One of my favorite artists from a very young age has always been Michael W. Smith. I still remember hearing "I will be here for you" for the very first time. I remember loving the line "I'll shine a light for you" singing it over and over. For days I would sit and wait with my tape in the recorder of my stereo to record my new favorite song. When I was finally able to record it, I played it on repeat. To this day not much has changed for me, I still play songs on repeat and sing them over and over.
Yesterday was another day where HE met me and took me back to the first time, I heard another one of my favorite artists songs, this time was "Draw me Close." The line, "You're all I want, you're all I ever needed, you're all I want, I know you are near" took me back to the night in the spotlight of the auditorium at ISU in Bloomington IL. I was attending my very first Hearts at Home conference. I had gone to the conference alone, not knowing anyone but an online community of support that I was connected to by the conference itself when I registered. I still remember the day D came home telling me about the conference and how he thought I would really enjoy having sometime away to be built up.
The memories of that time in my life, played out in my mind, and in that moment while standing next to D during worship yesterday, I felt HIM speak to me, "Dear Heart, do you remember the spotlight? That was ME, I was with you then, I'M with you now. I'VE always been with you...... ALL the days of your life. I know this storm, the valley that you're trying so hard to be brave to enter, I know, and I have a plan, but it's going to require you to remain, Holy in the Storm."
Holiness has been something HE has so lovingly taken the time to teach, lead, and guide me through the gift of HIS DAILY BREAD. It has been through our time together, meeting in the HOLY QUIET PLACE where HE has met me in the struggle to release my feelings and TRUST HIM that HIS TRUTH is much better for my life. That HIS word is truly better than life. I am learning that HE is taking so much time to prepare me, because in the past, I've always let myself be feelings led, and in turn I've struggled immensely with self-destruction tendencies, to try and soothe myself, console myself, and in turn doing my absolute best to try and combat any more suffering.
Suffering is something I have had to learn to surrender to. To learn HIS TRUTH that in this life I will have troubles. John 16:33 Well, I don't know about you, but TROUBLE always seems to find me. Find my family and wreck us even further. Currently trouble that began over 2 decades ago is beginning to fester once again, only this time we're getting to HIS TRUTH of it, but digging out the root of lies that we're embedded deeply rooted in our lives. Lies that caused chaos, division, confusion, and allowed people pleasing, despair, and defeat to take over.
Well because of HIS gift of community for me to experience, through the ministry where I serve with my church family of my brothers and sisters in CHRIST JESUS, I am learning how to call out, renounce the lies of oppression, and replace the lies with HIS INFALLIABLE TRUTH. Yet, even in knowing how to fight to get free, to BE free, to stay free, I'm learning there's even more to it. That is to remain Holy in the Storm. This means NOT to be like the world is. To NOT respond or react in unrighteous ways. To NOT, gossip, slander, or tear down with my words, rather I am learning over and over again, because HE is giving me chance after chance after chance to do the next right thing in choosing a HOLY RESPONSE. That I am called to choose, to chase HOLINESS to bear HIS fruit of the SPIRIT, good fruit, that speaks life, and if my words are not that, if my feelings are less than, it's not that I'm bad for thinking things, I just need to release them to HIM. I need NOT to make known my displeasure, my distrust, my anger, even if it's righteous. Honestly, I'm learning that I am NOT called to speak all that much, rather I am soaking in HIS DAILY TEACHINGS to pray, to TRUST HIM with all that hurts, and burdens me. To truly cast all my cares on HIM and wait for HIM, as HIS HOLY PROMISE for me is that HE will fight for me, I need only to BE still. 1 Peter 5:7, Exodus 14:14
In knowing this and continuously being given the chance to do the next right thing, I find myself being able to deny my flesh sooner than before. Not that it's easier, I just have learned that HIS ways are so much better than mine. So... I know if HE is taking the time to teach, lead, and guide me how to remain Holy in the Storm, I know it's for my benefit, and I TRUST and know it is indeed HIS best for my life. Even when I don't understand, like it, or agree with it. As it never fails that eventually my spiritual eyes will be opened, and I will then SEE. Which each time I experience healing and freedom as I am being given eyes to SEE, I am grateful and I'm in complete awe of HIS goodness. Whenever HE leads me to HIS word, and I SEE my life in-between the scriptures, I am blown away, I am filled with HIS BLESSED ASSURANCE that HE truly is in the details. That HE is indeed close to the brokenhearted. Psalm 34:18
A Holy Reset that prepared me for a Holy Response, which led to HIS DAILY TEACHINGS of what being Holy in the Storm looks like. Truly HE has remained steadfastly faithful to teach, lead, and guide me through HIS word to become HIS disciple. So that I would be HIS ambassador, HIS living vessel, to look, love, and live like JESUS to become CHRISTLIKE. To let go of the world's view of just being a "good person," rather to pursue HOLINESS, and to know and understand, over and over again in every single moment of my life what that entails, and what it takes. For HIM to meet with me, to strengthen me, comfort me, and renew my mind has led me to the most intense yet gentle heart transformation. For this very reason I will write: ALL FOR HIS GLORY.
Precious Dear Ones,
HE knows the storm you're going through, the valley you're in, or the mountaintop you're on. HE knows what has transpired, what you've endured, and knows exactly how you're feeling about your current situation. HE knows when you're mad at HIM, and when you're struggling to TRUST HIM. HE knows why and when the struggle began. HE isn't mad, or disappointed in you, HE loves you and wants to help you. HE wants you to know, to experience, to live HIS goodness, HIS HOLY PROMISES that are just for you. HE wants to lead you to HIS word, to teach, lead, and guide you. HE is waiting, for you to open your heart to HIM. HE knows every hurt, every scar, and has caught and kept every single of your tears. HE has kept them as they are sacred to HIM. HE has good plans for your life, plans to prosper and NOT to harm you, plans to give you HOPE and FUTURE. There is absolutely NOTHING that can STOP HIM, HE is the LIGHT of the world, HE is the WAYMAKER, PROMISEKEEPER. HE is your ABBA, your CHAMPION, your DEFENDER, your HEALER, HE is the ALMIGHTY GOD, and your name is etched in HIS hands. HE knows you, HE SEES you, and HE loves you deeply. May today be the day you open your bible, or bible app and read Psalm 139 as personal to you. HE is waiting.... will you TRUST HIM?
ALL FOR HIS GLORY
with love, compassion, and understanding,
Your Sister in CHRIST JESUS,
~Heather
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