Faithful

"I must stand firm in my faith as I have been chosen to encourage people to give them comfort through HIS hope which is my living testament.  HE is my light, my hope, and the very reason that I am able to live the life I have been given.  I know that through HIM I can endure anything, as HE will never leave me... ~ HE is FAITHFUL!"

This is what I wrote this morning when I finished my spiritual warfare devotional this morning.  How fitting it was that this is what my thoughts would be after spending the entire weekend with our last church family.  Yesterday I had the honor and the privilege to hear Pastor Brian Sanders, Elevate Church speak about why we worship HIM.  What praise does to our faith, when we choose to praise GOD no matter what we may be going through, praying through, HE is there, HE is FAITHFUL!

"Scars and struggles on the way, but with joy our hearts can say, Yes our hearts can say.  Never once did we ever walk alone.  Never once did you leave us on our own.  You are faithful GOD, you are faithful"  Matt Redman "Never Alone"

Yesterday I heard this song for the first time, and it was during that song that I raised both arms as high as I could reach.  As though I was being lifted up to HIM.  It was in that moment that a complete sense of thankfulness, and peace washed over me, as it was then I realized that HIM moving us from our home, leaving our beloved church, and starting over has been really ALL for HIS good, for HIS plan, and for HIS purpose.  

My thankfulness continued this morning as I was singing this song when I woke up.  I kept thinking about what my Pastor said yesterday about praise, and throughout my entire walk with HIM this morning I didn't stop praising HIM.  HIS Daily Teachings today is taking me through 1 John 3:1-24 to let me know that the reason I am able to know that HE is FAITHFUL is because I am a child of GOD.

I have always known in my mind that I am a child of GOD, but I can tell you that my heart never knew I was HIS child, and what that would mean for me. However through these past six months HE  has stripped me down, taken away ministry from my life, taken away the friendships that I once depended on, and made sure that I became solely dependent on HIM.  It has been through this time that HE has revealed HIS faithfulness to me, that HE is always there no matter how hard I may fall.  That no matter what I do or say, NOTHING, not ONE thing could EVER separate me from HIM, or HIM from me.  I am HIS, I am a child of GOD.

In studying HIS word this morning, I was struck by how fitting today's power thought would be to HIS teachings today.  "I have absolute faith, trust, and confidence in GOD!"  Seven months ago I would have been able to say the same thing, however throughout the storm that would come crashing in our lives, I fell flat, and sometimes cried, "why GOD, why did YOU take it all away?"  

I am humbled enough today to say, that I am so incredibly thankful that HE is showing me just how FAITHFUL HE is to me, by loving me so much to ever let me think that I need anyone to help me grow in my relationship with HIM.  HE is wanting me to know that all it took was me seeking HIM, and telling HIM my desire to know HIM more.  HE is telling me that when I do that, as I do almost every single day, HE delights in that, as HE can't wait to reveal more to me.  

Through HIS faithfulness to me, I am realizing that though I may not always understand why, I am able to trust that HE is control, and I don't really need to understand the why of things.  HE is teaching me today that because I am finally BELIEVING and trusting that I am HIS child, I must understand that this is the very reason that the world will hate me.  This is the very reason that people will disagree with me, in speaking HIS truth.  This is the reason that I am a MISFIT as I am choosing to live with genuine FAITH of WHO HE is, and what HE has done, and what HE will continue to do.  HE is preparing my heart today so that I won't be hurt by the world not understanding me, as HE is reminding me once again that I am not of this world. HE is telling me that WHO HE is transforming me to be, will NOT be made fully  known until the day CHRIST JESUS returns.  Therefore, in the meantime, I must live with genuine faith, and seek HIM and ask HIM to teach, lead, and guide me to being WHO HE calls me to be.

"See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him. Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known." 1 John 3:1-2

Through HIS word this morning HE is once again sending me HIS loving reminder that HE is coming back! I know this to be true, as I know that HIS word is true, and HE is FAITHFUL!  HE is telling me I must be ready, I must prepare my heart, soul, and mind for HIS return!  I must continue to tell HIS word, HIS truth to the masses that HE is GOD!  HE is showing me once again through HIS word that HE is powerful, HIS word is living water.  HE is reminding me once again that through this very storm that I have endured this past six months that HE is my light, and HE is my strength!

HE is preparing my heart, soul, and mind today to be ready, that readiness for me means that I must choose to be HOLY, as HE is HOLY.  This means that I must get my heart, soul, body, and mind focused on HIM, and asking HIM to create in me a new heart that loves just as HE loves.  I am learning that the days of doing whatever I want to do, eating whatever I want to eat, reading whatever I want to read, watching whatever I want to watch are over.  

HE is wanting me to understand that over doesn't have to be a negative way of thinking, but rather a positive one as in choosing to let go of doing things "my way" are what will make me right with HIM, and what will make me HOLY just as HE is HOLY.  I know this to be true, as HE has always been FAITHFUL to me in HIS teachings, as they have always been for my own good.  

It has been through the scars and struggles that I have received that HE is building me to be strong in be able to withstand, by standing firm in my faith in HIM that no matter what happens to me in this life, HE is with me.  That HE will never leave me.  Gone is my thinking of "why me GOD?"  I am finally understanding that nothing I will ever go through in my life will be a waste, but will be used for HIS good, as it is ALL apart of HIS plan, and HIS purpose to bring me to HIM, to make me HOLY, just as HE is HOLY.

In my next journey of becoming HOLY as HE is HOLY HE is working on my health.  This morning I began my new bible study by JOYCE MEYER titled Look Great, Feel Great.  Her words reminded me once again that I am HIS child, "You were put on this earth to spread GOD's love.  Nothing could be more valuable than that."  Wow, hearing that I am valuable, I matter, I mean something to HIM, blew me away. As I read even further these words stood out to me: "Only by keeping your spirit, soul, and body in tip-top condition can you truly do GOD's work."

" Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own" 
1 Corinthians 6:19

These were the words I have been needing to hear.  Two weekends ago D and I signed up at a health club and I have been working with a personal trainer, and nutritionist to help me get my health back on track.  HE has been telling me that in order for Mama to be able to take care of everyone, I must take care of Mama first.  This weekend I will be fasting for some tests to be run to show me just where my health stands at this point.  In two short weeks I will begin a detox program, and honestly I cannot wait.  

I am thankful this morning that because HE is FAITHFUL I know that HE has been working hard on my heart about my health.  HE is showing me once again that in seeking HIM to teach, lead, and guide me through this next step of my journey I will be able to endure the struggles, as HE is right there with me, every single step of my journey towards wholeness with HIM.

