intentional

A year ago I was HUGE mess.  In my prayer life, in my marriage, in my motherhood, in my friendships, I was a HUGE mess.  As each day passed, I found myself asking HIM, "Why GOD, why is life so hard?"  Over and over I heard from HIM, "Why don't you trust ME?"  "Why don't you believe ME?"  Over and over I would hear this, and each time I did I fell deeper and deeper into a pit of despair.

It wasn't until I realized that until I decided to become intentional in my walk with HIM, meaning seeking HIM daily, and allowing HIM to teach, lead, and guide me through every single moment of my journey, things weren't going to get any better.

In January of this past year, I began to pray as I never had before, and sadly it wasn't until I reached my breaking point which was on May 24, 2013 that I found myself standing in the book section at Wal-Mart, on date night with D.  This was unusual for me, as I hardly ever browsed or bought books at Wal-Mart.  However, a certain book caught my eye, and I felt HIM "whisper" "pick it up."  The book was titled "Women's Daily Declarations  for Spiritual Warfare"  Biblical principles to beat the Devil by John Eckhardt.  I quickly opened the book to the next day's reading, May 25, and this was the heading that I read: "You will experience a breakthrough"  as I read those words, tears began to fall, and I became so overwhelmed with emotions that I couldn't hardly see.  I must have stood in that aisle for at least fifteen minutes crying as I read what HE was telling me on that day.  

"My daughter I have anointed you for breakthrough.  I am the LORD, Your breaker, and I will go before you.  I have reconciled you to MYSELF through MY SON and have given you the ministry of reconciliation.  Your light will break forth like the morning, and your healing  shall spring forth speedily.  You will worship ME and sing praises to MY name.  The end of all things is at hand; therefore break through in your prayers and be ever serious and watchful for me."

"The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me
to proclaim good news to the poor.He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners" Isaiah 61:1

"The One who breaks open the way will go up before them;  they will break through the gate and go out. Their King will pass through before them, the Lord at their head.” Micah 2:13

"We are not trying to commend ourselves to you again, but are giving you an opportunity to take pride in us, so that you can answer those who take pride in what is seen rather than in what is in the heart." 2 Corinthians 5:12

"Then your light will break forth like the dawn,and your healing will quickly appear;then your righteousness will go before you, and the glory of the Lord will be your rear guard." Isaiah 58:8

"The end of all things is near. Therefore be alert and of sober mind so that you may pray." 

1 Peter 4:7

When the tears finally stopped, I looked at D and told him, "I don't usually ask this, but can I please buy this book?"  He asked me how much it was, and I told him.  I could tell he was uncomfortable paying that much for such a little book, however now we know that it has been the best purchase ever, as it has been a life renewing book!  

I couldn't wait till the very next day to start my reading of this book, and after I read through the first days, I said  aloud this prayer: 

        "LORD, through YOU I will experience breakthrough in every area of my life.  Let me break through in my finances and all my relationships.  Give me a breakthrough in my health with healing. Let me break through to new levels in my praise and worship to YOU.  I will experience a deeper prayer life and will ever be watchful for YOU to act in my life."

When I finished reading and proclaiming that prayer, tears fell like waterfalls.  I cried what has been one of the most cleansing tears in my entire life.  It was in that moment that I realized that a breakthrough in the HUGE mess of my life was possible.

HE is letting me know today that the breakthrough that I have received, and have been living through has only been possible because I have been intentional.  HE is teaching me that the more time I spend thinking about what HE says, the more I seek HIM, and the more I dive deep into HIS word, the more I will be filled by the power of HIS HOLY SPIRIT.  I am learning that because I have surrendered, and chosen to pick up my cross and follow HIM, that I have received such a tremendous breakthrough.

Now this is not to say, that I am totally free, which I am most certainly not, it just means that when my life gets hard, and the storms are brewing and the oceans are rising, HE is there, HE is helping me, and because I have been intentional and have chosen to BELIEVE that HE is there, I know that I can get through anything that life throws at me.

I am learning that only because I have been intentional in choosing to seek HIM first in my life, and to dive daily deep into HIS word, that I am able to write this blog.  HE is letting me know that the more I seek HIM, and HIS Daily Teachings for my life, the stronger, and the more peaceful I will become.

