Friday, January 10, 2014
"just one touch"
For the past five days I have been battling sickness in myself, and my children. I have spent the past five days on my couch, watching hours of mindless t.v. and not even looking at my bible once, or even thought about journaling. Rather I have made excuse after excuse as to "why" I couldn't journal, or seek HIM, or ask HIM to teach, lead, or guide me through any of the moments that I have lived for the past five days.
As I fell deeper and further into a state of depression and despair, I began to speak very negatively about my life, and my relationships with others. Before I knew what was happening I found myself agreeing to the depression and the darkness that was trying to creep in.
Thankfully my HEAVENLY FATHER loves me enough that HE knows that HE can reach me through even the most unlikely of places, and that place just so happened to be facebook, this past Wednesday afternoon. It was on that day that I read a quote that said, "pray many words over your marriage, instead of speaking words about your marriage." Another quote I read was, "Don't waste any time that you are given, rather make each moment count, as for when the moment has passed, you cannot get that time back."
How true those two statements are for my life. HE is wanting me to know that it is in especially in my time of sickness that I must remember that HE is there, and that all I need is "just one touch" from HIM and HE can, will, and does restore everything in my life.
However, since I am stubborn, and selfish, and way too prideful to admit when I am being stupid, well lets just say I remain in the company of pain and despair, until I realize that what I am so desperately needing is "just one touch" from HIM.
Today a song with this very title "Just One Touch," is playing over and over in my mind. HE is taking me back to the first moment where I heard that song, and how it affected me. Today HE is wanting me to remember that my life has been transformed, renewed, and restored, all because I have received "just one touch" from HIM. HE is wanting me to know that there is NEVER going to be a time where I am NOT going to need HIS loving touch, as in my humanness I have forgotten this very truth for my life.
Today HE is wanting me to focus on the lyrics to this song, so that I will TRUST and BELIEVE HIM that HE is who HE says HE is, and that HE will do what HE says HE will do! Today with pain, guilt, and shame in my heart, I am letting go, and I am seeking HIM fully, and I am singing this very song, as HE truly is all that I need.
"Just One Touch
Can Heal This Life
And Change It For Forever
Just One Touch
And Just One Touch
Can Calm This Storm
And Tell My Soul Be Still
Just One Touch
So Mercifully Come To Our Rescue
Heavenly Father We Need You
We Are Nothing Without You Lord.
So I’m Reaching For Your Hands
That Wondrously Reached For Me
You Wondrously Reach For Me
I’m Reaching For Your Hands
That Wondrously Reached For Me
You Wondrously Reach For Me
Just One Touch, Just One Touch
Is All That I Need, Is All That I Need.
If you have never heard this song, I would encourage you to look it up it's by Fellowship Church, and this song has truly become a comfort to me during my times of struggle.
HIS Daily Teachings today is to remind me how life changing "just one touch" has been for my life. As I was reading today's bible study HE began to speak to me about the woman who was plagued for years with a horrible blood disease. As I read through Mark Chapter 5, I was once again reminded how I too have been on the receiving end of "just one touch" from HIM.
This morning I read about how this woman had seen many doctors, and "tried" various types of medicines, and how nothing had worked. How lonely, depressing, and full of despair her life had become. The story goes on to talk about how in her loneliness HIS hope is sent to her in the form of another person who was once sick, a leper. He walks past her and she sees that he is different. The man begins to tell her of the amazing carpenter from Nazareth who is healing people. Right then and there she decides that if she can't see HIM, she will try to just touch HIM, as surely when she does she will be healed.
So just as she is hoping, she gets her chance. Through a huge crowd of people wanting and needing to be healed, she tries in vain to touch HIM. She knows with full certainty that all she needs is to touch HIM just once, and she will be healed. Alas her chance comes, and she touches HIS robe with just the tip of her fingers. Immediately HIS power, love, grace, mercy is poured into her, and she is healed. With that JESUS amongst a HUGE crowd of followers speaks, "Who touched me?" People are shocked and astonished that HE would ask that as surely HE could understand that with this amount of people someone is bound to touch HIM. What they, and I have failed to realize is that HE knows, when HE has been touched, HE knows when someone is thirsting for HIS touch. HE knows and can see my pain, even though I "think" I am hiding it. Today HE is comforting me with HIS loving reminder of how my testimony has only come to be through my receiving "just one touch" from HIM.
A large crowd followed and pressed around him. And a woman was there who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years. She had suffered a great deal under the care of many doctors and had spent all she had, yet instead of getting better she grew worse. When she heard about Jesus, she came up behind him in the crowd and touched his cloak, because she thought, “If I just touch his clothes, I will be healed.” Immediately her bleeding stopped and she felt in her body that she was freed from her suffering. At once Jesus realized that power had gone out from him. He turned around in the crowd and asked, “Who touched my clothes?”“You see the people crowding against you,” his disciples answered, “and yet you can ask, ‘Who touched me?" But Jesus kept looking around to see who had done it. Then the woman, knowing what had happened to her, came and fell at his feet and, trembling with fear, told him the whole truth. He said to her, “Daughter, your faith has healed you.Go in peace and be freed from your suffering.” Mark 5: 24-34
Today HE is wanting me to know that though I may not be suffering with a lifetime of sickness, I am however acting as if though my being sick was the end of my life. HE is wanting me to know that even though I didn't cry out, or complain, or whine about my being sick, I did however withdraw myself from the world, and HIM. In the many hours of my sickness I wasted so much time watching mindless t.v. and was so content to just "veg out", however in my "vegging out," HE is wanting me to know that I am "missing out."
HE is wanting me to know that "missing out," today means for me that I have failed to see HIS blessings, and HIS favor being poured over my life this week. I have missed out on precious time with my children, and my husband, all because I have been sick. It saddens me to know that once again in my humanness and in my quest to only answer my fleshly desires I have missed the mark once again. I have failed the test, and I pray that I realize during the next one that it is indeed a test.
This morning I have been on the receiving end of "just one touch" from HIM. Through HIS touch I received a much needed nudge to arise early, and to seek HIM, to pour my heart out to HIM, and be filled by HIS word. Today was about be refreshed, and renewed. Through "just one touch" from HIM I am able to hear HIM, and I am able to journal, and now write this blog. It has been through HIS touch that I am once again being healed by HIM.
HE is wanting me to know that its not the size of my faith that matters, rather what does matter is that my belief in HIM is strong, and that I truly understand and can boldly declare that HE is indeed LORD of my life. HE is telling me that not only must I BELIEVE, I must TRUST HIM completely, and know that HE is who HE says HE is, and HE will do what HE says HE will do. Once again I am reminded that I must have faith like a mustard seed.
He replied, “Because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move.Nothing will be impossible for you.” Matthew 17:20
HE is reminding me today that instead of living in despair, all that I need to do is reach out and receive HIS love, HIS grace, HIS power, and HIS mercy, all through "just one touch."
I pray today that if you are living in the company of loneliness and despair that you will know that HE is waiting for you. I pray that you will know that through "just one touch" you can be healed. I pray that you too will have the courage just as the woman did to reach out and touch HIM, and have your life transformed and renewed. I pray that if you are like me and have already received HIS touch, that you will know that no matter how bad you mess up or how far you stray from HIM, you will always be on the receiving end of "just one touch" from HIM.