I pray today that you are struggling, you will know that HE is right there with you.  I pray today that HE will show you that HE is FAITHFUL and that you are never alone.  I pray that you will have the courage to tell yourself and the world no, and say YES to HIM.  I pray that when you do HE will transform and renew your heart, soul, body, and mind to become WHO HE wants you to become.  I pray for you to be filled with HIS peace, and comfort that HE has this all worked out for your own good.

Blessings,
Heather 

the razor's edge

Today's blog has been probably one of the hardest things I have had yet to write about, as it is about the very shameful journey I have "chosen" to walk along the razor's edge.  For months now, HE has really been working on me, and preparing me for the teaching that I would receive this morning.  Though I didn't want to hear it, I know that I need to hear it. 

 Last summer I received the books Fifty Shades of Grey.  I received them with the promise that if I read them that would make my marriage to D stronger, as it would create a desire in me for him that was even greater than I already felt.With apprehension, but pure curiosity I dove straight in, and shamefully just 1.5 days later I not only did I read the first book but completed all three.  Though I didn't understand it at the time, the harm I was doing to my marriage, and to my own self awareness, I know now that all I did was open the door to sinful lusts and desires that come from this world and NOT from HIM.

Not only did I read Fifty Shades of Grey, I continued to seek books just like it, it was if though a fire was lit inside of me, a deep desire and passion to to continue to feel that towards my husband every time I would see him, or even think of him.  This very desire took over my Kindle, and at every chance I got I downloaded yet another book.  The entire time that I did this, I could sense that HE was wanting me to be set free from it, however, the problem that I faced was that D was okay with what I was reading.  In fact he was more than okay, he was encouraging it.  

So then began the questions, "LORD, D wants me to read these things, and he is okay with it.  Surely it's not harming my marriage?"  For months I was in a battle of what I should do, and all the while off and on I would read the books that fulfilled or so I thought my lustful thoughts and desires.  In the times that I wasn't reading, I was seeking approval from other Christian women about what their thoughts were.  Finally I had the talk with one of my soul sisters, and she shared with me her own battles of walking that fine line, the razor's edge of lustful and sinful desires of this world.  This conversation lead to another with another soul-sister who said, "Satan wasn't happy with having just our men addicted to pornography, he wanted the women to be addicted to it as well."  That very thought has stuck with me, and for the past few weeks HE has been working really hard on my heart about what I desire can only come from my husband and NOT some fantasy that Satan has used some other broken lost sinner to write about.  

Last week, after spending nearing an hour downloading yet more books to read, I realized that if anyone were to open my kindle they would see what I read.  Not only that but if you were to click on my recommendations gone would be the Christian books that would normally be there.  In my shame I quickly made sure that I put a password on my kindle, and even that wasn't bad enough I named my password hott.  Its hard for me to admit this, as I read these books because they were hott, however HE is wanting me to know that I was right in saying that they were hott, but NOT in the way I was thinking, rather hott as in if you play with fire then you are going to get burned!

HIS Daily Teachings today is revealing to me that when I put my trust in this world, when I choose to love this world over HIM, I live in darkness.  HE is wanting me to know that as a CHRIST FOLLOWER I am called to live and walk in HIS light, therefore, when I am put to the test through temptation, I must choose to just say NO! to the ways of this world and YES to HIM!  HE is wanting me to realize that in choosing to play with fire I did get burned, and thankfully HE captured my heart before it changed my marriage to D, and my relationship with HIM.

HE is wanting me to know that I won't gain any popularity in sharing HIS teaching today, however I am growing in my knowledge in HIM, of what HIS true plan, and purpose in for my life.  Today I am choosing to stand firm in my faith that whatever HE calls me to do, I will do it, as HE is the one who loves me and knows me best.

HE is wanting me to know today that all it did was give me a false sense of security, as I wasn't living with HIS true confidence that I couldn't expect or anticipate for my marriage to D to grow when I was seeking to fulfill lustful and sinful desires of this world.  Thought I could sense this is what HE has been trying to teach me for months now, I would take a dark day last week in my life that would bring HIS truth to the forefront of my life of my addiction.

HE is wanting me to know that in order to speak HIS truth, and to work for HIM in this area of life, I needed experience.  HE is telling me that HE has allowed me to go through this temptation so that I would have a better understanding of the addiction and how Satan uses the sinful lusts and desires to feed the addiction.  HE is wanting me to know that until I walked the razor's edge myself I couldn't possibly understand or have the amount of compassion I do for the other women who do.  

I am learning that not only am I in the ministry for marriage, but I am also in the ministry for women.  I am called to speak HIS truth into everything that HE calls me to.  I am called to live my life with genuine faith of WHO HE calls me to be!  I am called to be a "misfit" a person who is NOT of this world, and who doesn't conform to what society is telling me is okay.  I don't answer to the teachings of this world, I only answer to HIS teachings!

HE is wanting me to know that in confessing this sin to HIM, HE will then be able to go before HIS FATHER in HEAVEN and speak on my behalf, that though I can into lustful and sinful desires I have repented, and I have chosen to speak HIS truth about the darkness that Satan is saturating our world with. 

"My dear children, I write this to you so that you will not sin. But if anybody does sin, we have an advocate with the Father—Jesus Christ, the Righteous One. He is the atoning sacrifice for our sins, and not only for ours but also for the sins of the whole world." 1 John 2:1-2

HE is wanting me to know that in order for me to grow in my compassion and knowledge about what HIS truth is about sinful and lustful desire of world, I must seek HIM daily to transform and renew my heart, soul, mind and strength by allowing HIM to teach, lead, and guide me through every single step of my journey towards wholeness with HIM.  I must be willing to stay away as far as I can possibly get from the razor's edge so that I will be living HIS truth, HIS plan, and HIS purpose for my life.

"Whoever claims to live in him must live as Jesus did." 1 John 2:6

I am learning that this means I must choose live as JESUS did by loving my brother's and sister's in CHRIST enough to speak HIS truth about the very things that Satan tempts them with.  This means that even though I will be met with opposition about whether or not it is okay to subject ourselves to reading this type of material, one thing remains, and that is it is NOT GOD honoring.  Paint it, color it, speak it, preach how you want to, HIS word is truth, and can NOT be distorted.  HIS truth will always win in the end, and HIS truth is this, no matter what I go through, no matter how difficult, trying, or painful, HE can will, and does always work everything out for HIS good.  Though I may not see it right away, it is always in HIS timing and HIS provision that HE can, will, and does reveal to me HIS truth, and because HE has proven to me time an again that HIS truth is my light, my life, and my salvation, I must choose to place ALL of my hope, trust, and faith in HIM that HE truly does know what is best for me.