In the past seven months my faith in HIM has grown by leaps and bounds, and today HE has revealed it to me that it is only because I have chosen to be intentional in my walk with HIM.  Today He has reminded me that until I began seeking HIM daily, HE really was just my "spare tire."

It pains me to think that the only time I relied on HIM in my past, is when things were hard.  Then in my selfish human ways, I would push HIM away, and say, "Hey GOD thanks for all the help, but things are great now, I got this GOD."  Foolishly I would say, "You go help someone who really needs it."  Ha!  As if I, Heather, a  hott mess, could possibly have better thoughts and plans than HIM?  I laugh now, as I have been given plenty of slices of humble pie.  However, when HE first started dishing out the humble pie, I choked pretty hard on it.  I was embarrassed, and honestly I was much too prideful to see that "my ways" were very foolish.

Over and over I was like a "broken record."  I would do things "my way" I would make a HUGE mess, "wreck the car," and only in the aftermath of my self-destruction would I call on HIM.  HE has revealed to me today that I used to only call on HIM when I "needed" HIS help, but when it came to devoting my precious, self seeking, self-serving, time to HIM, I was always able to come up with a million hundred reasons why I couldn't spare any of my "precious" time.

Throughout the past seven months of seeking HIM daily, I have learned that HE truly is a jealous GOD.  I have learned that even when I "think" "Surely YOU, GOD must be sick of me and my foolishness by now?"  Today I think HE might have even laughed at my thought of that, and said, "I will NEVER grow tired of you, or tired of teaching you!"  "Nothing you could EVER do or say would make ME, YOUR loving heavenly FATHER WHO adores you, love you any less than I already do!"  Today that no matter what I do to HIM, I will never exasperate HIM, or make HIM grow tired of me.  nothing......

HE is wanting me to know that HE NEVER grows tired of me!  HE loves it when I am intentional, when I admit that I need HIM every single moment of my life.  Therefore, I must be intentional in seeking HIM daily, and asking HIM to teach, lead, and guide me through every single step of my journey with HIM.  I must seek HIS advice, and HIS counsel, and I must align my thoughts to HIS thoughts, so that my purpose, will be HIS purpose, and I will follow HIS path for my life.

HE is teaching me that I can't expect to have a deep and meaningful relationship with anyone, until I am willing to be intentional and willing to go the distance.  I am learning that this is especially true with my relationship with HIM.  Therefore, I must be intentional in seeking HIM daily!

Joyce Meyer writes: "Most people do not delve into the Word of GOD very deeply.  As a result they get confused about why they are not powerful Christians living victorious lives."

As I read those words, I know that very statement was written for the past tense of me, and as a reminder to the present tense of me, and to meditate on deeply for the future me.  I know that this has all been HIS plan, and HIS purpose for my life.  I know that HE gets excited when the next act, or next chapter of my life is about to begin! I must be intentional that no matter what the circumstances may be in my life, when the time comes I know that the show must go on.  

HE is letting me know that gone are the days of my being lazy in seeking to be filled by HIS word through someone else.  Gone are the days where I rely solely on other's teachings and preachings to build my faith in HIM.  HE has let me know that the time has come that if I truly desire a deep and meaningful relationship with HIM, then I must be intentional!

"A person will get out of HIS word what he or she is willing to  put into it."

I know that this is HIS way of telling me that I must be in HIS word Daily, and be ready to learn HIS Daily Teachings every single day.  I must be intentional and meditate on HIS word.  

"Blessed is the one who does not walk in step with the wicked or stand in the way that sinners take or sit in the company of mockers,but whose delight is in the law of the Lord,and who meditates on his law day and night." Psalm 1:1-2

In seeking HIM and by allowing HIS Daily Teachings to be the core focus in my life, I am learning as each day passes that HIS plan and HIS purpose is what is meant to be for my life.  In choosing to be intentional in building a deeper and meaningful relationship with HIM, I am falling deeper and more in love with my SAVIOR.  

Just this past Sunday D and I attended a church where we took part in communion.  As the Pastor spoke JESUS' words as HE broke the bread for HIS disciples, and held the cup of wine, JESUS blood,............my tears began to fall.  The magnitude of what taking part in communion really meant to me personally.  I always thought it was just something you did, not something that you were to thank HIM for, or to acknowledge HIM for.  I honestly was oblivious to communion until this past Sunday, where all I could think about what thanking HIM a million times for dying for me, for sacrificing HIMSELF so that I wouldn't have to spend one day apart from HIM or my HEAVENLY FATHER.  I am thankful that I was able to understand the magnitude of communion all because I have chosen to be intentional.

