"We have this hope as an anchor for the soul" Hebrews 6:19
It is not lost on me that in my darkest hour of the impending darkness that would cover our home, our family, our life, our very existence that HE reminded me of a promise that I had learned just two short years before. On the night of Seth's passing my mind was racing as to how..... why..... what do I say.... how do we tell them their baby brother died? The silence in the long (10 minute) drive home was deafening. It was as if the whole world swallowed us whole, and though life was going on around us, we were living a nightmare that we just couldn't wake up from.
My tears had stopped as I tried to think of what to say, and when my words failed, HIS HOLY SPIRIT began to speak for me through song. Instead of crying out my anguish, the words flowed from my heart, "my hope is built on nothing less, than JESUS blood and righteousness, I dare not trust the sweetest frame, but wholly trust in JESUS name. CHRIST alone, CORNERSTONE, the weak made strong in the SAVIORS love, and through the storm HE is LORD, LORD of all."
The memories of that night flowed through my mind...... and captured my heart in this very thought. HE loved me enough to teach me of HIS promises so that when my darkest hours were upon me, when I felt as though I would die from the pain, agony, and sorrow I endured, I would cling to HIS promise that with HIM I would always be anchored.
If you are on social media with me either on Facebook or Instagram there is a hashtag that HE has placed on my heart to use whenever I am sharing what HIS promises look like in my life, how HE has helped me in surviving the loss of my son, and overcoming the grief, living with the sorrow, finding JOY in the heartache, all because I am #anchoredinhishope.
To be honest when I first started using that hashtag, I didn't realize fully what it meant. I mean sure I knew partially what it meant for me, but really it wasn't until this morning that HE took me to the next level of what HIS promises mean for my life. HE is leading me to the next steps of how to share my story of being anchored. Today HE is asking me to share the ways in which HIS promises have filled me with HIS BLESSED ASSURANCE.... CERTAINTY.... that in HIM, with HIM there is always HOPE.
HE is reminding me of the past three years where I have clung to HIM. My prayers full of tears, asking why, how, and what now. HE's heard my cries of anguish in the disbelief that this is my life, that Seth's life here on earth is just over, no warning, no time to say goodbye, just over. HE is telling me that HE has been there every single step of the way when someone has questioned me how I could possibly go on, or for the people who've worried that I would give up. HE knows how frustrating it has been for me to defend myself, proving myself, explaining myself, and HE is letting me know that today it's not my job to defend, rather share HIS promises, and when we remind ourselves, eventually HIS promises will go from our ears, to be embedded deep in our hearts.
HE is letting me know that it's not so much about me sharing all my struggles anymore, rather WHO HE is in the storms of my life. I mean after all I'm human, so of course there is trouble in my life. HE is telling me that it's time that I share what it means to be anchored in HIS HOPE.
For the past eight days I have participated in a thirty one day prayer challenge for my husband. To be honest with you when I first started praying I was like, "finally I'm going to get HIM to change my husband." Ha! Oh man I should have realized that humble pie that I would be eating. It didn't take long for my selfishness to take over in my prayers, and on the second day my heart was wrecked at first in a bitter.... jealous way.... and it wasn't until I fully surrendered to HIM and allowed HIM to work in me, did I SEE and know what it mean to really pray for HIS will for my husband, and not me just making "suggestions."
As I was taking notes during today's message I felt HIM speak deep into my heart about if I am able to share about HIS promises, and how I clung to them in the past three years of surviving and learning to live again with a piece of my heart living in heaven, then why is my soul so downcast when it comes to the other struggles in my life? Had I not realized that HE wasn't going to just be there for helping me learn to live with the loss of my son, rather HE cares so deeply for me, that just as HIS promises kept me anchored in my darkest hours, HIS promises are there for me in every.single.aspect. of my life. That NOTHING in my life goes unnoticed by HIM. That HE SEES farther than I ever could, and I NEED NOT to worry about a thing, no matter how bad I am hurting, or worrying, HE is there, and HE is with me always. This my friends is #anchoredinhishope.
HE is letting me know that even though I SEE my problems as worldly and not as dire as losing my son, and healing and recovering from having my heart shattered, by now surely I will have learned that HE is WHO HE says HE IS!!! HE DOES what HE PROMISES!!! HE IS FAITHFUL!!!! HE IS UNSHAKEN!!!! HE IS UNCHANGING!!! HE IS MERCIFUL!!! HIS LOVE IS UNCONDITIONAL!!! HE IS OUR HEALER!!! HE WILL MEET EVERY SINGLE NEED!!! HE IS ALIVE!!! When we cling to HIS PROMISES, friends that is when we are ANCHORED in HIS HOPE!!!!
In being #anchoredinhishope I can tell you that HIS WORD IS TRUE!!!
"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." Psalm 34:18
Friends, I know this to be true, as I have lived this for the past three years of my life. I can tell you that there were months where all I could do was cry out, "I hurt" and HE responded, "I know I am with you."