HE is wanting me to know that when I choose to live in HIS word and walking in HIS truth, that is when I am walking in HIS light.  That is when the darkness that threatens my very existence is uncovered, and that is when I will overcome the things that Satan is trying his best to keep me trapped with.  I am learning that no matter how far I think I have gone, or how deep I am in a mess, HIS truth is there, HIS light is shining on me, and with HIS light shining on me, I know that I can walk in HIS truth, and it is then that HIS truth will set me free.

"Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” John 8:32

This morning HE is wanting me to know that in order for HIM to use me, I must seek HIM first always!  I must say NO to the evil of this world, and YES to HIM.  I must NOT crave sin, I must say NO to the sinful and lustful desires of this world.   I must NOT boast about the evil lustful desires of this broken and fallen world.  After all JESUS didn't pay the ultimate price for my debt for my sins, so that I would be able to have eternal life, just to stand by and watch me throw it all away, for just a few minutes of hott.   HE is wanting me to know that if I really like it hott, then all I need to do is keep walking the razor's edge, and then I will spend eternity in HELL and that is very hott!

"The world and its desires pass away, but whoever does the will of God lives forever." 1 John 2:17

My final thought today is this:  "I must speak HIS truth about the darkness of seeking lustful and sinful desires of this world.  They are NOT GOD honoring, and they only keep me trapped in the darkness when I am called to walk in HIS light.  They only thing they give me is a false sense of security and hope as it is NOT the reality or the perspective GOD wants me to have for my marriage to D.  Today it is time to forgive myself and to boldly declare that I have decided to follow JESUS and HIS Daily Teachings about whether or not is it acceptable.  Today I am placing ALL of my faith, hope, and trust in HIM and there is NO turning back!"

I pray today that you are walking the razor's edge of this very addiction, that you will know that the freedom that your heart, soul, mind, and strength is craving can only be found in HIM.  I pray today that you will have the courage to say NO to the sinful lustful desires of this world, and YES to HIM.  I pray for HIS favor and blessings to be poured over your life when you choose to walk in HIS light, and choose to live HIS plan and HIS purpose for your life.

humbled and honored to pray for you,
Heather 

dreams.....

Two days ago, I woke up at 4 a.m. singing praises to HIM, and couldn't wait to hear what is was that HE wanted me to know for the day.  I quickly journaled what was on my heart, and prayed through my spiritual warfare book, and then wrote out the day's Power Thought.  So sure of myself, and HIM, I dove straight into HIS word in 2 Peter chapter 1.  I was so sure of myself, that I was really ready for HIS word that morning, and in what I "thought" was my confidence there lying in wait was my enemy.

Within moments of reading and trying desperately to bring pen to paper, the doubts, and thoughts started to creep in.  I could feel the block building, and try as I might, I couldn't block the thoughts from flooding my mind.  Before I knew it I closed my BIBLE completely, and put down my journal and pen.  I sat there for a moment, and asked GOD to please remove the roadblock that was keeping me from HIS word.

Not feeling anything, or hear anything from HIM, and the enemies lies increasing, I waited until 5 a.m. and watched JOYCE MEYER.  She was preaching about the importance of forgiveness.  So naturally in my humanness I was annoyed, as I had already learned how to forgive and the importance of it.  Come on GOD really, give me something here!

Oh my, my, my, when oh when will I ever learn?  Yes, I should have known a HUGE slice of humble pie was just waiting for me.  I ended up going back to bed and sleeping till almost 8 a.m.  I woke up feeling grumpy, but determined that I wouldn't be "feelings" lead, however try as I might, I kept falling flat on my face.  At ever turn of that day I was falling short, and making a HUGE mess out of my relationships.  So much in fact at one point I just stopped talking, as I felt it was safer for me and them that I not open my mouth any longer. I went to bed that night feeling so defeated, and with silent tears, I prayed "LORD please, forgive me, please help me, so much more of you and so much less of me.  Let YOUR will be done."

The next morning, I woke up at the same time, followed the same routine, and once again was determined to dive straight into HIS word.  Once again, I hit the wall.  Once again, JOYCE MEYER was speaking about forgiveness, and living beyond ones self.  Serving other's and being a good Samaritan.  Once again, I fell straight into the enemies trap, and made a complete fool of myself.  

In failing to realize that I was truly missing the mark, I made a HUGE mess out of my day, and I wouldn't realize that till much later on when I would sit down with D and work on our marriage bible study.  Through questions about our marriage came out my anger, of what was happening to me.

It was through our study that I realized the anger and the resentment that I had stored up in my heart, because growing up I didn't have any dreams.  Since I didn't have any dreams or aspirations as a child, I didn't know how to have them as an adult.  

Through D's loving words he was able to get to me to admit that I so desperately wanted to have dreams, and just what those dreams were.  Last night, I know I felt HIS loving touch, and I felt HIS grace fall upon me.  

HIS Daily Teachings this morning has let me know that even though I made a HUGE mess out of things the last two days, HE is pleased with me, as I am willing to admit that set apart from HIM I am truly nothing.  HE is wanting me to know that it is okay that I make mistakes, as that is ALL part of HIS divine purpose and plan for my life.  HE is wanting me to know that even though I may not be where I "think" I should be, I am exactly where I need to be.  HE is wanting me to know that HE has me right where I need to be to receive HIS teachings so that I will be able to live with genuine faith.

Today for the first time in my life, I am sharing my dreams out loud.  It is my dream that HE will use me to reach the masses.  It is my dream that my story, will be a living testament of HIS hope, as true beauty really does come from ashes.  It is my dream to let other people know who are either going through hard times, or have lived through hard times that HE is there.  It is my dream to one day to be in the ministry that speaks HIS truth, HIS word, HIS love, HIS hope, HIS grace, HIS mercy, and HIS forgiveness.  It is my dream that my life is lived with HIS purpose, that it is not wasted by my will.  It is my dream that HE uses me to give hope to this broken and fallen world.  

Those are my dreams, and I can tell you that they do NOT come from me, as I am terrified to speak in front of a group of people.  When I think back to my early years as a baby Christian, I was terrified to pray out loud.  For the past eleven years HE has been preparing me to be a prayer warrior.  I am learning that the very things that I have tried very hard to run away from are the very things HE is taking me towards.