"My son, pay attention to what I say; turn your ear to my words." Proverbs 4:20

HE is wanting me to know that HIS word is all I need to be thinking about.  

" Keep this Book of the Law always on your lips; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful." 

Joshua 1:8

I am learning that this means I must be intentional in choosing to meditate on HIS word, and allow HIM to show me the way I am to live my life.  A life full of HIS plans, and HIS purpose, to be the Hands and Feet of JESUS, to love others, and to be kind, and generous, and giving.  To be forgiving, and to not judge, but to love, show mercy, and to extend grace.  These are HIS commandments, this is HIS law.  I must be intentional and live my life according to HIS word!

"The devil was controlling my life, because he was controlling my thoughts."

Oh how I could have written that for myself.  It wasn't until I realized that I would never be able to grow in my faith in HIM, or that I would never be able to know HIM, until I became intentional in building a personal relationship with HIM!

I am learning that through HIS word and HIS Daily Teachings that I have been set free by HIS love, and HIS power and HIS authority.  I know this to be true as I have been intentional in seeking the truth, HIS truth, not the barrage of lies that Satan and his demons had been fooling me with.

Once again HE is telling me that I must be intentional in saying "NO" to my fleshly desires.  I am to seek what is good, true, and honoring to HIM.  Then I must obey and do what He tells me to do, no matter how I may "feel."

"All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our flesh and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature deserving of wrath." Ephesians 2:3

I am learning that for me being intentional means being willing to be held accountable for my thoughts and my actions.  To say it another way, I can't get mad when I make a mistake, and I need to be held accountable for my mistake.  I can't get mad when the consequence is me partaking in a HUGE slice of humble pie.  I can't get mad, when I am the one who must say they are sorry, or when I must be the bigger person.

Today HE has revealed to me that one of the areas where I really need to be intentional is when I allow myself to become easily discouraged, which leads to depression.  This is to say when I am depressed it kicks my butt every time.  HE is letting me know that it is imperative that I remain intentional in seeking HIM and HIS will for my life,  when I am depressed. 

"So my spirit grows faint within me;my heart within me is dismayed.I remember the days of long ago; I meditate on all your works and consider what your hands have done" Psalm 143:4-5

"Your mind plays an important role in your victory"

I am learning that this means that I must be intentional in lining up HIS word with my thinking.  I must shut of the "noise" of the world is telling me to do, and focus on what HE is telling me to do.  I must allowing HIM to transform and renew my mind DAILY, as there is never ever going to be a moment in my life where I am going to be okay without HIM!

"Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will." Romans 12:2

"Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things." Philippians 4:8

I pray that today is the day that you will decide that it is time for you to be intentional.  I pray that HE will reveal HIMSELF to you in a way that will rock your world.  I pray for HIS timing, and  HIS provision for your life.  I pray that you will allow your thoughts to align with HIS plans and HIS purpose for your life, as HE truly does love you and knows you best.  I pray for HIS favor and HIS blessings to be poured over your life when you choose to be intentional in seeking to have a deeper, more meaningful relationship with HIM.

Blessings,
Heather 

Believe! Part 2

By now, if you have been reading my blog for a while, you have noticed and read that GOD works in themes in my life.  Apparently, one dose of BELIEVE, was not near enough for me, so it's no surprise to me that this morning HE woke me up at 4:30 a.m. like clock work, and I, in all of my stubbornness, "tried" to go back to sleep.  By 5:11 a.m. I gave up "trying" and retreated to D's office and began today's teaching.

HIS Daily Teaching today was to continue to show me where my disbelief lies in my thoughts.  HE  has shown me today that I have allowed this disbelief to come into my thoughts, without even realizing that it was there.  Today I read these words, "unbelief produces misery."  If that isn't the truth, I don't know what is.

For the past two almost three months, I have found myself dwindling in my faith and belief in HIM that HE  has really called me to write HIS Daily Teachings.  Even as each day that I see the stats climbing, I am still struggling with disbelief that I am doing what HE has called me to do.  Over and over I have been struggling with doubts, and thoughts of "no one reads it really, no one will even notice if I don't write it anymore."  I knew those thoughts were not from HIM, however I was constantly struggling with those very thoughts.

