For those of you who don't know me I am in a season of waiting. For those of you who do know me, HELP I am in a season of waiting!!! I'm sure you are probably laughing as you know me, and you know just how much I love waiting. GOD has let me know this morning, that until I stop being impulsive, and stop trying to do things my way, HE will keep me waiting.
Throughout my life I have been the type of person who didn't wait for things to be done for me, instead I always tried to force my hand. In my marriage, in motherhood, in friendships, wherever I "saw" a problem I would try to "fix" it by myself. I know that GOD doesn't want me to "fix" anything, but rather wait, and wait patiently for HIM. Again I am hearing, "be still and know that I am GOD."
As sure as I was that I was waiting patiently, HE quickly let me know that I most certainly was NOT. There are days where I feel like all I do is wait. This particular season of waiting, is really stretching my faith, as I have nothing else to go on but to wait.
This morning, GOD revealed to me that I must learn to discern when the "whispers" I hear are really from HIM. HE has given me steps to follow that were written in the book "Whispers" I know that in order to truly be able to discern whether or not I am hearing HIS voice, I must put these steps into action. I must seek the answers earnestly, with a good and faithful heart. I must not be "impulsive." I must wait "patiently."
The first question I must ask myself is: "Does this align to HIS character?" "Is this truly a message from HIM?" The second question I must ask is: "Is it scriptural?" As my Pastor at church says, "Would Jesus Bless This?" I know that if the answer is no, then I must not listen to the "whisper." I am learning that not only would JESUS bless this, but would JESUS do this?
"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. Let us not become conceited,provoking and envying each other." Galatians 5:22-26
I know that any that contradicts what scripture says, is NOT from GOD. The third thing I must ask is: "Is it wise?" This is where it was revealed to me this morning just how "impulsive" I am, and how I try to force my hand in things that HE has said that I need to "wait." I really struggle with this, as when I want something, I don't want to wait, I want it now. The Pastor that spoke this past weekend revealed exactly the way I am, which is when I pray I say things like, "LORD JESUS please give me patience..... NOW!!!" I know that HE is wanting me to wait for HIM. HE is wanting me to "be still." I know that short of telling me to shut up and sit down, HE is sending me all sorts of reminders that I am NOT in control, thankfully HE is! The fourth thing I must ask is: "Is this something I would normally do?" "Is this something I really feel like I should do, am I trained, educated, is it built in me to do?" I know if the answer is NO, then I must turn away from it. The final thing I am to ask is what I believe is probably the most crucial test of all, " What do the people in whom I trust the most think about it?" I know that GOD has placed some very strong and seasoned CHRIST followers in my inner circle for my own good. I know that they are placed in my life, to keep me from going off the path that HE has chosen for me. I know that in order to seek wise GODLY counsel, I must be forthcoming about everything in detail, so that they will fully understand what I am asking. I know that after I have told them, I must wait patiently for them to respond. I am thankful that I have such people in my inner circle who have saved me countless time's from making "impulsive" mistakes.
"For lack of guidance a nation falls, but victory is won through many advisers." Proverbs 11:14
I am thankful to know that HE has set up these guidelines for me to follow so that I will know how to truly discern HIS "whispers" from the distracting noise that Satan plants in my thoughts. I know that in order to truly hear HIS "whispers" I must ask HIM to give me ears like Samuel's. I know that HE has blessed me with the poem, to use in my own life, to be able to seek HIM earnestly and learn the value and the importance of "be still and know that I am GOD."
"OH! Give me Samuel's ear, An open ear, O LORD, Alive and quick to hear, Each whisper of Thy word, Like HIM to answer Thy call, And to obey Thee first of all"
Today I have learned that by telling myself no, and by letting go of being "impulsive" I know that delayed gratification will bring me an everlasting Joy and Peace. I know that great blessings will come from my obedience.
So today as I continue in my season of "waiting." I will do so with a thankful and grateful heart. Thankful to have a loving Father who loves me too much to let me self-destruct. A Father who loves me too much to let my life just slip away. A Father who loves me so much that HE can, will, and does rescue me every time I slip up. Today I am so thankful for HIS grace, and that HIS mercies are new every morning.
I pray today that if you too are in a season of "waiting," that you will seek to have ears like Samuel. I pray today that you will be able to discern whether or not the "whispers" you hear from HIM are truly HIS words. I pray today that you will stop being "impulsive," and just "be still."
Blessings,
Heather
Friday, August 9, 2013
Thursday, August 8, 2013
deaf
For the past twenty-seven years I have had to rely on wearing hearing aids to "hear." I remember my parents taking me to the ear doctor and him saying that I needed hearing aids to be able to hear. I was mortified as I was already struggling to "fit in" in my 3rd grade class It was already so difficult knowing that I was so different from everyone else in my class, and this was just another level of "different." I remember being teased all of the time, and and how much I missed out on conversations, and activities because I was "deaf."
These days I am thankful that I am able to hear with the help of hearing aids I am thankful that my being "deaf" isn't as horrible as it could be, as with hearing aids I am able to "hear" at a functioning level. I never needed to learn sign language. I am thankful that if a person didn't know I wore hearing aids, I would appear "normal."
As I was reading this morning GOD revealed to me that while I have been blessed by the assistance of hearing aids in being physically "deaf," I needed to understand that in my past I have allowed myself to become "spiritually deaf." HE let me know that all of the times I cried out to HIM, "LORD, why don't you hear me?" HIS response was, "Heather, why aren't you listening to me?" HE let me know that until I was willing to make HIM my number one priority I wasn't going to be able to hear HIM. Eighty-three days ago, in my cries for help, I received HIS message, put HIM first and everything else will fall into place. In choosing to carve out time for HIM everyday HE will show me how to live my life that day, and when I obey HIM, HE will take care of the rest.
As I was reading my book "Whispers" today I started thinking about what putting HIM first really means to me. As I meditated on that thought I read these words: "The goal of the CHRIST following life is to grow to the point that we live in GOD's reality." I know that without HIM leading me, my world is a very dark place. I know that without HIM words harm me, and Satan completely wrecks my complete existence. I know that in order to be truly CHRIST like I must turn my eyes an ears to Heaven and wait for HIM. I must "be still."
I have learned that until I surrendered my life completely to HIM I wasn't able to hear HIM. I know that had I not surrendered HIS Daily Teachings wouldn't have been possible. I know that in order to share HIS Daily Teachings with others I must first dedicate at least one hour a day to reading HIS word, and waiting for HIM to teach, lead, and guide me. I must align my thoughts and actions to HIS will for my life. I know that none of this is possible without my alone time with HIM. I know that when I don't have alone time with HIM, my day is usually a complete train wreck. The Bible teaches us that even JESUS withdrew from the crowds to be alone with HIS Father. JESUS knew that in order to truly hear what HE was being told, HE had to have alone time to be in prayer with HIS Heavenly Father.
"Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed." Mark 1:35
I know in my heart that HE is asking me to do just as JESUS did in making time for HIM in my early mornings. It has been in those times when my children and husband are asleep that HE has taught me some of the greatest lessons I have ever learned. It has been through those times where I have learned what HIS true purpose is for my life. It has been in the early morning hours that I am filled with HIS grace, HIS love, HIS promise, HIS forgiveness, HIS truth, HIS word, HIS hope, without each of those things I wouldn't be where I am today.
I know that HIS Daily Teachings is a result of not allowing myself to be spiritually "deaf" any longer. I know it is because of my daily discipline and obedience that I am able to share HIS words, and HE is able to reach so many lost and broken people through my story. I know that if I ever doubt in whether or not I am doing the "right" thing all I have to do is look at how my story has impacted so many lives.
I have learned that because GOD loves me, HE "whispers" to me daily and it is those "whispers" that give me the courage and confidence to be the wife, mother, and woman of GOD that HE has called me to be. It has been HIS "whispers" that have given me the courage to speak with confidence of who my SAVIOR is, and to not be ashamed of my faith. It has been through HIS "whispers" that I am no longer trapped in being spiritually "deaf" and now because I am hearing HIM, HE is using my life as a living testament of just how AMAZING HIS grace truly is.
I pray today that you will silence your inner "noise," so that you will be able to hear HIS "whispers." I pray today that you will open the door to your heart and let HIM in. I pray today that you will choose to make HIM a priority in your life, and that you will let go of being spiritually "deaf." I pray today that you will receive the freedom to truly live your life through your discipline and obedience for HIM.
Blessings,
Heather
These days I am thankful that I am able to hear with the help of hearing aids I am thankful that my being "deaf" isn't as horrible as it could be, as with hearing aids I am able to "hear" at a functioning level. I never needed to learn sign language. I am thankful that if a person didn't know I wore hearing aids, I would appear "normal."
As I was reading this morning GOD revealed to me that while I have been blessed by the assistance of hearing aids in being physically "deaf," I needed to understand that in my past I have allowed myself to become "spiritually deaf." HE let me know that all of the times I cried out to HIM, "LORD, why don't you hear me?" HIS response was, "Heather, why aren't you listening to me?" HE let me know that until I was willing to make HIM my number one priority I wasn't going to be able to hear HIM. Eighty-three days ago, in my cries for help, I received HIS message, put HIM first and everything else will fall into place. In choosing to carve out time for HIM everyday HE will show me how to live my life that day, and when I obey HIM, HE will take care of the rest.
As I was reading my book "Whispers" today I started thinking about what putting HIM first really means to me. As I meditated on that thought I read these words: "The goal of the CHRIST following life is to grow to the point that we live in GOD's reality." I know that without HIM leading me, my world is a very dark place. I know that without HIM words harm me, and Satan completely wrecks my complete existence. I know that in order to be truly CHRIST like I must turn my eyes an ears to Heaven and wait for HIM. I must "be still."
I have learned that until I surrendered my life completely to HIM I wasn't able to hear HIM. I know that had I not surrendered HIS Daily Teachings wouldn't have been possible. I know that in order to share HIS Daily Teachings with others I must first dedicate at least one hour a day to reading HIS word, and waiting for HIM to teach, lead, and guide me. I must align my thoughts and actions to HIS will for my life. I know that none of this is possible without my alone time with HIM. I know that when I don't have alone time with HIM, my day is usually a complete train wreck. The Bible teaches us that even JESUS withdrew from the crowds to be alone with HIS Father. JESUS knew that in order to truly hear what HE was being told, HE had to have alone time to be in prayer with HIS Heavenly Father.
"Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed." Mark 1:35
I know in my heart that HE is asking me to do just as JESUS did in making time for HIM in my early mornings. It has been in those times when my children and husband are asleep that HE has taught me some of the greatest lessons I have ever learned. It has been through those times where I have learned what HIS true purpose is for my life. It has been in the early morning hours that I am filled with HIS grace, HIS love, HIS promise, HIS forgiveness, HIS truth, HIS word, HIS hope, without each of those things I wouldn't be where I am today.
I know that HIS Daily Teachings is a result of not allowing myself to be spiritually "deaf" any longer. I know it is because of my daily discipline and obedience that I am able to share HIS words, and HE is able to reach so many lost and broken people through my story. I know that if I ever doubt in whether or not I am doing the "right" thing all I have to do is look at how my story has impacted so many lives.
I have learned that because GOD loves me, HE "whispers" to me daily and it is those "whispers" that give me the courage and confidence to be the wife, mother, and woman of GOD that HE has called me to be. It has been HIS "whispers" that have given me the courage to speak with confidence of who my SAVIOR is, and to not be ashamed of my faith. It has been through HIS "whispers" that I am no longer trapped in being spiritually "deaf" and now because I am hearing HIM, HE is using my life as a living testament of just how AMAZING HIS grace truly is.
I pray today that you will silence your inner "noise," so that you will be able to hear HIS "whispers." I pray today that you will open the door to your heart and let HIM in. I pray today that you will choose to make HIM a priority in your life, and that you will let go of being spiritually "deaf." I pray today that you will receive the freedom to truly live your life through your discipline and obedience for HIM.
Blessings,
Heather
Wednesday, August 7, 2013
be still
So I am sensing a theme in my life these days. For starters on Sunday we had a guest speaker at our church and his message was all about Soul Detox and how we need to still our souls. As I sat there and listened to what he was saying, I began to think about who in my life needed to "be still." I thought, "well certainly not me LORD?" "I am in YOUR word every morning, and I'm blogging YOUR Daily Teachings, so obviously it is for me to pray about for someone else, right?"
Hmmm, well the 2nd part of "be still" came yesterday when I started reading my new book titled: "Whispers." Throughout my bible study yesterday HE began to show me all the times that I followed through with HIS "whispers" for my life.
The 3rd part of "be still" came during today's bible study, of which I read: "One of the greatest "whispers" HE says is "be still." OK, so I know what you're thinking, surely I've gotten the message by now right? Hmmmm, have we met? Nope apparently I didn't get the message quite yet, so GOD sends in what I like to call "reinforcements." Today's reinforcement was brought to me by my best friend K. K's sole purpose for her phone call to me I believe was to share how she heeded a "whisper" she heard from GOD. How HE is doing good works in her life, and restoring things in her life that she had lost. As I listened to her describe how HE told her to "be still" and how she obeyed, I told her about the steady theme in my life these days.
As if her phone call wasn't enough for me, the theme continued on through my morning as I "tried" to type my blog. Of course my computer wasn't cooperating, and I began to "lose" it. Before I knew it I was yelling at my kids, my phone, my computer, I wasn't very pleasant to people who had the unfortunate task to call me this morning. I had a very rough start to my day.
Finally, I heard HIM "whisper" "be still" "wait for ME", and so there I was sitting, and waiting for today's HIS Daily Teachings. The first thing HE wanted me to remember is that HIS grace is all sufficient. HE wanted me to let go of my frustration, anger, and anxiety, and to cast all of my fears and anxiety on HIM. Secondly HE wanted me to remember that I am to NEVER think of myself as too seasoned, sophisticated, or smart to do anything less than what HE "whispers" for me to do. I must obey HIM every time!
I am thankful that HE sent HIS HOLY SPIRIT to reside in me to that I am able to receive the "whispers" HE has for my life. I know I shouldn't be asking why isn't GOD speaking to me, but rather, why am I NOT hearing HIM? I know that when I earnestly seek and follow HIS plans for my life, HE can, will, and does bless me for my obedience.
"There is no greater feeling in the world than to hear -- and heed -- GOD'S voice"
I know that it is only a matter of time when I go into "hiding" that I will fall flat on my face, and repent for my sins. I know that when I try and "hide" from HIM and ignore HIS "whispers" for my life, HE will allow things to become unbearable for me. I know that when the circumstances in my life start to shift, I must remember that it is GOD shifting things in my life. I know that with GOD nothing is ever random.
Twice this morning HE sent this message to me through my bible study: "I must open my hands and heart, "be still" and wait for HIS "whispers," instructions. After the second time of reading and journaling that I came across this: "It's the little acts of obedience that invite GOD'S power to fully flow in our lives." In other words, GOD is telling me what I need to do, therefore I must obey HIM, stop "trying" to "hide" (which is foolish as you can't really hide from someone who is all knowing) from HIM, so that I will be able to live a truly peaceful life. I know that HIS "whispers" will always give me a sense of peace. I know this to be true, as HIS promise is to work all things together for my good. I know this to be true, as this is what my story is all about. HIS faithfulness, how HE rescued me, and how HE is refining, and renewing me daily. How I am work in progress and I won't be complete until I go to Heaven.
Today HIS "whispers" came to me with assurance that HE is in control of the circumstances of my life. He let me know that I am NOT alone. EVER! I know that by opening my heart and mind daily to HIS Daily Teachings will allow me to write out my blog. I am learning what it truly means to "be still." I know that with HIM leading me there is absolutely NO need to worry about anything! HE has let me know that HE knows all about me, including every detail and HE loves me no matter what. HE wants me to make HIM my treasure and to know that HE is all I need. HE wants me to stop "trying" to "fix" everything, as I am not the one who needs to worry about it. I must put all of my faith and trust in HIM.
This morning HE revealed to me that the more anxious I let myself become the more destructive I become when I allow myself to be stressed. I am thankful to know that HE is there to rescue me every time from my own demise through my lack of faith in HIM. HE has shown me time and again, (which I am amazed HE hasn't grown tired of me yet) that HE will always love me no matter what!
Today I have learned that it is never to let to change my mind, and to heed HIS word, and pick up my cross and follow HIM.
"Then he called the crowd to him along with his disciples and said: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me." Mark 8:34
I pray today that if you aren't heeding HIS "whispers" you will know it isn't too late to change your mind. I pray today that you will be blessed for your obedience in choosing to follow HIM. I pray today that you be able to live a truly peaceful, joyful, and fulfilling life serving HIM. I pray today is the day your will still your soul when HE says to you, "be still and know that I am GOD"
Blessings,
Heather
Hmmm, well the 2nd part of "be still" came yesterday when I started reading my new book titled: "Whispers." Throughout my bible study yesterday HE began to show me all the times that I followed through with HIS "whispers" for my life.
The 3rd part of "be still" came during today's bible study, of which I read: "One of the greatest "whispers" HE says is "be still." OK, so I know what you're thinking, surely I've gotten the message by now right? Hmmmm, have we met? Nope apparently I didn't get the message quite yet, so GOD sends in what I like to call "reinforcements." Today's reinforcement was brought to me by my best friend K. K's sole purpose for her phone call to me I believe was to share how she heeded a "whisper" she heard from GOD. How HE is doing good works in her life, and restoring things in her life that she had lost. As I listened to her describe how HE told her to "be still" and how she obeyed, I told her about the steady theme in my life these days.
As if her phone call wasn't enough for me, the theme continued on through my morning as I "tried" to type my blog. Of course my computer wasn't cooperating, and I began to "lose" it. Before I knew it I was yelling at my kids, my phone, my computer, I wasn't very pleasant to people who had the unfortunate task to call me this morning. I had a very rough start to my day.
Finally, I heard HIM "whisper" "be still" "wait for ME", and so there I was sitting, and waiting for today's HIS Daily Teachings. The first thing HE wanted me to remember is that HIS grace is all sufficient. HE wanted me to let go of my frustration, anger, and anxiety, and to cast all of my fears and anxiety on HIM. Secondly HE wanted me to remember that I am to NEVER think of myself as too seasoned, sophisticated, or smart to do anything less than what HE "whispers" for me to do. I must obey HIM every time!
I am thankful that HE sent HIS HOLY SPIRIT to reside in me to that I am able to receive the "whispers" HE has for my life. I know I shouldn't be asking why isn't GOD speaking to me, but rather, why am I NOT hearing HIM? I know that when I earnestly seek and follow HIS plans for my life, HE can, will, and does bless me for my obedience.
"There is no greater feeling in the world than to hear -- and heed -- GOD'S voice"
I know that it is only a matter of time when I go into "hiding" that I will fall flat on my face, and repent for my sins. I know that when I try and "hide" from HIM and ignore HIS "whispers" for my life, HE will allow things to become unbearable for me. I know that when the circumstances in my life start to shift, I must remember that it is GOD shifting things in my life. I know that with GOD nothing is ever random.
Twice this morning HE sent this message to me through my bible study: "I must open my hands and heart, "be still" and wait for HIS "whispers," instructions. After the second time of reading and journaling that I came across this: "It's the little acts of obedience that invite GOD'S power to fully flow in our lives." In other words, GOD is telling me what I need to do, therefore I must obey HIM, stop "trying" to "hide" (which is foolish as you can't really hide from someone who is all knowing) from HIM, so that I will be able to live a truly peaceful life. I know that HIS "whispers" will always give me a sense of peace. I know this to be true, as HIS promise is to work all things together for my good. I know this to be true, as this is what my story is all about. HIS faithfulness, how HE rescued me, and how HE is refining, and renewing me daily. How I am work in progress and I won't be complete until I go to Heaven.
Today HIS "whispers" came to me with assurance that HE is in control of the circumstances of my life. He let me know that I am NOT alone. EVER! I know that by opening my heart and mind daily to HIS Daily Teachings will allow me to write out my blog. I am learning what it truly means to "be still." I know that with HIM leading me there is absolutely NO need to worry about anything! HE has let me know that HE knows all about me, including every detail and HE loves me no matter what. HE wants me to make HIM my treasure and to know that HE is all I need. HE wants me to stop "trying" to "fix" everything, as I am not the one who needs to worry about it. I must put all of my faith and trust in HIM.
This morning HE revealed to me that the more anxious I let myself become the more destructive I become when I allow myself to be stressed. I am thankful to know that HE is there to rescue me every time from my own demise through my lack of faith in HIM. HE has shown me time and again, (which I am amazed HE hasn't grown tired of me yet) that HE will always love me no matter what!
Today I have learned that it is never to let to change my mind, and to heed HIS word, and pick up my cross and follow HIM.
