Sunday, January 26, 2014

"true colors"

For the past six days I have been sick.  It is not lost on me that six days ago was my last journal entry, and it was on that day that HE was teaching me that I must choose to be a "JOY model."  Though I "thought" I understood what that meant for my life, I quickly found out that when HE feels as if though I am not getting it, HE can, will, and does bring me to my knees.  Well this time HE didn't just bring me to my knees, HE brought me flat on my back, and made sure that I was "bed ridden."  Well I can assure you that I most definitely was "bed ridden."  

As each day passed my pain increased, and my fevers spiked, the more medicine I took the more "less" of me I felt.  However, through it all, I could hear HIM say, "Where is your JOY Heather?"  It was during one the worst moments of my sickness, where it hurt too much to open my eyes, that I was laying in my bed, feeling completely beat down where HE said to me, "Where is your JOY?"  With that I threw both of my arms in the air and started singing "Redeemer" which just so happens to be my five year old son's favorite song.  All I could think of is the line of "runs to the weary the worn and the weak, and the same gentle hands, that hold me when I'm broken, they conquered death to bring me victory!  I know my Redeemer lives!"  The more I sang the better I felt, even though my fever was increasing, my JOY was intensifying.

HIS Daily Teachings is bringing me back to that moment in my room where HE revealed HIMSELF to me in a way where I have failed to see HIM before, and that is when I am broken, hurt, and in pain, HE is there, all I have to do is seek HIM and I will find HIM as HE will meet me right where I am.  HE is wanting me to know that I am able to understand this because I have chosen to allow HIM to teach, lead, and guide me through my faith in HIM.

HIS Daily Teachings today was to let me know that it is in those moment's where I am feeling down and out, how I handle the circumstances of my life, reflects upon the level of faith that I have.  HE is wanting me to know that my "true colors" will shine through about where my faith really lies where the going gets tough.  HE is telling me that if my reaction is no better than someone who doesn't believe, then why would anyone ever want to choose HIM just because I say I am a CHRISTIAN, and I claim that I am saved? 

This morning HE is wanting me to know that my "true colors" must reveal this just as it has been written:

"Our mouths were filled with laughter, our tongues with songs of joy. Then it was said among the nations, “The Lord has done great things for them.” Psalm 126:2

This quote in my current read called "Choose JOY" really laid heavy on my heart  "I would believe in their salvation if they look a little more like people who have been saved" Friedrich Nietzsche

HE is wanting me to know that it is one thing for me to claim I am a "CHRISTIAN," and it is quite another for me to live as a "CHRIST follower."  Today HE has been revealing to me what my "true colors" truly do look like.  HE is wanting me to know that when a person first meets me I should just be oozing of JESUS.  Sadly, because I am human, and well selfish, I know that is NOT always the case, and many time I fall so short of being even remotely close to modeling JESUS.

HE is wanting me to know that HE wants me to show my "true colors" to everyone I meet, and that means being WHO HE calls me to be, and NOT WHO I want to be.  Therefore, I must choose to be the woman of GOD HE has been, is and, will continue to build me to be.

This is difficult for me, as I am a selfish person, and I like to hold grudges every now and then.  Honestly who doesn't?  When I feel as if though I am being treated unfairly sometimes, I act immature, I don't always handle it in the best way.  When I feel someone is being mean to someone else, I tend to get angry at them, and sometimes I wish ill-will on them.  

This morning HE has revealed to me that though I don't often wish ill-will on real life people, I do however in shows I watch, or books I read, and HE is wanting me to know that even though they aren't "real" if I am not careful in choosing my words wisely, they can, will, and do spill over into my real-life.  HE is wanting me to know that the words that spill will be my very "true colors" of who I am identified by.  YIKES!  It saddens me to think that I could be known as a judgemental, selfish, sarcastic, mean person, all because of  my actions towards someone.  

HE is really wanting me to understand that when I decided to follow HIM, all eyes were on me.  All eyes have remained upon me, and will continue to be upon me, especially since I am writing this very blog.  HE is wanting me to know that because I am in the spotlight per say, I must be sure that my "true colors" are really HONORING and GLORIFYING to HIM.  This means, NO matter what I may be going through, storms or not, everything I say and do is a reflection of my faith.

