courage

In the Spring of 2005 I was too terrified to leave my house.  I had three little girls, and GOD was taking me through one of the biggest storms of my life.  D would leave for work every morning, and I would close up our home like Fort Knox.  I rarely answered the door, and I never went anywhere without D.  This went on for months, as I was so driven by fear, of the unknown, my past.  It was irrational, I knew that, but I just couldn't get past that.  GOD however like always had a plan for me to overcome my fears and began to create in me a courageous heart.

The first step of my journey of being courageous was admitting to everything that happened to me growing up.  By admitting to it all, I had to confess to my family, and unlock the door to some of my deepest darkest secrets.   I know now that it was my first step towards freedom.  The second step was attending intense therapy sessions twice a week.  This is where I met one of the most incredibly courageous women I will ever know.  Her name was Sheryl, and she was Heaven sent to me.  She helped me sort through a huge mess that was my life.  She helped me understand why things happened the way they did to me.  She encouraged me every step of the way for 9 months to be courageous.  To overcome my past, so I could be a Wife, and Mama to D and our girls.  The third step was facing my irrational fear of going out alone, whether it was during the day or at night.  I would like to say that it was easy to overcome, however it was very difficult.  Often times I would start out great, but then I would lose my courage, and fall back into my own pit of despair.  Though it took many years for me to overcome my irrational fears, GOD slowly one by one has had me face them. Even recently I admitted to a fear of mine, and a friend has offered to help me overcome that fear.

I know that when I put all my faith, hope, and trust in HIM, HE will take care of me.  HE will never abandon me, and HE will never hurt me.  GOD revealed HIS truth to me once again this morning in HIS daily teachings: "The only way to overcome fear is by living boldly"  I know that when I confront my fear I am saying, "I refuse to let my emotions take control."  I know that by confronting my fear I am saying, "HE is bigger than my fear, HE can, will ,and does take me through it."

I don't have many regrets in my life, however the time I wasted living in fear is one of them.  It took a long time for GOD to build in me a courageous heart.  A heart that is on fire for HIM, who will always share HIS word, HIS truth, no matter what!  A courageous heart who is unashamed to be a CHRIST FOLLOWER and who declares that JESUS CHRIST is my LORD and SAVIOR.  A heart that isn't afraid to go out and witness to the broken and the lost, and letting them know that JESUS is waiting for them.  I know that I have been a work in progress for the past 10 years, and throughout HIS good works HE has been building the courage in me.

"Courage is said to be progress in the presence of fear."

I have learned that even though my "feelings" of fear are strong, I must manage them, or they will manage me.  I know that Satan depends on my fear, to keep me trapped in my own prison.  I know that he plays a recording of the things that used to scare me as a child, in hopes that it will have the same effect on me as an adult.  I know that he will try and use painful reminders of how badly I was treated, in hopes that I will cower, and question my faith in GOD.  I know that Satan in the coward, the liar, and the ultimate deceiver.  I know that GOD can, will, and does give me everything that I need to face my fears.   HE rescued me with just "one touch" something that Satan could NEVER do.  I know the day I chose to be baptized, I declared that JESUS is my SAVIOR. In declaring JESUS as my #1 HIS HOLY SPIRIT now resides in me.

I know that because HIS HOLY SPIRIT resides in me, I have been given the power and the authority to rebuke, and cast out anything of my life, and my families life that is NOT covered under the blood of JESUS CHRIST.  Through my prayers GOD has revealed to me just what that means.  I know that when I feel anxious or fearful of anything, or my children are feeling tormented in anyway, the first thing I do is say, "LORD JESUS remove the spirit of fear, anxiety, and pain from my body, his, her, their, bodies.  Whenever my children are having a disagreement and it's more than just petty things, I pray over them.  What I love most about being a CHRIST FOLLOWER is knowing that HE is with me always, no matter what!

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10

I have given you authority to trample on snakes and scorpions and to overcome all the power of the enemy; nothing will harm you." Luke 10:19

I know that in order to obey HIS commands I must have a healthy fear as HE knows what is best for me.  Just like I as a parent need to instill a healthy fear in my children for me.  It is because I know what is best for them.  I know that certain things will bring harm to them.  I know when they are being rude or disrespectful.  Just as I know what is best for my child, I am HIS child, and HE knows what is best for me.

D and I have raised our girls to be unashamed of their faith.  Our girls are some of the courageous people I know.  No matter what happens to them, they remain strong in faith.  No matter what their peers say to them, they stay strong in their faith.  They are unwavering in their faith.  However, I can't take all the credit.  We belong to an amazing church where our girls are encouraged to live boldly in their faith.  To put wear their Jersey's for JESUS, and to declare that HE is the only way.  Who are encouraged to invite everyone they know to hear HIS good news!  They are encouraged every week to do their part in making JESUS famous.

I have been placed in the most awesome life, of getting to be D's wife, and Mama to our 5 amazing children.  I must choose to be courageous and live boldly every day.  I must choose to seek HIM daily, and ask HIM to teach, lead, and guide me how to live every moment of my life.  I must choose to keep JESUS at the center of my life, so I don't miss a thing!

I will live each day with Faith in HIM, my creator,rescuer, redeemer,healer,comforter,helper,one who loves me and knows me best!  I will NOT waste anymore of my time doing things "my way."  I will choose HIS way every time, as HIS way is the only way.  I know that nothing surprises HIM, therefore I NEVER have to live in fear again.

I pray today that if you are living in fear, you will seek the one who wants to release you from your fears. I pray today that you will seek HIM and allow HIM to unlock the door to your prison.  I pray today that you let HIM begin to create in you a courageous heart.  I pray today that you will live boldly and declare that JESUS is the only way.

Blessings,
Heather