Saturday, December 28, 2013


For the past week I have felt myself slipping further and further away from my faith in HIM.  I have allowed things to happen in my life, some of which were colossal mistakes, but NONE of which weren't redeemable. However, it has taken me five days to see the error of my ways.  In this past five days, I have a made a HUGE mess in my life, and this morning, once again, here I am back on my knees again.   At just the right moment this morning, HE has revealed to me through a song by Hillsong United "Like an Avalanche" just exactly the way I am feeling.  "And I find myself here on my knees again Caught up in grace like an avalanche Nothing compares to this love love love Burning in my heart" 

As I began to sing the lyrics to the song, I felt HIM say to me, "Heather, where is your faith?"  "Why don't you trust ME?"  "Why are you so afraid?" 

If I am being completely honest, I have no idea why my faith has been slipping, and I don't truly understand why my faith and trust in HIM is failing.  I don't know why I have once again allowed myself to be fearfully and emotionally lead, rather than just trusting HIM that HE is WHO HE says HE is, and HE will do what HE says HE will do.  Once again, I have allowed my faith in HIM to be capsized by Satan and his demons, and once again I have allowed a HUGE barrier to come between myself and the only ONE who truly does care for me, and know and love me the best.  Once again, I have "tried" to steer the ship, only to have it be capsized, and so now this morning here I am being rescued from the storm, but not without eating a HUGE slice of humble pie.

HIS Daily teachings today is to show me that with HIM, NO storm can over power me.  With HIM teaching, leading, and guiding me, with me actively seeking HIM, when I remain strongly rooted in my faith, it is then that I will not allow my faith to be capsized.

However, since I am human and I make colossal mistakes, daily....... I tend to only lean on HIM when I "think" I should.  In my humanness I forget WHO HE is and I tend to "think" that it is I that "needs" to figure things out, when really all I need to be doing is trust HIM!  In my humanness I forget that sometimes HE is waiting for me to sit down and shut up, and STOP "trying" to fix the things that are broken in my life.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him,and he will make your paths straight" Proverbs 3:5-6

Once again HE is lovingly reminding me that it is through the storms in my life, that HE can, will, and does strengthen and renew my faith in HIM.  HE is wanting me to know that rather than have a "based on the moment" faith, I must trust HIM completely that HIS will is what is best for my life.  HE is wanting me to know that rather than me just falling down in defeat, and forgetting that HE is indeed LORD of my life, I must boldly declare that HE is LORD of my life, and with HIM I will overcome the storms of my life.

"Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance;  perseverance, character; and character, hope.  And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us." Romans 5:3-5

So in all of my 35 years of life, I have yet to meet someone who is so happy that they are suffering, that they are truly thankful in the moment that they are suffering.  I know this is because, it is what keeps me dependent on HIM.  That in my quest for being truly thankful for "growing,strengthening, and renewing is tiring, and just plain hard.  Growing for me is very painful, and often times it takes me double the time that it should, because I tend to avoid pain like the plague.

HE is wanting me to know that instead of dreading HIM growing me, and having my little pity party for one, and allowing my faith to be capsized, I must say to my little problems how BIG my GOD is, not say to GOD how big my problems are.  
This morning HE is revealing to me that once again because I "think" I know what I am doing, I go off the the adventure by myself, saying, "its okay GOD I've got this."   I am pretty sure that is when HE shakes HIS head at me, and says something like, "You foolish woman, WHY oh WHY oh WHY oh WHY don't you trust ME?  Haven't I proven above and beyond that I know what is best for you?  WHY oh WHY do you insist on doing things "your way," and in turn keep you from ME, and my daily teachings for your life.

Okay, pausing for a moment, as that very thought brings tears to my eyes, as I haven't heard from HIM in the past week, and I have been crying, and whining about it non-stop.  In the words of  Dr. Phil, "You can't change what you don't acknowledge."  Today I am learning that until I let go....... and let HIM take over, I will continue to allow my faith to be capsized, and in return my growing process will be even harder.

HE is wanting me to know that I must stay strongly rooted, and planted firmly in my faith.  I must trust HIM with everything.  I must seek HIM daily, and ask HIM to teach, lead, and guide me through every single moment of my journey towards wholeness.