I am thankful that through HIS Daily Teachings that I am able to boldly declare because I have been given HIS true confidence to know that because of WHOSE I am, this is what I am called to do.  I am thankful to know that even though I may not get it all right at this moment, I know that through my seeking HIM, and asking HIM to teach, lead, and guide me through every test and trial of my life, will only make me stronger so that I will be able to stand out in this world, and boldly speak HIS truth, to shout it, and scream it from the mountains that HE is GOD!  That I will be able to speak to the masses of people WHO need to hear HIS truth that HE is GOD, and HE is good all the time.  That our HOPE lies in HIM, and that HE is THE PRINCE OF PEACE!  

In sharing my dreams I pray that today you too will be able to share your dreams.  I pray that you will seek HIM, and allow HIM to mold and shape you so that you too will be able to live out your dreams.  I pray that if you fall short, that you won't lose heart, as you will know that even though you may not be where you ought to be, you sure aren't where you used to be.  I pray that you will be filled with HIS loving hope, grace, and peace as you continue on your journey towards wholeness with HIM.

with much love, prayers, and blessings,
Heather 

stand firm

"My heart will sing no other name, JESUS, JESUS"

This morning I woke up singing that very verse! It was 4:20 a.m. as I quietly made my way downstairs to spend time in HIS word.  Just like every other morning, I picked up my journal and wrote out that verse, and then I wrote this to my HEAVENLY FATHER: "running straight to YOUR arms  this morning.  I need YOU LORD to cleanse me, and make me new.  Fill me with YOUR word today!"

For the longest time, I have relied on books to teach me what GOD's word means for my life.  However, in seeking more of HIM, HE has let me know that it is now time for me, to dig deep into HIS word, to be studying it, and to allow HIM to teach me what HIS word means for my life.

HIS Daily Teachings today is showing me how I must choose to stand firm in making wise decisions for my life.  In fact, HIS teaching was reiterated through today's Power Thought which is: "I have discernment to make wise decisions by putting GOD first in EVERYTHING"  HIS Daily Teachings continued on through my Spiritual Warfare devotional in leading me straight to HIS word which solidified what it means for me to stand firm.

" Jesus replied, “Truly I tell you, if you have faith and do not doubt, not only can you do what was done to the fig tree, but also you can say to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and it will be done. If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer.” Matthew 21:21-22

If that wasn't enough for me, after reading through 1 Peter Chapters 4 and 5, and reading all about, and studying HIS word about how I need to stand firm, I then turned on the t.v. and listened to JOYCE MEYER speak about what it means for us to stand firm.  She went on to preach about how we aren't just to read HIS word, but to study HIS word, to meditate on HIS word, to roll HIS word over and over in our minds, to seek HIS word, so that in our times of trial and suffering we will be able to stand firm.

If ever I wonder whether or NOT I am hearing HIS word right, I am thankful that HE sends me several layers of teachings, through several different resources.  Today however the most comforting to me has been HIS word, as it is written, and today I am being filled with HIS true confidence that I am able to read my FATHER in HEAVENS word, and, not just read it, but study it, and apply it to my life, so that when the enemy comes prowling around I will be able to stand firm.

This morning HE has broken it down for me about what stand firm means for me.  HE is telling me that it means living for HIM!  NOT living for my impulses, and instant gratification that I so foolishly choose on a daily basis.  In case we haven't met, Hi, I'm Heather, and I make very impulsive, and foolish decisions on a daily basis.  If that isn't foolish enough, I also have a very addictive personality.  Meaning, I become easily addicted to the very things that HE is trying to rid me of, and foolishly pick them right back up thinking that I know what is best for me.  

HE is wanting me to know that in order to overcome these strongholds in my life, I must choose to stand firm in HIS truth, HIS word, so that I will be set free.  HE is teaching me that I must choose to practice self control and I must learn to say NO to foolish impulsive decisions in my life, as they are NOT good for me.  HE is filling me with HIS loving reminders this morning, that each of those impulsive decisions haven't done anything for me, but left me "feeling" more broken, and alone.

" The end of all things is near. Therefore be alert and of sober mind so that you may pray." 1 Peter 4:7

HE is wanting me to know that HE doesn't want me "feeling," but rather HE wants me knowing, BELIEVING, living, trusting that HE is THE GOD WHO SAVES!  That HE truly does know what is best for me, therefore I must choose to listen to HIS teachings, so that I will be able to stand firm when temptations come knocking.

One of my biggest temptations that I struggle with daily is food.  Not really food, but beverages, coffee, and tea to be exact.  It would be okay if I drank them plain, but NO not me, I drink them loaded with sugar and flavor. These decisions that I am choosing daily are wreaking all sorts of havoc throughout my body.  As each day passes I keep putting these toxic drinks into my body, promising that I won't over do it, but then another temptation arises, and I find myself becoming weak, and give into the instant gratification in telling myself yes, as I have even adopted this saying, "it's like heaven in a cup."  

This morning HE is showing me how foolish I have become in my thinking, and how loosely I have thrown my words around.  HE is wanting me to know that HE is wanting me to receive true freedom in this area of my life, but in order to do so, I must choose to stand firm.

This is hard for me, because well frankly, I DON'T like being told what to do!  Especially when it comes to things that I like, however since throughout my walk with HIM, and because of my FAITH in HIM, I know that HE is revealing this to me for my own good.

This morning HE is revealing to me that when I choose immediate satisfaction, it means that I am simply just giving in to the temptations of my life, when really HE is asking me trust HIM, that HE can, will and does work out everything for my own good when I choose to deny myself, and seek HIM, and ask HIM to show me what decisions I am to be making.  I am learning that through HIS word, and HIS Daily Teachings that I don't just want an "easy" life, I want/need an EVERLASTING life.

HE is wanting me to know that in choosing to stand firm, that is when HIS glory will be revealed.  HE is telling me that whether I like it or not, all eyes are on me to see if I really am living with genuine faith, and really living my like according to HIS word.  HE is teaching me that this is HIS truth for my life, because I have chosen to deny myself and pick up my cross daily and am seeking HIM to teach, lead, and guide me through every single step of my journey towards wholeness with HIM.