In today's reading HE has shown me that I have allowed "mind binding spirits" to enter my thoughts.  Spirits who have taken HIS word and twisted in, and have caused mass chaos and confusion in my life.   In not realizing that this was happening, I have been allowing myself to be taken over by the disbelief in my life, and I have failed miserably at HIS Daily Teachings.

HE is asking me to share another one of my failures that the disbelief has caused in my life.  My thoughts, and actions have become very negative.  Doubt has set very deep into my heart, and I have never felt more isolated and alone in this world, that I have in the past few months.  I have become a Mama of rage, and a wife of hatred without realizing it.  

HE is wanting me to know that HE didn't reveal this to me to make me feel bad, and to make me feel worse than I already do.  I am learning that HE has revealed this so that I will be filled by HIS power, and HIS authority through HIS HOLY SPIRIT working in me, and through me, to set me free!  How powerful that thought is to me, and how freeing it is to me to know that HE truly is fighting for me!  

Last night I attended a friend's at home party, and I "tried" connecting with someone I had met just recently, and, well they rejected me.  I came home in tears, as doubt had set in once again, and once again HE began to whisper to me, "Do you believe ME?"  "Do you trust ME?"  "Haven't I proven MYSELF to you?"  "You are not who you think you are!"  "You are MY daughter, I love you, I have chosen you to be this way for MY plan, and MY purpose!"  "Believe ME, I would never do anything that would bring harm to you!"  "I have called you and have set you apart for MY good, which in turn is for your good!"

Even just typing this all out this morning has been so overwhelming to me that HE truly does care for me!  HE truly does love me, and HE continues to seek me, and "whisper" to me the things that I am struggling with!  Today HE is letting me know that I must meditate on HIS words:

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7

I am learning that this means I must bring it ALL to HIM.  ALL of my doubts, ALL of my fears,  and ALL of my questions will be answered by HIM.  HE is letting me know that HIS truth will be spoken to me, and I will be filled by HIS peace that surpasses anything and everything of this world.  I must BELIEVE!

HE is wanting me to know that in choosing to allow disbelief in my thoughts, I have lost sight of my calling.  In making the agreements to say that "no one really cares, no one will miss it," I have missed out of some of HIS DAILY Teachings.  I am learning that the more I say NO to HIM, the harder it is, and the longer it takes for me to fully understand HIS Daily Teachings.  

HE is revealing to me today that I have been allowing myself to become more and more discouraged as each day in my journey passes.  It pains me to know that I have wasted time in worrying, doubting, disbelieving, and dishonoring HIS very teachings that HE has blessed me with so that my life will be lived according to HIS plan and HIS purpose.

Once again HE is telling me that HE wants to set me free from these "mind binding spirits" therefore, I must choose to BELIEVE!  I must do what HE calls me to do!  I must do what HE tells me to do! I must obey HIS word!  I must BELIEVE!

"To the Jews who had believed him, Jesus said, “If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” John 8:31-32

HE is telling me that in choosing to stay in HIS word, I am truly one of HIS disciples.  Once again HE letting me know that I have been anointed by HIS HOLY SPIRIT.  I am learning once again that I have been anointed because I have chosen to BELIEVE!

"He sent out his word and healed them;he rescued them from the grave." Psalm 107:20

Now begins round two of HIM teaching me that HE is my deliverer.  HE can, will, and does rescue me from my very own pit of destruction.  HE is letting me know that enough time has been wasted in me doubting, fearing, and worrying.  HE is telling me that it is time that I choose to BELIEVE! 

Three months ago GOD sent us on a new journey, and that was D' new job, and our new home.  While I love that D loves his new job, and I love our new home, I have found myself becoming incredibly "homesick."  I have found myself, agreeing to thoughts of "I hate it here, I wish we would have never moved."  I have found myself asking HIM why, "WHY GOD, why did YOU have to take away our church, our loving church family?"  "When GOD when are you going to bless us with a new church to call "home?"  As each day has passes I have found myself longing for what used to be, instead of keeping myself ready for what is to come.  I have failed to understand that nothing is impossible for HIM when I choose to BELIEVE!  

Today HE has revealed to me that because of my disbelief, I have forgotten that HE has called me to write this blog.  I, Heather, in my humanness have allowed myself to live in continual shock that HE has chosen me, Heather, a broken hott mess, to write something so great.  I write the word great, as HE is great!  HIS word is great!  HIS love is great!  HIS mercy is great!  HIS truth is great!