HE is wanting me to know that when I truly trust in HIM, completely, HE can, will, and does calm the storms in my life every single time.   I must meditate on HIS words, and write them on my heart.  I must speak HIS truth about my life, and for my life.  Not only that I must speak HIS truth, I must believe it.  I must choose to live my faith out loud.  I must stop allowing my faith to be capsized, and keep my focus on HIM and WHO HE is, and what HE has done, is doing, and will continue to do in my life.

Today HE is teaching me about my faith through HIS words, just as it has been written.  Today I take great comfort that I am not alone in my foolishness, and my humanness, in allowing myself to be capsized in my faith, and falling hard on my face.

"That day when evening came, he said to his disciples, “Let us go over to the other side.”  Leaving the crowd behind, they took him along, just as he was, in the boat. There were also other boats with him.  A furious squall came up, and the waves broke over the boat, so that it was nearly swamped. Jesus was in the stern, sleeping on a cushion. The disciples woke him and said to him, “Teacher, don’t you care if we drown?” He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, “Quiet! Be still!” Then the wind died down and it was completely calm.  He said to his disciples, “Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?”  They were terrified and asked each other, “Who is this? Even the wind and the waves obey him!” Mark 4:35-41

I pray today that if you are feeling as if though your faith has been capsized, that you will turn to the ONE who knows and loves you best.  I pray that you will surrender all of yourself to HIM, and allow HIM to strengthen and renew your faith in HIM.  I pray for HIS favor and blessings to be poured over your life through your obedience to HIM.  I pray that you will have the courage to stand strong and boldly declare that HE truly is LORD of your life.


Saturday, December 21, 2013

"Life Mender"

Yesterday I took my just turned five year old son Isaac to his preschool screening.  My son is by far the most charismatic of my five children.  During the screening he did very well, and as always he was a complete charmer and won over the hearts of even the most serious no non-sense of teachers.  He truly did light up the room, and once again I was in awe of him, and of WHO GOD has made him to be.

Though I was in awe, my heart was also breaking, as my son struggles socially with other children.  He doesn't understand how to deal with his emotions when he feels wronged.  Though D and I have been working so hard with him, we just can't seem to get him to grasp how he needs to behave.  

HIS Daily Teachings this morning, was a total surprise to me, as HE had me read the story of the "paralyzed man"   His friends,  lowered him through a roof of a house to see JESUS. They do this so that the man will be healed.  The man on the cot received forgiveness of his sins, and was surprised by JESUS grace.  After he was told that his sins had been forgiven, JESUS said, " pick up your mat and go home."  Just like that, the man stood up picked up his mat and went home.   

"And getting into a boat he crossed over and came to his own city.  And behold, some people brought to him a paralytic, lying on a bed. And when Jesus saw their faith, he said to the paralytic, “Take heart, my son; your sins are forgiven.” And behold, some of the scribes said to themselves, “This man is blaspheming.”  But Jesus, knowing their thoughts, said,“Why do you think evil in your hearts?  For which is easier, to say, ‘Your sins are forgiven,’ or to say, ‘Rise and walk’?  But that you may know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins”—he then said to the paralytic—“Rise, pick up your bed and go home.”  And he rose and went home.  When the crowds saw it, they were afraid, and they glorified God, who had given such authority to men" Matthew 9:1-7

HE is wanting me to know today that HE heard, and felt my heart sink yesterday as we learned that Isaac would be put on a waiting list for preschool.  HE knows that I was feeling defeated, and agreed to feeling defeated, as I learned that the teachers felt that my son didn't really raise any concerns with them.  As Isaac's mom it was very disheartening to me to hear this, as I have been fighting for so long to seek guidance in how to train my son up right.  

"I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” John 16:33

The more I read about the "paralyzed man" in the bible, the more HE began to reveal to me that my fear for my son Isaac's future is the same way.  HE is reminding me that if ever I don't see HIM working in my life, all I have to do is look back into my life at the time that my Isaac was born unto our family.  

At the time he was born our family had really been put to the test.  D and I had lost our first home through foreclosure, and we found ourselves having to declare bankruptcy.  Our daughters had been hurt in the most unimaginable way, that changed the course of our families lives forever.  Our oldest daughter M was gravely ill, and as each month of my pregnancy passed, the sicker she became. 

