I have been extremely quiet in my writings these past few weeks. To be honest, it's been a tough pill to swallow the hand that I have been dealt in life. Daily I have been on my knees questioning GOD if HE was sure that HE got it right, as I couldn't for the life of me begin to fathom how my precious little one, being called HOME could possibly be the plan. However, since I TRUST HIM with ALL of my heart, and because I know HE is SOVEREIGN, I know that ALL HE does is for HIS good, and HE will take the greatest tragedy of my life, and build in me the greatest STRENGTH I have ever known, one that is unmatched or understood in the eyes and minds of this world.
HIS Daily Teachings began last Friday during a brief phone conversation with my soul sister K. We were talking about how difficult life had become, and how leaning in and pressing into my FAITH is the only thing that is keeping me afloat. She was speaking HIS truth into me by allowing HIM to speak HIS truth through her. In the final seconds of our conversation she said this phrase "the smallest of these will be the greatest of these."
Initially I was unsure how that could have possibly been from HIM, and to be honest I brushed it off thinking that if HE really wanted me to know that, then surely HE would have directed me to that. Well beings HE is true to HIS promises to keep leading me straight to HIS word when I am in doubt, that is exactly what HE did yesterday.
While sitting on my couch feeling broken, lost, and confused, and clinging for dear life to my FAITH in HIM, that HIS promises were true that HE would anchor me to HIM, HE knew just how much I needed that confirmation that HE is indeed there, and NOT only that, but HE's been there, is there, and will always be there. It was in those few quiet moments that HE led me straight to HIS word, and spoke the most comforting words to me....... "remember your conversation with K, find out from her what exactly she said, and SEE that it is MY word."
I was reading Isaiah 60:20 NIV, at first I didn't SEE anything, so I text K, and asked her what she said..... within moments the answer was staring me in the face on the glow of my phone screen..... "the smallest of these will be the greatest of these." I was still so confused as to how this could possibly be HIS message for me. In knowing me so well, HE led me straight to The Message Version Bible, and I was taken aback when I read what it said. Right then and there, I received the deepest most overwhelming comfort that NOT only is HE doing, HE is able, in ALL things to help me, to comfort me, to change me, to love me, even when I am in the deepest sadness, sorrow, pain, and anguish I have ever known. Comfort in knowing that even when the darkness is all around me, HIS light is there, SHINING FAITHFULLY for me, to lead me, to teach me, to guide me safely to HIS loving, safe, and secure arms.
"Your sun will never set again, and your moon will wane no more; the Lord will be your everlasting light, and your days of sorrow will end." Isaiah 60:20 NIV
"You’ll have no more need of the sun by day nor the brightness of the moon at night. God will be your eternal light, your God will bathe you in splendor. Your sun will never go down, your moon will never fade. I will be your eternal light. Your days of grieving are over. All your people will live right and well, in permanent possession of the land. They’re the green shoot that I planted, planted with my own hands to display my glory.The runt will become a great tribe, the weakling become a strong nation. I am God. At the right time I’ll make it happen.” Isaiah 60:20 The Message Bible
HIS message to me today is what HIS message to me was yesterday and that is, HE is there, and it is HIS purpose to show me, to teach me, that though I once was lost, I have been found, and because of that I know that I can do this life that I have been given, and NOT only can I do this life, but I can do it well. HE has placed HIS word so heavily on my heart, to cling to, to soak in, so that I will know and remember that when the waters rise and the storms rage in my life, HE is FAITHFUL, HE is there, HE WILL uphold me with HIS righteous hand, and WILL deliver me from the evil that is trying to take me out.
"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10
HE is telling me that in the times where I feel the darkness threatening me, HE wants me to stand firm, and TRUST and know that HE has built me strong. HE is reminding me that though I was once a lost, sad, broken, and lonely little girl, that little girl is gone, and rising from the ashes of all that the enemy destroyed in my life, HE is RAISING UP a STRONG WOMAN of FAITH, HE is truly making HIS words come alive in my life as HE is showing me that though I once was the smallest in my family, the most timid, and shy, with no voice, other than a voice of pure defiance, because of how badly I was being hurt. HE is letting me know that through HIM, with HIM, teaching, leading, and guiding me I am becoming the greatest in my family when it comes to my FAITH and BELIEF in HIM.