GREAT is the ONE WHO is in me, WHO loves me, WHO fights for me, WHO calls on me to pick up my cross daily, and follow HIM.  GREAT is the ONE WHO paves the way for me to walk, and WHO holds my hand and carries me through the storms that threaten to take me out.  GREAT is the ONE WHO has saved me, and delivered me from the evil that has been trying to destroy me since the day of my birth.

I know all of this to be true, all because I have chosen to BELIEVE!

HE is telling me that enough is enough.  I am called by HIM to write about my testimony.  I am called to be the HANDS and FEET of JESUS.  I BELIEVE and I TRUST that HIS plans and HIS purpose for my life is far greater than I could ever imagine.

"I know your deeds. See, I have placed before you an open door that no one can shut. I know that you have little strength, yet you have kept my word and have not denied my name." Revelations 3:8

Joyce Meyer writes: "I'm sure that you are reading this book right now, because you were led to it."

I would say that you are reading this blog right now, because you were led to it.

HE is wanting me to know that just as I am struggling with overcoming the disbelief in my life, there are so many more people in this world with the exact same struggle.  HE is wanting me to know that my writing this blog is not only to remind me of HIS Daily Teachings, but to bring hope to the hopeless.  To encourage and to be encouraged as I see the stats climb daily.  To speak HIS word, and HIS truth, so that it will bring HIS healing word to the wounded and broken hearts that are all everywhere.  To share my life as a living testament of WHO the ONE TRUE LIVING GOD is, what HE has done, and what HE will continue to do.  

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds,  because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.  Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.  If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God,who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.  But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.  That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord.  Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do." James 1:2-8

I am honored and humbled each time I write HIS Daily Teachings, as I know that my struggles, and strife are for my own good.  I know that HE has it all worked out for my own good, and HE keeps me in constant need for HIM to teach, lead, and guide me through every single moment of my journey with HIM.  I am amazed at how I can't go more than a few days with out completely craving HIS word, and needing to be filled by HIS HOLY SPIRIT and needing HIS constant guidance in each step I take. I am thankful that when I speak HIS truth, from HIS word, I can, and will be set free!  All because I have chosen to BELIEVE!

I pray today that you will be filled by HIS word, and HIS promise and you will be set free when you choose to BELIEVE!  I pray that you will have the courage to pray, seek, and ask HIM to teach, lead, and guide you through every single step of your journey.  I pray that when the doubts set in you know that HE is there, HE is fighting for you, HE loves you and HE will continue to rescue you.  I pray that through it all one thing will remain in your thoughts, and that is you will choose to BELIEVE!

Blessings,
Heather 

anchor

At 4:15 a.m. this morning, I sprang out of bed, and made a mad dash to our living room.  It is only day 2 and I have already forgotten Elf on the Shelf.  Honestly, I probably couldn't have cared less at that point in continuing on, after the day I had yesterday with my son.  All day long he was testing me, disrespecting me, hurting his little brother, hurting me, spewing evil and hatred to me, and I .................................. well I am welling up with tears just writing this, I fell for it.  Hook.... line..... and...... sinker.

I am not proud of the way I spoke to my son yesterday or for thoughts I entertained yesterday, but I felt as if though I didn't know how I was going to get through the day.  I called D, and explained to him the situation at home, he listened, and let me know that he would head home shortly.  However, that was not to be the case, he ended up having to stay, and there I was in a face-off with my four year old son.

Had you witnessed how I handle things yesterday you would have been scratching your head, wondering who was the four year old.  You also would have been puzzled during, well a screaming match, even though I was the only one screaming between D and I last night.  D went to bed, not saying a word to me, and I fell completely apart.  I cried as if though I have never cried before, I laid it all out to my HEAVENLY FATHER, and I begged HIM to please forgive me.  I cried because lately I feel so out of control with my thoughts and emotions.

HIS Daily Teachings today was HIS loving reminder no matter what may be happening in my life I can hold onto HOPE, as HE is my anchor.  HE will save me, HE will love me, HE will continue to seek me, HE will NOT forsake me, with HIM I will NOT be shaken.  

It pains me to write all of this out this morning, as this is a classic, stubborn pride moment for me.  One of which I have been working on since, well..... birth.  This is the ugly side of me, this is the painful side of me, this is the side that only my closet family has ever seen of me, and now HE is asking me to share it with well.... basically the world.

