Saturday, August 31, 2013

defiant....

No matter how much I "think" I am following GOD'S will for my life, HE quickly let's me know that my "thinking" is quite distorted.  HIS Daily Teachings today revealed to me my defiant heart.  HE has let me know that HE is no longer o.k. with me having a defiant heart, and that until I surrender HE will continue to seek after me, until I allow HIM to transform my defiant heart, into an obedient heart that follows HIS will for my life.

In true "Heather" fashion, I failed to realize that I was harboring unforgiveness.  Without even realizing it, I was allowing bitterness to creep into my heart, and take over my body.  GOD revealed this to me this morning through my bible study.  I'll admit, when I saw what I was to read about, I groaned, as surely HE wasn't still teaching me about forgiveness?  Hadn't I already been through enough tests and trials in this area?  Hadn't I proven to HIM that I can forgive?  HE let me know that HE will continue to seek me, as HE promises to be relentless with me so that I will be able to live a truly blessed life on my journey towards wholeness.

"We never look more like CHRIST than when we forgive; since that's GOD'S goal, we're destined for plenty of opportunities." 

This morning I am living proof of that.  This morning HE has revealed to me just who I was harboring unforgiveness in my heart for.   This was for a person who I "felt" didn't deserve my forgiveness, as in my opinion had an ugly heart.  I "felt" as if though this person were an impostor posing as a CHRIST follower, but really just spreading their self-indulgent, self-serving, all knowing, judging, claim to be a CHRIST follower.....oh just typing those words.... O.k. so by now I've gotten your attention.  Your thinking of someone you know, but I will say this: "It's NOT GOD honoring to "think" this way."  I know, I struggled with that very thought this morning myself. 

It has been through HIS Daily Teaching today that HE has let me know that because I am an ambassador of CHRIST, I know I am called to a ministry of forgiveness.  A ministry of where I have had many ups and downs, and some successes, and more failures than I would like to count.  Today HE has revealed to me that those failure's were a direct result from my defiance.

HE has let me know that just as my own children disobey me, I too disobey HIM.  HE is letting me know this morning that HE is NO longer going to be accepting of my deliberate defiance.  HE is letting me know that HE wants me to forgive, no matter how I may "feel." 

I must choose forgiveness no matter what!  I must let go of the grudges I am carrying in my heart.  I must not make anymore excuses as to why I can't forgive someone who has hurt me.  I must trust HIM that HIS judgement will be in HIS timing, and what that justice is, doesn't concern me.  I must choose to do my part, in HIS will for my life.  I must be GOD honoring, and surrendering in every area of my life.

I am learning that I tend to hold grudges against people who I "feel" have judged me.  GOD is letting me know that the only thing that matters is what HE knows and says about me.  HE has let me know that my identity in HIM is worth so much more, even more than a million likes from someone else. 

HE has reminded me once again that HIS love for me is relentless.  HE has let me know that when I am defiant HE will continue to do things to get my attention.  I am learning that until I surrender, HE will continue to make my life difficult, until I let go...... and let GOD.  I must heed HIS instructions, and I must choose forgiveness.

This morning I realized that I didn't journal or blog yesterday because I was harboring some major unforgiveness in my heart, as I "felt" judged by someone in my life.  This morning I felt convicted to give up those "feelings" to GOD, and asked HIM to create in me an obedient heart, and a heart to love this person just because they are HIS child. 

In choosing to let go of the defiance in my heart, HIS words and promises are coming true for my life.  I know that in order to live my life to its fullest I must choose to trust HIM that HE knows what is best for me.  I must trust that the trials HE allows in my life are to benefit me.  I know that it is when HE takes me through storms in my life, it is when HE is growing my faith in HIM.

I am learning that the more time I spend in HIS word, the more I am wanting HIM to teach me.  Every morning I wake up saying, "LORD JESUS I need you to teach, lead, and guide me how to live every single moment of my day today."  I am learning that it is only for HIM that I am willing to go the distance.  He is letting me know that in order to go the distance for HIM, I must choose to let go of my defiant heart, and seek HIM to create in me an obedient heart.

"Now I find myself wanting GOD to be able to expect much from me.  I don't want to occupy this small space in time in mediocrity"

I no longer want to just read about having an obedient heart, I want to have an obedient heart.  I want to be able to witness to those whose need JESUS' touch.  I want my life to be a living testament to show what GOD has done in me and through me.  I want HIM to keep testing me and putting me through storms, so that I will become reliant on only HIM.  I want to know that my strength, can only come from HIM.  I want HIM to renew and refine my defiant heart, and transform my heart into an obedient one.

"Unparalleled joy and victory come from allowing CHRIST to do "the hard thing" with us."

I my lifetime I have come to know that nothing is harder than forgiveness.  When it comes to forgiveness  in my life, I am learning that "old habits die hard."  Meaning that as much as I say I want to change, I better know that HE will present every opportunity to make sure that my transformation happens. 

"Each of us has been confronted by some pretty overwhelming challenges to forgive."

Words can't describe the confusion I felt when GOD asked me to forgive the two people who hurt me the worst in my past.  I remember that day so clearly when HE promised to take that pain away from me.  I remember the freedom I felt when I forgave that day. My life is a living testament that GOD can, will, and does everything HE says HE will do. However, in my humanness all to soon I "forget" just how much HE has done for me. Again, "old habits die hard."

I am learning that in HIS eyes, absolutely nothing is unforgiveable.  HE is letting me know that no matter what happens to me, I am to forgive those who have hurt me.  He has let me know that in choosing to harbor unforgiveness in my heart I am keeping myself from being able to attain true freedom in HIM.

HE has revealed to me once again that when I choose to forgive someone who has hurt me, I will live a truly blessed life.  Therefore, I must let go of my defiance, and let GOD take over.  I must stop trying to justify my unforgiveness, and lay it all at the foot of the cross.  I must seek HIM earnestly and ask HIM to renew and refine my heart, soul, and mind.

HE has let me know that the unforgiveness in my heart is anchored by the excuses that I have allowed in my heart through Satan's "lies of deception.  Those very lies where exposed to me today through HIS teachings.