As I entered into my eighth month of pregnancy, we learned that something was very wrong with our son. Not physically wrong with him, but something wrong with the pregnancy.   As I had been so focused on caring for our then nine year old daughter, I had completely forgotten that I was pregnant with my fourth child.  Looking back, I am so thankful that HE kept me oblivious to the fact that things were not right with my pregnancy.  

One morning in November of 2008 I headed to my o.b.'s office for a routine checkup.  I remember the doctor asking me when was the last time I felt him kick, and it was then that I could only remember him kicking once in my entire pregnancy.  Upon hearing the news my o.b. ordered a NST (non stress test) that would be the first of many.  Well I can honestly say I failed that test with flying colors.  Next I was referred to Maternal Fetal specialists.  4D ultrasounds became our "normal," as did thrice weekly NST, of which I failed every single one of them.  I would then head over the hospital where I would be monitored.  

If that wasn't enough, I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes.  It was then that the reality of my situation began to sink in.  Before I knew it I was checking my blood sugars 8 times a day, and giving myself two injections of insulin.  My fingers were sore, and each time I had to inject myself, I was in shock that this was my reality. 

Finally in our 37th week of pregnancy the two sets of doctors decided that I needed to have a amniocentesis to determine whether or not my son was ready to be born.  That test would later conclude that in deed he was NOT ready to be born yet.  My heart sank, as one doctor was concerned that he wouldn't make it, and the other said, we needed to give him more time. 

I wish I could say that I gave it all up to GOD, but fear began to seep in, and doubt began to take up residence in my heart.  It was in my 37th week that we finally learned what was "wrong."  My son Isaac was all tangled up in his cord.  Not only around his neck, but his entire body.  Hence the reason I only felt him move once.  

Before I even knew I was pregnant with Isaac, we were driving to church one morning, and I said to D, "if we were to ever have a son, what would you name him?"  D looked right at me and said, "I would name him Isaac."  

HE reminded me of that conversation that D and I had years ago, and today reminded me that the meaning of our son's name is laughter.  Oh and the laughter and joy that our son brings to our family!   He is such a joy to have in our family.  Everywhere he goes he brings so much light to the room!  He captures the hearts of everyone and he truly had the biggest heart for his SAVIOR JESUS.

" For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

Our son Isaac, is our families constant source of laughter, and he truly is one of our prayer warriors in our home.  Every night at dinner when it's time to say that blessing, he volunteers, every single time!  Not only does he volunteer he insists!

"Sarah said, “God has brought me laughter, and everyone who hears about this will laugh with me.” Genesis 21:6

Once again I am in shock and awe of what HE is teaching me.  HE is wanting me to know that it is during the times where I find myself wondering whether or not to join the fight, or take a flight, HE is asking me to remember that nothing can harm me, and nothing is impossible with HIM, or for HIM.  HE is reminding me that in the greatest storms of my life, is where HE will find me.  In the happiest moments of my life, is where HE will find me.  In the saddest, loneliest moments of my life, is where HE will find me.  In the times where I feel defeated, that is where HE will find me.

"If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved." Romans 10:9-10

HE is wanting me to know that with HIM, I will NEVER be defeated, as HE is always fighting for me.  HE is wanting me to know that HE is fighting for me, even when I don't see HIM!  HE is wanting me to know that in my times of feeling doubt, I must keep my eyes focused on HIM.  I must choose to BELIEVE HIM, that HE truly is the GOD, my GOD who saves!  

HE is wanting me to boldly declare that through HIM all of my sins have been washed away.  I know that is true, because I know that I have been forgiven by HIM.  

"Our misconceptions are changed when we meet the "Real" JESUS for ourselves" Tim Roehl "Surprised by Grace"

HE is wanting me to remember that through HIS gift of my son, my life is never boring.  HE is wanting me to know that it has been HIS intention all along to keep my life full of fun, laughter, and smiles.  I also say that I didn't truly become a challenged mom until I had my first son.  Anyone who asks me I will tell them that my son challenges me that I could have never imagined.  HIS good news today is that even though I couldn't HE did!  

Whenever I think of  my son Isaac, I think to myself, "GOD you truly do have a sense of humor!"