"Then he called the crowd to him along with his disciples and said: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me." Mark 8:34
I pray today that if you aren't heeding HIS "whispers" you will know it isn't too late to change your mind. I pray today that you will be blessed for your obedience in choosing to follow HIM. I pray today that you be able to live a truly peaceful, joyful, and fulfilling life serving HIM. I pray today is the day your will still your soul when HE says to you, "be still and know that I am GOD"
Blessings,
Heather
Tuesday, August 6, 2013
whispers
I remember it all like it was just yesterday. I was on my second day at my new job, when I heard the secretary say, "A plane just crashed into the World Trade Center." I was 24 years old, and hadn't a clue of what she was talking about. I didn't even know what the "World Trade Center" was. I remember calling D and him telling me they were leaving work early that day, and that he would see me at home.
At 5pm I left work and picked up our two daughters at daycare and began the long commute home. However, while I was driving I was awestruck at how kind people were being. You see, I didn't realize what the impact of what had happened earlier that day would be in our nation. I was young, naive, and hadn't a clue as to the ways of the world. I was soon to find out.
Six weeks after starting my new job, I quit. Life as I knew it had gotten too hard. I know now it was in true "Heather" fashion that I went into "hiding." I became a stay at home mom once again. With each day passing my depression becoming deeper and deeper.
In December of 2001 I received a call from my Dad saying that my distant cousin had passed away in his early twenties. I wasn't close to him, or to my family, however I "felt" as if though I should be there. I believe now that is when I heard my first "whisper."
I remember the song they played at his funeral, and looking it up online when I got home. "On Eagles Wings," began to play in my mind daily, which then lead to "Here I am LORD" it was the beginning of the "whispers" in my young life.
In the Spring of 2002 I found myself daily saying aloud, "why am I still here?" "Why am I in so much pain?" "Why does it hurt so bad to breathe?" D was beside himself with worry, as his wife of 3.5 years was coming apart at the seams. Two precious little girls, a job that he had a long commute to, scared him. He didn't know from one day to the next what to expect. There were days where I wasn't sure I was going to make it. So I began to plan, and it was during that planning process I heard yet another "whisper," "your girls need you, you were chosen for them."
Three months later D decided it was best to move our little family closer to his work, in hopes that I would "snap" out of whatever I was going through. I believe it was a "whisper" from GOD that D heard. Upon arriving in Hoffman Estates IL our marriage was hanging on by a thread, and D felt it was a good idea for me to start working again. I remember my first commute to my new job, and I remember seeing the sign to what I "thought" was a quaint little church. "Willow Creek Community Church" how cute is that? I began to think, "I bet its a little white church. One month later I would find out just how "quaint, and cute" it wasn't.
It was then I believe D received his 2nd "whisper" and that was to take our daughters to "Sunday School" so we could be deemed as good parents. It was then that our story began, a life of trials, tests, and tears. A story of heartache, births, deaths, and rebirths. A story that would bring us to where we are today 10 years later. A life that we could never have imagined for ourselves. A marriage going into it's 15th year. A family of 4 who has now grown to a family of 7. GOD knew, HE knew it all, and it is because of HIS "whisper's" and us listening to HIM that we survived.
Two years ago GOD knew it was time for a change for our family, and took us from the church that we so desperately wanted to call "home." HE had just moved us further from D's work, but to a home with a yard for our children to play and a neighborhood where we would feel safe to raise our growing family.
One night while driving home from a friends "home party," we missed our exit and ended up in Morton IL. We had only briefly driven through it once before and knew that we were close to home, we just needed to find the right road. It was then that I heard the "whisper," "take this road." This road was to be Jackson St, which is the street where our church resides. I remember first seeing the lights outside the church, all lit up in white, and could see the "bright" blue of the building. Intrigue set in and we couldn't wait to get home and see what this church was all about. The next day which just so happened to be Sunday we attended our 1st experience at Elevate Church in Morton IL. It was on that day that a fire started to ignite inside of me, and I knew I was in for a life change once again.
As each month passed I knew that I was being called for something BIG. However, in true "Heather" fashion I "tried" silencing the promptings I was hearing from HIM. The more I "tried" the more HE spoke. Soon I was meeting several people within our church, and began building relationships with so many people. I was in awe at how many friendships I was forming at our "new" church.
In the Spring of 2012 I remember our Pastor speaking about the importance of serving, I was 4 months pregnant with our 5th child and I was feeling so overwhelmed. I remember going to my Pastor's wife and saying how I felt, and I remember her prayer. This was to be the 1st of many prayers and words of encouragement and affirmation that I would be receiving through Elevate Church.
Eighty-one days ago, I heard yet another "whisper" from HIM, and began the latest chapter of my journey towards wholeness. Through several requests, and promptings HIS Daily Teachings was born. Never would I have imagined that praying to HIM that HE would use me so BIG. I am in awe every single day when GOD shows me just how BIG HE is using me. I am honored to be the one chosen to write HIS Daily Teachings, and I am humbled daily by writing out what I "feel" are some of my most embarrassing, and painful failures of my life. However, I know that HE takes everything I have done, and works it all together for my good.
I have learned the importance of discernment when it comes to "hearing" HIS "whispers." Truthfully I didn't know that they were "whispers" until I began my new bible study "The Power of a Whisper" by Bill Hybels, who was my 1st pastor at "Willow Creek" and who I had ever resonated with his teachings. I have learned that HIS "whispers" aren't always intended to give me comfort, rather confidence to boldly do what HE calls me to do. I know HE doesn't always offer me a way out of the mess I have created myself, but HE does offer to take me through it.
" Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way; walk in it.” Isaiah 30:21
"Hearing a whisper from GOD is one of the most extraordinary privileges in all of life." Bill Hybels
"When people hear from Heaven they are rarely ever the same again." Bill Hybels
This past weekend the message at church solidified that in order for me to "hear" GOD I must silence my internal thoughts, I must be still in my soul.
"He says, “Be still, and know that I am God" Psalm 46:10
I have learned that the "whispers" that GOD says always come with a price tag. The question I must ask myself is, "Do I trust HIM enough to pay the price?" The answer for me is "YES!" Without a doubt, I know and trust that HE knows what is best for me. I know when I say "YES" to GOD, HE is there cheering me on! I have learned that HIS "whispers" are what bring me to my knees and stretch my faith in HIM.
Bill Hybels heard his first "whisper" in 2nd grade through a poem about Samuel:
"OH! give me Samuels ear,
An open ear, O Lord,
Alive and quick to hear,
Each Whisper of Thy Word,
Like him to answer Thy call,
And to obey Thee first of all
"The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace." Romans 8:6
I know that in order to live in peace, I must answer every call to sacrifice that HE makes to me. I must let HIM lead me, and live the life HE has chosen for me. No matter what, or how I may "feel" I must obey. I want to leave this world knowing that I lived fully serving the LORD and I lived faithfully serving the LORD. I know that when I am ready HE can, will, and does speak to me, therefore I must be still.
I pray today that you will ask HIM to give you Samuel's ear, to hear HIS "whispers." I pray today that you will find inner peace that can only come from HIM. I pray today that you will obey the promptings that you receive from HIM. I pray today that my story will be a living testament for you to know the power of HIS "whispers"
Blessings,
Heather
At 5pm I left work and picked up our two daughters at daycare and began the long commute home. However, while I was driving I was awestruck at how kind people were being. You see, I didn't realize what the impact of what had happened earlier that day would be in our nation. I was young, naive, and hadn't a clue as to the ways of the world. I was soon to find out.
Six weeks after starting my new job, I quit. Life as I knew it had gotten too hard. I know now it was in true "Heather" fashion that I went into "hiding." I became a stay at home mom once again. With each day passing my depression becoming deeper and deeper.
In December of 2001 I received a call from my Dad saying that my distant cousin had passed away in his early twenties. I wasn't close to him, or to my family, however I "felt" as if though I should be there. I believe now that is when I heard my first "whisper."
I remember the song they played at his funeral, and looking it up online when I got home. "On Eagles Wings," began to play in my mind daily, which then lead to "Here I am LORD" it was the beginning of the "whispers" in my young life.
In the Spring of 2002 I found myself daily saying aloud, "why am I still here?" "Why am I in so much pain?" "Why does it hurt so bad to breathe?" D was beside himself with worry, as his wife of 3.5 years was coming apart at the seams. Two precious little girls, a job that he had a long commute to, scared him. He didn't know from one day to the next what to expect. There were days where I wasn't sure I was going to make it. So I began to plan, and it was during that planning process I heard yet another "whisper," "your girls need you, you were chosen for them."
Three months later D decided it was best to move our little family closer to his work, in hopes that I would "snap" out of whatever I was going through. I believe it was a "whisper" from GOD that D heard. Upon arriving in Hoffman Estates IL our marriage was hanging on by a thread, and D felt it was a good idea for me to start working again. I remember my first commute to my new job, and I remember seeing the sign to what I "thought" was a quaint little church. "Willow Creek Community Church" how cute is that? I began to think, "I bet its a little white church. One month later I would find out just how "quaint, and cute" it wasn't.
It was then I believe D received his 2nd "whisper" and that was to take our daughters to "Sunday School" so we could be deemed as good parents. It was then that our story began, a life of trials, tests, and tears. A story of heartache, births, deaths, and rebirths. A story that would bring us to where we are today 10 years later. A life that we could never have imagined for ourselves. A marriage going into it's 15th year. A family of 4 who has now grown to a family of 7. GOD knew, HE knew it all, and it is because of HIS "whisper's" and us listening to HIM that we survived.
Two years ago GOD knew it was time for a change for our family, and took us from the church that we so desperately wanted to call "home." HE had just moved us further from D's work, but to a home with a yard for our children to play and a neighborhood where we would feel safe to raise our growing family.
One night while driving home from a friends "home party," we missed our exit and ended up in Morton IL. We had only briefly driven through it once before and knew that we were close to home, we just needed to find the right road. It was then that I heard the "whisper," "take this road." This road was to be Jackson St, which is the street where our church resides. I remember first seeing the lights outside the church, all lit up in white, and could see the "bright" blue of the building. Intrigue set in and we couldn't wait to get home and see what this church was all about. The next day which just so happened to be Sunday we attended our 1st experience at Elevate Church in Morton IL. It was on that day that a fire started to ignite inside of me, and I knew I was in for a life change once again.
As each month passed I knew that I was being called for something BIG. However, in true "Heather" fashion I "tried" silencing the promptings I was hearing from HIM. The more I "tried" the more HE spoke. Soon I was meeting several people within our church, and began building relationships with so many people. I was in awe at how many friendships I was forming at our "new" church.
In the Spring of 2012 I remember our Pastor speaking about the importance of serving, I was 4 months pregnant with our 5th child and I was feeling so overwhelmed. I remember going to my Pastor's wife and saying how I felt, and I remember her prayer. This was to be the 1st of many prayers and words of encouragement and affirmation that I would be receiving through Elevate Church.