LIE #1 ~  the person isn't sorry for what they did, or they won't take responsibility
TRUTH# ~ It is my responsibility as  CHRIST follower to cultivate a forgiving heart.  GOD calls me to forgive others, just as I have been forgiven by HIM.

"Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you." Ephesians 4:32

LIE #2 ~ it is too late to forgive this person, as they are already in the grave
TRUTH# ~ It is never too late to forgive someone for the injustices that they have inflicted onto my life.  GOD says that I won't receive freedom until I forgive.

"Therefore, my brothers and sisters, I want you to know that through Jesus the forgiveness of sins is proclaimed to you.  Through him everyone who believes is set free from every sin, a justification you were not able to obtain under the law of Moses." Acts 13:38-39

LIE #3 ~ what this person has done to me is unforgiveable
TRUTH# ~ no one sin is greater than any other.  GOD desires for me to have true peace and freedom.  I won't be able to attain either until I forgive.

" For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles at just one point is guilty of breaking all of it." James 2:10

"After all, forgiveness would make everything o.k. and we want the record to show that we're not o.k."

GOD'S truth is simply this: "I won't be o.k. unitl I forgive."  HE has revealed to me that when I harbor unforgiveness through excuses, HE can't use me for HIS good works.  I am learning that in choosing to harbor unforgiveness  in my heart I am unable to write my blog.  I am learning that I must surrender and obey HIS Daily Teachings.

Today I have learned that I must let go of my incessant "need" to be defiant.  I must obey and follow HIM and do what HE tells me to do, no matter how I may "feel."  HE has let me know this morning that until I surrender and do what HE tells me to do, HE will continue to knock on the door of my heart.  HE has reminded me once again that HIS love is relentless.  HE has let me know that HE will relentlessly seek after me because HE loves me so much.

"GOD is faithful.  HE will plead our case and take up our cause.... but only when we make a deliberate decision to cease representing ourselves in the matter."

In choosing to believe and know that HE is faithful I must let go of HIM "needing" to hear of the injustices that have been done to me.  He is letting me know that HE already knows, and has allowed said injustices to be done to me, so that my dependence in HIM will grow, and therefore my faith will continue to grow.

Today I am thankful to know and serve a loving GOD who's love is relentless.  I am thankful that HE allows the storms to pass through my life to teach me HIS lessons every single day of my life.  Today I am thankful to know that though the storms may come, and the waves may crash, HE is there, holding me, helping me, and loving me all the way through it.

I pray today that you will seek the one who's love for you is relentless.  I pray today that you will surrender the unforgiveness that you have harbored in your heart.  I pray today that HIS favor and blessings will be poured over your life through your obedience in HIM.  I pray today that you will allow HIM to transform your defiant heart into an obedient heart for HIM.

Blessings,
Heather


Thursday, August 29, 2013

fear....

There are few moments that I dread as a Mama, one of those being talking to my children about "Stranger Danger."  Yesterday I spoke to my almost five year old son about how we never talk to strangers.  How they could take him from me, and do bad things to him.  I felt confident when I finished our "talk" that he really heard me.  In my heart I knew that a test would probably be right around the corner, only I didn't realize just how quickly that would come.

The day started out with us driving in my new suv with my boys, and my son proudly showed me that he could work his own window.  It was while driving down the highway during the morning commute, that he rolled down his window and began waving and talking to anyone and everyone who would listen.  I quickly located the window lock button, and reminded him of "stranger danger."

Our first stop was at the DMV, and I reiterated of just how important it was for him to stay right by me, and how we don't ever talk to strangers.  Well true to his reputation of being my strongest willed child, he began to test the boundaries.  It started off slowly at first, but then as time went on, he became bolder in his defiance.  By the time we were leaving, he was running circles around me, and his baby brother.  I was exasperated, but I needed to make one more stop, and though I really didn't want to, I decided I would be really quick.

When we got to our next destination, TARGET, how fitting it is that we were in that store.  I felt as if though I had a target on me, as my patience was wearing very thin.  I was trying to be as quick as possible in getting the things I needed, and as I was reaching for an item on the top shelf, he escaped the cart.  He smiled that , "what are you gonna do about this Mama look," and I sternly said, "No sir, you need to stay in the cart, remember "stranger danger?"  With that he was off and running, yelling, "my shoes make me so fast Mama, no one can catch me."

A clerk was stocking the shelves, as I kept my cool, I quickly asked her if she could please stay with my baby in the cart, and I took off after him.  I finally caught up to him, as the alarm was going off from him being "lost."  I didn't realize it at the time, but the store was on lock down, until I located my son.

I walked him back to the cart, and before I could get two words out, he took off again.  This time I raced through the aisles with his baby brother, and turned the corner just in time to see him dive into a clothing rack.  I began to say, "Buddy Mama isn't mad, but please you need to come to me right now."  I must have stayed around the clothing rack for another thirty seconds as the horror hit me, "he isn't in there."

All I can remember after that is frantically yelling his name, and crying out to GOD, "OH GOD OH GOD."  As I sit here typing those words this morning, the pain of that moment comes rushing back.  As I was running and crying, and eventually began screaming his name, a clerk saw me, and said, "do you need some help?"  I don't know how I got the words out, but I managed to say, "My son, orange shirt, oh god please help me."  She quickly got on her radio, and I don't have a clue what she said, but once again I heard the alarm.

Being deaf brings out one of my biggest fears, and that is NOT being able to hear my children cry out to me. Yesterday being deaf is what kept me from completely breaking down, as I didn't hear what they were saying.  I was so focused on finding him.  Soon they said, "we found him."  After what seemed like forever, probably 2 or 3 minutes they were able to locate him.  He had run to the toy aisle, and when he saw me he had HUGE crocodile tears and said, "I'm sorry Mama, I just really wanted a toy."

As I sat thinking about this moment, replaying in my head, over and over, I sensed GOD said to me, "Fear not for I am with you always."  HIS Daily Teachings was a loving reminder in HIS word this morning through Psalm 23.  I can honestly say I have read this so many times, but never did it bring such a comfort to me.  I am thankful that yesterday HE began preparing my heart for what was to come.  I am thankful that HE showed me how HE is my source of comfort, and strength.