HE is wanting me to share HIS good news that HE is not dark, brooding, or stoic.  Rather HE is the light in my darkest days.  When I seek HIM, HE smiles at me, and when I speak HIS truth, I know that HE delights in me!  HE is telling me that in my weakness I must know that HE is NOT a spineless weak CHRIST!  HE is the ALMIGHTY!  HE is the GREAT ONE!  HE is the HEALER, HE IS THE PROTECTOR, HE IS THE CREATOR, HE is the one who knows and loves me best, not only me, but everyone!  

"When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” John 8:12

"Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” John 8:32

"My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." Psalm 73:26

HE is showing me that HE is the one who has blessed me with so much laughter, and brought me so much JOY.  I am learning that laughter is in our home because of HIM, because of HIS gift of our son Isaac who is a HUGE part of our family.  

HE is telling me that only HE knows the real needs of my life.  Therefore, I must not let myself feel defeated, I must continue to press on.  I must choose to pick up my cross daily, and follow HIM! I must choose JESUS, and ask HIM to teach, lead, and guide me through every single step of my journey.  My journey towards wholeness.  HE is wanting me to know that in asking HIM to do those things, HE will heal me emotionally, mentally, physically, spiritually, and relationally.

"Then he said to them all: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me." Luke 9:23

"JESUS has the power to bring healing to every area of our lives." Tim Roehl "Surprised by Grace"

I am learning that in seeking HIM, HE is making me the "Better Me."  I know that this is because of WHO HE is, and what HE has done for me, is doing for me, and will continue to do for me!  HE is wanting me to remember that if even I am feeling down, all I have to do is HE sent HIS loving reminder that "laughter" truly is the best medicine!

I pray today that you will be able to know the JESUS as HE has been written in the bible.  I pray that HE will capture your heart, soul, and mind, and that you will have the courage to refine and renew your heart to be more like HIS.  I pray that you will know that in the times where you may "feel" defeated, that you will know that HE is there, fighting for you.  HE is just waiting for you to see that HE truly is where where you stand!  HE is wanting you to be able to share HIS good news, that indeed HE is your "life mender."


Friday, December 20, 2013

Choose JESUS

Last Sunday, this was the message that HE was telling me.  True to the placement of themes in my life, this is what HE has been working on my heart this entire week.  Even yesterday, when I "tried" to type out the blog, HE made it so that I couldn't.  My computer conveniently quit working, and I wasn't able to even really get to the blog.  In frustration, I gave up and went back to bed.

I later read the GQ article about Phil Robertson, if you don't know who I am talking about, HE is the Patriarch of Duck Dynasty.  Phil and  his family are followers of JESUS, who have been blessed by HIM to have a t.v. that shows their faith.  When GQ went to interview Phil, I believe that just as when any person says that they are a CHRISTIAN, people take that as their cue to try and trip them up.  Actually Satan seeks those statements as opportunity's to "try" and deceive us into believing that GOD is really against us, and NOT for us.  However, HE is wanting me to know that in choosing JESUS every single day as my LORD, and SAVIOR, no matter how much Satan and his demons "try" to persuade me, JESUS wins every time.

Anyways, back to the article, Phil made one statement that was pretty crass, however the more I thought about it, I could hear HIM say to me, "can you imagine if your life were under a microscope?  If it were what would other's witness about you, Heather a self professed committed CHRIST follower?  You say you choose JESUS, ME, every day, but if someone were to put your words and actions to print every day what would people see?"  

This to me was a very sobering thought.  I began to think about the days events before, and how I was less than GOD honoring in my speech a few times throughout my day.  Not only in my speech, but in my actions as well.  I cringe at the thought of someone seeing me that way.  

HIS Daily Teachings today is to remind me that someone does see the way that I choose to act daily, and that someone is HIM.  HE is wanting me to know that the reason HE died for my sins, is so that I would have HIS grace.  In choosing JESUS daily, I am choosing HIS grace daily.  HE knows that I will NEVER be perfect, as HE is the only one who has ever been, is, and ever will be perfect.  HE is wanting me to know that no matter what I say or do, or how I act, in the end I will always fall short of the GLORY of GOD, and the most comforting thing about that statement is that is the reason I still need HIM.

