Saturday, August 3, 2013

quickly and freely

I am finding myself at a loss for words again, as GOD is revealing to me that I need to do some more work on the unforgiveness that I have been harboring in my heart.  This frustrates me, because I "feel" as if though I've already worked out everything that I possibly can.  However, because I trust HIM completely I know that HE is doing this for my own good. 

As I was reading this morning a line to one of my favorite songs came to mind, "Nothing can separate even if I ran away your love never fails" Your Love Never Fails by Jesus Culture.  I know that no matter how far I try and run away from what HE is wanting me to do, HE is always there waiting for me to return.  HE is loving me unconditionally and waiting for me to surrender so HE can make all things work together for my own good.

GOD is letting me know that by harboring bitterness in my heart towards people who I feel have offended or hurt me, is only hurting me.  HE is letting me know that by keeping in bondage with bitterness I am only distancing myself from HIM, and turning away from HIS blessings that HE wants to pour over my life.  

What's even more alarming to me this morning, is that the bitterness I am harboring towards myself, in feeling inadequate with what I "feel" I should be doing, isn't the reality of my life.  I know that I can get so wrapped up in my "feelings" that I fail to see what is really go on.  I fail to see what HE is doing in my life.  I know that the more I try to hold onto doing things "my way," the bigger the mess I create for myself.

HIS Daily Teaching today is about needing to forgive quickly and freely.  I must remember that HE wants to forgive and release the bitterness I am harboring in my heart.  I must NEVER forget that HIS mercies are new every morning.  I must praise HIM for HIS mercy.

"Mercy is the most beautiful gift we can give or receive."

"Mercy cannot be earned and is not deserved."

 I am grateful that I don't ever have to worry about earning HIS unfailing love, I am thankful that I can never do enough to receive HIS mercy.  I am grateful that I am accepted and supported fully by HIM.  I am thankful that HE makes all things work together for my own good.  I am thankful that HE takes all my hurts and pains, and uses it for HIS glory. 

I am learning that mercy is about looking beyond the sin, and seeing the sinner in HIS eyes.  Mercy is about understanding how or why a sin has been committed.  Mercy teaches me to hate the sin and NOT the sinner.

"Many times people do a hurtful thing and don't even know why they are do it, or they may not realize they are doing it."

I know that I lash out at other's because of my own personal pain. I know that from an early age I learned to hurt people before they could ever be given the chance to hurt me.  I was reminded that with Joyce Meyer's words this morning: " I was hurt so badly in my childhood that I in turn frequently hurt others with my harsh words and attitudes."  I know that through my suffering and pain, I lashed out at the people who had genuine hearts towards me, and I hurt them deeply.  I know that I was so blinded by rage, and fear that I couldn't see all the people that HE was placing in my life to help "save" me.

I know that I didn't even realize how harsh and mean spirited I had become because of my life had always been so painful and hard.  GOD has let me know that HE saw the broken little girl that I was, and is letting me know now that HE wants to heal me of those hurts and pains that I am still harboring in my heart.  Even pains that I "thought" I had dealt with.  I am learning that with every step of my journey HE will take me through every level of pain until I have dealt with it all and given all of it to HIM.

"Hurting people hurt people."

I know several people in my life that no matter how nice people are to them, they always find a reason to be unkind to others.  With every chance they are given they talk about how unfair their lives are, and how unjustly they have been treated.  They are "hell" bent on getting revenge, and fail to see how much of a foothold Satan has in their lives.  I have learned in my life through each stage of forgiveness that HE has taken me through, that when I forgive I am keeping Satan from gaining an advantage over me. 

"Anyone you forgive, I also forgive. And what I have forgiven—if there was anything to forgive—I have forgiven in the sight of Christ for your sake,  in order that Satan might not outwit us. For we are not unaware of his schemes." 2 Corinthians 2:10-11

HE is teaching me that my bitterness is a direct result of the unforgiveness I am harboring in my heart.  I am learning that I am not the only one directly affected by the bitterness in my heart.  HE has revealed to me that HIS HOLY SPIRIT is also affected.  Therefore, I must obey HIM, and forgive quickly and freely. 

"See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many." Hebrews 12:15

"And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.  Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice." Ephesians 4:30-31

HE is letting me know that in order to live in total freedom I must don't dwell on how I have been offended. I know that when I am offended I tend to replay the offense over and over in my mind.  I know that the more I replay it the more angry, and bitter I become.  I know that if I am not careful I will end up blowing it all out of proportion.   I must not let any little offenses pile up inside of me.  I must choose to forgive quickly and freely.

Long before I even realized GOD knew the husband I would one day have.  HE knew that my husband would be D.  I have been with D for 18 years of my life now, and I have just now realized who D really is.  These words that Joyce wrote really spoke to my heart: " I had been given a wonderful Godly man but I did not know how to appreciate the gift GOD had given me because I stored up little offenses and refused to let them go."

Oh my how the words rang so true to my heart.  I know that D has truly been to "hell and back" with me, and through it all has stayed by my side.  Holding my hand every step of the way.  When most men would run, he stayed, and fought the good fight with me.  Until now I have failed to see just how much I have depended on him to see me through the storms of my life.  GOD has let me know that D is my soft place to fall, but that my strength comes from HIM.   I am so thankful that GOD made D such a strong, fierce, always in my corner, protector, my best friend, my husband, and Daddy to my children.  I am thankful that through all of my flaws and inability to forgive, he has forgiven me, and has shown me what true love really means. 

I am learning that the longer I refuse to let go to the feelings of bitterness and forgive, worse things will come my way. 

"To be wronged is nothing unless you continue to remember it."  Confucius

GOD is asking me to rid myself of negative emotions, as they only fuel my bitterness even further.  I am learning that the quicker I let go... and let GOD the better off I will be.  I know in order to be truly free from bitterness in my heart, I must stop talking about my hurts so I can truly forgive those who hurt me.  I know that the more I talk about my hurts, the more Satan keeps a stronghold in my life.

If I have learned anything in my 10 years of walking with JESUS it is this:  I spent the first half of my life walking through "hell" due to circumstances beyond my control.  However, where I am now, I am strong enough to say NO to the temptations that arise inside of me for the need for revenge for the people who have offended me.  I know that my life is much easier lived when I stop doing things, "my way," and let HIM teach, lead, and guide me every single moment of my life.

The hardest thing I have had to learn is this: forgiving is hard.  It is a choice, one  that I must make quickly and freely. 

" For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.  But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins."
Matthew 6:14-15

Today I am choosing to no longer allow the unforgiveness in my heart to keep me separated from HIM anymore. I have asked HIM to reveal to me the areas I need to forgive, and I am starting  to take the necessary steps towards forgiveness so HE can continue to heal my heart.

I pray today that if you harboring bitterness in your heart, that you will turn to HIM and ask HIM to help you forgive those who have hurt you.  I pray today that you will seek HIM earnestly and ask HIM to help you live your life today.  I pray today that you will receive freedom through HIM to truly live your life.  I pray today that you will choose to forgive quickly and freely.


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