Two nights ago, when D got home from work, he found me sobbing in our room. Earlier in the day I had sent him a picture of me, dressed up, ready to go out with him that evening, however in thinking about whether or not I "deserved" to go anywhere, I began to feel horrible about myself, and ended up sobbing in my room.
It has been for the past few months that I have really become to feel like such a burden to my husband D. D's career requires him to work many long hours, and because of that he isn't able to give me the time and attention that I am needing. In not getting what I am needing from him, I lash out at him with my words and my actions. Before long instead of giving him encouragement to want to be my husband, I end up pushing him even further into his work, as I am learning is his retreat from my anger, my rage, and sadly my awful life threatening wrath.
Going back to two nights ago, D began asking me what was wrong and wanted to know why I didn't look like I did in the picture. I had since changed into my pajamas, and all of my makeup was cried off of my face, and well I looked like the hott mess that I was. It was through our talk that I was able to finally let go and tell D why I had been crying. HIS Daily Teachings today is taking me back to that night, and even further into my past to reveal to me where my burden carries me.
I have always been a high maintenance person. Whether it was my needing glasses, or hearing aids, to my chronic ear infections, and ulcers, to my neediness to feel loved, wanted, and cherished, I have always known what a burden I have been to others. In knowing that I was a burden, it has kept me from wanting to let anyone in, as I knew as soon as I did, they would go running for the hills.
When I was in fourth grade I got into a huge fight with my mom, and I ended up running outside, and down the road as far away from our house as I could get. Before I knew it my Granny had come and picked me up, and it was then that my nightmare continued, as the house of horrors that I had escaped before, was now becoming my reality once again.
For four long, abuse filled years I endured my burdens being used against me for someone else's selfish gains. It was through those four years that I cried daily, and died a little more each day as I knew that my reality of being rescued would probably never come. That was the first time that I ever remember having the first thoughts of taking my own life.
By the time I was eleven years of age, my depression had completely taken over me, and I was taken to counseling, and to see a psychiatrist and put on my first dose of anti-depressants. It would be two more longs years before I would be removed from my living nightmare, and I would step into an even deeper pit of despair.
During my eighth grade year, I was "rescued" and was brought to live back with my mom, dad, brother, and sister. However, even though I was living with all of them, little did I know how my burdens carried me. It didn't take long for my burdens to get in the way, and I felt even more depressed as now that I had been "rescued," it was becoming more apparent that they were regretting having "rescued" me. It was then that I felt that I was NEVER going to be worthy even for anyone.
Growing up I struggled to find, and keep friends in my life. By the time I reached my eighth grade year my burdens were completely wreaking havoc in every area of my life, and what little friends I did have, were done with me. They couldn't understand that even after going back home to live with my family how or why I could still be so depressed.
The final straw for me was during science class one day, where the weight of my burdens was all too much to bear when my teacher said to me, "seriously Miss H. it can't all be that bad, would it kill you to smile?" I think I died a little more that day, as the reality of my burdens that carried me were killing me softly a little more each day.
It has been through HIS Daily Teachings today that I am finally able to know and understand that my burdens that carried me, have carried me straight to HIS open, and loving arms. HE is teaching me that the burdens that Satan was "hoping" would help him take me out, have carried me straight into my LOVING SAVIOR's arms.
HE is wanting me to know that as I have learned that my life has been written on purpose for HIS purpose, I can now understand that my burdens that have carried me, were designed specifically to weaken me, as I am learning that it is through my weakness that HE is my strength. HE is telling me that it is in my weakness that I must remember that HE is my strength. HE is wanting me to know that HE didn't design me to be self-sufficient, but rather to press into HIM, and open myself up to receive HIS grace, as HIS grace is all sufficient for me.
" But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me." 2 Corinthians 12:9
HE is reminding me once again that in knowing that my life has been written on purpose, I am to delight in my weakness, as I am learning through HIS wisdom that it is those very burdens that have carried me straight to HIM. HE is taking me back into my past where HE met me right where I was broken, lost, alone, and soon to be divorced that cloudy day in late September of 2002. Though it would be almost a year later before I would make the decision that would change my life forever.
" For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Corinthians 12:10
In choosing to ask HIM to be my LORD and SAVIOR I am learning that my burdens that carried me into my pit of despair, have now been lifted off of me, as HE is the ONE WHO has rescued me, and I need NOT to worry, as HE doesn't regret rescuing me.
Today HIS truth, is revealing all the lies that have penetrated my heart, and kept me lock up in my own prison by letting me know that my burdens that carried me, were, are, and will always be HIS loving reminders that HE is there, HE is with me, and HE will carry me through everything and anything that I encounter.
HE is wanting me to know that this is why it is the utmost of importance that I am to choose JOY in the storms of my life, and know that what I see as my burdens, they are in fact HIS loving grace and mercies which are new for me everyday. HE is telling me that by choosing JOY I will then be able to delight in my weaknesses as I will know that they are HIS loving reminders that I need HIM.
Today I am being reminded of just how much I need HIM to be my everything, and to be in everything, every area of my life, to show me, to teach me, to lead me, and to guide me. So that I will be able to live my life according to HIS will. Today I am so incredibly thankful to finally know and understand that my burdens have carried me straight to HIM. That it has been through my burdens that I am receiving complete healing and peace for my past. That the pain that I have endured in my past was to build me and strengthen me. I am thankful to know that of which Satan "tried" in vain to destroy me with, HE has taken that very hott mess that I had become, and took my mess, as I am HIS mess, and HE has turned it all into HIS beautiful message! I am so incredibly blessed to be able to live my life with HIS true freedom, that my past didn't win, and my burdens that once carried me, I am NO longer carrying, as I have laid them all down at HIS feet, and HE has lifted ALL of my burdens off of me.
Dear friends, I pray today that if you are hurting that you will know that your burdens that have carried you, are in fact carrying you straight to HIS loving arms. I pray that you will have the courage to let go, and let HIM be the LORD and SAVIOR of your life. I pray that when you do, HE will transform and renew your mind, and fill your heart with comfort and peace to know that HE has everything worked out for your own good. I pray today that you will know that the burdens that which Satan has "tried" to destroy you with, HE is building you, strengthening you, and growing you stronger as each day passes. I pray today that you will know that your life has been written on purpose so that you will see that you need HIM. I pray that you will know that no matter what you may have done, HIS mercies are new, and HIS grace is all sufficient.
in HIS loving embrace,
Heather
This is an account of my early morning walks of faith with my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. In searching for accountablity for me, the LORD used it as encouragement for others. I pray blessings for each and every life who reads HIS Daily Teachings
Friday, May 30, 2014
Tuesday, May 27, 2014
HIS perspective
On Sunday night, D, and our five children set out on a family walk. Having just talked about that morning's message at church about Restoration Family, we decided that the best thing we could do as a family was actually spend time together. It was while we were walking that HE began to really speak to me, and it was on that walk that HE met me right where I was. As I looked up to the sky and saw how blue it was, HE began to take me back to a time 12 years ago where I remember looking up at that same sky and asking HIM a question, one of which I didn't even realize was probably the first time I ever spoke to HIM, without knowing WHO HE was.
I remember it had been one of the darkest days of my existence. My two oldest daughters were 1 & 2, and D was working about an hour away. For the past week I had been "planning" my exit of this cruel world. I had been going over and over my "plan." However, the more I went over it, the more I could see that it wouldn't work, as I didn't want to hurt my precious little girls. Feeling so defeated, as if I couldn't even die to end my pain, I sat on the couch and watched my little girls playing. It was when D got home from work, that he took my hand and said, "Hey lets get out of here, and go for a walk." I remember crying, and thinking, "he doesn't even see how much pain I'm in."
As we began walking, I remember looking up to the beautiful blue sky, and asking HIM "GOD why am I still here?" I remember the gut wrenching pain that I felt that day, and I remember the softness, and gentleness of D's words, and his loving touch that he placed on me that day. I remember our sweet little girls playing, and laughing, and I remember begging to be taken out of this world.
Since our family walk this past Sunday, HE has been teaching me all about HIS perspective. The more I "tried" to read my current bible study, the more HE took me back into my past, and reminded me of that very question I asked HIM.
HIS Daily Teachings today is answering that question, and once again I am learning that just as with everything else that HE has been teaching me, I know that I am able to understand what HE is telling me, just by choosing to keep HIS perspective when it comes to my life.
HE is wanting me to know that HE understands "why" I have felt the way I have, and "why" I have asked the questions I have. Once again HE is capturing my attention and creating in me a heart for HIS vision, so that I am able to see things as HE sees them. In seeking HIS vision for my life, HE is giving me that answer as to "why" GOD am I still here."
Just by looking at my life, and where I am today, I know that I am still here because HE has amazing plans for my life. Plans of which include being a Mama of HIS amazing 5. I am learning that it has all been a part of HIS plan, and HIS purpose for my life. It has been HIS will for me to go through the tests and trials that I have so that when I was blessed to receive and live with HIS perspective, I would then have a heart full of gratitude and thanks, as HE is proving that HE really does love and know me best. That HE really does work everything out for my good.
It has been looking back on my greatest hurts and pains of my life, that seeing them through HIS perspective, I am finally understanding that I am truly HIS work in progress. I am comforted to know that I don't have to have it all worked out, as HE already does. I am so thankful to be able to say that my story, HIS Story has already been written, and I am blessed to be living it!
Yesterday morning D and I had an argument, one of which I started. It was because I didn't choose JOY in the situation, that things got quickly heated, and unwholesome thoughts, and words began to creep out of me. Thankfully, because HE loves me too much to let me totally derail, and self destruct, HE kept HIS hand tightly over my mouth. I ended up going to my room, venting, to HIM and my daughter, ALL of my frustrations, and sadly, I didn't keep my words wholesome.
When I finished my venting session, it was then I felt HIS presence, and HE began to speak to my heart. In speaking to my heart, HE was letting me know that the very thing that was upsetting me, was NOT something that D did maliciously to me. In fact, just the opposite, however in my foolish thinking, I took things the wrong way, and acted out my foolish thinking. Thankfully before I took things too far, HE captured my attention, and began to let me see the circumstances through HIS perspective.
This morning HE is once again reminding me that I must choose JOY no matter what is happening in my life. I am learning once again that I must obey HIM, as HE truly does know what is best for me, and I know that HIS plan, and HIS purpose for my life is far greater than anything I could have ever dreamt of on my own.
