"How do you keep picking yourself back up, only to be knocked down again. Isn't it better to just stay down so that when the next thing hits you it won't hurt as bad, as when you are happy, and living with JOY the sting of the fall hurts far worse than if you would have just stayed down."
This question was posed to me last night, and honestly I struggled to speak after a few minutes. So much because the pain from the question was felt, the sorrow in the voice was known. Deep in my heart how I longed for the right answer. I longed to be able to comfort, to give HOPE, but I knew in that moment no matter what I said, all I could do was pray.
Well that was last night, and today's a new day and when I presented my request to HIM, HE surely didn't disappoint to help me learn, to teach, to lead, to guide me to speak HIS truth even in the midst of sorrow, sadness, and pain. This morning I had an honest conversation with my Abba about what I would say to someone who is feeling hopeless in their own journey that has been filled with hardship after hardship. This was my response:
Because JESUS in the moments after leaving Seth's earthly body at the hospital, sitting in the deafening silence, all I could do was cry out to YOU, to sing YOUR praise. Because JESUS YOU were Faithful to teach, to lead, to guide me to remember YOU in times where darkness was all around. Where I hit rock bottom, and NOTHING of this world could even reach me. YOU did, Because JESUS YOU are Faithful.
Because JESUS after years of ocean living you truly did begin to bind up my wounds, just as YOUR word had promised. Because JESUS YOU are Sovereign only YOU know how much time it would take for my wounds to be healed. Though my pain is still just below the surface, the scars, those hurt, and are my living reminder of YOUR glory, YOUR mercy in my life, that I survived.
Because JESUS I survived finding my son lifeless in his toddler bed. Because JESUS I survived the collapse in my driveway. Because JESUS I survived planning the celebration of Seth's precious beautiful life on what was to be his second birthday. Because JESUS I bravely walked through the cemetery that same day to choose his earthly resting place for his body. Because JESUS I survived standing on the stage telling the world about my sweet Seth Daniel. Because JESUS I survived watching, waiting as they placed his little casket before me. Because JESUS.....
Because JESUS I survived years of depression, PTSD, severe anxiety, and years of sorrow. Because JESUS I survived months of agony in the early days of Seth's passing. Because JESUS YOUR promises are TRUE, and YOU planted them deeply in my heart. Because JESUS YOU blessed us with my precious daughter Joy. Because JESUS YOU taught me to be FEARLESS in my pregnancy with Joy. Because JESUS you showed me that I could TRUST YOU, because of my life before losing Seth YOU proved YOURSELF to be Trustworthy.
Because JESUS when the pain was all I could feel, YOU were there holding me. Because JESUS when pain bubbled up and out of me, spilling all around me and other people stepped back, YOU JESUS stepped closer, pulled me close in YOUR loving arms, held me, caught all of my tears Because JESUS YOU are Loving.
Because JESUS when I share my story of the most horrific week of my life my tears may fall, but the agony I once felt, I no longer feel, Because JESUS YOU are Merciful. Because JESUS YOU knew that one day the agony would leave, and sorrow would settle in. Because JESUS YOU had me grieve openly, in a real raw grief, revealing the depth of my pain to this broken and fallen world in only a way that YOU can. Because JESUS only in agony am I able to write that way. Because JESUS YOU gave me the Strength to journal to share what I was going through.
Because JESUS YOU knew my journey would be a Light for others going through darkness. Because JESUS YOU knew that though I took time, YOU knew that I would seek YOU, and allow YOU to Refine, Renew, Restore, and Rebuild me. Because JESUS I have been chosen to live this life I have been given. Because JESUS YOU knew how much I would ache and hurt, YOU knew I would need to rebuilt Strong as YOUR warrior princess. Because JESUS YOU have lovingly taken the time to teach me that YOU are my only KING FOREVER.
Because JESUS YOU are my only HOPE. Because JESUS CHRIST ALONE CORNERSTONE YOU are my SOLID ROCK FOUNDATION of which I am able to stand firm, to press into in times of trouble, to lean on, to Rest, to find Comfort in YOUR Loving embrace. Because JESUS with just ONE TOUCH YOU radically changed my life forever. YOU reached down and Rescued this little girl lost, YOU Saved me LORD from the depths of hell.