HE is telling me that I am writing about this today, not to feel embarrassed or to feel like a failure, but to see and know that HE is my anchor.  HE is teaching me that HE is my anchor that calms my raging seas.  I am learning that HE calms me by filling me with HIS hope, HIS love, HIS peace, HIS mercy, and HIS grace.  HE has forgiven me, I must forgive myself.  I must choose to let go of my "need" to hide my face in embarrassment, and hold my head high, and look to HIM, as HE can, will, and does give me everything that I need.

HIS loving reminder came to me through a song, that when I sing it, makes my heart smile.  "Cornerstone" by Hillsong United, has become one of my go to songs in my times of trial, and when I am being filled with thoughts of despair.  This morning, HE had me say these verses from the song, as HIS loving reminder, that HE is my anchor.  "In CHRIST alone, cornerstone, weak made strong, in the SAVIOR's love, through the storm HE is LORD, LORD of all."  "When darkness seems to hide HIS face, I rest on HIS unchanging grace, in every high and storm gale, my anchor holds within the veil."

"We have this as a sure and steadfast anchor of the soul, a hope that enters into the inner place behind the curtain" Hebrews 6:19

HE is wanting me to know that HE calls on me, not to rub it in my face of my wrongs, but rather to teach me to be gracious and good, so that HE can, and will continue HIS good works through me.  HE is telling me just as HE has been telling me time and again, that condemnation does NOT come from HIM.  Therefore, I must stop beating myself up over my failures, and look to HIM, and when I do I will find joy, and I will be filled with HIS peace.  

"Therefore the Lord waits to be gracious to you,and therefore he exalts himself to show mercy to you. For the Lord is a God of justice; blessed are all those who wait for him." Isaiah 30:18

HE is teaching me that my incessant "need" to be perfect is tripping me up every time.  HE wants me to know that in order to live my life the way HE wants me to, I must seek HIM, and ask HIM to teach, lead, and guide me through every single moment of my journey.  I must choose joy when the storms are brewing in my life, and when the waters rise, trust in HIM that HE is my anchor, and nothing can tear me away from HIM.

HE is telling me that lately I have allowed my thoughts to be poisoned, and therefore I have been robbed of my decision to be joyful.  HE is wanting me to know that in order to live the way HE wants me to live, I must choose to view each day that I am given as a gift from HIM.

"Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change." James 1:17

One of my most painful moments during my bible study this morning was this:  HE is teaching me that in my anger I tend to let my anger control me.  In choosing to let my anger control me, I end up spewing evil and hatred to every single person I come in contact with.   I am learning, that I must get control of my thoughts, so that I will not spew the evil and hatred that Satan and his demons oppress me with.  I must let go of the evil forebodings that I have been plagued with since birth.   

"All the days of the oppressed are wretched,but the cheerful heart has a continual feast." Proverbs 15:15

"Whoever would love life and see good days must keep their tongue from evil and their lips from deceitful speech." 1 Peter 3:10

Controlling my tongue has been a HUGE challenge for me lately.  Thankfully my "ABBA" loves me enough to not let me fall, and not let me stay in this negative thinking.  Once again, HE has brought me to my knees, and humbled me and given me the strength to face my wrongdoings.  Thankfully HIS love, grace, mercy, and forgiveness have been poured over my life.

HE is letting me know that HE is always there fighting for me!  HE is telling me that when I am feeling overwhelmed, and feel as if though I am being taken over, all I have to do is ask, and HE can, will, and does fill me with HIS hope!

I am learning that in order to continue to be filled with HIS hope, I must first seek HIM, and ask HIM to teach, lead, and guide me through every single step of my journey.  I must do this so that I will be living my life in the way that HE intended for me to live.  

This morning HE has let me know that my time of suffering, and feeling overwhelmed is over, HE is my anchor and HE will give me hope, I must believe!  HE is letting me know that "NO MATTER WHAT" happens to me.............. I can trust HIM.  This I know I can, because HE has proven HIMSELF time and again in my journey with HIM.  Therefore, I must trust HIM, I must walk by my faith in HIM, that HE is my anchor, when the oceans rise.

