Thursday, August 8, 2013

"deaf"

For the past twenty-seven years I have had to rely on wearing hearing aids to "hear."  I remember my parents taking me to the ear doctor and him saying that I needed hearing aids to be able to hear.   I was mortified as I was already struggling to "fit in" in my 3rd grade class  It was already so difficult knowing that I was so different from everyone else in my class, and this was just another level of "different."  I remember being teased all of the time, and and how much I missed out on conversations, and activities because I was "deaf."  

These days I am thankful that I am able to hear with the help of hearing aids  I am thankful that my being "deaf" isn't as horrible as it could be, as with hearing aids I am able to "hear" at a functioning level.  I never needed to learn sign language.  I am thankful that if a person didn't know I wore hearing aids, I would appear "normal."

As I was reading this morning GOD revealed to me that while I have been blessed by the assistance of hearing aids in being physically "deaf," I needed to understand that in my past I have allowed myself to become "spiritually deaf."  HE let me know that all of the times I cried out to HIM, "LORD, why don't you hear me?"  HIS response was, "Heather, why aren't you listening to me?"  HE let me know that until I was willing to make HIM my number one priority I wasn't going to be able to hear HIM.  Eighty-three days ago, in my cries for help, I received HIS message, put HIM first and everything else will fall into place.  In choosing to carve out time for HIM everyday HE will show me how to live my life that day, and when I obey HIM, HE will take care of the rest.

As I was reading my book "Whispers" today I started thinking about what putting HIM first really means to me.  As I meditated on that thought I read these words: "The goal of the CHRIST following life is to grow to the point that we live in GOD's reality."  I know that without HIM leading me, my world is a very dark place.  I know that without HIM words harm me, and Satan completely wrecks my complete existence.  I know that in order to be truly CHRIST like I must turn my eyes an ears to Heaven and wait for HIM.  I must "be still."

I have learned that until I surrendered my life completely to HIM I wasn't able to hear HIM.  I know that had I not surrendered HIS Daily Teachings wouldn't have been possible.  I know that in order to share HIS Daily Teachings with others I must first dedicate at least one hour a day to reading HIS word, and waiting for HIM to teach, lead, and guide me.  I must align my thoughts and actions to HIS will for my life.  I know that none of this is possible without my alone time with HIM.  I know that when I don't have alone time with HIM, my day is usually a complete train wreck.  The Bible teaches us that even JESUS withdrew from the crowds to be alone with HIS Father.  JESUS knew that in order to truly hear what HE was being told, HE had to have alone time to be in prayer with HIS Heavenly Father.

"Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed." Mark 1:35

I know in my heart that HE is asking me to do just as JESUS did in making time for HIM in my early mornings.  It has been in those times when my children and husband are asleep that HE has taught me some of the greatest lessons I have ever learned.  It has been through those times where I have learned what HIS true purpose is for my life.  It has been in the early morning hours that I am filled with HIS grace, HIS love, HIS promise, HIS forgiveness, HIS truth, HIS word, HIS hope, without each of those things I wouldn't be where I am today.

I know that HIS Daily Teachings is a result of not allowing myself to be spiritually "deaf" any longer.  I know it is because of my daily discipline and obedience that I am able to share HIS words, and HE is able to reach so many lost and broken people through my story.  I know that if I ever doubt in whether or not I am doing the "right" thing all I have to do is look at how my story has impacted so many lives.  

I have learned that because GOD loves me, HE "whispers" to me daily and it is those "whispers" that give me the courage and confidence to be the wife, mother, and woman of GOD that HE has called me to be.  It has been HIS "whispers" that have given me the courage to speak with confidence of who my SAVIOR is, and to not be ashamed of my faith.  It has been through HIS "whispers" that I am no longer trapped in being spiritually "deaf" and now because I am hearing HIM, HE is using my life as a living testament of just how AMAZING HIS grace truly is.

I pray today that you will silence your inner "noise," so that you will be able to hear HIS "whispers."  I pray today that you will open the door to your heart and let HIM in.  I pray today that you will choose to make HIM a priority in your life, and that you will let go of being spiritually "deaf."  I pray today that you will receive the freedom to truly live your life through your discipline and obedience for HIM.

Blessings,
Heather



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