Today HE has asked me to break down what Psalm 23 means to me.  Through my quiet time bible, I am able to answer the question, "What fear in your life will go to war against with this prayer as your concern?"  Today I will face my fear boldly and will declare that the LORD is my source of comfort and strength.

"The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want." Ps. 23:1 

I know HE is my rock and my fortress, and with HIM I won't be afraid. I am learning that HE is with me always.  I know that with HIM I will be able to face my fears with confidence as I am know I am NEVER alone.

"He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters" Ps. 23:2

I am learning that HE is where I can, will, and do find rest.  I know that often times when I am stressed HE gives me the opportunity to just lie down, come to HIM, and lay all of my burdens down.  I know that it is when I surrender completely HE gives me peace, and with peace comes much needed rest.

"He restores my soul.  He guides me in paths of righteousness for His name's sake."

Throughout the past 103 days of being in HIS word I know that HE is teaching me everyday to "be still and know that HE is GOD."  I am learning that through my daily surrendering and obedience that I must seek HIM daily and allow HIM to teach, lead, and guide me through every single moment of my life.  More than anything I long to be like JESUS in my heart.  I know that in choosing to follow HIM and seeking solace in HIM, HE can, will, and does give me everything I need to face my fears.

"Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me;  your rod and your staff they comfort me."

In 2004 I read the Todd and Lisa Beamer story, "Let's Roll."  Todd was one of the heroic passengers aboard flight 93 that crashed into a field in Shanksville, PA on September 11, 2001.  A telephone operator spoke with Todd's wife Lisa, and told her about her husbands final moments on the phone with her.  While he, and other passengers were preparing to storm the cockpit, he asked the operator, "will you say Psalm 23 with me?"  I remember my eyes welling up with tears as I read how he bravely said Psalm 23 with the operator.  I remember thinking, "would I be able to do the same?"  I can only imagine the fear that he and the other passengers must have felt that day.  I can only imagine what comfort it must have brought him in his final moments.  I believe that GOD allowed me to read Todd's story of triumph in proclaiming his loving HEAVENLY FATHER'S words despite the terror and fear that was so present in his final moments.  I know that GOD wants me to know that even in my "darkest hours" HE is with me always.  HE wants me to know that HE is with me, and HE is greater than the evil that is lurking, and trying to hurt me.  I believe that GOD protected Todd in his final moments as he cried out to the one who love and knows him best.  I believe that when I cry out to HIM, HE hears everyone of my cries, and answers every single one of my calls for help.

"You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies.  You annoint my head with oil; my cup overflows." Ps. 23:5

GOD is letting me know this morning that nothing scares HIM.   HE is letting me know that admist all of my fear of the evil that is lurking in my life, HE can, will, and does continue to prepare me for what is to come.  HE prepares me to complete HIS good works in my life.  HE wants me to know that I shouldn't fear anything, as HE has it all under control.  Therefore, I must trust HIM.   HE is reminding me once again that I am to be in this world and not of it.  HE wants me to know that as HIS follower I am to be set apart.  HE wants me to know that because I am set apart, evil will lurk around me.  I must trust HIS words that I can seek refuge in HIM, and HE will protect me.  HE is my fortress!

"Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever."  Ps. 23:6

I know that by following HIM everyday, picking up my cross and surrendering I will live a truly blessed life.  I know that because I have asked HIM into my heart and declared JESUS CHRIST as my LORD and SAVIOR I am saved!  I know that because I am saved that I am promised eternal life.  A life to live with JESUS and HIS FATHER in heaven.  I know that one day, I will no longer have to worry about evil lurking, and I will no longer be weary from all the burdens that this side of life brings me.  HIS Daily Teachings wants me to know that just as one day I will have nothing to fear, HE doesn't want me to have to wait.  HE wants me to boldly declare whose I am to my fear, speak of my fear, and pray my fear away with HIS words. "HE wants me to be confident that HE who began a good work in me will carry it to completion until the day of CHRIST JESUS." Philippians 1:6

Today I am thankful for my loving SAVIOR who has once again rescued me in my time of need.  I am thankful that HE has placed it in my heart to model HIS love for me, to my own children.  I am thankful that HE chooses me everyday to live this life that I have been blessed with.  I am thankful that even though I mess up and allow fear to take over my heart, that HE is there with me always.   I am thankful to know that I never exasperate HIM, and HE never grows weary of my defiance.  I am thankful that HE loves me through all of my strong willedness, and NEVER gives up on me.

I pray today that you will seek the courage and the confidence in HIM to face your fear.  I pray today that you will know that HE is your fortress and you can seek refuge in HIM.  I pray today that you will run and not walk straight into HIS loving arms.  I pray today that you will seek HIM, and allow HIM to teach, lead, and guide you through every single moment of your life today.

Blessings,
Heather





 


Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Prince of Peace....

This morning I was ripped from sleep at 3am as my Heavenly Father needed to speak to me. Yesterday during several attempts HE tried speaking to me, I just wasn't ready to hear HIM. This morning however, all I heard was HIS whisper "Peace."  HE was saying to me, "write about my peace that is for you."  

I have lived a very turmoil filled life, one of which I didn't have a lot of peace.  Since I began writing this blog I have come under some major attacks by Satan, and there have been days where I am completely "deaf" when it comes to hearing from the LORD.  This morning however HE captured my attention and has asked to write what I know.

What I know is I am thankful that HE is my source of PEACE!  I wrote that in my journal this morning, without even realizing what HIS Daily Teachings were going to be about for me that day.  I "thought" HE was wanting me to write about HIS peace, however HE quickly revealed to me that this morning was to be my "heart cleansing day."  I wouldn't be reading my book about strongholds.  No, I would be sorting out the burdens, anger, and anxiety I had been carrying around without even realizing it.  I was reminded of this during my "Quiet Time Bible" reading this morning.  The following words really spoke to my heart, "The first step in receiving GOD'S peace is to stop shouting so loud."  I have learned for the past 102 days of being in HIS word that even though I may not be shouting out loud, I am screaming in my heart!  I am screaming for HIM to please HEAR me.  What I have failed to realize is that HE does hear me, I am just screaming so loud that I don't hear HIM.  My bible goes onto say, "Put down the burdens and fights you face.  Give them to GOD and allow HIM to speak peace to your heart."

