HIS Daily Teachings has been a culmination of teachings for the past few weeks, preparing me to know and understand what this means for my life. HE is wanting me to know that HE knows how badly I have been hurt, am hurting, and will continue to hurt in my lifetime. This however, does NOT mean that I can't still do HIS good works. After all, it is because HE loves me that HE has been teaching, leading, and guiding me to know and understand that even during pain and affliction, I, Heather am in RIGHT STANDING with HIM, therefore I can think, act, and speak right because I, Heather have the RIGHTEOUSNESS OF CHRIST JESUS in me.
"God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God." 2 Corinthians 5:21
Whew!!! Friends I don't know about you, but man that just really FIRES me up. I must tell you when HE first placed this idea deep into my heart, I was terrified. Terrified that somehow, if I were to continue doing HIS good works, that somehow I would forget about my son. What I have realized, through HIS teachings is that Satan would LOVE NOTHING more than for me to think that my purpose in this life is to MOURN the loss of my precious son Seth. Don't get me wrong this is a part of my calling, but friends, I must understand that my calling is far GREATER than just being in mourning! Friends, my calling is to know and understand that I am TRULY BLESSED because I am mourning, and while I'm in mourning, no matter how long I'm mourning, HE is there, and HE is comforting me!!!!
"Blessed are those who mourn,
Okay, so I know what your thinking, Blessed to Mourn, really??? I know, I struggled at first too, but what I can tell you is this. When I first lost Seth, which will be eight months ago tomorrow. I was devastated, leveled, shattered, destroyed, heartbroken, you name it, I was it. However, the more I grew in mourning, the more I began to understand what it meant for me to be blessed to mourn, as I looked around, and met several people WHOM don't have HIM in their lives, who don't know where to find comfort, and honestly that broke my heart even more. Because NOT only were they mourning the loss of their precious child, their hurt was ongoing, and unending, some for even over 30 years.
The more I read blogs, stories, comments from people WHO have been in mourning for over half their lives, and felt that life was meaningless since their child left..... honestly a RIGHTEOUS ANGER began to grow from deep within me, and it was then and ONLY then that I realized that I, Heather, bereaved Mama to Seth have been called to DO HIS good works, so that I would be HIS ambassador to share HIS message of HOPE to those WHO are in Mourning that HE is there, and HE will comfort them, if and only when they choose to call on HIM.
"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose" Romans 8:28
The more I walk in this journey of grief, I am learning that I, Heather, GET TO BE the face, the voice of a Mama's loss.that is ANCHORED in HIS HOPE through my FAITH and complete TRUST in HIM. The further I get in my journey with HIM, I am learning that HE is equipping me to help other bereaved Mama's and honestly just women WHO are hurting in general. So much in fact that ALL I have heard HIM speak straight to my heart for the past few weeks is,
"NOW is the time, NOW is the time for you to put MY PLAN into action. NO more talking about it, thinking about it, hiding from it, NOW is the time to do MY good works, as I have prepared for you to do so."
"We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure." Hebrews 6:19
By now I'm sure your asking yourself, well what are HIS good works that HE'S calling you to do? Honestly friends, had HE NOT placed this on my heart two years ago, I would think I was going crazy, as I would have NEVER dreamed that HE would call me to do something in the midst of mourning the loss of my sweet precious son Seth. For the past few weeks, HE has had me purchase several items that are KEY components to continuing HIS ministry in me and through me to reach HIS broken and lost children. HE has been preparing me to open my home to broken and lost people, to come into my home, HIS precious gift to me, so that they may know and experience HIS great LOVE for them. HE is preparing me to be HIS light in such a way, that even I am surprised, as I NEVER dreamed HE would ask anything like this of me, especially now.
"But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light." 1 Peter 2:9
However, since I know HE is SOVEREIGN and HE directs my every single step, I know that because I am feeling unsure, and uncomfortable, then it is surely HIS calling for my life, as HE NEVER calls me to do something that is easy, much less comfortable. In the next few weeks HE is having me open the doors to my home at least three days a week, for women to gather, in a place where they can be prayed for, prayed over, and lifted up to HIM no matter what they may be going through, or have gone through. This ministry to what HE is leading me to has been given the name of "Cup of Grace."
