Being mature means that while practicing being patient, I will follow HIS commands so that I will be able to live my life according to HIS will
"Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ,through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us." Romans 5:1-5
~ Being mature means that I must choose to let go of my thinking, speaking, and acting UNGODLY
~ Being mature means that I must choose to let go of my foolish and selfish ways
~ Being mature means that I must understand that NOT everything is about me
~ Being mature means that I must understand that I am HIS vessel to reach others through my story which is HIS message of HOPE
~ Being mature means that I must choose to let go of my incessant need to talk about myself
~ Being mature means that I must seek HIM and speak ONLY HIS words
"If anyone speaks, they should do so as one who speaks the very words of God." 1 Peter 4:11
~ Being mature means letting go of my childish ways, whenever things don't go "my way"
" Brothers and sisters, stop thinking like children. In regard to evil be infants, but in your thinking be adults." 1 Corinthians 14:20
~ Being mature means I must choose to speak lovingly and kind to others
~ Being mature means I must NOT tear other people down with my words, in "thinking" that it is ever my place to set them straight
~ Being mature means that I let go of "thinking" that I have someone else's problems all figured out, that I trust HIM, and know that HE is the only who does have them all figured out
~ Being mature means that in everything I do needs to be for HIS glory, and NOT my own
" If anyone serves, they should do so with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen." 1 Peter 4:11
~ Being mature means that I won't just do things for my benefit, rather because I want and desire to be in right standing with HIM
~ Being mature means that I will want to help HIM do things, NOT just have HIM help me do things
~ Being mature means that in helping HIM do things, I will know and understand that is when I will be answering HIS calling for my life
~ Being mature means my behavior is pleasing, and honoring to HIM
~ Being mature means that I will be filled by HIS peace, and HIS true JOY when I choose to align my thoughts, words, and actions to HIS will for my life
"Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ" Romans 5:1
~ Being mature means all of my guilt, shame, and insecurity will be washed away through HIS love, HIS grace, and HIS mercy
~ Being mature means that I won't hold on to those burdens that Satan "tries" daily to get me to pick back up
~ Being mature means knowing and understanding that I can cast ALL of my fears onto HIM
"Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you;he will never let the righteous be shaken." Psalm 55:22
~ Being mature means that I know that HE truly does love and care for me, as HE has proven HIMSELF time and again to me
~ Being mature means that I will know that my worth is found only in HIM
~ Being mature means letting go of my need to please others
~ Being mature means that the only one I need to please is HIM as HE truly does know what is best for me
~ Being mature means knowing, and understand what it means to be truly set apart
"Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will." Romans 12:1-2
~ Being mature means choosing daily to pick up my cross and follow HIM so that I will be answering HIS calling for my life
"Then he said to them all: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me." Luke 9:23
~ Being mature means knowing and understanding the power in my words that can either speak life or speak death into others
"The tongue has the power of life and death,and those who love it will eat its fruit." Proverbs 18:21
~ Being mature means I must choose to dedicate my life to HIM by choosing to NOT speak negatively about anyone or anything
" Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths,but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen" Ephesians 4:29
~ Being mature means I must choose to let go of my whining and complaining ways
"Do everything without grumbling or arguing" Philippians 2:14
~ Being mature means that I must choose to run as far away as I can get from gossip being told to me, or participating by gossiping by choosing to speak HIS words, HIS truth about gossip
"A perverse person stirs up conflict,and a gossip separates close friends." Proverbs 16:28
"Those who guard their mouths and their tongues keep themselves from calamity." Proverbs 21:23
"A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid anyone who talks too much." Proverbs 20:19
~ Being mature means I must choose to let go of my opinionated ways as clearly I do NOT know everything
~ Being mature means I must keep my mind focused on thinking, speaking, and doing what HE is telling me to do, NOT what the world is telling me to do
~ Being mature means keeping my nose out of someone else's relationship with HIM
~ Being mature means letting go of my incessant need to help others, when it isn't my place nor my calling to help them in the first place
~ Being mature means that NOT every thought that I have must come to fruition and out of my mouth
~ Being mature means I must choose to let go of my judgemental attitude that goes strictly against HIS word
~ Being mature means that I will see others as HE sees them, therefore I will value them as HE values them
~ Being mature means that I will no longer live with comparison, competitive, jealous, or an envious nature
~ Being mature means that in every area of my life I will strive to be more CHRIST LIKE
~ Being mature means that each day that I am being given to live my life, I will desire to grow and be strengthened in my FAITH in HIM
"GOD has not given us HIS amazing HOLY SPIRIT for common and ordinary living" Joyce Meyer "Change Your Words, Change Your Life"
~ Being mature means that know and understand that it is impossible to serve two masters ~ In CHRIST and CHRIST alone is WHO I am to serve
"No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other." Matthew 6:24
HE is really pressing into me today HIS truth about the dangers of gossiping, and allow other's to gossip to me. Never before have I understood exactly what HIS words says about unwholesome talk, slander, and gossiping. Today I am choosing to seek HIS kingdom first so that in everything I think, say, or do will be pleasing and honoring to HIM. Today I am understanding even more about what being mature means for me.