This morning GOD is reminding me of HIS peace that HE has for me.  I must trust and believe that HIS peace is all I need.  This morning HIS Daily Teachings is all based upon Psalm 37:1-17

Do not fret because of those who are evil or be envious of those who do wrong;for like the grass they will soon wither,like green plants they will soon die away. Ps. 37:1-2

GOD wants me to know that I need not to be afraid of anyone who is NOT from HIM.  HE wants me to stand firmly in HIS word and declare that HE is my rock, and my fortress, and HE can, will, and does protect me from all things evil.  HE has let me know that I am to not be jealous of evil one's who "seem" to be filled with HIS blessings, but who are NOT walking with HIM.  HE wants me to know that NOTHING good can come from not following HIM.  I must not let my fleshly desires and wants get in HIS way.  I must trust in HIS timing and provision for my life. HE has lovingly reminded me this morning that the only way to eternal life is through HIM.  I must get my eyes off the ways of the world, and get them focused on only HIM.

"Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.                       Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart." Ps. 37:3-4

HE is telling me that in order to receive HIS true peace, I must trust HIM, and NOT give in to the ways of the world.  I must allow HIM to do HIS good works in me and through me.  HE wants me to be happy, and thankful that I have been chosen to live the life that I have been given.  HE wants me to live each day feeling completely blessed, in knowing that HE loves me enough to seek me every single moment.  HE wants me to know that when I allow HIM to grow my faith in HIM, and acknowledge HIM in all of my ways, HE can, will, and does meet all of my needs abundantly. HE wants me to know that all I have to do is do what HE tells me to, and when I seek HIM earnestly and love HIM with all of my heart, soul, and mind, HE can, will, and does bless me by answering my prayers.  I must remember that HE will answer my prayers in HIS timing and not mine.

"Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will do this: He will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn, your vindication like the noonday sun." Ps. 37:5-6

I know that when I publicly declared that JESUS was, and is my SAVIOR, I was saying and promising to pick up my cross daily and follow HIM.  I was letting HIM know that I would follow HIM all the days of my life, no matter what.   I am learning that even when I don't "feel" like it, I still need to pick up my cross and follow HIM.  I am learning that faith is a full-time job, one of which I must never try and slack off from.  I am learning that without my faith growing in HIM, my life is way to burdensome to live on my own.  I am learning that trusting HIM means, letting go of doing things "my way" and waiting for HIM, and doing things "HIS way" no matter what!   HE has let me know that HE can, will, and does bless me for my obedience and for my discipline in following HIM all the days of my life.  HE wants me to know this morning that nothing delights HIM more than when I obey HIM, and pick up my cross and follow HIM.  HE wants me to know that HE loves it when I say to HIM each morning, "LORD JESUS, teach, lead, and guide me how to live every single moment of my life today.  Therefore, I must keep my focus on only HIM.

"Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him; do not fret when people succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes." Ps. 37:7

This morning I take great comfort in knowing that HE is working in "theme's" for HIS Daily Teachings.  Today I know that HE is asking me to wait patiently for HIM.  HE has been working on this with me for the past 102 days, and I am still learning each day what that truly means.  Today HE is letting me know that HE allows me to view other people's successes so that I will be humbled and let go of my pride.  HE has let me know that it isn't up to me to judge whether or not someone is doing good works through HIM.  HE has let me know that HE can, will, and does take care of evil-doers in HIS timing, not mine.  HE has let me know that until I let go of the jealousy I have in my heart towards people who I "think" are getting away with doing things "their way,"  HE can't use me for HIS purpose and HE can't continue to do HIS good works through me.  This I believe to be the reason I wasn't able to hear HIM yesterday, and I most certainly couldn't write about anything HE was teaching me.  

"Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret—it leads only to evil.
For those who are evil will be destroyed, but those who hope in the Lord will inherit the land." Ps. 37:8-9

Yesterday in what I believe to be an attack from Satan, someone I care a lot about became enraged with me.  I was accused of having my own agenda, and not giving wise GODLY counsel.  The very thought of this angered me, to the point of tears.  I had allowed myself to become so upset, that all I could do was cry. Though I held it together while in conversation with this person, I soon there after fell apart.  I cried out to GOD and asked HIM "why are things becoming so difficult for me?"  I cried out to HIM, "YOU know my heart LORD, show me if I am saying anything that isn't honoring to YOU."  HE revealed to me that nothing I say or do will change someones mind when they are NOT right with HIM.  HE has let me know that I have been doing exactly what HE has called me to do, and will continue to call me to do.  HE has let me know that I must let go of my need to be angry when I come under attack.  HE reminded me of this during my quiet time with HIM this morning that HE is my fortress.  Meaning, HE is my safe-haven.  HE is my source of comfort.  HE is my soft place to fall.  HE is my shoulder to cry on.  HE is my healer when I am hurt.  HE is the one who knows me and loves me best.  HE is the one who tests me daily, to grow my faith in HIM.  I am learning that HE can and will keep testing me daily so that my faith in HIM will grown more and more each day.  HE has let me know that when I stay on the path that HE has chosen for me, I will be blessed.  HE reminded me that HE is the source of my hope.  Therefore, I must hold fast, and hold onto my hope that is in HIM.  I must wait for HIM, as HE is coming to my rescue.