"But Peter and the apostles answered, “We must obey God rather than men." Acts 5:29
In keeping HIS perspective HE is teaching me that I must choose to take captive my thoughts, and NOT just blurt out my "feelings." I must seek HIM to create in me a heart that is choosing to be joyful and thankful, even when things are NOT going "my way." HE is letting me know that when I choose JOY in the middle of my storms, I will rise above, and when I seek HIS vision, I will gain HIS perspective, and the things that I once "thought" were such a big deal, end up being nothing at all.
"Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger" James 1:19
HE is teaching me that the only that I will be able to achieve this very thought is by choosing to see with HIS vision, and in return gaining HIS perspective. HE is wanting me to know that gaining HIS perspective has been HIS plan, and HIS purpose written specifically for me as it is HIS will that things happen the way they do. Once again HE is giving me HIS blessed assurance, that even when the storms roll in, the waters rise, and the waves crash HE is there. HE is telling me that it is in the midst of the storms of my life, that I must choose to see the happenings in my life through HIS perspective.
When you are in tribulation, and all these things come upon you in the latter days, you will return to the Lord your God and obey his voice. For the Lord your God is a merciful God. He will not leave you or destroy you or forget the covenant with your fathers that he swore to them." Deuteronomy 4:30-31
In choosing to live with HIS perspective He is letting me know that this means I must continue to pray to HIM as that is when I am showing HIM that my heart, soul, and mind are truly open to HIS teachings, and it is then that HE can do HIS good works in me, and through me. HE is wanting me to know that I must be willing to live out each of my days ready to do HIS work, even when I don't "feel" like it.
It is NO surprise to me that today's Power Thought is about being thankful in the midst of suffering.
" give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you." 1 Thessalonians 5:18
HE is wanting me to know that I must choose to be thankful NO matter what is happening in my life. HE is reminding me once again, that even the storms of my life, have been written specifically for me, NOT just HIS blessings. HE is telling me that every single happening in my life has been on purpose, as it is HIS purpose for my life. HE is letting me know that every thing that happens in my life, right or wrong, it is ALL HIS will for my life.
I am learning that this is the very reason why I must seek HIS vision, and gain and keep HIS perspective as to why things are happening in the manner that they are. I am learning that this means that I must choose to rise able the storms that are raging in my life, and cast ALL of my burdens onto HIM, as HE has proven HIMSELF time and again to me, that HE truly does care for me.
"Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. Be sober-minded;be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world. And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himselfrestore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. To him be the dominion forever and ever. Amen." 1 Peter 5:6-11
In looking back on the past year of HIS Daily Teachings, I am seeing things through HIS perspective. In reading the above scripture I am able to fully know and understand what it is telling me to do. I am understanding in a way that I never have before the importance of keeping myself humble. The importance of telling my problems how BIG my GOD truly is! The importance of taking my thoughts captive, and allowing HIM to cleanse my heart, soul, and mind. The importance of guarding mind, and NOT allowing the enemy to infiltrate his lies into my thoughts and thus allowing them into my heart. I am understanding the utmost importance of standing firm in my FAITH, and seeking HIS vision for my life, and gaining and keeping HIS perspective, in knowing that everything that is happening in my life, is for me and NOT happening to me. I am comforted in reading HIS words this morning that my suffering won't be forever, and that HE will use my greatest hurts to grow and strengthen my FAITH in HIM. I am thankful that HIS mercies are new every morning, and that HIS grace is all sufficient for me.
Today I am so incredibly blessed to be living the life I am living. I am so thankful to be able to see things through HIS perspective, and to see just how far I have come. I am comforted to know that even though I may NOT be where I need to be, I am surely NOT anywhere near where I used to be. I am thankful that while I was once, lost, broken, and alone, I am NO longer lost, as I have been rescued! I am NOT broken, as my FAITH in HIM is growing by leaps and bounds each and every day that I am seeking HIM, and allowing HIM to teach, lead, and guide me. I am NOT alone, as I know that HE is there, and HE is blessing me with HIS vision so that I am able to see the things that are happening in my life with HIS perspective.
Dear Friends, I pray today that if you too are asking HIM "why" that you will seek HIS vision so that you may see things through HIS perspective. I pray that you will have the courage to rise above your problems, and cast ALL of your burdens and anxieties on HIM, as HE truly does care for you, and HE will show you that HE truly does know and love you best. I pray that you will be filled with HIS peace, and comfort as you continue on your journey towards wholeness with HIM. I pray that you will know and see "why" when you seek HIM, and gain, and keep HIS perspective for your life.
With much, love, prayers, understanding, and blessings,
Heather
I remember it had been one of the darkest days of my existence. My two oldest daughters were 1 & 2, and D was working about an hour away. For the past week I had been "planning" my exit of this cruel world. I had been going over and over my "plan." However, the more I went over it, the more I could see that it wouldn't work, as I didn't want to hurt my precious little girls. Feeling so defeated, as if I couldn't even die to end my pain, I sat on the couch and watched my little girls playing. It was when D got home from work, that he took my hand and said, "Hey lets get out of here, and go for a walk." I remember crying, and thinking, "he doesn't even see how much pain I'm in."
As we began walking, I remember looking up to the beautiful blue sky, and asking HIM "GOD why am I still here?" I remember the gut wrenching pain that I felt that day, and I remember the softness, and gentleness of D's words, and his loving touch that he placed on me that day. I remember our sweet little girls playing, and laughing, and I remember begging to be taken out of this world.
Since our family walk this past Sunday, HE has been teaching me all about HIS perspective. The more I "tried" to read my current bible study, the more HE took me back into my past, and reminded me of that very question I asked HIM.
HIS Daily Teachings today is answering that question, and once again I am learning that just as with everything else that HE has been teaching me, I know that I am able to understand what HE is telling me, just by choosing to keep HIS perspective when it comes to my life.
HE is wanting me to know that HE understands "why" I have felt the way I have, and "why" I have asked the questions I have. Once again HE is capturing my attention and creating in me a heart for HIS vision, so that I am able to see things as HE sees them. In seeking HIS vision for my life, HE is giving me that answer as to "why" GOD am I still here."
Just by looking at my life, and where I am today, I know that I am still here because HE has amazing plans for my life. Plans of which include being a Mama of HIS amazing 5. I am learning that it has all been a part of HIS plan, and HIS purpose for my life. It has been HIS will for me to go through the tests and trials that I have so that when I was blessed to receive and live with HIS perspective, I would then have a heart full of gratitude and thanks, as HE is proving that HE really does love and know me best. That HE really does work everything out for my good.
It has been looking back on my greatest hurts and pains of my life, that seeing them through HIS perspective, I am finally understanding that I am truly HIS work in progress. I am comforted to know that I don't have to have it all worked out, as HE already does. I am so thankful to be able to say that my story, HIS Story has already been written, and I am blessed to be living it!
Yesterday morning D and I had an argument, one of which I started. It was because I didn't choose JOY in the situation, that things got quickly heated, and unwholesome thoughts, and words began to creep out of me. Thankfully, because HE loves me too much to let me totally derail, and self destruct, HE kept HIS hand tightly over my mouth. I ended up going to my room, venting, to HIM and my daughter, ALL of my frustrations, and sadly, I didn't keep my words wholesome.
When I finished my venting session, it was then I felt HIS presence, and HE began to speak to my heart. In speaking to my heart, HE was letting me know that the very thing that was upsetting me, was NOT something that D did maliciously to me. In fact, just the opposite, however in my foolish thinking, I took things the wrong way, and acted out my foolish thinking. Thankfully before I took things too far, HE captured my attention, and began to let me see the circumstances through HIS perspective.
This morning HE is once again reminding me that I must choose JOY no matter what is happening in my life. I am learning once again that I must obey HIM, as HE truly does know what is best for me, and I know that HIS plan, and HIS purpose for my life is far greater than anything I could have ever dreamt of on my own.
"But Peter and the apostles answered, “We must obey God rather than men." Acts 5:29
In keeping HIS perspective HE is teaching me that I must choose to take captive my thoughts, and NOT just blurt out my "feelings." I must seek HIM to create in me a heart that is choosing to be joyful and thankful, even when things are NOT going "my way." HE is letting me know that when I choose JOY in the middle of my storms, I will rise above, and when I seek HIS vision, I will gain HIS perspective, and the things that I once "thought" were such a big deal, end up being nothing at all.
"Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger" James 1:19
HE is teaching me that the only that I will be able to achieve this very thought is by choosing to see with HIS vision, and in return gaining HIS perspective. HE is wanting me to know that gaining HIS perspective has been HIS plan, and HIS purpose written specifically for me as it is HIS will that things happen the way they do. Once again HE is giving me HIS blessed assurance, that even when the storms roll in, the waters rise, and the waves crash HE is there. HE is telling me that it is in the midst of the storms of my life, that I must choose to see the happenings in my life through HIS perspective.
When you are in tribulation, and all these things come upon you in the latter days, you will return to the Lord your God and obey his voice. For the Lord your God is a merciful God. He will not leave you or destroy you or forget the covenant with your fathers that he swore to them." Deuteronomy 4:30-31
In choosing to live with HIS perspective He is letting me know that this means I must continue to pray to HIM as that is when I am showing HIM that my heart, soul, and mind are truly open to HIS teachings, and it is then that HE can do HIS good works in me, and through me. HE is wanting me to know that I must be willing to live out each of my days ready to do HIS work, even when I don't "feel" like it.
It is NO surprise to me that today's Power Thought is about being thankful in the midst of suffering.
" give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you." 1 Thessalonians 5:18
HE is wanting me to know that I must choose to be thankful NO matter what is happening in my life. HE is reminding me once again, that even the storms of my life, have been written specifically for me, NOT just HIS blessings. HE is telling me that every single happening in my life has been on purpose, as it is HIS purpose for my life. HE is letting me know that every thing that happens in my life, right or wrong, it is ALL HIS will for my life.
I am learning that this is the very reason why I must seek HIS vision, and gain and keep HIS perspective as to why things are happening in the manner that they are. I am learning that this means that I must choose to rise able the storms that are raging in my life, and cast ALL of my burdens onto HIM, as HE has proven HIMSELF time and again to me, that HE truly does care for me.
"Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. Be sober-minded;be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world. And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himselfrestore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. To him be the dominion forever and ever. Amen." 1 Peter 5:6-11
In looking back on the past year of HIS Daily Teachings, I am seeing things through HIS perspective. In reading the above scripture I am able to fully know and understand what it is telling me to do. I am understanding in a way that I never have before the importance of keeping myself humble. The importance of telling my problems how BIG my GOD truly is! The importance of taking my thoughts captive, and allowing HIM to cleanse my heart, soul, and mind. The importance of guarding mind, and NOT allowing the enemy to infiltrate his lies into my thoughts and thus allowing them into my heart. I am understanding the utmost importance of standing firm in my FAITH, and seeking HIS vision for my life, and gaining and keeping HIS perspective, in knowing that everything that is happening in my life, is for me and NOT happening to me. I am comforted in reading HIS words this morning that my suffering won't be forever, and that HE will use my greatest hurts to grow and strengthen my FAITH in HIM. I am thankful that HIS mercies are new every morning, and that HIS grace is all sufficient for me.
Today I am so incredibly blessed to be living the life I am living. I am so thankful to be able to see things through HIS perspective, and to see just how far I have come. I am comforted to know that even though I may NOT be where I need to be, I am surely NOT anywhere near where I used to be. I am thankful that while I was once, lost, broken, and alone, I am NO longer lost, as I have been rescued! I am NOT broken, as my FAITH in HIM is growing by leaps and bounds each and every day that I am seeking HIM, and allowing HIM to teach, lead, and guide me. I am NOT alone, as I know that HE is there, and HE is blessing me with HIS vision so that I am able to see the things that are happening in my life with HIS perspective.
Dear Friends, I pray today that if you too are asking HIM "why" that you will seek HIS vision so that you may see things through HIS perspective. I pray that you will have the courage to rise above your problems, and cast ALL of your burdens and anxieties on HIM, as HE truly does care for you, and HE will show you that HE truly does know and love you best. I pray that you will be filled with HIS peace, and comfort as you continue on your journey towards wholeness with HIM. I pray that you will know and see "why" when you seek HIM, and gain, and keep HIS perspective for your life.
With much, love, prayers, understanding, and blessings,
Heather
Saturday, May 24, 2014
One Year Ago..... Today..... Blessed
This morning as soon as I began to journal today's date, I realized that today marks the start of the year of breakthrough's that HE would take me through. As I wrote what was on my heart, HE began to speak to me, and let me know that what I was journaling was HIS Daily Teachings for today.
Today, I have written to HIM about One Year Ago.... Today.... and Blessed, as that has been my life for the past year. Today my heart is overwhelmed by HIS goodness, and I am in awe of HIS constant unfailing love and grace that HE has been pouring on me, in me, and through me daily. Today I will share with you what my LORD and SAVIOR, JESUS CHRIST has done for my life for the past year.
One Year Ago, I surrendered ALL of me to HIM.
One Year Ago, began the breakthrough that I so desperately needed.
One Year Ago, my life was coming apart at the seams.
One Year Ago, I was lost....
One Year Ago, HE found me....
One Year Ago, I was rescued by HIM!
One Year Ago, I was given a voice by HIM.
One Year Ago, I began my journey towards wholeness with HIM.
One Year Ago, HE began to strengthen and grew my faith in HIM.
One Year Ago, HE said to me, "Heather TRUST ME, I got you!"
One Year Ago, I was reborn!
One Year Ago, I became a warrior of HIS army!
One Year Ago, I realized I was HIS Daughter, The Daughter of the KING!
One Year Ago, I realized HE is my DADDY!
One Year Ago, I was saved by HIS AMAZING GRACE!
One Year Ago, HE began to unlock the prison of lies I was in.
One Year Ago, I saw HIS light shining!
One Year Ago, I began to see HIS light shining in me!
One Year Ago, I took the first step in letting HIS light shine through me.
One Year Ago, I was a complete and total broken and HOTT mess.
Today, I am HIS beautiful message!
Today, my life is HIS message of HOPE!
Today, I no longer hide from HIS light!
Today, I let HIS light shine in me, and through me!
Today, I have decided to follow JESUS!
Today, I will continue on my journey towards wholeness with HIM!
Today, I will choose to stand firm in my faith in HIM!
Today, I know that HE truly is WHO HE says HE is!
Today, I am seeking HIM, with ALL that I am, and ALL that I have!
Today, my life is being lived for HIS glory!
Today, I am seeking HIM, to know HIM more!
Today, my hearts cry is to be like HIM!
Today, my hearts cry is for others to see HIM in me!
Today, my hearts cry is for there to be so much more of HIM, and so much less of me!
Today, I am running straight to HIS arms!
Today, I am seeking HIM to teach, lead, and guide me through every single step of my day!
Today, I am reflecting on the year of blessings and favor that have been poured over my life!
Today, I am thankful for the many breakthroughs that HE has taken me through!
Today, I can truly say that "it is well with my soul" as I know that the story, HIS STORY of my life has already been written, and I am blessed enough to be living it!
Today, I am overwhelmed with gratitude and thanks to HIM for leading me on this amazing journey of discovery, redemption, faithfulness, love, all because of HIS unfailing love and grace for me. It has been through the very book that brought me HIS message of HOPE that I have been able to write HIS Daily Teachings for almost a year now.
HE is wanting me to remember that if ever I find myself in the desert, feeling lost and alone, I must remember that HE is The Fountain of life! HE is wanting me to know that HIS light is always shining for me, and that I all I have to do is look up and HIS light will shine in me, and when I seek HIS will for my life, HIS light will shine through me. HE is wanting me to remember that HIS WORD is what brings life to my soul!
HE is telling me that if it seems that I am making more mistakes than doing HIS good works, I must remember that it's not about getting it right away, rather studying HIS word, and living out HIS word.
Today I am so incredibly blessed to know that no matter how many times I fail, I am being caught up in HIS grace, and that HIS love for me is ever lasting. I am so incredibly blessed to have been given this amazing life to live, and to know that HE loves me way too much to ever let me "think" that I have done all the growing I could possibly do. Today I am so incredibly blessed by HIS blessed assurance, that HE is mine, and because of that I know that everything that happens in my life has been on purpose, for HIS purpose, and even when it brings pain, hurt, and tears to my life, I am able to say with HIS true confidence that everything that has happened, is happening, and will happen in my life has been for me, and NOT to harm me. I am so incredibly blessed by HIS blessed assurance that of which Satan has "tried" and failed miserably to wipe me out with, HE has been, is, and will continue to make me even stronger than I was yesterday. I am so incredibly blessed to serve my loving SAVIOR, who teaches me daily how to be more like HIM. I am so incredibly blessed to be given HIS amazing gift of writing this blog, and sharing my journey with all of you.
Dear friends, I pray today that if you are feeling, lost, broken, and alone that you will have the courage to look up, and see HIS light that is shining for you. I pray that when you finally see HIS light, you will know that HIS light in shining for you, and that HE is wanting to shine HIS light in you. I pray that you will have the courage to surrender to HIM, and ask HIM to be the LORD and SAVIOR of your life. I pray that when you do HIS light will shine in you, and when you allow HIM to lead you that HIS light will shine through you. I pray today that HIS story of your life as it is written will be HIS message of HOPE that HE is growing and strengthening in you to share with others. I pray for HIS blessings and favor to be poured over your life when you choose to answer HIS calling for your life, and when you begin to live your life on purpose which is HIS purpose written specifically for you. I pray that today starts the journey of your One Year Ago... Today... Blessed..... year of breakthroughs!
in prayer and love,
Heather
Today, I have written to HIM about One Year Ago.... Today.... and Blessed, as that has been my life for the past year. Today my heart is overwhelmed by HIS goodness, and I am in awe of HIS constant unfailing love and grace that HE has been pouring on me, in me, and through me daily. Today I will share with you what my LORD and SAVIOR, JESUS CHRIST has done for my life for the past year.
One Year Ago, I surrendered ALL of me to HIM.
One Year Ago, began the breakthrough that I so desperately needed.
One Year Ago, my life was coming apart at the seams.
One Year Ago, I was lost....
One Year Ago, HE found me....
One Year Ago, I was rescued by HIM!
One Year Ago, I was given a voice by HIM.
One Year Ago, I began my journey towards wholeness with HIM.
One Year Ago, HE began to strengthen and grew my faith in HIM.
One Year Ago, HE said to me, "Heather TRUST ME, I got you!"
One Year Ago, I was reborn!
One Year Ago, I became a warrior of HIS army!
One Year Ago, I realized I was HIS Daughter, The Daughter of the KING!
One Year Ago, I realized HE is my DADDY!
One Year Ago, I was saved by HIS AMAZING GRACE!
One Year Ago, HE began to unlock the prison of lies I was in.
One Year Ago, I saw HIS light shining!
One Year Ago, I began to see HIS light shining in me!
One Year Ago, I took the first step in letting HIS light shine through me.
One Year Ago, I was a complete and total broken and HOTT mess.
Today, I am HIS beautiful message!
Today, my life is HIS message of HOPE!
Today, I no longer hide from HIS light!
Today, I let HIS light shine in me, and through me!
Today, I have decided to follow JESUS!
Today, I will continue on my journey towards wholeness with HIM!
Today, I will choose to stand firm in my faith in HIM!
Today, I know that HE truly is WHO HE says HE is!
Today, I am seeking HIM, with ALL that I am, and ALL that I have!
Today, my life is being lived for HIS glory!
Today, I am seeking HIM, to know HIM more!
Today, my hearts cry is to be like HIM!
Today, my hearts cry is for others to see HIM in me!
Today, my hearts cry is for there to be so much more of HIM, and so much less of me!
Today, I am running straight to HIS arms!
Today, I am seeking HIM to teach, lead, and guide me through every single step of my day!
Today, I am reflecting on the year of blessings and favor that have been poured over my life!
Today, I am thankful for the many breakthroughs that HE has taken me through!
Today, I can truly say that "it is well with my soul" as I know that the story, HIS STORY of my life has already been written, and I am blessed enough to be living it!
Today, I am overwhelmed with gratitude and thanks to HIM for leading me on this amazing journey of discovery, redemption, faithfulness, love, all because of HIS unfailing love and grace for me. It has been through the very book that brought me HIS message of HOPE that I have been able to write HIS Daily Teachings for almost a year now.
HE is wanting me to remember that if ever I find myself in the desert, feeling lost and alone, I must remember that HE is The Fountain of life! HE is wanting me to know that HIS light is always shining for me, and that I all I have to do is look up and HIS light will shine in me, and when I seek HIS will for my life, HIS light will shine through me. HE is wanting me to remember that HIS WORD is what brings life to my soul!