"and provide for those who grieve in Zion— to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness,
a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor." Isaiah 61:3
HE is wanting me to know that NOT only am I becoming STRONG in my family, but in this world that says I am a victim of horrific things, and that life is so unfair. While those two things are/were true, with HIM, I have changed my v's from victim to Victorious. HE is wanting me to know that in the times where I feel quiet in my writings about HIS Daily Teachings its because I either am having a hard time accepting what HE's telling me or that HIS Daily Teachings is just that big and takes a long time for me in my humanness to process.
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. " Proverbs 3:5-6
HE is wanting me to know that I can't even begin to fathom what my FAITH in HIM says to other CHOSEN people of FAITH about their own FAITH and trust in HIM. HE is telling me that HE is not speaking HIS word so that I will think that I am bigger or better than anyone, rather that I will be able to speak HIS word boldly and courageously when the enemy comes prowling around. HIS message to me today is this, "The evil one will always be after you, he hates you, however I have a plan, and you must TRUST me, by leaning in, and pressing deep into your FAITH and TRUST in ME, to know that I have this all worked out, I have a plan, an amazing plan, and I can't wait to reveal it all to you. HOLD FAST my precious daughter Heather, cling tight to MY promises to you, and SEE all that I have done, am doing and will do is ALL for GOOD. When you rise sing of MY praises, tell them to all who can hear, and share them with your family. Continue to seek ME, and wait for ME to reveal MYSELF to you, and to the world. Through you I will show the world how even the smallest of these, will be the greatest of these."
" Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the door frames of your houses and on your gates." Deuteronomy 6:5-9
Once again I am in complete awe of HIS FAITHFULNESS to me, in showing me and reminding me over and over that HE is there, HE is my ROCK, my SHELTER, my COMFORTER, my PROTECTOR, and my FORTRESS. HE is filling me with HIS promises once again, as I have begun to shrink back, and have been walking timidly with HIM leading me. HE is wanting me to always know and remember that HE is there, helping me with everything, that even when it hurts, especially when it hurts, HE is there, and in HIS timing and HIS provision HE will work everything out for HIS good.
"The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold." Psalm 18:2
HE is telling me that my mission, HIS purpose, my purpose in this life is simply this. Live it, love it, tell it, share it, to all WHO can hear and know so that they too will SEE that HE can, will, and does take the smallest of these, and build them strong to become the greatest of these!" HE is wanting me to TRUST HIM, to know that even though things are so incredibly hard, and overwhelming difficult in my life right now, that HE promises to NEVER leave me nor forsake me, that HE will always be there to help me, and when I seek HIM, HE will continue to BUILD me STRONG, so that NOTHING, NOT ONE THING will cause me to waiver from my FAITH and TRUST in HIM.
"But I will sing of your strength, in the morning I will sing of your love; for you are my fortress, my refuge in times of trouble" Psalm 59:16
I can tell you that had this portion of my journey come earlier in my walk with HIM, I was so weak, small, and timid in my FAITH. Too afraid to hope, to trust, to know, to believe that I, Heather, could possibly be CHOSEN, loved, as HIS special possession. I know that I would have fallen apart, broken down, lost FAITH, and would have given up. I would have thought that calling my son HOME was HIS punishment to me, and that truly I deserve nothing and no one good in my life. In even thinking about the hopelessness that I would have endured brings me to my knees with arms raised HIGH in PRAISE TO HIM, that because of HIS great love for me, HIS FAITHFULNESS I NEVER have to experience that way of living again!
"He is the Rock, his works are perfect, and all his ways are just. A faithful God who does no wrong, upright and just is he." Deuteronomy 32:4
The truth is this: HE has the last word, HE is SOVEREIGN, HE knows my days, has them numbered, and my name is etched in the palm of HIS hand. My children's days are numbered, and their angels, HIS angels are there protecting them, my angels, HIS angels are there protecting me. Breathing HIS strength and HIS peace into me and through me, through them, into them, so that we will all be made STRONG in our weakness, so that our family, who once had small doubt filled FAITH, are being made STRONG, FAITHFUL, HUMBLE, SERVANTS WHO rely solely on our FAITH in HIM that HE is SOVEREIGN, and HE has everything worked out for HIS good. That through HIM we are more than conquerors.