Eighty-one days ago, I heard yet another "whisper" from HIM, and began the latest chapter of my journey towards wholeness. Through several requests, and promptings HIS Daily Teachings was born. Never would I have imagined that praying to HIM that HE would use me so BIG. I am in awe every single day when GOD shows me just how BIG HE is using me. I am honored to be the one chosen to write HIS Daily Teachings, and I am humbled daily by writing out what I "feel" are some of my most embarrassing, and painful failures of my life. However, I know that HE takes everything I have done, and works it all together for my good.
I have learned the importance of discernment when it comes to "hearing" HIS "whispers." Truthfully I didn't know that they were "whispers" until I began my new bible study "The Power of a Whisper" by Bill Hybels, who was my 1st pastor at "Willow Creek" and who I had ever resonated with his teachings. I have learned that HIS "whispers" aren't always intended to give me comfort, rather confidence to boldly do what HE calls me to do. I know HE doesn't always offer me a way out of the mess I have created myself, but HE does offer to take me through it.
" Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way; walk in it.” Isaiah 30:21
"Hearing a whisper from GOD is one of the most extraordinary privileges in all of life." Bill Hybels
"When people hear from Heaven they are rarely ever the same again." Bill Hybels
This past weekend the message at church solidified that in order for me to "hear" GOD I must silence my internal thoughts, I must be still in my soul.
"He says, “Be still, and know that I am God" Psalm 46:10
I have learned that the "whispers" that GOD says always come with a price tag. The question I must ask myself is, "Do I trust HIM enough to pay the price?" The answer for me is "YES!" Without a doubt, I know and trust that HE knows what is best for me. I know when I say "YES" to GOD, HE is there cheering me on! I have learned that HIS "whispers" are what bring me to my knees and stretch my faith in HIM.
Bill Hybels heard his first "whisper" in 2nd grade through a poem about Samuel:
"OH! give me Samuels ear,
An open ear, O Lord,
Alive and quick to hear,
Each Whisper of Thy Word,
Like him to answer Thy call,
And to obey Thee first of all
"The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace." Romans 8:6
I know that in order to live in peace, I must answer every call to sacrifice that HE makes to me. I must let HIM lead me, and live the life HE has chosen for me. No matter what, or how I may "feel" I must obey. I want to leave this world knowing that I lived fully serving the LORD and I lived faithfully serving the LORD. I know that when I am ready HE can, will, and does speak to me, therefore I must be still.
I pray today that you will ask HIM to give you Samuel's ear, to hear HIS "whispers." I pray today that you will find inner peace that can only come from HIM. I pray today that you will obey the promptings that you receive from HIM. I pray today that my story will be a living testament for you to know the power of HIS "whispers"
Blessings,
Heather
Monday, August 5, 2013
authentic
As I logged onto blogger today to write today's post I checked the Stats. The stats will tell me how many page views, and what sources were used to read my blog, and what countries the people are from. To this date there have been 1,108 page views from 7 different countries. HIS Daily Teachings has become worldwide. I am in awe that so many are reading HIS Daily Teachings. I am honored that HE has chosen me to reach so many people in such a short amount of time. Never would I have imagined that I would be used in such a BIG way. I am humbled, and honored daily through writing HIS Daily Teachings.
I finished reading "Living Beyond Your Feelings" this morning, I began to ask GOD what I should write about for today's blog. As I started thinking about how much this book has affected my life, GOD revealed to me that in order for me to move forward in my walk with HIM, I needed to understand how HE sees me.
HE wanted me to see myself through the people who know me and who could tell me what kind of friend I am to them. So after several minutes of refusal, I gave in, and posted it on FB, what kind of friend am I to you? The responses were overwhelming. Words of affirmation such as: loving, giving, supportive, GODLY (wow) comforting, trustworthy, and sincere were filling my heart with each response. I can honestly say I had no idea. All I know is that I strive to be more CHRIST like with each day passing, and I am honored to have so many wonderful people in my life as my friends.
I could have only imagined when I was a little girl to have as many wonderful friends as I do today. I didn't grow up with very many friends, as I was very deceiving to everyone I came in contact with. I was even deceiving myself and didn't even know it. I was raised by deceitful people, so I obviously didn't have the best role models. I struggled immensely with friendships growing up, and it wasn't until I was in my late twenty's did I truly understand what it meant to be authentic.
These days all you will get from me is my authentic self. I am a CHRIST follower, unashamed, will shout it from the rooftops wherever I go. I have a feisty, fiery personality, and I am not afraid to speak my mind when I feel strongly about something. I love my family fiercely and will do anything to protect them from harm. I make mistakes, and mess up daily, however I am saved. I go to sleep every night knowing that GOD is with me, and that HIS mercies are new every morning.
I made a vow to myself and to GOD that I would no longer "hide" from anyone. I would reveal my true-self to everyone I come in contact with. I would create, and maintain loving, and intentional relationships. I vowed I would have a heart of compassion for the hurting, especially for the people who feel undeserving. I vowed I wouldn't judge anyone, rather love them through their flaws and all.
I am thankful for this life of trials and storms that I have lived through, because without them I wouldn't have the Faith that I do today. I know that no matter what I may come up against in my daily walk that HE is there with me. I know and believe with all of my heart and soul that I am loved unconditionally. I am blessed to have this life, this truly amazing and crazy life. I am thankful to be me.
I pray today that if you are struggling to be you, that you know you are not alone. HE understands, and HE is waiting to reveal to you, why HE made you just the way you are! I pray today that you will have the courage to seek HIM, and allow HIM to transform and renew your mind and allow HIM to show you your life through HIS eyes. I pray today that if you are hurting, that you will "hold fast" as help is on the way.
Blessings,
Heather
I finished reading "Living Beyond Your Feelings" this morning, I began to ask GOD what I should write about for today's blog. As I started thinking about how much this book has affected my life, GOD revealed to me that in order for me to move forward in my walk with HIM, I needed to understand how HE sees me.
HE wanted me to see myself through the people who know me and who could tell me what kind of friend I am to them. So after several minutes of refusal, I gave in, and posted it on FB, what kind of friend am I to you? The responses were overwhelming. Words of affirmation such as: loving, giving, supportive, GODLY (wow) comforting, trustworthy, and sincere were filling my heart with each response. I can honestly say I had no idea. All I know is that I strive to be more CHRIST like with each day passing, and I am honored to have so many wonderful people in my life as my friends.
I could have only imagined when I was a little girl to have as many wonderful friends as I do today. I didn't grow up with very many friends, as I was very deceiving to everyone I came in contact with. I was even deceiving myself and didn't even know it. I was raised by deceitful people, so I obviously didn't have the best role models. I struggled immensely with friendships growing up, and it wasn't until I was in my late twenty's did I truly understand what it meant to be authentic.
These days all you will get from me is my authentic self. I am a CHRIST follower, unashamed, will shout it from the rooftops wherever I go. I have a feisty, fiery personality, and I am not afraid to speak my mind when I feel strongly about something. I love my family fiercely and will do anything to protect them from harm. I make mistakes, and mess up daily, however I am saved. I go to sleep every night knowing that GOD is with me, and that HIS mercies are new every morning.
I made a vow to myself and to GOD that I would no longer "hide" from anyone. I would reveal my true-self to everyone I come in contact with. I would create, and maintain loving, and intentional relationships. I vowed I would have a heart of compassion for the hurting, especially for the people who feel undeserving. I vowed I wouldn't judge anyone, rather love them through their flaws and all.
I am thankful for this life of trials and storms that I have lived through, because without them I wouldn't have the Faith that I do today. I know that no matter what I may come up against in my daily walk that HE is there with me. I know and believe with all of my heart and soul that I am loved unconditionally. I am blessed to have this life, this truly amazing and crazy life. I am thankful to be me.
I pray today that if you are struggling to be you, that you know you are not alone. HE understands, and HE is waiting to reveal to you, why HE made you just the way you are! I pray today that you will have the courage to seek HIM, and allow HIM to transform and renew your mind and allow HIM to show you your life through HIS eyes. I pray today that if you are hurting, that you will "hold fast" as help is on the way.
Blessings,
Heather
Sunday, August 4, 2013
healthy living
In the past 5 years of my life, I believe GOD has been trying to get me to focus on healthy living. HE has sent warning signs to me that things were not right within my body. I however in my own selfishness said, "oh well, I'm going to eat this candy bar, and drink this soda, and eat pizza everyday, and NOT exercise, all because I don't want to! I was so focused on meeting my every "want," and failing to see what I truly needed.
The first sign of trouble I received was during my pregnancy with my 1st son. In my eighth month I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes. I naturally was "clueless" as to how this could happen to me. In all of my "infinite" wisdom, I had made the choice to eat Oreo's and drink soda in the 1st 7 months of my pregnancy. I NEVER told myself no, and didn't even consider how it would affect my son. I quickly learned that the instant gratification wasn't worth it. I learned the hard way what happens when I don't eat right, and take care of myself. I learned the hard way what happens when I ignore the warning signs GOD has sent for me.
One of the consequences I suffered from my foolishness was I had to now do twice daily injections of insulin. I also had to log all of my food, and call my dietitian daily. I was now being held accountable for every bite of food, or drink that went into my body. I also had to check my blood sugar up to 8 times a day. My fingers were so sore, and I cried every time I had to check my blood sugar. I had to meet with my dietitian twice a week, and I had to go to my doctors office for non-stress tests 3 times a week. I failed every one of those non-stress tests, and I had to take myself and my then 3 children to the hospital to see the specialists. Now if that wasn't enough to do, I also had to see my Maternal Fetal Doctor in between all of the doctor and hospital life.
The final straw was when they said that my son was in danger. They said that they need to monitor him closely. You see I had only felt him move twice in my whole pregnancy. I was so busy taking care of my daughter who was sick for 9 months, that I had forgotten I was pregnant. I ignored all of the warning signs that something was seriously wrong. Two weeks before I gave birth to him I had to have an amniocentesis.
I remember the morning of the test and being so scared. D held my hand as they needle went in. I remember laying there thinking, "why GOD why didn't I listen?" The test confirmed that my son wasn't ready to be born yet, but it had become a battle between doctors about what was best for my son. You see earlier in the week they had determined that the reason he wasn't moving, was because he was completely wrapped up in his cord. from his feet, to his torso, and around his shoulders and neck.