HE is telling me that if it seems that I am making more mistakes than doing HIS good works, I must remember that it's not about getting it right away, rather studying HIS word, and living out HIS word.
Today I am so incredibly blessed to know that no matter how many times I fail, I am being caught up in HIS grace, and that HIS love for me is ever lasting. I am so incredibly blessed to have been given this amazing life to live, and to know that HE loves me way too much to ever let me "think" that I have done all the growing I could possibly do. Today I am so incredibly blessed by HIS blessed assurance, that HE is mine, and because of that I know that everything that happens in my life has been on purpose, for HIS purpose, and even when it brings pain, hurt, and tears to my life, I am able to say with HIS true confidence that everything that has happened, is happening, and will happen in my life has been for me, and NOT to harm me. I am so incredibly blessed by HIS blessed assurance that of which Satan has "tried" and failed miserably to wipe me out with, HE has been, is, and will continue to make me even stronger than I was yesterday. I am so incredibly blessed to serve my loving SAVIOR, who teaches me daily how to be more like HIM. I am so incredibly blessed to be given HIS amazing gift of writing this blog, and sharing my journey with all of you.
Dear friends, I pray today that if you are feeling, lost, broken, and alone that you will have the courage to look up, and see HIS light that is shining for you. I pray that when you finally see HIS light, you will know that HIS light in shining for you, and that HE is wanting to shine HIS light in you. I pray that you will have the courage to surrender to HIM, and ask HIM to be the LORD and SAVIOR of your life. I pray that when you do HIS light will shine in you, and when you allow HIM to lead you that HIS light will shine through you. I pray today that HIS story of your life as it is written will be HIS message of HOPE that HE is growing and strengthening in you to share with others. I pray for HIS blessings and favor to be poured over your life when you choose to answer HIS calling for your life, and when you begin to live your life on purpose which is HIS purpose written specifically for you. I pray that today starts the journey of your One Year Ago... Today... Blessed..... year of breakthroughs!
in prayer and love,
Heather
Wednesday, May 21, 2014
filter of love
Hi allow me to introduce myself as I haven't before. My name is Heather, and I suffer from severe cases of diarrhea of the mouth. This means that I have a horrible tendency to speak before I even have a complete thought. I speak hurtful, harmful, degrading, anger filled, life stealing awful words. This is when I become someone that D has penned "Brunhilda"
"Brunhilda," is my anger, she is the me, who shoots off her mouth, and doesn't care about how anyone else will feel, as long as she gets her point across, and takes back the control that she is needing. Just typing this out, and admitting to this, is so embarrassing for me, as this is NOT who I want to be. Thankfully my HEAVENLY FATHER WHO knows and loves me best, is taking through this season of learning to control my anger so that it doesn't control me.
HIS Daily Teachings today is taking me back to see how I really behave, and how I really react to situations where my anger and rage have gotten out of control. HE is wanting me to know that it is time that I realize that HE will test my mind and heart to ensure that I am welcoming HIS correction when it comes to speaking with HIS filter of love, instead of the brutal honesty I was raised with.
"Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end" Proverbs 29:11
"Our demeanor can be a temperament influenced by anger." Annie Chapman "A Woman's Answer to Anger"
HE is showing me that when I lose my temper when in fact I am fully aware that I need to be holding my temper, too often in my foolish pride, I decide(as if my decisions are the only way) that it's more important that my "feelings" are known then it is for HIS grace to be extended. YIKES!!!! This is hard for me, as I realize that I am more "feelings" lead then I am allowing myself to be lead by HIS HOLY SPIRIT. All too often when the anger and rage are built up inside of me, no matter how loud the voice is telling me to STOP, I...... just.go.there.......
HE is wanting me to know today that brutal honesty is NOT from HIM, but rather gentle, loving honesty that is spoken through HIS filter of love is. HE is telling me that in my quest to be brutally honest I have become an unkind, and hurtful person to those of whom I encounter. Sadly it is those who I encounter that they fall victim to my brutal honesty.
I was raised by people who they too felt the incessant need to be brutally honest, in doing so, I myself have struggled with self-esteem issues for as long as I can remember. In seeking to be more like HIM, I am learning that it's NOT only thinking like HIM, but also speaking like HIM. HE is wanting me to know that I must NEVER "think" that my brutal honesty is being righteous, as it is really just me tearing into someone with my words and doing more harm than good.
HE is teaching me that I must choose to speak words of encouragement and build people up. HE is letting me know that this has been HIS plan for my life all along. HE is wanting me to know that this is the very reason why I am being tested so often with encountering difficult people. In knowing this I can admit that I find most everyone that I encounter, including my family are in my eyes difficult. Thankfully I am seeking HIS vision and am learning to see them through HIS eyes.
"The tactic of seeming to be virtuous while not acting in a godly manner is not that uncommon." Annie Chapman "A Woman's Answer to Anger"
Oh how I am so guilty of living this way. HE is showing me that in "thinking" that I am being brutally honest to "help" someone, all I am really doing is keeping me from being the BEST me I can be. I am learning that in choosing to speak in brutal honesty, I am failing to see them through HIS eyes. This is why I know that I must choose to put on, and speak through HIS filter of love.
HE is teaching me that when I am in doubt of what I should say, the best thing I can do for someone is extend HIS grace to them, as that is the same grace that HE extends to me daily. HE is wanting me to remember how many times I have failed, and HE has loved me through all of it. HE is telling me that just as I have been forgiven, even for the greatest offenses in my life, other people are worthy of that same forgiveness from me. That the grace, love, mercy, and hope that I am blessed with every single day must be passed on to the broken, lost, and other hurting people that are in need of HIS love. HE is letting me know that I will be passing on HIS message of HOPE when I choose to speak through HIS filter of love.
"Does the Lord delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices as much as in obeying the Lord? To obey is better than sacrifice" 1 Samuel 15:22
HE is teaching me that in seeking HIM and HIS Daily Teachings for my life, and making time for HIM in my life doesn't mean anything unless I am willing to live out HIS Daily Teachings for my life. HE is wanting me to know that it doesn't matter how much I learn and know, rather it's about how I choose to live out HIS teachings for my life. I now know and understand why it is so important that I choose to speak through HIS filter of love.
"Whether it is hiding behind disobedience and justifying it as a spiritual act or using the excuse of "honesty" to justify unkind words and attitudes of anger, too often we do the same." Annie Chapman "A Woman's Answer to Anger"
Each time I type out the authors name, and the title of the book, it takes me back to that day in Good Will when I first laid eyes on the book. I remember feeling like defeated, ashamed, and embarrassed to even be purchasing the book. However, the next morning when I began to read it, I felt HIS presence and it was then that I knew that once again HE was doing this for me, and NOT to me.
HE is reminding me of that day as HIS proof of how much HE loves me, and because I am seeking HIM Daily and being filled with HIS love, I know this is why HE is teaching me the importance of choosing to speak through HIS filter of love. HE is telling me that this is why just because I am thinking it, doesn't mean I "need" to say it.
This morning HE is reminding me once again the importance of learning to control my thoughts so that I will then be able to control my mouth. HE is reminding me once again through a teaching that HE has been teaching me for quite some time.
T.H.I.N.K. has been apart of my life for going on six years now. Today however, is the first day where I am understanding WHY I must choose to T.H.I.N.K. before I speak. Once again HE is literally spelling it out for me what it means.
T ~ Is is true? Am I speaking HIS truth, NOT my version of truth.
H ~ Is is helpful? Am I really speaking to help someone, or is it my "need" to be heard?
I ~ Is it inspiring? I will be honest that I never really understood the meaning of that until today, as I know that I am to speaking words of life, and not of death. To be encouraging, and building people up and NOT tearing them down. That I must look back into my past and remember how that feels so that I will NOT pass on those same self-esteem struggles to the people that I encounter. So that in choosing to speak through HIS filter of love I, Heather will shut down the anger and rage that has wreaked havoc through my family for many generations.
N ~ Is it necessary? Or is it just me "needing" to be right? YIKES! eh, guilty!
K ~ Is it kind? Am I really being kind? Am I really speaking words that are loving, and encouraging, or am I being "helpful," and really do more harm than good?
Yesterday was a perfect example where I should have chosen to T.H.I.N.K. before I spoke. In not choosing to do so, I tore into, torn down, and ripped apart someone without even realizing the damage that I was doing. Thankfully HE captured my attention, and let me know that just as I received HIS loving, unending grace, and unfailing love, I too must be willing to extend that same blessing to others. It was then that I apologized for my horrible behavior, and asked for their forgiveness. I know understand that in choosing to do things HIS way I am choosing to speak through HIS filter of love.
HE is wanting me to remember that when I chose to become a CHRIST FOLLOWER I agreed that I would put on a new nature, and in doing so that means I would do things HIS way. HE is telling me that the only way I should choose to speak is through HIS filter of love.
HE is reminding me that the "old" me spoke out right, and directly to people, not caring how they would feel. HE is letting me know that back then it was more important that I be brutally honest, after all, they should be thanking me for being so "helpful." Oh my goodness, it's gettin real up in here!
In choosing to be CHRIST FOLLOWER and choosing to be strengthened in my FAITH every single day, I know that I am to be living with my new nature, which is HIS nature. I know that when I choose to put on on HIS nature, this means that I must let go of doing and saying things my way, and choosing to think as HE thinks, and to speak through HIS filter of love.
HE is showing me that in choosing to speak with brutal honesty, I have provoked others to anger. HE is telling me that NOT only do I struggle with anger, but without even realizing it, I project that anger onto others. HE is wanting me to understand that in choosing to speak in anger and NOT love, I spread a deadly contagious anger, one that is designed to wipe everyone out.
I am learning that I must choose to speak through HIS filter of love, so that I will be doing my part in stopping the spread of the anger and rage that has been wreaking havoc in my family for generations. Once again HE is reminding me that it all starts with me, and that in choosing to live with Contagious FAITH, I will be modeling HIS love for others, and they too will want to seek HIM, and HIS will for their lives, and they too will be able to speak through HIS filter of love.
"Since when is doing what comes naturally a good thing?" Annie Chapman "A Woman's Answer to Anger"
Impulsive speaking is something that I have struggled with for so much of my life. HE is wanting me to know that in choosing HIS will for my life means that I must choose to speak through HIS filter of love, and NOT speak through my "feelings."