"for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God" Romans 3:23

HE is wanting me to declare that I will choose to speak HIS truth daily!  HE is wanting me to keep to my promise to HIM that I will do my part daily in bringing HIS Kingdom of HEAVEN here to Earth!  HE is wanting me to declare that HIS grace is all sufficient for me!  HE is wanting me to choose follow HIM, and not strive to be popular in the worlds eyes.  HE is wanting me to keep to my promise to be a world-changer, and NOT a world pleaser.  HE is wanting me to declare that I will ALWAYS speak HIS truth to my children! HE is asking that I NOT EVER give into what the world is telling me is correct, by censoring my faith to my children!  HE is asking for my commitment to teaching them to know and understand that they are NOT being hateful, uncaring, unkind, or unloving, just because they are NOT choosing to believe what the world is telling them!  Today these are the choices that I will choose Daily.  Above all else, I will always choose JESUS!

"Your kingdom come. Your will be done On earth as it is in heaven." Matthew 6:10

"And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” 2 Corinthians 12:9

"And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God." Romans 12:2

"Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it." Proverbs 22:6

"And if it seems evil to you to serve the Lord, choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.” Joshua 24:15

HE is wanting me to know that in order to be a true CHRIST follower I must be consistent, in choosing to make consecutive good choices to follow JESUS daily!  I must choose JESUS daily!  HE is wanting me to understand that HE knows that there will be times that will mess up, however HE will supply me in abundance with HIS grace, and HIS love, and HIS forgiveness, and HIS mercy.  All I have to do is ask HIM!  HE is wanting me to know that when I do mess up, I must not let that derail me from HIS plans, and  HIS purpose for my life.  Therefore, I must choose to pick up my cross daily and follow HIM all the days of my life!  I must choose to serve HIM, I must choose JESUS, as HE is LORD of my life!

"And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:19

Once again, HE is reminding me that one of the ways I choose HIM, is by choosing to forgive, and seeking forgiveness from others.  HE is wanting me to know that I must do those two things so that HE will then be able to heal my broken relationships with others.

 “Judge not, and you shall not be judged. Condemn not, and you shall not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. Give, and it will be given to you: good measure, pressed down, shaken together, and running over will be put into your bosom. For with the same measure that you use, it will be measured back to you.” Luke 6:37-38 

"And forgive us our sins,For we also forgive everyone who is indebted to us.
And do not lead us into temptation,But deliver us from the evil one" Luke 11:4

HE is wanting me to know that when I choose HIM, HE will take care of ALL the details.  HE is telling me that all I have to do is ask HIM, and HE will take care of me, I must choose to BELIEVE, I must choose JESUS!  HE is reminding me that in choosing HIM, HE can, will, and always does work everything out for my own good!

"And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28

HE is showing me that in choosing to follow HIM daily, and seeking HIM daily, this means I must choose to be dedicated to praying to HIM, about everything!  HE is telling me that I must choose to seek HIS JOY in every situation, I am in, no matter how I may feel!  Once again, HE is telling me that I must choose NOT to worry, rather I must choose to trust HIM, that HE is WHO HE says HE is, and HE will do what HE says HE will do!  I must choose JESUS DAILY!!!

"do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God." Philippians 4:6

"Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice." Philippians 4:4

HE is asking me that even though I may not understand the how and why of things, I must choose to trust HIM, that HIS plans and HIS purpose for my life are perfect, therefore I must choose to be content in the current situation I am in.  Once again, HE is asking me to be patient and wait, as I HE has proven time and again that HIS timing, and HIS provision are perfect for me!

"Wait for the LORD; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the LORD" Psalm 27:14

HE is teaching me that in choosing to be content, means that until I hear from HIM, I must remain unwavering in my faith!  HE is wanting me to know that when HE calls on me, HE then expects me to respond in a way that is good, pleasing, and honoring to HIM!  HE is wanting me to declare that above all things, I choose HIM.  Today HE is asking me to declare that I choose JESUS, always!

" Let love be genuineAbhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit,serve the Lord. Rejoice in hopebe patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality. Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them.  Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.  Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight.  Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all.  If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.  Belovednever avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.”  To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.”  Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good." Romans 12:9-21

"Every experience GOD gives us, every person HE puts in our lives, is the perfect preparation for the future that only HE can see"  Corrie Ten Boom

I pray today that today is the day you will choose JESUS, as HE is the LORD and SAVIOR of your life.  HE is waiting, HE is wanting, and desiring a close and personal relationship with you.  I pray that you will seek HIS will for your life, and that when you do seek HIM, HE will pour HIS favors and blessings over your life.  I pray for GOD's best plans for your life today, so that you may be able to do your part in bringing HIS Kingdom of HEAVEN here to Earth.