Because JESUS YOU have given me the Strength to endure the tests, trials, and storms of my life. Because JESUS YOU have filled me with Courage to be Fearless in everything that I face. Because JESUS with YOU I can do all things, Because JESUS YOU can, YOU do, and YOU always will. Because JESUS YOU NEVER grow weary from Helping me navigate through the darkness of this world. Because JESUS YOU are Steadfast in YOUR Promises to never leave me, nor forsake me. Because JESUS though I am weak, YOU are Strong.
Because JESUS though I've wanted to quit so many times in this journey of my life, YOU have kept me Anchored in YOUR HOPE, so that I may Persevere through all that which the enemy, my enemy "tries" to take me out with. Because JESUS YOU have a Plan for my life, one to Prosper me to Give me HOPE and a Future. Because JESUS YOU are in my today's and will be in my tomorrows before I even begin them. Because JESUS that is WHO YOU are. Because JESUS that is how much you Love.
Because JESUS YOU took the time to Teach, Lead, and Guide to know, to understand WHO you are, to planted deep into my heart, rooted firmly to my soul, YOUR promises so that when the unimaginable, unthinkable, unfathomable happened in my life..... Because JESUS YOU are the only reason I survived. Because JESUS I survived because I clung to YOUR Promises because YOU gave me HOPE when there was nothing else to hold onto, all Because JESUS YOU taught me I am YOURS, and YOU are mine.
My Dear Brothers and Sisters in CHRIST JESUS, I pray that if you are hurting today, you will turn to the only ONE WHO can HEAL you. I pray for your broken wounded heart. Friends, I know you are weary, HE knows just how weary you are, I know how hurt you are feeling, so much that you're thinking, "you have no idea," you're probably right, but HE does, and if you'll let HIM in, HE will bind up your wounds, HE will make you whole, HE will pour HIS strength into, HE will SHINE HIS light on you, and HE will give you HOPE and a Future. Friends, I am praying and believing that HE is TRUSTWORTHY for me, for you for all of us. I pray that HE will surround you with people to help you in your journey, and will give you the guidance to work though all that of which the enemy has tried to wipe you out with. Dear ones, I pray you know that you are never alone, HE is always with you. Answer HIS gentle knock on your heart, and I promise you will experience the most radical change in your life.
Always with so much love, compassion, understanding, and grace,
Your Sister in CHRIST JESUS,
~ Heather
This question was posed to me last night, and honestly I struggled to speak after a few minutes. So much because the pain from the question was felt, the sorrow in the voice was known. Deep in my heart how I longed for the right answer. I longed to be able to comfort, to give HOPE, but I knew in that moment no matter what I said, all I could do was pray.
Well that was last night, and today's a new day and when I presented my request to HIM, HE surely didn't disappoint to help me learn, to teach, to lead, to guide me to speak HIS truth even in the midst of sorrow, sadness, and pain. This morning I had an honest conversation with my Abba about what I would say to someone who is feeling hopeless in their own journey that has been filled with hardship after hardship. This was my response:
Because JESUS in the moments after leaving Seth's earthly body at the hospital, sitting in the deafening silence, all I could do was cry out to YOU, to sing YOUR praise. Because JESUS YOU were Faithful to teach, to lead, to guide me to remember YOU in times where darkness was all around. Where I hit rock bottom, and NOTHING of this world could even reach me. YOU did, Because JESUS YOU are Faithful.
Because JESUS after years of ocean living you truly did begin to bind up my wounds, just as YOUR word had promised. Because JESUS YOU are Sovereign only YOU know how much time it would take for my wounds to be healed. Though my pain is still just below the surface, the scars, those hurt, and are my living reminder of YOUR glory, YOUR mercy in my life, that I survived.
Because JESUS I survived finding my son lifeless in his toddler bed. Because JESUS I survived the collapse in my driveway. Because JESUS I survived planning the celebration of Seth's precious beautiful life on what was to be his second birthday. Because JESUS I bravely walked through the cemetery that same day to choose his earthly resting place for his body. Because JESUS I survived standing on the stage telling the world about my sweet Seth Daniel. Because JESUS I survived watching, waiting as they placed his little casket before me. Because JESUS.....