"For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out." Romans 7:18
Today's reading explained this perfectly to me, "It is a good thing to fight our natural impulses to do and say the first thing that comes to our mind." Annie Chapman "A Woman's Answer to Anger"
"Our lives are like gardens. If we want to have a peaceful productive life, free from the life-stealing weeds of anger, we have to constantly be in the fight against our natural tendencies." Annie Chapman "A Woman's Answer to Anger"
HE is wanting me to know that this is especially true to my marriage to D. I must choose to resist my natural impulses to be brutally honest and instead put on HIS nature, and speak through HIS filter of love, so that life will be poured into our marriage. HE is wanting me to know that in choosing to speak this way, doesn't mean that I will be suppressing my anger, but rather I in choosing to speak through HIS filter of love, proves that I am becoming more spiritually mature. As it is written that it is one of the fruit's of the spirit.
"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law." Galatians 5:22-23
HE is teaching me that instead of allowing my natural tendency for an outburst of angst to flow freely, I do both D and I a favor and bite my tongue by either remaining silent or choosing to speak through HIS filter of love.
Through HIS loving teachings today HE is reminding me once again what HE says about giving into my anger.
"Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end." Proverbs 29:11
"If our feelings can't be delivered with the right spirit and motive, then we should be quiet and wait until we are able to be "gently honest." Annie Chapman "A Woman's Answer to Anger"
I am so thankful to be learning that I must learn to make honesty my friend and NOT my foe. I am so thankful that HE loves me enough to continue to teach me what I am doing wrong, and building me strong through many tests and trials to withstand the things that bring anger to me, and helping me put into practice self-control. I am so incredibly thankful for HIS gift of speak through HIS filter of love, so that through me generations of life ending unwholesome speech is ending.
Dear friends I pray that in a world where all we hear is to speak your mind, and who cares who you hurt in the process is being shoved down our throats, I pray that you will know that it is NOT what GOD's best is for your life. I pray that you will seek HIM, and ask HIM to soften your heart, and to help you see people through HIS vision, so that you too will be able to speak through HIS filter of love. I pray today that the anger that festers inside of you will be calmed, when you practice being calm by choosing self-control. I pray for HIS blessings and favor to be poured over your life because of your obedience.
love and blessings,
Heather
"Brunhilda," is my anger, she is the me, who shoots off her mouth, and doesn't care about how anyone else will feel, as long as she gets her point across, and takes back the control that she is needing. Just typing this out, and admitting to this, is so embarrassing for me, as this is NOT who I want to be. Thankfully my HEAVENLY FATHER WHO knows and loves me best, is taking through this season of learning to control my anger so that it doesn't control me.
HIS Daily Teachings today is taking me back to see how I really behave, and how I really react to situations where my anger and rage have gotten out of control. HE is wanting me to know that it is time that I realize that HE will test my mind and heart to ensure that I am welcoming HIS correction when it comes to speaking with HIS filter of love, instead of the brutal honesty I was raised with.
"Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end" Proverbs 29:11
"Our demeanor can be a temperament influenced by anger." Annie Chapman "A Woman's Answer to Anger"
HE is showing me that when I lose my temper when in fact I am fully aware that I need to be holding my temper, too often in my foolish pride, I decide(as if my decisions are the only way) that it's more important that my "feelings" are known then it is for HIS grace to be extended. YIKES!!!! This is hard for me, as I realize that I am more "feelings" lead then I am allowing myself to be lead by HIS HOLY SPIRIT. All too often when the anger and rage are built up inside of me, no matter how loud the voice is telling me to STOP, I...... just.go.there.......
HE is wanting me to know today that brutal honesty is NOT from HIM, but rather gentle, loving honesty that is spoken through HIS filter of love is. HE is telling me that in my quest to be brutally honest I have become an unkind, and hurtful person to those of whom I encounter. Sadly it is those who I encounter that they fall victim to my brutal honesty.
I was raised by people who they too felt the incessant need to be brutally honest, in doing so, I myself have struggled with self-esteem issues for as long as I can remember. In seeking to be more like HIM, I am learning that it's NOT only thinking like HIM, but also speaking like HIM. HE is wanting me to know that I must NEVER "think" that my brutal honesty is being righteous, as it is really just me tearing into someone with my words and doing more harm than good.
HE is teaching me that I must choose to speak words of encouragement and build people up. HE is letting me know that this has been HIS plan for my life all along. HE is wanting me to know that this is the very reason why I am being tested so often with encountering difficult people. In knowing this I can admit that I find most everyone that I encounter, including my family are in my eyes difficult. Thankfully I am seeking HIS vision and am learning to see them through HIS eyes.
"The tactic of seeming to be virtuous while not acting in a godly manner is not that uncommon." Annie Chapman "A Woman's Answer to Anger"
Oh how I am so guilty of living this way. HE is showing me that in "thinking" that I am being brutally honest to "help" someone, all I am really doing is keeping me from being the BEST me I can be. I am learning that in choosing to speak in brutal honesty, I am failing to see them through HIS eyes. This is why I know that I must choose to put on, and speak through HIS filter of love.
HE is teaching me that when I am in doubt of what I should say, the best thing I can do for someone is extend HIS grace to them, as that is the same grace that HE extends to me daily. HE is wanting me to remember how many times I have failed, and HE has loved me through all of it. HE is telling me that just as I have been forgiven, even for the greatest offenses in my life, other people are worthy of that same forgiveness from me. That the grace, love, mercy, and hope that I am blessed with every single day must be passed on to the broken, lost, and other hurting people that are in need of HIS love. HE is letting me know that I will be passing on HIS message of HOPE when I choose to speak through HIS filter of love.
"Does the Lord delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices as much as in obeying the Lord? To obey is better than sacrifice" 1 Samuel 15:22
HE is teaching me that in seeking HIM and HIS Daily Teachings for my life, and making time for HIM in my life doesn't mean anything unless I am willing to live out HIS Daily Teachings for my life. HE is wanting me to know that it doesn't matter how much I learn and know, rather it's about how I choose to live out HIS teachings for my life. I now know and understand why it is so important that I choose to speak through HIS filter of love.
"Whether it is hiding behind disobedience and justifying it as a spiritual act or using the excuse of "honesty" to justify unkind words and attitudes of anger, too often we do the same." Annie Chapman "A Woman's Answer to Anger"
Each time I type out the authors name, and the title of the book, it takes me back to that day in Good Will when I first laid eyes on the book. I remember feeling like defeated, ashamed, and embarrassed to even be purchasing the book. However, the next morning when I began to read it, I felt HIS presence and it was then that I knew that once again HE was doing this for me, and NOT to me.
HE is reminding me of that day as HIS proof of how much HE loves me, and because I am seeking HIM Daily and being filled with HIS love, I know this is why HE is teaching me the importance of choosing to speak through HIS filter of love. HE is telling me that this is why just because I am thinking it, doesn't mean I "need" to say it.
This morning HE is reminding me once again the importance of learning to control my thoughts so that I will then be able to control my mouth. HE is reminding me once again through a teaching that HE has been teaching me for quite some time.
T.H.I.N.K. has been apart of my life for going on six years now. Today however, is the first day where I am understanding WHY I must choose to T.H.I.N.K. before I speak. Once again HE is literally spelling it out for me what it means.
T ~ Is is true? Am I speaking HIS truth, NOT my version of truth.
H ~ Is is helpful? Am I really speaking to help someone, or is it my "need" to be heard?
I ~ Is it inspiring? I will be honest that I never really understood the meaning of that until today, as I know that I am to speaking words of life, and not of death. To be encouraging, and building people up and NOT tearing them down. That I must look back into my past and remember how that feels so that I will NOT pass on those same self-esteem struggles to the people that I encounter. So that in choosing to speak through HIS filter of love I, Heather will shut down the anger and rage that has wreaked havoc through my family for many generations.
N ~ Is it necessary? Or is it just me "needing" to be right? YIKES! eh, guilty!
K ~ Is it kind? Am I really being kind? Am I really speaking words that are loving, and encouraging, or am I being "helpful," and really do more harm than good?
Yesterday was a perfect example where I should have chosen to T.H.I.N.K. before I spoke. In not choosing to do so, I tore into, torn down, and ripped apart someone without even realizing the damage that I was doing. Thankfully HE captured my attention, and let me know that just as I received HIS loving, unending grace, and unfailing love, I too must be willing to extend that same blessing to others. It was then that I apologized for my horrible behavior, and asked for their forgiveness. I know understand that in choosing to do things HIS way I am choosing to speak through HIS filter of love.
HE is wanting me to remember that when I chose to become a CHRIST FOLLOWER I agreed that I would put on a new nature, and in doing so that means I would do things HIS way. HE is telling me that the only way I should choose to speak is through HIS filter of love.
HE is reminding me that the "old" me spoke out right, and directly to people, not caring how they would feel. HE is letting me know that back then it was more important that I be brutally honest, after all, they should be thanking me for being so "helpful." Oh my goodness, it's gettin real up in here!
In choosing to be CHRIST FOLLOWER and choosing to be strengthened in my FAITH every single day, I know that I am to be living with my new nature, which is HIS nature. I know that when I choose to put on on HIS nature, this means that I must let go of doing and saying things my way, and choosing to think as HE thinks, and to speak through HIS filter of love.
HE is showing me that in choosing to speak with brutal honesty, I have provoked others to anger. HE is telling me that NOT only do I struggle with anger, but without even realizing it, I project that anger onto others. HE is wanting me to understand that in choosing to speak in anger and NOT love, I spread a deadly contagious anger, one that is designed to wipe everyone out.
I am learning that I must choose to speak through HIS filter of love, so that I will be doing my part in stopping the spread of the anger and rage that has been wreaking havoc in my family for generations. Once again HE is reminding me that it all starts with me, and that in choosing to live with Contagious FAITH, I will be modeling HIS love for others, and they too will want to seek HIM, and HIS will for their lives, and they too will be able to speak through HIS filter of love.
"Since when is doing what comes naturally a good thing?" Annie Chapman "A Woman's Answer to Anger"
Impulsive speaking is something that I have struggled with for so much of my life. HE is wanting me to know that in choosing HIS will for my life means that I must choose to speak through HIS filter of love, and NOT speak through my "feelings."
