disarm

Oh the humor  of my circumstances in typing today's blog.  This morning before I could even attempt to write today's blog, I had to un-install Google Chrome on my computer, and re-install it.  I attempted to just type it on Internet explorer, however that wouldn't work, so it took a total of 54 minutes of sitting and waiting for my computer to un-install and re-install.  What normally would have set me off, really made me smile, and choose HIS JOY as I knew that this was what HIS Daily Teachings is all about this morning.

HE is wanting me to know and understand the importance of being able to disarm the fuse to my explosive anger.  In the past with computer problems, I would have had a few choice words for my computer, and would have taken my frustration and anger out on D.  Truthfully I think D was sitting in our office with me waiting to see if this would set me off. 

Today I am so incredibly thankful that HE is teaching me the importance of being able to disarm the fuse that Satan is constantly placing matches within my reach to strike and ignite my explosive anger.  In the past my anger has destroyed many relationships, and has ruined my reputation.  Hi, I'm not sure if we've met or not, but I'm Heather and I am my families black sheep.

Growing up my anger, and temper were out of control.  This morning HE is taking me back to a time where all I did was get angry, and strike and ignite that fuse to my explosive anger.  HE is showing me that I learned to do this by watching the people who raised me do the exact same thing.  I was raised that when something made you mad, it was okay to express your feelings in that manner.  Whether that meant screaming, or throwing things, and or insults, whatever you wanted to do it was perfectly acceptable to do all of those things. 

Now imagine my surprise that when I met D, he was the exact opposite of me.  In fact when we would disagree, I would put on my boxing gloves and be ready to FIGHT!  D on the other hand, would want to talk about things rationally, and until I was willing to be calm and rational, he didn't want to talk at all.  Imagine my frustration, that D wouldn't engage me during a fight, but rather retreat.  

This is one of the most infuriating, and now greatest qualities that I see and know of my husband D.  I am thankful that GOD knew me well enough that I couldn't possibly remain married to someone for almost 16  years now that would also strike the match to his explosive anger.  HE wouldn't let me be married to someone who would help me sabotage our marriage in each encounter that we would have.  

When people say opposites do attract, I look at it this way, D and I are total opposites.  GOD surely has a sense of humor for when HE paired the two of us together.  While I am short fused(short-tempered), mouthy, know it-all, D is a long fused, logical, great listener.  However, when his patience has been tested enough times over the same subject, he too is set off.  HE is teaching me that everyone has their limits, and I know that HE is using D to show me how I look when I allow myself to be set off.   

This morning HE is wanting me to understand that this is why D has been equipped to disarm the fuse to my anger, in helping me see that nothing good will come from my just blowing up and screaming obscenities whenever things don't go my way.  I am thankful that HE has placed people in my life to show me where I have fallen short in controlling my anger.

Once again HE is taking me back to the basics and telling me that in order to disarm the fuse to my explosive anger I must first remember to take all of my thoughts captive.  HE is telling me that I must choose to be obedient, and do what HE tells me to do, I must discipline myself by allowing myself to be lead by HIS HOLY SPIRIT and NOT be "feelings lead." 

"We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." 2 Corinthians 10:5

This morning HE is showing me once again that what it looks like when I choose to disarm the fuse to my explosive anger.  HE is wanting me to know that in choosing to disarm, that is when I know that I will be truly living my life according to HIS will.  HE is telling me that HE knows that it is my heart's cry to be obedient to HIM, and HE is telling me that the first step in obedience is to always choose to take all of my thoughts captive.

" No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it."  Hebrews 12:11

HE is teaching me that if I fail at being able to endure the small stuff, such as my children dismantling our home, people pulling out in front of me while driving, rude people, long lines, etc,  then  whenever the big stuff happens, such as death in a the family, the storms that brew in my life that are full of conflict, someone in my family (the grief that comes with it) or friends being hurt or sick, whatever it may be, if I don't learn to how to navigate and disarm the fuse to my explosive anger when it's the small stuff, there is NO WAY that I will be able to endure the big stuff.  

