Friday, February 7, 2014

through the fire....

In 2005 I began a journey towards wholeness through a therapist that actually worked at a place called Journey Towards Wholeness.  Just knowing that makes me smile, as this is another loving reminder that HE has been with me ALL of this time.  My therapist's name was Sheryl, and she was HEAVEN-sent.  Not only did she help me discern all of what had happened to me, she prayed for me, she quoted scripture for me, and filled me with HIS loving word, HIS truth, and even though it's taken me till know to fully understand what she was trying to tell me, I now know and understand that she was being lead by HIS HOLY SPIRIT to help me walk "through the fire."

I remember the day that she talked to me about how going through trials and tests like this in life, is like being put "through the fire" that is designed to refine us, just as diamonds are refined.  To be honest I had forgotten about her saying that until this morning, when I read this: "It is being test as fire tests and purifies gold -- though your faith is more precious than gold."

HIS Daily Teachings today is letting me know that in going "through the fire," and having my faith tested and remaining strong in my faith, I will receive so much praise and glory and honor on my day of judgement when CHRIST JESUS is revealed to this fallen & broken world.

This brings tears to my eyes, as I have shared before that my greatest heart's cry and longing is to hear HIM say when my life here on earth is through, "Well done good and faithful servant," all because I chose to remain faithful, and full of HIS hope and seeking HIS JOY as I walked "through the fire."

HE is wanting me to know that HE will continue to refine me and put me "through the fire" until the day CHRIST JESUS comes back.  Therefore I must not allow myself to become weary as I know HE is with me.  HE can, will, and does uphold me with HIS righteous hand.

"Don’t fear, because I am with you; don’t be afraid, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you, I will surely help you; I will hold you with my righteous strong hand." Isaiah 41:10

HE is wanting me to know that being put "through the fire" produces gold in my life-- pure gold that has brought me more happiness and peace than I could have ever imagined.  I have been able to be filled by HIS ENDLESS JOY!  

I know this because, where nightmares and flashbacks once consumed my mind, where anger, bitterness, and plots for revenge once took up residence has been evicted, and I am able to live with HIS endless JOY. I know that in being put "through the fire" about the abuse than I have endured and choosing to forgive the people who abused me, HE has set my soul free.  I can tell you that for the past almost 8 years I have been nightmare, flashback, revenge seeking, angry, and bitterness FREE!  All because I have chosen to seek and receive FREEDOM, TRUE FREEDOM in CHRIST JESUS!

"This third I will put into the fire; I will refine them like silver and test them like gold. They will call on my name and I will answer them; I will say, ‘They are my people,and they will say, ‘The Lord is our God." Zechariah 13:9

Today I am so thankful that I had the courage to heed HIS "whisper" in choosing to forgive those who have hurt me.  I am so thankful that because I have chosen to forgive, I am able to live, truly live the life that I have been blessed with. 

This morning as I was journaling, and crying out to HIM, about my current situation this thought came to me. "Currently I am being put "through the fire," but this time for a different reason.  Not even realizing that once again HE is refining and renewing my heart, soul, and mind, to strengthen my faith in HIM, to make my dependence on HIM even stronger.  I know this because I have been put "through the fire" so many times before.  

HE is wanting me to know that I have been primed to hear HIS word today, because my current situation in being put "through the fire," I have been focusing on the wrong thing.  HE is teaching me that by refining and renewing my faith in HIM is HIS plan, and HIS purpose so that I will be able to lead by faith in my family, and others with an unwavering faith.

HE is telling me in my lifetime I am going to have to keep living out my faith-- publicly-- by writing out this blog, and sharing HIS good news.  Therefore I must choose to be thankful that I am once again being put "through the fire," as this is what will guarantee that I will be able to endure ALL of the ridicule, and condemnation that I will come up against.

HE is wanting me to know that I am being put "through the fire," for HIS good and because I know HE is good and HIS ways are loving, I am able to say, trust and BELIEVE that HE has it all worked out for my own good.

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28

HE is wanting me to know that being put "through the fire" to teach me about forgiveness is to create in me a heart of compassion by speaking from my heart and understanding someone elses struggles in choosing to forgive.  