"A little while, and the wicked will be no more; though you look for them, they will not be found. But the meek will inherit the land and enjoy peace and prosperity." Ps. 37:10-11


HE has let me know that when I put all of my hope in HIM, that HE will remove the evil from my life.  HE reminded me of that this morning in letting me know that HE is my fortress.  Over and over again HE reminded me of that.  HE let me know that when I focus on HIM, the evil ways of the world will NOT harm me, and HE can, will, and does protect me.  I am learning that even though I may go through test and trials, HE is with me always.  I am learning that I must trust that HE will do what HE says HE will do.  I know that I must choose to trust HIM completely so HE will be able to fill me with HIS peace that surpasses anything and everything of this world.  Today HE wants me to meditate on HIS words in Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

"The wicked plot against the righteous and gnash their teeth at them; but the Lord laughs at the wicked, for he knows their day is coming." Ps. 37:12-13

HE wants me to know this morning that though people may hurt me, I am covered under HIS blood.  I am not forsaken, I am forgiven.  HE has let me know that HE won't let any evil harm me, and even if they do manage to harm me, that harm will not go unpunished.  GOD reminded me of that through a memory I have of HIM asking me to forgive my step-grandfather who undoubtedly destroyed my childhood.  HE reminded me that though I wanted and sought after revenge so fiercely and intently in my heart, HE was the one who would bring justice to my life.  HE let me know that HE was in control, not me, and all I had to do was trust HIM, and HE would remove all the pain and strife from my heart that I suffered from being under attack for so long.  This I know to be true, as HE did exactly what HE promised.  Today I am thankful for HIS loving reminder that HE is my source of comfort when I suffer injustices of this world.

"The wicked draw the sword and bend the bow to bring down the poor and needy,to slay those whose ways are upright.But their swords will pierce their own hearts,and their bows will be broken." Ps. 37:14-15

As I was crying out to HIM this morning in my journal, I could feel myself tense up.  I knew that I was under attack, and Satan was trying to wipe me out.  This morning I found myself so thankful for HIS peace.  I am thankful that HIS peace surpasses anything of this world.  I know that nothing can bring me more comfort than HIM.  I am learning that HIS peace is even greater than D's love for me.  I am learning that nothing can fill the void in my heart like HE can, will, and does in my heart.  I am learning that the more I seek HIM, the more I will find myself under attack.  I am hopeful as HIS word promises to protect me, and to prosper me when I choose to follow HIS will and path for my life.  I am thankful that though I may suffer through injustices in my life, HE is the one who takes care of the evil in my life.  I am thankful that HE is in charge, and HIS timing and provision are perfect, as I am not.  I am thankful that HE loves me so much that anything that brings harm to me does NOT go unpunished.  I am thankful that I don't have to be the one to deal with the injustices of this world, all I have to do is trust HIM, and let HIM teach, lead, and guide me every single moment of my life. I must trust HIM with all that I am, and all that I have.  I must surrender.

"Better the little that the righteous have than the wealth of many wicked;  for the power of the wicked will be broken, but the Lord upholds the righteous." Ps. 37:16-17

GOD has let me know that I must let go of the desires that the world puts into my heart.  I must hold fast to HIS promises and seek HIM earnestly as HE is the supplier of all my needs.  I must not let myself become jealous of what other people have, and covet what they have.  I must be thankful for all that I am being given, and trust HIM that HIS timing and provision are perfect for me.  I must trust and believe HIM!

Last night I went to sleep with peace in my heart, as GOD gave me the courage to confess a lie I told to my husband 13 years ago.  A lie that seemed so minor at the time, but manifested into a HUGE fear in my heart, of what would D think of me when he found out?  For that very reason I kept this lie under wraps, and last night GOD let me know that I wouldn't have any peace, until I cleansed my heart of this lie.  

I don't know why I expected anything less of D, than him being totally understanding, and loving towards me.  He let me know that it was indeed minor, but he was thankful that I was able to share it with him.  D let me know that we are all sinners, and it is sinner's who go to heaven.  D let me know that he could see that I was under major attack yesterday, and he began to speak GOD'S truth into my heart.  I went to bed last night with peace in my heart, knowing that I had "come clean" in my marriage to D.  

It is no coincidence that GOD had me confess my sin to D, as I just read this amazing book called, "Beyond Ordinary" by Justin and Trisha Davis.  Their story is about "cleansing" your marriage of anything that you have been keeping from your spouse.  Their story is about all the storms that they endured, that was almost the demise of their marriage, however GOD had much bigger plans for them.  GOD took their greatest storms and hurts, and turned it into this amazing testimony, of which I believe is a must read for anyone who is either married, or is thinking of becoming married.  I am so thankful that GOD mysteriously downloaded this book onto my kindle, and just so happened to reveal it to me in HIS perfect timing.

I pray today that the GOD of peace will be in your life.  I pray today that you will surrender and give all of your burdens, anxiety, guilt, shame, and anger to the Prince of Peace.  I pray today that you will seek your Heavenly Father who is the King of all Kings, and the Lord of all Lords.  I pray today that HIS love, grace, hope, promise, and forgiveness will fill you with a peace that surpasses anything and everything of this world.

Blessings,
Heather 







Monday, August 26, 2013

"emotionally fed"

It is no secret that I have always struggled with my weight.  I have since I was a little girl.  From very early on I was "emotionally fed."  Meaning when I was happy, I ate, when I was sad, I ate.  Whether I was hungry or not, based upon my emotions is when I decided I would eat.  So naturally being "emotionally fed," one could see that I ate all of the time.

I was very sneaky as a young girl in getting food, as I was manipulated and controlled so fiercely about what I could and couldn't do.  Eating was one thing that they couldn't control, and when they tried, I just became very sneaky.  I over indulged in most everything that I loved.  My favorite things to eat as a young girl were Oatmeal Cream Pie's,  and Peanut Butter Twix's.  You know how you used to be able to buy a huge box?  Well I would consume an entire box in one sitting.  I didn't just eat because I was hungry, I ate because I was "emotionally fed."

This morning I woke up to a HUGE stomach ache from over indulging last night from my choices of food consumption.  HIS Daily Teachings today was a wake-up call for me as it was talking about "Overcoming Food-related Strongholds."  As I sat on my living room couch this morning with pen and paper in hand, I quickly realized that this pain was not going to subside.  I sensed that it was far more than just my over indulging last night.  No, it went way beyond what I "thought" and after going back to bed for a few hours, I woke up ready to hear HIS word.