Because JESUS I survived years of depression, PTSD, severe anxiety, and years of sorrow. Because JESUS I survived months of agony in the early days of Seth's passing. Because JESUS YOUR promises are TRUE, and YOU planted them deeply in my heart. Because JESUS YOU blessed us with my precious daughter Joy. Because JESUS YOU taught me to be FEARLESS in my pregnancy with Joy. Because JESUS you showed me that I could TRUST YOU, because of my life before losing Seth YOU proved YOURSELF to be Trustworthy.
Because JESUS when the pain was all I could feel, YOU were there holding me. Because JESUS when pain bubbled up and out of me, spilling all around me and other people stepped back, YOU JESUS stepped closer, pulled me close in YOUR loving arms, held me, caught all of my tears Because JESUS YOU are Loving.
Because JESUS when I share my story of the most horrific week of my life my tears may fall, but the agony I once felt, I no longer feel, Because JESUS YOU are Merciful. Because JESUS YOU knew that one day the agony would leave, and sorrow would settle in. Because JESUS YOU had me grieve openly, in a real raw grief, revealing the depth of my pain to this broken and fallen world in only a way that YOU can. Because JESUS only in agony am I able to write that way. Because JESUS YOU gave me the Strength to journal to share what I was going through.
Because JESUS YOU knew my journey would be a Light for others going through darkness. Because JESUS YOU knew that though I took time, YOU knew that I would seek YOU, and allow YOU to Refine, Renew, Restore, and Rebuild me. Because JESUS I have been chosen to live this life I have been given. Because JESUS YOU knew how much I would ache and hurt, YOU knew I would need to rebuilt Strong as YOUR warrior princess. Because JESUS YOU have lovingly taken the time to teach me that YOU are my only KING FOREVER.
Because JESUS YOU are my only HOPE. Because JESUS CHRIST ALONE CORNERSTONE YOU are my SOLID ROCK FOUNDATION of which I am able to stand firm, to press into in times of trouble, to lean on, to Rest, to find Comfort in YOUR Loving embrace. Because JESUS with just ONE TOUCH YOU radically changed my life forever. YOU reached down and Rescued this little girl lost, YOU Saved me LORD from the depths of hell.
Because JESUS YOU have given me the Strength to endure the tests, trials, and storms of my life. Because JESUS YOU have filled me with Courage to be Fearless in everything that I face. Because JESUS with YOU I can do all things, Because JESUS YOU can, YOU do, and YOU always will. Because JESUS YOU NEVER grow weary from Helping me navigate through the darkness of this world. Because JESUS YOU are Steadfast in YOUR Promises to never leave me, nor forsake me. Because JESUS though I am weak, YOU are Strong.
Because JESUS though I've wanted to quit so many times in this journey of my life, YOU have kept me Anchored in YOUR HOPE, so that I may Persevere through all that which the enemy, my enemy "tries" to take me out with. Because JESUS YOU have a Plan for my life, one to Prosper me to Give me HOPE and a Future. Because JESUS YOU are in my today's and will be in my tomorrows before I even begin them. Because JESUS that is WHO YOU are. Because JESUS that is how much you Love.
Because JESUS YOU took the time to Teach, Lead, and Guide to know, to understand WHO you are, to planted deep into my heart, rooted firmly to my soul, YOUR promises so that when the unimaginable, unthinkable, unfathomable happened in my life..... Because JESUS YOU are the only reason I survived. Because JESUS I survived because I clung to YOUR Promises because YOU gave me HOPE when there was nothing else to hold onto, all Because JESUS YOU taught me I am YOURS, and YOU are mine.
My Dear Brothers and Sisters in CHRIST JESUS, I pray that if you are hurting today, you will turn to the only ONE WHO can HEAL you. I pray for your broken wounded heart. Friends, I know you are weary, HE knows just how weary you are, I know how hurt you are feeling, so much that you're thinking, "you have no idea," you're probably right, but HE does, and if you'll let HIM in, HE will bind up your wounds, HE will make you whole, HE will pour HIS strength into, HE will SHINE HIS light on you, and HE will give you HOPE and a Future. Friends, I am praying and believing that HE is TRUSTWORTHY for me, for you for all of us. I pray that HE will surround you with people to help you in your journey, and will give you the guidance to work though all that of which the enemy has tried to wipe you out with. Dear ones, I pray you know that you are never alone, HE is always with you. Answer HIS gentle knock on your heart, and I promise you will experience the most radical change in your life.
Always with so much love, compassion, understanding, and grace,
Your Sister in CHRIST JESUS,
~ Heather
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