courage

Yesterday while getting ready for church I decided to wear my key necklace that says courage.  I received this necklace as a gift from a dear friend of mine from church.  She is a leader at MOPS, which stands for Mothers of Preschoolers.  She was told to give the key to someone who she felt lived her life with great courage.  I cried when she gave it to me, just honored that someone thought of me in that way.  Not really knowing, or understanding what that key would really do for me in a moment where I really needed to have courage.

After church I was socializing with a few friends, and felt a small voice tell me it's time to go.  I quickly said my goodbyes, and joined my family.  We were going to get some groceries and finish out our family day at home.  We decided to stop for lunch, and as soon as our lunch arrived, I noticed our youngest son wasn't looking too good.  He kept leaning into me, wanting me to hold him.  I felt him and he felt warm.  It was then that I looked at my husband D and said, "we need to go NOW!"  

Quickly my husband, myself, and our other four children scarfed down our lunch, and rushed out the door.  When we got into our SUV and I had our daughters take off his socks so that he wouldn't overheat.  I watched him closely as we made the 30 minute drive home, hoping and praying that we would get there in time.

I knew that a fever was serious for him, as I have had three other children who have had febrile seizure's due to rising of fever way too fast.  We rushed into the door, and stripped him down to his diaper, and I got the motrin ready.  It was a battle but we managed to get  three fourths of it into him, and I began to pray.  Within five minutes our whole world would be shook upside down.  

I was heading out to grocery shop with my oldest daughter, when I heard my name being called saying, "Mama he's seizing."  I froze, grasped my key, and prayed, LORD I NEED YOUR STRENGTH!  I quickly rushed to be by D's side as he held our sweet little 23 month old precious son in his arms.  He was turning blue, and his eyes were rolling back into his head.  His mouth was foaming, and he was shaking helplessly in his Daddy's arms.  

It was then that I fell straight into my Daddy's arms, and HE whispered to me, YOU CAN DO THIS! Through HIS courage I was able to apply cool cloths to my son, as we waited out the seizure.  My daughter brought me her phone and had dialed 911 for me.  Now I should tell you that in the past when 911 has been called for my children, I am that Mama, you know emotional, crying, freaking out.  Yesterday, however, through HIS courage, I was calm, and was able to just tell the dispatcher, and paramedic what was going on.  

The first person to arrive was the police officer.  He came in to assess the situation, and couldn't get over how calm I was.  We quickly explained what happened, and how we knew what to do because of our other children.  When the paramedics got there, they said the same thing to me, that they were amazed at how calm I was, being I was his Mama.

It took me back to yesterday's message at church where a guest Pastor spoke and said, "GOD NEVER has an AHA moment!  HE NEVER has an uproot of HIS SOVEREIGNTY"   Yesterday, hearing HIS word as I had never heard it before, is what prepared me for the storm that was going to try and upend our family.  Yesterday in the midst of the storm, I held fast to my FAITH, and had ALL FAITH in HIM that HE was going to carry us through.  I held fast to HIS promise that HE was with us, and we weren't alone.  I held fast to HIS whispers that built me strong with HIS strength and HIS courage.  

"He replied, “You of little faith, why are you so afraid?” Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm." Matthew 8:26

HIS Daily Teachings today is showing me that when I allow HIM to lead me through the storm, instead of being frightened by the storm, I come out on the other side much more intact, than I do when I choose to be "feelings" lead.  HE is letting me know that because I chose to walk with HIM and face the storm with courage I was able to keep my Mama heart from bursting with fear.  

Throughout the night last night, I kept waking up and checking on my son.  There was a brief moment was I was worried about falling asleep, as I wouldn't be able to hear him if he needed me.  However, as I prayed for courage to sleep, and TRUST HIM that HE had HIS hand all over this, I received a sweet text message from a loving friend.  At exactly 11:28 p.m. last night I was blessed by another reminder of WHO HE is in my life.  

I had text: "I pray A LOT for strength, courage, and peace."  She replied: "Well it's apparent you are all being watched over.

It was then that I knew I could safely close my eyes, and welcome the much needed rest that I had been needing.  It was then that I knew my SAVIOR, my REDEEMER, was there, watching over ALL of us.  It was then that my heart began to beat at a normal rhythm again, as I rested safely in the arms of JESUS.  

HE has been teaching me so much about HIS love lately, and NEVER have I ever known just how truly deep HIS love is for me.  Not only is HIS love deep for me, but for everyone.  Yesterday the question was asked, "Have you ever thought about every person that you will ever, or have ever set your eyes on, just how much GOD deeply loves them?"  I can honestly say I've never thought of HIS love that way. 

In seeking HIM and HIS ways, to open my heart and show me all that was wrong, HE is letting me know that it took tremendous courage to seek HIM and say, "Here I am LORD, Have YOUR way in me."  HE is wanting me to know that HE loves it when I come to HIM with my problems, and NOT rely on other people to help me. 

HE is wanting me to know that when I came to HIM with my needs, HE was more than happy to meet and supply ALL of my needs.  HE is telling me that I must understand that my needs go far beyond physical, and material needs.  HE is letting me know that strength, courage, peace, wisdom, health (both physical and spiritual) friendships (to keep me grounded and accountable in my life as HIS FAITHFUL Servant) and Family and loved ones. (to know HIS true JOY of what it means to NOT only give love but to receive love)

HE is wanting me to know that my needs go beyond even all of that, to reach my gifts, talents, and abilities.  HE is telling me that I didn't just wake up one morning thinking I should be a writer.  HE is telling me that the reason I am a writer, is because HE created me to be a writer.  HE is wanting me to know that the reason I share my FAITH as much as I do, in the way that I do, is because I was created on purpose for HIS purpose to do what HE has always intended for me to do.  HE is telling me that it isn't as though I just one day stumbled upon HIM, HE planned it, the exact moment where I would receive HIS touch, the touch that changed my whole life, and a life that is now changing the lives of others.  

Today I am so incredibly blessed, and humbly honored to be sharing yet another step in my journey with HIM.  Today I am so incredibly thankful to know and to be shown once again that HIS timing, and provision are perfect. That HIS love is truly relentless, and that HE is SOVEREIGN.  

My Dear Brothers and Sisters in CHRIST JESUS ~ I often pray for you to have courage, not even really knowing what that meant for myself.  Today I pray for you to have courage in the midst of your fears, the storms, and tests, and trials in your life to choose HIM.  I pray that you will seek HIM, HIS will, and HIS way for your life.  I pray that you will see and feel HIS presence as HE works in you and through you on your journey towards wholeness with HIM.  I pray that if you have never felt like you were truly loved, you will seek HIM, and HE will touch your heart and show you just how much HE cares for you and deeply and truly loves you.  It is my prayer dear friends, that you will come to know that the courage and strength that you are needing to face another day, as you rest safely in the arms of your REDEEMER CHRIST JESUS.

Much love, prayers, compassion, and thankfulness for each and everyone of you,

Heather