to be a blessing

I have been praying the GOD would help me keep a good attitude towards difficult people. Yesterday while out shopping with my oldest, I prayed specifically for an opportunity to be a blessing to someone difficult.   It didn't take long after I prayed, that HE delivered.  While backing out of a parking space a man was scowling at me, and was agitated with me.  I smiled, waved, and well kept smiling.  I continued to smile and wave as he became more irritated with me, however I didn't cease with smiling at him, and slowly he began to crack a smile, and as I began to pull away, he nodded towards me.  

This morning, I couldn't get that amazing opportunity of my prayer being answered, in the most awesome way.  As I began to write in my journal, I asked HIM, "help me LORD, teach me, and show me YOUR ways to be a blessing."  True to WHO HE is in my life, HE began to teach me what I need to be doing in order for that to be true in my life.

HIS Daily Teachings today is letting me know that in order for me to be a blessing, I must first STOP doing ALL the things I "think" I should be doing, and start focusing solely on what HE is telling me to do.  HE is wanting me to know that when I focus on multitasking, I wear myself too thin, and when it comes time for me to be a blessing I always end up NOT being able to follow through, and this is because I have made my life about doing what I want to do, NOT what I should be doing.

WOAH!!! What?  Hold the PHONE, I'm a Mama of 5, homeschooling, married for almost 16 years, I write this blog, I seek HIM daily, and I try, oh do I TRY to be the woman of FAITH that HE calls me to be.  Seriously?  That is NOT enough????  Okay, rant and pity party OVER.

HE is letting me know that in order for me to be a blessing I must first understand that my past has made me WHO I am.  So much in fact, that if it weren't for my past I wouldn't know WHO HE is, therefore I wouldn't be on this amazing journey with HIM, discovering WHOSE I am.  

HE is wanting me to know that it is foolish for me to "think" that my journey would always be about me, and HIM changing me, and transforming me, and renewing me, and blah blah blah blah...... I'm sensing a theme here... you know me, myself, and I???? Yes, once again HE is letting me know that when I gave my life to CHRIST, and HE began revealing HIS truth to me, as I began to intentionally seek HIM, I was given HIS HOPE, and thus my real healing began, and forgiveness began to be a reoccurring theme in my life.  

HE is taking it one step further this morning in teaching me that my life, as I know it, is NO longer about me.  Meaning that the hopelessness that I once felt is NO longer a part of me, and what IS a part of me, is HIS HOPE!  HE is telling me that is HIS message that HE is calling me to deliver!  HE is wanting me to know that my past has been on purpose so that HE would be able to use me as HIS living vessel to reach the hopeless, and the lost.

Once again HE is reminding me that I am NOT the only person on this planet WHO was once lost, but is now found.  HE is telling me that there are millions of lost, last, and least, broken, and alone people that HE has intended for me to meet, and encounter on purpose.  

It is overwhelming for me to think that each day that I am given to live this amazing life that I have been given is more of HIS opportunities to teach, lead, and guide me to show me and create in me, and transform my heart to be like HIS when it comes to other people.  I am astonished at how my life story these days is more about other people, and so much less about me.  

In knowing that my life has been on purpose for HIS purpose, it makes it all so much more bearable when the storms rage in my life.  It is refreshing to me to know that the storms are designed to build me stronger, so I can face even more difficult circumstances in my life, when it comes to being a blessing to those WHO are difficult to be around, encounter, or just have to communicate with.

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,[a] whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.  Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." James 1:2-4

It saddens me to think about how many opportunities I have wasted in what HE was teaching me about being a blessing.  However, this morning HE is telling me that HE doesn't want me to be sad, HE wants me to REJOICE in the fact that HIS truth has been revealed to me, and now I have been set free from my own foolish "thinking," that my life was always going to be just about me, myself, and I.

About a month ago, HE blessed me with a new book called "Lifegiving" by Tammy Maltby.  This morning this book began to be my hearts cry, as I so desperately want to be a lifegiver, to be a blessing to others.  

"Quiet demons may be whispering death to us in our personal and public lives."  Tammy Maltby, "Lifegiving"

Upon reading that line this morning, it brought sadness to my heart, as this was truly the story of my life at one point.  However, HE rescued me, saved me, delivered me, and redeemed me.  HE gave me HOPE when I was hopeless, and filled me with HIS amazing love, and grace relentlessly.  Today HE is telling me that it is time for me to let go of my past, and seek first HIM and allowing HIM to build HIS KINGDOM in me.  This means that in order for me to be a blessing, I must be willing to wait on HIS timing, and provision that will allow me ample opportunities to be a blessing.

"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." Matthew 6:33

HE is reminding me once again that I have life experience of loss, trauma, and abuse for a purpose, written on purpose, for HIS purpose, so that I, Heather, would reach this part of my amazing journey towards wholeness with HIM as a LIFEGIVER.

"We agonizingly look at other women who seem to flow in the river of life, loving and nurturing everyone they meet."  Tammy Maltby "Lifegiving"

This is true for my life, or at least until now, as up until now I didn't fully understand how, or why things happened the way they did.  I was uncomfortable in telling my story face to face with people.  I was embarrassed to speak of my past, in fear that I would be judged.  Knowing full well that I didn't do anything to deserve what happened to me, never the less still struggled with judgement of my weirdness, and WHY are you so different, what is wrong with you?..... encounters, sometimes hateful with others.

"The worst experiences of your life actually have the most lifegiving potential."  Tammy Maltby "Lifegiving"

Oh this was HIS cool cleansing, living water, for my parched soul this morning.  HIS message came to me right when I needed it.  In a way that I didn't know how to ask HIM, or seek HIM to show me, or teach me, how to overcome the overwhelming feelings of sadness, regret, shame, and pain when it came to sharing my story.  

Today I am truly seeing WHO I am through HIS perspective.  Today I am seeking HIM, and asking HIM to show me ways that I will be able to be a blessing to others.  Today I will walk through the trenches with courage, and allow HIM to take me deep into the darkness of another persons heart to show them a glimpse of HIS light, waiting for there, for them to seek.  Today, I will be a blessing.   Today I will meditate on HIS words, and follow HIS ways, and hold tight to HIS truth that HE doesn't makes mistakes.  That every single circumstance that I encounter is an opportunity for me to see HIM, and for others to see HIM in me, when I choose to be a blessing.

My Dear Brothers and Sisters in CHRIST JESUS ~ oh how my heart aches for each of you. I am confident that GOD uses me to be a blessing to each of you each time you read this blog.  There is a reason it is called HIS Daily Teachings, as it is NOT by my own doing, and own understanding that I write, but rather by my seeking HIM, and asking HIM to reveal to me what it is that I need to be doing, and what I need to know about how to live my life according to HIS will.  MY dear friends, I pray today that you will seek HIM with that same courage, and that you will come to see HIM in your life.  I pray that HE will reveal to you HIS truth about your past, or your present circumstances.  I pray that you will  know that HIS HOPE is there for you, and HE is waiting for you.  I pray that you will know that it is HIS intention for you to seek HIM, be filled with HIS amazing love, and grace that is truly and completely relentless.  I pray that when you do, you will have the courage to seek HIM, and ask HIM to show you the ways that you too can be a blessing to others.

Much love, prayers, compassion, tears,  and understanding,

Your Sister in CHRIST JESUS,

~ Heather