GOD wanted me to know this morning that HE created me to be whole in my body, soul, and spirit.  HE wanted me to know that I must realize that HE is the GOD of all three parts of me.  HE let me know that until I do understand that,  I will continue to struggle and live with defeat in my life in the areas that have me kept in bondage.  HE has let me know that until I let go.... I will struggle.

Throughout HIS Daily Teachings today HE showed me in HIS words what I must meditate on daily to be free of my stronghold of being "emotionally fed."

"May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.  The one who calls you is faithful, and he will do it." 1 Thessalonians 5:23-24

HE has let me know today that HE is faithful!  HE has let me know that because HE is faithful, HE can, will, and does, EVERYTHING HE says HE will do!  HE let me know that it is HE HIMSELF who is working in me and through me.  HE reminded me that it is HE who is involved in every single area of me.  HE is the one who needs to be in control of my body, soul, and spirit.


HE has let me know that HE is the GOD of peace.  I tend to forget that when I am being "emotionally fed" and find myself trying to fill a void in my life that I know only HE can fill.  


Beth Moore writes: "The word of GOD is perfectly inspired, therefore, every identification of GOD, every name HE is called, is in perfect context."


I know that I must surrender all of me which includes my body, soul, and spirit to HIS wise, loving, and liberating authority.  I am learning that until I surrender in all three of these areas in my life I will not have true peace.


"Peace is the fruit of authority."  "GOD'S authority"


"Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful."


I know that as a CHRIST follower I am called to surrender my ways and be set apart from the ways of this world.  I am to live in HIS ways and allow HIS HOLY SPIRIT to teach, lead, and guide me every single moment of my day.


GOD has lovingly reminded me of this through many songs of worship that I sing at home, while driving, and at church.  One song in particular really caught my attention in what I believe to be HIS whisper to me about surrender is by Hillsong United titled: "Like an Avalanche"  I remember hearing it for the first time at church, and not really understanding what it meant.  I was probably in my 60th day of seeking HIM earnestly, and still wasn't quite sure what it was that HE was wanting from me.  I foolishly thought I was just supposed to write a blog everyday about what HE was teaching me, but soon there after HE revealed to me just what the lyrics truly meant.

I was excited the following week when I heard the song again, and this time I was able to throw my hands in the air and sing loud without hesitation these lyrics: "Take my life, take all that I am, With all that I am, I will love You, Take my heart, take all that I have, Jesus, how I adore You"  I remember the tears streaming down my face, when for the first time I truly was surrendering in that very moment to the ONE who knows me and loves me best.  I was surrendering "my ways" so that "HIS ways" could become my life.  
HE has let me know that anything that is for HIS glory, is good for me! 

HE so lovingly reminded me this morning that my body is not my own, but is rather a holy temple that HE created just for me.  HE let me know that when I don't take care of my body, it hurts HIM.  I in my humanness forget that and get so wrapped up in all of my emotions in "trying" to make myself feel better, when really HE wants me to run straight into HIS arms.  HE is waiting for me to surrender.  I must surrender the incessant "need" I have to be "emotionally fed," and allow myself to be HOLY SPIRIT lead.

"Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own" 1 Corinthians 6:19


I am learning that though my feelings and personality were given to me by HIM, they are NOT meant to control me.  HE is teaching me that my physical body is a gift from HIM.  HE reminded me of that in HIS word this morning.


"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." Psalm 139:14

Today HE has revealed to me that the only way I will live in complete victory is when I choose to be HOLY SPIRIT lead.  I know I was created in HIS image, therefore I must allow HIS HOLY SPIRIT to lead me.

"So God created mankind in his own image,in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them." Genesis 1:27

"You, however, are not in the realm of the flesh but are in the realm of the Spirit, if indeed the Spirit of God lives in you. And if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, they do not belong to Christ." Romans 8:9

I take great comfort in knowing that when I was baptized and received JESUS as my Savior, it was then that HIS HOLY SPIRIT took up residency inside of me.  I never quite understood what that meant until about 3 years ago when I heard Bruce Wilkinson speak about his book, "You Were Born for This."  GOD knew that it would take me sitting there in Northwoods Community Church and seeing a visual teaching of just how HIS HOLY SPIRIT works within me and through me.  I left church that day with a greater understanding of just what happens not only to me, but to HIM when I sin.  I left with an understanding of just how important is was to think of HIM, and how the choices that I make affect HIM.   Clearly though as today's teaching will show you, I don't understand everything.  Clearly I need to be reminded daily, and need to be taught time and again what it is that HE wants from me.

Today I am thankful to have a Savior who seeks after me daily, that is waiting for me to open my eyes and ears to HIS Daily Teachings every morning.  I am thankful to know that HIS mercies are new every morning, and that even though I messed up terribly the day before that when I confess, and repent I am forgiven.  I am thankful that through each day of HIS Daily Teachings I am finding myself more and more dependent on HIM.  HE has let me know that through each day that I take away HIS teachings and apply them to my life, the stronger my faith and belief in HIM are becoming.


"But whoever is united with the Lord is one with him in spirit." 1 Corinthians 6:17

I take great comfort in these words this morning: "A huge part of wholeness in the life of a believer is when GOD has been allowed to sanctify (take over, and set apart) our whole spirit, soul, and body." I am thankful that I am on this journey towards wholeness with HIM leading me.  As I can't imagine trying to navigate this life all on my own.  I am thankful that one day I will reach the end of my journey, and I will be made whole.  I know that I will be made whole because of my obedience, and self discipline, and letting go.... and letting GOD'S HOLY SPIRIT teach, lead, and guide me every single moment of my life.

So today in my struggle to let go of being "emotionally fed," I am choosing to be HOLY SPIRIT lead.  I am going to think about the food that I am putting into my body, and I am thinking about how it will fuel my body.  Today I am letting go of foolish ways of "thinking" I can do anything within my own strength, as I know that my strength can only come from HIM.

"If a man could truly subdue all of his fleshly appetites by the pure power of his own determination, he would simply worship his own will."

