HIS Daily Teachings today is showing me another part of my heart that is housing a stronghold that I don't acknowledge nearly enough, and that it is wreaking havoc on my maturing and growth process of my FAITH and knowledge of HIM, and in keeping me in right standing with HIM. Today HE is letting me know that my foolish pride is a HUGE stronghold in my life, and today HE is showing me just how much I let my foolish pride get in the way of HIM creating in me a humble heart.
When I first realized what HE was going to be teaching me today, I have to say I began to cringe, and hoped that our conversation would deviate from correction, rather just loving guidance. Then it hit me, that HIS correction really is HIS loving guidance. HE is letting me know that it is because I was raised by strict people, who only showed me love when I did the right thing. Never when I did the wrong thing did they show me love.
HE is wanting me to know that it is because I was raised on conditional love that I am unable to accept any sort of correction or criticism. Today is another heart surgery in showing me that while that may have been what love looked like to me in the past, that certainly isn't how love is in my present, or what HE has planned for my future. Today HE is asking me to let go of my pride, and my perception of what I "think" is someones agenda for either correcting me or criticizing me.
Today HE is creating in me a humble heart so that I will be able to receive HIS loving correction and guidance as to how I am to be living my life. HE is letting me know that HIS correction is HIS gift to me, as HE doesn't want to see me hurt, and doesn't want me to live my life in a way that is anything less than HIS amazing plans for me. However, in my humanness I struggle with my pride, and even though I know this, in the moment where I "feel" attacked, I revert right back into my old patterns, where I become defensive, deflect attention from myself, and begin to rant about all the wrong things someone else did.
HE is letting me know that HIS correction today in revealing my pride is HIS loving way of setting me free from my stronghold of pride that is keeping me from being the woman of FAITH that HE has created me to be. HE is wanting me to know that in order from me to grow in my FAITH I must choose to trust HIM, and know that HE truly does love me, and wants what is best for me. HE is telling me that until I see, and seek HIS perspective I will be allowing history to repeat itself.
HE is wanting me to write it deep into my heart that HIS word is HIS gift to me, a treasure map, one that leads me straight to HIS heart. That to me is my greatest treasure, as I am seeking HIS heart daily,and asking HIM to create in me a heart like HIS. It is because of my seeking HIM, that today HE is asking me to allow HIM to create in me a humble heart.
Even just hearing that my heart isn't humble is hard for me. I find myself wanting to place blame on my circumstances, and say that it isn't fair that I always have to be the one WHO does the right thing. It is disheartening to me to hear that even though I have come so far in my FAITH, I still have so much more to learn when it comes to having a humble heart.
Today HE is letting me know that HE delights in me, and because of that I must allow HIM to create in me a humble heart as I will know that HIS correction is really HIS blessing to me. HE is wanting me to know that HIS correction is really for my benefit, as HE doesn't want to see me hurt by my thinking that HIS love is conditional. HE is wanting me to know that no matter how long it takes HE will continue to teach and show me and prove to me that HIS love is unconditional.
HE is telling me that this means that no matter how many times I mess up, and repeat past mistakes, HE is going to be there, providing HIS loving correction, and continuing to create in me a humble heart. HE is wanting me to know that HE never gets tired of teaching me or telling me, rather HE delights in me, and the more I grow in my FAITH because of HIS loving correction, the more I remember all HE has done for me, is doing, and will continue to do. HE is telling me that each time I seek HIM, and HIS will for my life, I shouldn't be surprised that it comes with correction. After all, if I didn't need correction, that would mean I already have a humble heart, and that would mean that I already have a heart like HIS.
HIS loving reminder to me this morning is this: I am always going to need HIM, as I was created to need HIM. HE never intended for me or anyone else for that matter to live this life by ourselves. HE is wanting me to know that this is the very reason why HE has placed the people in my life to carry out HIS teachings of creating in me a humble heart. Today HE is telling me it's time I say no to my pride, and allow HIM to open my heart, and show HIM the ugliness that lies inside. Not because HE doesn't already know, but because I have yet to fully acknowledge it.
HE is wanting me to confess the bitterness that dwells within me, and the anger and resentment I have towards people of whom I "feel" only talk to me when I do something wrong, or who I "feel" just can't wait to show me when I mess up. Today HE is exposing the lies deep within that have kept me in bondage with my pride, as I am learning that what brews in my heart, eventually escapes from my lips.
"But the things that come out of a person’s mouth come from the heart, and these defile them." Matthew 15:18
"The tongue has the power of life and death,
In knowing this, and knowing that my words have the power to either bring life or death to someone, I really need to allow HIM to change my heart, to renew my knowledge of what HIS love really is for me, that it really is unconditional.
"Follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved children" Ephesians 5:1
Today HE is wanting me to know that HE is creating in me a humble heart so that I will receive healing to my broken heart, of which only knows of conditional love. HE is telling me that it's time that I fully understand that each of HIS Daily Teachings is for me, and not to me. Not to point out all that I am doing wrong, but rather to encourage me and to help me navigate this complicated thing called life.