"Who is he who speaks and it comes to pass, When the Lord has not commanded it?" Lamentations 3:37
"But as for me, it is good to be near God. I have made the Sovereign Lord my refuge; I will tell of all your deeds." Psalm 73:28
"Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be." Psalm 139:16
"See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands; your walls are ever before me." Isaiah 49:16
"He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." Isaiah 40:29-31
" But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me." 2 Corinthians 12:9
"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28
" No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us." Romans 8:37
Through HIS FAITHFULNESS HE led me straight to VICTORY yesterday over one of my greatest fears. Since Monday October 13,2014 the worst day of my life, happened.... I have been too afraid, terrified actually, to sleep, rather nap in my bed at 2 p.m. HE had been working hard on my heart to TRUST HIM, to know that HE is there, even when I am sleeping, that HIS angels are there to protect me, that even if something else bad happens, HE has it all worked out, and I'm going to be okay. HE knew just how badly I needed HIS blessed assurance that I was going to be okay, that HE made it so that I would be overcome with exhaustion, where I would have no other choice but to nap.
I can tell you that as soon as I realized what HE was leading me to do, panic began to set it, and I ran to D's arms, and told him what was happening, I told him of my fear, and asked him to pray for me. I kissed him, told him I loved him, and told each of my children I loved them. With that I ascended the stairs of our home, and walked into my son's room with tears streaming down my face. I told him how much I missed him, and remembered being in his room sixteen weeks ago at that very time on the clock, knowing now that would be the last time I would ever see him alive again in this life.
Sobbing, I crawled onto my bed, grabbed my son's tweety bird, blankies, and jacket. I breathed in the lingering sweet scent of my son, wiped my tears, and clung for dear life to my son's earthly possessions. I cried out to HIM to please, please, please LORD drench me in your grace and flood me with your peace. With that I went into the deepest most peaceful sleep I have had since losing my precious little boy.
While napping, I had the most vivid, comforting dream about my son that I have had since he was called HOME. When I woke up, I was groggy, unsure, you know when you wake up and say things like, "how long was I asleep, what day is it? what time is it? where am I? who am I? what did I miss?" Yesterday I received another dosage of HIS Double Blessings. Yesterday I NOT only faced my fears, I CONQUERED my fears with HIM, and through HIM, and was able to share of HIS FAITHFULNESS and HIS GOODNESS right away.
"For I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you." Isaiah 41:13
Today I have been called to speak HIS truth, of all that HE is doing in my life. To be the voice, HIS voice of sorrow, sadness, pain, anguish, and grief. To let it be known in me and through me, that its okay to admit when I am weak, as HE will use my weakness to display HIS strength. HE is wanting me to know that HE has asked me to live out my journey of sorrow, sadness, pain, and grief, in real time so that my story, HIS story will be lived out for all the world to know and SEE that in all of it, HE is truly in the details. HE is wanting me to know that I may never know till I get to HEAVEN what an impact my story has made on the lives of this broken and fallen world, full of the last, the least, and the lost.
"You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven." Matthew 5:14-16
"being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." Philippians 1:6
Through the loving words my of my sweet soul sister K, and my best friend, "your story is going to change the world, you have no idea just how much it's going to change the world. I don't think you even know what a change your life is to this world, and how your bravery to share it is changing the world. You my friend are a world changer."
Today the FIRE that has been lit is burning BRIGHT, and I'm going to do what HE tells me to do, in sharing HIS good news, sharing HIS message of HOPE, by being HIS living vessel in living my FAITH out loud, as HIS ambassador to do HIS good works, to be HIS hands and feet, in choosing to LOVE people, as HE loves them. To live my life knowing that I have been CHOSEN, that HE is HOLY, and I am called, and was created on purpose for HIS purpose, to live out my purpose to be HOLY just as HE is. Today instead of shrinking back, hiding in my shell, I have decided to FOLLOW JESUS, and there is NO turning back!!!
My Dear Brothers and Sisters in CHRIST JESUS, it is my fervent prayer that you will come to know HIM as I know HIM. That you will experience HIS GOODNESS, GREATNESS, FAITHFULNESS, MERCY, and LOVE. I pray today that if you are hurting because of the happenings of this world, that you will surrender, lean in a press into your FAITH in HIM, and let HIM lead you safely to HIS arms. I pray that you will come to know HIM as your source of STRENGTH, HOPE, LOVE, PEACE, and COMFORT. I pray today that HE will drench you in HIS grace, and flood you with HIS peace, so that you will be able to face whatever test, trial, or storm you may be in. I pray today that in my sharing my story with you, you will be encouraged to know that NOTHING that happens in this life will EVER separate you from HIM. I pray today that you will know that HE will anchor you to HIM, that HE will hold you tight, that HE will carry you, and when you come out on the other side, the sun will shine brighter than ever before, and you too will be able to say "ALL with HIM, and NOTHING without HIM!" It is my prayer that you too will be living out HIS message of HOPE and LOVE of "the smallest of these will be the greatest of these."
