Very early in my walk with JESUS I learned the importance of not being spoon fed. I didn't look to a Pastor or leader to teach me about JESUS, yet when I would read my bible, I would struggle to understand it. For years I struggled to read HIS word consistently, all the while believing the lie that it wasn't really for me, that I would need someone to teach me.
This was a theme that followed me for the first decade of my walk with JESUS, that is until I found myself in need of a breakthrough. I wanted a mind, body, and soul transformation. I remember where I was when I prayed for that, and I still remember that early morning on May 25,2013 when HE answered my prayer and thus my first round of heart work began, and HIS DAILY TEACHINGS was received.
In my struggle to understand how to apply GOD'S word to my life, I began to share my struggles openly online. The response I got was overwhelmingly pointing me towards writing a blog to share what I was learning. After praying and waiting a few days, HE set things in motion, and HIS DAILY TEACHINGS was born. I remember typing my first post, wondering if it would make any difference at all. Did I really have anything to contribute to the world when it came to sharing my faith. Quite honestly, I was just beginning to learn what my faith was. It's where HE began to create in me HIS FIRM FOUNDATION, it's where HE became the Cornerstone of my faith, and I began to learn HIS PROMISES.
Sixteen months later my faith would be tested to the maximum, and ultimately, I would be leveled, clinging only to HIS PROMISES unsure if I would even survive. Looking back now all those years ago, I see the starting point at which HE met with me to teach, lead, and guide me. Where HE filled me with HIS BLESSED ASSURANCE of WHO HE is, and that I was HIS. TRUTH that I would cling to as the Tsunami of sorrow and grief ripped apart our families' lives. Every relationship would be tested, as the lens of pain was the only thing I could see through, and as time move forward, I would learn just how far back that lens of pain went, and how it skewed my perception of pretty much everything I had ever known or thought to be true.
Still, no matter where my grief took me one thing remained, JESUS was steadfastly faithful to me. HE NEVER left my side, I could cry out to HIM at any moment that I was hurting, and HE would answer, "I know I'M with you." It was through my tears of the deepest sorrow where HE taught me to TRUST HIM, to depend ONLY on HIM. It was in those moments of raw grief that I cried deep into HIS chest, and HE taught me I could lean back into HIS arms, as HE was ALWAYS with me. I could turn my face into HIS chest as HE would wrap me safely in the shadow of HIS MIGHTY WINGS, and if all that weren't enough for me, HE would lead me right to HIS word and show me where HIS PROMISES were for me. That I could apply ALL OF HIS PROMISES as HE so lovingly and patiently taught me that HIS PROMISES are indeed HOLY. HE remained and proved to me over and over again that HE was my ONE TRUE CONSTSANT, that HE was the ONLY LIVING GOD in WHOM I could TRUST. In WHOM I could truly depend on. HE taught me how to not only TRUST in HIM, but also to forgive those who had seemingly failed me. Whether it be in my grief, or even more in my childhood.
Each morning, I was awakened to HIS mercies being made new as HE continued to fill me with HIS BLESSED ASSURANCE that HE was for me, NEVER against me. HE taught me how to TRUST HIM and show me how to "cast my cares upon HIM," and how "Come to ME all who are weary," could be applied to my life. It was in those times of the deepest pain and sorrow that I learned WHO JESUS was and is for me. HE loved me in a deeply personal way that only I could understand. HE taught me how to pray in the SPIRIT, seek HIS wisdom, and how to receive discernment and what to do with it.
These days whenever I hear someone talk about GOD'S word, I'm keen to hear what isn't known, and most of the time it seems as though it's only knowledge of HIS word that seems most important to the flesh, when really, I've learned it's not really about WHAT you know... it's WHO you know. I've learned that knowing GOD'S word isn't enough, that knowing JESUS is everything. It's through your deeply personal relationship with THE MESSIAH, LORD and SAVIOR where you begin to understand the NEED for repentance. It's where the desire to BE LIKE JESUS, LOOK LIKE JESUS, and LOVE LIKE JESUS is cultivated. It's where I'm no longer interested in proving how much I know, rather being an expert witness of WHO I know HE is. For I know full well I would have died so many times in my life had it not been for JESUS. I would have given up after so many people of the CHIRSTIAN FAITH failed to love and support me like JESUS. I know that had HE not taken the time to teach, lead and guide me to know HIS PROMISES are HOLY, how to cling to them as INFALLIABLE TRUTH, and how to apply them to my life I surely would have lost ALL HOPE.
Knowing JESUS has taught me, I have this HOPE as an anchor for my soul, HIS name is JESUS. HE IS my ABBA, my CHAMPION, my DEFENDER, my PROTECTOR, my LORD, my SAVIOR, my EVERYTHING. TRULY I am living proof that THE LORD IS INDEED CLOSE TO THE BROKENHEARTED, Psalm 34:18
May you TRUST the LORD with ALL your heart, may you SEEK HIM, and may you find HIM- HE is waiting for you, to teach, lead, and guide you in a deeply personal way. All you have to do is say, "JESUS please help me." and when you don't understand, well, HE has a plan for that too....
ALL FOR HIS GLORY~
Your Sister in CHRIST JESUS,
Heather
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