"For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out." Romans 7:18
Today's reading explained this perfectly to me, "It is a good thing to fight our natural impulses to do and say the first thing that comes to our mind." Annie Chapman "A Woman's Answer to Anger"
"Our lives are like gardens. If we want to have a peaceful productive life, free from the life-stealing weeds of anger, we have to constantly be in the fight against our natural tendencies." Annie Chapman "A Woman's Answer to Anger"
HE is wanting me to know that this is especially true to my marriage to D. I must choose to resist my natural impulses to be brutally honest and instead put on HIS nature, and speak through HIS filter of love, so that life will be poured into our marriage. HE is wanting me to know that in choosing to speak this way, doesn't mean that I will be suppressing my anger, but rather I in choosing to speak through HIS filter of love, proves that I am becoming more spiritually mature. As it is written that it is one of the fruit's of the spirit.
"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law." Galatians 5:22-23
HE is teaching me that instead of allowing my natural tendency for an outburst of angst to flow freely, I do both D and I a favor and bite my tongue by either remaining silent or choosing to speak through HIS filter of love.
Through HIS loving teachings today HE is reminding me once again what HE says about giving into my anger.
"Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end." Proverbs 29:11
"If our feelings can't be delivered with the right spirit and motive, then we should be quiet and wait until we are able to be "gently honest." Annie Chapman "A Woman's Answer to Anger"
I am so thankful to be learning that I must learn to make honesty my friend and NOT my foe. I am so thankful that HE loves me enough to continue to teach me what I am doing wrong, and building me strong through many tests and trials to withstand the things that bring anger to me, and helping me put into practice self-control. I am so incredibly thankful for HIS gift of speak through HIS filter of love, so that through me generations of life ending unwholesome speech is ending.
Dear friends I pray that in a world where all we hear is to speak your mind, and who cares who you hurt in the process is being shoved down our throats, I pray that you will know that it is NOT what GOD's best is for your life. I pray that you will seek HIM, and ask HIM to soften your heart, and to help you see people through HIS vision, so that you too will be able to speak through HIS filter of love. I pray today that the anger that festers inside of you will be calmed, when you practice being calm by choosing self-control. I pray for HIS blessings and favor to be poured over your life because of your obedience.
love and blessings,
Heather
Monday, May 19, 2014
Able
For as long as I can remember in the "heat of the moment," I have always resorted to angry words. I remember as a little girl whenever someone would offend or harm me, I would scream messages of hate, and rage. So much in fact that I even started making up my own words. When I think about my childhood I remember how angry I was then, and in going back into my past this morning with HIM I am now realizing how much that anger has spilled over into my present, and threatens my future.
HIS Daily Teachings today is getting me to face my anger, the deep rooted issues of why I react in my anger, and how to learn to be angry without sinning. This morning HE is showing me that with HIM I am Able. Through HIS word this morning I am learning that just as GOD spoke to Cain about HIS anger, and not reacting to it, HE is now teaching me the same.
"Then the Lord said to Cain, “Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast? If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must rule over it.” Genesis 4:6-7
HE is teaching me that just as Cain struggled with his own anger, HE sees and knows that I am too am struggling with the same type of anger. Through HIS word as it is written this morning I am truly seeing the danger that is lurking when I choose to be angry with sin.
HE is wanting me to know that HE doesn't want me to end up like Cain and sin in a way that will drive me even further away from HIM. HE is telling me that this is the very reason why HE is working so hard in me and through me to deal with my anger. HE is wanting me to know that it isn't my anger that's dangerous, it's my tendencies to give in to my anger and become like Cain that threatens my freedom that HE is wanting to bless me with.
"He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty,And he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city." Proverbs 16:32
This morning HE is teaching me that it is possible for me to be angry without sinning. HE is wanting me to know that just because I have Cain tendencies, and that with HIM I will be like Able, and will be able to overcome them through HIS help. Once again HE is reminding me that I need NOT to rely on my own strength to overcome, but rather to seek HIM, and HIS vision so that I will see things as HE sees them. I must seek HIS vision so that I will then see what is really going on behind the scenes.
Thinking about my past, I am seeing where HE has been working through this very concept with me through my being Mama. There have been many instances where one of my children are acting up, or acting out in their own anger, and I have chosen to NOT be angry, but rather to be loving, kind, and compassionate. To choose to see things through their eyes. Today I am learning that it wasn't really through their eyes, but rather through HIS eyes, and in seeing things through HIS vision I am learning that I can choose to be angry without sinning.
HE is teaching me today that in choosing to seek HIS vision I am going go from being Cain to Able. This means that just as Cain acted out in his anger, he killed his brother Able. In Cain's jealous rage, he killed his own brother. He decided to be angry with sin, and even though GOD asked him why he was angry, and let him know that that he should do what was right, and warned him that if he didn't sin was lurking, and waiting to devour him. By allowing his anger to overtake him, overpower him, he rocked his world, and his parents world, and he committed the first murder and set Satan's plans in motion to overcome this world.
However, in knowing that HE is all knowing, and all powerful, I know that HIS plans are NOT for me to be overtaken, but rather to overcome! HE is showing me that it has been HIS plan all along for me to lose the mindset of Cain and to choose to become Able through HIS power and HIS authority.
HE is teaching me that I must choose to be angry without sinning, by seeking HIS vision, so that I will see the big picture, so that I will really know what is going on. HE is telling me that in seeking HIM and HIS vision, I will be able to let go of my rage that festers inside of me. HE is wanting me to know that it is when I seek HIM, to teach, lead, and guide me through this mess of my anger, to seek HIM to reveal the truth to me about the deep rooted issues of my anger, and what triggers my anger, that with HIM I am more than a conqueror as I am becoming less of Cain and more Able.
"Life is filled with bothersome, infuriating situations and circumstances. It takes a person who is not truly plugged in all the way to reality to come through this life never angry or aggravated." Annie Chapman, "A Women's Answer to Anger"
This morning it was very eye opening for me to see it written that it's normal that I am experiencing on a daily basis things that irritate, and infuriate me. HE is wanting me to know that through those things, I will be Able to overcome the ways of this broken and fallen world. Through HIM I will ditch the mindset of Cain (which is the way of this broken and fallen world), and know that with HIM, I will overcome, as HE has proven time and again to me that HE is my strength!
"We can reach out and ask for help, or we do what comes naturally and "shoot" those around us with venomous words of hatred that boil inside of us" Annie Chapman
Yikes! How true those words are for my life. Through HIS Daily Teachings today I am learning just how venomous my words become when I choose to be Cain. For this very reason, I know that I must seek HIM every single time I feel anger "trying" to take root in my heart. HE is teaching me that I am able to do this when I seek HIS vision, and allow HIM to create in me a heart that is full of HIS compassion, HIS grace, HIS mercy, HIS love, HIS kindness, and HIS strength. It is through CHRIST and CHRIST alone that I will become Able.
"But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me." 2 Corinthians 12:9
HE is wanting me to know that in choosing to be Able, I must choose to always remember that HIS grace is sufficient for me. This means, when I am hurt, or offended by someone, it is okay for me to feel hurt or offended. HE is telling me that HE understands my feelings, and HE wants to heal my wounded heart. HE is showing me that in allowing HIM to heal my wounded heart, I am more than Able to forgive the people who have wounded me, are wounding me, and who will wound me.
HE is teaching me that there will never be a time in my life here on Earth where I won't be tested. However, HE does promise that HE will always be with me. HE is wanting me to know that in knowing that I must choose to be angry without sinning, and to lose the mindset of Cain, and seek HIM, as I know with HIM as my strength I truly am more than Able.
"He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God." Micah 6:8
HE is showing me once again what this looks like for my life. HE is telling me that instead of becoming Cain when dealing with my anger, I must choose to be like HIM. This reminds me of yesterday when I was worshiping HIM at church. It was during this song that I completely fell apart, and almost to my knees, as it was then that I realized that I needed HIM to be in everything, and to be my everything!
"Grace, what have You done? Murdered for me on that cross. Accused in absence of wrong. My sin washed away in Your blood. Too much to make sense of it all, I know that Your love breaks my fall. The scandal of grace, You died in my place, So my soul will live.
Oh to be like You. Give all I have just to know You. Jesus, there's no one besides You. Forever the hope in my heart.
Death, where is your sting? Your power is as dead as my sin. The cross has taught me to live.
And mercy, my heart now to sing" Hillsong United "Scandal of Grace"
The more I sang, the more I cried, out to HIM, my SAVIOR, the ONE WHO knows and loves me best. My LORD, my GOD, my EVERYTHING. It was in that moment that I needed HIM like I needed air to breathe, only I realized that I only wanted HIS air to breathe. I wanted and needed HIM to fill me with HIS love, HIS grace, HIS mercy, HIS compassion, HIS kindness, HIS gentleness, and HIS forgiveness. I needed HIM more than I could have ever thought possible.
This morning, HE is letting me know that HE heard the cries from the depth of my soul yesterday, and HE is showing me that HE is there, and HE is ready to transform and renew me, to take me from being Cain, to becoming Able.
Today I am so incredibly thankful, and grateful to know that HE is the only source, that can help me to be angry without sinning. I am thankful to be able to boldly declare that through CHRIST and CHRIST alone I will overcome my anger. I am so thankful that with HIM I know that I am becoming less Cain and more Able.
My dear friends, I pray today that if you too struggle with Cain tendencies, that you will have the courage to seek HIM, and allow HIM to work in you and through you so that you to will overcome your anger. I pray that you will seek HIS vision for your life, so that you will truly be Able to understand what is really going on behind the scenes in the drama that is your life. I pray today for you to be filled with HIS peace and HIS understanding so that you will be able to be angry without sinning, and so that you too will become less Cain and more Able.
With compassion, love, and grace,
Heather
HIS Daily Teachings today is getting me to face my anger, the deep rooted issues of why I react in my anger, and how to learn to be angry without sinning. This morning HE is showing me that with HIM I am Able. Through HIS word this morning I am learning that just as GOD spoke to Cain about HIS anger, and not reacting to it, HE is now teaching me the same.
"Then the Lord said to Cain, “Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast? If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must rule over it.” Genesis 4:6-7
HE is teaching me that just as Cain struggled with his own anger, HE sees and knows that I am too am struggling with the same type of anger. Through HIS word as it is written this morning I am truly seeing the danger that is lurking when I choose to be angry with sin.
HE is wanting me to know that HE doesn't want me to end up like Cain and sin in a way that will drive me even further away from HIM. HE is telling me that this is the very reason why HE is working so hard in me and through me to deal with my anger. HE is wanting me to know that it isn't my anger that's dangerous, it's my tendencies to give in to my anger and become like Cain that threatens my freedom that HE is wanting to bless me with.