I now know that it is by the grace of GOD that he survived. When I found out I was expecting after my 1st son was born, I remembered everything I went through with him, and I vowed I wouldn't make the same mistake twice. My 2nd son was an even harder pregnancy, but not because of anything I did. I ate right got plenty of rest, and took good care of myself. However, I didn't produce enough progesterone and had to receive twice weekly injections from D. My pregnancy was rough, but I at least had the peace in knowing that I didn't cause what was happening. I knew that GOD was in control and that HE work out everything for my good.
I learned a valuable lesson between the births of my two sons, and that was I can't expect for there to be any consequences when choosing to NOT follow HIS plans for my life. I must choose to be healthy. I know I should work out at the gym at least 3 days a week. I know that when I do, I feel so much better. In exercising , eating right, and drinking plenty of water, I know that HE will provide everything I need when I do everything HE tells me to do.
"Millions of people simply don't take good care of themselves."
I know that I must not be a person who puts all of my time and energy into everything else, and put my health on the back burner. This not only includes my physical health, but my mental health as well. I know that I can't expect to spread myself so thin in trying to do everything for everyone else, and not suffer the consequences of it.
By the Summer of 2005 I had been working out for 6 months, and wasn't seeing any improvements. Desperate I sought help from my wonderful Chiropractor. He told me exactly what I needed to do, and how I needed to do it. It was grueling, but for the next 7 months I had lost almost 35 lbs, gained muscle, and looked and felt great. I had choose the lifestyle of healthy living.
In those 7 months I learned the valuable lesson of shedding the excess stress in my life so that I would have enough energy to truly live a healthy life. Sadly, in my selfishness, I didn't keep up with what I knew I needed to do. Instead I took the "easy" way out, and I suffered immensely from the consequences. I now have to work twice as hard as then, I can not allow myself to have any caffeine, which means NO chocolate. I absolutely cannot eat after 7pm at night, otherwise in the morning I will be in immense pain. I must drink plenty of water, otherwise I will get dizzy, the list goes on and on. I know that because I chose to ignore all the warning signs that GOD sent me, I now have to live a very disciplined lifestyle, in order to be able to live my life.
Today I am starting back on my vegan eating plan, in hopes of getting my blood sugar under control once again. I am working on total health once again, and it's all because I chose instant gratification over discipline. I am learning the hard way of what NOT to do.
Joyce Meyer defines wisdom as this: "doing now what you will be satisfied with later on." I am learning this the hard way. I am learning that I must choose to do things HIS way, and abandon my incessant need to do things "my way" as "my way" isn't healthy living. I must praise HIM for giving me the ability, and supplying me with all the strength I am needing to achieve healthy living.
I know that I can't expect to just do what I want knowing full well it isn't good for me. I most certainly cannot act surprised when there are consequences to my choices. I most definitely cannot be all emotional and cry about how unfair my life is. I must realize that the consequences I am living with are a direct result of my selfish need for instant gratification.
I know that in order to achieve healthy living, I must tell myself NO! In telling myself NO, I will be following HIS plans for my life. I will be living my life the way that HE intended. I know that HE will supply me with all the energy and strength that I need to live every moment of my life.
If I have learned anything in my journey of healthy living is this: when I exercise, eat right, drink my water, rest, and learn to NOT sweat the small stuff, my life is much more manageable and enjoyable. In my journey I have also learned that laughter truly is the best medicine. I do believe this is why I am a Mama to five really funny children. They all make me laugh more than anyone else I know.
"A cheerful heart is good medicine" Proverbs 17:22
I am so thankful that GOD knew because of my pain and suffering in the 1st half of my life, that HE would bless me with more joy and blessings than I could ever imagine. HE chose me to be a Mama to five of HIS amazing children, all who were sent here to teach me another lesson with HIS amazing grace.
I pray today that you will heed the "warning signs" that HE is sending you. I pray today that you will take the necessary steps in achieving the lifestyle of healthy living. I pray today that you will seek HIS wisdom and HIS guidance and ask for HIM to give you all of the energy and strength that you will need. I pray today that you will tell yourself NO and say YES to HIM!
Blessings,
Heather
The first sign of trouble I received was during my pregnancy with my 1st son. In my eighth month I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes. I naturally was "clueless" as to how this could happen to me. In all of my "infinite" wisdom, I had made the choice to eat Oreo's and drink soda in the 1st 7 months of my pregnancy. I NEVER told myself no, and didn't even consider how it would affect my son. I quickly learned that the instant gratification wasn't worth it. I learned the hard way what happens when I don't eat right, and take care of myself. I learned the hard way what happens when I ignore the warning signs GOD has sent for me.
One of the consequences I suffered from my foolishness was I had to now do twice daily injections of insulin. I also had to log all of my food, and call my dietitian daily. I was now being held accountable for every bite of food, or drink that went into my body. I also had to check my blood sugar up to 8 times a day. My fingers were so sore, and I cried every time I had to check my blood sugar. I had to meet with my dietitian twice a week, and I had to go to my doctors office for non-stress tests 3 times a week. I failed every one of those non-stress tests, and I had to take myself and my then 3 children to the hospital to see the specialists. Now if that wasn't enough to do, I also had to see my Maternal Fetal Doctor in between all of the doctor and hospital life.
The final straw was when they said that my son was in danger. They said that they need to monitor him closely. You see I had only felt him move twice in my whole pregnancy. I was so busy taking care of my daughter who was sick for 9 months, that I had forgotten I was pregnant. I ignored all of the warning signs that something was seriously wrong. Two weeks before I gave birth to him I had to have an amniocentesis.
I remember the morning of the test and being so scared. D held my hand as they needle went in. I remember laying there thinking, "why GOD why didn't I listen?" The test confirmed that my son wasn't ready to be born yet, but it had become a battle between doctors about what was best for my son. You see earlier in the week they had determined that the reason he wasn't moving, was because he was completely wrapped up in his cord. from his feet, to his torso, and around his shoulders and neck.
I now know that it is by the grace of GOD that he survived. When I found out I was expecting after my 1st son was born, I remembered everything I went through with him, and I vowed I wouldn't make the same mistake twice. My 2nd son was an even harder pregnancy, but not because of anything I did. I ate right got plenty of rest, and took good care of myself. However, I didn't produce enough progesterone and had to receive twice weekly injections from D. My pregnancy was rough, but I at least had the peace in knowing that I didn't cause what was happening. I knew that GOD was in control and that HE work out everything for my good.
I learned a valuable lesson between the births of my two sons, and that was I can't expect for there to be any consequences when choosing to NOT follow HIS plans for my life. I must choose to be healthy. I know I should work out at the gym at least 3 days a week. I know that when I do, I feel so much better. In exercising , eating right, and drinking plenty of water, I know that HE will provide everything I need when I do everything HE tells me to do.
"Millions of people simply don't take good care of themselves."
I know that I must not be a person who puts all of my time and energy into everything else, and put my health on the back burner. This not only includes my physical health, but my mental health as well. I know that I can't expect to spread myself so thin in trying to do everything for everyone else, and not suffer the consequences of it.
By the Summer of 2005 I had been working out for 6 months, and wasn't seeing any improvements. Desperate I sought help from my wonderful Chiropractor. He told me exactly what I needed to do, and how I needed to do it. It was grueling, but for the next 7 months I had lost almost 35 lbs, gained muscle, and looked and felt great. I had choose the lifestyle of healthy living.
In those 7 months I learned the valuable lesson of shedding the excess stress in my life so that I would have enough energy to truly live a healthy life. Sadly, in my selfishness, I didn't keep up with what I knew I needed to do. Instead I took the "easy" way out, and I suffered immensely from the consequences. I now have to work twice as hard as then, I can not allow myself to have any caffeine, which means NO chocolate. I absolutely cannot eat after 7pm at night, otherwise in the morning I will be in immense pain. I must drink plenty of water, otherwise I will get dizzy, the list goes on and on. I know that because I chose to ignore all the warning signs that GOD sent me, I now have to live a very disciplined lifestyle, in order to be able to live my life.
Today I am starting back on my vegan eating plan, in hopes of getting my blood sugar under control once again. I am working on total health once again, and it's all because I chose instant gratification over discipline. I am learning the hard way of what NOT to do.
Joyce Meyer defines wisdom as this: "doing now what you will be satisfied with later on." I am learning this the hard way. I am learning that I must choose to do things HIS way, and abandon my incessant need to do things "my way" as "my way" isn't healthy living. I must praise HIM for giving me the ability, and supplying me with all the strength I am needing to achieve healthy living.
I know that I can't expect to just do what I want knowing full well it isn't good for me. I most certainly cannot act surprised when there are consequences to my choices. I most definitely cannot be all emotional and cry about how unfair my life is. I must realize that the consequences I am living with are a direct result of my selfish need for instant gratification.
I know that in order to achieve healthy living, I must tell myself NO! In telling myself NO, I will be following HIS plans for my life. I will be living my life the way that HE intended. I know that HE will supply me with all the energy and strength that I need to live every moment of my life.
If I have learned anything in my journey of healthy living is this: when I exercise, eat right, drink my water, rest, and learn to NOT sweat the small stuff, my life is much more manageable and enjoyable. In my journey I have also learned that laughter truly is the best medicine. I do believe this is why I am a Mama to five really funny children. They all make me laugh more than anyone else I know.
"A cheerful heart is good medicine" Proverbs 17:22
I am so thankful that GOD knew because of my pain and suffering in the 1st half of my life, that HE would bless me with more joy and blessings than I could ever imagine. HE chose me to be a Mama to five of HIS amazing children, all who were sent here to teach me another lesson with HIS amazing grace.
I pray today that you will heed the "warning signs" that HE is sending you. I pray today that you will take the necessary steps in achieving the lifestyle of healthy living. I pray today that you will seek HIS wisdom and HIS guidance and ask for HIM to give you all of the energy and strength that you will need. I pray today that you will tell yourself NO and say YES to HIM!
Blessings,
Heather
Saturday, August 3, 2013
quickly and freely
I am finding myself at a loss for words again, as GOD is revealing to me that I need to do some more work on the unforgiveness that I have been harboring in my heart. This frustrates me, because I "feel" as if though I've already worked out everything that I possibly can. However, because I trust HIM completely I know that HE is doing this for my own good.
As I was reading this morning a line to one of my favorite songs came to mind, "Nothing can separate even if I ran away your love never fails" Your Love Never Fails by Jesus Culture. I know that no matter how far I try and run away from what HE is wanting me to do, HE is always there waiting for me to return. HE is loving me unconditionally and waiting for me to surrender so HE can make all things work together for my own good.
GOD is letting me know that by harboring bitterness in my heart towards people who I feel have offended or hurt me, is only hurting me. HE is letting me know that by keeping in bondage with bitterness I am only distancing myself from HIM, and turning away from HIS blessings that HE wants to pour over my life.