Love and prayer always,
Your Sister in CHRIST JESUS,
~ Heather
HIS Daily Teachings began last Friday during a brief phone conversation with my soul sister K. We were talking about how difficult life had become, and how leaning in and pressing into my FAITH is the only thing that is keeping me afloat. She was speaking HIS truth into me by allowing HIM to speak HIS truth through her. In the final seconds of our conversation she said this phrase "the smallest of these will be the greatest of these."
Initially I was unsure how that could have possibly been from HIM, and to be honest I brushed it off thinking that if HE really wanted me to know that, then surely HE would have directed me to that. Well beings HE is true to HIS promises to keep leading me straight to HIS word when I am in doubt, that is exactly what HE did yesterday.
While sitting on my couch feeling broken, lost, and confused, and clinging for dear life to my FAITH in HIM, that HIS promises were true that HE would anchor me to HIM, HE knew just how much I needed that confirmation that HE is indeed there, and NOT only that, but HE's been there, is there, and will always be there. It was in those few quiet moments that HE led me straight to HIS word, and spoke the most comforting words to me....... "remember your conversation with K, find out from her what exactly she said, and SEE that it is MY word."
I was reading Isaiah 60:20 NIV, at first I didn't SEE anything, so I text K, and asked her what she said..... within moments the answer was staring me in the face on the glow of my phone screen..... "the smallest of these will be the greatest of these." I was still so confused as to how this could possibly be HIS message for me. In knowing me so well, HE led me straight to The Message Version Bible, and I was taken aback when I read what it said. Right then and there, I received the deepest most overwhelming comfort that NOT only is HE doing, HE is able, in ALL things to help me, to comfort me, to change me, to love me, even when I am in the deepest sadness, sorrow, pain, and anguish I have ever known. Comfort in knowing that even when the darkness is all around me, HIS light is there, SHINING FAITHFULLY for me, to lead me, to teach me, to guide me safely to HIS loving, safe, and secure arms.
"Your sun will never set again, and your moon will wane no more; the Lord will be your everlasting light, and your days of sorrow will end." Isaiah 60:20 NIV
"You’ll have no more need of the sun by day nor the brightness of the moon at night. God will be your eternal light, your God will bathe you in splendor. Your sun will never go down, your moon will never fade. I will be your eternal light. Your days of grieving are over. All your people will live right and well, in permanent possession of the land. They’re the green shoot that I planted, planted with my own hands to display my glory.The runt will become a great tribe, the weakling become a strong nation. I am God. At the right time I’ll make it happen.” Isaiah 60:20 The Message Bible
HIS message to me today is what HIS message to me was yesterday and that is, HE is there, and it is HIS purpose to show me, to teach me, that though I once was lost, I have been found, and because of that I know that I can do this life that I have been given, and NOT only can I do this life, but I can do it well. HE has placed HIS word so heavily on my heart, to cling to, to soak in, so that I will know and remember that when the waters rise and the storms rage in my life, HE is FAITHFUL, HE is there, HE WILL uphold me with HIS righteous hand, and WILL deliver me from the evil that is trying to take me out.
"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10
HE is telling me that in the times where I feel the darkness threatening me, HE wants me to stand firm, and TRUST and know that HE has built me strong. HE is reminding me that though I was once a lost, sad, broken, and lonely little girl, that little girl is gone, and rising from the ashes of all that the enemy destroyed in my life, HE is RAISING UP a STRONG WOMAN of FAITH, HE is truly making HIS words come alive in my life as HE is showing me that though I once was the smallest in my family, the most timid, and shy, with no voice, other than a voice of pure defiance, because of how badly I was being hurt. HE is letting me know that through HIM, with HIM, teaching, leading, and guiding me I am becoming the greatest in my family when it comes to my FAITH and BELIEF in HIM.
"and provide for those who grieve in Zion— to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness,
a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor." Isaiah 61:3
HE is wanting me to know that NOT only am I becoming STRONG in my family, but in this world that says I am a victim of horrific things, and that life is so unfair. While those two things are/were true, with HIM, I have changed my v's from victim to Victorious. HE is wanting me to know that in the times where I feel quiet in my writings about HIS Daily Teachings its because I either am having a hard time accepting what HE's telling me or that HIS Daily Teachings is just that big and takes a long time for me in my humanness to process.
