happily ever after???

D and I have been married for 15 years now, and I can honestly tell you that while we have loved each other, there were times where we didn't like each other very much.  There have been days where I look at him and question why in the world are we still married.  This past year has been one of those season's in my life, and because HE loves me so much, HE has been working very hard on me to see that the "Happily Ever After," that I so desperately want to be for our marriage, well it starts with me.

I will be honest in saying that when I first heard HIM say, "It starts with you Heather!"  I groaned, and well in all honesty I  pouted, and sulked, as to say, "oh GOD why me?  YOUR already changing me in so many other areas, he's NOT doing ANYTHING!!!!"  In reading that now of what I just wrote, I am embarrassed that I would even allow my thoughts to go there.

Last Wednesday was a HUGE turning point in our marriage, on of which was full of sorrow and pain, but HE has been right there with us, leading each of us, straight into HIS arms, and we know that because we are drawing closer to HIM, we are coming closer to each other.  

On Valentine's Day, D surprised me with many gifts.  I was in shock as we don't usually get each other anything.  It just so happens that our favorite Christian store was closing, and everything was half price.  Through my prayers of GOD reaching D, HE allowed D to purchase many books on marriage, for not only me to read, but for him to read as well.  As I took each one out of the bag, my eyes welled up with tears.  The words D spoke so beautifully about our marriage told me that he too was desiring a "happily ever after" marriage.

Last night was our first night of devotional, and it reminded D and I that we need to laugh more.  When we were first dating, and in the early years of our marriage we laughed ALL of the time.  We would laugh so much at night in our bed, that our sides would hurt.  We would literally fall asleep to one another's laughter.  Even in our times of  sorrow, we had still managed to make each other laugh.  

This morning HE has revealed that is HIS gift to me, to have a husband like D, who strives to see me laugh.  A husband who does silly things just to see his wife crack up, and know how much he loves her just by the way he's looking at her.  Unfortunately for D, I am a wreck at times, and I all too often fail to see that the things that "annoy" me about him, are really designed to make me laugh, and so that I will be happy.

A good friend of ours once said, "A happy wife is a happy life."  I never quite understood that saying, well that is until I started reading my latest book.  "31 Days to Becoming a Happy Wife."  Oh there is that word again, becoming.

HE is wanting me to know that becoming, a happy wife means that I am to be flattering.  One of my greatest desires is for D to brag about me to other people.  I long to hear him tell people how awesome his wife is, and and who she is.  D, however doesn't share my same longing, and really finds it annoying that he would have to do something like that for me to know how he feels about me.

I am learning that being flattering means that a happy wife is beautiful and attractive.  HE is letting me know that NO amount of makeup or clothes will ever make me more beautiful or attractive than when my happiness, HIS JOY shines through me!

HE is telling me that my journey to becoming is a process of coming to be something.  In choosing to be becoming, means that I will seek HIM Daily to teach lead, and guide me, so that I will able to be the wife for D that GOD has designed for me to be!  I must know and understand that I was chosen specifically for D.  

HE is wanting me to know that becoming a happy wife means that I choose to be proper, suitable, and fitting.  Meaning that I must choose to act happy being D's wife.  HE is telling me that it shouldn't be strange or unusual for me to be happy.  HE is telling me this because I know that being happy has been such a foreign concept to me, as I never really experienced it until I met D.

Through the gift of this awesome book, HE has broken down what the word happy means for me, and how to apply it to my life.

H ~ Hopeful ~ I am learning that HOPE is the foundation for my marriage to D.  Therefore, I     must place my hope in HIM so that when I draw near to HIM so will D.  HE will bring us closer     together.  HE is lovingly reminding me of a pivotal moment in our walk with HIM at a marriage     class we once took.   The "triangle effect"  There are three points to a triangle, GOD is the     top center, and the husband and wife are the sides.  When the husband and wife try and       travel the distance across that takes a long time, however when they each go up  their side towards GOD, they will be closer to each other than if they  "tried" to travel the distance.  

A ~ Adaptable ~ HE is telling me that I must be willing to accept gracefully.  I must learn to         "Roll With the Punches," and NOT get all "worked up" when things aren't going the way I envisioned them to go.  Once again, HE is reminding me of the importance to my               Becoming Mary.

P ~ Positive ~  I am learning that being positive means that I will be a 'breath of fresh air," for     D when he has had a long trying day with a client, or a long day at the office.  HE is               telling me that in order to be just that, I must choose to smile, forgive easily, and be           uplifting, and life building with my words and actions.  

