Tuesday, July 8, 2014


For the past five days, I have been busy.  Busy being a Mama to my five children.  Busy going to the library, gym, swimming, and spending three days at Six Flags Theme Park.  In the past five days I have allowed myself to become so incredibly distracted from HIS teachings, that sadly when I looked up the last time I wrote in my journal was on July 3rd.  Sure I prayed in these past five days, but I didn't seek HIM, and ultimately I have made some pretty crucial mistakes in the way I have chosen to think, speak, and act. 

Thankfully this morning, I felt HIS gentle nudge for me to get out of bed, restart my routine, of my alone time with HIM, so that I would be able to hear HIS whispers, and most importantly heed HIS whispers.  HIS Daily Teachings today is revealing to me just how distracted I have become, and in allowing that to happen, WHO I have become is someone I don't even recognize.  Today HE is showing me what has happened to my thoughts, words, and most importantly my actions in allowing myself to become distracted.

My Thoughts:

Oh where to begin, you mean about the hurtful, awful, deadly thoughts I have had in the past five days?  Thoughts where I have wished ill will on the drivers who have cut me off.  Thoughts of wanting to send my ungrateful children away. Thoughts of my husband being a jerk.  Thoughts of being tired, most importantly (to me anyways) sick and tired of everyone getting on my nerves.  Just sitting here typing it all out, brings stinging tears to my eyes, as I have seen where I have fallen so short of HIS glory for my life in the past five days.  

HE is wanting me to know that it is never too late to begin again, and that when I repent, and seek HIM, HE will meet my distracted self right where I am.  HE is telling me that HE has allowed myself to become distracted so that I would be able to see WHO I am without HIM.  It is no coincidence to me that I woke up this morning singing, "Imagine me without YOU" by Jaci Velasquez   "Imagine me without You, I'd be lost and so confused. I wouldn't last a day. I'd be afraid without You there to see me through. Imagine me without You, Lord, You know it's just impossible. Because of You, it's all brand new. My life is now worth while. I can't imagine me without You."  Upon looking up the lyrics for this song, I have been sitting here listening to it, and I have begun to realize just WHO I am without HIM.

Today I am so incredibly thankful, and blessed to know that I am truly living out HIS promises for my life about WHO HE is, and WHAT HE will do for me, NO matter how distracted I have become.  Today HE is answering my cries for help, and is meeting me right where I am and showing me what my life would look like without HIM.  Through HIS loving reminders I am seeing WHO I will become.

My Words:

Honestly I can't even begin to type all of the horrible things I have allowed to slip through my thoughts and straight out my mouth.  Sadly, in allowing myself to be distracted, I haven't said or done much of anything, that is even remotely GOD honoring.  It pains me to know that because of my my being distracted, I have taught me own children how to be all about one's self, which undoubtedly they don't need anyone teaching them how to be selfish.

HE is teaching me once again through horrible consequences to my actions in choosing to speak words of death instead of life just how much I need HIM.  HE is reminding me once again the utmost importance it is for me to understand just how much I need to be guarding my thoughts, and taming my tongue.  

"Those who guard their mouths and their tongues keep themselves from calamity." Proverbs 21:23

"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." Ephesians 4:29

"A gentle answer turns away wrath,but a harsh word stirs up anger." Proverbs 15:1

"The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing."
Proverbs 12:18

MY Actions:

These are undoubtedly that hardest thing for me to admit, much less write about.  My actions in the past five days of allowing myself to be distracted have been at times disastrous.  In failing to guard my thoughts, and tame my tongue, I have allowed myself to be Satan's puppet in his deadly game of wanting to wipe me and everyone I come into contact with out.  Living distracted I have become just another pawn in Satan's deadly game of where no one wins, we all lose, and sadly as my family history has been written lose their lives.  

HE is filling me with HIS loving reminder today that through HIM, HIS strength, HIS love, HIS mercy, HIS grace I am truly More than a Conqueror!  

