Tuesday, June 16, 2015


Yesterday was unlike any other day I've experienced since the loss of my precious one year old son Seth.  Yesterday I woke up feeling as though HE were telling something so incredibly important, but was going to make sure that I was fully understanding what it is that HE was telling me.  Yesterday HE made sure that I walked exactly where HE planned for me to walk, and I experienced the entire day just as HE had planned.

" For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." Ephesians 2:10

My day started out with a long conversation with D about my hurt "feelings."  He lovingly reminded me of how dangerous it is to be "feelings" led when it comes to make decisions, and thinking about HIS plan for me.  The more D spoke, the more my heart softened to those who have hurt or offended me, and the more I thought about them, the more I began to SEE them through HIS eyes.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart  and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6 

Our conversation took me back to a time where HE asked me to forgive people for far worse offenses in my life, and how eager and trusting I was to do just that.  D looked at me with love in his eyes and let me know that this isn't any different.  Well in a way it is, as these offenses were far less offensive than what I have already forgiven people for.  At the end of our talk, I felt clarity, peace of mind, and knew that by the end of the day, I would be on my way to a New vision, heart, perspective, and forgiveness.

"Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you." Colossians 3:13

At 10am I left with my four children and my oldest daughters best friend for a day of shopping.   We were shopping for my second oldest daughters graduation party.  We visited several stores, and ended up at the mall.  I had said to D that morning that I felt HIM wanting me to go to the book store for some inspiration for the ministry that I am to be starting in the next few weeks.  

As I made my way to the Christian Life section, I was drawn to look at the bibles.  It has always been a dream of mine to own a soft bible, and very quickly I picked one up, took one look at it and knew that it was to be my New Bible.  I began to pray about what HE was wanting me to know, and began praying for yet another breakthrough.  HE answered, by leading me straight to a New Devotional called "JESUS Calling" by Sarah Young.  The more I walked around the store, the more I prayed to HIM and well in my humanness asked if HE was sure that I am supposed to be starting this ministry.  To which HE answered by leading me straight to a New Journal that had a beautiful flower on it, and simply said "His grace is sufficient for me."  

"But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.  2 Corinthians 12:9

HE reminded me of my talk with D earlier that morning, as doubts had been creeping in about whether or not I was the right person for the job.  After all, I'm so young, well at least I "feel" like I am.  D assured me that age didn't matter, but Life experience did.  He reminded of why the blog is being followed, and read so much and that is because I write about my Life experiences, and share how HE gets me through each and every single test, trial and storm.

"being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." Philippians 1:6

“See to it that you complete the ministry you have received in the Lord.” Colossians 4:17

With my New purchases in hand I made my way to the register, of which I simply heard "Happy Birthday."  Tears began to well up in my eyes as I knew HE was speaking straight to my heart, in the most loving way, a way that specifically showed me just how much HE truly does love and care for me.  

Yesterday was a New day, a New beginning, a New breakthrough, for the New me who had been blessed with a New perspective, New vision, with New eyes, and a New heart so that I, Heather, HIS daughter could continue on this path, HIS plan, full of HIS purpose to be my purpose to LIVE this life that I have been given knowing that I'm made right through HIM, and because of that NOTHING NOT ONE thing can STOP what HE has planned for me to do. 

"The Lord of Heaven’s Armies has spoken—  who can change his plans?
When his hand is raised, who can stop him?” Isaiah 14:27
This morning I woke up feeling lighter, and more free.  I couldn't wait to journal my thoughts, and when I did, HE answered me in the most loving way that ONLY HE my loving FATHER in HEAVEN could.  As I poured my heart out about how it is my greatest hearts desire to be walking so closely to HIM, that there isn't anyway I would EVER miss a single word that HE speaks to my heart.    I praised HIM for being TRUSTWORTHY, and for FORGIVING me.  I praised HIM for loving me so perfectly, and for showing me that ALL I ever NEED to do is ask HIM, and HE will give me my hearts desire when it aligns according to HIS will.

" Furthermore, because we are united with Christ, we have received an inheritance from God, for he chose us in advance, and he makes everything work out according to his plan." Ephesians 1:11

"And we know that God causes everything to work together[a] for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them." Romans 8:28

The more I journaled, the more I felt HIS PEACE wash over me, and my breathing became lighter, and the sorrow, the sadness, the anger, the everything began to wash away.  The more I continued to seek HIM, the more all of the darkness that was clouding my vision, and my heart, was washed away by HIS blinding bright light.  HIS truth, HIS plan, HIS purpose for my life, were set before me once again, as HE spoke straight to my heart about what HIS plan for the New chapter would require of me.  

"The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it." John 1:5

"But the plans of the Lord stand firm forever, the purposes of his heart through all generations" Psalm 33:11

"fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God." Hebrews 12:2

HE really blew me away in answering a thought I was pondering last night in a conversation with D.  It was based on a picture, a post of facebook.  A picture of a bench, over looking an ocean, the question was, "if you could spend an hour on this bench with someone alive or already passed who would it be?"  Immediately I thought of my sweet Sethie, but the more I thought about spending an hour with him, I knew that wouldn't be long enough.  The more I thought about it the more I knew that I would choose to spend that hour with JESUS, as sort  of a progress check.  