What's even more alarming to me this morning, is that the bitterness I am harboring towards myself, in feeling inadequate with what I "feel" I should be doing, isn't the reality of my life. I know that I can get so wrapped up in my "feelings" that I fail to see what is really go on. I fail to see what HE is doing in my life. I know that the more I try to hold onto doing things "my way," the bigger the mess I create for myself.
HIS Daily Teaching today is about needing to forgive quickly and freely. I must remember that HE wants to forgive and release the bitterness I am harboring in my heart. I must NEVER forget that HIS mercies are new every morning. I must praise HIM for HIS mercy.
"Mercy is the most beautiful gift we can give or receive."
"Mercy cannot be earned and is not deserved."
I am grateful that I don't ever have to worry about earning HIS unfailing love, I am thankful that I can never do enough to receive HIS mercy. I am grateful that I am accepted and supported fully by HIM. I am thankful that HE makes all things work together for my own good. I am thankful that HE takes all my hurts and pains, and uses it for HIS glory.
I am learning that mercy is about looking beyond the sin, and seeing the sinner in HIS eyes. Mercy is about understanding how or why a sin has been committed. Mercy teaches me to hate the sin and NOT the sinner.
"Many times people do a hurtful thing and don't even know why they are do it, or they may not realize they are doing it."
I know that I lash out at other's because of my own personal pain. I know that from an early age I learned to hurt people before they could ever be given the chance to hurt me. I was reminded that with Joyce Meyer's words this morning: " I was hurt so badly in my childhood that I in turn frequently hurt others with my harsh words and attitudes." I know that through my suffering and pain, I lashed out at the people who had genuine hearts towards me, and I hurt them deeply. I know that I was so blinded by rage, and fear that I couldn't see all the people that HE was placing in my life to help "save" me.
I know that I didn't even realize how harsh and mean spirited I had become because of my life had always been so painful and hard. GOD has let me know that HE saw the broken little girl that I was, and is letting me know now that HE wants to heal me of those hurts and pains that I am still harboring in my heart. Even pains that I "thought" I had dealt with. I am learning that with every step of my journey HE will take me through every level of pain until I have dealt with it all and given all of it to HIM.
"Hurting people hurt people."
I know several people in my life that no matter how nice people are to them, they always find a reason to be unkind to others. With every chance they are given they talk about how unfair their lives are, and how unjustly they have been treated. They are "hell" bent on getting revenge, and fail to see how much of a foothold Satan has in their lives. I have learned in my life through each stage of forgiveness that HE has taken me through, that when I forgive I am keeping Satan from gaining an advantage over me.
"Anyone you forgive, I also forgive. And what I have forgiven—if there was anything to forgive—I have forgiven in the sight of Christ for your sake, in order that Satan might not outwit us. For we are not unaware of his schemes." 2 Corinthians 2:10-11
HE is teaching me that my bitterness is a direct result of the unforgiveness I am harboring in my heart. I am learning that I am not the only one directly affected by the bitterness in my heart. HE has revealed to me that HIS HOLY SPIRIT is also affected. Therefore, I must obey HIM, and forgive quickly and freely.
"See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many." Hebrews 12:15
"And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice." Ephesians 4:30-31
HE is letting me know that in order to live in total freedom I must don't dwell on how I have been offended. I know that when I am offended I tend to replay the offense over and over in my mind. I know that the more I replay it the more angry, and bitter I become. I know that if I am not careful I will end up blowing it all out of proportion. I must not let any little offenses pile up inside of me. I must choose to forgive quickly and freely.
Long before I even realized GOD knew the husband I would one day have. HE knew that my husband would be D. I have been with D for 18 years of my life now, and I have just now realized who D really is. These words that Joyce wrote really spoke to my heart: " I had been given a wonderful Godly man but I did not know how to appreciate the gift GOD had given me because I stored up little offenses and refused to let them go."
Oh my how the words rang so true to my heart. I know that D has truly been to "hell and back" with me, and through it all has stayed by my side. Holding my hand every step of the way. When most men would run, he stayed, and fought the good fight with me. Until now I have failed to see just how much I have depended on him to see me through the storms of my life. GOD has let me know that D is my soft place to fall, but that my strength comes from HIM. I am so thankful that GOD made D such a strong, fierce, always in my corner, protector, my best friend, my husband, and Daddy to my children. I am thankful that through all of my flaws and inability to forgive, he has forgiven me, and has shown me what true love really means.
I am learning that the longer I refuse to let go to the feelings of bitterness and forgive, worse things will come my way.
"To be wronged is nothing unless you continue to remember it." Confucius
GOD is asking me to rid myself of negative emotions, as they only fuel my bitterness even further. I am learning that the quicker I let go... and let GOD the better off I will be. I know in order to be truly free from bitterness in my heart, I must stop talking about my hurts so I can truly forgive those who hurt me. I know that the more I talk about my hurts, the more Satan keeps a stronghold in my life.
If I have learned anything in my 10 years of walking with JESUS it is this: I spent the first half of my life walking through "hell" due to circumstances beyond my control. However, where I am now, I am strong enough to say NO to the temptations that arise inside of me for the need for revenge for the people who have offended me. I know that my life is much easier lived when I stop doing things, "my way," and let HIM teach, lead, and guide me every single moment of my life.
The hardest thing I have had to learn is this: forgiving is hard. It is a choice, one that I must make quickly and freely.
" For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins."
Matthew 6:14-15
Today I am choosing to no longer allow the unforgiveness in my heart to keep me separated from HIM anymore. I have asked HIM to reveal to me the areas I need to forgive, and I am starting to take the necessary steps towards forgiveness so HE can continue to heal my heart.
I pray today that if you harboring bitterness in your heart, that you will turn to HIM and ask HIM to help you forgive those who have hurt you. I pray today that you will seek HIM earnestly and ask HIM to help you live your life today. I pray today that you will receive freedom through HIM to truly live your life. I pray today that you will choose to forgive quickly and freely.
Blessings,
Heather
As I was reading this morning a line to one of my favorite songs came to mind, "Nothing can separate even if I ran away your love never fails" Your Love Never Fails by Jesus Culture. I know that no matter how far I try and run away from what HE is wanting me to do, HE is always there waiting for me to return. HE is loving me unconditionally and waiting for me to surrender so HE can make all things work together for my own good.
GOD is letting me know that by harboring bitterness in my heart towards people who I feel have offended or hurt me, is only hurting me. HE is letting me know that by keeping in bondage with bitterness I am only distancing myself from HIM, and turning away from HIS blessings that HE wants to pour over my life.
What's even more alarming to me this morning, is that the bitterness I am harboring towards myself, in feeling inadequate with what I "feel" I should be doing, isn't the reality of my life. I know that I can get so wrapped up in my "feelings" that I fail to see what is really go on. I fail to see what HE is doing in my life. I know that the more I try to hold onto doing things "my way," the bigger the mess I create for myself.
HIS Daily Teaching today is about needing to forgive quickly and freely. I must remember that HE wants to forgive and release the bitterness I am harboring in my heart. I must NEVER forget that HIS mercies are new every morning. I must praise HIM for HIS mercy.
"Mercy is the most beautiful gift we can give or receive."
"Mercy cannot be earned and is not deserved."
I am grateful that I don't ever have to worry about earning HIS unfailing love, I am thankful that I can never do enough to receive HIS mercy. I am grateful that I am accepted and supported fully by HIM. I am thankful that HE makes all things work together for my own good. I am thankful that HE takes all my hurts and pains, and uses it for HIS glory.
I am learning that mercy is about looking beyond the sin, and seeing the sinner in HIS eyes. Mercy is about understanding how or why a sin has been committed. Mercy teaches me to hate the sin and NOT the sinner.
"Many times people do a hurtful thing and don't even know why they are do it, or they may not realize they are doing it."
I know that I lash out at other's because of my own personal pain. I know that from an early age I learned to hurt people before they could ever be given the chance to hurt me. I was reminded that with Joyce Meyer's words this morning: " I was hurt so badly in my childhood that I in turn frequently hurt others with my harsh words and attitudes." I know that through my suffering and pain, I lashed out at the people who had genuine hearts towards me, and I hurt them deeply. I know that I was so blinded by rage, and fear that I couldn't see all the people that HE was placing in my life to help "save" me.
I know that I didn't even realize how harsh and mean spirited I had become because of my life had always been so painful and hard. GOD has let me know that HE saw the broken little girl that I was, and is letting me know now that HE wants to heal me of those hurts and pains that I am still harboring in my heart. Even pains that I "thought" I had dealt with. I am learning that with every step of my journey HE will take me through every level of pain until I have dealt with it all and given all of it to HIM.
"Hurting people hurt people."
I know several people in my life that no matter how nice people are to them, they always find a reason to be unkind to others. With every chance they are given they talk about how unfair their lives are, and how unjustly they have been treated. They are "hell" bent on getting revenge, and fail to see how much of a foothold Satan has in their lives. I have learned in my life through each stage of forgiveness that HE has taken me through, that when I forgive I am keeping Satan from gaining an advantage over me.
"Anyone you forgive, I also forgive. And what I have forgiven—if there was anything to forgive—I have forgiven in the sight of Christ for your sake, in order that Satan might not outwit us. For we are not unaware of his schemes." 2 Corinthians 2:10-11
HE is teaching me that my bitterness is a direct result of the unforgiveness I am harboring in my heart. I am learning that I am not the only one directly affected by the bitterness in my heart. HE has revealed to me that HIS HOLY SPIRIT is also affected. Therefore, I must obey HIM, and forgive quickly and freely.
"See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many." Hebrews 12:15
"And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice." Ephesians 4:30-31
HE is letting me know that in order to live in total freedom I must don't dwell on how I have been offended. I know that when I am offended I tend to replay the offense over and over in my mind. I know that the more I replay it the more angry, and bitter I become. I know that if I am not careful I will end up blowing it all out of proportion. I must not let any little offenses pile up inside of me. I must choose to forgive quickly and freely.
Long before I even realized GOD knew the husband I would one day have. HE knew that my husband would be D. I have been with D for 18 years of my life now, and I have just now realized who D really is. These words that Joyce wrote really spoke to my heart: " I had been given a wonderful Godly man but I did not know how to appreciate the gift GOD had given me because I stored up little offenses and refused to let them go."
