"whispers"

I remember it all like it was just yesterday.  I was on my second day at my new job, when I heard the secretary say, "A plane just crashed into the World Trade Center."  I was 24 years old, and hadn't a clue of what she was talking about.  I didn't even know what the "World Trade Center" was.  I remember calling D and him telling me they were leaving work early that day, and that he would see me at home.  

At 5pm I left work and picked up our two daughters at daycare and began the long commute home.  However, while I was driving I was awestruck at how kind people were being.  You see, I didn't realize what the impact of what had happened earlier that day would be in our nation.  I was young, naive, and hadn't a clue as to the ways of the world.  I was soon to find out.

Six weeks after starting my new job, I quit.  Life as I knew it had gotten too hard.  I know now it was in true "Heather" fashion that I went into "hiding."  I became a stay at home mom once again.  With each day passing my depression becoming deeper and deeper.

In December of 2001 I received a call from my Dad saying that my distant cousin had passed away in his early twenties.  I wasn't close to him, or to my family, however I "felt" as if though I should be there.  I believe now that is when I heard my first "whisper."

I remember the song they played at his funeral, and looking it up online when I got home.  "On Eagles Wings," began to play in my mind daily, which then lead to "Here I am LORD" it was the beginning of the "whispers" in my young life.  

In the Spring of 2002 I found myself daily saying aloud, "why am I still here?"  "Why am I in so much pain?"  "Why does it hurt so bad to breathe?"  D was beside himself with worry, as his wife of 3.5 years was coming apart at the seams.  Two precious little girls, a job that he had a long commute to, scared him.  He didn't know from one day to the next what to expect.  There were days where I wasn't sure I was going to make it.  So I began to plan, and it was during that planning process I heard yet another "whisper," "your girls need you, you were chosen for them."

Three months later D decided it was best to move our little family closer to his work, in hopes that I would "snap" out of whatever I was going through.  I believe it was a "whisper" from GOD that D heard.  Upon arriving in  Hoffman Estates IL our marriage was hanging on by a thread, and D felt it was a good idea for me to start working again.  I remember my first commute to my new job, and I remember seeing the sign to what I "thought" was a quaint little church.  "Willow Creek Community Church" how cute is that?  I began to think, "I bet its a little white church.  One month later I would find out just how "quaint, and cute" it wasn't.

It was then I believe D received his 2nd "whisper" and that was to take our daughters to "Sunday School" so we could be deemed as good parents.  It was then that our story began, a life of trials, tests, and tears.  A story of heartache, births, deaths, and rebirths.  A story that would bring us to where we are today 10 years later.  A life that we could never have imagined for ourselves.  A marriage going into it's 15th year.  A family of 4 who has now grown to a family of 7.  GOD knew, HE knew it all, and it is because of HIS "whisper's" and us listening to HIM that we survived.

Two years ago GOD knew it was time for a change for our family, and took us from the church that we so desperately wanted to call "home."  HE had just moved us further from D's work, but to a home with a yard for our children to play and a neighborhood where we would feel safe to raise our growing family.  

One night while driving home from a friends "home party," we missed our exit and ended up in Morton IL.  We had only briefly driven through it once before and knew that we were close to home, we just needed to find the right road.  It was then that I heard the "whisper," "take this road."  This road was to be Jackson St, which is the street where our church resides.  I remember first seeing the lights outside the church, all lit up in white, and could see the "bright" blue of the building.  Intrigue set in and we couldn't wait to get home and see what this church was all about.  The next day which just so happened to be Sunday we attended our 1st experience at Elevate Church in Morton IL.  It was on that day that a fire started to ignite inside of me, and I knew I was in for a life change once again.

As each month passed I knew that I was being called for something BIG.  However, in true "Heather" fashion I "tried" silencing the promptings I was hearing from HIM.   The more I "tried" the more HE spoke.  Soon I was meeting several people within our church, and began building relationships with so many people.  I was in awe at how many friendships I was forming at our "new" church.  

In the Spring of 2012 I remember our Pastor speaking about the importance of serving,  I was 4 months pregnant with our 5th child and I was feeling so overwhelmed.  I remember going to my Pastor's wife and saying how I felt, and I remember her prayer.  This was to be the 1st of many prayers and words of encouragement and affirmation that I would be receiving through Elevate Church.

Eighty-one days ago, I heard yet another "whisper" from HIM, and began the latest chapter of my journey towards wholeness.  Through several requests, and promptings HIS Daily Teachings was born.  Never would I have imagined that praying to HIM that HE would use me so BIG.  I am in awe every single day when GOD shows me just how BIG HE is using me.  I am honored to be the one chosen to write HIS Daily Teachings,  and I am humbled daily by writing out what I "feel" are some of my most embarrassing, and painful failures of my life.  However, I know that HE takes everything I have done, and works it all together for my good.  

I have learned the importance of discernment when it comes to "hearing" HIS "whispers." Truthfully I didn't know that they were "whispers" until I began my new bible study "The Power of a Whisper" by Bill Hybels, who was my 1st pastor at "Willow Creek" and who I had ever resonated with his teachings.  I have learned that HIS "whispers" aren't always intended to give me comfort, rather confidence to boldly do what HE calls me to do.  I know HE doesn't always offer me a way out of the mess I have created myself, but HE does offer to take me through it.  

" Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way; walk in it.” Isaiah 30:21

"Hearing a whisper from GOD is one of the most extraordinary privileges in all of life." Bill Hybels

"When people hear from Heaven they are rarely ever the same again." Bill Hybels

This past weekend the message at church solidified that in order for me to "hear" GOD I must silence my internal thoughts,   I must be still in my soul.

"He says, “Be still, and know that I am God" Psalm 46:10

I have learned that the "whispers" that GOD says always come with a price tag.  The question I must ask myself is, "Do I trust HIM enough to pay the price?"  The answer for me is "YES!"  Without a doubt, I know and trust that HE knows what is best for me.  I know when  I say "YES" to GOD, HE is there cheering me on!  I have learned that HIS "whispers" are what bring me to my knees and stretch my faith in HIM.   

Bill Hybels heard his first "whisper" in 2nd grade through a poem about Samuel:

"OH! give me Samuels ear, 
An open ear, O Lord, 
Alive and quick to hear,
Each Whisper of Thy Word,
Like him to answer Thy call,
And to obey Thee first of all

"The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace." Romans 8:6

I know that in order to live in peace, I must answer every call to sacrifice that HE makes to me.  I must let HIM lead me, and live the life HE has chosen for me.  No matter what, or how I may "feel" I must obey.  I want to leave this world knowing that I lived fully serving the LORD and I lived faithfully serving the LORD.  I know that when I am ready HE can, will, and does speak to me, therefore I must be still.

I pray today that you will ask HIM to give you Samuel's ear, to hear HIS "whispers."  I pray today that you will find inner peace that can only come from HIM.  I pray today that you will obey the promptings that you receive from HIM.   I pray today that my story will be a living testament for you to know the power of HIS "whispers"

Blessings,
Heather