What I mean is, it would be extremely encouraging for me to know how HE thinks I'm doing with ALL that has been happening in my life.  Sometimes I long to understand to know, to SEE past the circumstances of my life.  Most definitely when it comes to grieving the loss of my precious little boy.  I could almost imagine us sitting there, me laying my head on HIS shoulder as the tears fell as I spilled my heart out to HIM about how ALL of this is affecting me.  

"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit" Psalm 34:18

"I love the Lord, for he heard my voice;  he heard my cry for mercy." Psalm 116:1

"I call on the Lord in my distress, and he answers me." Psalm 120:1

I held tightly to that image as I began to think about Seth last night.  As you know yesterday was yet another Monday, and well to be honest, this Monday was different, as tears weren't flowing but an extreme amount of PEACE was felt.  I posted a picture on social media, with a love note to my sweet Sethie.  I told him that I am TRUSTING HIS plan, and that I was clinging to HIS promise that I would SEE him in my future where we would spend eternity together.  Afterwards I had yet another conversation with D about the days happenings, and went to sleep...... tearless...... and slept...... till 4am...... which for me is incredible.

"Hear my cry, O God;  listen to my prayer. From the ends of the earth I call to you,  I call as my heart grows faint; lead me to the rock that is higher than I. For you have been my refuge, a strong tower against the foe." Psalm 61:1-3

When I finished journaling this morning, HE spoke straight to my heart, that placed me on that bench right next to HIM.  HIS words spoke to deeply  to my heart this morning.

"Don't let your hurts cloud MY vision for you.  Hold tight to MY promises to you.  You my child have asked for a progress check, so here it is.  You, Heather NEED, MUST, FOCUS on MY LOVE for you. You NEED, MUST, FOCUS on MY word, soak in it, breathe it in, and LIVE it.  You NEED, MUST FOCUS on MY TRUTH as that is ALL that matters.  You NEED, MUST, FOCUS on MY light that will OVERCOME the Darkness that surrounds you.  You NEED, MUST, stay on MY PATH, by focusing on ONLY MY plan for your life.  You NEED, MUST, LIVE your life according to MY purpose for you.  Don't let your hurts keep you from ME.  Your hurts matter to ME, you, Heather matter to ME.  Remember that just as you matter, so do the people WHOM I have brought into your life to share MY love for them with.   When things seems to hard, or too much just remember MY grace is sufficient and will guide you every single step of the way."

Ahhhhhh I can breathe again, really truly breathe again, there it is right there.  HE knows how badly I am hurting by the things people do and say.  HE cares for my hurts, but doesn't want them to get in the way of HIS good works that HE is doing in me and through me.  HE is wanting me to keep my eyes focused on ONLY HIM, and know that HE promises to make ALL of the wrongs done unto me right in HIS timing, through HIS provision.  HE is giving me HIS perspective, my New perspective that no matter what happens in this life, it can't begin to compare to the GLORY that will be revealed when the time is right.  HE is wanting me to keep my EYES set on HIS GLORY, for my next life, of spending Eternity with HIM.

" I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us." Romans 8:18

The more I think about what that means for me, I can't wait to get to HEAVEN as I know a HUGE party is going to be thrown for me, as I NEVER gave up, and I NEVER gave in.  I NEVER stopped sharing HIS message of HOPE, and I NEVER stopped being HIS ambassador.  I am learning with each New test, trial, and storm that I, Heather am truly anchored in HIS hope, and the more the enemy realizes that the harder he comes at me.  The more I SEEK HIM and HIS truth, the more I SEE the lies the enemy tries to get me to ingest.  

"If you say, “The Lord is my refuge,” and you make the Most High your dwelling, no harm will overtake you, no disaster will come near your tent. For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways; they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone. You will tread on the lion and the cobra;  you will trample the great lion and the serpent. “Because he loves me,” says the Lord, “I will rescue him;  I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name. He will call on me, and I will answer him;  I will be with him in trouble,  I will deliver him and honor him. With long life I will satisfy him and show him my salvation.” Psalm 91:9-16

Today however, I'm throwing those lies right back at Satan and his minions, and I'm saying that I am NOT going to listen to anymore of his lies, that I the DAUGHTER OF THE KING, I am MADE RIGHT in CHRIST JESUS, and I have HIS power in me to REBUKE any and ALL lies that have ever been spoken to my heart.

"For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms." Ephesians 6:12

"Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you." James 4:7

Today is a New day my brothers and sisters.  I pray today that you too will know that today is the day that you to can begin again.  I pray that if you are hurting you will know that HE cares for you, and wants you to experience HIS love as HE heals your hurts.  I pray today that my transparency in my writings will give you HOPE, inspiration, encouragement, and understanding that HE doesn't expect us to understand it all, all HE asks of each and everyone of us is to TRUST HIM.  I pray today that today is the start of the New You.

With love, grace, compassion, and understanding,

Your Sister in CHRIST JESUS,

~ Heather 

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