Thursday, May 28, 2015


Yesterday morning I prayed for opportunities for HIM to be made known in my life.  I prayed that HE would be obvious in everything that I was doing.  I prayed that I would SEE HIM, and NOT focus on all the wrong that has been done unto me.  I prayed that my focus would be set solely on what HE is saying to me, and calling me to do.  I guess you could say that yesterday was the start of being able to Reprogram my thoughts, so that my heart would be made clean, and would be in right standing with HIM.

I have known for quite some time that I was in desperate need of a Reprogram, however I wasn't sure what that meant.  For the past month I have known that there was a battle waged for my mind.  I have known that I haven't always fought that battle the way that HE intended, and that it because mostly I was so completely and utterly heartbroken and wrecked.  

Today however is a new day!  Today is the day that I allow HIM to Reprogram my thoughts, so that my heart will be made right.  Today is the day where I let go of ALL that has happened to me, both in the loss of my son, and the struggles I have faced since losing him.  I am relieved to know that HE does indeed know my heart, and knows whats best for me.  I am relieved to know that my SAVIOR has come once again to rescue me from the fall of this world. 

It has been daunting for me to wake up each and every morning knowing that my son is no longer here.  I think about him all day long, and wonder what he would be like today, and what he would be doing.  Each time we make a new memory as a family, my heart breaks into two.  By the end of most days, my mind is completely spent, and my heart is a complete emotional wreck.   

Daily I have struggled with this new normal that my family is living, and to be honest, I have fought it every single step of the way.  While I may appear to be okay with all that is different, my insides are burning, and screaming from the anguish that I feel.  Daily I have had to watch each of my children cry, as they too are consumed by their own sadness.  This in of itself absolutely breaks my Mama heart. 

Thankfully today HE is HERE and is speaking straight to my heart!  Today HE is letting me know that HIS Daily Teachings is all about what Reprogram means for NOT only me, but for my family as well.  Today HE is taking me on yet another journey of learning to LIVE this life that I have been given well.

HE is wanting me to know that HE knows how much I have struggled to accept, and move forward with all that has happened to our family.  HE is telling me that HE knows that my greatest fear is that we will somehow forget Seth as we settle into our new lives.  HE is wanting me to know that I NEVER need to fear anything, as HE CHOSE me to be Seth's Mama for a reason, and that is because HE knew how deeply I would love and care for Seth, and HE knew that HE would create in me a heart that would be willing and able to share with this world WHO Seth was, and still is.  

HE is telling me that today is the start of a Reprogram that HE has intended for my life, as HE knew I was completely leveled by this massive loss of my precious son.  HE is wanting me to know that this Reprogram isn't so that I will be free of pain, or won't feel the sting of the loss ever again.  HE is wanting me to know that this just means that I will be able to deal with the pain of losing my son, and missing him in a way that doesn't paralyze me every time I am living through another first without him.

HE is wanting me to know that though HE doesn't promise that my life will be easy, it will however be possible.  HE is wanting me to remember that HE is with me always, and HE is the ONE WHO pours ALL the strength that I am needing to get through yet another moment that is so unbearably painful.  

 "I can do all this through him who gives me strength." Philippians 4:13

Before I lost my precious little boy, I used to say things like, "GOD won't give you anymore than I can handle."  I think I truly believed this to be as some sort of safety net, in thinking well I could never handle this or that, so surely HE will NEVER give me something like that.   That is until..... well the worst day of my life happened, and I was leveled, and my heart was shattered into a gillion pieces.  I was so completely and utterly heartbroken and wrecked,and couldn't fathom how in the world HE ever thought I could possibly handle any of this.

That is until it was the revelation that HE does indeed give me more than I can handle, as I am human, flawed, sloooooow, and a sinner, in desperate need of a SAVIOR.  HE is calling me to LIVE my life in such a way that I will know and show other's that I couldn't possibly take a single step without HIM there to lead, teach, and guide me.  I have learned in this painful journey of walking through grief just how much I need HIM and I know that this is because HE has continually poured HIS amazing GRACE, unfailing, unending, and relentless LOVE into me, all the while flooding me with HIS PERFECT PEACE.

"As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins,  in which you used to live when you followed the ways of this world and of the ruler of the kingdom of the air, the spirit who is now at work in those who are disobedient. All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our flesh and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature deserving of wrath." Ephesians 2:1-3

" But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me." 2 Corinthians 12:9

" Before the entire congregation of Israel, Solomon took a position before the Altar, spread his hands out before heaven, and prayed,
God, God of Israel, there is no God like you in the skies above or on the earth below who unswervingly keeps covenant with his servants and relentlessly loves them as they sincerely live in obedience to your way. You kept your word to David my father, your personal word. You did exactly what you promised—every detail. The proof is before us today!" 1 Kings 8:22 The Message Bible

"You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you." Isaiah 26:3
Last night as I was getting ready for bed, I prayed to HIM, and thanked HIM for the day.  I thanked HIM for the opportunities that HE had given to me to speak HIS word, and to be HIS light.  I thanked HIM for HIS wisdom to be able to know that HE was calling me to speak HIS word, therefore speak HIS life to this broken and fallen world.  I thanked HIM and PRAISED HIM for the opportunities that HE is placing in my life to BE HIS LIGHT, to SHARE HIS LOVE in a way that is contagious.

"being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." Philippians 1:6

"My lips will shout for joy when I sing praise to you—  I whom you have delivered." Psalm 71:23

" For God, who said, “Let light shine out of darkness,” made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of God’s glory displayed in the face of Christ." 2 Corinthians 4:6

"My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you." John 15:12

Today is me surrendering and saying: "LORD I'm ready, Reprogram my thoughts LORD so my heart will be made right.  I pray that LORD that YOU will be extremely apparent in my life, that others will look at me and SEE YOUR LIGHT.  I pray that YOU will bless me with more opportunities to speak YOUR words and to LIVE this life that YOU have blessed me with to the fullest.  I pray LORD that today I let go of my past hurts, and hangups, allow YOU to transform and renew my thinking so that I will be in right standing with YOU.  LORD I pray that today I will be YOUR messenger of HOPE, as YOU continue to make me BRAVE and COURAGEOUS to share my story of what YOU have done, are doing, and will do in my life.  Today LORD that I will be YOUR HOPE in this broken and fallen world.  LORD today I give my life to YOU in all that I am.  Today I'm ALL in LORD, send me, make me, mold me, shape me into be the woman that YOU have called me to be.  In JESUS mighty and powerful name! Amen! "

"As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received." Ephesians 4:1

"Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord." Hebrews 12:14

" We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ’s behalf: Be reconciled to God." 2 Corinthians 5:20

My Dear Brothers and Sisters in CHRIST JESUS,   I pray for your broken hearts today.  I pray that the pain that you are feeling, won't even begin to compare to the JOY that is coming in your life.  I pray that HE will be made known in each of your lives, as you continue to seek HIM, and SEE ALL the right that HE is making through ALL of the wrongs that have been done unto you.  I may not know your pain specifically but I do know that HE does.  HE is in it, ALL of it.  I pray today you will have the courage to seek HIM, and trust HIM to allow HIM to Reprogram your thoughts, so that your heart will follow.  I pray today for freedom from the lies of the enemy in CHRISTS JESUS HOLY name.  Today I am claiming that there is POWER in the NAME JESUS to BREAK EVERY SINGLE CHAIN in  your life.  Today I pray that you too will surrender and say; "LORD I'm ALL in.  Transform and renew my thoughts so that my heart will be made clean."

With love, compassion, grace, and understanding,

Your Sister in CHRIST JESUS,

~ Heather 

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