"Cheap Attitude"

"Being able to maintain a good attitude during times of suffering is a virtue and it is very important."  Continual suffering is NOT GOD's will for anybody. ~ I am having difficulty writing this morning, as I have hit a mental block.  I know I have a "cheap attitude."  One of which I deem myself unworthy to receive GOD's blessings for my life, so I settle for less than what HE is wanting to give to me in abundance.  It's like when I am shopping, for some specific and find it, and proceed to go pay for it, but then second guess myself, "should I buy it?  is it to expensive?  I could buy this other thing and then use the money on the kids... oh the kids, blah blah blah they always need something.  Before I know it I talk myself out of it, don't buy it, settle for something cheaper of which I didn't want, and isn't what I wanted, or what GOD wanted to bless me with.  For as long as I can remember I have had this "cheap attitude" I decide I don't deserve it.  Growing up I always had hand-me downs, and seldom received something "new."  I was always told new things weren't affordable, and I should just "take what I get and be glad I got it."  That has been ingrained in me, so when I am shopping I hear that all the time, and feel as if though if I don't think that, then I am being ungrateful.  This way of thinking has blocked the maturing process of my faith in how GOD is wanting to bless me.   

"We must never see GOD as a stingy GOD who would withhold anything we need." ~ this is my problem, right here, because of my wrong thinking, and not aligning it to GOD's will for my life, HE is unable to provide for my needs abundantly.  Pride is a huge problem for me.  Being prideful that I take care of myself, and don't ask for help from others, so when other's do offer help, I deem myself unworthy and feel horrible that I need some one else's help.  As I read further this morning I came accross this " God blesses us so that we can bless others."  This past Christmas our family's needs were provided for completely.  Two weeks before Christmas the transmission on our van went out.  GOD provided the means for us to get it fixed, but it left us with almost nothing for Christmas for our 5 children.  I was so sad, and began to pray that some how we could still have Christmas with our children.  Well let me tell you GOD showed up and delivered BIG for our family.  I was overwhelmed by how HE used people to provide a wonderful Christmas for our family.  HE even blessed my husband and I.  I was blessed with many new clothes, and since I had lost weight I was able to wear them right away.  I ended up going through my closet and getting rid of my larger clothes and payed them forward to a woman who didn't have anything that fit her.  She came to my house to pick up the clothes, and had tears in her eyes.  She was so thankful, and when she got home she messaged me to thank me for the clothes especially a red sweater I had place amongst the clothes.  It had been and was my favorite sweater.  I wore it every year for the past 5 years at Christmas time, I felt so beautiful in it, and got a lot of compliments on it, so naturally when I heard a voice inside say, "that one too..." well to be honest I was hesistant.  The voice said," haven't I just blessed you with new clothes?"  So I carefully took my favorite sweater off the hanger, said a quick prayer, and placed it with the rest of the items in the bag. 

In blessing me, HE used me to bless someone else.  In my time of "need," HE provided, and provided for her as well. 

I didn't share my prayer request with anyone but GOD this past year, and out of the blue a wonderful angel of a woman called me up and said, "I have somethings in my garage, I felt GOD tell me its for your family."  After that phone call the blessings just kept coming.  I know now that because I let GOD bless me abundantly, HE used me to bless someone else abundantly.

I need to be reminded in my small mindedness that just because GOD isn't answering me in what I think is the right "time," it may just in fact not be in the right "time."  I get really excited when I  think I know what GOD is going to do in our lives, and then get easily discouraged when HE doesn't do anything like I  thought HE would do.  Fortunately for me, GOD is in control HIS timing is perfect and just because HE is telling me no, just means HE has something better in mind for me. 

I should NEVER doubt how much GOD loves me and just how much HE wants to bless me.

Matthew 6:25-27 really speaks to me, "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes?  Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?  Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?" ~ if GOD cares so much for the birds of the air, then surely HE cares for me, and therefore I shouldn't worry about anything, as HE always provides for my every need.

Lord Jesus I don't want to be someone of little faith.  Create in me a "shield of faith" so I will know without a doubt YOU will always provide for my every need.  Help me to see me how YOU see me, and create in me a humble heart to receive the blessings you give to me.

GOD sees me as valuable and wants to bless me with nice things.  GOD wants to bless me, so I must get rid of my "cheap attitude," and instead have a healthy self-image that I am worthy of HIS blessings.

Today I pray for anyone who has a pride problem just as myself.  That you will open your hearts up to what GOD wants to do for you in your life.  I pray for GOD's best for your life today.

Blessings,
Heather