choices

In May of 2003 I was going through the motions of being a "Christian."  I had lost our 3rd baby in March, and was still dealing with all the emotions from the loss.  D and I weren't very close, and I wanted to be.  D was reading his bible daily, and I was sort of just being pulled along.  It wasn't until Randy Travis came to Willow Creek and they played the baptism song that my heart began to change. This line of the song, is was caught my heart up, and wouldn't let go, "It was down with the old man and up with the new"  I knew I had two choices, one turn my back on GOD forever, or two fall straight into HIS arms.  I chose HIM as I had already spent enough of my life "enduring a living hell." 

I remember that HOT summer day June 22, 2003 where in front of GOD and 5,000 people I gave my "little" testimony.  I say little as GOD hadn't even begun to scratch the surface of what HE was going to teach me.  I remember my knees shaking and my voice trembling as I gave my "little testimony."  These days I can give my testimony and my knees don't shake, and my voice doesn't tremble, as I live with the confidence of knowing that JESUS is my Savior, and that if I ever doubt how much HE loves me, all I have to do is look how far I've come.  10 years of HIM teaching me, renewing my heart, soul, and mind.

It has been through my faith in HIM that I have become teachable and allowed myself to have a renewed heart, soul and mind.  I must allow myself to be teachable for the rest of my life.

Power Thought #11 - I am disciplined and self-controlled.  This was not always true for my life.  In my past I have made many decisions based upon fear, anxiety, hatred, confusion etc.  However in choosing to let HIM renew me I learned to align my thoughts and decisions to HIS will for my life.  In choosing to surrender my life to HIM, I chose to open myself up to being taught.  Everyday I am being taught how to live my new life that HE gave me.  How to align my thoughts with HIS word.  In choosing to surrender I must surrender my old ways of my old life, and choose to follow HIS ways for my new life!

I know that allowing my thoughts and actions to be aligned with HIS word will take a lot of time & effort on my part.  I know that I will achieve this through discipline and self-control.  In the past I have been a very overindulgent person.  Whatever I wanted I had, and it didn't matter whether it was good for me or not.  Whether it be food, tv, music, the people I surrounded myself with.  I did what I wanted when I wanted to.  Throughout the 1st half of my life, I was so controlled by selfishness and manipulation of the people who were suppose to love and protect me.  Therefore when I became old enough I decided I wouldn't allow anyone to control me.  These days however, I choose to let HIM control my thoughts and actions.  I choose to allow HIM to teach me and show me the way to be the Christ Follower HE calls me to be.

I know that HE still allows me to think, say, and do whatever I want, however I also know that I want to please HIM as HE has proven many times over in my life that HIS plans are far greater than anything I can imagine.  I was talking to one of the most amazingly strong people I have ever known yesterday and I shared with them how I almost gave it all up many times in my life.  We talked about how GOD was always there to rescue me, even when I didn't know it was HIM.  I know that they were saddened to hear of my "life story."  I also know that we are both so thankful that through our own personal relationship with JESUS that we are now able to have a relationship that is based on truth, HIS truth and not manipulations and lies.  Today I am thankful for the blessing of our new relationship and friendship.  You know who you are and I love you!

"For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline." 2 Timothy 1:7

When I "feel" lack of discipline, and self-control, I know that I can count on HIM to give me the strength.  Through HIS power and love I know I can stand strong against the enemy as he is trying to attack my thoughts through temptations.  I must always remember that the enemy (Satan) wants my mind.  Satan also seeks control and to be able to influence my thinking as much as he can.  Since I became a Christ Follower he has been on my heels every single second!  Therefore, I must resist him by aligning my thoughts to be Christ lead.  I can and will rebuke the thoughts from the enemy through the Power of JESUS CHRIST.

I know that just by getting up every morning and spending time in HIS word, praying, journaling, and blogging I am disciplining myself in my spiritual walk.  I know that by completing each day of the 30 day ab & squat challenge I am disciplining myself in my quest for overall health. 

I must remember that the power, liberty, joy & most of all victory are worth all of the discipline!

I know that just by choosing to be disciplined I can save myself from having to make one of two choices:  "Happy Life," "Miserable Life."  I could also say it this way,  a life being in bondage to the enemy, or a life of freedom with my Savior.  I of course choose JESUS, as I have lived in bondage for far too long.

In choosing discipline and self-control I will be able to obtain my goals.  I must meditate on "I am a disciplined person and I use self-control."

In allowing my mind the freedom to wander, I also am allowing worry, insecurity, fear, and doubt to overtake me.  However, by allowing my thoughts to align with HIS I will feel peaceful, calm, sure of myself, and confident.  I must choose NOT to be "feelings" lead, rather to be CHRIST lead.

Today I am choosing to be teachable.  I want to be more and more like JESUS in each day passing. I want a renewed  heart, soul, body, and mind.  I want to live the life that HE has chosen for me.  I am in awe of what HE has done for me thus far, and I can't wait to see what HE has planned for me in my future!

Today I pray that if struggle with self-doubt, insecurity, fear, worry, or anxiety that you would turn to the one who made you.   Look to  HIM and allow HIM to teach you.  That you will allow HIM to renew you and make you whole.  That you will make the choice of Freedom in CHRIST JESUS.

Blessings,
Heather