I pray today that the GOD of peace, will fill your heart, soul, and mind with the knowledge that when the storms rage, and the oceans rise in your life, HE is your anchor.  I pray that you will abandon your thoughts of condemnation, and seek HIM to show you who exactly you are, because of whose you are!  I pray that you will be able to forgive yourself for your wrong doing, and you will allow yourself to be humbled by HIM.  I pray today that if you are struggling, and you are finding your faith dwindling, you will be able to find comfort, in knowing that HE is your anchor, and HE will not let go of you.  HE will not forsake you.  

Blessings,
Heather 

Believe!

"I don't believe in GOD, and neither does my mom, because HE NEVER does anything good for us"  Those words are the words that pierced my heart last night during a slumber party for my soon to be nine year olds slumber party.  As I began to pray and ask GOD to come into this little girls life, I was A-M-A-Z-E-D by what I heard next, and that was one by one the other little girls began to witness to this one little girl.  As each little girl spoke about what they believe in GOD, and spoke of their love for HIM, my heart began to soar.  Right there in my living room I was able to witness these little girls witness to a wounded heart.

The season of wonder and magic is here, YES, it's CHRIST-MAS time!  This happens to be my most favorite time of year, and I love doing special things with my children to make it more and more memorable as each year passes.  This year however, Satan has really been at my heels, trying to keep me from all of HIS wonder and magic, or HIS favor and blessings to be poured over my life.

Two weeks ago my husband D and I bought the fun little game at CHRIST-MAS time called the Elf on the Shelf.  My three daughters never really "believed" in Santa Clause, however that is not the case with my son. Oh, he believes, and he will tell you how much he believes.  He is hands down the most enthusiastic of our five children.  He brings so much joy and laughter to our hearts, and I am constantly in awe at how much his little heart believes in his SAVIOR.

This past Thanksgiving my four year old son was the one to say the blessing before we ate.  I could see the look on our family members faces, as they couldn't believe that he would be able to pray in that way.  I knew however, the very people who do and share life with him every single day knew.  Even in his four year old little heart, he is able to believe!

HIS Daily Teachings today is HIS loving reminder that I must choose to believe!  Once again I have allowed myself to be pulled away from my faith in HIM, and I have strayed in my thoughts, which at times have become my actions.  Today as I was journaling and asking HIM to help me overcome my disbelief, HE reminded me that HE is my ROCK!  HE is my SALVATION!  HE is with me!  With HIM, I won't be afraid!  Therefore, I must choose to believe that HE is who HE says HE is, and HE will do what HE says HE will do!

Just to clarify, I started writing this particular blog this past Sunday, and truthfully it has been 3 days since I last journaled, and did my bible study.  HE has been teaching me that I couldn't finish my blog titled Believe!, because I needed to overcome my disbelief.  

For the past three days I have been waiting for HIM to reveal to me what it is that I need to believe, and it wasn't until late last night as I laid my head on my pillow, closed my eyes, that my prayers flooded me with emotion, and I poured my heart and soul out to HIM, and asked HIM to please bless us with a church for us to call home, just as HE did the night HE lead us straight to ELEVATE church.

HE has let me know, that when I seek HIM, HE does answer my calls, and HE is there for me!  HE is wanting me to know that just as HE answered my call for a church to call home then, HE can, and will answer my call now.  I am finding myself struggling with the fact that a church that we once called home, feels like a total distant memory, and what once filled us with what we were "needing" is now no longer the case.

Since Sunday, I have cried my heart out, and begged GOD to help our family.  That just as our sadness has grown with no church to call home, our relationships as a family have begun to unravel, and fall apart.  My heart has been torn as I have watched my children become angrier as each day passes.  I have fallen apart myself, when I have realized just how much I have given into my anger that has found residence within me once again.

My wonderful soul-sister "M" called me on Tuesday and reminded me of a Psalm that I have read, and even blogged about.  She reminded me that no matter what I make "think" of myself, GOD thinks so much better of me.  Through her, HE is reminding me that I am wonderfully made, that I am magnificent.  HE is wanting me to know that it pains HIM to see me cry, and to know that I am in longing, only because I have NOT asked.  I am learning that if I truly desire something, I must 1st seek HIM, and it will be given to me, as HE makes all things work together for my good.

HE is telling me that the current struggle, and test that I am in, is only to grow my faith in HIM even more.  He is wanting me to know that when I finally overcome my disbelief in HIM, and choose to really believe in HIM, HE will pour HIS blessings and favor over me.

