GOD has really been working on my heart about letting go of my incessant need to compare myself to someone who I "think" is a "Rockstar" HE has let me know that I am unique, and there has never been nor will there ever be anyone who is just like me. HE has let me know that there isn't nor will there ever be anyone whose life is just like mine. HE wants me to know that HE created me specifically for HIS purpose, therefore, I must seek HIM earnestly, and allow HIM to teach, lead, and guide me through every single moment of my life. I must surrender, and allow HIM to "balance" out my life so that I will have true inner peace.
I am learning that all that matters at the end of the day is that everything I say and do is good and pleasing to HIM.
"For we are to God the pleasing aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing." 2 Corinthians 2:15
Today I am learning that GOD doesn't want me to simply "appear" to have it all together. HE wants me to shift my focus onto HIM, and allow HIM to fill me with HIS peace. Today HE has let me know that HE created me to surrender to HIM. HE created me to long for HIM, and to want to seek HIM every day of my life. I am learning that through each storm I go through, HE has already been there. HE knows the outcome, and knows how I am going to react. HE is asking me to seek HIM in every area of my life, and let go.... and let HIM take over. HE is telling me when I surrender HE can, will, and does fill me with HIS wonderful love, grace, and peace.
HE has revealed to me this morning that the reason I work so hard on perfecting my appearance, is because while I can't control much in my life, my outer appearance is something I can. HE has shown me that while I am working so hard on "perfecting" my appearance, inside I am one "hot mess."
I am so thankful that my SAVIOR sees the "hot mess" that I am and doesn't allow me to stay that way for very long. I am thankful that HE seeks me daily and ask me to let go.... and let HIM take over. I am thankful that HE knows me and loves me best, therefore I must trust that HIS way is so much better than "my way."
GOD has let me know this morning that when I seek HIM for balance in my life, not only will I "look" more put together, but I will be able to maintain my life and actually have more of the areas of my life together. I am learning that this is my "heart's cry." I no longer want to just be one "hot mess" all of the time. I want to have balance in my life. I have been praying for and seeking balance for quite some time in my life now.
Being a mama of five children and wife to D, makes it hard for me to maintain a "balance" in my life. There are several mom's in my life who I "think" are "rockstars." I used to go to a women's group and there was a whole group of women who I "thought" were "rockstars." I remember not ever talking to them, but just staring at them, taking it all in, from their clothes, to their hair, to their smiles, makeup, what kind of purse they carried. Wow, I mean they just had it all together. Even the way they spoke, and their ability to smile, and laugh even though things may not have been necessarily good in their lives. I remember leaving that group every week "wishing" that I could be more like them.
Since then GOD has placed quite a few women in my life who are true "Rockstars." I know that they are true "Rockstars," because they don't sugar coat anything. They have allowed me to see the "hot mess" that they are inside too. They are real, and authentic, and totally unique. I am thankful to be blessed by the "Rockstars" in my life, who keep me balanced in my "thinking." I am thankful that the "Rockstars" in my life keep me accountable to what GOD'S best is for my life.
GOD has lovingly reminded me once again that to be a true "Rockstar" I must surrender all of me to HIM. I must seek HIM. I must find my identity in HIM. I must let HIM reveal my self-worth. I must see myself through HIS eyes. I must let go of my incessant need to "appear" put together. I must allow myself to be humbled, as it is when I fall apart, that I find HIM. As my Pastor has been saying for quite sometime, you will find out who you are, when you know WHOSE you are.
Today I am thankful that identity can only be found in HIM. I am thankful that HE is the only one who knows the plans for my life. Today HE wants me to understand what balance isn't, through my current read titled: "Balance that Works When Life Doesn't." by Susie Larson
"Balance is not.... a perfectly managed schedule."
GOD has reminded me once again that HE calls me to love HIM, and love people. HE has let me know that my true purpose is to serve HIM and others. HE doesn't want me to manage every area of my life, rather HE wants me to keep my eyes and ears focused on HIM in what HE is saying to me. HE doesn't want me to master my schedule for my life. HE has let me know that the more I "try" to manage the schedule for my life, the more I will miss out on the people HE has place in my life for HIS purpose. HE has let me know that when I keep my focus on maintaining my "appearance," I miss out on the amazing opportunities HE wants to use me to carry out HIS blessings for others.
"True balance has a flexibility and adaptability to it."
"True balance makes the plan, but allows the LORD to determine the steps."
"In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps." Proverbs 16:9
GOD has let me know that when I let go of my "needing" to control my life, and seek HIM earnestly. HE can, will, and does provide the balance that I need for my life. HE has proven time and again to me that HIS plans for my life, are far greater than I could possibly imagine. HE doesn't want me to "feel" unbalanced in any area of my life. HE wants to free me from my feelings of being frustrated, angry, anxious, and frantic. Therefore, I must surrender all of me, and let HIM take over. I must allow HIS truth to reveal the "Rockstar" in me.