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." James 1:2-4

I am learning that it is during my times of trials where my faith is being stretched, and in the seasons growing, HE can, will, and does reveal to me my "true colors." This past week HE revealed to me my "true colors" during my sickness when I sang to HIM, and worshiped HIM.  I could have just as easily laid there and cursed GOD for not loving me enough to keep me from getting sick.  Rather, I thanked HIM for the opportunity to seek HIM, and to depend and rely on only HIM.  To be able to declare that HE is the GOD who saves, WHO heals, WHO loves, WHO cares for me the most.  I am thankful that I passed this test, however, I am aware that another is just around the corner, and that I must not lose sight that I can become easily side-tracked and miss the whole point of HIS teachings in the next moment. 

This past week has been all about me choosing and seeking HIS JOY when all I really wanted to do was lay in my bed, cry, and feel sorry for myself.  Thankfully HE loves me enough to capture my heart, and my attention and kept me focused on HIM and blessing me with the knowledge that everything is in HIS timing and provision, NOT mine.  I am thankful to have been given the opportunities this past week to seek HIM and to be able to choose HIS JOY in the midst of my pain.

"No matter what you "say" you believe, or what others "think" you believe, there's no hiding or pretending when the bottom falls out." Kay Warren "Choose JOY"

HE is wanting me to know that my faith "true colors" will show in those moments, not to HIM, as HE already knows, but to me, to teach me, and to show me WHO I really am and where my heart is really at.  In seeking HIS vision for my life, the same theme has been playing over and over in my head, and that is, getting my heart focused on what is on HIS.  I must die unto myself, pick up my cross, and seek HIM.  I must choose HIM, and ask HIM to teach, lead, and guide me through every single moment of my life with HIM, as HIS plans are truly what is best for me.

HE has been revealing my "true colors" to me about how I feel about certain people in my life.  I, just like everyone else have certain people who annoy me.  On a daily basis.  To the point of where, I talk to myself, as if I am talking to them.  What HE is wanting me to know is that I am not just talking to myself, but rather I am talking to HIM, and I am disobeying HIM, when I am saying anything that is less than HONORING to HIM.  UGH!!!  Okay, so let me be clear, today's daily teachings, is really putting me through the ringer, as I didn't really "feel" like growing this much today!  Whew, now that my ego is out of the way, I should probably tell you that HE is letting me know that those "annoying" people are in my life for HIS plan, and HIS purpose for my life!  "Sigh" deep breath, okay, so now that I know this, I know that I must ask HIM to give me a clean heart about them, and show me WHO I am supposed to be for them.  Not for me, or really for them, but for HIM.

HE is wanting me to know that is through those "annoying" people that HE has placed in my life that I will learn HIS greatest lessons and that is to love just as HE loves, to extend grace as it has been given to me, and  to forgive just as I, Heather a sinner have been forgiven.  HE is wanting me to know that even when I "think" I understand what HE is telling me, HE can, will, and does always take it to the next level.

" Do everything without grumbling or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, “children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation.”Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky" Philippians 2:14-15

How many times I have taught this very concept to my own children, and yet I have failed to do the same? 

"The bible says our faith-life should provide a stark contrast to the life of unbelievers, so much that it would be like looking at a brilliant star against the inky blackness of a dark night sky-- you can't help but notice the difference."  Kay Warren "Choose JOY"

HE is wanting me to know that instead of doing what the world says, "every man for himself."  I must ask what can I, Heather do for others?  How can I help them?  How can I, Heather, a Sinner, share my faith, my testimony, as a message of HIS hope so that they too will find hope in HIM?

"If being a Christian makes no difference in the way we respond to problems, what good is our faith?" Kay Warren "Choose JOY"

Oh my goodness, is it HOT in here, or is it just me?  Whew I can feel the heat today.  HE is asking me how can I write about HIS Daily Teachings, and then NOT apply them to my own life?  How can I expect anyone to seek HIM, unless I choose to seek HIM myself?  

HE is wanting me to know, now that I understand that, I will then be able to get my heart right, and focused on HIM, and it is then that my "true colors" will truly bring all praise, honor, glory, and power to HIS HOLY and RIGHTEOUS NAME!

One final thought for today, am I more of a Christian because I go to church every Sunday?  Or is it because I memorize scripture?  Or maybe because I choose to engage in a bible study everyday?  Or do my "true colors" reveal that really I am just like everyone else, all because I put ME first, and HIM last.  I choose my selfish fleshly desires, over what HE tells me to do.  What makes a Christian?  What do your "true colors" reveal?

I pray today that you seek HIM and HE will reveal to you your "true colors."  I pray that you will not lose heart, as we all fall short of the glory of GOD.  I pray that you will know the good news is HE loves you, and HE wants to transform and renew your heart to be just like HIS.  I pray today you will have the courage to stop being like everyone else, and seek HIM as HIS plans are perfect for your life.


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