HE is telling me that I am NOT in control.  HE is wanting me to remember that it is HIS plan, and HIS purpose for my life that I need to be seeking.  Therefore, I must seek HIM, and allow HIM to align my thoughts to HIS.   HE is teaching me that I must not let my thoughts go to the dark side, I must see myself as HE sees me. 

Since Sunday, HE has been reminding me that this is why HE has given me the perfect gift under the tree, and that is my SAVIOR, JESUS CHRIST.  HE has let me know that because HE loves me so much, HE gave HIS only SON, so that I may be able to live an eternal life with HIM in HEAVEN.

Once again, I am feeling overwhelmed by my father's love, and I sorry that it has taken me this long to really truly understand, what HIS Daily Teachings has been about throughout this particular blog.  I am thankful that HE has kept calling me, breathing HIS "whispers" to me that I must truly believe in HIM, not only in HIM, but to believe that HE is who HE says HE is, and HE will do what HE says HE will do!

Once again, I am finding myself eating a HUGE slice of humble pie, in realizing that HE truly does do things for my own good.  HE works out EVERYTHING for my good.  HE is telling me that it is HIS good, for HE is good!

" And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28

One of the things that saddens me these days is how drastically life has changed for me in the past year.  I went from having my fifth baby, and being involved in a loving church family.  Leading a small group of fantastic people with D every Sunday.  Every Sunday morning getting up and serving GOD with some of my favorite people.  Being filled with HIS word, and encouragement from a core group of CHRIST following GODLY women, to where I am now.  No core group of women, not serving, no church to call home, no small group, isolated, lonely..........growing daily in despair.......... all because of my........ disbelief in HIM.

Once again HE is reminding me that in choosing to believe in HIM will help me to be flexible when HIS plans for my life change.  HE is telling me that just because things didn't work out the way I "thought" they would, doesn't mean that they aren't going to work out for my own good.  HE is showing me that through this change that we have gone through, I have become a very negative person, and I have been speaking in a very negative way.  This is I know is HIS loving reminder that it is past time that I ditch my "stinkin thinkin."

" Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight." Romans 12:16

As I was reading HIS words this morning I heard HIM say to me "why do you think you are in control?"  "Haven't I proven to you time and again that MY plans are what is best for your life?"  "Why won't you relinquish control"  "Why won't you let go...... and let me take care of you."  "Believe in ME and wait and see if I do not open the floodgates of MY favor and blessings and pour them over your life." "You, Heather, must believe in me!"  "You, Heather, must believe ME!"

HE is wanting me to decide that I can, and will go with the flow of things.  He is wanting me to enjoy HIS day, this very day, that HE HIMSELF, has blessed me with!  HE is telling me that just as I have been set free, free to love, free to give, I am free to believe!

Throughout the current storm in my life, HIS teaching has remained constant, and that is, I must choose to believe that even bad things can be turned around for HIS good!  HE is letting me know that the condemnation that I have been harboring in my heart, is NOT HIS good, and perfect will for my life.  HE is wanting me to know that by accepting that condemnation, I have allowed myself to stay trapped in Satan's evil plans to destroy me.

Now that HE has revealed this to me, I know that I must believe HIM, and trust HIM that HE can, will, and does restore me!  Once again, HE has reminded me that if I truly desire to be free, then I must do what HE asks of me, no matter how it may make me feel.  

Joyce Meyer writes: "The pathway to freedom begins when we face the problem without making excuses for it."

Today I will choose to believe in HIM, and be filled by HIS HOLY SPIRIT, and believe that HE can, will, and does help me.  I will rejoice as it is a new day that HE has blessed me with!  I will believe!

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come." 2 Corinthians 5:17

" Nevertheless, I tell you the truth: it is to your advantage that I go away, for if I do not go away, the Helper will not come to you. But if I go, I will send him to you.  And when he comes, he will convict the world concerning sin and righteousness and judgement:" John 16:7-8

I pray today that you will know that the GOD who loves you, is waiting for you to believe in HIM.  I pray that you will seek HIM, and ask HIM to teach, lead, and guide you throughout your day today.  I pray that HIS favor and blessings will be poured over your life when you choose to believe.  I pray that you will know that HE is there, through all the storms in  your life, and that HE is your deliverer, and HE is waiting to rescue you, all you have to do is believe!

Blessings,
Heather