"We serve a great and amazing GOD -- HE wants us to be transformed into HIS image" Joyce Meyer "Change Your Words, Change Your Life"
HE is reminding me once again that because I know I was made in HIS image for HIS purpose I must choose to dedicate my life to live according to HIS plans, and HIS will for my life. HE is letting me know that when I choose to dedicate my life daily to HIM that is how I know that I am being a mature CHRISTIAN.
My Dear Friends, I pray today that you will have the courage to seek HIS kingdom first in your life, so that you will know that HE truly does love and care for you the most. I pray that you will be able to say NO to what the world is telling you to do, so that HE will be able to grow and strengthen your FAITH in HIM. I pray that through each trial, test, and storm you will become more mature in your FAITH. I pray that you will be able to feel HIS presence and know of HIS goodness and mercy which are being poured over your life each time that you choose to dedicate to live your life according to HIS will. Friends, I pray for HIS many blessings and favor to be poured over you today when you choose to seek HIM, and ask HIM to teach, lead, and guide you through your transformations and breakthroughs.
Blessings,
Heather
HIS Daily Teachings today is showing me what it means for me to be a mature CHRISTIAN. HE is wanting me to know that in order for me to live as a mature CHRISTIAN, I must first seek HIS kingdom, and all will be revealed to me so that I will be able to live my life according to HIS will.
HE has given me sort of a checklist this morning to follow to show me what being mature means for me.
~ Being mature means I must act like JESUS, NOT just "act" like I know HIM
~ Being mature means I must seek HIM to know and study all of HIS word, NOT just repeat HIS word
~ Being mature means I must choose to study HIS word, daily so that I will be able to live my life according to HIS plans, HIS purpose, and HIS will for my life.
~ Being mature means that I must choose to seek HIM, and allow HIM to teach, lead, and guide me in everything I do
~ Being mature means that NOT only must I seek HIM, but I must choose to let go of my foolish "thinking" that I have it all figured out
~ Being mature means that I must trust HIM that HIS timing, and HIS provision are perfect
~ Being mature means that I must choose to be patient while I am waiting through HIS timing, and HIS provision
"to keep this command without spot or blame until the appearing of our Lord Jesus Christ, which God will bring about in his own time—God, the blessed and only Ruler, the King of kings and Lord of lords" 1 Timothy 6:14-15
~ Being mature means that while practicing being patient, I will follow HIS commands so that I will be able to live my life according to HIS will
"Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ,through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us." Romans 5:1-5
~ Being mature means that I must choose to let go of my thinking, speaking, and acting UNGODLY
~ Being mature means that I must choose to let go of my foolish and selfish ways
~ Being mature means that I must understand that NOT everything is about me
~ Being mature means that I must understand that I am HIS vessel to reach others through my story which is HIS message of HOPE
~ Being mature means that I must choose to let go of my incessant need to talk about myself
~ Being mature means that I must seek HIM and speak ONLY HIS words
"If anyone speaks, they should do so as one who speaks the very words of God." 1 Peter 4:11
~ Being mature means letting go of my childish ways, whenever things don't go "my way"
" Brothers and sisters, stop thinking like children. In regard to evil be infants, but in your thinking be adults." 1 Corinthians 14:20
~ Being mature means I must choose to speak lovingly and kind to others
~ Being mature means I must NOT tear other people down with my words, in "thinking" that it is ever my place to set them straight
~ Being mature means that I let go of "thinking" that I have someone else's problems all figured out, that I trust HIM, and know that HE is the only who does have them all figured out
~ Being mature means that in everything I do needs to be for HIS glory, and NOT my own
" If anyone serves, they should do so with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen." 1 Peter 4:11
~ Being mature means that I won't just do things for my benefit, rather because I want and desire to be in right standing with HIM
~ Being mature means that I will want to help HIM do things, NOT just have HIM help me do things
~ Being mature means that in helping HIM do things, I will know and understand that is when I will be answering HIS calling for my life
~ Being mature means my behavior is pleasing, and honoring to HIM
~ Being mature means that I will be filled by HIS peace, and HIS true JOY when I choose to align my thoughts, words, and actions to HIS will for my life
"Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ" Romans 5:1
~ Being mature means all of my guilt, shame, and insecurity will be washed away through HIS love, HIS grace, and HIS mercy
~ Being mature means that I won't hold on to those burdens that Satan "tries" daily to get me to pick back up
