let it go

So if you were to visit my home you would probably see one of two movies, The Croods, and Frozen.  By now I'm sure most of you have seen Frozen and know of the song, Let it Go.  It's funny to me that the very song that I have grown tired of, is exactly the message that HE is sending me this morning.  Actually that very message began last night through two incredibly special people in my life.

Last night I went for coffee with a dear friend of ten years, and she really spoke HIS truth to me about what I have been going through and dealing with.  She was incredibly encouraging that what I was facing was NOT something GOD wanted me to face alone, and that I was more than worth it to fight for.  She strongly encouraged me to seek either a Mentor or a Counselor to help me sort out everything that I have been dealing with.  After talking with her, and crying with her, I could really sense that HE was letting me know that it's time to let it go.

When I got home, D and I went to bed where we talked for over an hour about everything that has been going on with me.  D got straight to the matters of my heart, and let me know that the unforgiveness that I still harbor in my heart, is in fact my biggest stronghold.  D told me that he believes that it's NOT GOD taking me through yet another layer of my sordid past, rather it's Satan throwing it in my face, by trying to keep me angry with things that I simply cannot change.  D went onto say that it's like choosing JOY, or when I decided to follow JESUS, there was NO turning back.  

This morning, HIS Daily Teachings is bringing about both conversations I had last night with D and my friend.  HE is letting me know that when it comes to the multiple layers of my past, I need to learn to let it go.  HE is telling me that just as D spoke to me last night, I need to pre-decide that NO matter what may come up, feelings, memories etc., that I am NOT going to let it affect me.  HE is wanting me to remember that in choosing to be angry about my past, it keeps me trapped.  HE is telling me that staying angry only hurts me, as there is absolutely NOTHING I can do to change my past.  HE is wanting me to know that when I cry HE hears my cries, and HE cares for me.  HE is telling me that it pains HIM to see me in so much pain, and that it was NEVER HIS plan for me to suffer at the hands of the enemy, rather that I would be set free with HIS truth.  HE is telling me that the only way I am ever going to be free from the pain of my past is by me always choosing to let it go.

" Jesus said, “If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” John 8:31-32

This for me is difficult, as I have been so wronged in ways that I don't even remember, and when I do they completely wipe me out.  However, HE is letting me know that in choosing to pre-decide that ALL is forgiven, long before it comes up, is what it is going to take for me to be able to overcome my stronghold of unforgiveness that I have harbored way too long in my heart.

Today in my devotionals HIS message is ringing loud and clear in my ears and that is this: in order for me to overcome the unforgiveness, which really cultivates my depression, I must choose to meditate on HIS words.  This means that whenever the enemy is trying to remind me of the ALL of the horrible things that has happened to me in my past, I must choose to let it go.  HE is telling me that the reason being that I need to choose to let it go, is because it's in my past, and there is NOTHING I can do or say to change that.  HE is telling me that HE doesn't want me wasting anymore time or energy focusing on the things that I simply cannot change.  HE does however, want me to focus on what HE has planned for my life.  HE is waiting for me to say, LORD I need YOU, I need, and am ready for YOU to teach, lead, and guide me on my journey towards wholeness. 

In thinking about where I am now, from where I started out on my journey with HIM, I know that the only reason I have gotten to where I am right now, is because I have chosen to let it go the things that I simply cannot change.  HE is letting me know that the abandonment issues that I am dealing with a on a regular basis is NOT something that I need to worry about anymore, as I know, as HE has proven to me time and again that with HIM, I am NEVER alone.  HE is telling me that the days where I had to fend for myself, and felt as if no one cared if I lived or I died are over.  HE is telling me that in order for me to fulfill HIS purpose through HIS plan and HIS will for my life, I must first choose to pre-decide that I am NOT going to let anything in my past hold me back any longer.

"No one will be able to stand against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you. Be strong and courageous, because you will lead these people to inherit the land I swore to their ancestors to give them. “Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go.  Keep this Book of the Law always on your lips; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful.  Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:5-9


Last night, it hit me that the night before I fell completely apart because I was so sad that my family left me, and I missed out on ALL the fun that they had that day.  However, what HE is telling me today is in those moments where I find myself alone, I must accept that as HIS gift to me, to have alone time with HIM, and rest for my mind, soul, and body.  HE is letting me that most Mama's of five children would totally embrace alone time, as that concept is few and far between in a Mama of multiples world.  

HE is telling me that it is those moments where I find myself alone, and I feel the depression creeping in, and the sadness is overwhelmingly taking over my soul, I must pre-decide that in those moments I will choose to meditate on HIS words, HIS promises, and seek HIM with ALL that I have and ALL that I am.  HE is telling me that in order for me to be able to overcome the overwhelming feelings of sadness, and loneliness, I must choose to mediate on HIS mighty acts.  This means that in the times where I feel ALL is falling apart, I'm falling apart, I must choose to remember that HE is indeed SOVEREIGN, that HE is LORD, HE loves me and knows what is best for me.  I must choose to speak HIS truth, HIS words, so that when the darkness looms, I won't be swallowed up by it.  HE is wanting me to know that I will be able to overcome the darkness by simply choosing to let it go.

"So my spirit grows faint within me;  my heart within me is dismayed. I remember the days of long ago; I meditate on all your works and consider what your hands have done." Psalm 143:4-5

"Your mind play an important role in your victory.  Think thoughts that will add power to your life, not the ones that drain your strength and energy."  Joyce Meyer, "Power Thoughts Devotional September 9th"

Power Thought: I don't waste my time thinking about things that steal my energy ~ Joyce Meyer

Today I am seeking HIM with ALL that I am to soften my heart, and break me apart so that I will know and see what HE knows and sees.  I pray that HE will show me that it doesn't matter what has happened to me in my past, HE will fill all the gaps in my heart that I have due to the shattering of my heart from an early age on.  Today I pray that I will have the courage to run straight to HIS arms when I feel myself slipping deep into the thoughts of what has happened to me, as it is ALL in past tense, and isn't my present, and certainly has NO bearing on my future.  I am clinging tightly to HIS word today that tells me that HE has amazing plans for my life.  

" For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

Dear Friends, I pray today that you will know that HE is there, and HE cares deeply for each of you.  I pray that you will have the courage to seek HIM, and ask HIM to reveal HIS truth to you about the lies that are embedded deep into your soul.  I pray that you will be set free through HIS HOLY SPIRIT when you choose to let it go.  I pray that you will be able to overcome the strongholds in your life when you choose to seek HIS truth for your life.  I pray today that if you suffer from depression due to the circumstances of everything that has happened to you in your life, that you will know that it is NOT a part of HIS plan to keep you locked away in a prison of depression, rather it is HIS plan to set you free, so that you will be able to fulfill HIS purpose through HIS plan and HIS will in your life.  I pray that you will be filled with HIS peace that surpasses that of anything of this world when you pre-decide that NO matter what may happen to come up in your life, you will know that it doesn't matter as you have chosen to let it go.

Much love, prayers, compassion, and understanding,
Heather