HE is telling me that in order to endure, I must first toughen up!  HE is telling me that this means I must stop complaining when things in life are annoying me, or being a nuisance to me.  I must learn to manage things with a smile on my face, and HIS pure JOY in my heart, and keeping peace within as I know that HE has it all worked out for my own good, and even where and when I have fallen short or have become weak, HE will make things right, and HE is my strength when I am weak.  

HE is wanting me to know that choosing JOY means that I must choose to praise HIM in all circumstances in my life, as I know that it is through the tests and trials of my life that HE is creating in me a heart of endurance.  HE is telling me that everything that I  have ever been through has lead up to this moment, this current storm that my family is in.  This storm that Satan is hoping and planning to wipe us all out in.  However, HE has captured my heart, and my attention, and I am a warrior in HIS army, and I will speak HIS truth, and I will fight for my family, by living HIS truth, and speaking HIS truth, and shouting it, screaming it, and telling it to anyone who hears that HE is GOD, and HE is good ALL of the time!

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance." James 1:2-3

This morning HE is taking me back and showing me that in the times where my world has been rocked, that is where HE has done HIS greatest work in me.  Therefore, I must choose to praise HIM for HIS faithfulness, for continuing to grow and strengthen my faith in HIM.  I must choose to have an attitude for gratitude, that everything that happens in my life, and my families lives is for us, and NOT to us.  

Today I am thankful that HE is teaching me that managing my explosive anger means that I must choose to disarm the fuse that is inside of me, and threatens to blow up everything that HE has been doing, is doing, and will continue to do.  I must choose to trust HIM completely with everything, and know that even though I may NOT see what is really going on, HE knows, HE knows, and HE cares, and HE loves me more than I could possibly imagine.  I am learning that just as HE loves me, HE loves my family, and HIS promises to me, aren't just for me, but they are for everyone.

I am learning that each of HIS Daily Teachings aren't just for me, and are NOT just about me, rather they are about how HE wants to use me to do HIS work through me, for other people.  HE is telling me that the reason for typing this blog, isn't just for accountability for me, but rather so that other's will identify with my struggles, and they too will allow HIM to transform and renew their hearts.  More than ever I am learning that my hot mess of a life, was designed perfectly to be HIS beautiful message of HOPE, that HE is there, HE cares, HE loves each and everyone of us  more than we could possibly fathom.  That no matter how far we may have gone, or what we may have done, we can always turn our lives over to HIM, and allow HIM to teach, lead, and guide on through each and every step of our journey towards wholeness with HIM.

I am comforted in  knowing that even JESUS was tempted, and HE knows what I am going through, and knows of the frustrations that are the match to strike and ignite the deadly fuse to my explosive anger.  I am so incredibly thankful to know that the only thing I have to do is disarm the fuse, and HE will take care of the rest.  I am learning that in choosing to live with HIS vision, means that even though I may not see the future, and know what my future holds for me, I do know WHO holds my future.  I am so thankful that HE captured my heart over a year ago, and began to create in me a new heart, soul, body, and mind, one of which runs straight for HIS arms each and every morning, thankful, and praising HIM that HIS mercies are new every morning, that HIS grace is all sufficient for me, and that HIS love is relentless.

Dear friends, I pray today that if you too are short-fused, that you will have the courage to seek HIM, and allow HIM to teach you  how to disarm the fuse that is waiting to be ignited to your explosive anger.  I pray that you will know that HE has it all worked out for your own good.  I pray for peace in your heart that in choosing to do what HE calls you to do, that you won't be looking at all the injustices that you have endured, rather that you will trust HIM and know that nothing escapes HIM and that ALL true justice, comes from HIS timing and HIS provision.  I pray that you will take courage and know that HE has overcome the world.

"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33

Much love, prayers, and blessings,
Heather