"No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us"  Romans 8:37

HE is wanting me to know that no matter what happens in my life, HE is there.  HE will give me the strength to handle it.  HE is telling me that my problems are no longer anything I have to solve on my own, that HE is there and is waiting for me to seek HIM, and ask HIM to teach, lead, and guide me through ALL of my problems.  HE is telling me that when I seek HIM that is when I will know that with HIM I am MORE than a CONQUEROR!

This morning HE is filling me with HIS loving reminders that I am MORE than a CONQUEROR through my "Power Thoughts Devotional " Joyce Meyer.  HE is wanting me to know that I am able to do anything that HE leads me to.  HE is wanting me to remember that with HIM I most certainly can do anything, and with HIM I will be able to lose my sense of dread, when I know I am facing difficulties.  

This is taking me back to yesterday and driving my precious amazing five children and a guest to Six Flags. We were two minutes away, and I had just go on the toll way to get to the exit that I needed for us to go there.  As soon as I entered the tollway, everyone hit their breaks.  Almost instantly I knew it was an accident, but sadly I didn't even pray, no I was more concerned that "great now we have to wait, we were so close, how long is this going to take?"  Which then became thoughts of, "Look at all these idiot drivers, HEY that guy cut me off!!!  HEY listen BUSTER I have children in my TRUCK!!!  GAHHH!!! Unfortunately for myself, and my children, and our sweet guest, I began to allow my thoughts to become my words.  

My Actions:  

Upon being cut off by the guy in the red SUV, I became irate, and in my anger, I began to say things, agree to things, and ultimately began to act out my road rage.  Mocking other drivers, cursing, and saying horrible ungodly, awful things.  In my selfishness of the inconvenience that I was "feeling" I missed out on the amazing opportunity to pray for the people who had just been in an accident.  Even driving past, I was way more annoyed than I was concerned.  The total time that it took for us to get on the tollway, get off the tollway, and into the park took 1 hour and 40 min.  In that time my children all became restless, just as I was.  In that time I not only lost on the amazing opportunity to pray, but I failed to seek the opportunity to speak HIS truth to my children,and speak HIS plans and HIS will for WHO we are, as no matter what happens WE are ALL MORE  than CONQUERORS!

Today HE is telling me that I need to share what I wrote in my journal about what was on my heart.  It is hard for me admit this, as it shows me just how far I strayed from HIS Daily Teachings.  

"LORD JESUS, I now know what "I can't imagine me without YOU" means for me.  I haven't felt YOUR guidance in the last five days, as I have been so consumed with having fun, and keeping to my own agenda.  To realize that I was only pulling myself further away from YOU.  I am so sorry for allowing myself to become distracted by allowing my words to become daggers, and my actions to.... well to be honest they could have been deadly.  I have made mistakes for the past five days as a Mama, a Wife, and a woman WHO is supposed to be but is most certainly NOT GOD honoring!   Through my distractions I have become a push self-entitled brat WHO wants what she wants, when she wants it.  OH LORD please forgive me.  Hear my cry for YOUR guidance to replace my distracted vision with YOUR vision.  I want and need YOUR vision, YOUR will, YOUR plans, YOUR way for my life.  In allowing myself to be distracted I have once again let go of my health, and as a result, I had a major toothache from all of the soda I had been consuming.  This was all a result of letting myself go. Help me LORD to hear YOUR whispers, and most importantly heed YOUR whispers!  I need YOU and I love YOU so very much!  Love, Heather"  

As you can see I poured my heart out to HIM this morning, and whenever I do, it's a very personal moment of reflection that I write to HIM.  I write to HIM, as HE is my Daddy, and I love HIM.  I am realizing with each day passing just how much I need HIM, and when I allow myself to be distracted just how quickly I can be swept away.  

Dear friends, I pray today that you will have the courage to seek HIM, and allow HIM to show you how you have become distracted.  I pray that you will know that HE knows your hearts cry, long before it ever enters into your mind.  I pray that you will allow HIM to transform  your heart, soul, and mind to align with HIS will for your life.  I pray that your distracted vision will be replaced with HIS vision for your life, so that you will truly be living your life according to HIS will and HIS plans for your life.  I pray that when you do, HE will pour HIS blessings, and favor all over your life.

Many prayers, and blessings,

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