Friday, February 28, 2014

truth is.....

My two teenage daughters play this game with their friends on social media.  Truth is, your pretty, your smart, you fun to be around, we don't really know each other, we haven't been able to hang out for a while, I like you, the list goes on and on.  Well this morning, HE is wanting me to know what HIS truth is.  

You may have noticed that I haven't blogged for a few days, and that is because, well the truth is, I haven't really wanted to.  You see I'm in a seasoning of growing and change, and I have been in a lot of pain with this season.  There have been days where the last thing I want to do is know what I have to do in order to make the change that I am needing in my life.

There have been mornings where I have woken up thinking, "Oh GOD please not today, just let everything go right today, so it won't be so hard for me."  This morning HE has revealed HIS truth to me, by saying,  "the truth is Heather, that I am going to keep calling on you to make the changes that you are in need of, and the reason I am calling on you, is because you are the one in need.

This morning HE is taking me further into HIS teaching about what the truth is about the anger that lives within me.  HE is wanting me to know that this anger that I am refusing to let go of, will eventually destroy me, and wash away all of HIS teachings if I don't learn to work through it, and let it all go.  Letting go of my anger is a HUGE struggle for me, as it has lived in me for so long.  Anger festers within me, whenever I am trying my best to do what I know is honoring to HIM, and everything and everyone around me is doing things to make me mad.

The truth is in the moments where I can feel my feelings welling up inside of me, I begin to pray, "LORD JESUS, please help me to not get "worked up."  Reveal your truth about what is going on, set me free from these emotions LORD."  The more I pray the harder the situation or the person I am battling my anger with presses into me.  The more I seek HIM, the more the pressure is on, and the more angry I become because, come on now, I am TRYING!!!!  

It NEVER fails that in that moment is when I LOSE IT!  The moment where I become the very thing I prayed that I wouldn't become.  Even though I may  have been aggravated, or upset by someone or something, and realized that my anger was festering, and "thought" I was doing the right thing, I find myself in a puddle of tears, and feeling the enormous weight of condemnation on my broken spirit, and worry that once again I have missed the mark, and have dishonored HIM, and HIS Daily Teachings.

"gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law" Galatians 5:23

HE is wanting me to know that HE gives me the self control that I am need of to monitor my emotions.  This for me means to monitor my mouth, because so often it begins running before my brain has even had a chance to process what the truth is.  HE is reminding me of the times where I will tell one of my children a task that they need to complete.  When I go to check on them, and see that they haven't even started, I ask them why they haven't and before they have even had a chance to speak, I begin yelling, "WHY can't you EVER do what you are told?  WHY must you always disobey me?"

HIS truth is, that I, Heather, motor mouth, have missed the mark on so many days, and interactions with my own children, because I, have missed the mark with HIS Daily Teachings for my life.  The more I study HIS word, and seek HIM, the harder it has become for me to do what HE tells me to do, as it seems as if though the entire universe is lined up against me.  The more I seek HIM, the more I find HIM, and the more trouble seems to find me. 

HE is wanting me to know that HIS truth is that this is ALL a part of HIS plan for my life.  HE is telling me that it is in these moments where HIS truth is revealed of WHOSE I am.  HE is wanting me to know that when I feel the temptation rising up in me to get angry, and get mad, and explode, I must remember that HE is the one who loves me and knows me best, and HE will give me a way out.  

"No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it." 1 Corinthians 10:13

HIS truth is today that the condemnation that I am feeling, is NOT from HIM.  HE is wanting me to know that HE isn't mad at me, but rather HE is MAD ABOUT ME!   HE is wanting me to know that it is because HE loves me so much, that HE tests me, because HE doesn't want me to stay where I am at right now.  HE is wanting me that HE allows these things in my life to stretch my faith in HIM, and to make me stronger against the lies of this world, so that HIS TRUTH will be revealed.  HE is wanting me to know that this is ALL just apart of HIS plan  for me to model CHRIST for others, and for my life to be a living testament for people to see that HE truly does have our best interest at heart, and HE truly is the ONE WHO loves and knows us best.  HE is wanting me to know what HIS truth is about WHO I am, because of WHOSE I am.

This morning I wasn't sure if I could stand another teaching about "Choose JOY," as I had a really bad attitude.  Instead of going straight to HIS word, I sat down in my living room and watched JOYCE MEYER, ENJOYING EVERYDAY LIFE, and wouldn't you know it that she was talking about "Emotional Stability?!?"  The more she spoke the more I could sense that today would be the day that HIS Daily Teachings would be kicked back into gear for my life, and I was being primed to receiving HIS Daily Teaching today.

If that wasn't enough, when I went to my Power Thoughts devotional by JOYCE MEYER, I realized that I was truly being primed to hear HIM this morning.  Today's power thought is: I forgive quickly and never allow emotions to rule my actions.

HIS truth is today that until I learn to forgive quickly, meaning I must choose to forgive quickly, even when the person isn't sorry, I will allow my emotions to control me.  I don't want this for my life, as my emotions get me into a whole lot of trouble, and have so often destroyed the very relationships that I hold very near and dear to my heart.  Truth is today that instead of being grateful and thankful for HIS Daily Teachings about forgiveness and the importance it is for me to receive my freedom, I have fought it.  Even trying to justify it by saying,  "I have forgiven, but I haven't forgotten."  HIS truth is saying, "IF you have truly forgiven, then you won't remember, or need to remember when someone offends you again, because it is then that you, Heather, will be seeing them through MY eyes."  

For the past few weeks HE has really been working on me about seeing people through HIS eyes, and loving them as HE loves them, because of how I know that HE loves me.  HE is telling me that when I choose to see people through HIS eyes, I will see beyond the surface of what is visible.  I will see the pain that is rooted deep within them.  So often I forget how broken I have been, and how HE has restored my life.  HE is wanting me to always remember that just how I was broken, other's are broken as well.

HE is wanting me to know that it doesn't matter what a person may have, or the life they are living, even when I "think" they are living a truly blessed life, they too are struggling, they too have been hurt in someway, and they too need JESUS.  So in knowing this, I am understanding that this is the very reason WHY I, Heather, am being called to be the Hands and Feet of JESUS and love the unloved, forgive the unforgiven, extend HIS grace, and show HIS mercy to the broken and lost souls of this fallen world.  To accept that I must suffer in being sure that HIS truth is revealed for all to know and see through HIS living testament which is my life.  My life has been a broken mess, that HE has, is, and will continue to make HIS beautiful message.

Today dear friends, I just pray for healing for your broken hearts.  I pray that you will seek HIM, and ask HIM to show you were your anger lies.  I pray that you will have the courage to forgive, love, give grace, and show mercy to those who have wronged you.  I pray that today is the day that HE will open the eyes of your heart, soul, and mind so that you will be able to see people through HIS eyes. 


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