"He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty,And he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city." Proverbs 16:32
This morning HE is teaching me that it is possible for me to be angry without sinning. HE is wanting me to know that just because I have Cain tendencies, and that with HIM I will be like Able, and will be able to overcome them through HIS help. Once again HE is reminding me that I need NOT to rely on my own strength to overcome, but rather to seek HIM, and HIS vision so that I will see things as HE sees them. I must seek HIS vision so that I will then see what is really going on behind the scenes.
Thinking about my past, I am seeing where HE has been working through this very concept with me through my being Mama. There have been many instances where one of my children are acting up, or acting out in their own anger, and I have chosen to NOT be angry, but rather to be loving, kind, and compassionate. To choose to see things through their eyes. Today I am learning that it wasn't really through their eyes, but rather through HIS eyes, and in seeing things through HIS vision I am learning that I can choose to be angry without sinning.
HE is teaching me today that in choosing to seek HIS vision I am going go from being Cain to Able. This means that just as Cain acted out in his anger, he killed his brother Able. In Cain's jealous rage, he killed his own brother. He decided to be angry with sin, and even though GOD asked him why he was angry, and let him know that that he should do what was right, and warned him that if he didn't sin was lurking, and waiting to devour him. By allowing his anger to overtake him, overpower him, he rocked his world, and his parents world, and he committed the first murder and set Satan's plans in motion to overcome this world.
However, in knowing that HE is all knowing, and all powerful, I know that HIS plans are NOT for me to be overtaken, but rather to overcome! HE is showing me that it has been HIS plan all along for me to lose the mindset of Cain and to choose to become Able through HIS power and HIS authority.
HE is teaching me that I must choose to be angry without sinning, by seeking HIS vision, so that I will see the big picture, so that I will really know what is going on. HE is telling me that in seeking HIM and HIS vision, I will be able to let go of my rage that festers inside of me. HE is wanting me to know that it is when I seek HIM, to teach, lead, and guide me through this mess of my anger, to seek HIM to reveal the truth to me about the deep rooted issues of my anger, and what triggers my anger, that with HIM I am more than a conqueror as I am becoming less of Cain and more Able.
"Life is filled with bothersome, infuriating situations and circumstances. It takes a person who is not truly plugged in all the way to reality to come through this life never angry or aggravated." Annie Chapman, "A Women's Answer to Anger"
This morning it was very eye opening for me to see it written that it's normal that I am experiencing on a daily basis things that irritate, and infuriate me. HE is wanting me to know that through those things, I will be Able to overcome the ways of this broken and fallen world. Through HIM I will ditch the mindset of Cain (which is the way of this broken and fallen world), and know that with HIM, I will overcome, as HE has proven time and again to me that HE is my strength!
"We can reach out and ask for help, or we do what comes naturally and "shoot" those around us with venomous words of hatred that boil inside of us" Annie Chapman
Yikes! How true those words are for my life. Through HIS Daily Teachings today I am learning just how venomous my words become when I choose to be Cain. For this very reason, I know that I must seek HIM every single time I feel anger "trying" to take root in my heart. HE is teaching me that I am able to do this when I seek HIS vision, and allow HIM to create in me a heart that is full of HIS compassion, HIS grace, HIS mercy, HIS love, HIS kindness, and HIS strength. It is through CHRIST and CHRIST alone that I will become Able.
"But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me." 2 Corinthians 12:9
HE is wanting me to know that in choosing to be Able, I must choose to always remember that HIS grace is sufficient for me. This means, when I am hurt, or offended by someone, it is okay for me to feel hurt or offended. HE is telling me that HE understands my feelings, and HE wants to heal my wounded heart. HE is showing me that in allowing HIM to heal my wounded heart, I am more than Able to forgive the people who have wounded me, are wounding me, and who will wound me.
HE is teaching me that there will never be a time in my life here on Earth where I won't be tested. However, HE does promise that HE will always be with me. HE is wanting me to know that in knowing that I must choose to be angry without sinning, and to lose the mindset of Cain, and seek HIM, as I know with HIM as my strength I truly am more than Able.
"He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God." Micah 6:8
HE is showing me once again what this looks like for my life. HE is telling me that instead of becoming Cain when dealing with my anger, I must choose to be like HIM. This reminds me of yesterday when I was worshiping HIM at church. It was during this song that I completely fell apart, and almost to my knees, as it was then that I realized that I needed HIM to be in everything, and to be my everything!
"Grace, what have You done? Murdered for me on that cross. Accused in absence of wrong. My sin washed away in Your blood. Too much to make sense of it all, I know that Your love breaks my fall. The scandal of grace, You died in my place, So my soul will live.
Oh to be like You. Give all I have just to know You. Jesus, there's no one besides You. Forever the hope in my heart.
Death, where is your sting? Your power is as dead as my sin. The cross has taught me to live.
And mercy, my heart now to sing" Hillsong United "Scandal of Grace"
The more I sang, the more I cried, out to HIM, my SAVIOR, the ONE WHO knows and loves me best. My LORD, my GOD, my EVERYTHING. It was in that moment that I needed HIM like I needed air to breathe, only I realized that I only wanted HIS air to breathe. I wanted and needed HIM to fill me with HIS love, HIS grace, HIS mercy, HIS compassion, HIS kindness, HIS gentleness, and HIS forgiveness. I needed HIM more than I could have ever thought possible.
This morning, HE is letting me know that HE heard the cries from the depth of my soul yesterday, and HE is showing me that HE is there, and HE is ready to transform and renew me, to take me from being Cain, to becoming Able.
Today I am so incredibly thankful, and grateful to know that HE is the only source, that can help me to be angry without sinning. I am thankful to be able to boldly declare that through CHRIST and CHRIST alone I will overcome my anger. I am so thankful that with HIM I know that I am becoming less Cain and more Able.
My dear friends, I pray today that if you too struggle with Cain tendencies, that you will have the courage to seek HIM, and allow HIM to work in you and through you so that you to will overcome your anger. I pray that you will seek HIS vision for your life, so that you will truly be Able to understand what is really going on behind the scenes in the drama that is your life. I pray today for you to be filled with HIS peace and HIS understanding so that you will be able to be angry without sinning, and so that you too will become less Cain and more Able.
With compassion, love, and grace,
Heather
Saturday, May 17, 2014
the source
For the past few days, anger has taken up residence inside of me. Feeling angry about everything and everything. It seems as if though no matter which way I turned, in my marriage, being Mama, or my friendships, in ALL of my relationships anger seemed to be taking over me once again. In total desperation, I got up at 3 a.m. this morning, seeking HIM and asking HIM to please take away all this anger that is living inside of me.
HIS Daily Teachings today is showing me that the source of my anger is everything that I have learned in my past. HE is wanting me to know that today is the day where HE will begin to help me to close the gaping and bleeding wounds that I still have within me from my past.
When I first realized that my anger was from my past, well honestly I was angry. I couldn't help but to feel defeated, in thinking, "here we go again, another horrible journey through my wretched past." This morning however HE has lovingly been leading me with HIS truth that the source of which Satan has used in my past, is NO longer the source in my life now. HE is teachings me that HE is the only source that I am to allow to influence my heart, soul, and mind.
Through HIS words as they have been written this morning, I am understanding more and more just how much I need HIM to be the only source that of which I will allow to influence me. I am learning the reason of the importance that HE insists upon for me in choosing to be NOT of this world, to be a Misfit, is so that I will choose to live according to HIS will, and so that I will be able to do my part in bringing HIS Kingdom of HEAVEN here to Earth. I am learning that this is only possible when I choose to allow HIM to be the source for ALL of my decisions.
"Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasingand perfect will." Romans 12:2
HE is telling me that my anger was NOT inherited, rather the way that I express my anger was inherited, as it was taught to me. I learned a long time ago, that children are what they know. Even in knowing that I was caught off guard when HE revealed to me this morning that I am NOT an angry person because of my heritage, rather I am angry because the source of which has up until now influenced ALL of my heart, soul, and mind has wreaked havoc over every single part of my being.
HE is wanting me to know that without even realizing it, I have helped the source from my past plan, and plot against me. Without knowing it, I have helped plot and plan my own demise. This morning that this is the very reason why I struggle with over eating, and over spending.
HE is wanting me to know that in "trying" to dull, and numb the pain that has been caused by the source of my past, I am sabotaging what HE is transforming, and renewing for HIS good. HE is telling me that it is time that I change the source of how I will deal with my anger, and allow HIM to transform my heart, soul, and mind, and allow only HIM to be the source that influences ALL of my thoughts.
HE is wanting me to know that this is the very reason why HIS Daily Teachings was gifted to me last year as the start of my year of breakthroughs with HIM. HE is telling me that I had to learn the basics of my thoughts, and how they controlled me, in order to prepare me for this moment when HE was finally ready, and I was prepared to receive HIS truth about the source of all of my anger.
Through HIS loving guidance and truth today HE is showing me that I hold a lot of bitterness in my heart towards my own children. HE is telling me that even though the source of my childhood left me abandoned, and abused, who neglected me, and made me want and choose to hate myself, doesn't mean that I "need" to pass on that same legacy to my children. HE is wanting me to know that even though I didn't have the same opportunities as my children do doesn't mean that I get to be the source of discouragement for them.
HE is teaching me, and today's teaching is rough, as HE is revealing to me that in NOT realizing it I am passing on the source of which Satan is still "trying" to wipe me off the face of this earth with onto my own children. HE is telling me that it is time that I realize that I must stop projecting all of my open, and bleeding wounds of my past to my children. I must stop punishing them because of something that they had no part of in hurting me.
HE is wanting me to know that even though I have spent a lot of my life "feeling" rejected, and angry, I NO longer have to "feel" that way as the source of which has been wreaking havoc in my life has been revealed today through HIS love for me. In receiving HIS truth, I am realizing the lies that have kept me lock up in my own prison for so long, and I am thankful that because of HIS truth, I am once again being set free to live with HIS true freedom.
" Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” John 8:32
In choosing for HIM to be the source that is teaching me, I know that HE is transforming and renewing my heart, soul, and mind each time I seek HIM to teach, lead, and guide me through HIS Daily Teachings. It is through HIS Daily Teachings that I am seeking HIM, and allowing HIM to work in me, and through me.