P ~ Purpose ~ HE is wanting me to know and remember that it is HIS plan, and HIS purpose     that I am D's wife.  Not only that, but I was designed specifically for D.  This puts me in           complete awe to know that I was created to be D's wife.

Y ~ Yielded ~ This for me in the hardest area of surrender for me.  HE is telling me that NOT     only must I  come under HIS authority, but I must also be submissive to D as well.  HE is             wanting me to know that I must respect what D is saying, even if I may not agree with him.         HE is telling me that when I allow HIM to take control over my heart and home, I will be           filled with HIS Endless JOY and it will pour out of me, and onto D.  My JOY will be the           reason for his joy.  

This to me is hard as I know that in order for me to truly be a happy wife, I must be ready to listen.  Not only that, but I must choose to be humble, and NOT proud!  I must NOT complain about how hard things are for me. I must choose to be thankful for the life that I have been given, and for my marriage to D, especially on the days where I am questioning, GOD, where's my "happily ever after?"

HE is wanting me to know that just as HE took me through a breakthrough almost ten months ago, HE is know taking me through another one in my marriage to D.  HIS Daily Teachings today is to let me know that the "happily ever after" that I want for my marriage has to start with me.  

The first thing HE is wanting me to know is that knowing that my marriage to D takes work shouldn't be negative thing for me.  HE is wanting me to know that even though my marriage isn't a "fairy tale," it's okay. This morning HE is showing me that my marriage is real, it is growing, and because it is growing, it is thriving. HE is wanting me to meditate on HIS words today, "You, Heather, cannot depend on D to provide you with your happiness, it IS your job!"

This morning HE is revealing to me where my happiness can be found.  When I chose to serve D before he serves me.  This means getting my thoughts away from "why should I do anything more for him, he NEVER does anything for me."  I must seek HIM to teach, guide and lead me to be D's wife, as HE is the ONE who created HIM, and therefore HE knows D best, and knows what he needs.  I must stop doing whatever I "think" is best, and ask HIM what is best.  I must also choose to make wise decisions and NOT wait around for my circumstances to be just right, and convenient for me.  

Today HE is telling me is a NEW BEGINNING for me, as HE is the GOD of NEW BEGINNINGS.

“But forget all that—   it is nothing compared to what I am going to do. For I am about to do something new.  See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness.  I will create rivers in the dry wasteland." Isaiah 43:18-19

Today I am thankful that in my struggle to becoming, that I know that HE is there, and HE is waiting for me to surrender to HIS will, and HIS plan for my life.  I am thankful to know that HE is my GOD of hope, therefore I must place ALL of my hope in HIM.  I am thankful that the "happily ever after" that I am searching for can be found in HIM.  I am thankful that HE loves me enough to capture my heart once again and show me where my thinking has been distorted.  

I heard a song yesterday that my sister-in-love sent to me, and it described me perfectly.  The feelings of  "I don't deserve YOU GOD," are explained so beautifully in this song.  Today I am cherishing this song, as it is HIS gift to me, to remind me of WHO HE is, and WHO HE will continue to be in my life.  I am thankful that I know that my hope is in HIM the same today, as it will be tomorrow. 

"Don't Deserve You" by "Plumb"

You're the first face that I see
And the last thing I think about
You're the reason that I'm alive
You're what I can't live without
You're what I can't live without

You never give up
When I'm falling apart
Your arms are always open wide
And you're quick to forgive
When I make a mistake
You love me in the blink of an eye

I don't deserve your love
But you give it to me anyway
Can't get enough
You're everything I need
And when I walk away
You take off running and come right after me
It's what you do
And I don't deserve you

You're the light inside my eyes
You give me a reason to keep trying
You give me more than I could dream
And you bring me to my knees
You bring me to my knees

Your heart is gold and how am I the one
That you've chosen to love
I still can't believe that you're right next to me
After all that I've done

I don't deserve your love
But you give it to me anyway
Can't get enough
You're everything I need
And when I walk away
You take off running and come right after me
It's what you do
And I don't deserve you

I don't deserve a chance like this
I don't deserve a love that gives me everything
You're everything I want

I don't deserve your love
But you give it to me anyway
Can't get enough
You're everything I need
And when I walk away
You take off running and come right after me
It's what you do
And I don't deserve you
And I don't deserve you

I pray today that you will know the "happily ever after" that you are searching for can only be found in HIM.  I pray that you will turn from "your way," and make HIS way the vision for your life.  I pray that you will know that no matter what you may have done in your past, HE is there, HE is waiting for you, and HE's running after you, just turn around, and HE will meet you right where you stand.

Blessings,
Heather