"Then he said to them all: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me." Luke 9:23

In choosing to follow HIM, and in needing MORE of HIM, I know that this is HIS plan, HIS purpose, and HIS will for my life.  I must choose to stand firm and deny myself, and commit to HIM, and allow HIM to teach, lead, and guide me through the tests and trials of my life.  I am realizing more and more everyday through  HIS word, that even my temptations, and strongholds are ALL a part of HIS plan for my life.  I am being filled with HIS true confidence that it is ALL for my own good, and ALL for HIS glory!

HE is wanting me to know that HIS purpose for revealing this to me is to show me that because I have been chosen to be a Shepherd for NOT only my children, but for everyone who reads this blog.  HE is telling me that I must choose to live with genuine faith and stand firm in HIS promises that HE has made for my life. HE is wanting me to know that when I do live my life in that way, I will then be able to live out HIS will for my life which it to bear witness to people, and share HIS glory that is to be revealed in their own lives.

This leaves me with the feeling of, "wow I never realized just by choosing to become addicted to coffee or tea could have such an impact on so many lives."  As funny as that sounds, I know that I am to take it as seriously as HIS word is, as I know, as HE has proven it time and again to me that HIS word is LIVING WATER for my soul.  HIS word cleanses me, renews me, and refines me.  HIS word is TRUTH, and the only truth I will ever need!  Therefore, I must choose to stand firm in my faith that HE  has been building in me, and will continue to build in me so that ALL praise, honor, glory, and power will be HIS!

I pray today that you will be comforted by my sharing my struggles with addicted and impulsive decision making.  I pray today that you will seek HIM and allow HIS truth to rule your life, to change your life, so that you too will receive HIS freedom that is truly HIS plan, HIS purpose, and HIS will for your life.

Blessings,
Heather 

genuine

"Does your life demonstrate submission to Sovereign Lordship?" Pastor Dave Mudd

"You don't have to compromise convictions to be compassionate" Pastor Rick Warren

For quite some time now I have been in HIS word Daily.  I wish I could say consistently, but that is NOT the case.  However, I am becoming more aware of how much I need HIS word, just as much as I need air to breathe.   In needing to breathe this morning, HE woke me up at 4 a.m. and let me know that it was time for me to dig deep into HIS word on my own, and NOT through the promptings of someone elses writings.

HIS Daily Teachings today is letting me know that in order for my writing's to really be personal, and for me to really live with genuine faith, I must be digging deep into HIS word on my own, and allowing HIM to teach, lead, and guide me to what it is that I need to know as I stand right where I am.

While listening to the powerful, in-your-face message yesterday at church I had this thought, "LORD use me right where I am, so that I can get to where YOU are."  In that next moment, our pastor said almost the same exact thing.  HE was letting me know that HE was priming me to hear yesterday's message, one of which would rock me to my core.

As I began to dig deep this morning into HIS word, the thought of  "false teachers" came to my mind.  It was then that I realized that I needed to know what HIS word said for myself, and NOT just someone else's interpretation.  From the prompting of my Pastor yesterday, I sat down this morning with my bible and read and journaled through 1 Peter chapters 1 and 2.  

"Don't preach a Savior, and NOT want a LORD" Pastor Dave Mudd

I am learning that in order to be WHO HE has called me to be, means that I must submit to HIS will, and answer HIS calling for my life.  I must give ALL praise, honor, and glory to HIM as I have been given this new life to live through HIS sacrifice for my sins.  It is through my hope in JESUS CHRIST my SAVIOR, WHO bore and died for my sins, so that I would be reconciled unto HIM and HIS FATHER in HEAVEN, that I am able to boldly declare that ALL of my hope is in HIM, IN CHRIST & CHRIST ALONE!

HE is wanting me to know this morning that when I choose to BELIEVE and have faith in HIM, HE will protect me.  HE is telling me that my inheritance is waiting for me in HEAVEN, and can only be received through my genuine faith in HIM.  HE is wanting me to know that the suffering that I am going through will continue until the day that HE, CHRIST JESUS my SAVIOR comes back for me.  I know that HE is coming back for me as it is written.

"to an inheritance incorruptible and undefiled and that does not fade away, reserved in heaven for you, who are kept by the power of God through faith for salvation ready to be revealed in the last time." 1 Peter 1:4-5

" You have heard Me say to you, ‘I am going away and coming back to you." John 14:28

HE is wanting me to know that my time of suffering was meant to be, that I am called to suffer.  NOT because HE wants me to be in pain, but rather HE wants me to live a life according to HIS will, HIS plan, and HIS purpose.  HE is wanting me to live with genuine faith as a living testament to WHO HE is, WHAT HE has done, and WHAT HE will continue to do.  HE is telling me that while suffering, I must remember that it is ALL for HIS glory, HIS honor, and HIS praise!  Therefore, I must be thankful for my sufferings as I am learning that I am a misfit for this world, as if I am truly living a genuine life I cannot be of this world.

"In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials." 1 Peter 1:6

In reading HIS words this morning I am learning that HE is allowing tests and trials to refine my faith into a genuine faith, so that anyone who hears my testimony will know that I truly have been saved by HIS amazing grace, and that HIS mercy, and love have been showered upon me.  HE is using me to reach the masses through my mistakes, my testimony, and my story.  I must NOT ever feel sorry for myself, but be glad, be humble, be thankful that I have been chosen to live the life I am living, and to now have the freedom to speak HIS truth, HIS words, HIS love, to everyone and anyone that I may come in contact with.  

Yesterday my nine year old daughter made this statement, "seeing isn't believing, it's faith Mama"  How true those words are, and how amazing those words are, as it is through genuine faith that I am given the ability to BELIEVE and trust HIM, that HE is WHO HE says HE is.  I am learning that I don't need to see HIM to know that HE is working in my life.  To feel HIS presence in every step I take in my journey towards wholeness.  I am learning that set apart from HIM, I am truly NOTHING.  In NOT wanting to be nothing I am continuing to seek HIM, and asking HIM to refine, and renew me daily so that I will live with genuine faith.

"Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy" 1 Peter 1:8

This morning my faith in HIM has been renewed just by remembering that my hope, and my JOY is in HIM. HE is the reason that I sing!  HE is the only reason that I am still here, living and breathing in this world.  I know this because HE has proven to me time and again that HIS plan, HIS purpose, HIS timing, and HIS provision is absolutely perfect for my life.

I am thankful to see, and grateful to know how HIS HOLY SPIRIT resides within me.  I am so blessed by HIS gift of HIS ever presence in my life.  I am overwhelmed by how much HE has planned for me, and how HE sets everything up to be revealed to me in HIS timing, all of which have been designed specifically to blow me away by HIS goodness, HIS love, HIS mercy, and HIS grace.