"My tears have been my food day and night, while people say to me all day long, “Where is your God?” Psalm 42:3
For the longest time I remember thinking, "will I ever stop crying?" I felt as though crying would be what I was going to have to do for the rest of my life. That HE made me this emotional mess of a person, and my journey would be that of tears. I can honestly tell you my tears lie just beneath the surface, however I can now endure daily living without falling apart. That is not to say that I'm not easily stirred when it comes to all that I have endured in losing my son. However because HE has been there with me, catching all of my tears, and giving me, filling me with purpose for my pain, HIS glory SHINES through me, and I am able to share that even though I still cry, it's not of pain or anguish, rather its tears of reverence, memories, and love for HIM and for my sweet Seth Daniel.
"He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds." Psalm 147:3
It was during my time in the ocean of overwhelming, sorrow, sadness, anger, depression, and the deepest grief I've ever known that I clung to HIS promises, HIS PROMISE that HE would never leave me nor forsake me. It was then that I told myself that I could do this, I could endure this suffering, as I knew HE would redeem me from my anger, my strife, my agony, my suffering, and it wasn't a matter of if, it was always when. That's not to say that in my weakest moments with the enemy taunting me to give up, that surely I couldn't possibly keep trusting HIM, after all HE took away my son, HE broke my heart, and HE doesn't love me or care about me. It was in those moments that HE taught me about RIGHTEOUS ANGER, and I learned to pray for strength to endure whatever was happening, whatever steps I needed to take for healing and recovery I could do, I would do. All because HE had deeply rooted HIS PROMISES in my heart that kept me #anchoredinhishope.
I could probably write for another ten hours of all the ways HE has helped me and has kept me from letting go. What I will end with today is this, friends HIS word says it best
"No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:37-39
My Dear Brothers and Sisters in CHRIST JESUS, it is my prayer that HIS word will be an infallible source of comfort, wisdom, and discernment that will teach, lead, and guide you to run your race, to fulfill you purpose as a part of HIS mission. Friends I pray that if you are growing weary, that you will cling to HIS PROMISES, speak them, meditate on them, and proclaim them for your life so that you to will be #anchoredinhishope. I pray that HIS word which is full of stories of triumph, hope, perserverence, will encourage, uplift, and cheer you on to keep your eyes on JESUS so that you will finish your race all for HIS glory. Friends, take heart, HE is with you always, and will NEVER leave you nor forsake you. HE is with us always, as we bravely, courageously, with hearts abandoned risk the cliffs and the oceans to tell the world about JESUS.
"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart." Hebrews 12:1-3
Always Dear ones, with much love, prayers, compassion, and understanding,
Your Sister in CHRIST JESUS,
~ Heather
It is not lost on me that in my darkest hour of the impending darkness that would cover our home, our family, our life, our very existence that HE reminded me of a promise that I had learned just two short years before. On the night of Seth's passing my mind was racing as to how..... why..... what do I say.... how do we tell them their baby brother died? The silence in the long (10 minute) drive home was deafening. It was as if the whole world swallowed us whole, and though life was going on around us, we were living a nightmare that we just couldn't wake up from.
My tears had stopped as I tried to think of what to say, and when my words failed, HIS HOLY SPIRIT began to speak for me through song. Instead of crying out my anguish, the words flowed from my heart, "my hope is built on nothing less, than JESUS blood and righteousness, I dare not trust the sweetest frame, but wholly trust in JESUS name. CHRIST alone, CORNERSTONE, the weak made strong in the SAVIORS love, and through the storm HE is LORD, LORD of all."
The memories of that night flowed through my mind...... and captured my heart in this very thought. HE loved me enough to teach me of HIS promises so that when my darkest hours were upon me, when I felt as though I would die from the pain, agony, and sorrow I endured, I would cling to HIS promise that with HIM I would always be anchored.
If you are on social media with me either on Facebook or Instagram there is a hashtag that HE has placed on my heart to use whenever I am sharing what HIS promises look like in my life, how HE has helped me in surviving the loss of my son, and overcoming the grief, living with the sorrow, finding JOY in the heartache, all because I am #anchoredinhishope.
To be honest when I first started using that hashtag, I didn't realize fully what it meant. I mean sure I knew partially what it meant for me, but really it wasn't until this morning that HE took me to the next level of what HIS promises mean for my life. HE is leading me to the next steps of how to share my story of being anchored. Today HE is asking me to share the ways in which HIS promises have filled me with HIS BLESSED ASSURANCE.... CERTAINTY.... that in HIM, with HIM there is always HOPE.
HE is reminding me of the past three years where I have clung to HIM. My prayers full of tears, asking why, how, and what now. HE's heard my cries of anguish in the disbelief that this is my life, that Seth's life here on earth is just over, no warning, no time to say goodbye, just over. HE is telling me that HE has been there every single step of the way when someone has questioned me how I could possibly go on, or for the people who've worried that I would give up. HE knows how frustrating it has been for me to defend myself, proving myself, explaining myself, and HE is letting me know that today it's not my job to defend, rather share HIS promises, and when we remind ourselves, eventually HIS promises will go from our ears, to be embedded deep in our hearts.