Wednesday, December 18, 2013

seeking HIM

If you don't already know this about me, I mess up A LOT, and I need HIM constantly.  I am forever seeking HIM, when I make mistakes.  This happens mostly because of my selfish, and  foolish pride. YIKES! Did I really just write that?  Okay so by now you know that I strongly dislike eating "humble pie," however HIS Daily Teachings today was actually in two parts, yesterday and today's readings. Since I like to do things "my way" which equates to the "hard way,"  HE has been working on me for the past two days about seeking HIM, and letting go of my selfish, and foolish ways.

Not following me, well let me explain it a little more with examples.  I, Heather am a control freak when it comes to D, and my children.  I like things done my way, the way I see them being done, and if you don't' do it my way, and you make a mistake, I will be sure to let you know that it could have all been avoided if you would have just listened to me. (As if I have so much wisdom in me)   In more ways than I can count I have hurt the people I love the most, all because I "think" "my way" is the "best" way.  

HIS Daily Teachings today was to remind me that the only thing I need to be doing is seeking HIM.  HE is wanting me to know that when I seek HIM in everything I think, say and do, I will do what is good, pleasing and honoring to HIM.  HE is wanting me to know that instead of arguing with someone when I "think" I am right, I must let go, and praise, them, and HIM.  I must seek HIM and let HIM show me how to navigate in the conversation I am having.  HE is telling me that in seeking, HIM, I am in turn seeking peace.  I am learning that when I seek peace, HIS peace, it brings much more positive outcome, and I will have the right attitude to PRAISE HIM.  I know that this is all possible when I am choosing daily to be seeking HIM, in everything I think say and do.  This is why I BELIEVE HE keeps teaching me that I must seek HIM and ask HIM to teach, lead, and guide me through every single moment of my journey with HIM.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6

The other day while driving I was praising HIM, and I was trying to think of a song that reminded me about seeking HIM, and of course, when I went to sing it, my mind was HUGE blank.  The more I tried to remember the lyrics, the more so far from GOD as you can get a song would come to my mind.  It wasn't until this morning that I was able to remember the lyrics to the song, and when I looked it up it made me smile, as the song is titled "The More I Seek YOU" by Kari Jobe

"The more I seek you,
The more I find you
The more I find you, the more I love you

I want to sit at your feet Drink from the cup in your hand.

Lay back against you and breath, feel your heart beat
This love is so deep, its more than I can stand
I melt in your peace, its overwhelming

Singing this song today to my SAVIOR has brought tears to my eyes, as I have once again fallen so short of what HE is wanting me to do.  Yesterday while talking to my best friend, I told her that my bible study was about choosing JESUS, and as we were talking, I knew HE was saying to me, in everything choose ME, seek ME, and I will help you."

Even though I knew HE was talking to me, I chose to ignore HIM, and chose selfishly, and foolishly to do what I wanted to do.  Even when I had just written a blog the day before about doing what HE calls me to do not matter how or what I may feel about a situation.  

HE is wanting me to know that with everything that I am am have, I must choose to be intentional in seeking HIM, and allowing HIS will to be what is for my life.  I must align my thoughts to HIS.  I must let HIM teach, lead, and guide me through every single moment of my journey with HIM.  A journey where HE is renewing and refining me daily, so that I will be WHO HE has called me to be, and I will bring praise, honor, glory, and power to HIM with everything I am and have.