In seeking HIS truth for my life, and being able to write about the things that HE is teaching me, I never want to be just a "little Suzy sunshine" writer.  I want to share the storms and trials of my life, of which HE is using to renew and refine me daily.  I never want to be someone who "thinks" they are living with genuine faith, I want to know that I am living with genuine faith. I want the readers, you, to know that in whatever the circumstances may be in your life that you are NOT alone.  I want you to be comforted by knowing that even though your marriage may be on the rocks, your job isn't going well, your health is declining, your finances are a wreck, you relationships are failing, whatever it is that you are going through, HE is there!  HE is waiting for you to catch up to HIM.  HE is waiting for you to cry out, and come under HIM, and allow HIM to teach, lead, and guide you, so that you too will be able to live with genuine faith.

 It is my prayer for whoever, whomever I come in contact with to see HIM in me, and so I pray each day, "LORD JESUS so much more of YOU, and so much less of me."  I pray today that through my living testament of WHO HE is in my life, that you will be able to see HIM in yours.  I pray that you will receive HIS peace and HIS love, as you bravely take the first step in admitting that set apart from HIM, you are nothing, but with HIM you will be made whole.

Blessings,
Heather 

hit the wall

I woke up at 4.am. this morning, "thinking" I was ready to hear whatever it is that HE is wanting me to know today.  However, about half way into writing out what I "thought" would be HIS Daily Teachings for me, I hit a wall.  Usually when I hit the wall in writing, I just close up shop, and come back to it at a later date.This morning however, is not like those times, and HE is pulling back the curtains, and showing me where even when I "think" I have placed ALL of my faith and trust in HIM, in a certain area of my life, I'm really haven't, which leads to typing my second post for today.

When I hit the wall this morning my heart sank, as I struggled to even put two words together.  In desperation to hear HIM I began to say, "LORD give me faith, help me to overcome my unbelief."  True to HIS word, HE lead me straight to a song that says exactly what I am feeling right in this very moment.

"Give Me Faith" by "Elevation Worship" is speaking volumes to my heart this morning.  As I sit here listening to it, HE is slowly tearing down the wall, that I have hit.  HE is wanting me to know that the wall that I have hit, is my unbelief.  Even after all this time, I still struggle in believing HIM that HE really does have my best interest at heart.  

Yesterday I was given the opportunity to speak HIS truth, and instead I cowered and failed to speak HIS truth when I knew that I was being prompted by HIS HOLY SPIRIT.  So, this morning I have fallen flat on my face, in seeking HIM and HIS will for my life, and have asked HIM to please give me the faith that I need to overcome my unbelief that has caused me to hit the wall.

"I need You to soften my heart, to break me apart. I need You to open my eyes, To see that You're shaping my life"

HE is wanting me to know that it isn't always about me learning something new, but rather solidifying what I already know because HE has been teaching it to me for quite some time now. However, in my humanness I think it's more about the quantity of what I am learning, rather than seeking the quality, HIS truth, of WHO I am, and where I fall short, HE doesn't, and HE can, will, & does open my eyes to HIS will for my life, when I surrender at the wall.

"All I am, I surrender."

HE is wanting me to know that surrender for me means that I must choose to let go.... and seek HIS will, HIS truth for my life. I must loose the mindset that "hey GOD thanks for all your help, but I've got this" mentality.   

"Give me faith to trust what You say That You're good, and Your love is great. I'm broken inside, I give You my life." 

HE is wanting me to know this morning that in order to overcome the wall, I must seek HIS will, HIS truth, and trust HIM completely.  I must know, and be filled with HIS true confidence of WHO I am, because of WHOSE I am.  HE is asking me to never forget just how amazing HIS love and grace are for me.  HE is wanting me to always remember that because I am broken, I need HIM, and all I have to do is surrender my life, give my life to HIM, and HE will meet me at the wall.

"I need You to soften my heart, To break me apart. I need You to pierce through the dark And cleanse every part of me"

This morning HE is letting me know that there are still parts of my heart that need to be softened so that I will be able to overcome the wall, that I hit almost daily.  Therefore, I must seek HIM daily and ask HIM to teach, lead, and guide me through every single moment of my journey towards wholeness with HIM.  HE is wanting me to know that when I am in the darkness, all I need to do is look at the light, HIS light, and HE will meet me right where I am, when I choose to surrender at the wall.

"I may be weak, but Your Spirit's strong in me. My flesh may fail, but My God You never will"

I am learning that though I may be weak, HE isn't and HIS HOLY SPIRIT is strong inside of me. HE is teaching me daily that my flesh will fail when I fail to seek HIS will for my life. I am thankful that my SAVIOR loves me enough to capture my heart, and prove to me time and again that HIS love is unfailing, and unconditional, and is mine.

Once again, I am blown away by HIS goodness and mercy that HE is showering over my life.  I am thankful that HE loves me enough to keep seeking me, and showing me just what HIS will is for my life, and teaching me that I can trust HIM, that HE will do what HE says HE will do.

I pray today that if you have hit the wall you will seek HIM.  I pray that you will have the courage to surrender at the wall.  I pray that my writings will be a blessing to you today to know that you are not alone.  I pray that you will know that this is all to remind each of us of HIS loving, mercy and grace that is there for you and I to claim and receive.

Blessings,
Heather 

a beautiful mind....

For the past month D and I have been doing a bible study together almost every night, that is centering in on strengthening the core of our marriage.  HE has been taking us through some of our toughest moments as husband and wife, and has been showing us where we have both fallen short.  

Last night D and I shared with each other what our desires were for not only our marriage but for our family. One of the things that we agreed upon was that we both wanted to be better role model's for our children.  This to us was top priority after our relationship with GOD, and our marriage. 

When I woke up this morning the thought weighed heavily on my mind, and that was, "LORD JESUS, so much more of YOU, and so much less of me.  Help me to model that to my children.   Help me to lead them through the wilderness of this life, and to shepherd them so that they will make GOD honoring choices for their lives."

This morning through Joyce Meyer's television program HIS word spoke volumes to my heart this morning. When she made this statement this morning, I knew that it was HIM speaking to me.  "In order to model CHRIST for our children, as CHRISTIANS we need to have a beautiful mind."

