Thursday, September 12, 2013

"drown my sorrows"

Yesterday I began the grueling task of packing up our home.  As I filled each of the boxes fear and sadness over took my heart and mind.  Fear as D and I haven't a clue as to where we are going to live as of yet.  Fear as D starts his new job on Monday, therefore the children and I are going to be here without him.  Fear as I will have to do the packing by myself, and maintain the household, and be both Mama and Daddy.  

Sadness as D is home to us, he is what makes our house a home.  D brings such an amazing balance to our family.  He is much more level headed than I am.  Sadness as I will be sleeping alone, which I hate, and never do well.  Sadness as I won't be able to "hear" if one of the children cry out.  Sadness as it is all hitting me like a ton of bricks just how much I rely on D, and how I am going to be doing this alone for at least two weeks.  

With all of this sadness and fear running through me, the one thing I knew I could turn to was food.  Sadly I didn't "think" to turn to HIM.  No, I turned to food, I began to "drown my sorrows" in food.  I have been eating when I am stressed.  I have been eating when I am bored.  I have been eating when I am angry.  HIS Daily Teachings today was to let me know that HE is my source of strength, comfort, and HE is the only one who can bring me pure joy.  Today I must turn to HIM, and "stand up" to the fear and sadness that is attacking me, and speak HIS truth to it. 

GOD is wanting me to know today what food isn't for.  I am thankful to hear this as once again I am spiraling out of control.  Once again, I have push my health to the back burner of my life.  Once again, HE is rescuing me, and saving me from my self-destruction.

In my current read it is clearly written what food is NOT for:

Food is NOT for drowning my sorrows ~ 

"Surely he took up our pain and bore our suffering, yet we considered him punished by God, stricken by him, and afflicted." Isaiah 53:4

HE is wanting me to know that HE is the one who carries my sorrows.  HE is the one who will go to the source of my ache and bring healing and speak HIS truth.  When I am confused and in pain, HE will bring me to freedom and clarity in the situation that I am in.  All I have to do is ask HIM, and HE can, HE will, and HE does, every single time.  I must seek HIM to lift me from my sorrows, and not "drown my sorrows" in food.  Today HE is wanting me to know that rather than trying to "drown my sorrows" in food, I should try fasting, and praying.  I must seek HIM to help me through the sorrows of my life.  I must seek HIM and ask HIM to teach, lead, and guide me through every single moment of my day.

Food is NOT an outlet for anger ~

"Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret—it leads only to evil." Psalm 37:8

HE is letting me know that by choosing to eat when I am angry only feeds my inability to practice self-restraint when I find myself in difficult situations.   HE is wanting me to know that when I am angry I must get away from my kitchen, so that my mind will be taken off of food, and be put on HIM.  I am learning that instead of reaching for that bag of chips, or tub of ice cream, I must say no to myself, and YES to HIM!  I am learning that I am saying YES by walking away from kitchen, and getting outside, and going for a walk.  It has been through my walks that I have had my most memorable moments with my SAVIOR.  I must seek HIM to calm my anger, and allow HIM to restore and renew my heart, soul, and mind.

Food is NOT a cure for boredom ~ 

"Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me." Psalm 51:12

HE is wanting me to know that it is especially important that when find myself bored, that I must seek HIM.  I am learning that I am easily entertained, and will allow my mind and heart to be filled with Satan's useless garbage for my life.  Therefore, I must seek HIM, and allow HIM to teach me, and fill me with HIS word, and HIS truth.  I must not look for the "cheap fix" and instead meditate on HIS Daily Teachings for my life.  I believe that HE is wanting me to know that HIS Daily Teachings, wasn't just to reach the broken and the lost, but rather to hold me accountable to what I am writing about.  HE is wanting me to know that HE will continue to seek me daily, therefore I must be ready, and I can't be ready for HIM, if I am being filled by anything less than what HE is wanting to nourish me with.

Food is not only meant to fuel me, but it for my enjoyment too ~ 

"Nehemiah said, “Go and enjoy choice food and sweet drinks, and send some to those who have nothing prepared. This day is holy to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.” Nehemiah 8:10

Today HE is wanting me to know that it is okay to celebrate with food.  HE is wanting me to know that it is okay to celebrate every once in a while.  I must not make it a daily thing.  I must not put so much emphasis on the food I am going to consume, rather how I am going to be be spiritually fed, so that I can be spiritually lead.   I am learning that if I don't allow myself to be fueled by HIM, I will turn to the wrong things to bring me fulfillment, and in the end all I do find is heartache, tears, and ten extra pounds.

So today instead of reaching for the chips, and the leftover snacks from our vacation, I will reach for HIM.  I will seek HIM to teach, lead, and guide me through every single obstacle that I face today.  Today when I find myself be overcome by emotion, I will seek HIM, as HE is my refuge, and my strength.  Today when my life's uncertainty and anxiety start to rise, I will stand up against the currant that is trying to take me way from HIM.  I will stand firmly on HIS word, and HIS truth for my life.  Today I will mediate once again on my life verse:

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

I pray today that you won't "drown your sorrows" in food, but rather that you will seek HIM to nourish your every need.   I pray that you will know that HE is your source of comfort and strength. I pray today that HE will reveal HIMSELF to you and show you HIS plans for your life.  I pray today that you will stand up against the currant that is taking you away from HIM.  I pray today for you to have the courage to speak boldly HIS word, and HIS truth for your life.


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