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. " Proverbs 3:5-6
HE is wanting me to know that I can't even begin to fathom what my FAITH in HIM says to other CHOSEN people of FAITH about their own FAITH and trust in HIM. HE is telling me that HE is not speaking HIS word so that I will think that I am bigger or better than anyone, rather that I will be able to speak HIS word boldly and courageously when the enemy comes prowling around. HIS message to me today is this, "The evil one will always be after you, he hates you, however I have a plan, and you must TRUST me, by leaning in, and pressing deep into your FAITH and TRUST in ME, to know that I have this all worked out, I have a plan, an amazing plan, and I can't wait to reveal it all to you. HOLD FAST my precious daughter Heather, cling tight to MY promises to you, and SEE all that I have done, am doing and will do is ALL for GOOD. When you rise sing of MY praises, tell them to all who can hear, and share them with your family. Continue to seek ME, and wait for ME to reveal MYSELF to you, and to the world. Through you I will show the world how even the smallest of these, will be the greatest of these."
" Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the door frames of your houses and on your gates." Deuteronomy 6:5-9
Once again I am in complete awe of HIS FAITHFULNESS to me, in showing me and reminding me over and over that HE is there, HE is my ROCK, my SHELTER, my COMFORTER, my PROTECTOR, and my FORTRESS. HE is filling me with HIS promises once again, as I have begun to shrink back, and have been walking timidly with HIM leading me. HE is wanting me to always know and remember that HE is there, helping me with everything, that even when it hurts, especially when it hurts, HE is there, and in HIS timing and HIS provision HE will work everything out for HIS good.
"The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold." Psalm 18:2
HE is telling me that my mission, HIS purpose, my purpose in this life is simply this. Live it, love it, tell it, share it, to all WHO can hear and know so that they too will SEE that HE can, will, and does take the smallest of these, and build them strong to become the greatest of these!" HE is wanting me to TRUST HIM, to know that even though things are so incredibly hard, and overwhelming difficult in my life right now, that HE promises to NEVER leave me nor forsake me, that HE will always be there to help me, and when I seek HIM, HE will continue to BUILD me STRONG, so that NOTHING, NOT ONE THING will cause me to waiver from my FAITH and TRUST in HIM.
"But I will sing of your strength, in the morning I will sing of your love; for you are my fortress, my refuge in times of trouble" Psalm 59:16
I can tell you that had this portion of my journey come earlier in my walk with HIM, I was so weak, small, and timid in my FAITH. Too afraid to hope, to trust, to know, to believe that I, Heather, could possibly be CHOSEN, loved, as HIS special possession. I know that I would have fallen apart, broken down, lost FAITH, and would have given up. I would have thought that calling my son HOME was HIS punishment to me, and that truly I deserve nothing and no one good in my life. In even thinking about the hopelessness that I would have endured brings me to my knees with arms raised HIGH in PRAISE TO HIM, that because of HIS great love for me, HIS FAITHFULNESS I NEVER have to experience that way of living again!
"He is the Rock, his works are perfect, and all his ways are just. A faithful God who does no wrong, upright and just is he." Deuteronomy 32:4
The truth is this: HE has the last word, HE is SOVEREIGN, HE knows my days, has them numbered, and my name is etched in the palm of HIS hand. My children's days are numbered, and their angels, HIS angels are there protecting them, my angels, HIS angels are there protecting me. Breathing HIS strength and HIS peace into me and through me, through them, into them, so that we will all be made STRONG in our weakness, so that our family, who once had small doubt filled FAITH, are being made STRONG, FAITHFUL, HUMBLE, SERVANTS WHO rely solely on our FAITH in HIM that HE is SOVEREIGN, and HE has everything worked out for HIS good. That through HIM we are more than conquerors.
"Who is he who speaks and it comes to pass, When the Lord has not commanded it?" Lamentations 3:37
"But as for me, it is good to be near God. I have made the Sovereign Lord my refuge; I will tell of all your deeds." Psalm 73:28
"Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be." Psalm 139:16
"See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands; your walls are ever before me." Isaiah 49:16
"He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." Isaiah 40:29-31
" But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me." 2 Corinthians 12:9
"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28
" No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us." Romans 8:37
Through HIS FAITHFULNESS HE led me straight to VICTORY yesterday over one of my greatest fears. Since Monday October 13,2014 the worst day of my life, happened.... I have been too afraid, terrified actually, to sleep, rather nap in my bed at 2 p.m. HE had been working hard on my heart to TRUST HIM, to know that HE is there, even when I am sleeping, that HIS angels are there to protect me, that even if something else bad happens, HE has it all worked out, and I'm going to be okay. HE knew just how badly I needed HIS blessed assurance that I was going to be okay, that HE made it so that I would be overcome with exhaustion, where I would have no other choice but to nap.