HE has lead me straight to HIS word, and HIS Daily Teachings today about having a beautiful mind is found in Philippians 4:1-23.  HE is wanting me to know that when I see my children, I must choose to greet them in kindness, and build them up, and NOT tear them down.  This morning HE is exposing HIS truth as to what my life is really like, and that is sometimes, I am so eager to point out their faults in "thinking" that I am being "helpful."  

HE is wanting me to know that in being chosen to be their Mama means that I am to build them up, and encourage them.  HE is wanting me to remember that the world is so busy tearing them down, they need that encouragement from me, even when I don't feel like it. 

HE is reminding me of WHO I am to HIM, and WHO I once was.  HE is telling me that HE knows that I understand that deep rooted pain of feeling as if though I was never enough, and because of that HE doesn't want to see my own children suffer with that very struggle in their lives now, and later on when they are old enough to comprehend.  

HIS Daily reminder to me is this, "when my children are old enough to make decisions for themselves, when the are adults, they will be able to choose whether or not they want me in their lives."  Therefore, I must choose to live with a beautiful mind, and model CHRIST for them.  I must choose to let go of my need to be "right" and to "feel" heard.

HE is wanting me to know that HE doesn't want me hiding behind the excuse of, "well they just need to respect me, after all I deserve the respect!"  HE is wanting me to know that respect is earned, where respect is given.  HE is asking me to take a good look at each of my relationships with my children and ask myself, "am I GOD honoring when I speak to them?  Am I building them up?  Am I modeling CHRIST to them?  Am I being HOLY SPIRIT lead?"

HE is wanting me to know this morning that I have been given the most precious gifts of my children, and even though I wasn't raised by my parents, I can, and will be the best Mama for my children, as I am choosing to be HOLY SPIRIT lead.  Joyce Meyer said this morning, "The HOLY SPIRIT is THE Teacher!  HE IS THE ONLY TEACHER!"  

This morning HE has brought me straight into HIS word as it is written to show me what a beautiful mind looks like for me.  

"Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.  The things which you learned and received and heard and saw in me, these do, and the God of peace will be with you." Philippians 4:8-9

HIS loving reminder this morning is that HE sees and knows the anxiety that is in my heart, about whether or not I am a good enough Mama to my five children.  HE is wanting me to know that I must choose to TRUST HIM, that through my prayers, my cries are heard, and HE is there and HE will help me.  HE is wanting me to know that when I choose to have a beautiful mind towards my children, HE will give me the strength that I am needing to face the opposition that I am facing with each of my children.  

"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7

HE is wanting me to partner with HIM in raising my children, and HE is asking me to agree to work in harmony with HIM, no matter what the circumstances may be in my life.  HE is showing me that so often I get wrapped up in whatever is going on with me, that I fail to see how Satan is attacking my own children.  HE is wanting me to know that the "bad day" that I am having, should have NO BEARING on whether or not I am loving, and kind to my children.  

"I implore Euodia and I implore Syntyche to be of the same mind in the Lord.  And I urge you also, true companion, help these women who labored with me in the gospel, with Clement also, and the rest of my fellow workers, whose names are in the Book of Life." Philippians 4:2-3

"Let your gentleness be known to all men. The Lord is at hand." Philippians 4:5

HE is wanting me to know that I can't expect my children to be loving and kind to others when their lives are in turmoil if I am not modeling CHRIST for them.  YIKES!  As to say, "I can't get mad at them for what they do, as I am the one modeling it for them."  

HE is wanting me to know that the purpose for HIS true confidence that HE is building in me is so that I will be able to choose to be content in whatever the circumstances are for my life.  HE is wanting me to live out my faith, and model it for my children, and all of the world to see.  HE is telling me that I must choose to be HOLY SPIRIT lead, and NOT  "feelings" lead.

"Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content:  I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need." Philippians 4:11-12

Today I am learning that I must seek HIM, and HIS truth, so that I will have a beautiful mind.  I must think about whatever is true, noble, pure, lovely, ALL  of my thoughts must be good, pleasing, and honoring to HIM.  I must keep on guard, and rebuke the LIES that Satan tries to trip me up with.  HE is reminding me that I have the power to rebuke ALL LIES through the BLOOD in the POWER of JESUS CHRIST!

"Behold, I give you the authority to trample on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy, and nothing shall by any means hurt you" Luke 10:19

HE is wanting me to know that the five children that I have been entrusted (me Heather, parent-less childhood, traumatic childhood, anger, grief, and strife stricken, broken sinner) I have been blessed to be able to raise five beautiful and amazing children, and have been given the gift and honor to be called Mama.  HIS loving reminder came to me this morning as this, "Whatever I am doing, they are watching me."  HE is reminding me that since they were babies, they have been watching their Mama and have been soaking it all up, like little sponges.  Therefore, I must choose to model GOD's will for my life, and choose to seek HIM daily, to create in me a beautiful mind.  This means, I must choose to seek HIM, and allow HIM to teach, lead, and guide me, to show me, and reveal to me the areas that I am needing to change in my life.  

HE is wanting me to know that when I choose to do ALL things that HE has planned for my life, HE will be there, waiting to show me in anticipation of what HE is going to do next.  Daily I am blown away by HIS goodness, and HIS mercy.  One of my greatest hearts cry is that my children desire a relationship with HIM, just as I do.  That they too will seek HIM with all of their hearts, so that they will be filled by HIS truth,  HIS word, and HIS love.  I pray that they too will love the LORD their GOD will ALL their heart, soul, mind, and strength.  

I pray that my writings today will encourage you to seek HIM, and ask HIM to create in you a beautiful mind.  I pray that you will seek HIS will for your life, and that HE will pour HIS favor and blessings over your life when you do.  I pray that today you will be a blessing to those who come in contact with you.  I pray today that you will know that no matter what happens, HE is there, HE is with you, and HE will help you.

Blessings,
Heather 

where trust lies....

 "Somewhere between faith and facts is where your trust lies" Pastor Josh Blick, Alpine Chapel

When I first hear my Pastor speak those words this past Sunday, I "thought" I knew what HE was saying to me, however, as you can see it's taken me quite some time to blog once again, and I believe it is because HE was priming me for something so much bigger than I could even imagine.

11 years ago today, D and I suffered our first miscarriage.  I can easily close my eyes today, and remember exactly what happened that day.  To how we felt, what was said, how our two little girls reacted.  I remember driving to the hospital for my ultrasound, and I remember every feeling of emotion I had, but the one thing I don't remember is thinking, "HE is with me."  