HE has been working over my heart so hard this morning about why I was put "through the fire" in the way that I was.  Though for the longest time I felt angry that I had to be the one to go through what I did, not the abuse, the forgiveness, the taking the first step, being the bigger person, being GOD honoring, even though I received NOTHING in return.  Today I can say I am thankful as I am able to understand two very important things about being put "through the fire."

First of all being put "through the fire" about my abuse has given me a heart for people.  A heart for hurting people who hurt people, because of the pain that they carry with them, that is embedded so deep into their souls.  Who only when they themselves are put "through the fire," are able to be set free from their burdens, fears, anxieties, and strife.

Secondly, being put "through the fire" has refined my heart to see people as HE sees them.  HIS gift of perception, to see beyond what is present, but what is hidden, the pain that is buried so deep.  It is the very reason that I have been blessed with HIS gifts of HIS mercy, HIS discernment, HIS wisdom, and prayer.  

Even though it was revealed to me several years ago about HIS gifts, it has taken me being put "through the fire," for me to truly know and understand WHY HE has continued to refine and renew my heart and faith in HIM.  It seems as if though at EVERY opportunity I am being tested to see how I will endure being put "through the fire."

I am learning that it is only because I have been put "through the fire" that I am able to have empathy and compassion for people.

This morning Kay Warren's words really spoke to me about what being put "through the fire" has done for her.  "Every day when I get up, I live more passionately and purposely than I ever did because though I don't know about tomorrow-- GOD still owns tomorrow-- all I know about is today."

HE is teaching me that in being put "through the fire" my relationship with HIM is only becoming stronger and deeper than I could have ever imagined.  I know that without being refined "daily" I wouldn't be able to truly understand what HE has been, is, and will continue to teach me about WHO I am supposed to be, and what I need to do to achieve that.  HE is wanting me to know that refining me is to teach me how to live my best life, the life that HE has chosen for me!

HE is wanting me to live with an appreciation and anticipation for HEAVEN, as that is where all who have been broken and received HIS love, HIS grace, HIS mercy, and HIS forgiveness, have gone on and been fully restored. HE is telling me that being put "through the fire" is to prepare me for that day.

This reminds me of an amazing song by Hillsong United "YOU Hold Me Now" "In this life I will stand. Through my joy and my pain. Knowing there's a greater day. There's a hope that never fails. Where Your Name is lifted high. And forever praises rise. For the glory of Your Name. I'm believing for the day"

At the end of today's teaching this is the final part that I wrote in my journal. "FATHER help me to see YOUR "treasures" YOUR ENDLESS JOY as I walk "into the darkness."  Be with me FATHER as I am being put "through the fire."  Forgive me LORD when I fail to trust YOU.  When I forget that YOU love me, and that YOU will work out EVERYTHING for my own good.  Please keep my my focused on YOU LORD on what it is that YOU are telling me so that I won't miss out on YOUR JOY that is there for me in the midst of my sorrows.  FATHER as YOU continue to refine and renew my heart,soul,mind, and spirit I pray it will bring me closer to YOU.  I need YOU LORD JESUS with all that I am and all that I have, I need you.  I love you, Amen.

My final thought for today is this, "OH LORD I'm running to YOUR arms, as YOU are all I need!!!"

I pray today that if you are being put "through the fire" that you will know that HE is refining and renewing YOU for HIS plan and HIS purpose for your life.  I pray today that HE will reveal HIMSELF to you in a way that you will know that it is HIM.  I pray that you will be covered in peace and comfort in choosing to hold tight to your faith.   I pray that if you don't know JESUS that you will say, LORD JESUS,  I am sorry for my sins, please forgive me. I am choosing to BELIEVE in YOU and trust that YOU love me.  I choose to BELIEVE that YOU have paid the price for my sins.   I give my life to YOU, and I ask that YOU please come into my heart and be LORD of my life.  I pray that you will come to know that your greatest "treasure" is waiting for you, and that you will have the courage today to claim it!


No comments:

Post a Comment