Oh my how the words rang so true to my heart. I know that D has truly been to "hell and back" with me, and through it all has stayed by my side. Holding my hand every step of the way. When most men would run, he stayed, and fought the good fight with me. Until now I have failed to see just how much I have depended on him to see me through the storms of my life. GOD has let me know that D is my soft place to fall, but that my strength comes from HIM. I am so thankful that GOD made D such a strong, fierce, always in my corner, protector, my best friend, my husband, and Daddy to my children. I am thankful that through all of my flaws and inability to forgive, he has forgiven me, and has shown me what true love really means.
I am learning that the longer I refuse to let go to the feelings of bitterness and forgive, worse things will come my way.
"To be wronged is nothing unless you continue to remember it." Confucius
GOD is asking me to rid myself of negative emotions, as they only fuel my bitterness even further. I am learning that the quicker I let go... and let GOD the better off I will be. I know in order to be truly free from bitterness in my heart, I must stop talking about my hurts so I can truly forgive those who hurt me. I know that the more I talk about my hurts, the more Satan keeps a stronghold in my life.
If I have learned anything in my 10 years of walking with JESUS it is this: I spent the first half of my life walking through "hell" due to circumstances beyond my control. However, where I am now, I am strong enough to say NO to the temptations that arise inside of me for the need for revenge for the people who have offended me. I know that my life is much easier lived when I stop doing things, "my way," and let HIM teach, lead, and guide me every single moment of my life.
The hardest thing I have had to learn is this: forgiving is hard. It is a choice, one that I must make quickly and freely.
" For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins."
Matthew 6:14-15
Today I am choosing to no longer allow the unforgiveness in my heart to keep me separated from HIM anymore. I have asked HIM to reveal to me the areas I need to forgive, and I am starting to take the necessary steps towards forgiveness so HE can continue to heal my heart.
I pray today that if you harboring bitterness in your heart, that you will turn to HIM and ask HIM to help you forgive those who have hurt you. I pray today that you will seek HIM earnestly and ask HIM to help you live your life today. I pray today that you will receive freedom through HIM to truly live your life. I pray today that you will choose to forgive quickly and freely.
Blessings,
Heather
Friday, August 2, 2013
forgiven...
Throughout my daily walk with JESUS, HE is revealing to me how much I don't realize that I'm forgiven. So often in my humanness I try and pay my debt's to be forgiven by HIM. HE revealed to me this morning, that it's silly and a waste of time for me to try and pay my debts as they have already been paid by HIM.
Forgiveness is something that I struggle with. Not only for myself, but for others who I feel have wronged me or someone I care about. So often I get wrapped up in my emotions and let them lead me to my decisions. I know that by allowing myself to be emotionally lead I am missing out GOD's plan and purpose for my life. I know that because I am forgiven, HE is asking me to forgive others, no matter what they have done or said to me.
I know that while I expect other's to forgive me when I am genuinely sorry, I must be willing to forgive them. I know that GOD's love keeps NO records of wrong.
" Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." 1 Corinthians 13:4-8
I know that GOD wants me to forgive those who hurt me, and because I know this I try to. I want to, and I pray to, however I allow myself to be bitter and resentful that it is ME again who has to forgive. Really GOD? Why Me? HIS Daily teaching today is this, " because you are forgiven."
I know that because I am forgiven I must abandon any and all thoughts of anger and unforgiving thoughts. I know that when I allow those thoughts in my mind, I stay trapped in my own prison. Therefore, I must align my thoughts and actions to HIS will for my life. I know that HE knows what is best for me, and so if HE is asking me to forgive someone, then I must obey. I know that until I am able to forgive the people who have hurt me, GOD will NEVER be able to use me.
I know that GOD is ready to forgive me when I have messed up, but so often I am my own worst enemy and allow the guilt and shame to be piled on. I know that I am usually the last one to forgive myself. I must keep my emotions in check and not them decide whether or not I am worthy of being forgiven. I know that even though I may not "feel" worthy enough to receive forgiveness, GOD wants me to know that I am. I must not let my feelings get in the way of HIS purpose and plans for my life.
GOD really wants me to know that I can NEVER pay for my sins. I can however repent and ask, and I am forgiven. I know that it is NOT HIS will for me to try and do good deeds to get on HIS good side. I must remember that there is no "do good for Daddy" mentality allowed. Through my faith I am learning that it is foolish and a waste of HIS time for me to try and pay a debt that has already been paid. I know that if I "feel" like I have to pay a debt for my sins, then I must ask myself, "what was the point of JESUS' sacrifice?"
Today I am so thankful for the reminder that GOD's forgiveness is free. I am thankful that it is NOT something that I can earn, as I will NEVER be good enough to earn anything. I am a mess, but I am HIS mess. I am being refined and renewed everyday. I know that even though I still make mistakes even after learning and praying daily, I know that I am repenting, and seeking forgiveness, and I am NOT allowing myself to wallow in my flaws. I am no longer throwing my "woe is me" pity parties. The invitations have been burned, and I am putting on my new party dress of "forgiven."
In being forgiven I am moving forward through the messy crazy life that I am living. I am thankful because I know that I am not alone. HE is right there with me enjoying this crazy wild ride of a life that I am living. This past weekend the message at church was this, "I don't want an easy life, I want a crazy life." LORD JESUS I don't want to do things "my way," as YOUR way is so much better than I can even imagine. I want more of YOU with each day passing. LORD JESUS I need you to teach, lead, and guide me through every moment of my life.
In the last area that I struggle with forgiveness is that GOD wants me to know that is only through forgiveness that I am set free. HE is letting me know that the people who have hurt me will NEVER be able to undo that hurt. That there is nothing that they can do that will erase my past. HE is letting me know that I can choose to forgive so that my bitterness and anger do not eat away at my heart, and turn it to a heart of stone. I know that the only way to live in total freedom is to forgive and trust GOD that HE can, will, and does restore me completely.
I know that forgiving my step-grandfather and Granny has been the hardest thing that I have ever had to do. I couldn't imagine being able to forgive someone who hurt me in the deepest depths of my soul. When GOD asked me to forgive I was afraid that by forgiving it would mean that what they did was ok. It would mean that it would erase what they did to me. GOD has shown me that through the power of HIS forgiveness true freedom has been restored. I know that because I forgave them I am now able to walk in total freedom of my past. I am no longer held in bondage with the shame and guilt that came with it all. I am nightmare, flashback, and memory free of pain and suffering. I am no longer shedding tears of injustice, and being filled with the need for revenge. I am free truly free, all because HE loved me enough, all because I am forgiven.
I pray today that if you are holding onto past hurts, that you will release them to HIM. I pray today that you will allow HIM to transform your heart, and that you will be able to forgive those who hurt you. I pray today that you will receive total freedom from your past through your obedience in HIM.
Blessings,
Heather
Forgiveness is something that I struggle with. Not only for myself, but for others who I feel have wronged me or someone I care about. So often I get wrapped up in my emotions and let them lead me to my decisions. I know that by allowing myself to be emotionally lead I am missing out GOD's plan and purpose for my life. I know that because I am forgiven, HE is asking me to forgive others, no matter what they have done or said to me.
I know that while I expect other's to forgive me when I am genuinely sorry, I must be willing to forgive them. I know that GOD's love keeps NO records of wrong.
" Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." 1 Corinthians 13:4-8
I know that GOD wants me to forgive those who hurt me, and because I know this I try to. I want to, and I pray to, however I allow myself to be bitter and resentful that it is ME again who has to forgive. Really GOD? Why Me? HIS Daily teaching today is this, " because you are forgiven."
I know that because I am forgiven I must abandon any and all thoughts of anger and unforgiving thoughts. I know that when I allow those thoughts in my mind, I stay trapped in my own prison. Therefore, I must align my thoughts and actions to HIS will for my life. I know that HE knows what is best for me, and so if HE is asking me to forgive someone, then I must obey. I know that until I am able to forgive the people who have hurt me, GOD will NEVER be able to use me.
I know that GOD is ready to forgive me when I have messed up, but so often I am my own worst enemy and allow the guilt and shame to be piled on. I know that I am usually the last one to forgive myself. I must keep my emotions in check and not them decide whether or not I am worthy of being forgiven. I know that even though I may not "feel" worthy enough to receive forgiveness, GOD wants me to know that I am. I must not let my feelings get in the way of HIS purpose and plans for my life.
GOD really wants me to know that I can NEVER pay for my sins. I can however repent and ask, and I am forgiven. I know that it is NOT HIS will for me to try and do good deeds to get on HIS good side. I must remember that there is no "do good for Daddy" mentality allowed. Through my faith I am learning that it is foolish and a waste of HIS time for me to try and pay a debt that has already been paid. I know that if I "feel" like I have to pay a debt for my sins, then I must ask myself, "what was the point of JESUS' sacrifice?"
Today I am so thankful for the reminder that GOD's forgiveness is free. I am thankful that it is NOT something that I can earn, as I will NEVER be good enough to earn anything. I am a mess, but I am HIS mess. I am being refined and renewed everyday. I know that even though I still make mistakes even after learning and praying daily, I know that I am repenting, and seeking forgiveness, and I am NOT allowing myself to wallow in my flaws. I am no longer throwing my "woe is me" pity parties. The invitations have been burned, and I am putting on my new party dress of "forgiven."
In being forgiven I am moving forward through the messy crazy life that I am living. I am thankful because I know that I am not alone. HE is right there with me enjoying this crazy wild ride of a life that I am living. This past weekend the message at church was this, "I don't want an easy life, I want a crazy life." LORD JESUS I don't want to do things "my way," as YOUR way is so much better than I can even imagine. I want more of YOU with each day passing. LORD JESUS I need you to teach, lead, and guide me through every moment of my life.
In the last area that I struggle with forgiveness is that GOD wants me to know that is only through forgiveness that I am set free. HE is letting me know that the people who have hurt me will NEVER be able to undo that hurt. That there is nothing that they can do that will erase my past. HE is letting me know that I can choose to forgive so that my bitterness and anger do not eat away at my heart, and turn it to a heart of stone. I know that the only way to live in total freedom is to forgive and trust GOD that HE can, will, and does restore me completely.
I know that forgiving my step-grandfather and Granny has been the hardest thing that I have ever had to do. I couldn't imagine being able to forgive someone who hurt me in the deepest depths of my soul. When GOD asked me to forgive I was afraid that by forgiving it would mean that what they did was ok. It would mean that it would erase what they did to me. GOD has shown me that through the power of HIS forgiveness true freedom has been restored. I know that because I forgave them I am now able to walk in total freedom of my past. I am no longer held in bondage with the shame and guilt that came with it all. I am nightmare, flashback, and memory free of pain and suffering. I am no longer shedding tears of injustice, and being filled with the need for revenge. I am free truly free, all because HE loved me enough, all because I am forgiven.