"With everything, with everything, We will shout for Your glory. With everything, with everything, We will shout forth Your praise. " With Everything by Hillsong"

"I will proclaim the name of the Lord. Oh, praise the greatness of our God!" 
Deuteronomy 32:3

"For to us a child is born,to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. Of the greatness of his government and peace there will be no end. He will reign on David’s throne and over his Kingdom, establishing and upholding it with justice and righteousness from that time on and forever.The zeal of the Lord Almighty will accomplish this." Isaiah 9:6-7

LORD JESUS, give me the courage to declare that YOU are WONDERFUL, and YOU are my COUNSELOR.  YOU are the ONE ALMIGHTY GOD.  YOU are my EVERLASTING FATHER.  YOU are my PRINCE OF PEACE.  FATHER, teach me and show me how to do my part in bringing YOUR Kingdom of HEAVEN here to Earth.  LORD thank you for loving me, saving, me, hearing me, helping me, forgiving me of my sins.  Thank YOU for YOUR sacrifice.  LORD I pray that when it comes to me sacrificing my "precious" time for YOU and what YOU have called me to do that I will remember YOUR loving "whispers" that are gentle reminders of WHO I am called to be because of WHOSE I am.  I pray that YOU will care for me, as I need you every hour of every minute, of every single second of every day.  I will seek YOU LORD, and I will find YOU, as YOU always find me right where I am. 

I pray today for you to have the courage to choose to keep seeking HIM.  I pray that HE will reveal HIMSELF to you, and let you know that HIS plans are the best for your life.  I pray that in everything that you think, say, and do you will think of HIM.  I pray for HIS favor and blessings to be poured over your life when  you declare that HE truly is LORD of your life.


Monday, December 16, 2013


“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven.  Many will say to me on that day,‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name and in your name drive out demons and in your name perform many miracles?’  Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!" Matthew 7:21-23

I must have read those verses at least ten times in the last year, and never did they hit me like a MACK truck as they did at church this weekend.  D and I took our five blessings to a new church that came highly recommended by our church family at ELEVATE.  We were welcomed right away by the Pastor, and were made to feel at home right away.  I silently said a "breath prayer" "LORD please if this is home, let it "feel" like home to us." 

When our Pastor began to speak, he started talking about Christmas Carols, and yesterday's was "Away in a Manger."  The worship band sang an awesome version of the carol, and when they were done, is when I got an up close and personal look at JESUS.  Even our Pastor warned us that this very message was going to be totally in our faces.  I'm glad I didn't know that before hand, otherwise I might have "tried" to hide.

JESUS is NOT  a part-time LORD, HE does NOT want part-time followers."  Whew, hearing those words, I thought, "Surely YOU can't be talking to me LORD?"  I began to think, I get up almost every morning at the crack of dawn, and sink deep into HIS word.  I journal, and read, and then most days type my blog.  However, HE was wanting me to know that those are all good things, however HE is more interested in seeing me walk the walk, than HE is seeing my type the talk!

YIKES!  I spent the day pondering what HE was telling me yesterday, and one thing that really stood out for me was, "LORD, I want to know all of YOU.  I don't want to be in the dark about any part of you.  Help me to surrender."  The more I thought about it, the more I thought about the area's in my life where I didn't really know HIM.

When the Pastor read what JESUS said in Matthew 7:21-23 he said it in a way as, "Hey you don't make JESUS your LORD, HE IS your LORD, you just come underneath HIS authority when you accept HIS perfect gift.  HE said, JESUS isn't just the reason for the season.  The reason is GOD sent HIS only SON, JESUS to be born as a little baby.  This is the very reason we sing "The little LORD JESUS asleep on the hay."  Away in a Manger

" For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." John 3:16

However, HE is teaching me that HE is NOT little, HE is MIGHTY, and ALL POWERFUL, ALL KNOWING.    HE  is wanting me to remember that HE died for us, to pay the ultimate sacrifice, it cost HIM everything!  He went onto to say that not only did it cost JESUS everything, it cost us NOTHING, it was a debt that HE paid, that I, Heather, a sinner cannot EVER repay.  However, when I received HIS perfect gift of Salvation, it cost me everything, meaning when I said YES to HIM, I said NO to me, therefore I must die unto my selfish fleshly ways, and seek HIM in everything I do, and TRUST HIM completely with unwavering FAITH.

Just typing out all these thoughts that have been going through my mind, make me cringe as I know I have most certainly NOT died unto myself in every area.  I know that I still worry, get anxious, don't watch my tongue, and allow my anger to spill out into my actions.  As I have stated before, I am a HOTT mess.

