just like me

I have been blessed to be a Mama to five children.  I was twenty when my first was born, twenty-two for my second, twenty-six for my third, thirty for my fourth, and thirty-four for my fifth.  Each time I was pregnant with them I thought about who they would be more like, me or their dad?  Each time, I hoped that they would be like their Dad, as D was the calm and level headed one.  I on the other hand was too emotionally charged, even though I didn't even know it.  I have always over indulged in everything, and never knew self-control or discipline when it came to telling myself no.  When I look at our five children most of them are "just like me."  They are the ones who I struggle so much with in teaching them self-control.  Ironic isn't it?!? Me, struggling, with them.  I can only imgaine how much GOD has gone through with me.  Today I am admitting to these out of control, I do what I want when I want, I don't have to listen to you, I am my own BOSS out of control blessings are "just like me." 

This very thought pains me, as I am just now at age thirty-five and just now realizing how much I over indulge in things.  Whether it be food, spending money, watching tv, or talking. I do what I want when I want.  However this past year my health has rapidly declined and I am learning I must put my health above my "wants."  My overall health, thoughts, feelings etc. were causing too much interal strife that I began to suffer from ulcer attacks.  It wasn't until week six of suffering that GOD revealed to me (when I was ready to listen) that I needed to let HIM renew my mindset.  When I allowed HIM to do this for me, that is when I started to feel relief, and no longer suffered from ulcer attacks.  In being an impulsive spender, I strayed from our budget, even though it was only $5.  These days $5 could mean overdrawing our account, and I do NOT want to live with the regret of that!  I must choose to follow the budget, and trust that GOD will meet all of my needs abundantly.  In watching too much t.v. I was causing a lot of pain in my neck from sitting, and so in all of my "brilliance" I decided it would be ok to watch t.v. as long as I was "doing" something "productive."  I know that I must choose to refrain from over indulging in t.v. watching, as when I am watching t.v. my children are watching me.  GOD revealed to me that their "bad" habits are the same as mine.  So I have model quite well I might add, what NOT to do! With my "bad" habit of talking too much, this blog was born.  It is a way for me to speak that is pleasing and honoring to HIM.  It is all for HIS glory!

I know that when I received CHRIST as my SAVIOR I was born again.  Born again to be "just like HIM."

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!"
2 Corinthians 5:17

GOD has blessed me with a spirit of discipline and self-control that I must choose to use.  Otherwise I won't be able to become "just like HIM."  GOD has always blessed me with the ability to align my thoughts to HIS, therefore I am able to make rational decisions based on HIS truth, and not my "feelings."

"For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline."
2 Timothy 1:7

I know that by choosing HIM the old me was washed away and my sins were washed away.  I was blessed with a new life, a life to be "just like HIM."  HIS Holy Spirit now resides in me, and is teaching my daily how to live my life.  HE is teaching me how to be "just like HIM."

In becoming "just like HIM,"  HE has given me the desire to love people and enjoy helping them.  I know that I must choose to follow HIM so that I am able to do what is good and pleasing to HIM.  I must see things through HIS eyes, and the world's eyes.  I must always choose to do what HE wants me to do, and NOT what the world says I should do.

"Spiritual growth is not so much about "doing" as it is about "becoming" – becoming more like Christ. It's a life-long adventure that takes patience, commitment, and intentional focus. It's not what we do along the way that is most important. What really matters is who we are becoming in the process. Ultimately, the Christian life is about building an intimate relationship with Jesus as the Holy Spirit changes us from the inside out, and loving others the way Jesus loves us." Saddleback Church : Pastor Rick Warren

I know that by choosing to let HIM lead me I will not be lead astray.  When I choose to discipline myself, and choose to have self-control, I can then teach those very qualities to my children.  Afterall if they are going to be "just like me, shouldn't I be just like HIM?"

"You may or may not feel like doing the right thing.  You can feel wrong and still do what is right."  This is exactly how I felt during my bible study this morning.  GOD asked me to share my struggles right here on this blog,  HE is taking me on another journey that includes humility, and grace.  HE is doing this to strengthen my faith in HIM.  This is all crucial for my journey towards wholeness. 

Todays Decision and Confession is:  "I will follow GOD's principles, not my emotions therefore, I am a winner in life."

I pray today that you will put all of your trust in HIM and NOT be lead by your emotions.  That if you feel like do what is wrong, turn to HIM and do what is right.  I pray today that if you are struggling that you will allow HIM to humble you and help you follow HIS ways for your life.  I pray this for your journey towards wholeness.

Blessings,
Heather