I pray today that if you are holding onto past hurts, that you will release them to HIM. I pray today that you will allow HIM to transform your heart, and that you will be able to forgive those who hurt you. I pray today that you will receive total freedom from your past through your obedience in HIM.
Blessings,
Heather
Thursday, August 1, 2013
before the morning....
I didn't sleep last night for very long, as I kept replaying over and over what happened just before D and I went to bed. I got up several times, thinking, "you are such an idiot, why oh why did you run your mouth off like that?" "Great now you've done it, way to be the loving and supportive wife." "Way to set the example of being a CHRIST follower." "You are such a mess, and he deserves better than you." The thoughts just kept coming, and I allowed it. The more I allowed it, the more I cried. The more I cried the more hopeless and depressed I felt. This went on all....night....long....
So naturally when I woke up this morning, instead of feeling praise for HIM, thanking HIM for another day, I simply said, "Lord JESUS I need you, so badly, oh how I need you." Slowly HE began to reveal to me what happened last night, doesn't have to be the end all. HE reminded me that the pain that I had been feeling all night from the guilt and the shame were only temporary. HE reminded me that JOY is to be found, and HIS mercies are new every morning. As HE spoke to my heart, I clung to the song, "Before the Morning." by Josh Wilson. Once again HE reminded me of HIS promises through this part of the chorus "the pain that you've been feeling, can't compare to the joy that's coming."
I know I often feel depressed when I am disappointed in my life. Last night was no exception. Without going into detail, I placed HUGE unrealistic expectations on my husband, and naturally when he didn't live up to them, well lets just say he received the wrath of Heather, or as D likes to say, "Brunhilda made an appearance." I know that by allowing myself to be depressed over my actions, discouragement quickly got it's foot in the door of my life too.
I have realized that I have it in my head of how I "think" someone should be and when they are not, well I stupidly "feel" the need to be helpful. When really, I should be focusing more on myself, and the things GOD is working on in me. I must get my mind off other peoples flaws, and get my mind on HIM. I must stop putting all these unrealistic expectations on how I "think" things should be, and let go...... and let GOD. I must NOT let my disappointments manage me. I must not let my mouth run away from me.
As I sat there reading my book, Joyce's words took my breath away, "In GOD there is always a place of New Beginnings." It was then that the LORD spoke to me "My mercies are new every morning." "Get your heart and mind focused on me, and I will do the rest."
GOD's truth revealed to me this morning that I have allowed myself to "feel" depressed and have allowed myself to "feel" hopeless. I all too often let my discouragements lead to "feeling" hopelessness. HE is the GOD of HOPE, and LOVE, and GRACE, and MERCY!!! Instead of "feeling" sorry for myself, and sending out invites to "woe is me" I must remember that everyone struggles and it's always hard. No one person has it easy all of the time. HE wants me to know that when I get my mind off my problems and get it on HIM, I can do anything as HE is my strength!
I know that I let myself become easily discouraged when I see some who is blatantly disobeying GOD and yet HIS blessings are still being poured over them, or at least that is what I "think." I find myself comparing my life to theirs, and all of the "why's" and "how come's" take over my thoughts. I begin to wallow in my own pity about how things are never easy for me. I begin to say to HIM, "Why oh why must I struggle so hard LORD?" The feeling of unfairness, and my incessant need to point that out takes over.
"But as for me, my feet had almost slipped; I had nearly lost my foothold. For I envied the arrogant when I saw the prosperity of the wicked. They have no struggles; their bodies are healthy and strong." Psalm 73:2-4
As I was reading the book of Psalms this morning HIS truth was revealed to me.
"Those who are far from you will perish; you destroy all who are unfaithful to you.But as for me, it is good to be near God. I have made the sovereign Lord my refuge; I will tell of all your deeds." Psalm 73:27-28
GOD reminded me this morning of a lesson HE taught me earlier on in my journey and that is "comparison destroys contentment."
" and constant friction between people of corrupt mind, who have been robbed of the truth and who think that godliness is a means to financial gain. But godliness with contentment is great gain."
1 Timothy 6:5-6
I know that I must not allow comparison to enter my thoughts as it will only lead to depression. I must choose to align my thoughts and actions to HIS will for my life. I must get my mind off of others and get my mind on HIM. I know that through my obedience HE can, will, and does bless me. I must keep the faith, and live with HIS hope in me.
" Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." Galatians 6:9
I know that a life of shame and guilt is NOT the life that HE has chosen for me. Therefore I must seek HIM earnestly and allow HIM to renew and refine me daily. I must never think, "surely YOU are done with me in this area," as everything is in HIS timing not mine.
"being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." Philippians 1:6
GOD lovingly reminded me this morning of why HE sent HIS only son here to live, and teach others how to live. HE used HIS life as a living testament and guide for how I must live my life. HE reminded me of the greatest sacrifice that has EVER been made in the crucifixion of CHRIST JESUS, so that I could spend Eternity in Heaven with HIM and HIS Father. "JESUS died so we could have and enjoy a wonderful, powerful, prosperous life."
Before this morning, I was completely heart broken, was in a pit of despair, and HE quickly rescued me once again, and let me know that I needed to rejoice! as HIS mercies are new this morning! Today I am thankful for this day, I will rejoice and be glad that I get to "start over."
Today I will meditate on this Decision and Confession: Depression and discouragement will NOT control me. I will be happy and enjoy my life.
I pray today that if you too have "messed" up that you will seek HIS truth for your life. I pray today that you will know that HIS mercies are new every morning. I pray that you know that we all fall short of the glory of GOD. I pray that you know that even though before this morning you were in pain, and felt hopelessness and despair, you will know that HE is your strength, hope, love, and grace. HE is all you need. I pray today that you will believe that HE loves you and will never forsake you!
Blessings,
Heather
So naturally when I woke up this morning, instead of feeling praise for HIM, thanking HIM for another day, I simply said, "Lord JESUS I need you, so badly, oh how I need you." Slowly HE began to reveal to me what happened last night, doesn't have to be the end all. HE reminded me that the pain that I had been feeling all night from the guilt and the shame were only temporary. HE reminded me that JOY is to be found, and HIS mercies are new every morning. As HE spoke to my heart, I clung to the song, "Before the Morning." by Josh Wilson. Once again HE reminded me of HIS promises through this part of the chorus "the pain that you've been feeling, can't compare to the joy that's coming."
I know I often feel depressed when I am disappointed in my life. Last night was no exception. Without going into detail, I placed HUGE unrealistic expectations on my husband, and naturally when he didn't live up to them, well lets just say he received the wrath of Heather, or as D likes to say, "Brunhilda made an appearance." I know that by allowing myself to be depressed over my actions, discouragement quickly got it's foot in the door of my life too.
I have realized that I have it in my head of how I "think" someone should be and when they are not, well I stupidly "feel" the need to be helpful. When really, I should be focusing more on myself, and the things GOD is working on in me. I must get my mind off other peoples flaws, and get my mind on HIM. I must stop putting all these unrealistic expectations on how I "think" things should be, and let go...... and let GOD. I must NOT let my disappointments manage me. I must not let my mouth run away from me.
As I sat there reading my book, Joyce's words took my breath away, "In GOD there is always a place of New Beginnings." It was then that the LORD spoke to me "My mercies are new every morning." "Get your heart and mind focused on me, and I will do the rest."
GOD's truth revealed to me this morning that I have allowed myself to "feel" depressed and have allowed myself to "feel" hopeless. I all too often let my discouragements lead to "feeling" hopelessness. HE is the GOD of HOPE, and LOVE, and GRACE, and MERCY!!! Instead of "feeling" sorry for myself, and sending out invites to "woe is me" I must remember that everyone struggles and it's always hard. No one person has it easy all of the time. HE wants me to know that when I get my mind off my problems and get it on HIM, I can do anything as HE is my strength!
I know that I let myself become easily discouraged when I see some who is blatantly disobeying GOD and yet HIS blessings are still being poured over them, or at least that is what I "think." I find myself comparing my life to theirs, and all of the "why's" and "how come's" take over my thoughts. I begin to wallow in my own pity about how things are never easy for me. I begin to say to HIM, "Why oh why must I struggle so hard LORD?" The feeling of unfairness, and my incessant need to point that out takes over.
"But as for me, my feet had almost slipped; I had nearly lost my foothold. For I envied the arrogant when I saw the prosperity of the wicked. They have no struggles; their bodies are healthy and strong." Psalm 73:2-4
As I was reading the book of Psalms this morning HIS truth was revealed to me.
"Those who are far from you will perish; you destroy all who are unfaithful to you.But as for me, it is good to be near God. I have made the sovereign Lord my refuge; I will tell of all your deeds." Psalm 73:27-28
GOD reminded me this morning of a lesson HE taught me earlier on in my journey and that is "comparison destroys contentment."
" and constant friction between people of corrupt mind, who have been robbed of the truth and who think that godliness is a means to financial gain. But godliness with contentment is great gain."
1 Timothy 6:5-6
I know that I must not allow comparison to enter my thoughts as it will only lead to depression. I must choose to align my thoughts and actions to HIS will for my life. I must get my mind off of others and get my mind on HIM. I know that through my obedience HE can, will, and does bless me. I must keep the faith, and live with HIS hope in me.
" Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." Galatians 6:9
I know that a life of shame and guilt is NOT the life that HE has chosen for me. Therefore I must seek HIM earnestly and allow HIM to renew and refine me daily. I must never think, "surely YOU are done with me in this area," as everything is in HIS timing not mine.
"being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." Philippians 1:6
GOD lovingly reminded me this morning of why HE sent HIS only son here to live, and teach others how to live. HE used HIS life as a living testament and guide for how I must live my life. HE reminded me of the greatest sacrifice that has EVER been made in the crucifixion of CHRIST JESUS, so that I could spend Eternity in Heaven with HIM and HIS Father. "JESUS died so we could have and enjoy a wonderful, powerful, prosperous life."
Before this morning, I was completely heart broken, was in a pit of despair, and HE quickly rescued me once again, and let me know that I needed to rejoice! as HIS mercies are new this morning! Today I am thankful for this day, I will rejoice and be glad that I get to "start over."
Today I will meditate on this Decision and Confession: Depression and discouragement will NOT control me. I will be happy and enjoy my life.
I pray today that if you too have "messed" up that you will seek HIS truth for your life. I pray today that you will know that HIS mercies are new every morning. I pray that you know that we all fall short of the glory of GOD. I pray that you know that even though before this morning you were in pain, and felt hopelessness and despair, you will know that HE is your strength, hope, love, and grace. HE is all you need. I pray today that you will believe that HE loves you and will never forsake you!
Blessings,
Heather
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