the first steps

Growing up I became accustomed to being the one to take "the first steps," in apologizing.  I always hated that.  It NEVER seemed fair.  Someone else offended me or hurt my feelings and I'm the one to say, "I'm sorry?"  GOD wanted me to know this very moment that I have been holding onto so offenses and have stayed angry and bitter in my heart towards these offenses.  In choosing to be angry I am missing out on the blessing's GOD is wanting to do in my life, and I'm am letting go of relationships with others in the process.  A constant thought that runs through my mind daily is, "Lord I am so weary of always being the one who does the "right" thing.  Why can't someone think of my feelings for a change, and think about what I have gone or am going through right now?  Where is the compassion for me?  I can be a very "woe" is me person if I am not careful.  GOD wanted me to realize this during our time together this morning.  HE is always going to ask me to do what is "right," even if I am the one who was offended and who "feels"  is owed an apology. 

I know that by forgiving someone who has offended me I will be filled HIS peace and satisfaction in knowing that I have obeyed GOD and gave the "rest" to HIM.

"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.  The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.  There is no commandment greater than these.” Mark 12:30-31

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;  in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight" Proverbs 3:5-6

GOD says that it is not up to me to decide what is best for me.  HE is asking me to trust HIM that HE knows what is best for me.  That by asking me to forgive someone who has offeneded me that HE is growing my faith in HIM. 

"Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.  And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us." Romans 5:3-5

I must realize that GOD has allowed me to make my own choices, however if I want to live a "Happy Life," then I must choose to make the "right" choices in order for me to do so.  I know that when I choose to do something that isn't GOD honoring that I am sinning.  I know that by avoiding and hiding out and waiting to be sought out I am wasting time where GOD is trying to build in me character and through that strengthens my faith in HIM.  When I refuse to take "the first steps," I am refusing to be taught about humility, compassion, grace, love, tenderness,  and forgiveness. 

I myself am sitting here in awe this morning that this is HIS daily teaching today, as I was studying about disciplining my mind and NOT allowing it to wander.  However, while reading, my mind kept wandering to the offenses that I can't seem to get off my mind.  Hmmm, isn't that ironic?!?  So in knowing that GOD wants me to always seek peace and maintain peace in my mind I am going to take "the first steps," once again and apologize for allowing there to be distance between us.  Afterall I have said daily for the past 40 days, Lord create in me a renewed heart, soul, body, and mind.  Lord JESUS lead me daily, and help me live my life according to YOUR word. 

I pray today that if you are stuck feeling offended and feel wronged in any way, that you will turn your eyes to HIM and let HIM lead you to peace.  I'll see you there when you are taking "the first steps."

Blessings,
Heather