HE is letting me know that it's not so much about me sharing all my struggles anymore, rather WHO HE is in the storms of my life. I mean after all I'm human, so of course there is trouble in my life. HE is telling me that it's time that I share what it means to be anchored in HIS HOPE.
For the past eight days I have participated in a thirty one day prayer challenge for my husband. To be honest with you when I first started praying I was like, "finally I'm going to get HIM to change my husband." Ha! Oh man I should have realized that humble pie that I would be eating. It didn't take long for my selfishness to take over in my prayers, and on the second day my heart was wrecked at first in a bitter.... jealous way.... and it wasn't until I fully surrendered to HIM and allowed HIM to work in me, did I SEE and know what it mean to really pray for HIS will for my husband, and not me just making "suggestions."
As I was taking notes during today's message I felt HIM speak deep into my heart about if I am able to share about HIS promises, and how I clung to them in the past three years of surviving and learning to live again with a piece of my heart living in heaven, then why is my soul so downcast when it comes to the other struggles in my life? Had I not realized that HE wasn't going to just be there for helping me learn to live with the loss of my son, rather HE cares so deeply for me, that just as HIS promises kept me anchored in my darkest hours, HIS promises are there for me in every.single.aspect. of my life. That NOTHING in my life goes unnoticed by HIM. That HE SEES farther than I ever could, and I NEED NOT to worry about a thing, no matter how bad I am hurting, or worrying, HE is there, and HE is with me always. This my friends is #anchoredinhishope.
HE is letting me know that even though I SEE my problems as worldly and not as dire as losing my son, and healing and recovering from having my heart shattered, by now surely I will have learned that HE is WHO HE says HE IS!!! HE DOES what HE PROMISES!!! HE IS FAITHFUL!!!! HE IS UNSHAKEN!!!! HE IS UNCHANGING!!! HE IS MERCIFUL!!! HIS LOVE IS UNCONDITIONAL!!! HE IS OUR HEALER!!! HE WILL MEET EVERY SINGLE NEED!!! HE IS ALIVE!!! When we cling to HIS PROMISES, friends that is when we are ANCHORED in HIS HOPE!!!!
In being #anchoredinhishope I can tell you that HIS WORD IS TRUE!!!
"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." Psalm 34:18
Friends, I know this to be true, as I have lived this for the past three years of my life. I can tell you that there were months where all I could do was cry out, "I hurt" and HE responded, "I know I am with you."
"My tears have been my food day and night, while people say to me all day long, “Where is your God?” Psalm 42:3
For the longest time I remember thinking, "will I ever stop crying?" I felt as though crying would be what I was going to have to do for the rest of my life. That HE made me this emotional mess of a person, and my journey would be that of tears. I can honestly tell you my tears lie just beneath the surface, however I can now endure daily living without falling apart. That is not to say that I'm not easily stirred when it comes to all that I have endured in losing my son. However because HE has been there with me, catching all of my tears, and giving me, filling me with purpose for my pain, HIS glory SHINES through me, and I am able to share that even though I still cry, it's not of pain or anguish, rather its tears of reverence, memories, and love for HIM and for my sweet Seth Daniel.
"He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds." Psalm 147:3
It was during my time in the ocean of overwhelming, sorrow, sadness, anger, depression, and the deepest grief I've ever known that I clung to HIS promises, HIS PROMISE that HE would never leave me nor forsake me. It was then that I told myself that I could do this, I could endure this suffering, as I knew HE would redeem me from my anger, my strife, my agony, my suffering, and it wasn't a matter of if, it was always when. That's not to say that in my weakest moments with the enemy taunting me to give up, that surely I couldn't possibly keep trusting HIM, after all HE took away my son, HE broke my heart, and HE doesn't love me or care about me. It was in those moments that HE taught me about RIGHTEOUS ANGER, and I learned to pray for strength to endure whatever was happening, whatever steps I needed to take for healing and recovery I could do, I would do. All because HE had deeply rooted HIS PROMISES in my heart that kept me #anchoredinhishope.
I could probably write for another ten hours of all the ways HE has helped me and has kept me from letting go. What I will end with today is this, friends HIS word says it best
"No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:37-39
My Dear Brothers and Sisters in CHRIST JESUS, it is my prayer that HIS word will be an infallible source of comfort, wisdom, and discernment that will teach, lead, and guide you to run your race, to fulfill you purpose as a part of HIS mission. Friends I pray that if you are growing weary, that you will cling to HIS PROMISES, speak them, meditate on them, and proclaim them for your life so that you to will be #anchoredinhishope. I pray that HIS word which is full of stories of triumph, hope, perserverence, will encourage, uplift, and cheer you on to keep your eyes on JESUS so that you will finish your race all for HIS glory. Friends, take heart, HE is with you always, and will NEVER leave you nor forsake you. HE is with us always, as we bravely, courageously, with hearts abandoned risk the cliffs and the oceans to tell the world about JESUS.
"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart." Hebrews 12:1-3
Always Dear ones, with much love, prayers, compassion, and understanding,
Your Sister in CHRIST JESUS,
~ Heather
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