HIS Daily Teachings today is to remind me that where I fall short, HE is there.  Ready to pick me up right where I am, and will wait for me to say, "I need YOU!"  I received HIS loving reminder through a song we sang at church yesterday.  While we were singing "Give Me Faith" by Elevation Worship, I threw my hands into the air, and surrendered once again, I asked HIM to soften my heart and break me apart as I needed HIM.  I am learning that even when I "think" I have surrendered to HIM completely, HE will continue to seek me, and show me the areas that I have fallen short.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6

HE is wanting me to know that in choosing to declare that HE is LORD, I must surrender completely because HE is LORD!  

"  I have revealed and saved and proclaimed— I, and not some foreign god among you. You are my witnesses,” declares the Lord, “that I am God." Isaiah 43:12

I am learning that I, Heather, am HIS, and HE is mine.  HE is the perfect gift that I have been needing.  HE is there waiting for me to fully surrender so that I will know HIM completely.  I must surrender as HE is LORD.

"Therefore, with minds that are alert and fully sober, set your hope on the grace to be brought to you when Jesus Christ is revealed at his coming." 1 Peter 1:13

HE is wanting me to know that I must practice self control when it comes to my fleshly desires.  HE is telling me that I must not call HIM, LORD, LORD, and then just do whatever it is I want to do.  I must choose to die  unto myself, and follow HIM, and ask HIM to teach, lead, and guide me every single moment of my life.

HE is reminding me once again that the reason HE paid the ultimate price was so that I would one day be able to join HIM and HIS FATHER in HEAVEN.  In my humanness I tend to forget just exactly why I am here.  I am learning that it's not about me having all the nice clothes I want, or eating whatever makes me happy.  It's not about me speaking my mind, just because I "think" I am entitled to speak it!  It's not about be right, or the winner, as in sinning there is no winning.  It's not about being so tough so that no one person or thing could ever hurt me again.  It's not about creating a heart of steel that has no room for compassion for the lost and the broken.  

HE is teaching me that it is all about HIS love, HIS grace, HIS mercy, HIS discernment, HIS wisdom, HIS forgiveness.  Those are the things that I must embody, as that is what HE is all about.  That is what truly makes HIM LORD.  This is how I know that HE truly is LORD.

HE is wanting me to know that where I am impatient in waiting, HE will give me the patience!  All I need to do is ask.  In asking, I am learning that I must follow through, after all HE is telling me that HE is more interested in seeing me walk, than hearing me talk.  WOW!!! How about another slice of HUMBLE PIE!

HE is wanting me to know that while I am doing what HE calls me to do in writing this blog, I am not following through with everything that I am writing about.  HE is wanting me to know that because I am connected to HIM, HE knows that I am aware of the things that I need to surrender, it's just all up to me to give up my selfish ways.  

This for me is hard to swallow, as I've never consider myself to be a selfish person, however in thinking in the way HE puts it, I can see that I, Heather, am a heartless, selfish sinner.  I am thankful that HE paid the price for me, as I could never repay HIM.
I am learning I can however, seek HIM, walk with HIM, allow HIM to teach me, and spend each and everyone of my days that I have been given, striving to be more like HIM every single day.

LORD JESUS, create in me a desire to be like you in all of my ways.  Help me to see where I have fallen short, and send your "whispers" to let me know what I am needing to do next.  Create in me a heart of compassion for others, who is able to love beyond myself, and pray for the lost and the broken, as they are your children too.  Help me LORD, I need you to soften my heart, and to break me apart, I need YOU to open my eyes, and to see that everything that YOU are doing for me is for my own good.  Help me to remember that I am the reason for the season, as YOU were born, lived, and died for me and for my sins.  Help me to remember that in receiving YOUR perfect gift, it's now time for me to give up everything, just as you did for me.  Help me LORD, as when I meet you face to face and I said, LORD JESUS, YOU will say to me, "I know you."  Oh how I long to hear those words from YOU.  Continue to refine and renew me LORD.  Continue to teach me, and show me YOUR ways.  I am so incredibly in love and awe of YOU LORD, thank you for saving me.  Amen.

I pray that if you have accepted HIM as your SAVIOR, that you will have the courage to declare that HE is LORD.  I pray that you know that you can't make HIM the LORD of your life, as HE is LORD of your life, HE is just waiting on you to realize that!  I pray that you will make the choice to surrender and get to know every part of HIM, so that one day when you say to HIM, "LORD, LORD,"  HE will say to you, "I know you."