HIS Daily Teachings today is showing me that I wasn't able to think that then, because 11 years ago, that HE was NOT where my trust lies.  HE is showing me this morning that 11 years ago I didn't have a clue as to WHO HE was, IS, and will continue to be.  11 years ago is the moment where I suffered complete devastation, and I was rocked to my core.  11 years ago is when HE finally captured my heart, and I was able to say, "LORD, oh how I need YOU!" 

Looking back and thinking about that very moment where I realized that I was at a crossroads, and knew that I had two choices I could make.  One, I knew that I could run towards HIM, with all that I am and all that I have, I could give it all up to HIM.  Two, I knew that I could slam the door, and NEVER look back. As you can see, I chose door #1, and I can honestly say that I have NEVER regretted the choice that I made that day!

HE is wanting me to know that it has been throughout the past 11 years that HE has been priming me for this very moment.  The moment where I would truly be able to know and understand where trust lies in my life. HE is reminding me that though it hasn't been easy, it's been bearable, as I was able to let go..... and let HIM take control of my life.  

I never would have imagined that 11 years later where I would be in my walk with HIM, thankfully HE knew, and I BELIEVE with ALL my  heart, soul, mind, and strength that HE couldn't wait to show me the plans that HE had in store for me!  

" And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength. This is the first commandment." Mark 12:30

Ten months ago when I made the decision that I needed HIM in everything I did, said, or thought, was when HE lit a fire deep within me.  That fire today now has a name, and that is more.  Each morning I wake up and journal and write the same line, "more of you LORD JESUS, and so much less of me."  In my quest for more, HE is telling me what I need to know in order to live out more.

This morning HE is taking me back to this past Sunday where I received HIS teaching through my Pastor. HE is wanting me to know that the answer to more for my life, can be achieved by following the following 7 steps:

1) Virtue ~ I must choose to reflect the character of CHRIST ~ I must choose to be like HIM

"But also for this very reason, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue, to virtue knowledge, to knowledge self-control, to self-control perseverance, to perseverance godliness, to godliness brotherly kindness, and to brotherly kindness love." 2 Peter 1:5-7

2) Knowledge ~ I must choose to seek HIM daily, and ask HIM to shower me with HIS knowledge so that I will know how to live out my day.  So that I will follow HIS will and HIS plans for my life.

"For the Lord gives wisdom; From His mouth come knowledge and understanding" Proverbs 2:6

"When wisdom enters your heart, And knowledge is pleasant to your soul" Proverbs 2:10

"Teach me good judgment and knowledge, For I believe Your commandments." Psalm 119:66

3) Discipline ~ I must choose to seek HIM Daily, so that I will be under HIS protection, so that I will be filled by HIS word, so that I will then be able to go out and make good choices for my life.  I must let go of my incessant "need" to be "feelings lead."  I must choose to take the thoughts that come into my mind captive that are anything less than good, honoring, and pleasing to HIM.

"casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ" 2 Corinthians 10:5

4) Endurance ~  I must say that the only option for me is perseverance.  I must choose to strike the word QUIT from my life.  HE is wanting me to know that there isn't any room for QUIT in HIS plans for my life.

" Blessed is the man who endures temptation; for when he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him." James 1:12

"And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope.  Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us." Romans 5:3-5

"And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart." Galatians 6:9

" For you have need of endurance, so that after you have done the will of God, you may receive the promise" Hebrews 10:36

"But he who endures to the end shall be saved" Matthew 24:13

5) Godliness ~ I must continue to be aware at all times of WHO HE is, WHAT HE has done, and WHAT HE WILL do.  I must know that where trust lies is with HIM.  HE has proven to me time and again how much HE loves me, and has taken me through the hardest moments of my life.  HE is showing me that HE loves me too much to let me stay right where I am, and that HIS only plan for my life is to bring me closer to HIM, and so if that means my suffering, and enduring trials and tribulations then so be it!

6) Affection ~ I must choose to seek HIS love and ask HIM to create in me a heart for people  To allow me to see them through HIS eyes, so that I will then be able to love as HE loves.   I am learning that in choosing to seek HIS love, I am also being given the ability to forgive just as HE forgives.  HE is wanting me to know that I am called to love as HE loves, and when I do that, my faith in HIM grows, and it is then in that moment where I, and everyone around me will know where my trust lies.

7) love ~ I must choose to do HIS will as I know HE loves me.  HE loved me 11 years ago when I miscarried.  HE loved me so much then that HE wouldn't let me go.  HE brought me to my knees so that I would seek HIM, to allow HIM to transform and renew my life.  HE loved me so much that HE has brought immense healing to my broken soul, and has continued to build my spirit within so that I would be able to boldly declare that I am HIS, and HE is mine!

This morning HE is taking me back to where I first met with HIS Daily Promises of HOPE, that have been given to me by my faith in HIM as HE is my SAVIOR!  HE is wanting me to know that by choosing to grow with HIM Daily, is, was, and will continue to be HIS plan for my life. 

 HE is wanting me to know that the more desire that grows more intense with each day passing means that I must choose to be a spiritual contributor, meaning, I must serve others.  HE is wanting me to know and fully understand that this means I am to be a MISFIT in this world, as I am NOT of this world.  

This past week I began homeschooling my 9 year old daughter, and today we will be on day 4 of teaching.  It has brought so much JOY, HONOR, and PEACE to me in knowing that I, Heather, her Mama have been chosen to teach, lead, and guide her with her education.  I am thankful that HE has opened my eyes, heart, soul, and mind to HIS Daily Teachings, so that I am able to share with her what HE has done for my life.  

Before we begin our school day, I hold her hands and I pray out loud for my words to be anointed as they are HIS words.  I pray for knowledge and wisdom for both of us, so that we will know what it is that HE is teaching us that day.  After our prayer time, we do our daily devotional.  It is so good for my soul to hear my daughter pray out loud and seek HIM, and ask HIM to pour HIS favor and blessings over her little life.  How amazing it is to me, that is such a little person, what HUGE faith lies.  I am thankful that HE is showing me once again that in choosing to TRUST HIM with WHO I am called to be, that I can boldly say where my trust lies.

I pray today is the start of your journey in seeking the answer where trust lies for your life.  I pray that you will seek HIS will for your life, as HE is the only one with your best interest at heart.  I pray that you will have the courage to say no to this world, and yes to HIM.  I pray for HIS favor and blessings to be poured over your life when you choose to let go..... and let HIM teach, lead, and guide you through every single step of your journey towards wholeness with HIM.

Blessings,
Heather