"alone"

For the past few days I have remained silent, I haven't written my blog, in fact I haven't journaled, or read anything from my latest bible study.  I have however, been talking to GOD, and seeking HIM.  I have been listening for HIS call's and heeding HIS "whispers."  For the past week now GOD has been reminding me what it was like for me on the day's and night's where I felt so "alone."  I put alone in quotes as, truly with GOD in my life, I am never alone.  

HIS Daily Teachings today is reminding me of how HE carried me through the darkest moments of my life, and after hearing all the stories lately of suicide, depression, lonliness, and complete and total heart break, GOD has begun to fill my heart with compassion to speak HIS word, and to share the dark part of my testimony with the lost and broken people around me.  HE is wanting me to share just how "alone" I let myself become when I shut myself off from HIM.

I wish I could say I've only experienced the "alone" feeling a few times, however in my humanness, I tend to let life's tragedies, and sadness overwhelm me.  It seems as if though every where I have turned lately there is so much sadness, and loss in the world around me.  My closet friends heartbreaks, church family's heartbreaks, my own families heartbreaks.  GOD has been showing me that everywhere I turn people are hurting.  GOD is reminding me of how to familiar that feeling is for me, and how HE is calling me to share my faith, my testimony, my story of salvation.  HE is wanting me to share my story of HIS HOPE, HIS MERCY, and HIS GRACE for my life.  HE is calling on my to share HIS good news.

There have been times in my journey where I have felt so "alone."  Which is astounding to me, as I am surrounded by six other people in my home.  I am surrounded by many wonderful family and friends.  I am surrounded by everyday people just like me.  However, the darkest times in my life, were where I was so surrounded by people that I had never felt so "alone."

Many of the people in my life suffer from seasonal depression.  It is so secret that when our days grow darker as the sun sets earlier and earlier, our night's become longer and longer.  I am a person who thrives on the sunlight, and when I fail to receive that my thought's begin to darken.  It is very easy for me to fall into the trap of all that is wrong with my life, when there is no light in my life.

However, HE is wanting me to know that HE is my light, even in my darkest hours HE is my light!  This morning as I was praying, GOD had me write out my prayer, and I feel as if though HE is wanting me to share it with you.

             Lord JESUS, I will answer YOUR call.  I have heard you call me and I know I must preach the gospel to all people.  LORD I am not ashamed of YOUR word, as it is living water for my soul.  It cleanses me.  I want broken and lost people to experience the same cleansing as I have.  LORD, it is through your power alone that I have received the amazing gift of my salvation.  LORD here am I send me.  Send me out into this broken world, to speak LIFE and TRUTH, about WHO YOU are, and what YOU have done for me.  LORD, let YOUR righteousness flow from me.  Let my life be a living testament that living, breathing, and walking by faith in YOU will lead to life ever lasting!  LORD, the more that I am craving can only be satisfied by YOU.  YOU LORD JESUS are the more that I long for.  YOU are all that I need!  LORD, fill me with YOUR word, send me LORD, use me to bring YOUR kingdom of HEAVEN here to this dark broken place.  USE me LORD, to shine YOUR light in the darkness.  Here am I LORD, send me.  All day long I will seek YOU, and serve YOU.  I will speak of YOUR good works.  Here am I LORD, send me.  It has been said that the "righteous will live by faith."  I need YOU always, and with YOU I know that I am never "alone."  In YOUR HOLY RIGHTEOUS MIGHTY, and JUST name!  Amen.

This morning, I woke up with my heart heavy with the thought that there is someone out there feeling so "alone."  Feeling as if though they have been crying out for help, and no one is listening.  A person who feels as if though they have no other choice but to end the aching throbbing pain that is buried so deep within.  A person who's every thought is consumed with depression.  From a mother's empty arms, to a man's personal failure in being able to provide and protect HIS family.  From a teenager who longs to please their parents, and never being "good enough."  The heartbreak surrounds me, and astounds me, of just how "alone" people have become.  All of the feelings that what you do is never enough, and having people just take from you, and put you down, and tell you that you are nothing.  The lies, and manipulation that the enemy has planted in your thoughts, and the thoughts of those around you.  The crimes that are being committed daily against people, from the tormented souls of the lost and broken.  All of the sadness in the world is laying so heavy on my heart today.

HE is wanting me to share how HE saved me!  How at just the right moment HE rescued me before I gave into the darkness.  HE has changed my life, and has made my life worth living.  I too have felt as if though life was meaningless, and I was worthless, and that no one would ever miss me if I were to leave this world.  I now know that those thoughts couldn't be further from the truth.  GOD is wanting me to share that, it is the truth for every living, breathing soul on this planet.  HE is the light!  HE is the strength that we need.  HIS word is the living water that cleanses our souls.  HIS love is greater than anything of this world!  HIS mercy is breathtaking.  HIS grace, is astonishing, as I for one have received far more grace than I ever thought possible.  HIS forgiveness, is remarkable, as HE has forgiven me for some really horrible things.  

HE is wanting me to share that no matter what or how you may feel HE is with YOU!  HE is there even when you feel you are "alone."  HE is with you, with every tear that you shed, and every beat of your broken heart, HE is with you.  HE is waiting patiently at the door of your heart, and is waiting for you to say that you need HIM.  HE is wanting you to know what it is to have HIS word poured over your life, and to be the living water that you have been needing to cleanse your soul.  HE is there, HE is wanting you to know that NO matter what you have done in your past, HE promises that when you ask HIM into your heart, your sins will be forgiven.  HE loves you, and desires you.  HE will stop at nothing to be sure that you know that.   HE see's the pain you are in, and know's of your sadness.  HE is wanting to heal you, and take away your pain.  HE is wanting you to live a truly peaceful life.  HE is wanting you to lean on HIM, and let HIM be your source of strength.  

Even if you have never talked to HIM before, you too can pray the prayer of salvation.  When you reach that moment in your life that you are ready for a committed and personal relationship with CHRIST JESUS, all you have to do is pray, and HE will be there for you.  HE is wanting you to know that all you have to do is pray for your salvation and it will be given to you.

This is the prayer of salvation that HE is wanting me to share with you:

"Oh GOD in HEAVEN, I believe with all of my heart that JESUS has been raised from the dead. I receive your Word, and I repent of my sins. I renounce my past. Come into my heart, LORD JESUS. Fill me with YOUR forgiveness. I am ready to be reborn, and to be cleansed and washed in YOUR Word.  I am ready to be healed by JESUS blood. Fill me with Your HOLY SPIRIT GOD, in  JESUS' name. Amen."

If you have prayed that prayer for the first time, tell someone.  Share your good news with someone.  I would strongly encourage you to seek out a church, so that you can be fill with HIS word even more. Surround yourself with other CHRIST followers that will help you grow in your walk of faith and who will be there to help you in the times where you feel "alone."  GOD is given you a great gift of salvation, and of community.  HE is never wanting you to feel "alone" ever again.

I pray today that you will have the courage to pray to HIM, seek HIM, and ask HIM to take the brokeness and sadness from your life.  I pray that you will know HIS plans for your life are far greater than you could ever imagine.  I pray that you will put your trust and hope in HIM as HE is the one who knows and loves you best.  I pray that if you are in your darkest hours, you will know that with HIM you are never "alone."

Blessings,
Heather