When I first hear my Pastor speak those words this past Sunday, I "thought" I knew what HE was saying to me, however, as you can see it's taken me quite some time to blog once again, and I believe it is because HE was priming me for something so much bigger than I could even imagine.
11 years ago today, D and I suffered our first miscarriage. I can easily close my eyes today, and remember exactly what happened that day. To how we felt, what was said, how our two little girls reacted. I remember driving to the hospital for my ultrasound, and I remember every feeling of emotion I had, but the one thing I don't remember is thinking, "HE is with me."
HIS Daily Teachings today is showing me that I wasn't able to think that then, because 11 years ago, that HE was NOT where my trust lies. HE is showing me this morning that 11 years ago I didn't have a clue as to WHO HE was, IS, and will continue to be. 11 years ago is the moment where I suffered complete devastation, and I was rocked to my core. 11 years ago is when HE finally captured my heart, and I was able to say, "LORD, oh how I need YOU!"
Looking back and thinking about that very moment where I realized that I was at a crossroads, and knew that I had two choices I could make. One, I knew that I could run towards HIM, with all that I am and all that I have, I could give it all up to HIM. Two, I knew that I could slam the door, and NEVER look back. As you can see, I chose door #1, and I can honestly say that I have NEVER regretted the choice that I made that day!
HE is wanting me to know that it has been throughout the past 11 years that HE has been priming me for this very moment. The moment where I would truly be able to know and understand where trust lies in my life. HE is reminding me that though it hasn't been easy, it's been bearable, as I was able to let go..... and let HIM take control of my life.
I never would have imagined that 11 years later where I would be in my walk with HIM, thankfully HE knew, and I BELIEVE with ALL my heart, soul, mind, and strength that HE couldn't wait to show me the plans that HE had in store for me!
" And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength. This is the first commandment." Mark 12:30
Ten months ago when I made the decision that I needed HIM in everything I did, said, or thought, was when HE lit a fire deep within me. That fire today now has a name, and that is more. Each morning I wake up and journal and write the same line, "more of you LORD JESUS, and so much less of me." In my quest for more, HE is telling me what I need to know in order to live out more.
This morning HE is taking me back to this past Sunday where I received HIS teaching through my Pastor. HE is wanting me to know that the answer to more for my life, can be achieved by following the following 7 steps:
1) Virtue ~ I must choose to reflect the character of CHRIST ~ I must choose to be like HIM
"But also for this very reason, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue, to virtue knowledge, to knowledge self-control, to self-control perseverance, to perseverance godliness, to godliness brotherly kindness, and to brotherly kindness love." 2 Peter 1:5-7
2) Knowledge ~ I must choose to seek HIM daily, and ask HIM to shower me with HIS knowledge so that I will know how to live out my day. So that I will follow HIS will and HIS plans for my life.
"For the Lord gives wisdom; From His mouth come knowledge and understanding" Proverbs 2:6
"When wisdom enters your heart, And knowledge is pleasant to your soul" Proverbs 2:10
"Teach me good judgment and knowledge, For I believe Your commandments." Psalm 119:66
3) Discipline ~ I must choose to seek HIM Daily, so that I will be under HIS protection, so that I will be filled by HIS word, so that I will then be able to go out and make good choices for my life. I must let go of my incessant "need" to be "feelings lead." I must choose to take the thoughts that come into my mind captive that are anything less than good, honoring, and pleasing to HIM.
"casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ" 2 Corinthians 10:5
4) Endurance ~ I must say that the only option for me is perseverance. I must choose to strike the word
" Blessed is the man who endures temptation; for when he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him." James 1:12
"And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope. Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us." Romans 5:3-5
"And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart." Galatians 6:9
" For you have need of endurance, so that after you have done the will of God, you may receive the promise" Hebrews 10:36
"But he who endures to the end shall be saved" Matthew 24:13
5) Godliness ~ I must continue to be aware at all times of WHO HE is, WHAT HE has done, and WHAT HE WILL do. I must know that where trust lies is with HIM. HE has proven to me time and again how much HE loves me, and has taken me through the hardest moments of my life. HE is showing me that HE loves me too much to let me stay right where I am, and that HIS only plan for my life is to bring me closer to HIM, and so if that means my suffering, and enduring trials and tribulations then so be it!
6) Affection ~ I must choose to seek HIS love and ask HIM to create in me a heart for people To allow me to see them through HIS eyes, so that I will then be able to love as HE loves. I am learning that in choosing to seek HIS love, I am also being given the ability to forgive just as HE forgives. HE is wanting me to know that I am called to love as HE loves, and when I do that, my faith in HIM grows, and it is then in that moment where I, and everyone around me will know where my trust lies.
7) love ~ I must choose to do HIS will as I know HE loves me. HE loved me 11 years ago when I miscarried. HE loved me so much then that HE wouldn't let me go. HE brought me to my knees so that I would seek HIM, to allow HIM to transform and renew my life. HE loved me so much that HE has brought immense healing to my broken soul, and has continued to build my spirit within so that I would be able to boldly declare that I am HIS, and HE is mine!
This morning HE is taking me back to where I first met with HIS Daily Promises of HOPE, that have been given to me by my faith in HIM as HE is my SAVIOR! HE is wanting me to know that by choosing to grow with HIM Daily, is, was, and will continue to be HIS plan for my life.
HE is wanting me to know that the more desire that grows more intense with each day passing means that I must choose to be a spiritual contributor, meaning, I must serve others. HE is wanting me to know and fully understand that this means I am to be a MISFIT in this world, as I am NOT of this world.
This past week I began homeschooling my 9 year old daughter, and today we will be on day 4 of teaching. It has brought so much JOY, HONOR, and PEACE to me in knowing that I, Heather, her Mama have been chosen to teach, lead, and guide her with her education. I am thankful that HE has opened my eyes, heart, soul, and mind to HIS Daily Teachings, so that I am able to share with her what HE has done for my life.
Before we begin our school day, I hold her hands and I pray out loud for my words to be anointed as they are HIS words. I pray for knowledge and wisdom for both of us, so that we will know what it is that HE is teaching us that day. After our prayer time, we do our daily devotional. It is so good for my soul to hear my daughter pray out loud and seek HIM, and ask HIM to pour HIS favor and blessings over her little life. How amazing it is to me, that is such a little person, what HUGE faith lies. I am thankful that HE is showing me once again that in choosing to TRUST HIM with WHO I am called to be, that I can boldly say where my trust lies.
I pray today is the start of your journey in seeking the answer where trust lies for your life. I pray that you will seek HIS will for your life, as HE is the only one with your best interest at heart. I pray that you will have the courage to say no to this world, and yes to HIM. I pray for HIS favor and blessings to be poured over your life when you choose to let go..... and let HIM teach, lead, and guide you through every single step of your journey towards wholeness with HIM.