HE is telling me that HIS word is about HIS will and HIS will only.  I am learning that GOD will never allow my continued success through my own fleshly determination.  I am learning that I must call on HIM, seek HIM earnestly and ask HIM to give me the strength to break free from my stronghold of being "emotionally fed."

I must say NO to the flesh, and YES to HIM!

HE is letting me know that though I may be able to do things "my way" for a little while.  I am sure to know that failure is imminent when I rely on only myself for strength.  HE is telling me that I must surrender.

"Since you died with Christ to the elemental spiritual forces of this world, why, as though you still belonged to the world, do you submit to its rules:  “Do not handle! Do not taste! Do not touch!”? These rules, which have to do with things that are all destined to perish with use, are based on merely human commands and teachings. Such regulations indeed have an appearance of wisdom, with their self-imposed worship, their false humility and their harsh treatment of the body, but they lack any value in restraining sensual indulgence." Colossians 2:20-23

I am learning that in order to receive true freedom through CHRIST I must surrender in all areas of my life.  I am learning that when I bow to HIM and allow HIm to take control of my health, HE can, will, and does keep me healthy.  HE is telling me the most important thing I must understand today is this: "He will NEVER allow me to do it all on my own.  HE will NEVER allow me to just be "emotionally fed" without there being consequences for my health."  HE will NEVER allow me to rely on my own strength for very long.  HE will seek me EVERY single moment of my life, until I surrender."

Today I am picking up my cross once again, surrendering, and following HIM.  Today I am trusting HIM and believing HIM that HE knows what is best for me.

I pray today that if you are being "emotionally fed" you will surrender and allow yourself to be HOLY SPIRIT lead.  I pray today that HE will break you free from your stronghold when it comes to food.  I pray today that you know that HE knows and understands your struggles.  I pray today that you know that HE is the one who knows and loves you the best, and HE is waiting for you.

Blessings,
Heather 






Sunday, August 25, 2013

the hard way.....

When it comes to the many tests and trials of my life, I seem to insist on doing things the hard way.  I  know that in choosing to do things that way, or I should say "my way," I wonder just how much I exasperate GOD.  While I know that HIS ways are the best for me, my humanness gets in the way, and takes over.  All too soon I find myself falling apart, and in need of HIM.  I must choose to let go of my incessant need to do things the hard way, and seek HIM and let HIM show me how to live my life.

For me overcoming my addiction to stuff has been my hardest struggle.  I love to shop, for anything really.  Mostly for other people, and occasionally for myself.  I often find myself receiving one good deal, and then it sparks the want that is disguised as my need.  I tell myself, "you deserve it, your not paying a lot of money.  GOD wants you to have nice things."  I am a bargain shopper so I fall for this every time, hook, line, and sinker.  Every time, when the rush wears off, I am left in its dust, feeling worse than before, and often times with little to no money to pay for the actual needs of our family.

It never fails that when I am driven and focused on following our budget, that all the good deals show up in my path.  It never fails that the harder I try to stay focused on doing what I know I should be doing, my addiction becomes a relentless beast at my heels, taunting me, and probing me to do what I know I shouldn't do.  All too soon I let myself be overcome, and then the guilt, and shame begin to pile on.

It has taken me years to realize that I have this addiction.  HIS Daily Teachings today is letting me know that I can break free from my addiction, all I have to do is seek HIM, and HE will help me break free from my stronghold.

"Addiction is one of the cruelest of all yokes because is deceives us unmercifully and ruthlessly."

GOD has revealed to me today that it is Satan's top priority to keep me from HIM.  HE has let me know that Satan is a beast who is out to devour my life.  HE has let me know that just as Satan is my enemy, he is also GOD'S.  Today HE is revealing to me the lies that Satan fills my head with.


The first of many lies I am told is it is my friend, and it is my source of comfort.  However,  GOD'S truth is this,  HE is my true friend, and HE is my only true source of comfort.  HE is the one who can, will, and does wash away my sins.   HE is the one who can, will, and does make me whole again.  I know that I must choose HIM every single moment of my life, so that I will be able to live my life with freedom and in live in peace.

"Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded." James 4:8

"You are my friends if you do what I command." John 15:14


The second lie I am told is I "need" it to survive.  However, GOD'S truth is that HE will meet all of my needs abundantly!  With HIM, I will not be in "need" for anything.  HE can, will, and does provide for me every time!


"And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:19

The third lie I am told is that it will make me feel powerful.  However, GOD'S truth says, that HE is my strength, and only HE can provide me with strength.  I must choose to rebuke Satan's lies of my life, and speak HIS truth over the lies I am told.  GOD wants me to know that when I believe the enemy's lies nothing makes me feel more powerless.


"I can do all this through him who gives me strength." Philippians 4:13

"He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak." Isaiah 40:29


"So do not fear for I am with you, do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand" Isaiah 41:10


Today I am realizing that without GOD it is terribly hard for me to overcome the relentless beast known as addiction.   GOD has revealed to me that HE wants to set me free from my addiction, therefore I must NEVER be accepting of my failures in seeking to overcome the beast.  I must not wait till I get to Heaven to receive HIS healing touch.  I must know and remember that with GOD I can do anything.  HE can, will, and does redeem me, and pours HIS love and grace over my life.  I know without a doubt that my redeemer lives.


"The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold." Psalm 18:2


This morning I find it very comforting that when I began searching what GOD being my redeemer means, HE brought me to my favorite Psalm, and reminded me of my 1st born son's favorite song, "Redeemer" by Nicole C. Mullins.   Today I am seeking comfort from my Heavenly Father who knows and loves me best.  Today I am choosing HIS will for my life, and follows HIS path, and HIS plans for my life.  Today I am rejoicing because I know that I am saved.  I am so blessed to have been rescued at the very moment HE chose for me to be.  


Today I am thankful that for the past few weeks GOD has been working through a theme in my life, about putting on "HIS armor" and going into battle with HIS truth.  Today HE has revealed to me that I must let go of my self-loathing and put on HIS armor.  I know that the only way to truly win the battle of my addiction is by allowing HIS truth to speak over my life.  I know that I must not cower and wait for HIM to fight the battle for me, rather I must be courageous in my faith, and stand up against what is NOT of GOD.  


"Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power.  Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes.  For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities,against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.  Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.  Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God." Ephesians 6:10-17


GOD has let me know that HE can set me free!  I must give HIM my time, trust, and cooperation!  HE is wanting me to know that in setting me free, HE won't always set me free in one day.  HE wants me to know that not only does HE have so much HE wants to teach me, HE also has so much HE wants to show me.  HE wants me to know that while HE can bless me with instant freedom, HE is more interested in creating in me a dependence on HIM.  He has let me know that if HE only needed to deliver me once, then I would only be able to witness HIS greatness once, and in my humanness I would soon forget.  HE has let me know that HE loves me too much to ever let me forget just how much HE loves me, and just how far HE will go for me.


I know that HE wants me to see how great all of HIS ways are.  HE wants me to seek HIM earnestly,  and to allow HIM to teach, lead, and guide me every single moment of my life.  HE wants me to choose to follow HIM and HIS plans for my life.  HE wants me calling out to HIM, crying for HIS help daily, as HE wants and desires a relationship with me.  HE has let me know that with HIM fighting for me, who could stand against me.


"Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good. His love endures forever. Give thanks to the God of gods.His love endures forever. Give thanks to the Lord of lords: His love endures forever. to him who alone does great wonders, His love endures forever." Psalm 136:1-4


"What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?" Romans 8:31


I must remember that no matter how long my addiction has been relentlessly taunting and attacking me, I must know  that Satan is not only my enemy but is also GOD'S enemy.


"It is a means by which Satan himself is seeking to defy the army of the living GOD."


I know that in order to fight the battle against my addiction I must call upon GOD to help me.  I must remember that HIS anger towards my enemy is as fierce as HIS love for me.  HE has revealed that HE will fight for me and HE will break the tie that binds me to my enemy, thus breaking me free from my stronghold.


HE has let me know that though HE can, will, and does fight for me alone at times, there are times however, where HE expects me to fight along side of HIM.  I know that it is through the trials and tests of my life that HE builds my confidence and belief in HIM.  I must trust HIM in the battle that HE is leading me through to set me free from my addictions.

HE has let me know that HE wants me involved in fighting the battle so that I will be able to celebrate my victory in HIM breaking me free from my strongholds.   I am learning that overcoming my addictions may actually be the battle of my life, therefore, I must always be ready to fight so the victory will be mine.  HE has let me know that overcoming my addiction will be my very own Goliath story in my testimony.

I know that GOD'S will for my life is the key that will set me free from my own prison.  I must trust HIM that HE can, will, and does everything HE says HE will do.  I know that HE is my healer.  I know that HE is my portion.  I know that HE is ALL I need.

GOD has let me know that I must not allow myself to become discouraged of someone elses successes in overcoming their addictions.  HE has let me know that it is Satan's ploy to play mind games with me in thinking that GOD doesn't love me as much as that other person.  GOD commands that I declare that I am saved by the stripes and covered under HIS blood, so therefore I must speak HIS truth to my addiction.


HIS truth has revealed itself to me that I do NOT "need" my addiction to survive.  I do however, need JESUS, and HE is all I need.  I know that I will find HIM when I seek HIM, and it is then that HE will set me free from my addictions.  I must believe in HIM that HE will deliver me.  I know that is is through HIS grace and truth that I will truly be set free.

"For the law was given through Moses; grace and truth came through Jesus Christ." John 1:17

"I am in constant recovery from the ravages of my own sin nature."


"Now, Lord, consider their threats and enable your servants to speak your word with great boldness.  Stretch out your hand to heal and perform signs and wonders through the name of your holy servant Jesus.” Acts 4:29-30


HE has revealed to me today that absolutely nothing is too hard for HIM.


“Ah, Sovereign Lord, you have made the heavens and the earth by your great power and outstretched arm. Nothing is too hard for you." Jeremiah 32:17


Today GOD has revealed that anything that is over my  head, is under HIS feet.  HE has let me know that nothing will have power over me, when I seek HIM, and allow HIM to lead me through the battle against my addictions.


"or by the earth, for it is his footstool; or by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the Great King." Matthew 5:35

I know that whenever I confess and turn away from my sin I will find HIS mercy.


"Whoever conceals their sins does not prosper, but the one who confesses and renounces them finds mercy." Proverbs 28:13

"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." 1 John 1:9


I know that I need HIM every hour, of every, minute, of every single second of  my life.  I know that in order to live my life as the way HE intended I must have HIS truth in me.


"If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us." 1 John 1:8

I know that because HE is the one who created me, nothing I do surprises HIM.  HE knows all of me, every part of my being, HE knows.  HE delights in me, which for me is hard to fathom, but I know HE does, as I know it brings HIM pure joy whenever I finally "get" what it is HE is trying to teach me.  I know that HE delights in me, every time I sit down and type out HIS Daily Teachings.


"You have searched me, Lord,and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar.You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you, Lord, know it completely. You hem me in behind and before,and you lay your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,too lofty for me to attain."  Psalm 139:1-6

"Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.  See if there is any   offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting." Psalm 139:23-24


I am learning that HE will continue to humble me, until I let go of my incessant need of doing things the hard way.  I must choose to surround myself with people who will lift me up in prayer, and keep me held accountable for my actions.   I must heed the advice of the counsel that HE has placed in my life.  I must allow HIM to reintroduce HIMSELF to me when I stray away from HIM.  I must choose daily to allow HIM to renew and transform my thoughts daily as follow what HIS best is for my life.


I know that my trust is in HIM, and my safety depends on HIM.  

"Those who trust in themselves are fools, but those who walk in wisdom are kept safe." Proverbs 28:26

I pray today that you will seek HIM to surround you with GODLY counsel.  I pray today that you will allow HIM to lead you and let go of your need to do things the hard way.  I pray today that you will allow HIM to renew and transform your thoughts and let HIM fight with you in your battle against your addiction.  I pray today that you will seek HIM as HE is your healer and redeemer.  I pray today a peace for you that surpasses anything of this world and that can only come from HIM.

Blessings,
Heather