It has been through HIS Daily Teachings that I have learned the true value of forgiveness, as HE has taught me how to truly forgive. In choosing to live with HIS forgiveness I have been able to let go of so many of my past hurts, and in choosing HIM as the only source for my life, I know that I have been set free from the bondage of all of the lies that have been repeatedly told to me throughout my life.
HE is wanting me to know that it is because HE loves me that HE died for me. That HE paid ultimate price for me, so that I would be able to spend eternity in HEAVEN with HIM and HIS FATHER. It is because HE loves me that I know that HE is my only source for healing, comfort, love, joy, grace, peace, forgiveness, and mercy. HE is wanting me to know that all of those were given to me the moment that I decided to follow HIM, to allow HIM to be LORD of my life, and without realizing it until now to be the source that of which influences, all of my thoughts and actions.
This morning I am learning that almost 36 years of learned behavior is NOT an easy challenge or task, however it is possible in choosing HIM, and making HIM the only source of which how I will choose to live this life that I have been given. I am learning that this means my, "I want it now, don't care how" attitude needs to go. It is as if thought HE is saying to me, "It's time to lose the tude Heather."
"Why do we hurt ourselves long after the offender has left?" Annie Chapman "A Woman's Answer to Anger"
HE is telling me that it is through my over eating, and over spending, that I have allowed the source of my anger to linger, and in turn it has infected most, if not all of my relationships. HE is wanting me to know that by choosing HIM as the source for my life, HE can, will, and does heal the broken and wounded areas of my heart that of which the source of my past is still "trying" to take up residence inside of me.
"The messages from our younger years remind us of our sinful indulgences, and we come away thrusting the sword deeper and deeper into our bleeding hearts." Annie Chapman
When I read those words this morning, I felt a pang of sadness come over me, as I realized that this is true for my life. However, thankfully through HIS Daily Teachings today I have learned that through the Power and Authority of HIS HOLY and MIGHTY name I can, and will rebuke ALL of the lies that have kept me in my own prison. Today it is through HIS love, as HIS truth is being revealed to me, that I am able to declare that HE is GOD, HE IS GOOD, ALL of the time. I am able to shout it, scream, and tell it to the masses that of which Satan and his minions "tried" to destroy me with, HE is using for HIS good.
"For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms." Ephesians 6:12
" Now may the God of peace, who through the blood of the eternal covenant brought back from the dead our Lord Jesus, that great Shepherd of the sheep,equip you with everything good for doing his will, and may he work in us what is pleasing to him, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen." Hebrews 13:20-21
Once again, I am truly living out HIS promise to me, that is my hott mess, which is turning into HIS Beautiful Message, and it is through that message that other people are able to receive HIS hope. I know that the life that I am now living is only because I choose HIM daily to be the source of which I base ALL of my decisions on. It is because I know that HE is the source of my thoughts, and actions, I know that I am seeking HIM, and allowing HIS will to be the only way that I will choose to live.
Dear friends, I pray today that you will seek HIM and allow HIM to reveal to you who the source that influences all of your thoughts and actions is. I pray that you will seek HIM and allow HIM to transform and renew your mind according to HIS will. I pray that you will seek HIM, and HE will reveal HIS truth to you, about your past, and that you will allow HIM to heal the open, and bleeding wounds of your heart. I pray today for complete peace and healing to be poured into you when you choose HIM to be the source for the way you will choose to live your life.
With much compassion, love, blessings, and prayers,
Heather
HIS Daily Teachings today is showing me that the source of my anger is everything that I have learned in my past. HE is wanting me to know that today is the day where HE will begin to help me to close the gaping and bleeding wounds that I still have within me from my past.
When I first realized that my anger was from my past, well honestly I was angry. I couldn't help but to feel defeated, in thinking, "here we go again, another horrible journey through my wretched past." This morning however HE has lovingly been leading me with HIS truth that the source of which Satan has used in my past, is NO longer the source in my life now. HE is teachings me that HE is the only source that I am to allow to influence my heart, soul, and mind.
Through HIS words as they have been written this morning, I am understanding more and more just how much I need HIM to be the only source that of which I will allow to influence me. I am learning the reason of the importance that HE insists upon for me in choosing to be NOT of this world, to be a Misfit, is so that I will choose to live according to HIS will, and so that I will be able to do my part in bringing HIS Kingdom of HEAVEN here to Earth. I am learning that this is only possible when I choose to allow HIM to be the source for ALL of my decisions.
"Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasingand perfect will." Romans 12:2
HE is telling me that my anger was NOT inherited, rather the way that I express my anger was inherited, as it was taught to me. I learned a long time ago, that children are what they know. Even in knowing that I was caught off guard when HE revealed to me this morning that I am NOT an angry person because of my heritage, rather I am angry because the source of which has up until now influenced ALL of my heart, soul, and mind has wreaked havoc over every single part of my being.
HE is wanting me to know that without even realizing it, I have helped the source from my past plan, and plot against me. Without knowing it, I have helped plot and plan my own demise. This morning that this is the very reason why I struggle with over eating, and over spending.
HE is wanting me to know that in "trying" to dull, and numb the pain that has been caused by the source of my past, I am sabotaging what HE is transforming, and renewing for HIS good. HE is telling me that it is time that I change the source of how I will deal with my anger, and allow HIM to transform my heart, soul, and mind, and allow only HIM to be the source that influences ALL of my thoughts.
HE is wanting me to know that this is the very reason why HIS Daily Teachings was gifted to me last year as the start of my year of breakthroughs with HIM. HE is telling me that I had to learn the basics of my thoughts, and how they controlled me, in order to prepare me for this moment when HE was finally ready, and I was prepared to receive HIS truth about the source of all of my anger.
Through HIS loving guidance and truth today HE is showing me that I hold a lot of bitterness in my heart towards my own children. HE is telling me that even though the source of my childhood left me abandoned, and abused, who neglected me, and made me want and choose to hate myself, doesn't mean that I "need" to pass on that same legacy to my children. HE is wanting me to know that even though I didn't have the same opportunities as my children do doesn't mean that I get to be the source of discouragement for them.
HE is teaching me, and today's teaching is rough, as HE is revealing to me that in NOT realizing it I am passing on the source of which Satan is still "trying" to wipe me off the face of this earth with onto my own children. HE is telling me that it is time that I realize that I must stop projecting all of my open, and bleeding wounds of my past to my children. I must stop punishing them because of something that they had no part of in hurting me.
HE is wanting me to know that even though I have spent a lot of my life "feeling" rejected, and angry, I NO longer have to "feel" that way as the source of which has been wreaking havoc in my life has been revealed today through HIS love for me. In receiving HIS truth, I am realizing the lies that have kept me lock up in my own prison for so long, and I am thankful that because of HIS truth, I am once again being set free to live with HIS true freedom.
" Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” John 8:32
In choosing for HIM to be the source that is teaching me, I know that HE is transforming and renewing my heart, soul, and mind each time I seek HIM to teach, lead, and guide me through HIS Daily Teachings. It is through HIS Daily Teachings that I am seeking HIM, and allowing HIM to work in me, and through me.
It has been through HIS Daily Teachings that I have learned the true value of forgiveness, as HE has taught me how to truly forgive. In choosing to live with HIS forgiveness I have been able to let go of so many of my past hurts, and in choosing HIM as the only source for my life, I know that I have been set free from the bondage of all of the lies that have been repeatedly told to me throughout my life.
HE is wanting me to know that it is because HE loves me that HE died for me. That HE paid ultimate price for me, so that I would be able to spend eternity in HEAVEN with HIM and HIS FATHER. It is because HE loves me that I know that HE is my only source for healing, comfort, love, joy, grace, peace, forgiveness, and mercy. HE is wanting me to know that all of those were given to me the moment that I decided to follow HIM, to allow HIM to be LORD of my life, and without realizing it until now to be the source that of which influences, all of my thoughts and actions.
This morning I am learning that almost 36 years of learned behavior is NOT an easy challenge or task, however it is possible in choosing HIM, and making HIM the only source of which how I will choose to live this life that I have been given. I am learning that this means my, "I want it now, don't care how" attitude needs to go. It is as if thought HE is saying to me, "It's time to lose the tude Heather."
"Why do we hurt ourselves long after the offender has left?" Annie Chapman "A Woman's Answer to Anger"
HE is telling me that it is through my over eating, and over spending, that I have allowed the source of my anger to linger, and in turn it has infected most, if not all of my relationships. HE is wanting me to know that by choosing HIM as the source for my life, HE can, will, and does heal the broken and wounded areas of my heart that of which the source of my past is still "trying" to take up residence inside of me.
"The messages from our younger years remind us of our sinful indulgences, and we come away thrusting the sword deeper and deeper into our bleeding hearts." Annie Chapman
When I read those words this morning, I felt a pang of sadness come over me, as I realized that this is true for my life. However, thankfully through HIS Daily Teachings today I have learned that through the Power and Authority of HIS HOLY and MIGHTY name I can, and will rebuke ALL of the lies that have kept me in my own prison. Today it is through HIS love, as HIS truth is being revealed to me, that I am able to declare that HE is GOD, HE IS GOOD, ALL of the time. I am able to shout it, scream, and tell it to the masses that of which Satan and his minions "tried" to destroy me with, HE is using for HIS good.
"For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms." Ephesians 6:12
" Now may the God of peace, who through the blood of the eternal covenant brought back from the dead our Lord Jesus, that great Shepherd of the sheep,equip you with everything good for doing his will, and may he work in us what is pleasing to him, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen." Hebrews 13:20-21
Once again, I am truly living out HIS promise to me, that is my hott mess, which is turning into HIS Beautiful Message, and it is through that message that other people are able to receive HIS hope. I know that the life that I am now living is only because I choose HIM daily to be the source of which I base ALL of my decisions on. It is because I know that HE is the source of my thoughts, and actions, I know that I am seeking HIM, and allowing HIS will to be the only way that I will choose to live.
Dear friends, I pray today that you will seek HIM and allow HIM to reveal to you who the source that influences all of your thoughts and actions is. I pray that you will seek HIM and allow HIM to transform and renew your mind according to HIS will. I pray that you will seek HIM, and HE will reveal HIS truth to you, about your past, and that you will allow HIM to heal the open, and bleeding wounds of your heart. I pray today for complete peace and healing to be poured into you when you choose HIM to be the source for the way you will choose to live your life.
With much compassion, love, blessings, and prayers,
Heather
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