"See to it that you complete the ministry you have received in the Lord." Colossians 4:17
HIS message to me today is LOUD and CLEAR that I, Heather am NOT here to just be, Mama, wife, friend, daughter, sister, neighbor....... NO my JOB here is to do HIS good works, by LOVING ALL of those people, including people WHO are most difficult to LOVE, as they are the ONES WHOM HE is going to use my story to reach.
"My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you." John 15:12
Today I'm ALL in, I've decided to follow JESUS and there is NO turning back for me! Today I am seeking HIM with ALL that I am, and allowing HIM to work in me and through me, to prepare me, to fill me with HIS word, HIS power so that I am able to do what it is that HE has called me to do. Today HE has set a FIRE so deep down in my soul that it's time, time for me to FIGHT back to KICK the DEVIL in the teeth, and let him know that I'm NOT going down with this, my life is NOT over, NO it's just begun, and I'm NOT going to sit back, and allow myself to be RUN over by this bus anymore, NO I'm going to pick myself up, I'm going to stand, I'm going to DO what it is HE'S called me to do, no matter what the cost, no matter what I may lose, or have to give up, I know that HE has something amazing planned for me, and I TRUST and know that HE is going to BLESS me in my obedience, and I know that HE is going to use me to be a world changer, and frankly that thought terrifies the devil!!!!
Today I am NOT afraid, I am NOT going to SHRINK BACK, I am NOT going to LIE DOWN anymore!!! Today I know HIS power is in me, the same power that ROSE JESUS from the dead that overcame death, and conquered the grave!!!!! HIS power is in me,and through HIM and with HIM HE is going to make me, create me, shape me, mold me to be A WOMAN OF GOD a STRONG, FIERCE, BRAVE, COURAGEOUS WOMAN OF GOD WHO will do HIS good works!!! Today I am applying ALL of HIS teachings from the past few months that have been HIS way of equipping me for this moment in my journey, that in order to do HIS good works, I must put my work boots on, and for me that also means that I must get ready to DRIVE THE BUS, as I have been called to BE THE BUS DRIVER!!!!
It is within EVERY single fiber of my being that I want to BE THE WOMAN WHOM gets out of bed every single morning, and SATAN cringes, as he knows that I'm up, and I'm ready. I've got my work boots on and I'm ready to BE the BUS DRIVER. My greatest hearts desire is to be made RIGHT and NEW in HEART and in SPIRIT EVERY single morning with HIM. I desire to have a clean heart about ALL things, and to ONLY SEE through HIS vision this world, and everything in it. It is my desire to grow and learn EVERY single day what it means to truly be in this world, and NOT of it. It is my desire to grow and know WHO HE is in my life, in ALL ways, and to acknowledge HIM in EVERY single area of my life. It is my desire to NEVER forget WHOSE I am and to STAND FIRM that I am WHO I am, because of WHOSE I am, and that is HIS Daughter, the Daughter to the KING.
"Create in me a pure heart, O God,
Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will." Romans 12:2
My Dear Brothers and Sisters in CHRIST JESUS, I pray today that you too will come to know that you are HIS, you matter, HE loves and cares for you deeply. HE has amazing plans for your life, and if you too are mourning, hurting, or are in pain, HE is there, and HE is the ONLY source of comfort that you will EVER need. I pray today that if you are caught in the trap of hangups, and hurts from others, that you will LET go, and LET HIM free you from the pit of lies that the enemy has been feeding you. I pray today you will have the courage to seek HIM, and allow HIM to work in you and through you, so that your TRUE PURPOSE will be revealed, as HE takes your greatest hurt, and turns it into HIS message through you. I pray today that you too will STAND UP, STAND FIRM and say that you too will NO longer be a victim to the bus of life, and that with HIM and through HIM, you too will become a BUS DRIVER.
"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the , “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
Always in love, prayers, compassion, understanding, and grace,
Your Sister in CHRIST JESUS,