Sunday, February 16, 2014

perfectly..... well imperfect!

Each time I write out my blog, I struggle with wanting to catch EVERY error, whether it be grammatical or spelling.  It is during that time that I feel stressed, and lose sight of everything that HE has just taught me.  HIS Daily Teachings today is HIS loving reminder that I am perfectly....... well imperfect!

HE is wanting me to know that if I were perfect, then I wouldn't need HIM.  Since I've already established through several other posts that I do in fact need HIM, I know that it is truly the work, of my "inner critic" to be my "kill joy" in my journey that I am seeking HIM daily to teach, lead, and guide me to wholeness. 

HE is wanting me to know that the perfection that I strive for is okay, however I just fail to see that it isn't until till the "the other side of HEAVEN" where I will be made whole, and I will be perfect.  HE is wanting me to remember that by allowing my "inner critic" to control me in my impossible quest for protect here on Earth, I without even realizing it have allowed the same "inner critic" to take up residence and torture and get my own children "worked up."

This morning HE is reminding me of my childhood when I strived at one point to please my parents.  However the more I strived the harder I fell.  Just when I thought I did things the "right way," they quickly came along and let me know that NOT only did I do it wrong, but I was so "foolish" in taking pride in my work, that I was blind if I "thought" I did a good job.  Trying to live up to their constant demands of perfection was exhausting, and HIS loving reminder to me today was this:  "ALL of the things that have allowed your "inner critic" to break you on, well you have done the same to your children.  I am calling on you today Heather, to break the cycle.  Through you I will create a new mindset of WHOSE they are, and they will then be able to be filled with MY endless JOY, and it will spill out of you."

I can't begin to tell you just how much I love, enjoy, and look forward to HIS Daily Teachings in my day. They are truly what help keep me focused on the bigger picture, and what helps me recover much quicker when I have made a mistake.  It is the very reason I am able to answer this question, "knowing now what you do, would you want to continue to go through tests and trials?"  To this I would say, "YES, as I know that HE is there with me, leading, guiding, and teaching me.  Loving me through everything and because HE has proven to me time and again that every trial and every test was designed to make me grow, my faith, my trust, and my love for HIM.

In choosing to accept that I am perfectly.... well imperfect I know that I must be strongly rooted in my faith. It is not surprising to me that HE is teaching me this now, as it has taken me this long, through many of HIS teachings, and through many tests and trials to get me to this point.  HE is wanting me to know that had HE tried to teach this concept to me earlier in my walk, it would have confused me, and I wouldn't have been able to appreciate just what HE was saying to me.

"Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong." Ephesians 3:17

HE is wanting me to know that in choosing to hold tight to my faith in HIM, and focusing on "becoming Mary," that is when I will become more CHRIST LIKE.   HE is telling me once again that in everything that I do, think, or say I must ask myself this question, "would JESUS bless this?" Pastor Brian Sanders, Elevate Church, Morton, IL

In continuing on my journey to "becoming Mary" HE is wanting me to understand that even though I "think" I am "helping" by placing my "expectations"  on my family to which they couldn't possibly meet, I am causing more damage as their own "inner critic," will open the door to self-doubt just as it did to me. HE is telling me that since that door was opened at a early age, I have missed out on so much of HIS JOY that has been there all along just for me.  This I know I do NOT want to be my own children's truth, therefore I know that I must choose to practice acceptance that I am perfectly.... well imperfect and so are they!  I must model to my children that we are ALL children of the living GOD, and HE is with us, ready to teach, lead, and guide us through every single step of our journey.  That HIS grace, HIS peace, HIS love, HIS mercy, HIS forgiveness, and HIS joy is there, it is ours, so we must claim it!

In choosing acceptance of WHOSE I am, it is then that I will be able to live with HIS peace, and HIS JOY that I am accepted just as I am, perfectly...... well imperfect!  Kay Warren writes "YOU and I need to fire our "inner critic.""  HE is teaching me that when I choose to accept that I, Heather am perfectly..... well imperfect, my JOY in today, as well as my hope for tomorrow can grow.  HE is wanting me to know that being perfectly.....well imperfect means that I must choose to fight to keep HIS peace, HIS grace, HIS trust, balance, and acceptance in my heart and mind.  I must seek HIM daily to create in my a content filled heart and mind because of WHOSE I am.

This morning HE is reminding me of one of my heart's cry that is I so desperately desire, want, and need to live out my faith contagiously!  HE is wanting me to know that when I choose to live this way, it is then that not only will I be able to nurture HIS JOY in my own heart, but it will spill out of me, and onto others.  I must seek HIM, and ask HIM to teach, lead, and guide me so that HIS endless JOY will be evident in my life, and I will then be able to bear witness to any and ALL who choose to accept JESUS CHRIST as their LORD and SAVIOR.  

This morning as I journaled I wrote out this prayer: "LORD JESUS create in me a heart and mind to be a woman of grace and trust.  Let all of my thoughts, actions, and words be a loving reflection of WHO YOU are!  Let YOUR JOY overflow out of my life, and spill onto other's lives.  Lead me LORD to where my trust is without borders, and where the waters run deep, where I need only to depend on YOU.  Let YOUR word run deep through my heart and mind so that I will be changed.  Lead me to become a woman of JOY! OH how I love you JESUS, in YOUR HOLY, MIGHTY, and JUST name!  Amen!

I pray today for peace in your hearts that you too are perfectly.... well imperfect.  I pray that you will be at peace with that because of WHOSE you are!  I pray that if you don't already know WHOSE you are, that you will have the courage to seek HIM, and when you do, you will find HIM.  I pray that the LORD GOD of your life, will pour HIS blessings and favor of your life, and you will come under HIS authority and allow HIM to teach, lead, and guide you through every single step of your own journey towards wholeness.  I pray that you too will be able to live your life with a contagious faith, and that HIS JOY will pour out of you and spill onto others.


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