I can tell you that as soon as I realized what HE was leading me to do, panic began to set it, and I ran to D's arms, and told him what was happening, I told him of my fear, and asked him to pray for me. I kissed him, told him I loved him, and told each of my children I loved them. With that I ascended the stairs of our home, and walked into my son's room with tears streaming down my face. I told him how much I missed him, and remembered being in his room sixteen weeks ago at that very time on the clock, knowing now that would be the last time I would ever see him alive again in this life.
Sobbing, I crawled onto my bed, grabbed my son's tweety bird, blankies, and jacket. I breathed in the lingering sweet scent of my son, wiped my tears, and clung for dear life to my son's earthly possessions. I cried out to HIM to please, please, please LORD drench me in your grace and flood me with your peace. With that I went into the deepest most peaceful sleep I have had since losing my precious little boy.
While napping, I had the most vivid, comforting dream about my son that I have had since he was called HOME. When I woke up, I was groggy, unsure, you know when you wake up and say things like, "how long was I asleep, what day is it? what time is it? where am I? who am I? what did I miss?" Yesterday I received another dosage of HIS Double Blessings. Yesterday I NOT only faced my fears, I CONQUERED my fears with HIM, and through HIM, and was able to share of HIS FAITHFULNESS and HIS GOODNESS right away.
"For I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you." Isaiah 41:13
Today I have been called to speak HIS truth, of all that HE is doing in my life. To be the voice, HIS voice of sorrow, sadness, pain, anguish, and grief. To let it be known in me and through me, that its okay to admit when I am weak, as HE will use my weakness to display HIS strength. HE is wanting me to know that HE has asked me to live out my journey of sorrow, sadness, pain, and grief, in real time so that my story, HIS story will be lived out for all the world to know and SEE that in all of it, HE is truly in the details. HE is wanting me to know that I may never know till I get to HEAVEN what an impact my story has made on the lives of this broken and fallen world, full of the last, the least, and the lost.
"You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven." Matthew 5:14-16
"being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." Philippians 1:6
Through the loving words my of my sweet soul sister K, and my best friend, "your story is going to change the world, you have no idea just how much it's going to change the world. I don't think you even know what a change your life is to this world, and how your bravery to share it is changing the world. You my friend are a world changer."
Today the FIRE that has been lit is burning BRIGHT, and I'm going to do what HE tells me to do, in sharing HIS good news, sharing HIS message of HOPE, by being HIS living vessel in living my FAITH out loud, as HIS ambassador to do HIS good works, to be HIS hands and feet, in choosing to LOVE people, as HE loves them. To live my life knowing that I have been CHOSEN, that HE is HOLY, and I am called, and was created on purpose for HIS purpose, to live out my purpose to be HOLY just as HE is. Today instead of shrinking back, hiding in my shell, I have decided to FOLLOW JESUS, and there is NO turning back!!!
My Dear Brothers and Sisters in CHRIST JESUS, it is my fervent prayer that you will come to know HIM as I know HIM. That you will experience HIS GOODNESS, GREATNESS, FAITHFULNESS, MERCY, and LOVE. I pray today that if you are hurting because of the happenings of this world, that you will surrender, lean in a press into your FAITH in HIM, and let HIM lead you safely to HIS arms. I pray that you will come to know HIM as your source of STRENGTH, HOPE, LOVE, PEACE, and COMFORT. I pray today that HE will drench you in HIS grace, and flood you with HIS peace, so that you will be able to face whatever test, trial, or storm you may be in. I pray today that in my sharing my story with you, you will be encouraged to know that NOTHING that happens in this life will EVER separate you from HIM. I pray today that you will know that HE will anchor you to HIM, that HE will hold you tight, that HE will carry you, and when you come out on the other side, the sun will shine brighter than ever before, and you too will be able to say "ALL with HIM, and NOTHING without HIM!" It is my prayer that you too will be living out HIS message of HOPE and LOVE of "the smallest of these will be the greatest of these."
Love and prayer always,
Your Sister in CHRIST JESUS,
~ Heather
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