~ Being mature means knowing and understanding that I can cast ALL of my fears onto HIM
"Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you;he will never let the righteous be shaken." Psalm 55:22
~ Being mature means that I know that HE truly does love and care for me, as HE has proven HIMSELF time and again to me
~ Being mature means that I will know that my worth is found only in HIM
~ Being mature means letting go of my need to please others
~ Being mature means that the only one I need to please is HIM as HE truly does know what is best for me
~ Being mature means knowing, and understand what it means to be truly set apart
"Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will." Romans 12:1-2
~ Being mature means choosing daily to pick up my cross and follow HIM so that I will be answering HIS calling for my life
"Then he said to them all: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me." Luke 9:23
~ Being mature means knowing and understanding the power in my words that can either speak life or speak death into others
"The tongue has the power of life and death,and those who love it will eat its fruit." Proverbs 18:21
~ Being mature means I must choose to dedicate my life to HIM by choosing to NOT speak negatively about anyone or anything
" Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths,but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen" Ephesians 4:29
~ Being mature means I must choose to let go of my whining and complaining ways
"Do everything without grumbling or arguing" Philippians 2:14
~ Being mature means that I must choose to run as far away as I can get from gossip being told to me, or participating by gossiping by choosing to speak HIS words, HIS truth about gossip
"A perverse person stirs up conflict,and a gossip separates close friends." Proverbs 16:28
"Those who guard their mouths and their tongues keep themselves from calamity." Proverbs 21:23
"A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid anyone who talks too much." Proverbs 20:19
~ Being mature means I must choose to let go of my opinionated ways as clearly I do NOT know everything
~ Being mature means I must keep my mind focused on thinking, speaking, and doing what HE is telling me to do, NOT what the world is telling me to do
~ Being mature means keeping my nose out of someone else's relationship with HIM
~ Being mature means letting go of my incessant need to help others, when it isn't my place nor my calling to help them in the first place
~ Being mature means that NOT every thought that I have must come to fruition and out of my mouth
~ Being mature means I must choose to let go of my judgemental attitude that goes strictly against HIS word
~ Being mature means that I will see others as HE sees them, therefore I will value them as HE values them
~ Being mature means that I will no longer live with comparison, competitive, jealous, or an envious nature
~ Being mature means that in every area of my life I will strive to be more CHRIST LIKE
~ Being mature means that each day that I am being given to live my life, I will desire to grow and be strengthened in my FAITH in HIM
"GOD has not given us HIS amazing HOLY SPIRIT for common and ordinary living" Joyce Meyer "Change Your Words, Change Your Life"
~ Being mature means that know and understand that it is impossible to serve two masters ~ In CHRIST and CHRIST alone is WHO I am to serve
"No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other." Matthew 6:24
HE is really pressing into me today HIS truth about the dangers of gossiping, and allow other's to gossip to me. Never before have I understood exactly what HIS words says about unwholesome talk, slander, and gossiping. Today I am choosing to seek HIS kingdom first so that in everything I think, say, or do will be pleasing and honoring to HIM. Today I am understanding even more about what being mature means for me.
"We serve a great and amazing GOD -- HE wants us to be transformed into HIS image" Joyce Meyer "Change Your Words, Change Your Life"
HE is reminding me once again that because I know I was made in HIS image for HIS purpose I must choose to dedicate my life to live according to HIS plans, and HIS will for my life. HE is letting me know that when I choose to dedicate my life daily to HIM that is how I know that I am being a mature CHRISTIAN.
My Dear Friends, I pray today that you will have the courage to seek HIS kingdom first in your life, so that you will know that HE truly does love and care for you the most. I pray that you will be able to say NO to what the world is telling you to do, so that HE will be able to grow and strengthen your FAITH in HIM. I pray that through each trial, test, and storm you will become more mature in your FAITH. I pray that you will be able to feel HIS presence and know of HIS goodness and mercy which are being poured over your life each time that you choose to dedicate to live your life according to HIS will. Friends, I pray for HIS many blessings and favor to be poured over you today when you choose to seek HIM, and ask HIM to teach, lead, and guide you through your transformations and breakthroughs.
Blessings,
Heather
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